Gilmore Girls Elimination Game

lulu1960 · May 10, 2019

6. 10, 17. Gonna start at the top and go from there

May 10, 2019

5, 6, 27

Taryn74 · May 10, 2019

I just snuck a few more in. 😁

ghoulina · May 10, 2019

4 - suicide ain't that funny

17 - I barely remember this?

19 - I love Jess, but such a prick. And not even funny.

Taryn74 · May 11, 2019

4 - The whole Jackson-runs-against-Taylor thing could have been handled so much better. As it is, I'm very 'meh' on the whole storyline. Sookie's 'Politician's Wife's hair' was a thing of beauty though. Ha ha ha.

6 - Dumb argument from when they were still fleshing the characters out. I tend to forget about it until I see it again.

17 - Nobody is in character (Kirk is funny in a different way, he never gets actual jokes right, and I don't believe for a minute Luke and Dean played softball together that often) but "I'm dumbing it down for you, Alfalfa" is funnier to me than it probably should be. I use that line often.

Favorite Snarky/Sarcastic Comments

1. "Is it raining?" "No, it's National Baptism Day. Tie your tubes, idiot." (Paris - GIB,BDTT)

2. "Excuse me. There's a phone call for you, and if I'm to fetch you like a dog, I'd like a cookie and a raise." (Michel - The Lorelai's First Day at Chilton)

3. "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me where we can find the best antiques?" "At your house, I'd guess." (Michel - The Lorelai's First Day at Chilton)

5. "Heart attack?" "Yes." "Um...it wasn't during, um...was it?" "No, Rory. This great man was not brought down by my vagina, okay?" (Paris - Written in the Stars)

7. "Why should she pick something else? She needs to learn a sport and Richard can teach her a sport.....You can use your mother's old golf clubs. They're upstairs gathering dust along with the rest of her potential." (Emily - Kill Me Now)

8. "Do you want your kid to spend her life behind the counter at Dunkin' Donuts? Do you?.....She's got a 'C' average, which means she's either lazy or stupid. I can work with either. Frankly, sometimes stupid is easier. I can scare the stupid out of you, but the lazy runs deep." (Paris - The Long Morrow)

9. "Please remember that I am your editor. I am not your mother or your hugger. If you need some love, get a hooker. If you're having a bad day, find a ledge or a way to deal. My door is not open to you, ever. You have five minutes to enjoy your cookies. Welcome to the Yale Daily News." (Paris - The Perfect Dress)

10. "Hey, hug a dolphin another day, all right? We need to rev up the gunships and retaliate before the next strike. We gotta go full-out Sharon." (Paris - Die, Jerk)

11. "Seriously, you've got one minute to make an impression and that's all you can come up with? You want to know my sign too, Jack? Or how about my favorite color? Or if I'm a Britney or a Christina? Here, I'll ask you a question. Was the last time you had an interesting thought, when you considered flinging yourself off a building?.....Bye, Jack. I'll write Mother immediately." (Paris - But Not As Cute As Pushkin)

12. "We got the band! I knew we had most of the academic clubs tied up, but band – they were the wild card ‘cause believe me, if anybody’s going to be truly scared of me, it’s some artsy loser with a tuba wrapped around his neck." (Paris - I Can’t Get Started)

13. "I thought an alarm would go off like in The Thomas Crown Affair." "That would be if this was a museum, and you were a man allowed in museums." (Michel - Bracebridge Dinner)

14. "Only prostitutes have two glasses of wine at lunch." "Well, then, buy me a boa and drive me to Reno because I am open for business." (Emily - Say Goodbye to Daisy Miller)

15. "You are not seriously sitting there." "No, it's a hologram. Lifelike, isn't it?" (Emily - Secrets & Loans)

16. "Luke, you gotta come out there with me. Patty gave my picture out to all these guys because she thinks I need a man." "You do, one with a nice couch and a deep knowledge of Freud." (Luke - A'Tisket A'Tasket)

18. "Okay, if I give you my lawyer's name, will you leave?" "I will leave." "Okay, you ready? His name is Don Dewey. He works at the firm of Dewey. . ." "Dewey." "Cheatham. . ." "Cheatham." "And Howe." "Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe. That was very immature." "Yeah, well, tickled me." (Luke - The Lorelai's First Day at Yale)

19. "There's the bathroom, there's the closet, there's the dresser, the phone, and over there is the kitchen. I've got Frosted Flakes." "Wow, that's grrrrreat." (Jess - Nick & Nora, Sid & Nancy)

20. "This is a serious problem. These Friday dinners are the only proper food that child eats all week." "Rory, are you in any way malnourished or in need of some international relief organization to recruit a celebrity to raise money on your account?" "I'm good." "She's good, Emily." (Richard - Love & War & Snow)

21. "This is a once in a lifetime event. You get to be there and I don't." "Oh boy." "I figure if I got enough pictures I could at least line them up in chronological order and pretend I was there." "Mom." "Maybe bind them together, make a flipbook out of them." (Emily - Rory's Dance)

22. "So, is this party Grandma's having going to be a big deal?" "Not really. The government will close that day. Flags will fly at half-mast. Barbra Streisand will give her final concert...again." "Uh huh." "Now, the Pope has previous plans, but he's trying to get out of them. However, Elvis and Jim Morrison are coming and they're bringing chips." (Lorelai - Rory's Birthday Parties)

23. "It seems that I was allergic to the crap metal hoop that I paid $19.95 to have jammed into my nose." "Did you take a picture?" "No, Louise, I did not take a picture. I was a little busy trying to get air to my brain cells, a burden you’ve not yet faced." (Paris - Happy Birthday, Baby)

24. "As I was saying, all the proceeds from the auction go to the children’s hospital, and we’re going to be offering some lovely pieces which I think would like very nice in that inn of yours." "What sort of pieces?" "Basically a lot canes and shawls, a couple of walkers. I believe we finally talked Old Lady Rollins into giving up her teeth." (Emily - Eight O'Clock at the Oasis)

25. "People are particularly stupid today. I can't talk to any more of them." (Michel - Pilot)

26. "You don't care at all, do you?" "To me you are the teacher in the Charlie Brown cartoon." (Michel - Kill Me Now)

27. "My life with the Banger Sisters." (Paris - A Deep Fried Korean Thanksgiving)

28. "What about Paris, does she ever sleep?" "I think she periodically makes a whirring noise and then just shuts down." (Rory - Bracebridge Dinner)

29. "Well, this is wonderful, to smell like a dead guy. You’ll have to beat them off with a stick." (Michel - Happy Birthday, Baby)

30. "Did you make sure Andrew Jackson was on the bills, not Alfred E. Newman or someone?" "Looked real to me." "Well, when he took the money out of wherever he had it, did a mask or a gun fall out?" "No, but he was carrying it in a canvas bag with a big dollar sign on it." (Gypsy - Take the Deviled Eggs)

31. "Twelve guys stood in a row all night." "Waiting for the Redcoats." "Who never showed!" "Now just a minute!" "Twelve guys stood in a row all night waiting for an enemy that never showed. They got stood up. They should've been wearing prom dresses." (Luke - Love & War & Snow)

32. "I say I'll cover the desk, but how will you know if I'm actually doing it?" "I trust you, Michel." "I mean, it's just as possible I say I'll cover the desk, and the moment you've stepped away I'll put some fruit on my head and join a conga line somewhere." "I believe you looked for the bracelet." "And while I'm shaking it to the Miami Sound Machine, the phones here – they would ring and ring and ring, and no one to answer, no one to assist." (Michel - Lost & Found)

33. "I give up." "That’s the spirit." "I can’t remember any of this crap." "Well, not everyone is cut out to be their own boss. Maybe you are more of a worker bee, a follower, a ticket ripper, or the man at the concert with the orange glow stick directing you where to park." "You’re baiting me, aren’t you?" "No, I seriously have no faith in your aptitude." (Michel - Double Date)

34. "What is that?" "It’s a paper clip." "And what do you intend to do with that paper clip?" "I intend to carve something really dirty into the bathroom door." "Lorelai." "What rhymes with Nantucket?" (Lorelai - Let the Games Begin)

35. "We have decided to just go sit at the table. Perhaps the food will appear by sheer wish fulfillment." "I'll check on it again, Mom." "Oh, please don't. I wouldn't want to disturb your cook. She's obviously in the middle of a crossword puzzle." (Gran - The Incredible Shrinking Lorelais)

36. "Richard, I would like to be escorted into the dining room now." "Your wish is my command." "Well, uh, I’m not sure that dinner is ready just yet." "Well perhaps our presence in the dining room will teach your help that when one is told dinner is at seven o'clock, people often expects dinner at seven o'clock." "But it’s only five after, Mom." "Only five after? Richard, in the even that I am kidnapped and a ransom is demanded at a certain time, I would prefer that Emily not be in charge of the drop off." (Gran - The Third Lorelai)

37. "I have no memory of this whatsoever." "Rory, correct me if I'm wrong, but men have walked on the moon regardless of whether your mother remembers it or not." "That's the rumor." (Emily - Cinnamon's Wake)

38. "I gotta place an order." "Talk into the clown." "I am." (Dean - Dear Emily and Richard)

39. "It’s from my mother." "What is it?" "It’s heavy. Must be her hopes and dreams for me." "I thought she discarded those years ago." (Rory - Dear Emily and Richard)

40. "No, it doesn't work there either." "What an enormous shock. Anywhere else you want to try it -- maybe at the Lincoln Memorial, on his giant lap?" (Michel - Tick, Tick, Tick, Boom)

lulu1960 · May 11, 2019

2, 10, 27

Kohola3 · May 11, 2019

2 (Michel had better zingers)

10 (Paris had better zingers)

27 (ditto)

chitowngirl · May 11, 2019

Why not?-2, 10, 27

Taryn74 · May 12, 2019

2 - Agreed, Michel had much better lines than this.

10 - Again, agreed.

27 - Heh. I share Paris' exasperation with Madeline and Louise most of the time.