S07.E24: Back to Square One

[Rebecca]

On 11/8/2018 at 2:46 PM, heatherchandler said:

(sorry, pit-churs) 

Lol. I’m from the Midwest and that always makes me cringe.

19 hours ago, knitta please said:

Jen and Larry make me absolutely sick to my stomach. They want to tell Bentley the entire truth and nothing but the truth without ever having broached the subject with his full time parent? That in and of itself could be quite damaging to a kid his age. Sure, don't hide what it is going on, but they are not his parent figures. They could very well be working to fuck him up, and I don't feel that they're bastions on raising a gerbil, much less a human being given the shit show that Ryan has proven to be. 

Someone needs to inform them that they aren't Bentley's parents; they need to respect Maci's parenting decisions unless Bentley's well being comes into question; and constantly undermining them on film can cost them any access at all should his mother choose to end those rights.

I guess not being on TM wasn't really an all or nothing thing now for Mac Truck now that the baby daddy is back in rehab with a "slip up", or as the rest of us in the real world call it, "full blown heroin addiction".  I know enough about people like them, and that scene with the three of them sitting in chairs, commiserating about Bentley's awful mother Maci for hours on end is a next to daily occurrence. They're all in denial and Ryan stands absolutely zero chance. Get Candy Finnegan or Jeff Vanvonderen in there to fix that shitshow up. Send them all off to Betty Ford clinics so they can learn how much they are all directly contributing to their loved one's disease.

Amber. GTFOH. I miscarried and if anyone I ever disclosed that to responded the way you did I would have walked you right out my front door, down the walk, and directly into traffic. Because, fuck you.

Cate and Tyler...JFC. I actually hope that B&T change their numbers and choose to send pictures via email intermittently for your own mental health and well being. I mean, that's mean, but it has been 9 years. They are not her parents, never have been. I know that sounds callous, but I can't imagine getting demanding messages like that after the bullshit they've pulled and caused directly and indirectly.

Bristol. DGAF because you're on a show for cash and putting your family at risk of a stalker. Ever hear about laying low and getting a job? She's not a stranger to plastic surgery, maybe change your face so that your jawline doesn't look like a shark gnawed on it and change your name. 

Cheyenne. Oh, lady. She is doing great as far as having a loving father for her daughter. I watch The Challenge. I feel like not enough time has passed between filming the series where they fell "in love" and had a kid, broke up, she fell in love again with a baby, and moved a fully grown man into her home. Shit, I waited 2 years myself and I didn't have a kid with someone else. She's young and I feel like they're all going to be okay. Bank that MTV money and get a job.

You went hard and I’m here for it!!!!! Especially the part about Jen and Larry. And they’re not even telling the whole truth, guaranteed. Also, Cheyenne and Cory were never together, they just hooked up according them.

Edited November 9, 2018 by Rebecca

[athousandclowns]

On November 7, 2018 at 2:25 PM, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

My MIL had an ectopic pregnancy decades ago.  It ruptured, she hemorrhaged, and it nearly killed her.  She had to have emergency surgery; she really thought her she'd die & leave her kids without a mother.  It was absolutely a trauma & iss still painful for her to talk about decades later. 

Poor Kristina.  She was probably not only worried about losing the pregnancy & the physical pain, but also about leaving the three girls motherless.   

I too had what turned out to be a tubal pregnacy 3 + decades ago. I had positive pregnacy test and had a blood disorder where I would most likely miscarry in first months.  My GP sent me to a OBGYN to schedule D&C . The  weekend before seeing this new doctor I had buckle over pain numerous times and spotting.   During his internal physical exam he felt something odd on one side. ( I swear he had his arm up to his elbow up my woo ha)  He had his partner come in and also do an exam on me too.!   They told me to get dressed and they would schedule D&C with hospital.   Luckily the nurse was still in exam room with me because as I sat up from table I started to go into shock. Blood pressure dropped. The doctor had nurse drive me to hospital with declined car seat and  I went directly into surgery that required 2 units of blood I lost.  I was alone and terrified someone called my husband but didn't make it till over.  I happen to work  in that hospital so was treated so very kindly.  Don't know how the law is now but you couldn't be "sterilized" ( tubes tied) within 24 hours of such an emergency. The doctor  was furious when he was refused authorization ( after all this was a 5th pregnacy with 2 living children and a blood disorder ) so he very was smart he took tube out that was burst and ovary on other side out so he managed to work around that hospital law.  My new 2nd husband , like Gary would have liked to have a child.  So yeah as soon as Amber went into I had miscarriage too,  I wanted to reach into the set and strike her upside her head. Hell now I sound like her.  I stopped watching when Palin joined so don't know why I tuned in for this one. 

[4Sibes Redux]

On 11/8/2018 at 2:32 PM, Rebecca said:

scholarships are a pretty normal thing for many rehabs to offer.

I figured it was. I haven’t thoroughly  googled it, but I’d imagine rehab is the only medical treatment that calls a reduced cost a *scholarship.* A casual googling showed me that a “chemotherapy scholarship” is an education scholarship given to people and their children who need financial aid at school. 

 

I always assumed that C&T (et al) hooked onto the term *scholarship* because that might think of rehab as an education facility as well as healthcare. (I’m probably overreaching, but that happens when you have a degree in linguistics.)

 

Of course Ryan on OG *graduated early* from rehab. So, shrug. 

Edited November 11, 2018 by 4Sibes Redux

[monicageller]

14 hours ago, 4Sibes Redux said:

I figured it was. I haven’t thoroughly  googled it, but I’d imagine rehab is the only medical treatment that calls a reduced cost a *scholarship.* A casual googling showed me that a “chemotherapy scholarship” is an education scholarship given to people and their children who need financial aid at school. 

 

I always assumed that C&T (et al) hooked onto the term *scholarship* because that might think of rehab as an education facility as well as healthcare. (I’m probably overreaching, but that happens when you have a degree in linguistics.)

 

Of course Ryan on OG *graduated early* from rehab. So, shrug. 

High five, degree twin! It frustrates me when these people use words that have no relevance to what they're talking about. Your theory sounds accurate to me. I remember Cate and Tyler were planning on going to college, so my guess is that they feel guilty/ashamed about not living up to their promises, so they apply 'academic' language to their rehab/spa stays to make themselves feel more accomplished than they are.

[ginger90]

There are actually scholarships and grants for drug, and mental health treatments. 

[4Sibes Redux]

6 hours ago, ginger90 said:

There are actually scholarships and grants for drug, and mental health treatments. 

I am not surprised and there should be. But as a linguist, I find the use of the term “scholarship” interesting. 

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

On 11/9/2018 at 1:11 PM, kicksave said:

After watching another episode where Cate and Tyler are fixated on Carly and basically harassing the adoptive parents about seeing her, I am convinced that these open adoptions are problematic. If I was adopting a child, no way would I want an open adoption after seeing how these two continue try to exert control over Carly and badger this couple for visitation. If they cared about Carly they would allow her to live her life and for her adoptive parents to raise her their way. Cate was bordering on stalking with non stop text messages and nagging. I'm sure Teresa and Brandon are full of regret for agreeing to this arrangement. When she's 18 she can decide whether she wants to see or know her bio parents...its only nine years away. Leave them alone Cate and pay more attention to the child you have and the child that's on the way.

This show has done so much to paint open adoption in a bad light.  Before the show, I thought really positively of open adoption (although I thought "open adoption" meant it was a one-sided deal where the adoptive parents sent pictures/updates a few times a year & that was it).  Now, I have a really negative impression of open adoptions (for the birth parents & the adoptive parents).  C&T, Dawn, & Bethany have pretty much achieved the opposite of what they were intending here as far as promoting open adoption as such a wonderful (and simplistic) choice.  

On 11/8/2018 at 7:59 PM, knitta please said:

Bristol. DGAF because you're on a show for cash and putting your family at risk of a stalker. Ever hear about laying low and getting a job? 

Exactly this. She'd rather have the TM money and "fame" than get a real job, so here she is exposing herself, her kids, & her home to the stalker through his TV. 

Edited November 12, 2018 by MyPeopleAreNordic

[IvySpice]

Bristol has 99 reasons why she should get a job and get her kids off TV, but IMHO the stalker ain't one. A stalker can get obsessed with anyone. Stalkers have no trouble finding home addresses, etc. whether they have the chance to use a reality show as a tool or not. It's up to the stalkee to decide whether they want to alter their plans/lifestyle to avoid the stalker. For better or for worse, MTV is a financial opportunity for Bristol, and she shouldn't have to give that up because some asshole is stalking her.

Don't get me wrong, she should totally give the show up because her kids should never have to see their parents' divorce in painstaking detail, and for 98 other reasons. Just not because of the stalker.

[Talky Tina]

On 11/6/2018 at 7:38 PM, jumper sage said:

I too think Cate and Tyler should no longer say their names.  I get that giving a child up for adoption is traumatizing and it does give more information about the subject.  I like that Tyler came to terms with their loss of control.  If I had to guess I would probably say that their first child might be talking about them.  She looks exactly like Tyler.  My brother's first child was taken on the run by her mother.  The mother came back 16 years later and brought his daughter to him.  She looks exactly like our grandmother, it is uncanny.  She will still break down, at the age of 30, when she sees a family member that she "sees herself in".  This upsets her mother and her mother's family.  I wish I could tell Cate and Tyler, I live very close to them, that if they can hold on until she is 18 they can contact her and share in her life IF she wants to.  They need to do as my brother did and, while it is very hurtful, to take time to save money, get a good career and prepare for her return.

Ryan's parents are really not seeing what is going on and Mac was crazy for getting pregnant.  

Prepare for her return?  I don't think Carly will show up on their doorstep when she's 18 with her suitcase.  I doubt if she'll "return" to them. Especially if she catches a few episodes of the show. 

[ssj]

On 11/7/2018 at 3:51 PM, eskimo said:

Kristina said she had a miscarriage, but described an ectopic pregnancy.  A fetus that implants in a fallopian tube will absolutely not survive, as well as endanger the mothers life, and action needs to be taken asap and often at a point when the fetus would be healthy if implanted in the womb.  It's important to not let it grow even a little bigger.  For that reason I'd bet that many women who have to deal with an ectopic pregnancy feel as though they terminated the pregnancy when they didn't necessarily want to.  I think that adds another layer of pain for certain women.  I'm not being dismissive of the pain of a miscarriage, I had one myself before my first child was born, but I would expect it's a somewhat different experience. 

i think she tried to say ectopic but called it emtopic or something like that.....

[PortaBella]

Stating the ridiculously obvious here, but one 5 minute event happens in each of these peoples’ lives per episode and then.....cue the lawn chairs, the sofa complete with the requisite blankets, the kitchen chairs, the bed, riding in the car for a change of pace, and then it’s nonstop blather while they all sit like lumps with no expression and monotone replies about that five minute event and that’s ALL of the show. One of Maci’s kids was actually standing upright in a scene and I thought I had the wrong damn show for a minute. 

[Emmierose]

Catelynn bellowing at Nova in the bathtub is rich. Yelling at the small child in front of you because you’re being held up from having a pretend party for the child you gave up for adoption NINE years ago is completely twisted. Mother of the year right there.

A million thanks to Kristina for saying uterus and not womb when describing your ectopic pregnancy. 

Edited November 13, 2018 by Emmierose

[jumper sage]

On 11/12/2018 at 8:12 PM, Talky Tina said:

Prepare for her return?  I don't think Carly will show up on their doorstep when she's 18 with her suitcase.  I doubt if she'll "return" to them. Especially if she catches a few episodes of the show. 

I wouldn't be so sure.  The genetic tug is very strong.

[NannyBails]

19 hours ago, jumper sage said:

I wouldn't be so sure.  The genetic tug is very strong.

I could see Carly wanting to know C&T but I'm not sure I could see her packing up and moving in.     

[jumper sage]

16 hours ago, NannyBails said:

I could see Carly wanting to know C&T but I'm not sure I could see her packing up and moving in.     

I never said she would.  I said she will probably contact them or receive contact from them.

[NannyBails]

1 hour ago, jumper sage said:

I never said she would.  I said she will probably contact them or receive contact from them.

Sorry, I didn't mean to imply that YOU said that.  I'm thinking of what C&T think and what many of their followers think and your comment about the genetic pull made me think of them.  Should have been a bit more clear in my comment so it didn't look like I was disputing you.

[hoosiermommy]

Quote

 

 

On 11/7/2018 at 4:15 PM, WhosThatGirl said:

I mean.. I know nothing of any adoptions but I’m curious about how long do open adoptions stay open?

I mean obviously this situation is a different experience all within itself anyway regarding adoption, because even an open adoption isn’t as open as this situation is. This is super open what with it being followed and looked at for nine years and plus so I’m sure that makes it  it different and changes the circumstances.

And like I said.. I know nothing but is there a time frame normally? I mean sadly, everyone is correct that Brandon and Theresa will never be able to close it now. Or at least not until the series if officially over and even then they will have to wait it out until the superfans die down. 

Technically, a truly open adoption can never really be closed. Though most people equate “open adoption” with visits or contact, the true definition is that both parties share identifying information with each other. An adoption can be open without any contact if the birth parents know the full names (first and last) of the adopting parents and how to get in touch with them and vice versa.  

Open adoptions have been found to be more beneficial than semi-open (intermediaries like an agency know how to get in touch with the other party) or closed (no identifying information). However, the key to any adoption with contact are boundaries...which Cate blows right through.

—Mom in a happy and healthy open adoption