You Know You're Obsessed With Criminal Minds When...

[mstaken]

...when a few of the characters have made alarmingly frequent appearances in your dreams. Um, not that I'm speaking from personal experience or anything ;)

...when someone casually mentions meeting in about half an hour, and your reflexive response is "wheels up in thirty, huh?" Needless to say, this elicited a blank stare. 

...when that theme song plays in your head on and off all day long. 

...when you actually write down the quotes the show uses at the beginning and end of every episode. And some of the facts and stats that are mentioned along the way. 

...when you spend a disturbing number of your waking hours watching and discussing this show, and do so at the exclusion of silly little things like, say, work. 

...when you try to insist that your pregnant friend name her son Spencer.  

...when you find yourself compelled to record many of the episodes with your DVR *despite* also owning them on DVD. No, I don't get myself either...

[Wilowy]

When you get offended when someone calls him "Hodge" or spells it "Reed".

[FormerMod-a1]

When you get offended when someone calls it "just another procedural".

[mstaken]

...when you realize that it takes you twice the normal amount of time to watch every S1-S4 episode because you just have to---yes, HAVE to---continually pause and rewind nearly every single scene.

...when you explain to people in all sincerity that you're just too busy to see them this weekend, and by "busy," you of course mean that you'll be busy rewatching CM for the zillionth time, finding CM-related photos online, and chatting about CM on this site. That's totally normal, right? ;) 

[Wilowy]

And when you don't invite people to watch it with you on the off-chance that they won't like it or be bored and then you'd have to deal with THAT, instead of reveling in each moment/scene/gesture from the episodes you love. 

Ain't nobody got time for that! :D

And yes mstaken, that IS perfectly normal. In our world. 

[mstaken]

...when some warped part of you is actually GLAD that you're sick, as it provides the perfect excuse to spend the weekend curled up in bed while marathoning CM for the zillionth time. You then realize that that's exactly how you probably would have spent the weekend even if you were perfectly healthy. 

 

...when you happily spend far more time chatting with fellow CM fans online than anyone you actually, like, know in real life. And you prefer it that way! 

 

...when, despite being among the least 'shippy people on earth, you suddenly tart becoming oddly obsessed with various potential CM 'ships (preferring them to play out in fanfic rather than onscreen, but still!)  

[Wilowy]

When you see the word "Viper" on the back of a camper trailer and immediately think "Ewww."

[mstaken]

...when Willowy's post makes you want to read or even write an amusing fanfic centering around Emily's disastrous outing with Viper :) 

[idiotwaltz]

You start profiling your bosses at work to see which one is the sociopath, which one is the narcissist, which one is the sadist, and you feel totally validated when your profiles turn out to be right! (Usually this happens about midnight and you're crying and wondering when Morgan will knock down the door to your office and rescue you from this dungeon.)  

[Wilowy]

When not even a holiday tradition like watching Band of Brothers all Memorial Day long can persuade you to tear yourself away from CM episodes you've seen dozens of times. 

[zannej]

When you find yourself spending hours googling pictures of furniture you think certain characters would have in their homes, hold polls on which ones are the best options, make FAQs, contribute to the wikia on a regular basis

When you also find yourself spending hours trying to narrow down the make, model, and year of Reid's car

When you google places that appeared on the show to compare how the show made it look compared to how it looks in real life and find yourself nitpicking the differences

When you notice that they changed the decor in characters homes or changed where they lived

When you pause and get tons of screen captures of their homes so you can figure out on which floor they live, on which street they live, and any other minute details

 

 

Or is that just me? LOL.

[mstaken]

Ha! I so get that, zannej. When I'm browsing on Amazon, I find myself wondering what each team member likes to read. Sometimes when I'm in a restaurant, I find myself wondering what they like to eat. And...well, I'll stop before this gets even more pathetic ;) 

[zannej]

LOL. Well, I think Hotch mentioned either cereal or oatmeal. Reid likes Indian food and dairy but he hates creamed spinach.. :P

[SSAHotchner]

When you're watching other programs and keep telling your husband, "that guy was on Criminal Minds!"

And when you spend 2 hours going through one episode to get a gazillion screen shots of your favorite characters.

[zannej]

Oh yes. I love getting screen shots!

[mstaken]

...When you end up deleting all new episodes of new shows off your TiFaux without even watching them in favor of re-watching the same CM episodes for roughly the 12 zillionth time. That's totally normal...right?! 

 

...When you reflexively profile every person with whom you come into contact. Suffice it to say I know at least a few sociopaths. ;) 

[Wilowy]

When your favorite BAU team member is in town shooting a movie and you sign up to be an extra on the off-chance you'll get to say "Hello, Dr. Reid." to his face!

[Cobalt Stargazer]

...when Willowy's post makes you want to read or even write an amusing fanfic centering around Emily's disastrous outing with Viper :)

 

You know you're obsessed when you actually think about trying to write said fanfic, just to seer if its possible.

[millennium]

when you go to a sandwich shop and order a meatball unsub

Edited July 12, 2014 by millennium

[zannej]

When you're dealing with FedEx and you are trying to explain why it is unacceptable for them to give any of your packages to your neighbors because they are Unsubs and then you remember that FedEx people probably don't know what Unsubs are.

[Dionysa]

When you know that any pets you get in the future will be named for BAU team members, and you're saving "Spencer Reid" for the smartest, cutest, most beloved of all.

[Wilowy]

When you end up watching accursed season 6, muted, just so you can see the hotness of Spencer and commanding Hotch. 

[zannej]

When you start suspecting your friend's 5-year-old stepson will turn out to be a serial killer because he wets the bed and tries to hurt animals...

[SSAHotchner]

When you start suspecting your friend's 5-year-old stepson will turn out to be a serial killer because he wets the bed and tries to hurt animals...

That's scary! You should stuff some information about this in their mailbox, anonymously, of course.

[zannej]

Oh, my friend knows about it. He has banned the child from touching any of the family pets and one time when I was over he saw the kid trying to pick up a kitten and sent him to his room saying "What did I tell you? Don't touch the animals!". After the kid left he said "little serial killer". My friend watches Criminal Minds too. I think the kid mostly does stuff when he gets mad. Like when the kittens don't want to be held and they claw or when the puppy nips him while playing. But we half joke that he's a serial killer in the making.

[Dionysa]

When people start telling you you're "too much a fan" of the show, and you simply can't understand those foreign words.

[FormerMod-a1]

... you come here to post that ION is showing Season 1, right now!  (they are, fyi, they are on ep 3 - Won't Get Fooled Again)

[Cobalt Stargazer]

....when you wish your cable package still included ION so you could watch Season One all over again. *sulks*

[Lebanna]

When you buy copies of the DVDs with multiple language tracks so that you have an excuse to watch the show over and over even more than normal and it also counts as studying (this month, season 8 in Italian!)

[idiotwaltz]

When the local news reports on the murder trial of some guy who killed and dismembered his parents and you nod soberly at the TV and say, "He's totally a narcissistic psychopath." 

[Wilowy]

 "He's totally a narcissistic psychopath." 

 

... with severe abandonment issues...

 

(Next?) ;)

[SSAHotchner]

....when you wish your cable package still included ION so you could watch Season One all over again. *sulks*

I was watching on ION last night, which bugs my husband because I have all the DVDs. I never can get over how much I love Extreme Aggressor. Stayed up to get to Broken Mirror. Watching Natural Born Killer now. I know folks here didn't like that one much, but I love Hotch in NBK.

[zannej]

I actually liked NBK. It had a lot of good elements in it. I think most of it was probably influenced by Deb Fisher. Back when Messer had a writing partner they had some pretty good stories.

 

So, you might be obsessed when you go in to a parking garage and think about the car chase scene in one of the episodes where the unsub ended up ramming the guy in to the front of the elevator-- and you also think about how dumb the guy was to not get behind a cement barrier or something to get away.

[Wilowy]

Like the idiot woman in Roadkill, running flat down the road when there are trees all around her she could duck behind. Wait, isn't that the same episode? 

 

Darwinism in action, once again.

[Wilowy]

Also you know you're obsessed when there's new eps of a series you just started watching and really like, and you put on some old CM instead, still shushing everyone if they try to talk during. 

[zannej]

Yes, that was the same episode, and that scene you just mentioned had me yelling at the TV "GET THE FUCK OFF THE ROAD, YOU DUMB BITCH!! GET BEHIND A TREE!!!!"

 

Like really, who runs straight down a road instead of going off the road to get away? The only way I could see her staying on the road is if there was no place to go, like it was on a bridge or cliff and/or there were alligators on the side.

Edited August 6, 2014 by zannej

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Yes, that was the same episode, and that scene you just mentioned had me yelling at the TV "GET THE FUCK OFF THE ROAD, YOU DUMB BITCH!! GET BEHIND A TREE!!!!"

 

Like really, who runs straight down a road instead of going off the road to get away? The only way I could see her staying on the road is if there was no place to go, like it was on a bridge or cliff and/or there were alligators on the side.

To be fair, this happens in movies and TV shows a lot. I specifically mentioned this in the Only On TV thread, that people always seem to run down the middle of the road when someone is trying to run them down.

[Wilowy]

Oh, it's an old device, to be sure. Thing is, they should know better by now. Viewers are smarter now (for the most part), so get rid of the insulting "helpless person with zero brain we're supposed to root for". Cuz we don't.

 

Huge waste of very limited storytelling space. 

[zannej]

Yeah, its why I liked "Nick of Time" with Johnny Depp and Christopher Walken. Depp's character really tried every way he possibly could to get help and let someone know what was going on and they had plausible ways for Walken to intervene almost every single time. Not only did they have his kid hostage, but they were there watching him almost every second to make sure he wasn't blabbing.

 

IIRC, one of the kidnappers played a minor character on "The Profiler" series.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

.....when this makes your retroactively shippy heart absurdly happy.....

 

 

 

.....and you don't even like the stupid song.

Edited August 6, 2014 by Cobalt Stargazer

[zannej]

I like the song in the Hotch/Reid one "Apologize" but I don't ship them at all. I also like the "Just A Little Bit" one and "Leave Spencer Reid Alone" with the "stop calling song.

 

So I guess this ties in where you hear a song and think of how it applies to CM somehow.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

.....when you decide to write a crossover fic of this show and your other obsession, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

[Wilowy]

Please do! I've only read one and it was a long time ago and the characterizations were so off it wasn't even funny. Not to mention terrible spelling, usage, and punctuation, and that rips me right out of a story. I've long wanted to write one of those myself, but got too distracted with other projects. 

 

You should post a link in the fanfic thread when it's finished! 

[SSAHotchner]

This seems as good a thread as any to post this. Last night I was watching CM on ION TV when Rossi's first episode, About Face, came on. During the scene on the jet the team begins to discuss the case, but Rossi is sitting alone kind of in a trance as memories of the Galen murder scene flash through his brain. They show brief flashes of the kids and then the flashes of the bloody crime scene, and I swear the bloody crime scene photos are from the Di Marco's house in Natural Born Killer. It was too late at night for me to drag out my DVDs to check, but I remember that wallpaper and the blood spatters from the dressing area where Mrs. Di Marco was killed and the shots of the bloody shower stall. I never noticed that before and I have seen About Face many, many times. I'll have to check later today. I'm currently at the Hyundai service area getting routine maintenance on my Tucson.

Edited August 19, 2014 by SSAHotchner

[Cobalt Stargazer]

When you see this

 

 

http://morningafter.gawker.com/fuck-these-puppets-1595607905

and laugh and laugh when you scroll down to the comments, because one says, "Fuck the Uncanny Valley they came from."

[zannej]

LOL. And I have to agree with the person who wrote that article. Seriously, WTF is with those stupid puppets? It makes me glad I don't have directv.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

when you say, "DAMN IT!!!" when you realize you slept through A & E's morning showing of The Instincts and Memoriam. And then actually breathe a sigh of relief when you find out it comes on again tomorrow morning. Because even though you hate Reid's sperm donor with the white-hot fire of a million burning nuns, you adore his relationship with his mother.

 

Edited for accuracy

Edited September 6, 2014 by Cobalt Stargazer

[SSAHotchner]

I love both those episodes, because of what we learn about Reid.

[zannej]

Cobalt... did you mean burning "suns"? burning nuns sounds rather violent. :P

 

I keep wondering how the BAU team would profile a case when I see something about a murder on TV.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Cobalt... did you mean burning "suns"? burning nuns sounds rather violent. :P

zaneej, 'burning nuns' was originally a typo by someone on TWOP (I think) who meant to type 'burning suns, and the error was carried forth by other people from that.