S01.E03: MAFS: Happily Ever After?

[Yeah No]

4 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

I also wonder what's up with this 'we need more room/storage' etc. for one kid. People used to raise large families in small houses all the time, but these two have a 3 BR home & can't squeeze one little kiddo in there, at least for a while to save some money?  Geesh.  Gotta use that reality cash quickly I guess.

Maybe it's because a lot of houses in Texas, including probably Bobby's, don't have basements and Danielle may have grown up with more storage in a basement.

Then again, they could always buy a shed!

[Ilovepie]

On 11/14/2018 at 11:53 AM, zoltana said:

This!!  I've got my own and I've taught from kindergarten through 8th.  You will love them beyond anything and most of the time you can be patient when you remember they're always learning, but there are times when they will try your patience like crazy and they will do it on purpose sometimes to push your buttons.  She will find herself screaming at a child more than she ever has at another adult and I think it will surprise her, but her personality comes across as she'll justify it because she's always right.  I can see a mini Ashley in the making like one of those pageant kids.  Good grief, I just had a pic of mom and mini-me ganging up against dad and him stopping off at bars under the guise of working late just so someone will validate him.  Hopefully this will not be the case.

I think her need to always be in control will be severely tested by the baby - the main thing that I have learned from my kids is that you can't actually control them; ultimately in this world the only person you can control is yourself. With kids, you can encourage the behavior you want through teaching them, reward/punishment, and setting an example, but at the end of the day, there will be times when they just don't go the way you want. I think she is going to melt down when her little mini-me doesn't behave exactly the way she wants, and God help her if this one is very strong willed - she will lose her mind trying to control this kid!

[lazylou]

22 hours ago, endure said:

You are right about the commute but in their reasons for moving that wasn’t actually mentioned as one if the priorities.

I suspect that was the show runner trying to make Danielle seem unreasonable.  She has not ruled out going back to work after th baby is born and she always said he she did not see herself as a stay at home mom.

[lazylou]

Jephte and Shawniece have no experience of a functional nuclear family.  Jephte was wrong to cheat on Shawniece, for sure, but their relationship has always been ... strained.  Sometimes they really seem to care about each other...others it seems More like Sadie chasing Lil Abner. 

[humbleopinion]

Got into my Way Back Time Machine to appreciate the Li'l Abner reference.

Here is an article about Sadie and Abner for those who don't remember them in the funny papers....

https://womenyoushouldknow.net/ugly-truth-behind-sadie-hawkins-day/

[scoopski potata]

I decided to go back and rewatch some of the older seasons today and I started with Boston/Jephte and Shawniece. Wow. He really was never that into her. My husband and I were talking and think that because his dad skipped out, he feels a kind of duty to stick around for his kid in the way his father didn’t. But dude. You can be there for the kid and even support the mother without actually still being married to her. In some cases, it’s better honestly...there’s no way you guys are modeling a functional relationship for that child! It’s always been...ok at best. Children don’t exactly add less stress!

[JapMo]

21 hours ago, scoopski potata said:

I decided to go back and rewatch some of the older seasons today and I started with Boston/Jephte and Shawniece. Wow. He really was never that into her. My husband and I were talking and think that because his dad skipped out, he feels a kind of duty to stick around for his kid in the way his father didn’t. But dude. You can be there for the kid and even support the mother without actually still being married to her. In some cases, it’s better honestly...there’s no way you guys are modeling a functional relationship for that child! It’s always been...ok at best. Children don’t exactly add less stress!

Jephte just couldn't stand all the crying and drama from Shawniece.  I couldn't either!  Man, the girl can turn on the waterworks.  I knew back then they weren't suited for each other, and really expected them to not stay together.  Totally surprised that they did.  Jephte can say whatever he wants about how he's changed and wants to make a go of the marriage, but he's no more attracted to Shawniece now than he was back then.  

[Crazy Bird Lady]

On 11/14/2018 at 9:04 PM, endure said:

You are right about the commute but in their reasons for moving that wasn’t actually mentioned as one if the priorities.

Actually, it was mentioned as a high priority (by Danielle) -she listed "location" 2nd in Pastor Cal's little card game. Right after "Style," if I recall correctly. 

On 11/15/2018 at 7:24 PM, lazylou said:

I suspect that was the show runner trying to make Danielle seem unreasonable.  She has not ruled out going back to work after the baby is born and she always said he she did not see herself as a stay at home mom.

Danielle may be undecided between going back to her job after maternity leave ends, or waiting until the baby is weaned, or potty-trained, --or something of that sort-- and then returning to her career. But being a "working mom" has always been Danielle's intention, and Bobby knows that. (His family clearly disapproves of working moms, but it's not up to them.)       

Edited November 17, 2018 by Crazy Bird Lady

[qtpye]

54 minutes ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

Actually, it was mentioned as a high priority (by Danielle) -she listed "location" 2nd in Pastor Cal's little card game. Right after "Style," if I recall correctly. 

Danielle may be undecided between going back to her job after maternity leave ends, or waiting until the baby is weaned, or potty-trained, --or something of that sort-- and then returning to her career. But being a "working mom" has always been Danielle's intention, and Bobby knows that. (His family hates the idea, but it's not up to them.)       

Again, I feel like the whole storyline between Danielle and  Bobby is totally fake because they get along well and have no drama. I bet you his family really does not care that much about the sahm situation.  I remember Bobby being quite proud that Danielle made more money and was more established in her career than he was. They are too well adjusted to become reality tv fame whores so they will probably also need that income in the future. As I said the drama between them seems manufactured and I can see her doing some producer driven grand gesture for him in the last episode sort of like when she said I love finally on decision day.

 

13 hours ago, JapMo said:

Jephte just couldn't stand all the crying and drama from Shawniece.  I couldn't either!  Man, the girl can turn on the waterworks.  I knew back then they weren't suited for each other, and really expected them to not stay together.  Totally surprised that they did.  Jephte can say whatever he wants about how he's changed and wants to make a go of the marriage, but he's no more attracted to Shawniece now than he was back then.  

I think he has some sort of sister like affection for her and hope that would grow into romantic feelings. Perhaps the cheating was his I’ll advised passive aggressive way of having her end the relationship?

[endure]

10 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

Actually, it was mentioned as a high priority (by Danielle) -she listed "location" 2nd in Pastor Cal's little card game. Right after "Style," if I recall correctly. 

Danielle may be undecided between going back to her job after maternity leave ends, or waiting until the baby is weaned, or potty-trained, --or something of that sort-- and then returning to her career. But being a "working mom" has always been Danielle's intention, and Bobby knows that. (His family clearly disapproves of working moms, but it's not up to them.)       

I understood that priority was location in regard to schools nothing to do with her commute.

[JAndy]

13 hours ago, endure said:

I understood that priority was location in regard to schools nothing to do with her commute.

That’s what I thought as well. 

[Crazy Bird Lady]

On 11/17/2018 at 6:12 PM, endure said:

I understood that priority was location in regard to schools nothing to do with her commute.

Danielle certainly talked about proximity to schools --and that's the *only* proximity she mentioned when they were having dinner with Bobby's family. But that's not the only time proximity was discussed. 

10 hours ago, JAndy said:

That’s what I thought as well. 

When they were house-hunting and Danielle didn't like the house Bobby preferred, she used the excuse that it was important to be in a good school district.

But while she and Bobby were "alone" [with the cameras, etc. in the background, of course] doing Pastor Cal's "Communication Card Game," Danielle listed "location" as her 2nd priority. Bobby asked why, and the first thing Danielle said was that it would be a shorter "commute". Then Bobby said something like, "but the baby..." and Danielle acknowledged it was an issue. I think Danielle was being more honest at that point. Yes, I'm sure she's concerned about good schools (because they might still be living in the same house by then)- but she really wants to shorten her commute.  

That said-- I think Bobby's family is right. It would be smarter to wait a couple of years, and then sell. (At that point, good schools would be a more urgent concern.)  

Edited November 19, 2018 by Crazy Bird Lady

[ChiCricket]

On 11/15/2018 at 8:55 PM, humbleopinion said:

Got into my Way Back Time Machine to appreciate the Li'l Abner reference.

Here is an article about Sadie and Abner for those who don't remember them in the funny papers....

https://womenyoushouldknow.net/ugly-truth-behind-sadie-hawkins-day/

I had forgotten what a cutie Sadie Hawkins was. 😨

[humbleopinion]

Sadie would be attractive enough after 6 months with some Invisalign teeth straighteners.....

[LuvMyShows]

Really, Jephte?  No present for your wife on your 1-year anniversary, when you're already in the doghouse?!?  Then that lame white lie about having already ordered a present?  What a world-class schmuck!  

I think it may have been the previous episode, but good Lord Danielle is already spending them into the poorhouse with the number of clothes she has already bought for their daughter.  Plus you know she's going to spend a sh*tload on the nursery, as well as replacing all the furniture that she has deemed unacceptable for the new house.  And now we finally know why she wants to move...she needs a pantry!!  Bobby needs to just say no, seriously.  He needs to show her their finances, and show the specific effect of all the spending that she is planning.  Then he needs to explain about deferred gratification, and tell her that in order to afford the move, they will be keeping all the furniture for now, and can make a plan for gradual replacement.  And he needs to plan out the nursery and baby purchases, within the context of a budget.  I am seriously worried about this new family if he doesn't grow a set of balls...and I'm not buying the doggy dental put-his-foot-down thing...I think it was staged.

[love2lovebadtv]

On 11/16/2018 at 9:09 PM, JapMo said:

Jephte just couldn't stand all the crying and drama from Shawniece.  I couldn't either!  Man, the girl can turn on the waterworks.  I knew back then they weren't suited for each other, and really expected them to not stay together.  Totally surprised that they did.  Jephte can say whatever he wants about how he's changed and wants to make a go of the marriage, but he's no more attracted to Shawniece now than he was back then.  

Shawniece does cry a lot. But I'm not so sure her crying turned him off. I thought it was more like she cried when he showed his lack of interest. 

[So Obvious]

On 11/13/2018 at 8:28 PM, LilaFowler said:

I see no difference between Ashley and Danielle. Both are extremely selfish and have to get their way all the time. Ashley telling Anthony the baby's gender like that was practically pathological. She's terrible. Like Bobby, Anthony buries it all. We saw him blow up at Ashley on their MAFS season. Ugh, I dislike her so much. I see why she needed to go on the show to find a husband. Most men wouldn't put up with her shit.

I agree. Ashley giving away the gender was disgusting. She was so incredibly selfish. You don't do that to someone you love! You may really wish you could, but common sense and love should say no, that's not acceptable. He wants to wait. And I love him so I will respect that. She didn't wrestle with her decision, hesitate or feel guilty about it at all! She felt as if she was in the right and that's all that mattered, screw what her husband wanted. Even when he was clearly upset her face was blank. No remorse. She didn't care that she hurt him.The fact that she thought that was okay is scary and pathological.

[So Obvious]

One day Bobby is just going to walk out on Danielle. She makes my skin crawl by how incredibly self centered and selfish she is. She isn't ignorant she could obviously tell Bobby was not happy about giving up all his items and yet she didn't care. She dismissed all of his feelings as if they meant nothing. That is not love. I just can't believe her (and Ashley). You shouldn't even have to think twice about considering your husband's feelings. These girls just make me sick. They need to learn what love means. They need to learn how not to be so incredibly selfish and self centered. I just can't wrap my mind around their behavior and how they treat their husbands. Maybe Bobby and Anthony should separate from Ashley and Danielle. Give them a nice a wake-up call until they learn how to be selfless. Until they learn what love really means. They need to learn how to respect, cherish, appreciate, and genuinely love their husbands. In the long run, their poor daughters will also be the ones to suffer because of their mother's behavior. 

[JAndy]

4 hours ago, So Obvious said:

I agree. Ashley giving away the gender was disgusting. She was so incredibly selfish. You don't do that to someone you love! You may really wish you could, but common sense and love should say no, that's not acceptable. He wants to wait. And I love him so I will respect that. She didn't wrestle with her decision, hesitate or feel guilty about it at all! She felt as if she was in the right and that's all that mattered, screw what her husband wanted. Even when he was clearly upset her face was blank. No remorse. She didn't care that she hurt him.The fact that she thought that was okay is scary and pathological.

I feel like that scene was edited weird. In the last episode, they showed it differently in a flashback. Or at least differently than I remember. He was like “ah knew it was a girl!” And didn’t seem as angry. But the editing is always a bit off in these shows so who knows.