Alaskan Bush People - General Discussion

[Whyyouneedaname]

Guess I've been under a rock, had no idea Billy Brown had been married before & has kids?!?! 

Also has grands that he doesn't see as well, he's a piece of work that Billy Brown.

Edited December 17, 2019 by Whyyouneedaname
correction

[realityobserver]

ABP Recap S11 E2 'Bears of a Feather'

 

[realityobserver]

ABP Recap S11 E3  'Storm's Fury'

 

[rmontro]

Call me sentimental, but I thought Gabe's wedding was kind of nice.  Probably a good call not having the chickens with the bow ties.

I don't know about Billy's talk about having a soulmate or whatever it was.  He said if you couldn't breathe without the other person, you know you picked the right one.  Sounds way beyond co-dependency to me.

[Eataton]

4 hours ago, rmontro said:

Call me sentimental, but I thought Gabe's wedding was kind of nice.  Probably a good call not having the chickens with the bow ties.

Yeah. Raquelle actually looked kinda nice. I was glad she didn't have that ridiculous nose piercing in. When I see that I think of a bull with a ring in it's nose. I was going to comment about something but forgot what. The only thing I cant think of is how Rain and Bird were playing with their dolls and talking like babies. Am I the only one that thinks this is weird?

[realityobserver]

ABP Recap S11 E4 & E5 'A Very Bush Wedding'

 

[rmontro]

11 hours ago, Eataton said:

The only thing I cant think of is how Rain and Bird were playing with their dolls and talking like babies. Am I the only one that thinks this is weird?

What isn't weird with this bunch?  I actually thought that part was pretty funny, it was one of those little in between the commercials spots.  They were playing "Alaskan Bush People" with their dolls (or action figures, or whatever they were).  They had one with a long white beard they had stuck on it, and they were like here's dad "All right, gather round everyone, there's some work we need to get done".  I doubt that the dad doll did any of the work either.

I also (against my better judgement) watched the show that was a glorified clip show with some new interviews tacked on.  In one of the new interviews, they were talking about the time in Alaska when Billy was having seizures (I think?) and Noah told the cameras to give them a minute and kept the film crew out (I'm sure he was just reading the script).

Anyway, Billy said (revealed for the first time!) that he had died three times on the way to the hospital.  Knowing his penchant for drama and outright fabrications, I'm sure that is BS.

[rmontro]

1 hour ago, realityobserver said:

ABP Recap S11 E4 & E5 'A Very Bush Wedding'

This reminds me, I was half expecting Bird to get gored by a longhorn or killed by an ostrich in this one.  She loves animals and seems to be so comfortable around them, I hope we don't end up hearing about her on the news some day, like Steve Irwin.

The sentence "She then has the slug brain remove his shoes while she performs a pedicure on him." caught my eye.  Who's the slug brain, Gabe or the person who actuall.,y gets that close to his feet?

I agree they could have shown us a little more from Rachel's point of view.  Like what would prompt her to marry this guy?  I also thought she looked suspiciously large in her wedding gown, I don't remember her being that hefty.  Next week's episode says "Gabe has an incredible surprise for the Wolf Pack". 

Noah's death rattle was disturbing.  Is he trying to raise a serial killer?

Lol at shopping for wedding clothes at a thrift shop, and stock shares in Noah Inventions Inc.

[realityobserver]

8 hours ago, rmontro said:

Anyway, Billy said (revealed for the first time!) that he had died three times on the way to the hospital.  Knowing his penchant for drama and outright fabrications, I'm sure that is BS.

Yeah, I'll call BS on that too. I'm getting the distinct impression that they make this stuff up as they go.

 

7 hours ago, rmontro said:

I agree they could have shown us a little more from Rachel's point of view.  Like what would prompt her to marry this guy? 

Good question.

[Swiss]

Why is this ridiculous show still on tv?? 

[clod]

my guess is...........  it's cheap to produce

[rmontro]

17 hours ago, clod said:

my guess is...........  it's cheap to produce

Yeah, they probably pay the crew in salmon.  Or loan Gabe out to them to do some chores.  Like have him cut a tree down and he drops it on their house.

This last episode was interesting, not the usual peace and harmony tale we usually get.  Noah was talking about how now that they're so spread out, they have to make a conscious decision to go spend time with each other.  He also alluded to the rough times when he first brought Rhainn to the montain (Bird was the main problem as far as I remember).

Then Gabe actually physically threatened Bam, saying "You're about three seconds away from me coming up there and throwing you down" off of the bulldozer.  To be fair, Bam was being a dick, but what else is new. 

They also let a subtle reference to Bam's invisible woman slip by.  He was talking about the big house he wanted to build, and how "we" were going to live there.  I don't think he was talking about his ducks.

Edited January 9, 2020 by rmontro

[Eataton]

9 hours ago, rmontro said:

Yeah, they probably pay the crew in salmon. 

They can't be getting all the salmon they did in Alaska. They must be trading eggs, pine cone art, and goat milk.  Who knew that was so lucrative. They're doing pretty good. Brand new tractor, decent vehicles, not to mention the land, all the lumber, concrete and other construction materials. Also, it looks like their kind neighbor must've just given them the bulldozer. He probably didn't need it anymore.

[Whyyouneedaname]

Bam is an a-hole no doubt but him throwing shade at what they have lived in....not building just a trapper shack, not a closet. Then taking a jab at what Noah & Gabe is building, "I'm not building a log cabin or a concrete castle" lol. 

[realityobserver]

ABP S11 E6 'Bam Bam's Big Build and Bears'  Recap

 

Edited January 11, 2020 by realityobserver
edit

[rmontro]

3 hours ago, Whyyouneedaname said:

Bam is an a-hole no doubt but him throwing shade at what they have lived in....not building just a trapper shack, not a closet. Then taking a jab at what Noah & Gabe is building, "I'm not building a log cabin or a concrete castle" lol. 

Yeah, that's a great example of the snark that's creeping in.  And it goes back to last episode when Bird and Rain were playing with their dolls representing their family.  They were doing some gentle mocking there too that actually showed a little self awareness.  We know they have cell phones and must see on social media the kind of things that are said about them.

When No-uh was talking about providing for his wife and family, I thought he stopped just short of saying that he was going to give more to Rhainn than what Billy gave to Ami.

[rmontro]

On 1/10/2020 at 1:50 PM, realityobserver said:

ABP S11 E6 'Bam Bam's Big Build and Bears'  Recap

You brought up a fair question about where Bum, er, Bam has been living.  Remember the old days when we knew they were all living in a hotel in Hoonah?  I guess nobody cares about this bunch enough to spy on them anymore.  

If they actually are living on that mountain in Washington, I'm guessing Bam is either staying in a trailer or in the crew's quarters with his girlfriend, wife, or whatever she is.  I wonder if he talks to her like he talks to Gabe.

[rmontro]

Watched the latest episode with Bear courting his new beau.  When Bear was asking if she would go steady with him, I swear she was scanning the woods for an escape route.  But she did take his wolf ring.  Probably was thinking "Yeah, I can get three dollars for that at the pawn shop".  

They said that Bear was under pressure from his parents to find a girl to get married to, since he was the last boy left.  But still no word on the girls dating, or even having any interest in it.  I've said this before, but I don't thing Billy wants any boys around his daughters.

Can't finish this post without mentioning Rain's confession that she milked her cat.

 

[realityobserver]

ABP Recap S11 E7 'Bear Meets Girl'

 

[Whyyouneedaname]

I think this show can't get anymore ridiculous then the next week happens and just like that they prove me wrong. Noah and his fake way of talking, "I want to give my wife uvrything", how bout getting a job & provide for your family. Rain milking a cat, how disgusting, I have never heard such in all my life. I believe the ones shooting at them in Alaska knew they were portraying the way they live & didn't want others thinking this was the norm. I feel quite sure they don't climb in an incubator to see how comfy it is. Who am I kidding, I don't know anyone that acts like these people do. 

[rmontro]

6 hours ago, Whyyouneedaname said:

Noah and his fake way of talking, "I want to give my wife uvrything", how bout getting a job & provide for your family.

Well, to be fair, he does have a job:  character on a reality TV show.

[rmontro]

8 hours ago, realityobserver said:

ABP Recap S11 E7 'Bear Meets Girl'

Apparently ostriches really can kill lions.  But in a random fight, my money's on the lion.

It was funny how Rain was giving Bear dating advice, when as far as we have seen she's never been on a date.  But she did laugh a lot when she thought Gabe said "popped a willy".

Good point on the hoof knife.  I can barely even picture Ami around a horse, much less cleaning its hooves.  Mostly Ami just sits or stands next to Billy.  If Ami is only 55, life with Billy must be really, really hard.

[realityobserver]

15 hours ago, rmontro said:

Apparently ostriches really can kill lions.  But in a random fight, my money's on the lion.

I had no idea that an ostrich could inflict so much damage. 

Who told the Browns?

[rmontro]

54 minutes ago, realityobserver said:

I had no idea that an ostrich could inflict so much damage. 

Who told the Browns?

Probably whoever sold/rented them to Billy/Discovery/Park Slope.

According to this, ostriches can grow to nine feet tall and weigh as much 350 lbs:

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/birds/o/ostrich/

[Eataton]

2 hours ago, realityobserver said:

Who told the Browns?

One of Birdie's cats told her. That's why a lion was the example.🙀

[rmontro]

This last episode was a bit much to take, even for me.  Are the Browns going to have to "flee the mountain" every time there's lightning?  Bird and Rain pile a bunch of chickens and goats to run around loose in a station wagon and intend to drive it to civilization?  Surely there must be some sort of ordinance against that, and if not there should be.

So they turn to "Noah" to build them an "ark" to save them from the lightning.  He pulls up in not just a bus, but you guessed it, a short bus.  They have to be doing this on purpose.  He then sticks two oil drums full of water on the side that the bus will automatically spray as it goes.  Does anyone actually think two oil drums full of water is going to be enough to stop a wildfire or to clear a path for the bus?  This is simply insanity by this point.

I also noticed No-uh's vocal fry got worse when he was being consulted about the ark.  Being put in a place of superiority over his family members, and having his "genius" recognized must bring it on.

And if Billy has asthma, why would you buy land in an area known for wildfires?  All that smoke can't be healthy.  Then he talks about how the dream will be alive through generations on the ranch.  But the previews for next week seem to suggest Billy will have to move off the mountain.  That could be a red herring, but are we going to have to see the Browns relocate again?  This bunch just can't stay put in one area.

[Whyyouneedaname]

I thought it comical, well the whole darn ABP is comical but nonetheless, Gabe is telling about his job to hang a flag by himself. He figures out how complicated it is because he is use to having his siblings to help out...."I usually have 6 more hands and a couple of brains" ok dimwit which one doesn't have a brain? From what I can see they are all lacking in that department. & for crying out loud why is Bird hanging on to the side of the truck? 

[Eataton]

12 hours ago, rmontro said:

This last episode was a bit much to take, even for me.

I know exactly what you mean. Even as I'm watching it I'm thinking "Why am I still watching this crap?". It's kinda fun to rip on the Browns as a buffoonish comedy,but now it seems like they're taking it to a new level of stupidity.

[Whyyouneedaname]

9 minutes ago, Eataton said:

I know exactly what you mean. Even as I'm watching it I'm thinking "Why am I still watching this crap?". It's kinda fun to rip on the Browns as a buffoonish comedy,but now it seems like they're taking it to a new level of stupidity.

& a mockery to every "bush" family out there. 

[realityobserver]

ABP S11 E8 Reacap: 'Noah's Animal Ark'

[realityobserver]

19 hours ago, rmontro said:

Bird and Rain pile a bunch of chickens and goats to run around loose in a station wagon and intend to drive it to civilization?  Surely there must be some sort of ordinance against that, and if not there should be.

Ordinance for the farm animals or the Brown girls?

19 hours ago, rmontro said:

This last episode was a bit much to take, even for me.

The lightning scenario was pretty demented. First thing I asked myself was why are they running off the mountain every time lightning was seen. Seems rather extreme, even by Bear's standards.

The short bus... enough said...

The Billy story is just getting ready to spread its' wings I am sure. I'm sure the producers will come up with something to keep us in our Laz-Z-Boys for another round of 1st class BS.

 

[rmontro]

1 hour ago, realityobserver said:

The Billy story is just getting ready to spread its' wings I am sure. 

How many times have they trotted out the old "this will change the Browns' life....   forever" hype?  Could be anything from a hangnail on up.

Regarding the girls driving around with goats and chickens, it can't be safe operating a vehicle when at any point a goat might jump in the drivers lap, or onto the pedals.  I certainly don't want to face oncoming cars full of farm animals.

I thought Bear showed some rare insight when he was asking Raiven to stay longer.  She said something to the effect that she wanted to, and he asked if she was being sarcastic.  Which was pretty much what I was thinking, she's been smirking through all her scenes.  I'm just surprised he picked up on it.  I think she just wanted to get some face time on television.

[clod]

notice the similarity in names?

make the V silent.   now how many show characters does it sound like?

[realityobserver]

16 hours ago, rmontro said:

How many times have they trotted out the old "this will change the Browns' life....   forever" hype?

Seems like every episode. haha

They also seem to draw on the 'danger' plot line a bit too much. Dangerous storms, dangerous fires, dangerous bears, dangerous falling trees... and then, of course, nothing ever happens except the Browns preparing for the newest 'danger'.

16 hours ago, rmontro said:

Regarding the girls driving around with goats and chickens, it can't be safe operating a vehicle when at any point a goat might jump in the drivers lap, or onto the pedals.  I certainly don't want to face oncoming cars full of farm animals.

Yeah, that seems pretty off the rails. Thank God they only were driving around the ranch, so if anyone actually got injured, it would only be them.

Raiven's appearance seemed to be in body only. She acted like she would rather be anywhere else. And it seems like it was thrown together on a moments notice. 

[Kendra143]

I watched some of this with my darling husband, and neither of us can immagine any woman choosing to be intimate with Bear (well any of the Brown boys except maybe Matt or possibly Bam).  Much less get pregnant with Bear's child....please say THAT'S not true.  The Brown family is just nasty - in looks, hygiene, behavior and pretty much everything. Yikes....

[rmontro]

6 minutes ago, Kendra143 said:

I watched some of this with my darling husband, and neither of us can immagine any woman choosing to be intimate with Bear

Just imagine the smell alone, considering the way he somersaults everywhere he goes in such an "extreme" manner.  It looked to me like Raiven didn't want to get too close to him.

He does have that sex swing mattress rigged up in his sweatbox metal container oven home though.

[realityobserver]

20 hours ago, rmontro said:

He does have that sex swing mattress rigged up in his sweatbox metal container oven home though.

AKA 'scene of the crime'...

[rmontro]

Watched the season finale. 

The doctors tell Billy he needs to stay off the mountain because of his heart condition, and the family unanimously and immediately decide he needs to stay on the mountain.  Mind you, I don't believe any of this, but I have no words.

Bird did not look comfortable on that dozer.  But if you're digging a hole on a steep hill with a dozer with bad brakes, why don't you dig the hole up the mountain instead of down the mountain?  If it's in a forward gear, it shouldn't roll backwards.

I wonder how the wives feel about living in a community house with the whole family?  No-uh again makes reference to the past turmoil in the family.  I guess it had something to do with him marrying Rhain Alicia, but aside from BIrd being snippy we never saw any of it.  Anyone want to make bets on whether or not we actually ever see this super mansion built?

And winter is coming again?  Didn't it just end?

[EastCoast4Life]

On 1/17/2020 at 9:03 PM, rmontro said:

If Ami is only 55, life with Billy must be really, really hard.

She looks like she's in her 70's. It really boggles the mind. 

[realityobserver]

ABP Recap S11 E9... 'Where there's water, there's a way'

 

[rmontro]

27 minutes ago, realityobserver said:

ABP Recap S11 E9... 'Where there's water, there's a way'

Lots of laughs, and prompted a few thoughts:

It put a funny image in my head of the gift shop in the hospital Billy went to trying to sell Ami's dog hair jewelry.  

You had a good point about the new house.  With regard to Billy's health, how would living in a house be different from living in the trailer?  And they had to put the pipe in within days because the ground was going to freeze, but they're going to get their super mansion built before winter?  Since all this was filmed last fall, someone get up there and see if it's there.  I bet it's not.

Billy said the new house with the "long hall" has been a dream of theirs.  But I thought living in the bush was their dream?  Then it was Browntown, then it was the ranch, now it's this communal mansion.  How many dreams has this bunch had?

Also, how is Bear's metal container home supposed to be heated?

Appreciated the shoutout, by the way.  Always good to be recognized as one of the people stupid enough to actually watch this show.

[realityobserver]

12 hours ago, rmontro said:

How many dreams has this bunch had?

I think it is hard to tell the dreams and nightmares from reality...and don't forget, Billy's dream was to have a bunch of horses to look at. Not ride, but look at. Some dream....

 

12 hours ago, rmontro said:

Also, how is Bear's metal container home supposed to be heated?

Possibly from the friction caused by the continued jumping in and out and swinging around in the 'Bammock' ? 

 

12 hours ago, rmontro said:

Appreciated the shoutout, by the way.  Always good to be recognized as one of the people stupid enough to actually watch this show.

You, my friend, are one of my biggest sounding boards. I always ask myself if I got the recap right, did I catch everything ? Without the feedback and support from the readers, I could be writing trash that no-one likes. Once the recaps are posted, I always check in to see if I was on target. Thanks for suffering through this show as I do ! hahahaha.  Never stop weighing in, it is much appreciated.

Dog hair jewelry, the punchline that never gets old !  😂

[rmontro]

34 minutes ago, realityobserver said:

Dog hair jewelry, the punchline that never gets old !  😂

Even my girlfriend makes fun of the dog hair jewelry a lot.  She actually introduced me to the show, though she's long since lost interest in it.  Must be smarter than I am.  Originally she described it as a bunch of kids in a family who took odd jobs and screwed them up.  🙂

[realityobserver]

Made a new poster for the recap...

 

Edited February 4, 2020 by realityobserver
added link to site

[jumper sage]

On 1/17/2020 at 9:03 PM, rmontro said:

Gabe said "popped a willy".

Good point on the hoof knife.  I can barely even picture Ami around a horse, much less cleaning its hooves.  Mostly Ami just sits or stands next to Billy.  If Ami is only 55, life with Billy must be really, really hard.

I am so sorry.  Isolation day 12 - I just had to link the two statements up..............

I'll see myself out...................................

[rmontro]

I bet the Browns are in their glory right now with the impending coronavirus economic stimulus package.  Couples will get a check for $2400 with $500 per child, and the singles will get $1200 apiece.  This is probably the best thing that's happened to them since the Alaska oil dividend!

[realityobserver]

On 3/26/2020 at 3:12 PM, rmontro said:

Couples will get a check for $2400 with $500 per child, and the singles will get $1200 apiece. 

IF they filed tax returns for 2019.... which I bet none of the kids did.

Or if they did file, and made too much money, they get nothing.

Anyway, even if the government pays out to them, I hope it is in salmon and dog hair bracelets...

[rmontro]

8 hours ago, realityobserver said:

IF they filed tax returns for 2019.... which I bet none of the kids did.

Or if they did file, and made too much money, they get nothing.

I've read the kids make around $60-65,000 a year.  That would put them in line for a stimulus check, which IIRC is given to people who made $75,000 or under.  Billy and Ami make more, I bet Billy at least won't get one.

https://www.distractify.com/p/how-much-alaskan-bush-family-get-paid

But you're right, they may not have filed tax returns.  To file a tax return, you have to pay your taxes.  And whether or not they do that is anybody's guess.

[Fosca]

From the constant commercials:  how the hell did they wind up with ostriches?

[Whyyouneedaname]

4 minutes ago, Fosca said:

From the constant commercials:  how the hell did they wind up with ostriches?

I think their friend in Texas gifted them those 🙄 on another note, has Gabe's wife had her baby? She's been pregnant about 18 months if memory serves me correctly.