Kiss my mutt

If you keep having to adjust your dress because it’s scooching up your thighs, find another dress. I still don’t have a sense of who these guys are, especially Jason. I can’t even give an opinion of him.

That bathtub looked too small for them. Hardly romantic.

Well, you’ll never have to wonder what Lindy is thinking since she’s a running verbal stream of consciousness but it comes across very manic and ruminating many times. She is unfailingly chipper and upbeat, excited to try whatever comes her way and she altogether likable in smaller doses, especially if you’re a more reserved person like me. It sure doesn’t help when Miguel looks at her in a patronizing way and withholds any basic reassurance with her and the less he talks, the more she gets anxious the more she talks and I can see how she’d wonder if he was really into her when she is all in and feel insecure. He’s definitely not sensitive enough for her.

They’re having those dorky twins on? I’m sure they’ll be the first ones to go. They look barely old enough to shave. I can’t believe their parents signed the permission slip for them to go on this field trip.

Maybe Binh Can have a broship with Jose of the whiteboard and hangout comparing budgets and ways to cut out unnecessary expenses like electricity.

I agree, it looks like it could use a thorough cleaning! I hope Craig keeps it together and doesn’t give Naomi the satisfaction of thinking he is jealous.

Marcie and John are so blah. They must be desperate for footage because watching pregnant women talking about being pregnant is boring and she seems like a real boring person to begin with. Wonder how she agreed to this.

When Shep and Taylor were getting packed for the trip, she said, something about him throwing away her makeup and Shep said, I like you without makeup. It makes me wonder if she rarely wears makeup because he prefers that or she does. I always thought it was interesting in a cool way she goes natural most of the time especially on this show.

Just in case anyone else is watching this sad sack of a show-Naomi gets on the bus and the only person she hugs is Craig? I’m sure she can’t wait until he hears about how Whitney spent the night. She either is still in love with him or likes messing with him. Probably both. I can’t stand that basic bitch.

Tell me you’re breaking up without telling me you’re breaking up!

It looks like they’re playing at having a store while their “staff” does the real work. I think it’s way too early for them to bring on so many people but sadly, it’s probably necessary with their already busy schedules of Instagram, manicures and Starbucks schedules. Marcus Lemonis, The Profit, should give them a visit, all the good that would do them.

Yeah, totally!

Wait, what did Nate say about Justin being emotional and sloppy?

For all of Mitch’s bluster about plastic bags, he sure has a lot of plastic crap in his house. I figured he’d be more of a minimalist and at least keep his home marginally clean. That was disgusting. No way would I put produce directly in his fridge without a baggie and maybe not even then. I hope Justin doesn’t give his dog away. At least Alexis has an out if he doesn’t.

Good gravy, we need to get Lindy a hamster wheel for all the freaky energy going on. She’s over the top with her talking and mannerisms.

The apartments look so much better than other seasons. I loved the kitchen in Stacia and Nate’s place.

Did the vow renewal take place in a brothel?

That’s his middle name! I can’t believe Gabby picked mashed potato man!

I wonder if Gabby was seriously considering Logan. She didn’t seem too bummed since she wasn’t crying for once.

Tino gives me a gut check that something is unsafe about him.

Yeah, I think so. I feel much less invested in who does what this season. I have Bachelorette fatigue with both of them there.

Tyler looks like a Joey Lawrence wanna be and all of 15 years old until he takes off his shirt. I can’t see Rachel with him.

Johnny resembles a scoop of cold mashed potatoes from a school cafeteria. He’s just so blah, I didn’t even know his name until tonight.

What in the holy hell is this? Too over the top, but when in Amsterdam, I guess. That instructor looks like she’s had a hard life, pun somewhat intended.

Gabby may have gotten a bruise from Botox or filler. Her lips look even bigger tonight. Nate is probably relieved he’s open for BIP or even The Bachelor. I’m glad she realized she needed to work on some things before taking on a child at this point in her life. It’s an unselfish, mature decision. Between the crying and the sweeping Disney music, I could totally mute this and just enjoy the scenery.