Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017)

[SeanC]

This is a weird movie, in that when it's trying to be distinctive (mainly in its setting) it succeeds, but when it's trying to be formulaic (mainly with its story/characters) it fails.

After two prologue scenes (one of them kind of unnecessary backstory, but fun nonetheless; the other kickstarting the plot), we get our introduction to our main characters, and immediately two problems with the film become apparent:

1)  On a writing level, it feels like the movie keeps toggling back and forth between a few different variations on Valerian and Laureline's relationship.  I could not make sense of how acquainted they're supposed to be, because at times it feels like they're fairly new as partners, other times they act like they've been working together a long time.  The actors also, unfortunately, feel like they're on different wavelengths, particularly in terms of what each character thinks of the other (like, I think their banter is supposed to be playful much of the time, but Cara Delevingne often seems to act like Laureline views him with genuine distaste).

2)  Holy shit, Dane DeHaan as Valerian is one of the most baffling miscastings I've seen in a long time.  I thought he was an odd choice from trailers, etc., but the first scene with Valerian and Laureline is basically a big exposition dump about what a roguish, commitmentphobic playboy Valerian is, and....no.  No.  Dane DeHaan is not the guy you cast to play the roguish playboy romantic lead.  Dane DeHaan is the guy you get to play a supporting character who creepily or ineffectually hits on the female lead to contrast him with the handsomer, more charming male lead.  This is a casting error from which the movie never recovers, and maybe never could recover.  And I don't say this out of dislike for DeHaan as an actor; he's good within his niche.  This is not his niche.  This role is clearly written for a Chris Pratt or Ryan Reynolds type.

There are a bunch of other writing problems here.  I already mentioned that it's hard to pin down exactly what the leads' relationship is supposed to be, but the emotional climax of the movie and their relationship hinges on Valerian being a fastidious adherent to duty and the rules, a trait that I cannot recall being established or dramatized in a single preceding scene.  Say what you will about Marvel Studios for its formulaic aspects, but they know how to follow the formula and set up the beats for the climax to pay off.  Also, this is supposed to be a movie about two partners, but the movie seldom finds a way to give them both something to do at the same time; they basically trade turns being the action hero while the other is incapacitated or otherwise on the sidelines.

So, on the positive side:  this movie looks wonderful.  So much colour!  So many interesting alien designs, settings, etc.!

And this movie sells me on the idea of Cara Delevingne as a movie star.  She's fun and charismatic, even if, as I said, I think the writing causes problems in terms of trying to fit the character into an arc.

[GaT]

I've never read any of the comics, but I've seen pictures of them & for some reason, it really bothers me that Laureline doesn't have red hair. I don't know anything about the movie except for the trailer, & I already don't like it because Laureline is a blonde.

[thuganomics85]

Well, this was.... something.  Really, I'm not sure how to feel about a film where, one one hand, I really enjoyed the visual effects, the set pieces (the chase scene through all of the dimensions), the alien species, and the word-building, but on the other hand, I found the story lacking, the dialogue cringy, and the acting pretty bad; in particular; major miscasts on both of the leads.

I agree with a lot of the reviews where it started out pretty well, with the alien race (I'm pretty sure they had only women voicing them all, with the male characters being played by actresses with deeper voices, like Elizabeth Debicki as the Emperor), the creation of Alpha and "the City of a Thousand Planets," and the opening heist with Valerian having to go into another dimension to get the animal back from alien crime lord guy (voiced by John Goodman of all people!)  But after that, it felt like it was trying to be some weird hybrid of Star Wars, Avatar (human race fucked up a planet for the indigenous alien race, because humans suck), Guardians of the Galaxy and, of course, Luc Besson's own The Fifth Element, and it didn't work.  Again, the visual effects were gorgeous and I loved seeing the glimpses of Alpha and all the area, but none of the politicking, interspecies conflict, and characters in general worked for me.  I felt like I was getting through overlong cut scenes from video games and wanted to get back to just shooting things.

But I think the big issue was that I found Valerian and Laureline to be busts due to the writing and acting.  Valerian was inconsistent; coming off like a rebellious, "doesn't play by the rules!" solider one minute, and then a company man the next.  The biggest laugh came when he literally just decked his commanding officer, and then a few seconds later freaks out over Laureline wanting to get the creature to the alien race without going through the proper channels.  And then I couldn't tell if Laureline hated Valerian or did love him, because she acted like she could barely stand to be in the same room with him most of the time, but any time they were separated, she was all "Where is Valerian?!  I need to find Valerian!  VALERIAN!!!!!!"

And acting wise.... well, that wasn't much better.  Interestingly, I felt like both had different reasons why I didn't think they work.  For Dane DeHaan, I felt like he was a better actor on a technical level (delivering lines, reacting, expressing emotion, etc.), but had the charisma and personality of a wet blanket, and made Valerian duller then dirt.  The biggest mystery of the entire film was how he had as many sexual partners has he apparently was suppose to have before Laureline.  Meanwhile, I thought Cara Delevingine actually had charisma and spark in this and stood out more, but had some stilted, awkward line delivery and her facial acting seem to consist of just moving her eyebrows around.  Still, if I had to pick, she fared better.  And hey, she certainly was better then she was in Suicide Squad, since at least Besson didn't decided to have her character randomly gyrate around the set like a hula girl or bellydancer.  But overall, I came away with a sense that they were the 5th or 6th (or maybe 7th) choices, after all the big stars turned this down.  Hell, I kept thinking of Passengers; another sci-fi film I had mixed feelings with; and how the leads on that film would have worked better (Chris Pratt would have nailed down the roguish charm and quips, and Jennifer Lawrence would have had a better grasp with the "Not in the mood for your shit, Val!" attitude.)

Clive Owen was also pretty dull and every time I see him now, I keep thinking about how he was suppose to be a huge star years ago, and it never happened.  Did enjoy The Last Ship's Sam Spruell as the other ranking officer.  Surprisingly, Rihanna was actually kind of fun.  She provided some of the biggest intentional laughs in the film.  On the flip side, Ethan Hawke made me laugh for all the wrong reasons.  

That said, I certainly wasn't bored at least.  I'm going to put this alongside King Arthur: Legend of the Sword as a film this summer I had a lot of problems with, but at the same time, there were parts I really enjoyed, and at the very least, I appreciate that Besson was trying to do something different, even if he didn't succeed.  But perhaps if he just stuck to directing, let someone stronger right the screenplay, and did a better job with the casting, the film could have been something special.

Edited July 23, 2017 by thuganomics85

[SeanC]

Oh, and I forgot to mention:  what exactly was the point of making Cara Delevingne do an American accent in this?  Is there some reason why Laureline wouldn't have a British accent?

[Silver Raven]

Cara Delevingne is really a stiff actress, isn't she?  She only seems to have one emotion.

But damn, this movie is gorgeous, and it obviously cost a lot of money to make.  I hope it makes it up overseas, because I doubt if it will bring in much money domestically.  Still and all, I enjoyed it.

But, why did they hide Sam Spruell's face and then have him turn around like it was a huge surprise as to who he was?

[Robert Lynch]

I think Hollywood is trying to make Dane DeHaan another Leonardo DiCaprio(circa 1993-1996) and it just doesn't work. What worked for Leo back then is not going to work for Dane. I think as far as roles go, he's okay. But not lead material.

[Proclone]

I've seen some not great movies this summer that I knew going in probably weren't going to be good, but had sparked my curiosity anyway.  I wouldn't call either King Arthur or The Mummy good movies, but I don't regret that I saw them.  Valerian and the City of the Thousand Planets is two and half hours of my life I will never get back.  I thought it was dreadful.  

I went to see this because I love The Fifth Element.  I didn't think this would be as good as it, but I figured it would probably be a decent popcorn flick with some really cool visuals.  It does admittedly have some really stunning visuals.  What it also has is spectacularly awkward dialogue just this side of the Star Wars Prequels in terms of quality.  Also a romance so awkward, forced and lacking chemistry, it makes (excuse the second use of a prequel comparison, but when you write a scifi movie this bad it's bound to happen) Anakin and Padame look like Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy.  Not to mention periods of time when the plot comes to a screeching halt for huge info dumps, that are on at least one occasion just summarizing what you just watched for the last two hours and another occasion where even the on screen characters say that's enough.  You also get a main character who is an insufferable little prick, and a macguffin that is a cross between a Muppet and an armadillo that craps out copies of whatever you put in it's mouth....yeah you read that right.

I honestly feel bad for the actors because the were forced to say dialog that I don't think anyone could pull off but, who looked at Dane DeHaan and said "totally an action lead?"  Serial killer, maybe, but not what is supposed to be a charismatic ladies man.  And here's a tip screenwriters, I don't know what the character is like in the comics, but having a character tell us (especially when they never really show it) how wonderful they are constantly does not endear them to the audience, especially if you never have them taken down a peg or two or realize how much of a ass they are.  And my god, DeHaan and Delevingne do not have chemistry together.  They actually have negative chemistry.  I heard one person in the theater say at the end during their kiss, "Ew, gross!"  And not only is the romance terrible, it could have easily be jettisoned without effecting the plot at all.  And how horribly awkward was that conversation in the beginning about their relationship or lack there of? It literally made physically uncomfortable it was so unnatural. No one talks like that! I haven't seen DeHaan in very many things, I've heard he's a good actor, but to be honest Delevingne actually bothered me less than he did.  I think it's just because her character isn't as annoying as Valerian and she's not quite as miscast as he is. But honestly the only performance by an actor actually on screen (the voice actors were by in large good) was Ethan Hawk and he's only there for about five minutes.  Even Clive Owen was bad in this.  He practically had a neon sign over his head flashing "hammy bad guy!"  You know when Rihanna is probably the least bad performance, you have some serious problems.

The plot is also overly complicated and ponderous. It really need to be focused.  And I don't know why they felt the need to include the info dumps.  The majority of them contained information you didn't really need to know to understand the plot and bought the action (the only enjoyable thing about the movie) to a halt.  One of the things I liked about The Fifth Element is that a lot of the information about the world wasn't spoon fed to you, you just experienced it as the movie unfolded.  I have no idea why Besson felt the need to explain everything this time around.  

The visuals are spectacular in this. And that is it's only redeeming quality IMO. Nothing else about this is good, not the plot, not performances and especially not the dialog.  I haven't been so happy to see ending credits for a movie in a long time.

[bluvelvet]

Just got back from seeing this today. Hmmm...it takes a lot for me not to like a movie so I'll say it's on the lower end of okay. 

The only good thing that's already been mentioned is the stunning visuals. I would have loved to spend more time with the people of Mul and learn about their culture. I was also curious to learn what the pearls did for them personally as the princess seemed to wash her face with it in the beginning. 

 

Also I'm not familiar with the source story but I agree that the leads had none to negative chemistry. And the constant back and forth with their "romance" was annoying and had me rolling my eyes. Agree that Valerian was miscast, roguish bad guy he wasn't and I'm not even familiar with the actor. Thought the girl was stiff as hell and their dialogue was stilted.  Definitely won't be another Avatar. 

[GaT]

I haven't seen the movie, but I'm reading all the comments about how Dane DeHaan was miscast as Valerian. & I find that very interesting. Dane was cast as James Dean in the movie "Life", & one of the reasons I didn't got see it was because in the trailer he looked horribly miscast. I didn't see any charisma at all or anything compelling, so I wonder if he has something that shows up in auditions, but somehow gets lost on screen.

[Robert Lynch]

I finally saw this movie. Let's just say if this was 1998, 1999, or 2000, it'll probably would have stared Christina Ricci and Leonardo DiCaprio in their prime. But I think Luc Besson made a huge error making this movie 18 years too late. If released then, it would been a modest hit.

The leads...what chemistry? None that I have seen. But watching it takes me back to that time period where movies had leads we loved and did these stilted dialogues in such craptastic films. Remember Battlefield Earth? ..shudders..

As much as I loved the 90s, there is some films that don't need revisiting.

[WritinMan]

This is a terrible move. The leads cannot act--especially DeHaan, but he makes up for it by being really creepy looking. The two also have zero chemistry.

The special effects are fantastic, but I still need an engaging plot to watch a movie. The very weak story here really only serves to show really cool stuff from one scene to the next. And what story there was, seems to have been written for children.

[ribboninthesky1]

The movie is a visual feast. I actually wondered if Dane DeHaan's performance might have been better opposite an actress with whom he had chemistry.

For all of the complaints about Hollywood trying to make DeHaan happen, the same could be same for Delevingne.  At least DeHaan has a niche, even if he was miscast.  Delevingne is the typical model turned actress with no formal training. Not seeing this charisma that others saw (the only model turned actress I've ever been impressed with is Tricia Helfer, and she took acting classes).  Rihanna actually managed to have a spark of chemistry with DeHaan, would have been as qualified as Delevingne, and probably brought a bit more playfulness to the character.      

[Bruinsfan]

The question this movie left me with is if DeHaan and Delevingne obtained their roles via the same casting couch or if there were two different executives who each put them up for their respective roles as payment for services rendered while assuming that whoever had final say about the other lead would compensate by casting someone who could actually act.

[revbfc]

This movie made me so mad.  If they had just spent some time write a better script, it could have been amazing.

[Trini]

Finally got around to seeing this, and I basically have the same thoughts as the rest of you.

I'm not familiar with the source material, but from what I had gathered, it seemed like DeHaan was miscast, but I thought he was really talented from the one thing I'd seen him in, so I was going to give him a chance. HOO BOY, he really couldn't sell 'rogue-ish playboy'. But then I thought "well, as long as he and Delevingne can sell the relationship between them" , and nope. That didn't happen either. And of course Delevingne was miscast also.

Loved the visuals. Thought the character animation was really good. [Just looked it up, and it's a shame that this didn't get more nominations for SFX/Production, at least.] My main nitpick is that they spent how many millions for effects/animation but didn't also shell out for some decent haircuts for the two leads?? It was distracting for me.

As for the plot; yeah, the info dumps; the detours in which we get from A to C with a convoluted step B. Some of those were fun or visually interesting but most were really unnecessary. And the one where Laurline was literally got caught like a fish and had to be rescued was just insulting.

On 7/22/2017 at 10:58 PM, Proclone said:

 Even Clive Owen was bad in this.  He practically had a neon sign over his head flashing "hammy bad guy!"  You know when Rihanna is probably the least bad performance, you have some serious problems.

I couldn't believe they didn't even try to be mysterious about who the Bad Guy was.

I actually thought Rihanna was the worst here, but her role was small. Although I was upset that Bubble died for no reason.

Plot hole? -- The converter animals come from Mul, right? And wasn't the whole planet destroyed, and the only survivors were In that wreckage? I'm assuming they were the only ones who had convertors (or just the one?); so how did it get out of their possession that it ended up light years away?