Wellfleet

I have a feeling that Zoey's family history might be a lot more typical than Will's, and that's why we've never heard a peep about it. Because Bill & Jen recognize that if it's on TV, there's a good chance Zoey will someday hear it. Zoey might have been a planned pregnancy, with two educated, financially-stable married parents who in the end simply couldn't accept the fact that Zoey has achondroplasia and therefore surrendered her for adoption. India is a developing country in many ways but it usually takes a LONG time for attitudes to change in certain matters. Her parents would be dealing with centuries of prejudice, myths etc and just couldn't handle it. Of course, her parents could be upper-class jerks who simply didn't want the stigma of an "imperfect" child too. Who knows? Zoey could have been a child of incest/rape, have a 15-year old mother, been found in a trash can or any other damn horrible thing. One thing for sure, the child was lucky to have been available for adopton when Bill & Jen came looking...

Agree. Short hair, long hair, no hair - anyone who could mistake Zoey for a boy is just not very observant.

Oh, so this mom has basically been given the same advice Jen was - that carrying a baby would be risky-even-dangerous for her. That changes things somewhat, but obviously still hoping everything goes perfectly for her.

You're not wrong.

No kidding? God bless her, that's awesome. For her sake, I hope they were LP babies.

I wouldn't say that Bill and Jen have NO little-people friends, but I do agree that they don't define themselves - basically - as little people. And this is as it should be. I get the impression that they were both raised to believe - and rightly so - that they're no different than anyone else - just smaller. I think they were encouraged as children to try whatever activities they could - size notwithstanding. I remember Jen being a cheerleader, I think. They both went to college, have successful careers etc - all in the average-statured world. I'm willing to bet Jen is probably the only MD in the US who's also a little person. I just think they don't "run into" little people very often, if ever - and don't get the opportunity to strike up little people friendships. Maybe even don't have time for LPA conventions or other gatherings. They might be in denial about being little people - sure - but if so, it only seems to have helped.

I agree and thought that statement of Jen's was very odd. Extremely difficult to fathom. IIRC, Jen is ultra-petite. Even among little people, she's considered little. The MDs have already determined that her size virtually precluded her from being able to carry a baby for 9 months, which is why they switched to pursuing surrogacy, and then ultimately adoption. How could there be other little women out there, even smaller than her, who DID successfully carry and birth babies?

Yes. The only thing we never hear Boob yammering about acceptance of responsibility. For anything. Like the consummate narcissist that he is, whatever goes badly in Boob's life is always the fault of something or someone-not-Boob. I honestly believe he'd throw Me-chelle under the bus before he'd ever accept blame himself.

Fully agree. Boob is the way he is now because of [1] his natural temperament and [2] either real or imagined things that happened during his childhood. He's resentful that there were apparently some hard times financially when he was a kid. He's really resentful that his father wasn't Superman. And apparently the teasing he got for being short for so long - I think he once said he didn't have his final growth spurt until his last year in high school - pretty much traumatized him, since he copes with it now by being one of the biggest control freaks in human history.

I believe that this has been the prevailing view among professionals for many years now. To begin broaching the idea of adoption, in terms a child can comprehend, as soon as possible. As young as 1 or 2, so it is always part of the child's stream of consciousness. Clearly children that little won't actually understand the definition of adoption and all it entails, but it will also not ever be a catastrophic event in the child's life. It will just be part of his story. Celebrating the child's adoption day is a wonderful idea too, I think. Before the 60s, many adoptive parents actively held back the fact that a child had been adopted - and this almost never worked out well. I have an adopted cousin - older than me - who found out from kids on the school bus, and he literally was never the same since then - lots of problems with drugs etc. When I was teaching I had a little guy in my class one year who'd been adopted from Poland. Cutest little tigger you ever saw. He was in the first grade and still didn't know. It was close to the end of the term, and his mom told me she & her husband had no plans to tell him. As gently as I could, I pointed out to her that other children in our room knew. That there are ALWAYS other people who know, and that eventually, virtually all adoptees do find out. She was very adamant about not telling him however, so that was that. I've often wondered what happened to him.

I agree. Zoey's hair is adorable - those eyes look even bigger. IMO, everyone looks better with shorter hair. It dawned on me years ago that I tend to notice the WHOLE person - male or female - right away when the hair is worn shorter. If the hair is shoulder-length or longer, I tend to focus on it. I'd say that faces - and personas - just "pop" more when there's less hair. Weird maybe, but try it sometime. For a whole week, look critically at everyone you meet, everyone you see in magazines, on TV, online etc. Which people "pop" right away for you? Maybe Coco Chanel was really right when she said that all women over the age of 30 should wear their hair chin-length or shorter?

I was never a cat person in my younger days. My family and all my relatives had always had dogs - and we do love dogs still. But all our minds were changed, or expanded really - to include cats too about 20 years ago. A little stray 6-month old tiger kitten with giant pea-green eyes wandered up onto my mother's kitchen porch one chilly but sunny March day, and she heard the mewing outside and went to investigate. My dad had died about 9 months earlier. My middle brother had just moved home to take a new job and was staying with Mom until he could find an apartment with his cat, a black long-haired Persian type. He talked my Mom into taking on the little kitten. I still remember the excitement in her voice when she called me at work to tell me about it. I told her it will be great for the kitten to have my brother's cat as a surrogate mother for a while - and for Mom to have another heartbeat around the house when he finally moved out again. Mom took "Tess" to the vet the next day to be checked, spayed, all necessary shots, an ear mite treatment etc. They became best friends until my Mom died, and today Tess is 17 and lives with my youngest sister and a big goofy Golden Retriever brother [the two get along very well].

This is a very valid point. I doubt TLC is enamored with the idea of showing Will and Zoey coloring for 15 minutes, or looking at books on the floor in their rooms etc. They only want to show the big productions - the birthday parties, field trips, vow renewals, trick-or-treating etc. Another good reason why none of these shows should be called reality. Because they're not. They show big moments, or just plain scripted activities.

Why is it noteworthy that the Kleins have help along with going out anywhere with Will and Zoey? Of course they do. Due to their different dwarfism issues, they obviously have physical limitations preventing them from being able to do certain things [and a 6'6" Bill could have injured his back exercising the same way 4' Bill did, so being a little person isn't particular relevant either]. An average-statured person who became a paraplegic after a car accident would need help too, chauffeuring their own pre-schoolers around anywhere. I don't recall either Bill or Jen ever saying - at any point - "We plan on adopting children and by the way, we will be able to fully care for them ourselves. Without help, just the same as if we were average-statured..."

Tens of 1000s of studies have shown that the personality is basically in place by the age of 5. And that a great deal of general temperament appears to be genetic. So at roughly 4½ Zoey pretty much has most of what she's going to get to work with. Now she needs the shaping, guidance and form of wise parenting.

How is it easier for parents of newborns to adjust to being parents, versus parents of toddlers or pre-schoolers? If anything, IMO it seems like all the physical care a newborn requires, coupled with the sleep deprivation the parents experience, makes adjustment more difficult for people with newborns. Not to mention the fact that parents have to wait a long time before their infants can tell you just what the problem is - LOL I think Bill and Jen were smarter to adopt pre-schoolers. Or maybe luckier than no little-person infants were available, since I bet they might have taken on a baby if they had that option.

Agree. If I had to state, right now, who is going to be a bigger handful in the future, it would be Zoey - no contest. Will is stubborn and "willful" [wink] but also has a huge need to please people and is very social. He LOVES being in groups and will want to be cooperative in most situations. Zoey will be the somewhat-immature but charming-maybe-a-little-lazy-and/or stubborn entertainer who's not at all fond of rules and have-to's of any kind. Which of these profiles would you prefer to parent? Or hire? Or just be friends with?

I'm not sure I'd call it favoritism. IMO, mothers just interact with their daughters more, and fathers with their sons. They share more of the same interests generally, and of course moms are role-models for girls. I don't think Jen is as interested in what Will likes [cars, trains etc] and she knows he's getting plenty of parental attention from Bill. Our family had 3 girls and 3 boys and we definitely were the typical 'girls-in-kitchen-with-Mom' and 'boys-in-the-garage-with Dad' family. I'd disagree on the discipline issue too. I've actually seen Jen be firm and carryout what she said she'd do [when Will used the word "stupid"]. But I haven't seen the same for Bill. I'm not saying he doesn't do it, but he has avoided doing it on camera up to now. He manages to chuckle-off every instance where I personally would have applied some discipline. Either that or he finds some sort of usually-lame reason for not being firm. The it's-the-first-day-of-school-and-we-don't-want-to-upset-the-apple-cart scenario comes to mind. In that instance, a parent should have taken whatever Will scarfed from the pantry away from him. Will of course would have been royally-steamed. No smiling for the camera, pouting all the way in the car. But all that would have evaporated once he arrived at the excitement of school. End of issue. Kids get over things and at that age, usually pretty quickly. Bill seems to be unwilling to have his kids mad at him, even for a little time. Daddy is always your best buddy, is what he wants them thinking. And parents are not supposed to be buddies - not all the time. Overall though I think the Kleins are fairly-typical American parents for this time. Too much stuff, too much $ being spent, too much activity. Too little discipline and too little "alone-self-undirected" time. Just my opinion however.

You and your hubby did it right, big - kudos!

I believe it. In general, I think it's a really poor move for any organization to hire relatives. No matter what. While it certainly CAN work out in some instances, the perception of nepotism is always there. Even if there actually was no favoritism being shown, others never quite believe that. It makes for a tough time for the new hire in most cases - and he/she never really realizes why. But existing staffers do not fully accept people hired under those circumstances. In my office a few years back, "we" hired our receptionist's niece who was already a student at our school. For some reason that no one else could EVER understand, our director just thought this kid was some kind of marvel. Was always praising her or thanking her at staff meetings - and for the lamest reasons. My best friend in the office leaned over one day before the meeting got started and whispered "I wonder if Alice is going to be commended for tying her own shoes again today?"

Dear Joe, I can completely relate. Sorry to say it, but in my experience some women remain "take-care-of-everything" mommies their entire lives - no matter how old their children become. In their minds, their kids never become fully-functioning mature adults. I spent the last 25 years of my career at a large university in graduate admissions, and over the years dealt with an unbelievable number of mothers who were "interceding" on behalf of their graduate student offspring. No kidding. They sent or personally brought applications to our office, paid application fees, called with umpteen questions, brought or sent supporting documents [essays, transcripts, recommendation letters, creative portfolios etc]. You name it. For young men and women - but overwhelmingly young men - who were applying for masters or PhD level studies! Fathers do not do this, and mothers do not do it for their daughters in most instances. But the number of mothers who step in on behalf of their baby boys is amazing. If someone had told me when I started the job how often I'd see this, I'd never have believed them.

Very pretty kitty. What do they call that color in a cat? Cream? English tea with milk? Whatever, that is a very pretty kitty. Congrats on having a new member of the family!

Children are routinely-vaccinated too. But vaccinations for the most part shouldn't or can't wait for years. IMO ear-piercing is something that doesn't HAVE to be done, and therefore can wait until the child herself is old enough to make a reasonably-measured decision about it. If I have kids, I wouldn't allow it before the age of 10. My own preference is for kids to be kids, until it's time for them to be adults. In the last half-century, kids have been "growing up" too soon in lots of regrettable ways. One of the biggest is all the adult fashion that's now available in miniature for children. But that's me. For cultures that have pierced the ears of babies and toddlers for centuries, this is something else entirely, although I'm guessing the Kleins don't consider themselves in that group. One thing for sure, Jen will check things out thoroughly and if earrings would be a problem with Zoey's CPAP equipment, she won't go ahead with it until CPAP treatment ends.

Men like this make nearly ALL women nauseous. Which IMO is a big part of why so many of them become involved with under-age girls. They're basically afraid of women their own age. And the nausea continues...

It's a defense mechanism. When children do good things, parents are proud of them. By the same token, when a child does something negative, most parents feel - at least to some extent - responsible or connected to it. By minimizing Josh's activities, Boob & Me-chelle minimize their own blame, guilt, shame etc. What he did is not really so bad, so we're not really so bad. In their own minds, of course. The general public is not going to cut them this kind of slack.