rustyspigot

Rachael had a near nervous breakdown. She should have had her calming clown pants from the earlier episode. I was entertained by this season.

I have never watched Dr. Phil, but I heard this commercial today three times on the radio with Eminem's daughter talking about being pregnant with Jesus I kind of want to see the episode now.

What is the point? I'm rooting for the house at this point. Of course they went out into the woods again. But, man if Kathy Bates doesn't play crazy well.

Aw. Maybe she was just upset thinking of hanging out at a cocktail party with people dressed that bad.

I'm still trying to form words to describe Heidi's judging outfit. Colonel Sanders and some 70's feel the fabric fitted suit? I'll work on it. Erin is projecting in her copying ways accusations.

Matt and Shelby will go into the woods to think about that. You know, as they do.

I also liked that Chaz (who might be actual Chaz in the show) was the ordained minister for actor wedding.

In Scream 3, Fake Sydney had a fake British accent.

So will there be a Tindall British connection to the Roanoke colony?

They looked like they were out in the woods for 30 years a little more.

Oh I don't know. This whole premise seems needlessly stupid. I guess we are Scream 3 now. I did like that fake Shelby was British. Also Scream 3. At least no one suggested going into the woods this week.

For what it's worth I hated every aspect of the guest judges' "look".

Note to self. If I have issues with my potential guy being around other guys, don't go on a reality dating show where the potential guy has to be courting other guys. It's just common sense. Anyway, I'll miss Chad's loud shirts most of all. Just imagine if Chad knew of Robert's whore past!

Where was Chad Michaels? Remember Chad Michaels? He's back. In Pog form.

Yawn. I found the "All About Alaska"'s struggle of being in the bottom for the first time shitty behavior excuses" narrative was forced. Detox really did grow on me in the end. Who knew? Roxxxy had to leave early to catch the bus.

Shelby got her foot"Misery'd" and she had a simple cast with no apparent money to pay for it. I know. I need to stop thinking when watching.

I kind of want the interviewer to start getting the butcher's side of the story next week. Or the neighbors.

Let me fix that for you Chapter 5: We Ended Up Back In the Woods Again The cast of Into The Woods went into the woods less than Shelby and Matt. I don't know. I kind of wanted Doris Kearns Goodwin to go to the house due to her terrible acting. I won't complain about that.

Its not like they ate a bow off her cake or anything.

Meghan made me laugh for the first time I think when Kelly was talking about investigating the lot loan with her. "That sounds like something I would do". Yes. A nose flick led to Tamra to call on Jesus to help her fight Kelly. And yes, Vicki bought those flowers and planted the shoes. Or maybe it was hillbillies. No offense hillbillies. I almost forgot the biggest insult of all, American Lady Heather got kicked out of a store!

This episode was a little too Drag U for me. Aubrey Plaza's face bugs me. Alaska needs a time out in the Shade Closet (or whatever that was called) to pray.

"Maybe he just wanted the house back." Really, Shelby? A an ax wielding pig headed man that just tried to kill you vanished when the guy said "CROATOAN" and you thought maybe he just wanted the house back? By all means go out into the woods to discuss this train of thought more. Can the "My Roanoke Nightmare" interviewer please do every one a favor and murder this stupid couple.

Vicki's silent commercial "Do you want me to talk now?" No just stare silently into the camera. Why did Shannon have a random headless mannequin in her house? Let's hope this is the last we will hear of Meghan's candles. Heather wore a color! Alert the media.

Alaska needed to give Roxxxy a bus pass and send her on her way.

What would you name your horse? Bonding over bad skin. Do you spit or swallow... your wine? We both wear glasses, we have so much in common. Even the fights are boring.