Welcome To The Barge! Life Away from TFGH

[Chairperson Meow]

Monday, March 9, 2015 on Swans Crossing..... no seriously..... since Morgan seems to be in a different show than everyone else.... here's a quick recap for the ones who don't care.

Sonny's Crib (where crimes never happen): Micheal Quartermaine (as he will be referred to by me until he no longer deserves to be) is there with a police officer and a social worker. Sonny calls these people Micheal Quartermaine's "flunkies". No, Sonny, just because one has people with them it doesn't mean they're killing or committing crimes on command. Carly wrings her hands. But doesn't tell where Avery is. Neither does Sonny. The cop says I'm going to arrest you. Micheal Quartermaine is like you're going to prison. Carly does that thing where she insists someone doesn't want to do what they clearly intend on doing. Then brings Jason into it. WWJD? Work for the Commisioner? Blow up a boat? She says the Quartermaines are miserable. They're dead Micheal says, well mostly. Avery will be cherished over there. Sonny says he's not afraid of cuffs. The cop goes to arrest him. Micheal says arrest Carly too. She's his accomplice. Sonny goes to tell them Avery's location. Carly stops them because she's not um herself? The ponytail is tight? Michael even mentions the island. Suddenly, Morgan and Kiki bring Avery in. Morgan calls Micheal an ass and is all blah. Kiki blathers. I think the actress screwed her lines up. Anyway, Micheal takes Avery. "Don't worry, Avery won't forget her mother. Her middle name is Jerome. She doesn't need Corinthos. " , he tells Avery. Sonny says "That's her name. " Micheal tells her "Avery Jerome. That's too formal. I'll call you AJ." He drops the mic.

Other things:

Nina and Franco let Luke out of restraints. He threatens Nina and then escapes.

Nathan tries to dump Maxie, but she won't let him. Spinelli finds Pat Spencer's address from 10 yrs sgo. Tracy and Lulu decide to go there. Spinelli tries to win Maxie over. Too late.

Tommorow : Sonny wants to eliminate Micheal

[Francie]

To those still in contact with dry land, any Anna sightings lately?

[OnceSane]

Nope.

[Chairperson Meow]

Previews for tomorrow show Anna and Jordan. So tommorow Anna and Jordan. I'll recap her tommorow because today was just Micheal cuts down Sonny and takes Avery home, JE is good with babies, Georgie is sick, Brad and Lucas flirt in the ER, and Lulu still has baby fever. Oh and Morgan is the banker when the Corinthos family plays Monopoly. And Nina and Franco.

[Francie]

Thanks, Grrpants09 and OnceSane .

[33kaitykaity]

Thanks, Grrpants09 and OnceSane .

Ditto.  

 

I haven't even been tempted to go back yet, got some amber beer at Costco yesterday to help get me through.  Not until BM is really Jason.  

[magnolia11]

To those still in contact with dry land, any Anna sightings lately?

 

FYI, Francie, Ron just tweeted this this morning, should you want to make a visit to the mainland:

 

Ron Carlivati ‏@carlivatiron

Are you ready for five straight days of Anna & Duke? Their story continues today on @GeneralHospital! @finolahughes @KilttripUSA #GH

[SlovakPrincess]

FYI, Francie, Ron just tweeted this this morning, should you want to make a visit to the mainland:

 

Ron Carlivati ‏@carlivatiron

Are you ready for five straight days of Anna & Duke? Their story continues today on @GeneralHospital! @finolahughes @KilttripUSA #GH

 

 

Well, Ron, you've ruined the characters and their relationship, so NO.   

[Francie]

FYI, Francie, Ron just tweeted this this morning, should you want to make a visit to the mainland:

 

Ron Carlivati ‏@carlivatiron

Are you ready for five straight days of Anna & Duke? Their story continues today on @GeneralHospital! @finolahughes @KilttripUSA #GH

 

 

Thanks, magnolia11 .   The funny thing? Ron has blocked so many of the DNA fans on twitter that his broadcast isn't getting to the people who would be the most interested in it.  Idiot.

[Chairperson Meow]

The Anna stuff yesterday :

Jordan and Anna are in the rain. Anna has her fierce hat. There's a mob war coming, no time to stop it. Julian has shipments from um Canada arriving. Anna interrupts Julian and Duke as Duke is about to shoot Jules in the face. Duke is like "You're not Commisioner, this is local business." Anna points out the Canada merch. She asks Julian if he wants to press charges. He says no. Anna and Duke argue. She leaves.

[Chairperson Meow]

I've been pretty lazy, sorry. Here's the main plot points of Thursday /Friday:

Jason Jake Morgan Quartermaine Jingleheimer Schmidt, His Borg is My Borg Too:

Liz is flirting with Jake. It's boring as hell. Patrick comes in with discharge papers, but like a good doctor, takes the time to warn Jake away from his lady. He tells Liz that Jake had a vision of himself and Sam in bed. They still don't think "Jason". Jake says Sam isn't his type. Patrick asks who is. Both Patrick and Liz are staring at Jake, in what is the most uncomfortable scene I've watched in a while. Carly walks in, and finally someone looks happy to see her. Jake is like "Carly and I need to talk". Liz and Patrick go away, probably to mud wrestle over Jake. Carly and Jake plot how he's going to get in the mob. Billy Miller was actually great in this scene. So, Jake gets dressed in black tee and jeans. He's standing outside talking to his harem, when Spinelli sees him from behind and runs and hugs him. "Stone Cold!" But as he sees his face, he's like no. Jake is introduced to him and treats him like a special child. Spinelli says that Jake does resemble Jason. Carly gets Spinelli alone, and gets Spin gets Carly to admit that Jake does remind her a bit of Jason. Jake gets Sam to put in a word for her with Julian for a job. Patrick acts like a huffy douche after. Jake stays with Carly. While Carly is at work, the doorbell rings, it's Sonny. They don't know, but Sonny and Jason are reunited.

Agent Anna Devane:

Anna is searching Sloane's room. She has a search warrant for the room and the office. Sloane says he has nothing to hide. He drops his towel. Well, she doesn't find anything.

Shawn Is A Tattletale:

Shawn thinks Jordan is a cop. They argue about this because drug runner is the more noble profession. Shawn runs to Sonny and Duke and tattles that she may be working with Anna. As soon as Shawn leaves, they talk about killing her. Duke sees Jordan and says her assignment is to kill Julian. Carlos is lurking outside, as he and Julian have decided to kill Duke.

Georgie has the flu. She went to the ER. She's out now, but Spin and Maxie got close, while Nathan worked.

Michael hired Sabrina to be Baby AJ's nanny. Kiki showed up and flipped out. Micheal was like you can't sit with us.

Ric and Liz broke up. Liz wants Jake. All Jake wants is his memory and some money.

Oh.... Ava has lymphoma. There are no matches. But she refuses to let Avery get tested. She wants Silas to raise her. She's dying.

[Chairperson Meow]

Mon-Wed:

Jason & Sonny- Not a Love Story:

Sonny finds Jakeson at Carly's grey abode. He's not happy. Jake tries to be polite, but Sonny doesn't speak that. Blah blah blah I hate you. Jake is like I'm working for Julian. Carly gets back just as Sonny is yelling that Jake is working for his biggest enemy. Jake leaves. Carly is like we're friends. Sonny is still flipping out because Carly kissed Jake on NYE. Whatevs, Corinthos.

Metro Court:

Ric stops by for a drink after Liz dumps him at GH. (Yeah that happened. Feels for Jake. ) Carly is bartender and they argue. Carly throws Micheal kicking Ric's ass in court in Ric's face. Ric retorts with Carly being jealous of Liz over Jake Doe. (Drinking game every time Jake Doe is said.) Carly leaves or something. I forgot. But Ric drinks alone.

Maxie/Spinelli/Nathan Stuff:

Nathan tells Maxie he loves her. Maxie loves him, but is torn like Felicia was with Frisco and Mac. But um Mac and Frisco were both hot. Spinelli goes to the gym and confides in Sonny. He feels sad about his looks compared to Nathan's. Now I feel bad. Sonny tells him to challenge Nathan to a boxing match. He also tells Spinelli that he hates Jake Doe.

The (Non) Brain Trust :

Kiki and Morgan sit in their official brainy meeting place, Kelly's because everyone goes there, to scheme about Micheal. They talk about how the Quartermaines are addicts. Hypocrisy from the geniuses. Apparently, they plan to make Micheal look worse than AJ. Um, ok.... Big talk coming from Daddy Issues, Mommy Issues, and Bad Hair. The Duo.

Carlos News:

Carlos sees Sabrina. He says tell the truth if they ask if I said I killed Ava. My lawyer says it's hersay. Sabrina asks if he's going to go free. Carlos says probably. He warns her that her new job will make her Sonny's enemy, she so will his.

Anna stuff:

Duke tells Jordan she has to kill Julian. Nathan and Anna try to keep Jordan safe. Nathan gets Anna to admit that she only kept the mission going so long to hurt Duke. Anna emotionally agrees. But Jordan won't go into witness protection because she won't leave TJ.

Cassadine stuff:

Spencer is upset about his scars. He hasn't seen them. Cameron thinks he caused the fire. He tells Liz, who assures him it was an accident. She calls Nik, who acts like a douche. He tells Spencer who wants him arrested.

Coming up: Spinelli and Nathan box, Spencer throws a hissy, Jake is in that mob life, we learn more about Luke, Micheal and Morgan seem to fist fight, Kiki is still a bitch, and someone finally did Lulu and Maxie's roots!

Edited March 19, 2015 by Grrpants09

[UYI]

I have been on the barge, with exception of an occasional episode here and there, for over and year, maybe a year and a half now. But this anniversary episode has the power to bring me back for at least that one day, I will admit that. 

[Fylaki]

My first trip to the barge. Been with this show since I was a child on my grandmother's knee. Watched Mark Hamill when he was on here, went on the run with Luke and Laura, Spied with Robert and Holly. I cried over BJ and cheered when Luke and Laura jumped from the helicopter, got in the pink Cadillac and had the class and respect to make sure that Steve Hardy was the first person they saw when them came back to town. I put with a decade of mob wars and a couple of years now of Ron. But I can't any more

 

I am sorry and I am sorry if people do not like to hear it, but IMHO (Of which I am entitled) what Ron and Frank are doing with the young man who plays Spencer is wrong and creepy and would get any school teacher in America fired from his job. It is borderline criminally wrong, having him walk out with scantily clad women and be involved in adult story lines is abusive.

 

If the show lasts, till they tire of this child, and if they do not grab another one, be it Emma or Cam or a SOAR's Avery,  I am on the barge GH is no longer soap is it a creep show

Edited March 19, 2015 by Fylaki

[rur]

Fylaki, I just got back. I echo your sentiment about creep show. Different reasons that yours sent me back here, but I'll be here for a while. I'm ordering myself a couple of stiff drinks, and then I'm going to shoot some skeet while I'm imagining various characters' faces on the discs.

 

(I'm so glad they keep up our rooms, even when we're gone -- there was no musty smell when I unlocked the door of my stateroom today!) 

[Chairperson Meow]

I've been febreezing the rooms daily. It's hard to find good help.

[UYI]

I only drink red wine, so that'll be all the alcohol on the barge for me, and not often. Just give me a bunch of Iced Mocha Lattes from Dunkin' Donuts, and I'll get really hyper and perky and find some jump rope partners or something :) .

[33kaitykaity]

I'm almost a little scared that there are so many of us in here now.  I can only thank my lucky stars that I can listen to new baseball games at this time every day now.  Thanks for the recaps.  ;)  

[Fylaki]

I'm Albanian does the bar have Raki ?

[Chairperson Meow]

Um.... yes?

We still have recaps though. Forgive the Empire and Degrassi references. I'm contemplating a GH/Empire crossover fan fic.

[33kaitykaity]

Gosh, it's so lonely out here.  And nobody has recaps.  Wubs no, Soapzone no, here no.  Yeah, I'm having a pity party.  Lol.  

[Chairperson Meow]

Sorry. I've been marathoning Oz. Beecher and Keller might be the greatest star crossed love story ever told. I also had an important job interview today too. Here are briefings on what's happened lately:

Thursday -Monday (Lazy Recaps, As Though Brad Did Them)

House of Laundry and Anger:

Liz and Jake are so boringly mind numbingly happy they can be together. I'm like how can Ron ruin two very pretty people (one of whom is Billy Miller, a damned good actor), Ron responds with a fucking year of useless bullshit. And kills off AJ Quartermaine. Still bitter. Knock knock, who's there interrupting the boringness that is Liz and Jake? Rebecca Buding, AKA Greenlee from AMC. She's claiming she's Jake's wife from Gosh Golly Beecher Corners. (Side note..... Beecher has a town named after him! Aww!) Liz is bitchy. Jake is befuddled. I'm like zzzzzzz.

Two Dumb Kids:

Morgan and Kiki decide they simply must have Avery because when one is young and in um doing nothing well, eh get a baby. They decide to switch Micheal's allergy pills with something to make him look all drunk and stuff. Morgan steals pills from the ER while visiting Lucas at the ER because he loves his family. He goes to the Q mansion where Employee of the Month, Alice, lets him in. Morgan switches the pills and starts a fight with Michael. Before that Micheal asks "What if AJ killed Sonny? " Much like addition and subtraction, Morgan is baffled, so that's why they fight. The scene with Kiki and Morgan is probably the dumbest thing I've seen. They worry not about killing Micheal by drugging him, but Avery. And this is after the pills.

Sonny's Gym:

Nathan tells Spinelli to leave town. Instead, they box. Winner gets Maxie. Seems legit. Maxie walks in at the end and freaks out. Nathan dumps her. Dumb segment.

Ava and Silas:

Ava has one round of chemo. She hates vomiting, I guess. She begs Silas to kill her. Single tear drops down Micheal Easton's cheek.

Luke shit:

We meet Valerie Spencer, as Tracy and Lulu barge into her home. Typical PC greeting. Luke is there with a gun. Welcome to PC!

Julian touches Olivia's belly and it's weird.

[33kaitykaity]

Sorry. I've been marathoning Oz. Beecher and Keller might be the greatest star crossed love story ever told. I also had an important job interview today too. Here are briefings on what's happened lately:

Thursday -Monday (Lazy Recaps, As Though Brad Did Them)

House of Laundry and Anger:

Liz and Jake are so boringly mind numbingly happy they can be together. I'm like how can Ron ruin two very pretty people (one of whom is Billy Miller, a damned good actor), Ron responds with a fucking year of useless bullshit. And kills off AJ Quartermaine. Still bitter. Knock knock, who's there interrupting the boringness that is Liz and Jake? Rebecca Buding, AKA Greenlee from AMC. She's claiming she's Jake's wife from Gosh Golly Beecher Corners. (Side note..... Beecher has a town named after him! Aww!) Liz is bitchy. Jake is befuddled. I'm like zzzzzzz.

Two Dumb Kids:

Morgan and Kiki decide they simply must have Avery because when one is young and in um doing nothing well, eh get a baby. They decide to switch Micheal's allergy pills with something to make him look all drunk and stuff. Morgan steals pills from the ER while visiting Lucas at the ER because he loves his family. He goes to the Q mansion where Employee of the Month, Alice, lets him in. Morgan switches the pills and starts a fight with Michael. Before that Micheal asks "What if AJ killed Sonny? " Much like addition and subtraction, Morgan is baffled, so that's why they fight. The scene with Kiki and Morgan is probably the dumbest thing I've seen. They worry not about killing Micheal by drugging him, but Avery. And this is after the pills.

Sonny's Gym:

Nathan tells Spinelli to leave town. Instead, they box. Winner gets Maxie. Seems legit. Maxie walks in at the end and freaks out. Nathan dumps her. Dumb segment.

Ava and Silas:

Ava has one round of chemo. She hates vomiting, I guess. She begs Silas to kill her. Single tear drops down Micheal Easton's cheek.

Luke shit:

We meet Valerie Spencer, as Tracy and Lulu barge into her home. Typical PC greeting. Luke is there with a gun. Welcome to PC!

Julian touches Olivia's belly and it's weird.

I have so not missed anything I gave even a weak shit about.  

 

Love and hugs, babe.  

 

Sorry, yes, I am semi-curious about RB as Ric's stalking horse, except I hated Greenlee beyond words.  

 

And, yes, I still have a minor closet heart appreciation for BC as Morgan and his affection for an older woman, so I am sorry that I am missing his story with regard to Avery, but not enough to let myself watch until BM is motherfucking Jason.  

 

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.  

[Francie]

Ron Carlivati ‏@carlivatiron

Are you ready for five straight days of Anna & Duke? Their story continues today on @GeneralHospital! @finolahughes @KilttripUSA #GH

It may have been 5 straight days, but not a damn thing actually happened.  Their story didn't continue.  It stuttered, stalled, and stayed in neutral.

[Chairperson Meow]

I don't remember seeing Duke 5 days. Anna and Olivia had a lovely conversation about keeping your kids safe where Anna recalled having a daughter named Robin and said that she thinks Micheal is right. No one is actively seeking nor currently worried about Robin at this moment.

[BestestAuntEver]

It may have been 5 straight days, but not a damn thing actually happened. Their story didn't continue. It stuttered, stalled, and stayed in neutral.

False advertisement. Anna may have been on 5 days and the same for Duke but the story wasn't about "Anna and Duke" for 5 days.

He's just F'in with the audience. At times, he knows what the audience wants yet refuses to write a story with an actual POV for those characters. However, he has no problem pulling a bait and switch to get people to view.

[Francie]

I don't remember seeing Duke 5 days.

He probably was hiding under Sonny's bed one of those days. Did any strangers ring the doorbell or come into the house? If so, he wouldn't have come out until he was hungry.

[Chairperson Meow]

Anna mentioned Duke a couple of those days. We learned there's some tea money box that he's using for his mob funds.

*This is what happens when I recap while watching Oz and waiting to see who A is on Pretty Little Liars. Btw who the hell is Charles?

[SlovakPrincess]

Ha ha, I tried to get caught up on Pretty Little Liars last night after missing the last two seasons, and then just completely gave up when everyone was locked up in the "dollhouse."  I was like "this is so insane and convoluted with all these people being kidnapped and undead - what the hell is this, GH?!"

[Chairperson Meow]

Sadly, PLL has better sets, wardrobe, actors, and writing. On GH, the Dollhouse would be gray and one room with pictures of Nathan half naked while Sonny whisper screams about random things like AJ is fat, Micheal is the devil, Deke trapped him in a closet, he wants a kitten. Duke will sit there and drink tea. A will be Ava, but they'll think it's AJ's corpse because he was fat. Roger Howarth will bark and then do stuff.

[Chairperson Meow]

Quick & Dirty Recap/Rundown: You too will be caught up by Monday

-Luke holds Val hostage. He makes her gross eggs. But won't let her eat them. Nom.

-Patricia isn't dead. She's at some convalescent home. Bobbie & Tracy figure out that the cemetery Val said Pat was buried at is this home. Too bad Luke is there and with a gun. What a shitty healing home.

-Dante & Looloo go back to Val's because Dante is like "I didn't marry you for your brain." The cat is Luke. Duhhhh.

- Not Greenlee gets fake pics & stuff via Ric that are meant to prove her marriage to Jake. Carly is Yelly, Liz is boring as fuck, Literally best part is RB vs LW. And Billy Miller being hot.

-Franco is free due to good lawyering. Nina is free because Alexis likes to throw all non mob clients under the bus and see what happens.

-Franco and Nina bribe Olivia to get a suite at the MC

-Julian is like that's not mah baby

-Patrick wants Sam to move in

-Sam can't stop thinking about Jake

-Sloane knows Jordan is the informant. Duke knows Jordan wore a wire, but lies to Sonny.

Coming up: This week we finally learn why Luke. Jake has dreams about Sam.

[SlovakPrincess]

My annotations are below:

 

Quick & Dirty Recap/Rundown: You too will be caught up by Monday

-Luke holds Val hostage. He makes her gross eggs. But won't let her eat them. Nom.       Ew, gross, more evil old people holding young women hostage.  Nope, nope, nope.  

-Patricia isn't dead. She's at some convalescent home. Bobbie & Tracy figure out that the cemetery Val said Pat was buried at is this home. Too bad Luke is there and with a gun. What a shitty healing home.      Do not care about any of this Pat stuff.  Or any of the Fluke shit.  At all.

-Dante & Looloo go back to Val's because Dante is like "I didn't marry you for your brain." The cat is Luke. Duhhhh.   This ... confuses me. 

- Not Greenlee gets fake pics & stuff via Ric that are meant to prove her marriage to Jake. Carly is Yelly, Liz is boring as fuck, Literally best part is RB vs LW. And Billy Miller being hot.     Ric is such a pathetic moron.   As are Carly, Liz, Jake ... really everyone in this story.  Except the fake wife character, who I assume is at least getting paid for this shit by Ric.

-Franco is free due to good lawyering. Nina is free because Alexis likes to throw all non mob clients under the bus and see what happens.   Another reason for me to dislike Alexis.   And Scott (who I used to like), if he got Franco off.     

-Franco and Nina bribe Olivia to get a suite at the MC    Franco and Nina need to LEAVE OR DIE.  I will stop calling Olivia useless if she kills them and buries them under the hotel somehow.  

-Julian is like that's not mah baby   Could not care less about Julian.

-Patrick wants Sam to move in   Shut up, PodPatrick.   

-Sam can't stop thinking about Jake    OMG, this story is so lame.  

-Sloane knows Jordan is the informant. Duke knows Jordan wore a wire, but lies to Sonny.  Hmmm.  Dare I hope Duke is growing a heart again?   Watch Re-Ron have Duke 

die in Anna's arms again, as she weeps ... again ... but, eh, I guess I'll take that over Duke continuing to be an asshole for no reason - maybe he'll at least be redeemed at the end -- but I still hate you, writers for all the characters you've fucked up!

 

Coming up: This week we finally learn why Luke.  Stopped caring a year ago.   Jake has dreams about Sam.  OMG this story is so lame.

Edited March 30, 2015 by SlovakPrincess

[OnceSane]

Lulu and Tracy heard a noise at Valerie's apartment when they were there looking for Pat. Valerie said the noise was made by her cat when it was really Luke hanging out in the closet.

[Chairperson Meow]

Yeah, Looloo earned her right to be called Looloo for now because she was like "I know my dangerous dad is on the loose and all, but oh can I puhleese pet the cat?" Valerie's wtf face was beautiful like "Um, no I'm in danger. Please...... oh God. I'm so going to die. Dad's side of the family is better." Tracy was concerned about a litter box because I guess dealing with Luke teaches one to look for the shit in life.

[33kaitykaity]

I are lonely.  Smirnoff Blue with red Squirt, goes down like Kool-Aid.  Makes me all warm and huggable, even when this is my natural personality.  

 

http://www.funcatpictures.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/funny-cat-picture-nobody-appereciates.jpg

[Chairperson Meow]

Here's a quick & dirty rundown of last week.

Endgame Fluke:

After a lot of drama in a convalescent home with Pat, Bobbie, Lulu (who gets dumber daily), and Tracy, we move this to the intact Elm Street home. Because bombs don't really work. If that other one didn't kill Sonny...... So, Tim Spencer was a drunk, racist. He beat his family. Lena was braveandstrongandlovedwithherwholeheart. Luke killed his parents. Mom was accident. Pat and Bill Eckart hid Tim in the wall. Luke forgot. Pat sent her siblings to what she didn't know was a whore house. Luke did tell her. Valerie was the only one who was like da fuck? . Everyone makes up. Pat has MS and dies of heart failure because this show can't afford sets. Valerie cries I'm alone. Carly's like no you're not. Valerie sobs harder. Brilliant acting choice.

The Jason (Morgan Quartermaine ) Project :

Say you're a brain surgeon and your girlfriend keeps talking about the hot new amnesiac in town..post and pre sex..... and um she thinks about him when she sees her wedding ring.... well whatever do you do? Do you...... think hmmm omg I live in a town where my own wife came back from the dead, his body wasn't found.... do you call your ex who left to revive the dead husband your new lady is mourning or do you ask her and her kid to move in? Well, if you're Patrick Drake, you move her ass in! Duh! And make bitch faces with Liz cause like Ermergerd. So while Sam is waxing poetic about Jason and curious about Jake (yes the chemistry is strong af), Jake is having dreams about asking Sam to move in with him. He has his 1st day with - Ron plot point- his doesn't know it father in law Julian Sweater Man Jerome, and saves him from New Jasus Replacement, Shawn. (Didn't say improved. ) *side note it aired on the holiday of the Borg Church Shoot Out! Tee Hee!* Jake takes the goons gun and Jules gives him Johnny's garage with a promise to let him be a hitman. You go boy. Jake calls Sloane after and says he's in. Jake by himself sees a motorcycle and has a memory of riding with Sam. Well, guess who needs her car worked on? Samantha Morgan.

At Wyndemire, Spencer goes in the safe to get Britt's engagement ring to give to Emma. He finds Jason's wedding ring.

Other Stuff:

Franco & Nina blackmail themselves into a suite and other stuff at the Metro Court.

Carly freaks out. Ric tries, eh begs Liz to take him back. Hayden steps up her paid to play wife game with Jake. He doesn't remember her and won't sex her up till he does. Most of the week was Luke with Jason/Patrick /Sam thrown in.

Coming up:

Emma hurts Spencer. The ring will end up close to Sam.

[Chairperson Meow]

Tell it to Me Like I'm Chandler the Driver: Recaps for the Disenchanted and Ones Who Need to Stay Away Because Port Charles is Just Too Much:

Spencers-

Valerie ends up at GH (as we all do tbh). She's still very goregous. But the makeup artists on this show suck. I saw her website, and she's a million times prettier not on GH. But then again RoHo and ME actually have clean hair while they're off set. Shrug. Anyway, she cries to Dante. She has no one. She also wants to see Luke. No one will let her. Lulu and Luke talk about stuff. Like blah blah you're a great dad. Blah. There's a Lucky Spencer sized plot hole in this crap. Because Lucky might hit them both with a rock. And Jason finding Lucky banging his wife is a better story than Patrick Yawn Drake. Plus, rutting like farm animals. Tee. Hee. Anyway, Val gets in there alone because plot and has a small sword. She bought it from this lady named Quinn in LA. Luke is like "I know that woman. I stole her daughter's stock shares." "No you didn't. " TG really is high. Anyway, Luke begs Val to kill him and sticks his neck out, giving her instructions on how to literally get away with murder. Annaliese Keating is not amused. Dante and Lulu bust in because plot. Dante says what we're all thinking- Pat wouldn't want that, Luke is a coward to let Val take his life and live with that, and he needs to pay. He then comforts Val, while Lulu gets jealous. He asks Val to stay with them.

Corinthos /Quartermaine/Jerome Baby, Alcohol, Family, Stupidity, & Balance Drama:

Morgan & Keeks or Captain & Dummy are going through with (their name) Operation Alcoholic. They get a tabloid reporter to film Micheal acting very badly while drugged. First, Morgan leaks info Alice gave him about Luke stealing 32% of ELQ shares and giving it to the Cassadines. Micheal tells the reporter no comment. Sabrina and Baby with many names join him for lunch. He has one drink and his not allergy pills. Morgan & Kiki bait him at the MC by trying to see the baby and then acting like they're together. Michael argues with them, feeling out of it. He swings at Morgan and falls. Sabrina leaves with the baby. Sonny is in the lobby, trying to see the baby, but Sabrina tries to leave. Micheal comes in the lobby, confused and sees Sonny near the stroller "Get away from her!"he yells. Sonny and Sabrina try to calm Micheal down. He's out of it, emotional and confused. Micheal knocks the stroller down as the reporter films it. Sabrina checks the baby, she's fine. Michael and Sabrina get the driver to take them home as Sonny and Olivia worry about Micheal. The next day it airs on the tabloid show. Morgan and Sonny watch it together. Sonny is angry it was shown. Morgan wants to call CPS. Carly sees and is worried about Micheal. She rushes to Sonny's, worried about him. Morgan calls Jason a robot. Carly gets pissed and gets in Morgan's face. It's hilarious. Franco and Nina see it. Franco laughs, but Nina is worried. Ava sees it and freaks out. Kiki gets custody of the baby. First, the hospital must check her out. She's fine, but someone kidnaps her.

More Jason/Jake:

Jake gives Sam a ride to Patrick's on the motorcycle. He remembers riding on it with her. She remembers riding on it with Jason. But Jake does seem familiar. Meanwhile, Spencer tries to get Emma to commit to him. She won't, but he shows her the ring with Alan Quartermaine's name engraved in it. "Alan Quartermaine. I know him. He's my Mommy's friend Jason's dad. She told me all about him." Because Emma won't commit, Spencer throws the ring at her. It lands under the couch. It's still there.

Other stuff:

Nina and Silas apologize to each other. Nina encourages Nathan to go after Maxie. Kiki attacks Nina at GH. Franco blackmails ELQ shares from Ned, in exchange for leaving Olivia alone. Nik and Hayden have sex. Liz and Ric reunite. Carly gets Spinelli to investigate Hayden.

Coming up:

Jake helps Sam move into Patrick's.

[Francie]

I think I'm officially on the barge now (ok, whom am I kidding).  But I will say, when I now come to PTV, I'm not necessarily coming to post or read about GH.

 

That's a major change over the last 2 and 1/2 years. 

 

So close to kicking this habit altogether.

[Chairperson Meow]

I think I'm officially on the barge now (ok, whom am I kidding).  But I will say, when I now come to PTV, I'm not necessarily coming to post or read about GH.

 

That's a major change over the last 2 and 1/2 years. 

 

So close to kicking this habit altogether.

Just admit you come for my recaps. I'll do parody ones if you're good.

[SlovakPrincess]

I think I'm officially on the barge now (ok, whom am I kidding).  But I will say, when I now come to PTV, I'm not necessarily coming to post or read about GH.

 

That's a major change over the last 2 and 1/2 years. 

 

So close to kicking this habit altogether.

 

 

I really just wander into the GH forums to see if anyone wants to play in the History or 80s Viewing Party discussions ...  and to see if the forum titles have changed to something new and even funnier ... and to read Grrpants' recaps ...

[Francie]

Just admit you come for my recaps. I'll do parody ones if you're good.

I like parodies.  But will I be able to tell them apart from what Ron's been writing? I mean kiddie quads and pickle Lila? Those aren't parodies already?

 

Letting me know of Anna sightings would be most appreciated!

Edited April 21, 2015 by Francie

[dubbel zout]

Pickle Lila was a legit story back in the day; it's how the Qs supported themselves after Sean and Monica bankrupted them and Monica threw them all out of the Q mansion. And when Ron revived, it was initially pretty good, but of course then he had to ruin it by involving Franco and having the whole thing devolve into the worst camp.

[Francie]

Pickle Lila was a legit story back in the day; it's how the Qs supported themselves after Sean and Monica bankrupted them and Monica threw them all out of the Q mansion. And when Ron revived, it was initially pretty good, but of course then he had to ruin it by involving Franco and having the whole thing devolve into the worst camp.

 

I get that. Pickle Lila was a little tangent of a 12-week story.  I watched it.  The entire gag of the story was that the rich Quartermaines were fish out of water and had to live as common, working class folk, living above Kelly's diner.  Lila was the scrappy, plucky one who adjusted immediately.  Edward moaned and complained, and plotted his revenge.

 

The proceeds from the Pickle Lila sales allowed them to move to a 2-bedroom apartment.  It didn't restore their wealth.  Edward got Sean to give it back by setting up Sean for Alan's (faked) murder. 

 

It was an appropriate amount of comic relief.  And then Ron wagged the dog and made the comic relief aspect the heart of his seemingly never-ending story. It was endless gag after gag after gag with a scene with sentimental dialogue thrown in.  And that they would expect Jane Elliot to pull it off. And she would.

Edited April 21, 2015 by Francie

[SlovakPrincess]

Hey don't spoil the original pickle relish story for me - I haven't gotten to the mid 80s yet. ;)

I kid, obviously.

[SlovakPrincess]

It's even more smug coming from Ron than Aaron Sorkin.  Sorkin, at least, generally is the one who has been in charge of his shows and characters all along.  Ron is coming into a 50 year old show and deciding that he knows all these characters better than anyone, and he, and he alone, can determine what is and is not in character for all of them. 

 

 

Exactly!   Part of the reason I get infuriated about what Ron has done to the show and characters is the fact that he is a relative newcomer to this show, he obviously doesn't understand the characters or what made them great before he came aboard, and it really pisses me off. 

 

It's not even in the service of good drama - for NOBODY to cause some conflict on Robin's behalf?  No, we have boring scene after scene of everyone validating Patrick moving on with Sam and shrugging their shoulders - when the good drama (or even any actual drama) would be for Anna or Mac or really any one person to make a big stink about where is Robin.  Or, I don't know, write a decent story that doesn't make Robin a perpetual victim of heinous acts and Patrick look ridiculous.     

 

And Duke suddenly being a-ok with just offing people and fucking up his relationship with Anna?  Um, why do we need that when we've already seen that for decade from Sonny?  

 

Carly sleeps with the guy who facilitated her son's rape?   Please - I can't stand her, but I don't believe for a second she'd do that.  I'm not even sure I buy that she would sex up Sonny after learning he killed AJ.  Sure, I think Carly would have been super turned on by Sonny cheating AJ out of money or embarrassing him (yet again), but as much as I hate Carly, she was never quite this much of an inhumane monster.  She was willing to completely screw over Jax, but she was angry when she thought Sonny killed him.  

 

Luke has had a psychotic alter-ego for years now?  Right, ok.  

 

And Nik is now not just weak but completely immoral?  

 

Ron has ruined characters that existed before he was a glimmer in GH's eye ... and for no good dramatic purpose whatsoever.  Such a terrible waste of what was once a really entertaining show.

[sunnyface]

Ron has ruined characters that existed before he was a glimmer in GH's eye.

 

 

And he doesn't care.

[Jenniferbug]

I think I'm on the barge now too. I started working from home 4 days a week about 3 weeks ago. At first, I was excited that I'd be able to time my lunch so I could watch 30 minutes of GH (we don't have DVR). But...even though I turn the show on, I find I don't pay any attention to it. It's almost always characters I don't care about (or actively dislike), and even when a character I do like is featured it seems to be in a story I dislike (ex- Dante today with Olivia's pregnancy drama). Maybe I'll start using those 30 minutes to watch GH from the 80s...

[Tiger]

I think I'm on the barge now too. I started working from home 4 days a week about 3 weeks ago. At first, I was excited that I'd be able toil ime my lunch so I could watch 30 minutes of GH (we don't have DVR). But...even though I turn the show on, I find I don't pay any attention to it. It's almost always characters I don't care about (or actively dislike), and even when a character I do like is featured it seems to be in a story I dislike (ex- Dante today with Olivia's pregnancy drama). Maybe I'll start using those 30 minutes to watch GH from the 80s...

I have a tv in my office and have been taking my lunch at 3 to watch GH live. But after seven and a half years I am leaving my job and starting a new one Monday, and I won't be able to do that anymore. I'm hoping that having to dvr it and watch at night will finally break the habit.

Edited April 30, 2015 by Tiger

[Jenniferbug]

Flipping channels during lunch today and paused on GH. For which I was rewarded with Spencer. That sent me scurrying back to the barge in a hurry!

[annabel]

Two weeks ago tomorrow I deleted the season pass, it was Franco blackmailing Ned for his ELQ shares and Ned GIVING THEM TO HIM which finally sent me over the edge. Olivia is so so so so so so so not worth it. So far I have not read anything in the episode thread that made me think "wow, I really wish I had seen that." And with the news that Britt is back and referring to Faison as "daddy" and hanging with Dr. O and Spencer, well let's say I'll not be going back anytime soon.