Oldernowiser

He’s probably going to have to choose foodism or fashionisto...those ten thousand calorie plates of food they’ve been posting are going to catch up with his gut sooner rather than later. He’s not a kid anymore. He can’t strut a European cut with an American gut. (A poem...)

Sorry...Josie isn’t nearly photogenic enough for the RFP AND she’s not his DNA on parade. No chance.

Dunno. Right now RFP has it all...money, semi-fame, a career path where people will kiss his butt, an arm candy obedient Christian wife, and an adorable, click-bait baby. I don’t see him cheating because his ego is pretty fueled for now. But in a few years when the megapreacher gig fails to materialize, the TLC money is gone, Jinger grows a spine or opinions of her own, and/or they have more children who are less photogenic and more work...I could see him needing his ego fix and getting it that way.

If they dumped their cat they are DEAD TO ME.

Socks, RFP. Gonna cramp your style.

You know how when you’re on a bus and it’s super early and still dark and everyone is sensibly and politely dozing or pretending to and all is quiet...and then two people across the aisle from each other hit it off and start having the loudest, most content-free conversation ever (“You’re from Ohio? I have a second cousin in Pennsylvania. Or did he move to Indiana?”) and it lasts the entire two-hour bus ride to the airport and they never ever shut up? That’s these two.

Um...(small embarrassed voice) I don’t know what that is and I’m still screaming inside after some of the things that showed up on Urban Dictionary when I looked up ”BEC” because someone said that here. 😥

Oh dear God...there’s less? 😳

WWJD? (that means what would Julia do, right?)

It would make my world if some woman went all Yentl on their sexist asses and joined their seminary classes.

When one has descended to buying accessories for one’s accessories, it is time to re-evaluate one’s life priorities.

There are few things more tiresome to me than people humble bragging about their spouses. Just enjoy and STFU. Besides, the more effusive it is, the less I believe it.

My entire gastrointestinal tract shuddered looking at that picture. It may have to go lie down.

I could see RFP being the type to just ASSUME things will fall his way and is spending the money now because he’ll be a big money TV preacher soon. Although being a failed semi-pro athlete should have taught him something. Plenty of ex-NFL players go broke after their playing careers suddenly end and it’s not like he ever earned a fraction of that kind of money.

Sam has the only bullshit detector in the whole crowd and in that photo it’s turned all the way up. And he’s what, two? Old soul...smart kid. Run, little Sam, run...

Jill...that is not a “sad face.” That is one pissed off little guy, and even I, childless mother of only dogs, know the difference.

Beige guy...

Well, she’s still “the cuttest,” though... Eyeroll.

So...”you have your mother’s love for animals” IS referring to Michelle? Because oh hell no.

Then he’ll graduate from “high school.” He’s a prodigy, y’all! Yay!

She’s observant and strong, loving and loyal? So she’s a German Shepherd puppy. Mmmmkay. (I confess I lose track...is this spawn a MeBoob child? Because it’s IMPOSSIBLE for me to envision Michelle as a pet person. Hell, any of them. It’s too much work.)

That dress really really needs to be six inches longer...at a minimum.

It’s that F-list premiere thingie, isn’t it? Or does RFP frequently complete his ensemble by tucking a toy stuffed lion into his armpit?

Great. And now she’s ruined sushi for me forevermore.

They’re ugly and no doubt overpriced. But they’re designer (Gucci?) and for the RFP that’s all that matters.