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Semi-Ho Glossary

Ubiquitous

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Ubiquitous

Ubiquitous

Some terms bandies about here for the unitiated:

 

  • SLop: Sandra Lee, ol' pudding-cups. Named for her boobs and propensity to use pudding cups in her recipes.
  • The Ladder: Her current beau, Mario Cuomo
  • The Wallet: Her ex husband who bought her this show.
  • Pudding cups: Sandra's large droppy tits
  • Milli Vanilli Hands, MV hands: Food stylist doing the actual work for Sandra so the food looks semi-edible
  • Juice: the fluid in canned goods, i.e. "bean juice", "chicken juice", "pear juice", etc.
  • Set up: The process by whch Sandra leaves a food product off to the side to magically finish off the cooking process itself, ie, "the MV switcharoo"
  • Shrike: Sandra Lee detractor
  • Tablescape: The crap you put on a table for decoration and maybe still have room for the food, maybe.
  • Melon baler: a kitchen utensil used for small scoops that hibernates in winter

.

 

I am sure there are others I missed.

vera charles

vera charles

Seize: the opposite of "set up". Any food product that has achieved whatever state is supposed to have achieved is said to have "set up". Cream that whips, pudding that congeals: it "set up". Anything that doesn't do what it is supposed to is said to have "seized". Pudding watery? Chocolate scorched in the microwave? Just say it "seized".

 

•The Ladder: Her current beau, Mario Cuomo

Actually, it's Mario's son Andrew Cuomo, current governor of NY. His three daughters are Sandy's "stepladders".

ragstoriches

ragstoriches

Vinegar-ette:  Vinaigrette (Thanks to a mention in her book, I finally remembered the word!)

 

Rock Star:  A description SLop uses to praise something (specifically, her nasty concoctions) highly.

 

"I love you, Danielle!":  Something SLop screeched when she and her niece Danielle were on a roller coaster and apparently thought they were going to die or something, I think.

ragstoriches

ragstoriches

(edited)

Fandra:  Looooooooves Aunt Sandy and her russipees, and not for snarking purposes.  Polar opposite of a Shrike.  Truly loves the slop...and the SLop.

Russipee:  Recipe.

Pantry (standard definition):  A room or closet-like space where non-perishables are stored.  Food must be purchased beforehand.  (According to the early Semi-Ho episodes, Sandy enters her house through one).

Pantry (Semi-Ho definition):  A room or closet-like space where free food magically appears, which can then be used in Semi-Ho russipees.  Saves one from having to go to his or her regular groshry store to get food.

Edited by ragstoriches
ragstoriches

ragstoriches

(edited)

Fiend herbs:  Fines herbs

Herbes de provence:  Herbs which magically transform any old ordinary dish into French cuisine.

Porcine bloomin' onion:  Sandy's Honey Bourbon Ham, in which the finished product looks like a weird bloomin' onion.  (Also sometimes known as Honey Vermin Ham.)

Kakes of Kultural Insensitivity:  Sandy's Hanukkah and Kwanzaa Kakes, which have to be seen to be believed.

Edited by ragstoriches
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ragstoriches

ragstoriches

(edited)

Attention to detail:  Advice SLop likes to dish out to her audience, but doesn't often follow herself.

Gernish:  Anything SLop likes to use to make her cocktails look fancier.  Typically consist of wedges of fruit stuck on the glass, or eye-poking stalks.  Once castrated a gingerbread man for gernish purposes (you don't want to know.  At least not if you're a man).

Choking hazards:  Usually fruit (although once she used fake teeth), which SLop likes to put INto her cocktails.  Frequently windpipe-sized.  May or may not be visible.

Rolling L's:  SLLLLLLop's manner of speaking, particularly in the older episodes.  Llllllloves to emphasize her LLLLL's.

Cocktail Time:  Best time of the day.  Takes place whenever it is 5:00 anywhere on the planet.

Edited by ragstoriches
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ragstoriches

ragstoriches

I'm getting sort of self-conscious about how many posts I have in this thread, but I keep coming up with stuff, and it's kind of fun. :)

 

Bee-yorn:  Bjorn, one of Sandy's many nutcracker friends, along with Friedrich, the "Frunch" nutcracker, and what's-his-name, the German nutcracker, along with a creepy life-sized nutcracker whose purpose is to scare children away from the kitchen (Uhh, SLop, I think your food already does just that).

 

Frunch:  French.

 

Cocktail Tree:  Sandy's favorite Christmas tree ever, decorated with cocktail glasses and topped with a nutcracker holding a replica of one of her cocktails (at least I hope it's a replica).

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ragstoriches

ragstoriches

(edited)

Salmonella Sandy:  Term used for Sandy whenever she fails to follow common-sense hygiene practices, like not washing her hands after touching raw meat, or licking her fingers and then touching her food.

 

Sandy Math:  Basically goes against everything you were ever taught about math, going back to the days when you learned to count from Sesame Street.  Don't even try to figure it out, there is no rhyme or reason to it whatsoever.  Exists only in SLop's booze-addled brain.  Suspected by shrikes to be a result of Aunt Sandy not knowing basic math.

Edited by ragstoriches
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mousie

mousie

She was trying for "tres jolie", but it came out as "treasurely".

 

Remember, if you say French words really fast, no one will know that you are not pronouncing them correctly.

 

This is especially important if you are patronizing one of the many Orange Likoor Stands that dot the French countryside.

 

I see that we covered the Wallet and the Ladder earlier in this thread, but let's not forget the Stepladders.

 

And, let's not forget Dr. Charles Treuter, the one who came up with the name of "shrikes" to describe those of us who like to snark on SLop.

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