Victor the Crab

Jon would be wise to steer clear of Williams, considering how the latter embarrassed NBC with his tall tale tales in Iraq. And it's quite possible he used Jon and TDS to tell one of his tall tales.

I don't know about any of you, but I think Hillary Clinton would do well to choose her husband Bill as her running mate (but won't for a whole lot of reasons).

Awlrighty, I just typed the words "Carl's Jr" into Google and am now going to see what the fuss is about with this new burger of theirs, la-la, la-la, la-la, la-la, la..........

Well that was different. I didn't expect Jon to get orgasmic right from the start and trying to contain it before presenting Donald Trump's ridiculous are-you-fucking-kidding-me announcement that he's running for president. The thing that stood out for me was Trump's use of Neil Young's Keep On Rockin' In The Free World, which was all about the decline of America in the late 80's. Which Young was none too pleased about Trump using without his permission. Oh yeah, Trump's campaign will be loads of fun. If that pizza will kill Steve Doocy, then it will serve its purpose. But let's face it Jon. You're a philanderer when it comes to horribly created food. Remember Pancakes and Sausage on a Stick? Or Baconnaise? I'm surprised Jon has never mentioned Little Caesar's Bacon Wrapped Pizza.

Yeah, but who knows what goes through the thought process of people like Thomas and Alito.

The last time Al Franken was on, he was still a comedian and writer. It'll be good to see him back as a U.S. Democratic senator from Minnesota. The rest I'm less than interested in seeing. Especially Napolitano! Will the show be dark after that week?

It's a good thing Jessica stepped in before Jordan made a fool out of himself. Seriously, why would anyone think one person in the Pacific Northwest trying to pass themselves as black was a serious social problem?

Ollie's response to Jack Warner's bullshit at him was brilliant. Especially his use of fire at the end of the show. Such a tribute deserves a salute his way: When Ollie started his little known country routine, I wondered if he was going to try the same thing with Canada. The immediate answer was no. Of course Ollie overlooked the juicier trouble with the Senate with the trial of former television newsperson, Senate member, and Jabba the Hut stand in Mike Duffy, which really couldn't happen to a more deserving douchebag.

A hope Ollie will respond to Jack Warner's latest nonsense?

The Bud Lite bar may be the best thing about The Late Late Show with James Cordon. Because everything else is an epic failure compared to CraigyFerg.

Yes, it would be nice if people like Donald Rumsfeld learned from their past mistakes Problem is, when you have sociopaths like him, Cheney, Bush, and the rest of those motherfuckers calling the shots, a media that won't question their decisions, and a general public with the attention span of a retriever finding a squirrel, the same mistakes will be made again. Which is why you can never let the GOP win the White House in 2016, or they'll do the same thing with Iran and the rest of the Middle East. Personally, I'd go with Superman winning over the Hulk. If the two of them kept fighting, they'd get nowhere because they be in a continuous draw. All Superman has to do is let the Hulk beat him up until the rage is out of him and he reverts back to Bruce Banner.

Might this be something Jon talks about tonight? Rupert Murdoch steps down as CEO of 21st Century Fox.

Colin Quinn looked like he slept in those clothes. At least he has fun with Jon.

HA! Whatta coincidence. I'm from Glencoe! (not the Scotland part...) Good thing Jon didn't try and name the rest of the countries in the G7. He'd have been snarky if he had gotten to Canada, and Stephen Harper (well deserved, IMO). And congrats American media for letting the public know what's really important out there. Actually Jon, we'd like to hear from your older brother Larry, the successful stock market executive, about how he made your life miserable in middle class New Jersey. Actually, it would have been funnier if he really did show up to spill the beans. Nick Offerman is great. But he should never lose the mustache.

That racist piece of shit doesn't deserve to be a cop! What asshole throws an unarmed fourteen year old girl to the ground? Real macho of you, pig! BTW, the story goes that the whole thing started when two white adult women started yelling at the teens telling them to "go back to the projects!" Then a fight ensures and the police along with Captain Asshole show up. Oh, and those two white women? The police didn't do a thing to them. Well that makes sense. Riding Hogs, eating hogs, because they are hogs. Your GOP candidates in their swill. Except for Rubio, he's a special case of one. Not impressed with Nicola Sturgeon and her pandering to Jon. She comes across as being full of it. Have fun trying to get what you want for Scotland while trying to deal with David Cameron who, thanks to your party, managed to get re-elected Prime Minister of the U.K. along with his right wing Tory crew.

Good for you in drinking that Bud Light Lime Ollie. Although taking a tiny little bite out of every item in that McDonald's Dollar Value Meal you had makes you look like a huge pussy.

I would hope near the end of the show as a very good way to end it.

I recommend all snarky things Canadian. But that's just me. :D

So we're really starting to wind it down with Jon. Sad. Lots of facial expressions in that montage. I think I remember most of them. Or not.

You know, while Jon and Hasan joke about how Muslim Americans need to conduct themselves in their own country, there are lots of hateful, loud mouthed, Islamophobic bigots out there (Pam Geller) that would say they're absolutely right. Was that Jordan's wife I saw at the end of that segment? Now that was nice and sweet. Melissa McCarthy in a komodo with faces of Jon all over it. A neat little tribute to him. And that movie with her and Jason Strathan looks promising.

And Ollie looks like he's ready to celebrate. https://twitter.com/iamjohnoliver/status/605800436440768513/photo/1

Learning curves are indeed for pussies. In fact, learning is for pussies, if you're a Republican right wing shit for brains asshole who never believes they're wrong, never apologizes for anything stupid they do, and who blames other people for the mess they created. Trevor's got some big shoes to fill. Bruce Jenner was more man than Neil Cavuto will ever be. And Caitlyn Jenner is more woman than Neil Cavuto could ever handle.

So Sepp Blatter steps down as FIFA head today. Fascinating.

Rand Paul is not a serious person. Ted Cruz is an idiot. And Lindsey Graham is delusional. Three of the better known clowns riding the Republican clown bus shown tonight. So if Jon's been yelling "penis, penis, penis!" into the phone at Ollie all day, then what's he been yelling at to Stephen?

I luuuuved that Ollie made the FIFA corruption scandal his number one priority, as did several members of the audience. As someone who cares about soccer, going after these criminal bastards this was a long time coming. Sepp Blatter, Chuck Blazer, Jack Warner, they've all behaved like cartoonish Bond villains for too long. The FBI should continue to go after these filth. And sponsors should think long and hard about disassociating themselves from FIFA as long as criminals like Blatter remain. And it just may happen sooner than anyone thinks! As for the rest of the show, if Pope Francis had watched an episode of Friends in the last twenty five years, he would have been convinced that television sucked and not worth watching ever again. And what the fuck Thailand?!! You got enough problems with your sex trade industry. Your idolizing fascination of Hitler make things worse for you. I just wish Ollie had brought out Rip Taylor to throw confetti at the audience. Or is he too old for that anymore? EDIT: Realized I forgot a forward slash for my link. I'm so embarrassed. <:(