Explain it to Me Like I'm Lily: Recaps for the Disenchanted

[Petunia13]

Fucking Kelly.

[photo fox]

Bitches ain't resting.

I need this on a shirt.

[movinon]

 

Kelly wraps herself up in a blanket of doom and sinks into the couch so she can remember what it feels like later and to feel horribly sorry for herself.

Almost feel sorry for her - almost.  This one's for you, LeftPhalange - enjoy!

[peach]

Thurs, Oct 9     She’s A Little Frightening

 

Sharon enters Phyllis’ hospital room and she’s dressed for this badass bitch occasion in black leather boots and jacket.  Time to return the favor of a surprise visit.  Phyllis is half drugged up in bed.  “Sharon,” she kinda slurs.  “Is this a dream?  Or a nightmare?”  Phyllis is SO tired, even the demons are asleep.  No!  says Sharon.  Please, stay awake!

 

Nick is wandering around the cottage, looking at family photos and shaking his head.  You’re such a prince, Nick, tolerating your family like you do.  There’s a knock at the door, and it’s annoying Victoria!  She’s brought a gift.  “Happy Wedding Day!”  He’s like, yeah, other than the fact that they never made it official.  Vicky asks where the bride is.  Nick thinks she’s out looking for a reason NOT to make it official, after he just got finished doing the same thing. 

 

Chelsea can’t believe this Phyllis story that Billy’s telling her.  She can’t even imagine what went through Jack’s mind.  “With Kelly standing RIGHT there?” says Billy.  Chelsea gasptalks about how you find the love of your life who makes you crazy, and then “something happens” like Sharon knocking them down the stairs, or Billy killing them, and then you grieve, and then you move forward…and then suddenly, they just…WALK IN?  Billy thinks it was especially tacky of Phyllis to wear a white dress, which Sharon must have really appreciated.   He jokes about how Phyllis could kick your ass even fresh out of a coma.  Chelsea’s too distracted to laugh.  Billy asks if she’s thinking about ADAM just walking back in her life, like maybe in November.

 

Grumpy Devon sits at the club bar and stares at Hilary’s number on his phone.  The show can’t decide how to spell her name, so today it’s Hillary.  Lily brings Devon some of Shick’s wedding cake.  He says it sounds like a hell of a non wedding day.   She knows it wasn’t the day Shick had planned, but of course for Jack and Summer, it’s a miracle.  And then there’s poor Kelly.  Devon’s like why “poor Kelly?"  Lily’s like well, obviously everything’s changed.  She has to go back to being poor now.  Devon’s confused.  What, is Jack going to break up with her or something?   Lily looks at him like he’s a complete idiot.  “Uhh, Phyllis is back?  People who loved her and thought they lost her now have a second chance.” 

 

Devon gets all pissy and says, oh, so the fact that Jack and Kelly are in love doesn’t mean anything now?  Lily’s like, it’s not the same kind of love, duh!  “Well, how do YOU know that?” asks Devon.  She’s like, what’s he going to tell Phyllis, oh, sorry, but while you were in a coma, I moved on?  Devil’s Advocate Devon says so you think Jack’s gonna tell Kelly just because of [Neil’s blindness] Phyllis’ medical condition, he owes her his whole life?  Is that how it goes?  Lily’s not saying what’s right or wrong, just that it is what it is.   She’s like and what do YOU care anyway, weirdo!

 

Jack confronts Kelly who has her bags all packed.  “Kelly, what’s going on?  What are you doing?”  Wow, everyone is dumb today.  “How’s Phyllis?” asks Kelly. 

 

“You came back after all this time,” Sharon tells Phyllis.  “And now here you are, and you are awake, and I’m sure my face is not the one you want to see right now.”   “Good guess,” slurs Phyllis.  Well, she needs her to stay awake, she needs her to listen, and help her.  “You owe me that much,” says Sharon.  Oh, Phyllis is awake now.  “I owe YOU?”

 

Yeah, Chelsea did think for a moment about Adam walking in, isn’t that natural in this situation?  Billy thinks Adam and Phyllis are not the same thing.  “Look, Adam’s dead, and he’s not coming back,” because I killed him four times over.  “And all of TWO people mourned his death, you and Victor.”  He totally left out his own Adam-obsessed brother.  Billy’s sorry, but he thinks most people are relieved he’s not coming back.  “You’re sorry?” challenges Chelsea.  Well…no, he’s not.  And he hates it that Chelsea feels pain thinking about his death.  But Billy’s glad the man is gone after everything that he did.  Okay, fine, but she’s not apologizing for having a stray thought about Adam.  Billy wants to have a fight for no reason like some psycho sorority girl, so he demands to know what would happen if Adam made a deal with the devil and returned to the land of the living…what would Chelsea do??

 

Vicky says Sharon seemed like she wanted to marry Nick this morning, so what’s the deal now?  Nick doesn’t get it.  And when he came home from seeing Phyllis, Sharon had left a note that SHE went to the hospital to see Phyllis.   Vicky thinks that sounds more like a death wish than trying to get out of a wedding.  Why would she go see Phyllis?? “It’s this whole SECRET thing, that Sharon THINKS Phyllis knows.”  Obviously Nick thought it, too, or he wouldn’t have gone and asked her himself.  Blah blah does Nick want to go find her at Memorial too?  He says he can’t hover over Sharon like he’s trying to protect her.  “Why stop now,” snarks Vicky, which is a valid point.  Why stop NOW?  She continues being annoying.  She thinks Sharon will wind up on the losing end of any battle with Phyllis.

 

Sharon says, okay, I didn’t mean you OWE me, it was just really f’ing weird of you to show up at my wedding.  Phyllis says Nick told her they didn’t make it official.  Well, NO, because making sure PHYLLIS was okay became the priority.  Phyllis says, “You were worried about me? That’s niiice.”  Sharon asks if she told Nick anything.  “Tell him what?” she mumbles.  She says her meds are kicking in, so juss leave.  Yeah, in a minute, “but right NOW, do you remember if I told you something in confidence…something nobody else knows?”  Phyllis gives her the side eye.

 

Jack tells Kelly that Phyllis…is Phyllis.  She did the impossible.  Kelly says it sounds like nothing is impossible for her.  Jack apologizes for how chaotic things have been..but the suitcase?  Kelly says Summer came by the house and went full whiner about Phyllis’ stuff being in storage, so he needs to get it out ASAP.  Jack can’t believe that Summer didn’t “have some idea” they did that, but of course she didn’t.  Ideas are hard.

 

Kelly insists she’s happy for Summer, as she would do anything to get her dad back.  Jack asks if Summer asked her to leave, because that’s not her decision to make.   “No, Jack, it was MY decision.”  Jack insists she does NOT have to leave!  Kelly squints at him like what are you talking about?  “Then what am I supposed to DO, Jack?  What do WE do?”   

 

Billy keeps whining about what Chelsea would do if her late husband were no longer late.  She thinks this must really be about the fact that it’s been almost a year since Delia died.  “Since Delia was KILLED,” corrects Billy.  She asks if there are any plans for that day, because this show desperately needs more dead kid memorials.  Billy can’t handle such things.  But he goes after her for possibly missing or mourning Adam after he took Delia away from all of them. 

 

She tells him Adam is gone and can’t hurt anyone anymore.  And he isn’t going to come walking through the door.  But if he wants to ask her how she felt when HE walked through the door, she felt very happy!  And she was happy that he was happy, so let’s get back to being happy.  He’s like, so, what, do we just let go of the Adam stuff?   YES!  She tells him to find a movie to watch, and when he sees what was on TV, he says, whoa, Chelsea has a freaky streak!

 

Devon continues being argumentative about Jack and Kelly because Hilary.  Lily says Jack and Phyllis used to be married, and were getting married AGAIN, it’s not like it was the same level of commitment.  “Like marriage means things are perfect?” complains Devon.  “How’d that work out for you and Daniel?”  Lily’s like…really?  “Wow, that was a low blow.  Thank you.”  Devon just wants to know why KELLY has to be the one to get thrown under the bus.  All Lily is saying is that there are three people in that relationship, and one of them is about to get crushed.  Devon pouts because he is Kelly.

 

Jack tells Kelly he doesn’t have the answers.  She says “But you do, Jack.  In your heart, you know.  It’s done.”  She says it’s sweet of him to want to protect her, but--  he says he’s being honest with her!  He doesn’t KNOW what comes next!  She’s like get real, he LOVES Phyllis, with the kind of love that overshadows everything.  Sure, they can box up her clothes, her things…but they can’t box up Phyllis, at least not in one piece.  “YOU are her fiancé.  She belongs here!”

 

Jack says Kelly is getting way ahead of herself!  Phyllis still needs to recover. Kelly’s like, we TALKED about what would happen if Phyllis ever came back.  “I understand.  You can say goodbye to me. It will hurt, but you can do it.  I don’t think you can say goodbye to Phyllis again” and also, she will probably cut my head off.

 

Phyllis tells Sharon that she might have been passed out for a year, but she’s pretty sure they aren’t best buds.  And if Sharon HAD told her a big secret, Phyllis is also pretty sure she would have told the whole world.  Sharon’s like, duh.  But evidently, she did tell Phyllis something.  Phyllis is like, hey, I have a reason for fuzzy memories, you don’t.  Sharon’s like, actually, I do.  While you were sleeping, I had a period of…instability..and I did some..things.  “Like marry Victor?  We know.”  Please, don’t remind her.  This is hard for her to say, okay!  Phyllis is like, oh, how selfish of me, please go on. 

 

Sharon tells her she had brain fryification therapy.  Phyllis is surprised.  “That’s not nothing,” she concedes.  Sharon says with meds and therapy, she’s healthier than she’s been in years.  Phyllis says, “…yay.”  But she lost part of her memory.  Phyllis thinks for a minute, and says, “I get it.  So if you don’t remember it, then who’s to say there’s a secret at all?” 

 

Instead of going with this obvious out, Sharon TELLS Phyllis that before the ECT she told someone that she did have a secret, and Phyllis was the only person who knew it.  So know she’s come to her for help.  “OR you’re gonna mess with the coma girl’s head,” says Phyllis because that’s exactly what she would do.  “Is this some kinda game?” she asks Sharon, sounding like she hopes so.  Phyllis loves games.

 

Now Devon is pissy about Neil.  Lily thinks they should check on him while Hilary, His Rock, is out of town.  Devon thinks everybody [Hilary]should stop making a big deal out of Neil being blind.  Lily wants the dirt on who Devon was getting busy with in the hotel suite, which she gossiped about with Dad, which REALLY pisses off Devon.  Why doesn’t Lily just mind her own business???  Lily looks at him like what is your problem?  She NEVER minds her own business!

 

Chelsea makes embarrassed excuses about watching BALLROOM DANCING, instead of Zumba, because she needs it for exercise, since she doesn’t have time to get to the gym.  Except you can’t do ballroom dancing by yourself, so whatever.  She insists pretending to ballroom dance is a great workout.  So of course, Billy wants to be her partner.  Feel the heat, you guys.  Kissing.

 

Jack and Kelly sit sadly by the door.  Jack says he’s out of his depth, this is a moment he never saw coming.  Sad Sack Kelly thinks maybe she knew it all along.  Jack doesn’t know what to think.  Phyllis spent a year in a coma and then almost wound up in jail.  It’s confusing.  Now she’s sedated in a hospital with no idea what’s happened in the last year.  “No idea about me,” clarifies Kelly.  No idea that she’s in the place that rightfully belongs to her.

 

“So did you come to mess with my head, since I messed up your wedding?” asks Phyllis, something she’s explained to no one.  “Why would I do that?” asks Sharon, her own head is messed up enough.  Phyllis thinks it’s some kind of payback.  “Oh, Phyllis, you have all the answers,” she mocks.  “Who says that to a woman that’s been asleep for a year?” 

 

She says Summer told her the doctor doesn’t want her pushed, and yet here Sharon is, pushing her.  At least she’s not pushing you down the stairs.  Is she hoping to see Phyllis’ brain short circuit?  Sharon says she came there for answers, if Phyllis’ brain short circuits that would just be a bonus.  But the last thing she wants to do is SLOW DOWN her recovery.  Phyllis is like come on, you must have SOME idea what this secret is about.  “You tell ME.  Maybe I’ll return the favor.”  Sharon is super gullible.  She jumps on that.  “So you DO remember something!  Phyllis, please!  You HAVE to tell me!”  Phyllis gives her a sly cat smile.

 

Devon angrily complains about Lily being a nosy gossip, which doesn’t even put a dent in her nosy gossiping.  She finally gets him to blurt out that she has no idea what this mystery woman means to him!

 

Billy and Chelsea go in the bedroom and she tells him it mattered that he came back tonight.  He could feel it when he walked in.  This is where he needed to be so he could complain about Adam and then have sex with his widow.  Love scene.

 

Victoria has a fun conversation with Nick about all her problems, where she argues with everything he says including when he agrees with her.  She says she’ll watch Faith so he can go back to the hospital to get between Sharon and Phyllis, because that’s his favorite place to be.

 

Phyllis chuckles and says here she is in a hospital bed, and Sharon is making demands.  “It’s good to know you’re as selfish as ever,” says Selfless Phyllis.  “This isn’t about ME, this is for Nicholas!”  “Humanitarian Of  The Year,” says Phyllis.  Sharon says this secret could HURT Our Hero.  “Then why not let it go, genius?”  Again, Sharon explains that Nick must be protected from hurt, and since they both love him, they should work together to do so.  Phyllis looks at her, like, does ECT make you stupid?

 

Jack tells Kelly that the doctors don’t want Phyllis overwhelmed with too much too soon.  “And you were happy to comply,” says Kelly.  Jack insists Phyllis is oh, so fragile right now.  Fragile enough to assault a guy, talk her way out of an arrest, and crash a wedding.  Frankly, he’s not used to a Phyllis that needs this much protecting.  Kelly thinks from everything she’s heard that they all need protecting from Phyllis.  She says Phyllis is a little bit frightening, to be honest.  “Yeah, that’s the way she would have it,” muses Jack.  Kelly wonders if these people can even hear themselves talk about the amazing Phyllis.

 

Kelly’s like look, Phyllis loves you and needs you, so I probably should get the hell out of town, no matter what you said to her in Georgia.  Jack insists that he told Phyllis he was MOVING ON when he went there, but she didn’t hear a word of it.  Kelly gets weepy and says “I am NOT the woman you need in your life.  I’m not frightening, and I’m not tough as nails,” I’m scared stiff, “so you need to let me do this.”  She picks up her bags, but Jack begs her to stay.  He doesn’t know about tomorrow…but please don’t leave like this now.

 

Faith comes downstairs and finds Aunt Vicky.  I really don’t have time to listen to Victoria today. Blah FF blah.  Faith asks her if she and Uncle Billy will get married again, too?  Victoria grimaces.

 

Billy lovingly watches Chelsea sleep.  He strokes her arm, and she mumbles, “Adam.”  He sinks down in the pillows, his ego SHOT.

 

Lily and Devon bicker about his woman.  He says he’s a grown man and deserves privacy.  But Lily’s his sister, so he doesn’t deserve any from her.  Blah blah she has faith in his love life.  She leaves and he stares at Hillary’s phone number again.

 

Phyllis continues baiting Sharon for more information.  “So this secret that could hurt Nick, does he know it exists?”  He thinks it’s nothing.  “And you don’t believe him?  You know, trust is one of the those things you want to have with the guy you marry.  So why don’t you trust him?”  Sharon says, “You keep asking me questions, instead of telling me what I want to know.”  “Oh, am I not recovering from my coma fast enough?”  She seems okay to me.

 

Sharon says Phyllis LOVES having the upper hand over her, so here’s her lucky day.  She’s BEGGING her.  Maybe she should do this and help her for SUMMER’S sake.  Phyllis wakes up some more.  “Oh, you’re dragging my DAUGHTER into this?”  Sharon says Summer is a really good girl, and SHE is the one who’s been there for her while Phyllis was gone. “She and I have bonded in a very special way that I never expected.”  Phyllis is enraged.  “YOU…and MY kid?”  Nick walks in!  “Hey, you two.  What’s up?”  “Let me tell him,” says Phyllis with relish.  Nick looks nervous.

 

Devon has his private jet fired up so he can fly to New York City.

 

Victoria talks.

 

Billy watches sleeping Chelsea and pouts.  He gets up and leaves because she said Adam in her sleep.

 

Kelly stayed so they can have a miserable night in the same bed staring at the ceiling.  Jack finally turns over so they sleep with their backs to each other.

 

Phyllis says to Nick, “I get out of one hospital…I make my way back to my family…and instead of holding hands with my daughter, I’ve got this one (pointing at Sharon) asking me about a big bad secret.”  Maybe because instead of contacting your family or holding hands with your daughter, you CRASHED THEIR WEDDING.  That might raise a question.   Phyllis goes on to say, “After YOU came and asked me if I remember something that she told me.”  Sharon turns on Nick.  “You asked her that??”  Why do think he went there?!  He says it was just to ease her mind!  Phyllis snorts.  “How sweet.” 

 

Nick insists that this secret that’s hovering over them DOESN’T EXIST.  And they never should have dragged Phyllis into this, not now, not like this.  He’s sorry.  Yes, how RUDE of them to “drag her into this” after they dragged her out of their wedding.  Who are they to ask her wtf she was doing there?

 

Phyllis asks Sharon, “So someone hit delete on your hard drive?  Is that for REAL?”  Well, it was more like a power surge, but Nick confirms that Sharon’s had some memory loss, which was why they both came to her looking for some answers, and also, SHE CRASHED THEIR WEDDING.  “Because Phyllis knows all,” she mumbles.  Her ego’s intact, but she’s so sleepy tired…she drifts off.  “If you think of something, ANYTHING,” says Sharon…she and Nick leave.  Phyllis snuggles down into her pillows with a big smile.  So…does she remember?  Or doesn’t she?

[valleycliffe]

Oh phyl, as reptilian as ever.

[glowlights]

Phyllis asks Sharon, “So someone hit delete on your hard drive?  Is that for REAL?”  Well, it was more like a power surge,

 

I feel awful for laughing so hard at this.

[jodo]

I AM SICK TO DEATH OF HEARING THE WORD SECRET!!

[Joimiaroxeu]

Devon pouts because he is Kelly.

Well, if Devon is Kelly, does that mean Hilary is Jack? Then that would mean Neil is Phyllis and that does not compute for me. I think Devon is Phyllis and Neil is Jack and Hilary is Kelly. No, wait, Hilary is Phyllis, Neil is Kelly, and Devon is Jack. Oh, my head hurts...

Sharon tells her she had brain fryification therapy.

Heh. Another ill-advised medical procedure instigated by the machinations of Victor Newman, MD. In this case, "MD" stands for "Meddling Dickhead".

He doesn’t know about tomorrow…but please don’t leave like this now.

Cue Phil Collins singing "One More Night", followed by Chicago doing their fan favorite, "If You Leave Me Now". Soapin' with the Oldies!

Billy watches sleeping Chelsea and pouts. He gets up and leaves because she said Adam in her sleep.

Wuss. He should be grateful she didn't scream it mid-stroke. Sigh, I am so ready for Adam to get back. IMO, Billy is overdue for a rude awakening. Edited October 10, 2014 by Joimiaroxeu

[peach]

Y&R should be sponsored by Secret.

[peach]

Well, if Devon is Kelly, does that mean Hilary is Jack? Then that would mean Neil is Phyllis and that does not compute for me. I think Devon is Phyllis and Neil is Jack and Hilary is Kelly. No, wait, Hilary is Phyllis, Neil is Kelly, and Devon is Jack. Oh, my head hurts.

Neil is Phyllis, and Hilary is Jack because she has to stay married to him because of his medical condition.   He's leaving out the actual problem, which is that Neil is his dad.  The real question is which one is Larry, Curly, and Moe?

Edited October 10, 2014 by peach

[miamama]

Phyllis says to Nick, “I get out of one hospital…I make my way back to my family…and instead of holding hands with my daughter, I’ve got this one (pointing at Sharon) asking me about a big bad secret.”  Maybe because instead of contacting your family or holding hands with your daughter, you CRASHED THEIR WEDDING.

 

IKR???? Gah. That is is all so IRRITATING. Isn't it bad enough we have to endure THE SECRET? We are now forced to guess what reptilian alien Phyllis has going on in her head?

[crosby777]

They are so not done with phick..

[Gigi]

I think they are simply chem testing, but I don't see it. Even though TG is younger, her Phyllis still seems older than Nick and I think the current writers are done with Phick as a (*cough*) romantic pairing. When Chuck Pratt comes on board we will see if that changes, but I am hoping it doesn't. With this lizard-like version of Phyllis, it seems she is reverting back to the evil villainess the character truly was. Pairing her with Nick would just simply restrain her going full out diabolical, which seems to be right up CP's ally.

ETA: and I am not really buying Phyllis's claim that things are fuzzy in her psycho brain. It seems to me she clearly rememered what Sharon's secret is and/or how she ended up in a coma, otherwise why plot and and plan to crash Shick's wedding above all else? Even before she saw the wedding invitation, she made zero effort to contact Jack or her beloved daughter. Why? She then spends the rest of her time stalking Sharon's house then planning her entrance to Sharon's wedding. And we are to believe she just did that with no recollection of what happened before? And WHY has no one asked her WHY she chose to make her grand entrance at Nick's wedding to Sharon? Or to ask HOW did she even know about it after being in a coma for a YEAR?! Come on. It's like the writers just want us to forget about logic and just go with their dribble.

I am not buying that one bit. Phyllis proved in her chat with Sharon she is the one playing mind games because she is the same sadist she was before her coma. I believe she does remember and is just faking having "fuzzy" memories. Same old self-serving, mean girl Phyllis.

Edited October 12, 2014 by Gigi

[miamama]

I'm surprised too at how much older GT looks than I expected. She has gorgeous, youthful skin and all that but her demeanour ages her. Not at all in a bad way. But the idea of her with (clean-shaven) Nick seems slightly ridiculous to me. Especially when he came in all about football and nonsense. What a stupid scene that was. How funny that you came and crashed my wedding and devastated Sharon (and little Faith). Want to share a beer? This after Phyllis rudely made Jack leave with her need to talk to Nick ALONE. ugh. (I see Phick is as sensitive as ever to others around them.) And why did she want to talk to him? She told him nothing. She has told no one anything of any interest.

 

I actually don't think she remembers anything about the DNA switch and the fall. The writers want it both ways. They want the viewers to think she'll shake everything up with what she knows but they want to drag this out longer and so she actually only remembers "bits and pieces." She seemed amused Sharon is so freaked out and that she somehow has the upper hand. What's annoying is we, the viewers, are being played as well. 

 

I also don't think she picked up on Jack's new love interest at his house. I think she was crying in the motel room because she felt she had to pawn his ring. (But she was wearing a big rock when she crashed the wedding, so WTF?) 

 

But of course NONE of this explains why she went like a demon to the wedding. But it was AWESOME TV so who cares??? ugh.

[glowlights]

I am still recovering from the sight of those MONSTER HEAPS of cake Lily brought to eat with Devon. Did she use a shovel? Classy.

 

And the cake should have gone to Nick and Sharon instead of into the Winters' greedy maws.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dw-ggXDa0q0

[peach]

Fri, Oct 10      How The Hell’d THAT Happen?

 

It’s morning.  Jack wakes up…and Kelly is gone.  She left a note.  “Jack, it’s better this way.  When you’re ready to talk, you know where to find me.”  Crying at the bar.

 

Avery comes to visit Phyllis.  She looks like she’s sleeping, but she smiles and says, “Don’t worry.  I have no intention of checking out like that again.  Not when I have so much to do.”  Her makeup is perfect, so I guess she’s already done that.

 

Nikki, Dylan, Paul and Christine have a top secret clubhouse meeting at the station.  Chris looks super happy about it.   Paul shows Dylan the personal ad.  Surprise, surprise, Dylan can read.  “It was a new world when I met you. But now the past leads nowhere.  They think you made your final transition, but I know better.  You were right, I owe you.  We are bound together, and we need to see this through together.  I want this to be over.”  What’s not to believe about that?  Does it say “TO IAN WARD FROM NIKKI NEWMAN?” 

 

Nikki looks sick.  Paul says as far as the rest of the world is concerned, Ian is dead, and Dylan is his murderer.  Only they plus Ian have access to the internet and know he’s about to strike.  Dylan says only he’s in jail and can’t protect Nikki anymore, even though “protecting Nikki” is what brought them all here.  Nikki says if anything can get Ian to come out, it’s THIS ad.  “It’s a brilliant idea, Paul!”  Dylan thinks Ian can’t resist the bait.

 

Chris finally pipes up and says she hates to be the voice of negativity, ha, but this man is anything but predictable.  Paul’s like what are you saying, that this is NOT a brilliant idea?  Pretty much.  She’s afraid it’s going to backfire on somebody.  Nikki looks stressed since, obviously, she is that “somebody.”

 

Victor’s on his phone asking someone about the latest on Phyllis’ condition.  He wants someone on her door to spy on who goes in and out of her room and monitor her phone calls.  “The important thing is to make sure Sharon does not get con-trol of the situation, you got it?”  I love that the only person Victor is ever afraid of is Sharon.

 

Nick and Sharon are at home, with straight-haired Mariah eavesdropping on the stairs.  Nick wants to know when they can go to the courthouse and finish getting married.  Sharon says, well, Phyllis just got back, and they don’t even know if she’s okay yet.  Nick asks what does that have to do with them?  He’s like, we’ve overcome so much, we can overcome Phyllis being a pain in the ass.  Sharon says he’s talking like this is like fixing a flat tire or something, instead of a sign of the apocalypse.  Nick says nothing has changed!  “EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED!”

 

Austin and Summer come into Crimson Lights with her bags from Fenmore’s.  She knows Austin didn’t like her spending all that money, but she wouldn’t have to if Kelly didn’t put her mom’s stuff in storage, like in Alaska, or wherever it is.  Austin says Kelly isn’t the bad guy here.  There ARE NO bad guys here.  Summer knows that, but, hey, Kelly knew the score going in, so too bad for her.  She has childlike faith that now everything is going to go back to how it was. 

 

Oh, look, her mom’s favorite scones!  She probably hates the hospital food, and hahaha, and the staff will probably throw a party the day her mom leaves!  Austin says Courtney mentioned her mom is a [bitch] pretty tough lady.  Summer says usually in a good way.  Her mom is sweet.  Austin asks how she’ll react to them being married?  Sweetly? 

 

Summer says her mom just follows her heart no matter what anyone thinks.  Her heart will just run you the fuck over with a car.  Summer thinks she’s just like that, too, only she causes miscarriages with her car.   As soon as Phyllis sees how happy Summer is, she’ll be happy for them!  Austin can’t wait to meet her.  They hug, and Summer looks pretty damn worried.

 

Jack calls Kelly and leaves a message that he’s confused about a lot of things right now, but there’s one thing he’s quite certain of.  “I love you…I love you.”  He looks around in despair.  Aww, poor Jack.

 

Attorney Avery is finally asking some questions: 
Why didn’t you let one of us know you’d come out of the coma? 
Why did you run from the clinic? 
Why didn’t you call Jack, or Summer, or me?? 

 

Phyllis acts very satisfied with herself, and says, “I am practically back from the dead, and you are ASKING ME why I didn’t give you fair warning? That’s hardly the reaction I expected.”  Well, we did all the gaping and crying yesterday, Phyllis, but okay.  Avery is so happy to see her, but the last time they checked with the clinic there was no change, so explain.  “The reports of my persistent vegetative state were wildly exaggerated.”  Hardee har har.

 

Avery thinks Phyllis can imagine their surprise to hear she stole a nurse’s uniform, thumbed a ride, clocked a guy, and had the state police after her.  Phyllis says she wasn’t thinking clearly.  Avery points out that she was thinking clearly enough to get herself all the way to Genoa City and show up at Shick’s wedding in a killer designer dress.  Oh, that? “I really wanted to be at that wedding…and make an impression.”  Just..because?

 

Nick says what hasn’t changed is that he loves Sharon.  They’ve made the commitment, and they just have to finish the paperwork, so WHEN can they do that?  Sharon fidgets and claims that it’s selfish to focus on a wedding right now.  Nick’s like, that’s stupid, we got 99% through the ceremony; we just need “I pronounce you” and boom, we’re done.  Sharon insists there are too many things they don’t know, too many unanswered questions.  Mariah listens.  Nick knows everything he needs to know!  Well, maybe Sharon doesn’t! 

 

Nick admits what happened at the wedding was totally weird and affects a lot of people, but Phyllis being in the hospital shouldn’t stop their plans.  Sharon just thinks they should wait, they need more time!  Nick gets frustrated.  Because of the SECRET?  Because he doesn’t give a crap about that, and “NOTHING is going to tear us apart.”  So Sharon gives the worst excuse of all and says FAITH needs more time.  Faith would cut off her pinky finger if it meant they got married.  Sharon has to go do an errand.  Nick frowns.

 

Mariah comes down.  She asks if Sharon’s okay.  Nick says how could anyone be okay after f’ing Phyllis interrupted their wedding like that.  “I mean, it was just…so Phyllis.”  Mariah kind of laughs and asks if she’s broken up a wedding BEFORE?  “Uh, yeah,” says Nick.  “Once with a car.” Lol, Nick.   So I guess they should consider themselves lucky.  Mariah chuckles and says she’s starting to admire the hell out of this woman.  Nick says this is not a time for joking.  “Who’s joking??  This could be a blessing in disguise!  Everything will be out in the open – “  Nick gets mad and says to LAY OFF HER.  Mariah’s like wow, “Sharon’s really worried about what Phyllis knows …and so are you.”

 

Sharon shows up at Jack’s.  He tells her Kelly was gone this morning.  Sharon says it’s going to take everyone some time to get used to Phyllis being around.  She can’t imagine what JACK’S feelings must be right now.  “And she didn’t walk in on MY wedding,” he says.  Exactly, Phyllis doesn’t care about you.  Sharon desperately wants to know if Phyllis said anything to Jack about HER when she spoke to him in the hospital. 

 

Mariah tells Nick nice try on pretending he doesn’t care about The Secret, cuz she’s not buying it.  Nick says he cares about Sharon, and ONLY Sharon, unless he’s talking to Phyllis and then Sharon’s just kind of meh.  Mariah wonders if he’ll still be saying that when the truth comes out.  He’s like, yada yada yada, plenty of people have been against them getting married, including her, Sharon’s own daughter. 

 

Mariah’s like, I showed up in that ridiculous dress, didn’t I?  Oh yeah, well Nick thinks she is super rude for altering that dress without permission and then acting like a brat about the whole thing.  But Sharon sucked it up and dealt with it, just like she’s dealt with all of Mariah’s digs about how Sharon’s unworthy of TGNN.  Mariah’s like, you call it a dig, I call it being truthful.  Well, Nick calls it RUDE and INSENSITIVE.  He knows plenty of other people acted like that. 

 

Mariah says if he’s talking about VICTOR, he brought them champagne to toast them!  Nick’s like, you can’t really think he was happy for us.  He knows Victor has been out working overtime trying to derail this wedding ever since he found out about it.  “Paranoid much?” asks Mariah.  Nick says he’s sure his dad is going to be thrilled now that the finds out what Phyllis did.  “He couldn’t have planned it better himself.”  Hmm.  Mariah knows Victor is difficult, but she’s come to admire his ingenuity.  She really admires all the best folks.  Nick snaps would she at least CONSIDER for ONE SECOND what her mother is going through?!

 

Nikki goes into Paul’s office to talk to Victor on the phone.  He says he’s worried about her after hearing some of her messages, she doesn’t sound like herself.  “Oh, really?” says Nikki.  Yeah, she sounds [loaded] confused. Well, Nikki says, it’s been a confusing time.  He’s not there, he won’t tell her where he is, and a lot of stuff has been going on, like, say, PHYLLIS being back!  Victor’s like…holy crap.  “Phyllis is BACK?”  Yep, she woke up from her coma and hitchhiked from Georgia to Genoa City.  She showed up at the Shick’s wedding in a long, white dress and brought it to a grinding halt.  And then she collapsed right there in the aisle.  Victor’s like, golly gee, “How the hell’d THAT happen?”  Well, who knows, and also, Victoria went into labor, but it was a false alarm, and Dylan’s been arrested for murder, but that’s okay that you NEVER RETURNED HER CALLS.  

 

Gosh, he’s sorry he’s been so busy, and he feels super bad about Dylan going to such lengths to stop Ian Ward, but the guy deserved it.  And Dylan’s pretty much expendable.  Nikki says he’s making quite a few assumptions about all this.  Well, what’s that supposed to mean?  Hmm, well, if he ever deigns to come home, she’ll tell him about it then.  Click.  Victor’s amazed.  “So…Phyllis did her job.”  And he didn’t even have to give her a ride.

 

Avery assumed Phyllis would hate the idea of Nick marrying Sharon, but why would she make this Herculean effort to get there?  Phyllis says, Nick and AVERY were getting married.  The last she knew they were in love and made each other happy.  How could she LET Thatwoman?  Avery explains that it wasn’t Sharon…it was that she and Dylan found their way back to each other.  “Dylan.  Well, I’m happy for you if that’s what you want.”  Believe it or not, that IS what Avery wants.  But more than anything, she wanted Phyllis to come home.  She knows they haven’t always been close, like when she defended Daisy, but hey, SISTERS, right?!  Phyllis says it’s all coming back to her.  Avery asks if she remembers what happened to her that night. 

 

Christine thinks Paul is playing Russian Roulette with Dylan’s future and Nikki’s safety.  How dare she?  Paul would never do ANYTHING to jeopardize their safety.  Not intentionally, says Chris, but he has he REALLY thought through all the moves this man could make.  YES!!  Paul says they’ve tried playing it by the book.  Blah blah blah, it’s Ian’s obsession with Nikki that’s driving him.  He asks Nikki what Ian said to her that night.

 

“That I owed him, that I needed to give him a son to show that he had the strength to be a leader, and I cheated him.  So, I offered him money, and that wasn’t enough.”  Chris asks if Nikki’s really OKAY with being the bait for this??  Nikki will do anything she possibly can!  She just doesn’t know how much more she can TAKE seeing her son in a jail cell, and knowing that maniac is out there capable of anything.  She slumps and sobs.  Paul and Dylan rush to her.  “I’m okaaaay,”  she chokes out.  Chris thinks about punching her in the throat.

 

Victor tells Dr. Jorgensen he needs irrefutable proof that he’s right, that his son is not the father of his granddaughter, Faith.  In case you missed that.  Dr. J doesn’t cut corners, but he’ll have the results within the hour.

 

Mariah snaps at Nick for getting bent out of shape.  He gets that she’s pissed off at the world, but she needs to have a little more compassion for what her mother is going through!  They argue, and he says to talk to Sharon and get to know her.  “Don’t you get it?  You’re a part of this now, you’re a part of US.  You’re our family.”  Nick doesn’t want to see Sharon get bogged down in what Phyllis knows or doesn’t know.  He doesn’t want to see her slipping back.  “Oh!  You mean so that a lowlife like me can’t mess her up again.”  No, so a lowlife like Phyllis can’t. 

 

Nick wants Mariah to cut the bullshit for five minutes and have ONE productive conversation about someone who means something to them, who needs their help.  FINE, says Mariah.  So what is NICK doing to help her?  He went to see Phyllis, that’s what.  But SHE’S still confused , and her memory is faulty, but she…she was definitely trying to tell him something.  But Nick doesn’t think she knows what it is or how to articulate it. 

 

Phyllis tells Avery she’s still not sure what happened.  “You don’t remember anything?”  Phyllis didn’t say THAT.  She has flashes, bits and pieces, but she’s not sure what’s real and what’s a fantasy.  But when Sharon came by, she felt like it was a nightmare.  “Wait, SHARON was here?” asks Avery.  Yep.  Is it true she got zapped and lost her memory?  Avery says Sharon was a MESS before that happened.  “When WASN’T she a mess?” snarks Phyllis.  Avery’s like, no, I’m not kidding, she was CRAZY. 

 

She was lying and manipulating, trying to break up Avery and Nick.  She even used Faith, and tried to make Avery out to be this evil daddy-stealer. Phyllis thinks that must be what she skipped over when she rekindled her love with Dylan.  Avery’s like, Phyllis, you’ve been in a coma for over a YEAR, there was a lot of babynapping going on.  “And I am WONDERING when everybody’s going to stop trying to MANAGE me, and start telling me the TRUTH about what has HAPPENED while I’ve been gone.”

 

Sharon tells Jack she’s sure he has more important things to do than discuss Phyllis with her right now.  “I’m sorry about the wedding,” says Jack.  “I’m sorry that she chose [Nick] that time, that place to come back into our lives.”  Sharon doesn’t think it was a coincidence.  DUH.  She says she’s missing pieces of her memory, but given where she was with her bipolar disorder, it’s not hard to imagine that she might have…done some things…that are hard to face.   But she doesn’t want to live like that, knowing she did something bad she can’t remember. 

 

She thinks Phyllis is keeping it from her, some horrible thing Sharon did when she was out of control!  Did she tell Jack what it was?  He has NO IDEA.  Sharon apologizes for bringing this to him, and leaves.  She walks out on the porch and has a sudden flashback.  She and Phyllis are circling each other at Cassie’s grave.  Phyllis is in her evening gown.  “What are you doing here?” asks Sharon. “Did you follow me??”  “You bet I did,” says Phyllis.  Sharon’s like omg!

 

Jack stares at Phyllis’ photo for a while, then grabs his keys and runs out the door.

 

Nikki whimpers that everything that’s happened is because of her mistakes, so it’s only right for her to do anything to help out now.  Christine says if it becomes too much for her, she’s under no obligation to continue. She also doesn’t like her facing this alone.  She needs HER husband.  Does VICTOR know about this?  Well, he’s busy ruining lives on two continents right now, but as soon as he gets home she’ll make him understand.  “Understand what, that it’s fine for you to be in harm’s way?”

 

She nags Paul some more about putting Nikki in this plan to catch a psychopath.  HOW MANY times does he have to say it?!  NIKKI IS NOT GOING TO BE IN ANY DANGER.  Dylan thinks he’s figured out what Chris’s problem is.  She’s annoying.  AND it’s because she’s not sure he’s innocent!  She stares.  Well, if he’s not innocent, then the plan isn’t DANGEROUS because Ian’s DEAD, Einstein.

 

Avery blames the doctor for saying not to overload Phyllis with a lot of detail.  “I guess SHARON didn’t get the memo.  She seemed to want to make me crashing her wedding ALL about HER.”   Welll, Avery has to admit that Sharon’s changed in the last year, chose the ECT, and maybe isn’t the worst person ever.  Phyllis says her back must have been against the wall, but Avery insists she did it for her children.  “That’s a heartwarming tale,” snipes Phyllis.  Avery goes to see if Summer is outside, and tells Phyllis she loves her, so deal with it. “If I must,” smiles Phyllis.

 

Avery talks to Summer and says Phyllis is anxious to know everything she’s missed, but doctor’s orders are NOT to overload her with detail.  So she didn’t mention Summer eloping with Avery’s kidnapper, she’ll leave that up to her.  “But I wouldn’t mention anything about your husband holding me at gunpoint.”  But that’s the best part!  Avery leaves, and Summer pulls off her wedding ring and stuffs it in her purse while Phyllis yells for her to get in there.  Austin follows.  Phyllis gets emotional about how gorgeous Summer is.  Summer says she missed her sooo much.   Then she introduces Austin, “he’s my…friend.”  Austin looks at her like WTF?

 

Mariah states that Phyllis’ brain is still scrambled.  Since she understands the criminal mind, she asks if Nick thinks that’s from the coma…or is she the type to play games?  Maybe she’s just pretending to still be muddled so you’ll spill what you know?   Nick says that didn’t even cross his mind because he’s willfully being an idiot about Phyllis right now.  He has to take a phone call in the kitchen.

 

Mariah looks at the unicorn family photos, and flashes back to Sharon sitting with her in the hospital telling her she’s her she’s safe and secure, she has a real family now…then Nick telling her she can’t erase the fact that someone decent out there will love her always, no matter what…then to herself giving Sharon the “something blue” anklet.  She considers. 

 

Then the great and powerful Victor Newman calls to get some straight scoop from her.  “So how’s everyone reacting to Phyllis’ return?”  She tells him the wedding was a bust, but she’s sure he already knew that.  He asks how Nicholas is taking it.  She says Nick is worried about Sharon, and Sharon is worried about Phyllis and what she knows but isn’t saying.  Nick says he doesn’t CARE about The Secret, but he’s afraid Sharon’s going to go nuts again. “Oh, yeah?” says Victor. 

 

“So my info about Faith not being Nick’s was completely worthless?” she asks.  Victor says he keeps his promises, K?  If her tip is true, he’ll pay her, and she can get the hell out of town…if that’s what she wants.  IS it?  Mariah is uncomfortable and says she really can’t talk right now, bye.  She looks up and NICK is standing there. 

 

She claims her phone call was a political poll.  She tells Nick she wishes she had never hurt Sharon.  She wishes she had never followed Sharon to Cassie’s grave and heard her say she did some terrible thing.  Was that an apology or a burn?  Nick says it’s not her fault.  His father is a very determined man with unlimited resources and if he couldn’t find a fake real dead living twin, he would have found some other way to break them apart. 

 

“I know he used me,” says Mariah.  “You were a means to an end.  When whatever you told him didn’t pan out, he just moved on to the next thing, which is why he hasn’t BEEN THERE for my mother lately, which is why he MISSED MY WEDDING!”  She says does it really BOTHER you, him not showing up knowing how much he hates Sharon?  Hello, it’s the point!  Part of Nick wishes Victor would find The Secret and tell everyone so they can move on, and finally Sharon would have some peace of mind.  Mariah’s like, Victor Newman doesn’t want Sharon to have ANY peace.

 

Jack arrives at the hospital.  Phyllis apologizes for being in a coma and not remembering meeting Austin at the clinic.  They leave so she can talk to Jack.  She tells him she doesn’t remember that boy, but some things she does remember.  Does she remember seeing a WEDDING PHOTO of Summer when she woke up?

 

Austin is PISSED.  Summer begs to explain.  “How you’re ASHAMED of me?” asks Austin.  Summer whimpers that she’s NOT ashamed, but Aunt Avery warned her not to share too much information.  If she introduces him as her husband, she’ll have to explain how they met or else LIE, waah, which she didn’t want to do. He grabs her hand.  “You took off your wedding ring!  Introduced me as your friend,” he says in disgust.  “If those aren’t lies…”  Okay, so she panicked.  She wants to tell her mom how amazing he is before she tells her the other stuff, okaaay.  Her mom can be very… “Judgmental?” asks Austin.  No, psychotic. “UN-forgiving,” warns Summer.  Funny how that never came up in all those “my mom is awesome” stories.

 

Sharon shows up at Cassie’s grave.  She tells her Phyllis is back.  “I can’t help but think she’s here to make me pay for something I did!”

 

Jack tells Phyllis she is gorgeous.  “Twelve months of beauty sleep,” she says.  Took off 15 years!  He’s so glad she’s back.  Flirty flirt.  He says he’s been 18 months clean and sober, thanks to her sticking by him.  “Of course I did.  I’d never give up.  That’s not what we do.”  Awkward.  He says he never stopped loving her.  He never stopped hoping for this.  “Phyllis, some things have happened.  You need to know about them.”  “Jack, I know what you’re going to say.”  He looks surprised.

 

Chris says she trusts Paul’s instincts that she questions at every turn, like now.  He thinks Dylan’s innocent, so she agreed to go along with the plan.  But have they stopped to think about what happens of Ian DOESN’T take the bait? How long are they supposed to keep this up?  Avery comes in.  They explain that the ad came out today.  Dylan’s worried because Nikki seems so stressed out.  Paul says Nikki’s a lot tougher than most people think who just go by all her sobbing and wheezing all the time. 

 

Nikki calls from Crimson Lights sounding a little…woozy.  She says she got a text from a number she doesn’t recognize.  It says “I got the message.  I’ll be in touch.”  This could be it, says Paul .  Ian Ward could be making his move!  Nikki asks what she should do.  “NOTHING!” says Chris.  Not a thing.  Just sit there in Dylan’s coffee shop where Ian could never possibly find you.  Paul says they’ll have a guard on her 24/7.  “Thass good to know,” says Nikki.  Paul asks if she’s okay.  She’s FINE!  Everything is WONDERFUL!  She hangs up and takes a swig from one of her mini bottles.  “Aaaah.”

 

Nick calls Victor, but he ignores it.  Nick leaves a message.  He doesn’t know where Victor is or what he’s up to, but he needs him to call.  It’s important!  Dr. J hands Victor a file:  the results of the paternity test.  Guess he’ll read it on Monday.

 

Sharon tells Cassie that Nick tried to convince her that The Secret won’t matter.  But she knows it does because she feels so guilty!  “What could this awful thing be?”  She flashes back to telling Phyllis she spends an awful lot of time here, talking to Cassie.  “Yeah, and I heard what you were saying.”  Sharon flinches!

 

Phyllis and Jack hold hands.  She says she remembers him being at her side.  He kept hoping she could hear him.  He kept looking for a sign.  She says she fought so hard to let him know she felt his presence.  She heard all the beautiful things he said…including when he asked her to marry him.  “I heard your proposal, Jack.  And the answer’s yes!”  He’s like….oh.  So, where's my ring?

[peacheslatour]

 

“It was a new world when I met you. But now the past leads nowhere.

I thought it said "path"  You know, wink, wink, hint, hint...

 

but she wouldn’t have to if Kelly didn’t put her mom’s stuff in storage, like in Alaska, or wherever it is.

Lulz!

[peach]

Ah, it was probably "path," it wasn't worth rewinding.

[movinon]

They are so not done with phick..

I am a fan of both Sharon and Phyllis and think the show really needs the Phyllis character - but please, please, please, not with that perpetual teenager again.  I don't necessarily want her to stay with Jack, but I want to see a real battle with Kelly first.  Somebody different, preferably new, like Joe Clark, or even Adam - someone with an edge.  I like Sharon with Nick, because it drives Victor crazy. Nick is the father of her children (I don't know why anyone else would want him), and I can't wait to see how pissed off Victor will be if they keep them together.  

[Joimiaroxeu]

Paul says they’ll have a guard on her 24/7.  “Thass good to know,” says Nikki.  Paul asks if she’s okay.  She’s FINE!  Everything is WONDERFUL!  She hangs up and takes a swig from one of her mini bottles.  “Aaaah.”

Hopefully that guard can also step in as a chauffeur. Tipsy Nikki is funny and all but I don't like the idea of her driving around while in a state of drunkenness. That's probably not going to end well.

[crowsworks]

Hopefully that guard can also step in as a chauffeur. Tipsy Nikki is funny and all but I don't like the idea of her driving around while in a state of drunkenness. That's probably not going to end well.

Betcha she plows down Kelly in some sort of karmic klunker. Kelly will be lurching around having Bad-Dad flashbacks and get the deer in the headlights treatment. Adam will probably find her.

 

"Look Kelly, a puppy. Chase it."

[peach]

Mon, Oct 13    Jack is Jack

 

Abby comes to visit Victoria in her new office, which is bright and modern compared to Victor’s.  She has a table style desk with no drawers or filing cabinets, and it pretty much looks like a really big living room.  I guess Vic is going to do all the big deals in here.  Abby’s impressed that she got away with no portrait of TGVN.   She asks how she’s doing babywise and Vicky tells her to relax, her shoes are safe.  Abby’s hoping for some good news like Vicky and Billy are getting back together. 

 

Chelsea comes to visit Billy at the Abbott manse.  She has her hair in a tightly pulled back bun that I just don’t understand.  She asks him if everything’s okay with the baby.  Of course it is, he told her last night that it was just false labor.  She’s like, yeaaaah, and then she woke up and he was gone.  No text, no note, no phone call.  She thought he must have rushed off to the hospital.  Oh, he just had to take care of some stuff at the house like pouting over dead Adam. 

 

She asks if he’s helping out Jack since he’s at the hospital with Phyllis.  Omg, Billy can’t help JACK out, he has to figure that shit out for himself.   “You, too,” he says.  Chelsea’s confused.  “I need to figure something out?”  Yeah, she does.  She never answered his big jealous baby question about what she’d do if Adam came home.  She’s like, he’s f’ing dead, Billy, this is stupid.  “You’re wrong, Chels.  Adam is still very much with us.”   Chelsea looks at him in disbelief that is overshadowed by her distracting hair.

 

Replay of Phyllis saying her answer to Jack’s proposal is yes.  He’s waited so long for that answer, and the smile that goes with it.  “Then why aren’t you smiling back?”  He says so many nights he dreamed of this.  This is no dream, says Phyllis.  “I’m back.  Let’s get married, Jack.”  He stares.

 

Kelly sits at the bar working, and Lily asks what she’s doing there.  Isn’t she supposed to be there?  Apparently Kelly has things mostly done, so Lily thinks maybe Kelly should take some time off.  Kelly says that’s sweet, but she’s not going to hide from her problems.  Stitch walks up.  “Yeah, that hiding thing is not really my sister’s thing.”  She loves outing people.  Lily leaves them to talk.  Kelly tells Stitch that Jack’s fiancée woke up.  He asks where that leaves her.  “Guess,” says Kelly.

 

Neil sits with Lily and Cane blah blah.  Cane mentions that Devon is out of town for a few days, which the nosy Winters have to speculate on.  Lily says he probably took his secret lover on a romantic getaway.  Cane is about to choke on his coffee.  Neil asks why she’s still going on about that, and Lily says after some badgering she got Devon to admit there’s a special lady in his life.

 

Devon is semi-stalking the special lady, because Hilary is surprised to see him at her hotel room door.  He couldn’t stay away.  Zzzzz.

 

Jack says he’s surprised Phyllis heard his proposal.  The doctors said she probably couldn’t hear anything, but he had to take his shot.  He had to let her know she was loved before she went away.  “And that you’d be waiting,” points out Phyllis.  Jack whispers that he owes her an apology.  He proposed badly, she wasn’t even conscious.  She said it had all the elements, and the perfect ring.  Yeah, about that, did she leave it in the clinic?  

 

Phyllis is like, ummmm, now it’s her turn to apologize.  She had to pawn the beautiful ring because she when she left the clinic she didn’t have a wallet or credit cards or anything.  “WHY didn’t you CALL ME when you woke up?” Why did she risk her health like that?  Geez, she was TRYING to get home to Summer and him, why would she CALL him?  I guess that explanation is good enough for him.  Let’s just forget the wedding crashing.  She says they can just buy back the ring and put it back on her finger.  “Only this time, you’re not going to have to wait a year to hear me say yes.” 

 

Kelly explains to Stitch that Jack wasn’t looking for anything serious.  He TOLD her his heart would always belong to Phyllis.  Stitch is like, uh, then why did he ask you to move in with him?  Well, he didn’t think Phyllis was going to get any better, so she might as well redecorate his whole house!  But he’s a good guy, Stitch, SHE’S the one who fell too hard, too fast.  He frowns and says, I guess there’s nothing like hindsight when you’re dealing with the 1%.  “Victoria?” asks Kelly.  Stitch says he knew he was the rebound guy, and that…STORM MODE IN ST LOUIS preempts Y&R!  Is this conversation worth watching online?  I think not. It’s windy in Raccoon, IL if anyone’s interested.

 

Lily speculates wildly about Devon’s woman.  What if she’s only interested in his money?  She wants Cane to find out what’s going on.  He’s like whoa, what do I have to do with it?  Because he’s the BIL, and she wants Devon to be as happy as they are.  Gush, vom.  Neil admits the love of a good woman can make a difference, the same woman in this case.

 

Hilary lets Devon in.  They have a boring, awkward conversation.  She thought they weren’t going to do this, Devon.  He asks if Neil told her they got arrested in a bar fight.  “You took my blind, recovering alcoholic husband to a bar??”  It was for Nick Newman’s bachelor party.  Oh, well, that’s okay then.  Devon sucks the life out of the funniest story of the year, droning about everyone going to lockup, including Nick and Sharon, and Cane and Lily. 

 

Hilary laughs. How did she miss this?!   She’s been too busy with work to catch up on GC Buzz.  He’s like, didn’t Neil call you and tell you?  Umm…no.  Does she miss Neil?  Yes, she says firmly.  Devon slooowly and sadly walks around, and she admits it’s been kind of relief not having to deal with Neil’s calls, because she feels guilty for being unfaithful.  “Why don’t we stop?” says Devon.   They have, says Hilary.  No, he means stop hiding the truth.  THE TRUTH THAT THEY ARE THE MOST BORING COUPLE EVER. 

 

No, she’s not going to hurt Neil.  Waah, but poor baby Devon HURTS.  What about that?  “Do you?” he asks, running his hand down her arm.  She says, Devon, this attraction--  He’s like “attraction?”  He demands she find a better word.  Snoozefest?  Is that the word?  No, the word is LOVE, you guys.  They kiss.

 

Billy whines about how Chelsea thinks about Adam in dreams, and saying another man’s name in bed is PRETTY BAD.  Chelsea says, “You’re UNBELIEVABLE!  I was sleeping!!”  This is the kind of red flag that means RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, Chelsea.  Billy accuses that she’s still attached to Adam, he’s constantly on her mind! 

 

Chelsea says, “He was a huge part of my life, Billy!  But I’m in a relationship with YOU now.”  Oh yeah, well last night was not the FIRST time that she imagined Adam walking through the door.  She’s like, so you don’t turn around when you hear a little girl laughing, and expect to see Delia?!  Oh…now she did it.  That was just a sucker punch to the gut.  He just stares at her with martyred disgust.  Chelsea apologizes.  Ugh, RUN. 

 

Billy says she’s right, he’s always thinking about DeeDee.  Thanks for making his point.  She asks what IS his point, exactly.  That’s he’s a narcissistic, emotional black hole.  Oh, wait, it’s that even though Adam is dead, she can’t stop hoping and wishing he might somehow come back into her life.  “I want him to come back into CONNOR’S life” you selfish jerk.  “Because no matter what you think of Adam on a personal level, he LOVED his SON.  You can’t deny that.”  Waaah, what about my little girl that I left alone in the car?  Screw that baby Connor. He bites! 

 

While Chelsea knocks herself out to preserve Adam’s memory for her son, he’s got the image of Delia by the road seared in his mind.  So he needs to blame his issues on her.   He cries about remembering begging Delia to hold on, and it doesn’t get any easier.  He thought he could handle this, that she was married to the man who killed his daughter.  But it turns out he can’t, even after kidnapping and killing him to get even.  Chelsea’s still just Adam’s widow.  But thanks for the sex, and putting your life on hold to be my emotional tampon.

 

Jack takes the pawn ticket and says he’ll take care of it.  When, asks Phyllis.  Soon, says Jack.  HOW soon?  The sooner he unpawns the ring, she says, the sooner they can make his dreams a reality.  “You just need to rest right now.”  Again with the rest.  They’ll talk about the future when she gets out of the hospital.  She asks how he did it?  How did he get through the last long twelve months of a one-sided relationship with a lump.  He had to think she might never wake up, but here she is.  “Thank God,” whispers Jack. 

 

Phyllis gets emotional and frankly, kind of worried.  “Please just give your brain and heart an update.  We will have a future together!”  He says okay, and she adds, “That is, if you still want to marry me?”  Jack says “I’ve never stopped loving you, Red,” which doesn’t really answer that question.  “I love you, too, very much,” she says earnestly.  Michael interrupts!  Phyllis is happy to see him, and they hug!  She says she just accepted Jack’s marriage proposal, which is an effective method of cheating a little bit.  Michael looks at Jack, like, hmmm.

 

<STORM MODE. > The weather people are going to pop in on me whenever needed, which is hopefully while Devon and Hilary make out.

 

Phyllis notices Michael’s a little slow on the uptake, but he recovers and says Best Wishes and all that jazz.  Jack says he’ll escape and let them catch up.  “While you get my ring?” asks Phyllis.  He just says not to over exert herself.  “We don’t want a setback,” he says pointedly to Michael. Subtle Michael says he’ll make sure the patient stays calm and relaxed.  Phyllis looks at them like, um, I’m not stupid. 

 

Jack goes out in the hallway and rubs his face for a minute.  Then he calls Kelly.  She finally answers this time.  He sort of demands she meet him in his office, one hour.  She claims she’s kinda busy.  He says they need to talk.  She’s like, super.

 

Phyllis chides Michael for his lame response.  “I get engaged, and that’s all I get?  A limp Congrats?”  That seems like kind of a mean thing to say to MICHAEL.  He promises her a great big present.  Phyllis says she thought he liked Jack, and wanted them to be together.  “Jack is Jack,”  says Michael.  More amazing subterfuge tactics from the greatest attorney ever.  Phyllis squints and says something’s off.  Michael’s just still trying to wrap his head around her being back, awake, talking like a normal person almost!  Phyllis says she came back just in time.

 

Abby thinks Victoria’s marriage fell apart just because of Billy’s grief.  Vicky says she’s rewriting history, she and Billy and had plenty of problems before Delia died, like his overwhelming stupidity, and gambling and lies.   And then the one night stand with Kelly was a game changer.  Which means Abby is right, that was a direct result of Delia’s death!  Vicky says it wasn’t about KELLY, it was about Billy shutting her out. 

 

Abby thinks Victoria is just looking for reasons to JUSTIFY pushing Billy away.  BESIDES the stupidity and gambling and lies and cheating, what is her problem?!  Vicky says never go into psychiatry.  Well, Abby knows that Vicky loves Billy and always will because they have A Connection.  Pushing Billy away will not change that.

 

Chelsea is mystified.  “You can’t be with ME, because I was with Adam?”  He says there are just too many reminders that didn’t bother him when he threw himself at her every time Victoria told him to piss off.  Chelsea’s pissed.  “What do you want me to DO, Billy?  Do you want me throw away all his photos?  Do you want me never to utter Adam’s name again??  When Connor grows up and asks about his father, should I just say ‘no comment?’”  Chelsea, pleads stupid Billy.  “Or what if, God forbid, Connor grows up to LOOK like Adam, should I just ship him off?” “I don’t want this to be bother me, okaaay,” whines Billy, “But it does!”

 

Chelsea asks if he thinks all his moaning and groaning about Victoria was easy for her?  Well, it wasn’t!  And she was there for him as a friend, uh, MORE than a friend.  And she NEVER once called him out on it.  “Victoria didn’t kill your kid,” sneers Billy.  Or her husband.  “I just don’t understand how you can still love him.”  WAAH.  Chelsea says maybe because he died before she had a chance to stop loving him.  But she does hate what he did.  She doesn’t know how things would be if he were alive, but it DOESN’T MATTER, he’s gone.  Well, it matters to Billy.  Because when he misses Delia, that is because of Adam.  So he should be able to kill him and take his wife and kid WITHOUT all this “feelings for Adam” bullshit.  Who do they think they are?  THIS IS ABOUT BILLY’S FEELZ!

 

Lily still wants Kelly to take time off.  Kelly insists she would never let her personal life interfere with her work performance, WHILE SHE DRINKS A GIANT MARTINI AT WORK.  She admits Jack called and wants to see her.  Lily says Jack and Phyllis have history, but he’s with HER now, so maybe the talk will be a good thing.  Kelly finds that extremely optimistic.  Lily just wants everyone to be happy, which I guess is why employees are allowed to drink on the job.  She’s even willing to let her dad be with Hilary if keeps a smile on his face.

 

Cane says something I can’t understand even after rewinding it three times.  Something about Neil putting on a brave face.  Neil admits it was hard at first, but then he had fun at the bachelor party.  Cane says it’s not a party til someone gets handcuffed and thrown in the back of a cop car!  Neil laughs and says it was the first time since the accident he felt like he got treated like everyone else.  “They threw me in next to all the common criminals like Jack Abbott!”  They joke about Lily doing all the fighting for Cane with her ghetto purse attack because she’s a strong-willed woman.  Neil says it’s a good thing Hilary is a strong-willed woman or he’d probably be divorced by now.  Cane’s like, ugh.

 

Hilary gets out of bed from her tryst with Devon and says they can’t keep doing this.  Sneaking behind Neil’s back is wrong.  Devon says then let’s stop sneaking.  No, she’s not going to leave Neil.  “My dad does not want you to stay with him out of PITY.  He’s made that clear.”  Right, he totally wants you to leave him for his son.  Hilary says when he asked for a divorce, he didn’t mean it. 

 

Devon insists Neil wants her to live HER life, one that doesn’t revolve around being his caregiver, but around Devon.  Hilary says Neil is not a burden.  Devon claims that if Neil knew how she really felt, he would tell her to GO!  He’d say leave!  I’m sure he’d say a few other things, too.  Devon says they should show Neil RESPECT by telling him they’re doing it.  That’s what he wants!  “That’s what YOU want,” says Hilary.  Devon argues.  She’s like, it would kill Neil to know I left him for his son.  DUH.

 

Victoria bores the baby.  

 

Abby comes stomping into Jabot to find Stitch waiting on the couch.  “Why are you always EARLY?” she gripes.  “Because you never are,” he says.  Blah blah, Abby was too busy going to weddings and birth coaching to order lab equipment.  Excuses, excuses.  Stitch is shocked.  Vicky went into labor???  Nah, false labor, but it was OKAY, because BILLY was at the hospital to calm her down.  Abby smirks.  Stitch is like, how did BILLY know?  Abby smirks harder and says she thought the baby’s FATHER should be there. 

 

Stitch says he knows she’s Team Billy but that could still be his kid.  Whatever, it doesn’t matter to Abby, because either way, he’s out of there, and Billy and Victoria will get back together like they always do.  So does he want to go over the fragrance pitch?  You know what, NO.  She doesn’t need his help, apparently no one does!  He stomps out.  Abby smirks hardest of all.  Mommy is going to be angry.

 

Stitch RACES over to Victoria’s office.  He heard SECONDHAND that she went into labor.   She says she would have called him but it turned out to be a false alarm.  He says he’s tried to respect her space, but he insists on being kept in the loop about this.  If he’s the father, he has the right to know what’s going on with his child.  Vicky fidgets and says she agrees, and she has no intention of keeping him away from the baby if he’s the dad.  He’s like maybe right now, but that could change.  He can’t take that chance, so he’s decided to get a lawyer.  Victoria’s stunned.  Doesn’t he still worship the Special Snowflake who ignores him?  “WHY?  I told you—“  Stitch says he needs more than her word to protect his place in this baby’s life.   Victoria stares hard.

 

Chelsea says, “You think Adam was a coward?  Takes one to know one.”   Billy’s like, wait, what?  “I am NOTHING like him.”  Oh, really, because Adam was running scared that night and making excuses for his behavior.  Kind of like Billy is doing right now, by using this STUPID DREAM as an excuse to end things with her now.  She’s like, “Why would you even bother to pretend we had something serious when you were just looking for an excuse to bail the entire time?”

 

Billy’s confused by her tactics.  She says he is STILL hung up on Victoria, and if he didn’t use this excuse now, he’d end things later when she has the baby anyway.  It’s inevitable.  He’s like, wait!  “To hear more reasons why my dead husband makes me UNSUITABLE for you?  No, thank you!”  She starts to leave, and he blurts out, “Chelsea, you’re right!”  He really likes her again if she’s going to reject him.  She stares.

 

Michael tells Phyllis lots of things have changed for the better for the Baldwins.  Fen’s in college, he wants to go to law school, and best of all, he and Lauren are ENJOYING the empty nest.  He chuckles like a very dorky creeper.  Dr. Botkin calls and kills the mood, but Michael ignores it.  He asks what it’s like to wake up and find out you’ve been unconscious for a whole year.  “Shocking,” says Phyllis.  Blah blah, she’s not putting her life on hold.  Why not be happy now?

 

Jack finds Abby in his office, but she’s leaving.  She can fill him in later.  She’ll have to fill in Stitch, too, since he didn’t bother to stick around after she mentally abused him.  Jack sits down to look at Phyllis’ unpawned ring.  He gets distracted by a phone call and lays the ring on the desk.  Uh-oh.  Kelly walks in and sees it.  She’s suppressing a huge grin, and Jack puts the pieces together.  He’s like, omg, about this…

 

Kelly is overflowing and says he doesn’t have to prove ANYTHING to her just because Phyllis is back.  That’s good, I guess.  She blathers on about how she was really worried about how that would affect their relationship, but it’s enough for her to know that he loves her!  He wants her!  Jack’s like…shit.   She gushes that they don’t have to rush into marriage, though!  Then it’s her lucky day.  He’s like, ummmm…. It finally hits her.  Oh.. that ring isn’t for her, is it?  Jack stares.

 

Neil tells Lily and Cane he really wants to do something special for Hilary like maybe finish up the deathtrap house.  Lily’s like, omg, why?  He thinks he can turn the bad memories into good ones.  He second guesses that immediately.  He feels like he needs to do SOMETHING though, after acting so crazy and even asking her for a divorce.  He’s glad she didn’t take him up on it.

 

Devon gets dressed and whines about not being happy about her decision, but he’ll respect it.  “Then we’re agreed.  This thing ends here.”  Okay, well after one last kiss, which of course turns into more of the whole thing again.

 

Billy admits he’s being a coward, and it’s not really because she said Adam in her sleep.  It’s because he feels like he’s letting down his little girl.  “Do you think she KNOWS, Chelsea, that I’m spending time in the house of her killer?  That I’m hanging out with his wife and his son who has her eyes?”  Chelsea’s like, omg, you’re getting weird.  But she doesn’t want to lose him.   He doesn’t want to lose her either.  It’s Chelsea that he wants.  They kiss.  She loves that he cares what Delia would think.  She has good news, she spent a lot of time with Delia because of Chloe, and Delia thought she was pretty cool.  Problem solved!  More kissing!

 

Victoria tells Stitch it’s a little soon to be thinking about custody.  They don’t even know if the baby is his.  Maybe because she won’t take a damn DNA test.  He says if she HAD gone into labor, would she have told him??  She stammers.  He’s like, so, probably not.  And why would she with Abby and Billy around.  Vicky says she didn’t CALL Billy.  That doesn’t change the fact that Stitch is always the one on the outside looking in, and he’s TIRED of it.  “If you want to be on your own, FINE.  But if this child is mine, I WILL be a  hands-on father.” 

 

He starts to walk away, and Victoria GRABS HIM.  “Maybe I don’t WANT to be on my own,” she says, and grabs him by the HEAD and forces a kiss on him.  Then she pulls away.  “I’m sorry, Ben,” says says tearfully, “I shouldn’t have done that.”  He’s totally confused.  Welcome to the Newmans, where the manipulation never ends.

 

Michael tells Phyllis the worst thing that could happen to any of them is to lose her again, so why push it.  She says she can never get back the time she missed.  More than a year was stolen from her.   Amazing investigator Michael says her fall was an accident. Phyllis morphs into her alien croaking. “I just meant, I can never get that time back.  But I can try my damndest to piece my life back to what it was before.”

 

Jack picks up the ring, and Kelly is all flustered.  She had thought he was going to end things, but then she saw the ring….ugh, she should have trusted her gut!  She jumps up.  Jack says he’s sorry!  She tries to cover and say they always said they weren’t going to get serious (but we did!), and it’s okay (please let me explain!), and she hopes he and Phyllis will be very happy!  She runs out before she starts crying.  Jack sits down.  He stares at the ring and sighs.

 

(edited for clarity and typos)

Edited October 14, 2014 by peach

[peacheslatour]

Good one peach, for an incredibly boring episode, you make it sound exciting.

 

emotional tampon.

OMG!!  I'm so stealing this.

[peach]

Good one peach, for an incredibly boring episode, you make it sound exciting.

OMG!!  I'm so stealing this.

Ugh, it was torture!  It just kept going and going.  It took extra time to try to make it be about anything.

 

For the record, the emotional tampon was from a Sam Kinison routine!  lol

[peach]

From the Urban Dictionary.  http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Emotional%20Tampon

 

It's supposed to apply to how a woman treats a man, but it clearly fits Billy.  Only, he gets sex out of it, too.

[jodo]

Ugh, it was torture!  It just kept going and going.  It took extra time to try to make it be about anything.

 

For the record, the emotional tampon was from a Sam Kinison routine!  lol

 

Well unlike you I/we have the luxury of FF, the dialogue is unbearable!  Devon and Hilary are like robots, do they even like each other?!  Their scenes are completely sexless and yes we know Hilary is young with a good body and Devon works out but they have no chemistry with ANYONE!  It would take me weeks to realize I hadn't seen them on screen for a while...if ever.  

 

As a sidenote I started following MTS on Twitter yesterday and she gave me a welcome with a hug/kiss!  Nice touch!   

Edited October 14, 2014 by jodo

[Runningwild]

That's awesome, jodo! She seems like a nice person.

[peacheslatour]

That's awesome, jodo! She seems like a nice person.

She does- I read an interview with her where she said if Nikki was a real person, she wouldn't want to know her.

[peach]

Tue, Oct 14      What Delia Knows For Sure

 

Jack is trying to reach Billy on the phone, to no avail.  Traci and Abby worry.  Wherever Billy is, there’s no escaping what today is.  They all can’t believe it’s been a year since Delia died.  Traci blah blah Colleen.  Ashley arrives.  Jack says Billy will be SO glad she’s there.  She had to be there, and I guess she also had to wear her black bra of mourning beneath a sheer blouse. 

 

Billy’s at his ex-house, smiling at photos of him with Delia.  Victoria comes in and asks if he’s okay.  He reminisces about that perfect last morning and how excited she was about being in the Wizard Of Oz play.  The principal dedicated a garden to Delia this morning.  Billy and Victoria are sad.  She hands him an envelope.  “It’s from Delia.”

 

Cut to the shrine at Delia’s death site.  It’s filled with flowers and such.  Someone approaches.

 

Jill and Esther walk through the park while Esther sobs about how beautifully the cemetery keeps the grave, and that the grass must be so green from all the tears that have fallen.  Jill thinks it’s okay to be sarcastic right now because it’s Esther.  Who’s grieving for her granddaughter.  Jill acts like she’s suffering through Esther’s babbling about flowers, etc, and Esther says she knows Delia loves the little pony she left with her.  Jill shouts, “OMG, it’s been under the ground for a year, it’s DISINTEGRATED!”    WTH, Jill?  Esther starts bawling, and Jill says she’s SO SORRY, she doesn’t know WHY she said such a horrible thing, and frankly, neither do I.  They hug and cry melodramatically.

 

Kevin sits in Crimson Lights, looking truly agonized, staring at a photo of Chloe and Delia.

 

Chelsea’s on the phone, insisting she needs flowers delivered TODAY, so she waited til just now to order them.  The card should say “She’ll never be forgotten.”  She strokes New Connor’s hair.  New Connor chews on stuff because he’s not obsessed with the boom overhead, and because Connor likes biting things.

 

It’s Chloe at the shrine!  She picks up Delia’s photo and says, “I couldn’t stay away, baby.  Not today.”  No word on if she has a pass or she escaped.  She looks great.

 

Kelly takes out her rage on a club employee.  Stitch walks up and says, tough day, huh?  SHE JUST WISHES PEOPLE WOULD DO THEIR JOBS!  AND STAY IN COMAS.  Stitch thinks it’s not like her to yell at the staff.  She rants about how complicated her job is, OKAY?  He asks if this is really about Jack.  Well, yes, but this is also the first anniversary of Delia’s death, so the servants better get their shit together. 

 

Stitch is like, ahh, okay, that explains the weirdness going around.  Victoria’s been more confusing than usual.  Of course, he thinks this means he should go over and SEE HOW SHE’S DOING.  I’m sure grief-stricken Billy  would really appreciate that.  Kelly thinks they should both keep their distance.  She’s less dumb today.

 

Ashley was stunned to hear Phyllis was back.  “The miracle we’d all been hoping for,” says Jack without enthusiasm.  “Except for Kelly,” says Abby with delight.   Ashley’s like, so how are you handing that??  Jack admits he’s not.  Traci explains that the doctors don’t want to overwhelm her.  “My God, you mean she doesn’t know?” asks Ashley.  Jack says Phyllis wants to pick up right where she left off.  DUH.  Ashley asks what Jack wants.  He doesn’t know.  But today isn’t about him, it’s about Billy.

 

Esther and Jill feel better after a good cry.  Jill’s going to the Abbotts to be with Billy.  Esther says she offered to go to California to spend this time with Chloe, but she refused.  Jill’s sorry.  They’re both glad that Chloe is getting help.  “You don’t lose a child without everything in your life changing,” says Jill.

 

Chloe tells Delia she had to come there to say she’ll never forget her, and discuss lovely things about Delia, including that she was wiser than all of them, which is true.  She says she wants Delia to rest easy now, because Mommy’s going to be okay.  Kevin sees her!  “Chloe??”  They stare at each other.  “You’re home,” he says, but she won’t even let him hug her, like he must have germs.  He steps back.

 

Victoria says the envelope is from Delia’s teacher, who found an old assignment of hers and thought they’d like to have it.  It’s called What I Know For Sure, and it’s all about Delia’s favorite things, and how beautiful mommy is, and about Daddy.  Billy gets torn up, and Victoria has to read that Daddy is handsome, etc.  When you remember your family, you smile again.  Vicky lays her head on Billy’s shoulder.

 

Jill gets to the Abbotts.  She panics that Billy isn’t there and wants to start calling around.  Traci convinces her that Billy will be along soon.  “That’s good,” says Jill, “because that news we wanted to share?  It’s happened.”  Jack smiles.  I have no idea what she’s talking about. I hope it doesn’t involve a damn music box.  Colin is MIA, I guess.

 

Chelsea tells Connor about the little girl everyone loved, and once she was gone, her parents decided to share a special part of her with Connor.

 

Billy can’t read anymore of Delia’s paper.  He says maybe another day.  Vicky asks if she shouldn’t have given it to him, but Billy assures her it was perfect.  He’s going to head on out.  Billy says he’s sorry, for everything.  The whole last year, he didn’t handle it the way he should have, and he still doesn’t know what the right way would have been.  He’s the kind of guy that needs guidance…but he handled it all wrong.  Vicky sobs and says he doesn’t owe her any more apologies.   He leaves.  Okay, that made me feel sad.

 

Billy goes outside…and sees Delia.  Seriously, show, more dead kid hallucinations?  I hope Victor didn’t find a Delia twin.  Billy takes it in stride, though.  He says, “Hey kid, what are you doing here?”  “I’ve come to help you, Daddy.”  He smiles.  Somehow HE won’t end up in the nuthouse, you know, that’s for wimmen.

 

Kevin and Chloe think it’s great to see each other.  He hears she’s been making a lot of progress.  “That’s what they say,” says Chloe.  He asks if she’s staying with her mom.   She just got a 24 hour pass, and decided to slip in and out of town without anyone knowing.  “Oops,” says Kevin.  And uh, hey, mind if I SEE that pass?  Just kidding.  He promises to still be her enabler.  He says no one has forgotten Delia.

 

“She loved you so much, Kevin.”  He says she loved the two of them together.  He says it kind of makes ya wonder, maybe the two of them meeting up like this wasn’t a coincidence.  “You could be right,” says Chloe.  “I don’t think Delia would have liked the way I treated you.  Especially the way I sent those divorce papers.”  She isn’t proud of that.  And she thinks there are some things he deserves to hear.

 

“I want you to know that you couldn’t have been more supportive after Dee Dee.  NO ONE fought harder for me to get well.  You did everything possible.  And you took it when I RAILED on you for caring about me.  And I HATE that I did that.”  Kevin says she doesn’t have to apologize.   She says she really does, because she was in a really bad place, and he was just trying to help her.  But she needed a professional, and to get AWAY from this place.

 

He says he could have gone with her, but she says he COULDN’T because she would have resented him for it. “So you don’t resent me now?” he asks.  She sighs.  “Kevin, I LOVE you….but not in the way that you want.”  He says when she got on the plane, she led him to believe there was still a chance for them.  She admits she should have told him then, but she just didn’t want to disappoint him.  Also, she was distracted by sperm stealing. 

 

She didn’t know how to deal with it.  Kevin says after she COULD deal with it, she couldn’t pick up a phone?  Not once?  She gets weepy and says it’s not something she wanted to talk about over the phone!  He asks why does he get the feeling there’s another reason she’s been avoiding him?  She looks at him guiltily.

 

Abby worries about Uncle Billy not being there yet.  He walks up to the door.  With Delia.  She asks him why he’s so nervous.  Maybe because he sees dead people.  He gets down on one knee and says he just doesn’t like everyone making a fuss over him.  Should you really lie to kids like that?  Delia explains that family is what keeps you strong, isn’t that what he always told her?  “You are SO wise,” says Billy.  “How’d you get to be so smart?” Probably from hanging out with God. 

 

Billy finally walks inside.  Luckily no one saw him talking to invisible children.  “Oh, thank God!” cries Jill, hugging him.  He apologizes for freaking everybody out.  Hugs.  They have news to share.  Jack and Jill have been shepherding a little project to go along with the Delia Foundation.  It’s happening now because of a generous donation from Victor and Nikki Newman.  “The Black Knight is involved?” asks Billy.  Billionaire Jack jokes that he’d go to Vlad the Impaler for money if it got this thing off the ground. Or you know, he could just ask himself?  

 

Jill says it’s a children’s theater!  So you can always remember how Delia died the night of her play!  Now other little girls can become actresses instead of Delia.  Billy cries.  They ask how they can help him.  Billy says he appreciates everything they’ve done, but he’s had a lot of help today.

 

Victoria shows up at the club to have a word with Kelly.  “Does that surprise you?” asks Victoria.   It sure does, today of all days.  Serious Victoria says today’s brought up a lot of memories, and made her realize she needs to speak to her.  Kelly understands first anniversaries of death, and that emotions run high…maybe Vicky should talk about this some other day.  No. This is exactly the right time.

 

Kelly would rather not get into anything with Victoria.  That’s not Vicky’s intention.  She read Delia’s composition and felt like Delia was shaking her and telling her not to waste any more of her life being angry and frustrated.  Life is too short.  And she thinks they’ve all suffered enough..all the anger and the blame.  “I honestly think we need to let it go.”  Stitch overhears.

 

Billy says he spent the whole night staring at the ceiling and dreading the damn sunrise.  And then it happened.  The sun came up, and the world didn’t come to an end.  He made it through the morning and the ceremony.  Traci interrupts and says there’s no right or wrong way to do this.  Blah blah.  “Be kind to yourself.”  Billy just wants Delia to be proud of him.  He has stuff to do, but he wants to leave them with Delia’s PhD thesis about family.

 

Chloe tells Kevin she already told him why she’s been avoiding him.  She can’t fool Kevin, though, he thinks there’s more to it.  “Like what?” says Chloe, “Like I’ve been…sleeping with my doctor?”  “Are you?” asks Kevin.  Omg, is she?  She turns away.  “Maybe you’re not doing as well as you say you are.   Maybe that’s why you’ve been hiding.”  She says she hasn’t been HIDING, she’s been in the hospital.

 

Kevin reminds her that right before they put her away, she went on and on about having a baby with Billy to create a new Delia.  And before that, she kidnapped Connor to be her replacement.  He thinks issues like that take a long time to work through.  That’s why she’s using all her energy to heal, and she’s sorry she had to cut him out of her life to do that.  So what about AFTER her therapy?  No, she knows she is GOING to START OVER, and it’s not going to be in Genoa City, and it’s not going to be with him. It will probably be in Port Charles like everyone else.  He says so after all of their years together…this is it?  She says it has to be.  “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Kevin, I just have nothing left to give you.”  Bye.  He’s crushed.  Again.

 

Stitch listens while Kelly says it really means a lot to her, Victoria’s willingness to put all this behind them.  Vicky says she doesn’t think they will ever be friends, but the baby is coming soon, and if she ends up being Aunt Kelly, she doesn’t want any lingering negativity.  Kelly thanks her.  It helps right now, considering Phyllis woke up and ruined her life.   Stitch joins them, so Kelly excuses herself.

 

Stitch says he heard Victoria making peace with Kelly.  He knows it couldn’t have been easy for her.  Vicky says it’s easier than living in the past. She’s tired of letting it dictate her life.  “So that kiss yesterday…was that you moving forward, or saying goodbye?”  Vicky says knows she’s been giving him mixed signals since she found out about his killer past, and realizes she shouldn’t do that anymore.   Stitch frowns a little, since maybe mixed signals are better than no signals.

 

The Abbotts all cry over Delia’s dissertation.  Jack says it came at the right time.  Delia’s definitely looking over all of them, and Uncle Billy.  And then some.  Ashley wonders what the future holds for Billy.  “He’s going to get back together with Victoria!” insists obsessed Abby.  “No matter who the father of the baby turns out to be.”  Traci thinks Chelsea will have something to say about that.  Jill freaks out.  Chelsea’s relationship with Billy is just a FLING!  “He’s in love with VICTORIA.  Chelsea’s not in the same LEAGUE with Victoria.”  But she fixes backs. 

 

Jack says he’s spent time with Chelsea, and there’s more to her than they think.  “She’s a con artist,” says Abby.  “WAS a con artist,” corrects Jack.  “Do people like that ever really change?”asks honest Mrs. Colin Atkinson.  Jack says she might want to ask herself the same question!  He’s seen how Billy has turned to Chelsea time and again for friendship and hot sex, and she’s been there for him.  Jill throws her hands up.  “Are you actually saying you want to see him with Thatwoman??”  He’s saying he wants Billy with the best woman for HIM.  Whoever that may be!

 

Billy goes to Delia’s shrine.  She comes too.  She just wants him to be happy.  He says how about they just go for happy thoughts the rest of the day.  “Like  Halloween!” she says.  They discuss Halloween costumes.  She thinks he should be a zombie pirate or a werewolf astronaut.  He asks what she wants to be.  I’m pretty sure she’s going to be a ghost.  But she says she just wants to be his little girl.  He says that’s perfect, and they put their heads together like in their photos.  “Happy thoughts, Daddy.”  Yeah, happy, insane thoughts, Dee.

 

Jack reads more of Delia’s paper.  Jill asks if he can make a copy for her.. and for that ninny, Esther.  Jack thinks Billy’s going to be all right.   Jill asks what about him?  He’s got quite a conundrum on his hands with Kelly/Phyllis, Phyllis/Kelly.  He’s NOT going to talk about that today, especially with Jill.  Hallucinations are running strong today, and Jack hears Delia say, “You have to listen to the truth, even when it’s hard.”  Jill says he hasn’t made up his mind yet.  Jack says he doesn’t want to hurt either one of them.  Jill says someone always gets hurt in these situations, and the longer he takes to make up his mind, the worse it’s gonna be.  She leaves.

 

Ashley hears Delia say that there’s no place like home.  She tells Traci and Abby that her ticket was one way.  She’s home for good!  Did Jack hear that right?!  Yes. “The Abbotts are back together again,” says Ashley. Group hug!

 

Kevin hears Delia say “Everyone says they want you to make good choices, but that’s not as easy as they want you to think.”  He types on his laptop… Maybe it’s time I give in fully to what I’ve become.  So Chloe just turned Kevin gay.  Or maybe just into a cosplayer or something.

 

"So if you’re having trouble,” says Delia, while Chloe walks in the park, “do your best and believe everything will be okay.”  “Dee Dee, I’ve missed you so much, but that horrible emptiness?  It’s finally going to be filled,” she smiles.  She parts her coat so she can rub her giant BABY BUMP that Kevin must be BLIND not to have noticed.  So that’s why she didn’t hug him.  So…did Billy’s swimmers make it to California? 

 

“If you’re mad at someone, don’t stay that way, because you’re wasting time when you could be happy,” says Delia.  Victoria is rushing out of the club, which is possibly a MIXED SIGNAL.  “Wait!” says Stitch.   “What exactly are you saying?”  “I’m saying that I CARE ABOUT YOU,” says Victoria angrily.  “And even though I may not be there yet…I really want to forgive you.”  Stitch smiles and says that’s a start.  She smiles back.

 

“Each day is different,” says Delia, “which means even if you’re having the worst day, you can have a better one tomorrow.”  Billy’s still kneeling at the shrine.  “Are you alone?” asks Chelsea.  He says, no, he’s been spending the day with this amazing little girl.  Chelsea smiles because she doesn’t know he’s being literal.  Man, her hair is super glossy.  He thanks her for the flowers.  He figured she was staying away because of Adam, and probably because everyone hates her.  She says it was hard not to go to him today. 

 

He says the past few months, she’s been an incredible friend.  And yesterday when he said he wanted to have her in his life…he said that because…”Because I love you, Chelsea.”  Her eyes widen in surprise, and they kiss.  He says let’s go, because he has a Halloween costume to work on.

 

The creepy music with latin words starts up, and ADAM’S HAND shows up.  He’s wearing black leather today, and leaves a single lily at Delia’s shrine.  I’ve sort of missed Adam’s Hand.  I guess he heard the whole thing with Billy.

[movinon]

 

So what about AFTER her therapy?  No, she knows she is GOING to START OVER, and it’s not going to be in Genoa City, and it’s not going to be with him. It will probably be in Port Charles like everyone else.

Anything is possibly in Port Charles - it does look a little like old home week over there.  Thank you for the re-cap, and I'm sure it was not an easy one to do - the whole thing was impossibly depressing, just like I expected.  Somewhere, somehow, they have to figure out how to have fun on this show again - not today, obviously, but occasionally.  So many characters on the show were once funny, and JFP has just sucked all the life out of the show.  Still waiting, hoping, occasionally watching, and reading your re-caps.  Thank God for your re-caps.  

[Joimiaroxeu]

she also had to wear her black bra of mourning beneath a sheer blouse.

Really, that was so distracting. And surprising because ED usually doesn't make fashion mistakes like that.

 

“He’s going to get back together with Victoria!” insists obsessed Abby.

How weird to listen to Abby campaigning for her uncle to get back together with her sister while they await the birth of her potential cousin/niece. The Newmans are like the GC Hillbillies.

 

I’m pretty sure she’s going to be a ghost.

Whoosh! Nothing but net.

[bayviewbubba]

I read recently that that's a thing - to wear a colored bra under a white top.  And ED's did have the black lace on the shoulders.  Not my middle age look, but if that's the look, well, she does it pretty well.

[glowlights]

The Abbotts all cry over Delia’s dissertation.

 

LOL! Damn that thing was long... How many boxes of crayons did it take to write?

Edited October 16, 2014 by glowlights

[peach]

Wed, Oct 15     It’s Hard To Tell With Phyllis

 

Great.  We open with Devon and Hilary in bed.  They’ve lost count of how many times they’ve done it, you guys.  As usual, Hilary says they have to stop doing this, until the next time their hands brush in a hallway.  Devon says if this is the last time, they need to make it count.

 

Neil sits in the club and reminds Cane how he wanted to do the perfect special something for Hilary.  Joe Superman interrupts.  Cane introduces him.  Joe needs to ask Cane a favor about the real estate deal.  He looks really stoned, or maybe his contacts are bothering him.

 

Avery the Klutz is spilling files all over her office.  Nick the Hero appears and they banter while he helps her clean them up.  He just came by to check up on her since she has so much going on with her new practice and Dylan’s arrest.  Doesn’t he have enough problems right now?  Avery pretends things are good, and Dylan’s fine.  She asks if he and Sharon have set a new wedding date yet.  Nope, the wedding is on hold…because of her pesky sister.

 

Summer thanks Austin for bringing her coffee at Crimson Lights.  “That’s what friends are for,” says Austin.   She pouts and asks how long he’s going to stay mad at her.  “How long are you going to pretend to your mom that I’m your friend and not your husband?”  She says he knows why she did that.  “I know what you said.”  He’s not buying it.  She whines that he doesn’t understand, her mom is --  Austin is so over it, okay, he’s already heard all the stories about “the wrath of Phyllis.”  Summer promises that is nothing compared to the real thing!  She communes with Satan!  Summer claims she’s just waiting for the right time to tell her.  “The right time’s NOW, Summer.”

 

Lily runs into Kelly.  She says she’s hanging in there.  Yes, she talked to Jack, and everything sucks.  Lily thinks maybe in a few days it will be better.  Kelly promises nothing will have changed, so she’s going back to the mansion to get the rest of her stuff.  “It’s over for us.”  She better damn well hurry.

 

Phyllis is putting on her makeup in the hospital.  She laughs about Summer buying her a whole new wardrobe.  “I’m not sure what was wrong with what was in my closet, but who doesn’t love new clothes!”  Jack’s like...yeaaah.  Phyllis is bright eyed and bushy tailed and ready to get dressed!  Jack needs to put this off as long as possible, so he wants to wait until the DOCTORS say it’s okay.  So, according to Murphy’s Law, they don’t have to wait seven hours for one to show up, and Dr. Boring Shelby, liver/eye/coma specialist walks in.  “Perfect timing!” cries Phyllis.  All her tests look good, so there’s no reason for her to stay.  “Take me home,” she smiles.

 

Joe tells Cane he needs an attorney, someone with an ear to the ground, cut the red tape, see, get the deals done, see?  Cane writes down the number of Wisconsin’s best legal minds, from memory.  I guess it's Avery.  Doesn't Cane know he was married to her?  Joe says it was a pleasure to meet Neil.

 

Kelly’s telling Lily about how totally stupid she was when she thought Phyllis’ engagement ring was for her.  Lily blames herself for telling Kelly to be optimistic.  Letting her drink martinis probably didn’t help either.  Kelly knows it was just because she’s dumb.  She hasn’t talked to Jack since, and won’t listen to his messages, so she’s just going to go get her stuff while everyone’s gone.  Why coordinate anything, I mean, what could go wrong?  Lily offers to go with her, but Kelly thinks she should do this alone.

 

Dr. Shelby says stuff, and Phyllis is ready to leave.  She just needs to go for walks sometimes and she’ll be rehabilitated from her year long coma.  Jack calls Summer and says Mom's getting released and they’ll be home in time to run into Kelly who’s too stupid to call.  Summer decides that if her mom is well enough to come home, then MAYBE she can tell her they’re married.   Maybe.

 

Avery tells Jack she’ll be over to see Phyllis as soon as she can.  Nick’s surprised she’s going back to Jack’s house.  Avery says they were all caught off guard by her return.  Blah blah, Sharon is upset because she thinks Phyllis knows The Secret that will break them apart.  Avery says Phyllis mentioned Sharon getting brain zapped, but she never said anything about a Secret.   She thinks it seems odd that Sharon would have confided in Phyllis.  Nick says he’s told Sharon a MILLION times nothing is going to tear them apart.  Maybe a million and one by my count.  “And she doesn’t believe you?”  She did, until Phyllis came back and now it’s all she thinks about.  It’s driving her…  “Crazy?” finishes Avery.  Well, yeah.  He’s worried the progress she’s made is slipping away.  Thanks Phyllis.

 

Aww, Devon’s brought his stepmom flowers.  Oh, and there’s room service dinner, too, for their “first date.”  She says first…and last.  Sure.  He says there are rules for this date because everyone loves telling Hilary what to do.  It’s just one rule:  no regrets.  They’re just two people enjoying each other and creating a nice memory to agonize  and stare over later.  She takes the flowers, and the camera focuses on her big ole wedding ring. 

 

Okay, so Neil’s been thinking of this certain idea for a while to prove to Hilary that he regrets pushing her away. He thinks his mystery idea is perfect, and Cane agrees.  Neil needs Cane to be his wingman, and luckily can’t see Cane weirding out over how he’s supposed to handle this.

 

Joe’s on the phone telling someone he’s getting ready to move on those lame properties.   “Don’t worry.  It won’t be long before it’s a done deal.”

 

Avery tells Nick not to underestimate Sharon. She’s a strong woman.  Nick says it seems like sometimes she can’t get away from the demons in her past.  Avery says it’s the same for Dylan, but “Sharon and Dylan have US.”  Yeah, what were these two Savior Complexes doing with EACH OTHER before this?  What a silly relationship that was.  Nick just wishes there was something he could do to help her forget about The Secret.  Avery says they can’t make the past go away, all they can do is help them not go back there.   Avery gets a call from Joe.  She just stares at the caller ID.  Nick asks if she wants to answer it.

 

Kelly gets to the Abbotts and looks at Phyllis’ photo on the mantel.  Summer and Austin come in with groceries, with Summer prattling away about making Mom’s favorite foods!  We all know Summer can only make fluff sandwiches, but maybe she has some asparagus in there somewhere.  Summer’s SHOCKED to see Kelly.   Kelly assures her she’s just getting the rest of her stuff.  Summer’s like, omg, ordinarily she’d tell her to take her time, but her Mom’s coming home from the hospital so GTFO.  Kelly seems surprised that Jack is bringing Phyllis…home.  It gets better than that.  Jack is CARRYING PHYLLIS OVER THE THRESHOLD.  Wow.  Kelly’s like…craaaap.
Jack’s having enough of a struggle, that Kelly has a second to grab her purse and run out the back!  Summer motions for Austin to follow.  I guess she wants to make sure Kelly doesn’t have any of the silver in her bag. 

 

Phyllis is so happy to see Summer.  They hug.  Summer’s red and black outfit is really cool.  Phyllis looks around.  “Nothing’s changed!!” she cries.  She remembers some stuff like swimming and iced tea, and that time she almost burned down the kitchen.  She finds the fabric swatches and thinks Jack must be redecorating!  The place could use some freshening up, but umm, this isn’t exactly her taste.  She laughs at Kelly's ugly fabric.  Austin pops back in.  “Hi!”  Phyllis doesn’t really understand why Summer invited her handsome friend to her homecoming.   Kinda rude.  There is ping pong staring.

 

Lily also thinks Neil’s surprise for Hilary sounds great.  She’s so over her blind, raging hatred of Hilary.  She says she just had some terrible feeling that Hilary would hurt him, “but I guess I was wrong!” she happily admits.  Hilary’s proven her love and devotion to Neil.  Cane looks sick.

 

Devon and Hilary drink champagne.  He brings up their boring conversation about dancing making everything go away.  He says this suite can be the same thing.  They can pretend to be anyone they want.  So they pretend to be themselves, basically.  Even their role playing is boring. 

 

Lily asks Joe how everything is at the club.  It’s exceptional, of course, which is what he would expect from Cane.  Lily says she couldn’t run the place without him.  He’s like, yeah…how did he end up doing that?  She defends Cane leaving Chancellor to be a concierge, because it was the best thing for their family, plus he gets office sex three times a day.  Joe knows how hard that is for guys wired like Cane and himself.  She asks if he’s a workaholic, too.  He says he sure used to be, but now he’s done doing that.  He just runs baristas out of business for fun.

 

Nick asks if there’s some reason Avery wouldn’t take Joe’s call.  She says he’s probably just saying goodbye because he’s leaving town.  Nick says it’s kinda weird that both their exes showed up in town without warning. Avery thinks there’s no comparison to Phyllis’ dramatic entrance.  As usual.  Nick says it doesn’t make sense. Phyllis is in love with Jack, you would think after a year in a coma, HE’D be the first person she wanted to see.  Or like, HER OWN KID.  “You would think,” agrees Avery.  

 

Instead she busted out of the clinic, got a “smoking hot designer dress,” and busted into his wedding to ruin it.  Hmm.  It’s like it had something to do with Sharon’s Secret.   Avery says that Phyllis claims to know nothing about it.  “Do you think she’s lying?” asks Nick.  Avery says it’s hard to tell with Phyllis.  “But you know what, Secret or not, Phyllis has to accept that you and Sharon are together…and probably always should have been.” 

 

Jack tries to distract Phyllis with food and sofas, but Summer says Mom is going to have to hear the full story eventually.  “What.Full.Story?” demands Phyllis.    Well, Summer and Austin are...more than friends.  Duh.  She figured THAT out.  How did this come to be?   Ummm, well, Austin says he was a cameraman for Avery’s web series.  “Avery’s WHAT?” asks Phyllis.   She realizes she’s been a gone long time.  Everyone agrees she doesn’t need to hear about the stupid cooking show right now.

 

Summer says she was alone and miserable dealing with two dads and no mom, and Austin really listened.  Austin adds that he’d lost his mom, too, so they have A Connection.  Summer says they fit.  Phyllis can see they are very serious.  Are they living together??  Uhhhh, yeah?   Phyllis wonders how JACK is allowing this.  Wait til she finds out he’s paying for it.  And that Austin is a bartender. Phyllis wants to talk to Summer alone and tries to send Austin out, but Summer says he is NOT going anywhere.  Not now and not ever!  “What does that mean?” demands Phyllis.  Weeeee’re…engaged!   Austin’s like wtf again, and Phyllis jumps up and roars, “YOU’RE WHAT??”

 

Nicks asks Avery when did she become Team Sharon?  She says she’s Team Nick and always has been.  Who ISN’T Team Nick?  Isn’t that the problem?  He says a year ago that had a completely different meaning, hubba hubba.  She says, well, he belongs with Sharon, just like she belongs with Dylan.   “We’re both FINALLY with the codependent partners we were meant to be with.”  Nick says it does feel like it’s the way it should be.  Avery knows that Phyllis returning has thrown them for a loop, but it will work out and Shick will have the happy ending they want.  That’s why he’s going to give Sharon the time she needs to set another wedding date.   Avery thinks that’s the WORST thing he could do.

 

Phyllis turns on Jack, while Summer tries to get her ring off behind her back.  “Engaged??”  Jack knows it’s a shock.  A shock?  “It’s INSANE,” rages Phyllis, and she ought to know, amirite?  Summer is only 18!!  Summer’s 19, okay?!  Well that’s way too young to get married.  She should be going to college and joining a sorority and going to football games!  NOT ENGAGED!  Jack wants her to calm down.  Not until she gets some answers.  

 

When did they meet?!  “Um, in the spring,” says Austin.   And he’s already proposed??  “Omg, you’re not.. pregnant?!”  No no no!  Austin hilariously looks at Summer, like, No?  Right?   Whew.  Summer insists getting married is her idea.  WHY?  Because…she loves him.  Jack’s blinking a lot.  “Baby, that’s great.  Go out with each other and have fun.”   Even SEX is okay, just not getting ENGAGED.  Austin says she doesn’t understand.  Let him explain.  

 

“I don’t need YOU to explain ANYTHING to me.  I have known my daughter FAR LONGER than you have, Mr. We Just Met InThe SPRING!”  She’s loved Summer her whole life and will do anything to protect her.  “Which is why I will NOT allow her to throw her life away on some dreamy dude she barely knows!”  Summer begs her not to talk to Austin that way.  “THIS IS NOT GONNA HAPPEN!” screams Phyllis.  I’m kinda scared, you guys!  Jack tells everyone to calm down.  Phyllis NEEDS TO REST.  He rushes Austin and Summer through the dining room, and tells Summer to give her time.  He goes back to Phyllis, who says, “How could you let this happen?”  Kelly told him to.

 

Kelly’s at the club, going through her bag and finds the Vivaldi program.  Waaah.  Flashback to Jack inviting her to the concert.  Then to him saying not to delay joy, and asking her to move in.  Then to their last night in bed together and him sadly saying he loves her.   She pulls out her phone and finally listens to his message.  He’s trying to figure this all out, but whatever happens, nothing could erase what they shared together, or make it any less important to him. 

 

Hilary and Devon slow dance and pretend other boring things.   Devon gets upset because he wants to do all this stuff for realz.  Too bad, soon they have to go back to the real world and forget all about their feelings for each other.  Devon doesn’t want to.  Kissing. 

 

Summer and Austin come grumping into Crimson Lights.  “God, I hate this,” whines Summer.  “How do you think *I* feel?” says Austin.  Yeah, so he’s mad, but did he SEE the way her mom reacted just to them being engaged?  Austin IS mad.  So Phyllis freaked out a LOT, but eventually they’re going to have to tell her they’re married!  And the longer they wait, the more pissed she’s going to be!  “You think I don’t know that?” says Summer.  “THEN JUST DO IT!” shouts Austin.  Summer says don’t yell at her.  He apologizes.  He knows she’s worried her mom will never accept their marriage, but they never thought Jack and Nick would come around, and they did.  Phyllis will too.  Ha.

 

Nick’s still surprised that Avery’s done a turnaround on Sharon.   Even Avery knows what a shit deal it was when Nick ran off with Phyllis, and that no one has made Sharon feel more insecure than she has.  SO MARRY HER ALREADY.  Nick says it’s going to be hard to convince her.  Avery thinks he just has to flash that Newman smile.  He’s going to try.   He leaves, and Avery stares at her caller ID again.

 

Lily says Joe must be anxious to get back to Chicago, there must be a special lady waiting?  That Lily, always nosy.  He says he’s single these days.  She thinks that won’t last long.  She eyes Kelly at the bar, and we see the light bulb flash over Lily’s head.

 

Kelly gazes at her Vivaldi program.  Lily asks if she’s okay.  She thinks so.  When she went to get her stuff Jack was bringing Phyllis home.  Lily cringes.  Yeah, it sucked.  Kelly’s brain knows things are over with Jack but her heart still thinks there’s a chance.

 

Phyllis and Jack fight.  He says do you think this was EASY FOR ME?  He did what he had to do under the circumstances.   WHAT circumstances?!  He just found out she was his daughter, he wasn’t going to lose her over this.  Phyllis says there is MORE going on than what they’re telling her.  He says the doctors TOLD them not to give her too much information at once!  “NO!  You, Nick, Avery, Summer…you’re ALL keeping me in the dark!”  He says that’s not true, they are trying to do what’s best for her.  “I want to know, right now.  What else have you not told me, Jack?”

 

Hilary and Devon are rolling around in bed, when someone’s cane starts knocking on the door.  Neil’s cane and Lily’s Cane are right outside.  SURPRI-ISE!!!
 

Edited October 17, 2014 by peach

[miamama]

Who ISN’T Team Nick?  Isn’t that the problem?

 

Yes. It is the show's biggest problem. Well, one of it's biggest problems.

[peach]

Yes. It is the show's biggest problem. Well, one of it's biggest problems.

It's Sharon's biggest problem.  lol

[glowlights]

Neil needs Cane to be his wingman, and luckily can’t see Cane weirding out over how he’s supposed to handle this.

 

*ZING*

 

Neil is the least sympathetic electrocuted blind person in the history of everything. I hope he falls off the roof of the GCAC.

[peach]

Thurs, Oct 16    I Mustache You A Question

 

Victor finally drags his butt home, but Nikki isn’t there, or answering her phone.  He looks around and notices the vodka bottle is out.  Nikki’s at the police station, where she decides to ignore Victor’s call and pop one of her mints before going into Paul’s office.   Uh-oh.
Dylan and Avery are there, along with Kevin and his magic laptop.  Paul promises she doesn’t need to worry, Kevin’s just there for his mad computer skillz.  Kevin says they don’t know if that text was from Ian.  Dylan’s all yes it is.  He rubs his hands and says Ian will take the bait.  Nikki’s all panicky and says what if Ian just wants to set up Dylan to hurt her, and stays away forever so he’s convicted!  “Maybe we’re all being outplayed!”

 

Devon hears Neil knocking and thinks it’s room service picking up the trays.   Hilary puts on a fluffy robe and answers the door.  “Surprise, baby!”   Congratulations, she IS surprised!  Thank God Neil can’t see her.  She stares at Cane.  He knows.

 

Mariah gets to the ranch.  She thanks Victor for demanding she come see him.  Does he have Faith’s DNA results from that fancy lab?  He does, indeed.

 

Phyllis wants to know RIGHT NOW.  What else hasn’t Jack told her?  There’s SO MUCH, he says, a whole year of days and nights and events no one EVER saw coming.  Well, that doesn’t sound good.  She gets up.  “Like these FABRIC and COLOR swatches??  Did I go into a coma and wake up in 1986?”  LOL  She’s concerned about what she doesn’t know.  Jack says, okay, it’s time.  “You have to understand…life is complicated.”  She stares at him like she knows what’s coming.  “Pick any other year of your life…this is no different, Red.  There will be things that will be hard to say, and even harder to hear.”  She looks worried.  And pissed.  Start with Austin, anything after that will seem minor.

 

Victor tells Mariah her assumption was INCORRECT.  “Lucky you,” says Mariah, “your granddaughter is your granddaughter.”  Faith IS Nicholas’ daughter, so there is no payout.  Mariah says if it means that Faith isn’t another casualty of this whacked out family, then she can suffer without a paycheck.  She seems pretty glad she was wrong.  I really like her hair today.  

 

Victor is curious about her game…if she’s not so anxious to leave town, why does she want to stay?  Mariah’s not ashamed for liking Faith, she’s cute.  She’s adorable, says Victor.  Sooo, this whacked out family is the reason she wants to stay?  Mariah kind of laughs.  “I’m not sure WHY you care, since you’re the one person who wants to make sure Nick and Sharon NEVER get married.  And lucky for you, you have your own secret weapon, your own personal flamethrower.”  Victor asks who that is. “Phyllis.  Large, in charge, and back in town.”

 

Jack tells Phyllis so much has happened.  Kyle moved back to New York.  Ashley’s home, which is good for Abby.  The house is Grand Central Station these days, Billy’s living there, too.  Whaaat?  Billy and Victoria?  Jack says it’s complicated.  She says he blew it, didn’t he?  Was it gambling?  Women?  Booze?  Jack doesn’t really want to talk about it.  There are so many other things he needs to tell her instead of that Delia died.

 

"Jack…I know what this is about.  If there’s something you think you can’t tell me…you can.”  Oh, God, he wishes it were that easy.  “You CAN,” she insists.  He sits there.  “Do you want me to say it for you?  Because you’re giving me all sorts of hints.  Is it the PILLS?”  He’s like, no no no!  No!  He thought about it, though.  She says he kept his word to her, because he’s an AMAZING man!  He’s like, ugh, don’t give him too much credit.  He talks about lonely he was, week after week, month after month…waiting for a sign.  It never happened!  So he shut down.  And then…everything changed.

 

Paul promises that Dylan isn’t going to get convicted for murder.  Nikki is all worked up.  “My God, you STILL underestimate Ian!  Even after all the lies and manipulations!”  Avery says Dylan’s not going to pay for a crime he didn’t commit.  Nikki’s like, “Oh, you can defend him in court, but there’s no way to force anyone to drop the charges!”  Paul’s like, um, Chris is in on it, remember??  She’s like, yeah, right.  She went along for YOU, Paul. 

 

She rants about how Chris doesn’t really think Dylan’s innocent, and that if Ian never appears, she can just see Chris “reluctantly” letting the charges stand, and “reluctantly” letting Dylan go to prison.  Paul rolls his eyes, but I’m with Nikki on this one.  He says she’s WRONG, he doesn’t know how else to say it.  “And when YOUR wife sends OUR son to prison, is that what you’re gonna say, too?!”

Dylan’s like whoa, she’s the one at risk.  Avery says it’s not too late to abort this plan.  Paul’s like OMG, we are NOT aborting his brilliant plan!  But it won’t work unless they all work TOGETHER.  “Or maybe the plan will not work AT ALL,” scolds mint-eating Nikki. 

 

Kevin half laughs.  He’s like, GUYS, do you not hear yourselves?  “This villain is getting inside of your heads!  He’s sowing seeds  of discord.  You will not be able to vanquish him if you’re fighting each other.”  Dylan’s like, dude?…Vanquish??  I think Dylan wants to beat up the nerd.  Kevin’s like, or “get rid of him,” that works too.

 

Blah blah, Ian’s ego.  Dylan worries about Paul’s reputation.  Paul’s sick of all these second-guessers.  Look, he can KEEP Dylan OUT of prison, and he can KEEP Nikki  OUT of harm’s way, so just let him DO IT, darn it.  Until Ian contacts Nikki, they wait!  “And THEN we vanquish his ass!” declares Kevin. 

 

Neil is so happy to be with Hilary again.  She’s like why didn’t you call??  Because then it wouldn’t be a surprise, baby!  Cane stares down Devon who’s still in the bed.  Neil realizes Hilary’s in a bathrobe using his super senses, and she claims she was just about to jump in the shower.  Ooo, Neil thinks the wingman is off the clock now, so he can spend some alone time with his sexy wife!  Cane looks at Devon with disgust.  No one knows what to do.  Start crawling for the door, bro.  Please get in the shower, Hilary.

 

Hilary guides Neil to the couch while Devon stealthily gets his drawers back on, and Cane wishes them a lovely evening, while he drags Devon out by the neck.  Devon starts to talk, but Cane fiercely whispers that he didn’t do that for HIM, or for HER, but for HIS FATHER.  Devon kind of stammers but he doesn’t look nearly guilty enough for me.

 

Hilary hastily gets dressed instead of taking a much needed shower, and says Neil really didn’t need to do this.  She asks if he arranged all this with Jack, and that’s why he sent her to New York?  Yep, she caught him!  He needed some time to think…and now he’s come so he can start making things right with her, right now.  Hilary doesn’t look guilty either, she looks annoyed.  It totally sucks when your blind husband ruins your dirty weekend.

 

Phyllis and Jack hold hands. “There was a reason everything changed?” says Phyllis.  “I wasn’t alone anymore,” says Jack.  “There was suddenly a light at the end of that awful tunnel.”  Ugh, don’t say it like that.  “It was really like that?” she asks.  “So much so,” he says.  “ME coming back affected you like that?” she says, moved to tears.  Jack’s like, wait…what?  Phyllis scolds herself for crying.  He had her freaked out a little back there.  She didn’t like the idea of him being off the wagon, especially without her for backup , but she should have known he’d hang tough!  “The love of a good woman will do that for a guy!” she smiles.  Or so she’s heard.

 

Jack doesn’t even know where to go with this.  She applies this to Billy and Victoria, and offers to talk to her, since addiction sucks but it doesn’t mean they’re doomed!  Jack says it wasn’t gambling.  Omg, so stupid Billy blew up his life over a woman!  “Your brother is an idiot.”  Jack says it wasn’t that simple, and btw, about that woman…  Phyllis thinks it’s VERY simple.  “He walked out on a woman who loves him!  Come on, Jack, if that isn’t as STUPID AS HELL, I don’t know what is!”  I don’t know, Phyllis, let’s ask NICK AND SHARON.  Jack just stares.  He’s so screwed.

 

Paul’s all excited that he has another deck of cards!  Avery left to visit Phyllis, and Kevin’s better at computer poker.  Nikki’s coming down from whatever binge she’s on, so Dylan comforts her.  She dabs her face with a Kleenex like she’s Scarlett O’Hara.  I declare, she doesn’t know how much she can take.  Kevin says police work requires a ridiculous amount of “hurry up and wait.”   He says you sit around waiting long enough to knit blankets for half of Wisconsin, or write a bad novel, or whatever!   Then he says the longer the wait the more likely it is that Ian bolted, and they won’t nail him.  Paul’s like, HEY!  Stop doubting his brilliant plan, dammit.

 

Dylan asks Nikki if she needs a drink.  WHAT??  He means coffee or water.  Kevin jokes about sending Harding out for fancy bottled water.  I don’t get it.  Nikki gets a call!  Hey, it’s IAN WARD!  “Ahh, Nicole.  Lovely to hear your voice.”  He looks pretty fit for a murder victim.

 

“Oh, Nicole, I knew that all those years ago, our connection would span a lifetime.  I was right.”  You’re alive, croaks Nikki.  “Did you ever doubt it?” he chuckles.  “Or did you mourn my passing?”  Nikki doesn’t want to..play..any more.. games, she just wants all this to end, she whines.  This is her idea of “luring” Ian?  She sucks.  Ian says that sounds so final…and UNREALISTIC.  

 

“Just tell me what you want, okay?” says Nikki.  He wants to stick a needle in your neck, hello?  “Now??” he says.  “We have time, Nicole.  And I’d prefer not to speak on a line where the police might be listening?”  He chuckles again.  OH NOES!  Do you mean Ian Ward SAW THROUGH their brilliant plan?!  He says he’s left a burner phone in her glove compartment, next to the vodka.   “What??  You were in my car?”  He will use that phone to speak with her again…soon.  He hangs up and gets scary eyes.

 

“You did great, Nikki,” lies Paul.  She collapses into a chair.  Dylans asks how the trace went?  “It didn’t,” shrugs Kevin.  That’s how it goes with burner phones, okay?  They need more advanced technology than his laptop and earbuds, or maybe a warrant for a wiretap, he suggests.  Wow, they REALLY thought this through ahead of time. 

 

Paul says he put the phone in Nikki’s car, that means he’s close!  “He’s so close,” whispers Nikki.  Lightning strikes Captain Nikki Obvious, and she starts crying out, “He’s ALIVE!  HE’s ALIIIVE!  This means Dylan’s innocent!”   I guess Nikki totally thought Dylan offed him.  Dylan says they have to get Nikki far out of town where that sonofabitch can’t get to her.  “And risk losing him?  No no no no!”  She is the one he wants, and she is going to STAY WITH THIS TO THE END!  Or until she passes out.

 

Meanwhile, Victor’s dishing with Mariah about Phyllis coming out of her damn coma.  “And smack dab into Nick and Sharon’s wedding.  You shoulda been there, you’d have loved it.”  Mariah is loving this.  “Didja hear about the white dress??”   He did not.  Victor’s enjoying himself, too. “Phyllis,” says Mariah, “is an evil genius!  You guys are either best friends or mortal enemies.” 

 

Yeah, but how did Nick and Sharon react?  “I don’t remember,” says Mariah.  “They said things, they did things.”  Victor pulls a wad of cash out of his pocket.  “Will this help you remember?”  Mariah says maybe she just can’t remember.  He chuckles.  “Have you suddenly developed a sense of loyalty, or what?”  She smirks.  “To Nick and Sharon? Yeah, no.”  

 

Look, she can’t remember what they said.  All she knows is that Sharon bolted out of the church like the nut that she is.  And then later on, Nick and Sharon went to visit Phyllis in the hospital.  Victor’s like, Sharon went to visit Phyllis?  Oh, yeah, it’s all about The Secret, says Mariah.  “It’s the only thing anyone talks about, or thinks about.  You guys all have that in common.”  Ah, so Nicholas wants to know, says Victor.  Mariah’s like, Nick just wants to know so they can move on.

 

“You think it’s going to ruin this ‘epic love affair’ between Nick and Sharon, and HE thinks that it’s no big deal.  You know, you two don’t have that much in common.  Maybe it’s HIS DNA results you should be testing.”  “Who says I haven’t?” says Victor.  Haha.  That’s SOP around GC.  He says Nicholas IS his son.  Mariah says she has to give him credit, he doesn’t let anything get in his way.  “I guess that’s why you’re Victor Newman.”  He adores this girl.

 

“What happened with Billy…” Jack starts to say.  “And the tramp?” asks Phyllis.  Hey, that’s his tramp she’s talking about.  “Billy was in a BAD PLACE, Phyllis, and he found some who UNDERSTOOD him,” because Kelly’s understanding like that.  Phyllis is disgusted.  “You are making excuses for him!”  Jack is SAYING that people don’t make these decisions in a vacuum.  “Life sometimes OVERWHELMS US!” 

 

He dances around the reason for Billy being overwhelmed and his and Victoria’s pain.  “Which you don’t want to tell me,” says Phyllis.  No, he doesn’t.  Not like this, bringing up an ENTIRE YEAR in one conversation.  It’s not fair to her or the people they’re talking about!  Phyllis backs down a little and says she’s used to being ahead of the curve, okay.  She doesn’t like not knowing, but maybe taking it in bite sized pieces is a good idea.  So tell her the easy stuff.  How about the office?

 

Jack says Jabot doesn’t even make the priority list.  He only works like one day a week.  Well, Phyllis would like to know, she’s not a slacker like the rest of them.  Who is sitting in her chair at work?  “That would be Billy,” says Jack.  That’s just great.  “Well, he couldn’t keep my magazine going after he bought it, but I trust he hasn’t ruined Jabot?”  No, he works less than Jack.  Jack says he’s done a good job, though.  “Good,” says Phyllis, “motivation to get up to speed and boot the competition out of my spot!”   Billy won’t even notice.  Jack stares.  Phyllis frowns.  She was just kidding!  Sort of.

 

The doorbell rings.  It’s Avery.  She says Phyllis looks wonderful!  Yeah, but her head is spinning so fast she’s afraid it’s going to pop off.   Then comes speaking in tongues.  Jack claims he’s been filling Phyllis in on what’s happened the past year.  Avery’s like, ohhh, like what?  “Like Billy CHEATING on Victoria!” says Phyllis.  “Wonderful decision making, as usual, but Jack didn’t say.  Do I KNOW this tramp?”  NO! says Jack.  You don’t know her.  “But you do?” asks Phyllis.  Avery’s like uh-oh.

 

“So if I don’t know her, but YOU do, was she new to town?  Passing through, making friends with married men?”  Jack’s like you just finished telling us your head was spinning.  Okay, okay.  She admits she’s not STUNNED that Billy blew it.  And she can’t exactly throw stones.  Jack agrees, they have ALL done things they are not proud of.  “But, hey,” says Phyllis, “my sister didn’t go and marry my ex while I was out of it!  So that’s some news.” 

 

“No,” Avery smiles, “I did not.”  “Nick and Sharon were destined to be together, according to Avery!”  FIVE BUCKS it was the usual with those two, says Phyllis, Sharon mentioned Cassie and they fell into bed together.  Gross, Phyllis.  Jack’s mouth hangs open for a while.  Avery recovers and acknowledges that Phyllis is enjoying this.  “SHARON copped to being completely PSYCHO , TO my face, now THAT is the kind of honesty I can appreciate!”  Avery’s like, you’re complimenting Sharon??  She’s just making a point for Jack that not everything has to be whitewashed.  Jack’s mouth is still open.  

 

Avery agrees with that!  And SHE wants answers.   Why didn’t the clinic call them when she woke up?  How did she get all this way without anyone letting them know?  “COMPLETELY irresponsible,” says Jack.  He tried to reach Nurse Hathaway, and found out she’s been transferred!  Guess you can never find her, then.   Avery says she’s on it, and she will have answers.  “I love answers,” says Phyllis.  “In small doses,” she concedes.    Avery missed her.  A lot has changed, says Phyllis, but my kid, my sister, and my fiancé are the constants in my life.  Avery and Jack look at each other.

 

Mariah says Nick and Sharon tried to pump Phyllis for information, but they got nothing.  “So they said,” says Victor.   No way, says Mariah.  Nick wants to shut this whole Secret thing down.  “He’s freaked because Sharon is freaked.”  Victor wants to know how she’s behaving.  Well, she bolted from the wedding, and she’s tense about what Phyllis knows.  “I’m not gonna lie, if Phyllis knew a secret of mine, I’d be scared, too,” says Mariah. 

 

“You don’t scare easily, do you?” says Victor.  She says she knows when to duck and cover.  “And you don’t wallow in emotions, do you?”  She’s like what are you getting at?  “Not really,” she says.  “Not even over the death of the man you considered your father?”  She frowns.  “Are you seriously trying to find out if I CRIED over Ian?  Please, like I would ever get into that with you.  But…I wouldn’t say no if you offered me gas money.”  He laughs.  And gives her some!  Lol   She smiles and says, “You didn’t think we’d chat because we were friends, did you?  ;)  Later!”  Victor says, “Later!”  Those two.  She leaves, and he tries to call Nikki again. 

 

Dylan asks if Ian called again.  She says it’s no one important.  Ha.  Back to refusing to risk losing Ian again.  No way!  Paul says she did her job and took the call, she doesn’t need to be in Ian’s sight line.   She’s like what are you going to do, use a decoy?  I don’t think Courtney is a match this time.  Kevin says they tried it, blew it, do NOT recommend it again.  “Not helping!” scolds Dylan. 

 

Paul notices Nikki is shaking.  She’s just upset, and needs a vodka tonic.  This man has tried to destroy her family.  Paul said she wasn’t going to be in danger. So let’s get this thing GOING, NOW.  Kevin thinks they should take yes for an answer.  Dylan is so going to beat his ass.  Kevin’s like, what, it’s a good plan, she’s a tough lady, let’s get it done! 

 

Ian is a loose cannon, says Dylan.  But he only has ONE focus, says Paul, Nikki.  Kevin’s like whoa, what about MARIAH?  Paul says they have people watching Mariah.  “To protect HER, or to nab Ian, because that’s not the same thing.”  Mariah is SAFE, claims Paul.  It was nice of them not to warn her.  “I will be, too!” insists half-drunk Nikki.  She says he put the phone in HER car, he’s going to be waiting for her to answer it!  She promises to be careful.  Why don’t they give her a taser or something?

 

Neil confesses he’s been foolish, indecisive, confusing to a fault.  Push/pull. He apologizes for asking for the divorce.  When he got arrested, he sat there and thought about what a wonderful wife he has, how she deserves trust, and respect, and love.  Hilary looks sick with shame.  He says, “Baby, I need to step up my game.  And no pity party!  We are gonna have a hell of a life together.”  Hell is probably the right word.  He doesn’t want to live it with anyone but her.  He asks her to forgive him for pushing her away. “I love you.”

 

Cane is fierce whispering at Devon in the hallway.  “It wasn’t enough for you to get a room at the club??  I brought that man here because he loves that woman.  He came here wanting to be with his wife.  WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!”  Devon whines that there’s nothing wrong with him!  He had to come and see her.  “You coulda been a man.  You coulda been a son.  You coulda stayed away.”  “Cane, I love her.  And she loves me, too.”  Cane rolls his eyes, disgusted.

 

Devon insists he’s in love with Hilary, and he can’t STOP loving her.  “And believe me when I tell you that Neil is the last person on this planet that I want to hurt on purpose!”  Like he accidentally just had sex with his wife for three days.  Cane’s like, oh, so you think if Neil doesn’t know about it, he won’t get hurt?  “WE know about this,” says Cane, “and now you got me lying to my wife, and to that man, one of the few people who gave me a second chance when I didn’t deserve one.  But it’s okay, isn’t it, as long as YOU get what YOU want.” 

 

Devon whines about his high school feelz.  He didn’t want this, he didn’t want to want Hilary.  Blah blah, he can’t walk away.  Cane’s like you DON’T WANT to walk away, you spoiled brat.  THAT’S the problem here.  But this is REAL for Devon, waaah.  “I am REAL when I’m with her.”  Real selfish.  Cane says the only REAL thing going on right now, is going on behind the other side of that door, between your father and HIS wife.

 

Hilary says Neil’s not the one who needs forgiven.  She’s been thinking,too, huh?  Yeaaaah, thinking.  “I hope you thought about how much I love you, how good we have it, how good it CAN be.”  Hilary tries not to cry.  She’s like, ugh, the way you describe me, brave and strong.  “You ARE,” says Neil, kissing her hands.  Hilary is sad.  “I want to be that wonderful woman.”  You ARE, you are MY wonderful woman, says Neil.

 

Phyllis stares at a photo of her with Summer.  “Remembering?” asks Jack.  “Wondering is more like it.  A YEAR gone from my life.”  Maybe she’s not as tough as she thought she was.  Jack says she came back, that’s pretty tough.  She sidles up to him and says it must have been so hard for him to be alone all that time.  The phone rings.  Hey, it’s Nurse Hathaway!  Maybe they’ll get some answers. 

 

Kevin comes bursting into Crimson Lights looking for Mariah.  At least someone cares about her.  “I’ve been looking for you, you’re not safe!!”  “Because you’re looking for me??”  Ha, I love her.  “NO!  It’s Ian, he’s alive, he’s close by, and he’s the whack job who kidnapped and married you.  It’s The Reckoning!”  He grabs her by the hand.  She’s like what, how, are you sure?!  “YES! NOW LET’S GO!” He drags her out.  “WHAT THE HELL, KEVIN?”

 

Nikki gets home.  She sees her vodka bottle.  Hello, friend.  But dammit, Ian calls.  “I’m here,” she says.  “Yes, you are.  Ready for me!  I have to admit it tickles me how our connection can’t be broken.”  She assumes this has something to do with money.  Oh, money is just a tool in our culture.  She knows it’s not just about the money.  Meaning he wants her to deliver it in person?  Oh, that is KEY.  She’ll do it, but after he has what he wants, he has to let the police know Dylan’s not guilty of murder, or he won’t  see her or the money.    That’s logical.   “Of course, Nicole.  You have my word.  Anything for you.”  She looks like she’s going to vom.

 

Neil strokes Hilary’s arm, and she suddenly throws herself in his arms.  She loves HIM again.  “Hey, I got you.  And I’m never letting you go.”  She thinks they should go get something to eat, and let housekeeping get in there and change those stank sheets.  She helps him up and out, and we see DEVON’S PHONE laying in the blankets.  Bummer. They go out in the hallway while Devon stands to the side, and Cane tells them he’s going home to Lily and the kids now.  Cane glares at Devon one more time.

 

Nikki is so damn stupid that she uses the phone IAN gave her to call Paul.  She tells him he only gave her the meeting location and hung up.  Waah, if he could hear the glee in Ian’s voice.   “Now we’re going to hustle you to the GCAC and keep you under wraps in the most obvious place in the world, until we have Ian in custody.”  Oh, thank God she never has to see Ian’s face again except in a court room.   He’s listening of course, and chuckles and shakes his head.  How is this even a challenge for him?

 

So, Nurse Hathaway said there was a VISITOR to see Phyllis that wasn’t on anyone’s approved list.  He was brooding, tall, imposing.  She’s like, that really narrows it down.  She ALSO said he had a MUSTACHE.  Well, then, it was obviously Victor Newman!  Victor was by her bedside?  Phyllis says that’s creeping her out a little bit!

 

“What the hell was he trying to do?  Get brownie points with Summer??”  wonders Jack.  But that doesn’t make sense, because Victor said he wanted it all hush hush from the rest of them.  “WHY?” asks Phyllis.  Jack says he will certainly never volunteer an answer.   Ding dong!  Speak of the devil, Victor Newman’s at the door. “I’m here to see Phyllis!” he says with a grin.

[movinon]

 

Hilary guides Neil to the couch while Devon stealthily gets his drawers back on, and Cane wishes them a lovely evening, while he drags Devon out by the neck.

This whole scene is so funny, I almost peed my pants.  My question is, "Who wrote this?  It couldn't have been the people we have currently employed."  Peach, I strongly suspect you sent this script in anonymously, and they used it.  Finally, something to laugh at - I could laugh at some of the Phyllis stuff, too, but honestly, I'm too scared. 

Edited October 17, 2014 by movinon

[glowlights]

I am grateful for your recap, Peach, because I missed everything that came after Neil showed up to the hotel and (apparently) didn't notice his wife smells of sex, sweat and Miss Devonne's cologne. First time in ages that I didn't FF through a Winters scene and oh the regret.

 

(they've ruined Ian Ward, who I worshiped)

[Capricasix]

This whole scene is so funny, I almost peed my pants. My question is, "Who wrote this? It couldn't have been the people we have currently employed." Peach, I strongly suspect you sent this script in anonymously, and they used it. Finally, something to laugh at - I could laugh at some of the Phyllis stuff, too, but honestly, I'm too scared.

You know something is seriously wrong when the least idiotic character in a scene is Cane (either the person or the object)! I did like his giving Devon shit in the hallway, and he's all, "But I LUVVVV her!" Bwa haha. How dumb.

Oh, and any time they mentioned Nurse Hathaway, I half expected Julianna Margulies to show up.

Edited October 18, 2014 by Capricasix

[movinon]

 

(they've ruined Ian Ward, who I worshiped)

 

Ain't it the truth?  He brought so much to the show in such a short time.  This man was far too good for the writers we have at the moment anyhow - they could have never done him justice.  I understand he has a couple of things lined up already and we were lucky to have his unbelievable talent as long as we have.  Love Ray Wise - thank you, sir.

[Petunia13]

Peach or LP post recaps. NOW.

Jk ; P

[movinon]

I'm missing the recaps, too.  I don't seem to be able to function without them, and I have a cat to take care of.  HELP!!!

[peach]

Oh, sweet friends.  I'm sorry I've been so busy!  October be crazy!  I will try to get back on track for y'all.

[movinon]

Oh, sweet friends.  I'm sorry I've been so busy!  October be crazy!  I will try to get back on track for y'all.

Hey, there.  So glad to know you're ok.  We will all live until you can get things together, just not as happily.

Edited October 23, 2014 by movinon

[peacheslatour]

What movinon said.  Glad you're o.k.  Don't worry about us- we'll still be here.

[peach]

Fri, Oct 17

 

Jack tells Victor he is not welcome at his home, but Phyllis wants to talk to Victor.  She gazes at him shrewdly

 

Victoria’s in her new, mod office when Nick comes to visit.  He can’t believe Victor left her in charge, but told her nothing about his itinerary.  Vicky doesn’t care as long as she’s in charge.  She says the rumor is he’ll be back today.

 

Sharon chats with Noah at the cottage.  He laughs at a Fenmore’s ad featuring a psychic/palm reader event at their next big sale.  Gee, I wonder what’s gonna happen.  Noah says while all eyes were on crazy Phyllis crashing the wedding, he was watching Sharon.  She turned so pale he thought she might pass out, so what was on her mind?  Gosh, Noah, what could it be?   Hmm, that her worst enemy just crashed her wedding to re-steal Nick? 

 

Lauren greets Michael at the club in a black leather bustier.  “You have never looked more [inappropriate in public] beautiful,” says Michael.  They’re back to their midday sex hooky, with plans for more.

 

Maureen’s surprised to run into Nikki entering a suite at the club.  Nikki claims she’s attending a charity event.  Maureen says they’re friends, she doesn’t have to pull the wool over her eyes.  She can guess for herself that Nikki’s there for a bender. 

 

Dylan’s having an anxiety attack because he has to wait behind bars for Ian to take the bait.  He’s going nuts in there, Paul!!!  Dylan’s a big baby about it, but Paul won’t budge on letting him out.  What if someone from the media saw him?  “Our plan would be blown out of the water, Ian would disappear forever, and where would that leave you?”  Um, not being charged for a murder that you and the DA know didn't happen?  Dylan thinks he could be a lot more use on the outside, but Harding walks up to remind him about the last time he went rogue and got The Chief shot.   Harding also doesn’t think this is a Brilliant Plan, but Paul ain’t changing it!  He’s going to check on Nikki. 

 

Nikki pretends she doesn’t get what Maureen’s  hinting at, but Mo insists that she gets why a Newman  might need an escape sometimes, especially when she’s looking as ragged as ole Nikki, here.   Hey, Nikki just has a MEETING, okay?  She goes in and goes slack jawed at the sight of the minibar.   Don’t do it, Nikki, those little bottles cost a fortune.

 

Stitch is on Skype with Max talking about friends.

 

Nick blah blah Secret blah Dad.  It’s the not knowing that is killing Sharon, and he’s afraid she’s gonna have another manic episode.   Blah blah nothing will keep him from marrying her.  “Don’t,” says Victoria.  “Don’t marry Sharon!”  Misery loves company, it seems.

 

Phyllis and Jack tell Victor they know he was the tall, commanding visitor with a mustache.  Yeah, yeah, it was him.  He’s the one who brought in Dr. Cutler.  “Who the hell is Dr. Cutler?” asks Jack.  Someone YOU probably should have known about, Jack.  Victor scolds Jack about how Phyllis’ doctors weren’t up to the task, so he found a man with an experimental treatment.  “EXPERIMENTAL!!” shouts Jack.  So much could have gone wrong!  Yeah, but it didn’t, says Victor, unless you count alien demon possession, and here she is in the flesh.

 

Phyllis wants to know WHY.  Victor claims he didn’t tell anyone because he didn’t want them to get their hopes up.  Phyllis says she may have just taken a 12 month nap, but she’s not stupid.  There’s no love lost between them, and if anything, he’d probably be happy to have her out of the way.  So WHY would he go to so much trouble to have her come back?

 

Michael and Lauren glow.  Michael’s “problems” seem so far away.

 

Nick is pissed at Victoria’s attitude.  She’s like look at you, you’re a mess.  Sharon MAKES you a mess.  And Sharon will just keep screwing up on perfect, noble Nick.  “Well I WANT to marry Sharon,” pouts Nick, “and that’s the end of it.”  Vicky rants about how ignoring someone’s history just isn’t wise.  He’s like this isn’t even about Sharon, it’s about BILLY, and Stitch, and the decision YOU have to make.  Victoria glares.

 

Sharon tells Noah it was a shock to everyone to see Phyllis.  He says but she is the only one who panicked and ran out of the church.  Well, she is the only one whose wedding was being ruined by her evil arch nemesis.  Noah keeps pushing to find out why Sharon is so afraid of her.  Noah, do you even watch this show?  Sharon admits she’s had flashes of memory of being at Cassie’s grave, with Phyllis there.  She can’t figure out what it means.  And until she figures it out, she can’t marry Nick.

 

Victor admits he doesn’t like Phyllis, but pretends he did it for Summer’s sake.   “But you’re alright now, you’re back.”  Jack’s like, oh, are we supposed to thank you for being the HERO now, for getting in the middle of something that was NONE of your business??  “SUMMER IS MY BUSINESS,” shouts Victor.  He will ALWAYS think of her as his granddaughter.  Jack doesn’t care.  “She is MY daughter!  She is MY FLESH and BLOOD.”  Phyllis bellows, “STOP!”  Jack asks if she’s okay.  She’s all glassy eyed. “No.  I’m not.”

 

Nikki circles the liquor, but Paul interrupts.  She didn’t even close the door!  She promises to do better.  Paul thinks he’s a couple of steps ahead of Ian this time.  He’s not as bad at police work as I thought he was, because he figured that the burner phone was bugged, so Ian knows she’s not really going to be at the meet and came to the club instead.  So Ian will probably come after Nikki there, and then they can nab him.  So, sorry for tricking you into thinking you weren’t the real bait!  Paul says this time they’re ready for him.  Blah friends blah.  Paul says she can “cling away” to him.  They’re a pretty good team, they gush.

 

Dylan whines and cries until the guard gets Harding for him. He’s like, STFU, Dylan.  Dylan rants and raves about how Nikki’s doing.  Harding tells him to chill because everything’s going fine.  Dylan says Harding LOVES doing this to him, keeping him locked up and watching him go crazy.   He wants to know what Harding’s “better plan” was.  Doubting Dylan now thinks something could go wrong with the Brilliant Plan, and if Harding could have prevented it, that’s on his head!  I can see why Paul thought it was critical to keep Dylan in a cage.

 

Stitch ends his call with Max, right when Maureen walks by.  She’s bummed that she didn’t get to say hi.  Stitch says Jenna is very strict about the video calls.  Mo’s like, but he’s your son!  Yeah, he is, and he’s on the other side of the world because of what Stitch had to do.  “Was it all worth it?” he asks. 

 

Maureen says he shouldn’t have had to pay such a heavy price.  But he can’t stay focused on the yucky past, he should just look to the future!  “My future, huh?”  She asks if he’s going to tell Victoria The Truth so they can get back together?  He says she’s got nothing to worry about.  Maureen’s glad.  She says it’s for the best.  “I knew I could trust you.”  If only Victoria did, he says.

 

Victoria says she doesn’t want Billy OR Stitch in her life right now, and they were talking about NICK, not her.  Nick promises to support her no matter what, but he knows something’s up with Vicky, and he’s not leaving til she tells him what it is.  Okay, okay, something happened, but it’s more about Abby.  Abby went on and on about how she and Billy should get back together, but then Stitch came by, so Victoria “rebelled” and kissed him.  Blah blah, she thought she was over him.  She doesn’t WANT to have feelings for him, she just wants to give all her love to the baby.  But there’s nothing like confusing Stitch in the meantime.   Nick says once the baby gets here, it will be a lot more clear.

 

Harding tells Dylan not to play him, he’s out of his league.  Dylan spazzes out about Ian slipping into the club to get Nikki.  Harding’s like don’t be an idiot, they have all the entrances covered.  They manage to do their jobs every day without Dylan’s genius input.  Dylan says, “What about the trap door in the basement??”  Harding pauses.  “WHAT trap door?”  Omg, the one they just made up for this story! Duh!

 

Maureen says Stitch is feeling sorry for himself.  He’s like thanks a lot.  She says terrible things happened to him!  To all of them.  But what happened to his father, she doesn’t regret AT ALL.  And he shouldn’t either.  She says he’s extremely brave.  Stitch knows he did the right thing, but it tears him up seeing Max.  She wants him to be happy, so he should go FIGHT for what he wants!  “If you want Victoria, go after her!  And don’t let anyone or anything get in the way.”

 

Noah is still confused about Sharon letting Phyllis get in the way of marrying Nick.  Because she KNOWS, says Sharon.  She KNOWS The Secret.  “Why else would she go to great lengths to disrupt my wedding??”  “Because it’s PHYLLIS!” says Noah.  Sharon says Phyllis hates her, and her heart almost stopped cold when she walked in.   Blah Phyllis blah secret blah.

 

Phyllis isn’t going to let Victor and Jack argue over her daughter.  She says there is SO MUCH she needs to catch up on.  “Oh, yes, you do,” says Victor.  Jack narrows his eyes.  “It must have been awful for Jack, being alone all that time," says Phyllis, "and I am so sorry for making him suffer.”  “He suffered terribly,” smirks Victor.  Jack says he is ENORMOUSLY relieved and happy Phyllis is back.  He’s like how about you fill her in on Nick and Sharon’s tough times, eh?   He’ll leave the filling in the blanks up to Jack, even though he could really stick it to him right now.  So then why is he there? 

 

Nikki complains that Victor’s never around and she doesn’t know where he is, so she doesn’t return his phone calls.  Paul’s like, sure, is that really why?  Well, it’s because she knows he will tell her not to do this.   But she started the whole thing, and she should end it.  Paul is awesome, he makes her feel strong and capable, he doesn’t keep her in a gilded cage like Victor does.  By the time this is done, they will have gone full circle, as it should be.  They hold hands.

 

Dylan tries to convince us that when Devon bought the club he and Cane asked Dylan the Builder to do a walkthrough with them, and there was a trap door in the basement that goes into an old tunnel because of course.  Seems like something that could be handled with a text.  But Harding has to get to the club to warn everyone.  NO!  ONLY SUPER DYLAN CAN FIND THE HIDDEN TRAPDOOR!  I’m sure anyone can find a door to the whole basement, or the door to Nikki’s suite that Paul is SITTING IN, but DYLAN HAS TO GO WITH HARDING RIGHT NOW!!!  So, who loses a liver this time?

 

Stitch visits Victoria.  She asks if he’s there to serve her papers.  He decided not to get a lawyer, he says sheepishly.   He knows she told him not to read too much into that kiss she gave him…but he did.  Shocker.  “I wanted to make sure what I read was right…”  He grabs her and kisses her passionately, and she returns his kiss with enthusiasm, which whatever.  Who cares.  But he does look good in those jeans.

 

Michael goes over a contract with psychic Madam Isadora, so she’s good to go for the Fenmore’s event.  Michael says he’s been told he has an extraordinarily long LOVE line, but Madam Isadora pooh poohs that.  She’s not some parlor trick PALM READER, for God’s sake.  She’s a true clairvoyant, you guys.  And she can pack’em in, Ms Fenmore.   Lauren leaves, and Madam Isadora and Michael shake hands.  Her face falls.  “Take care of yourself, Mr. Baldwin,” she says sadly before leaving.  Michael looks properly horrified.

 

Noah and Sharon talk about the super epic love between Nick and her.  He teases her about visiting Madam Isadora before he leaves.  Sharon gets her thinking face.

 

Victor tells Phyllis he wanted to welcome her back.  Even though they weren’t close, she was married to his son all those years.  She’s like, yeah, you really loved that.  Jack has to take a phone call.  Phyllis scoots a little closer to Victor.  She wants to talk about something.  He’s like lay it on me.

 

Michael now feels compelled to return Dr. Botnick’s phone call.  “He wants me to make ANOTHER appointment?”  You’re gonna die, dude.

 

Victoria finishes kissing and Stitch and looks a little dazed.  Stitch grins.  “Yeah, I was right.”  Then he LEAVES!  Lol  I didn’t think Stitch had any game, but maybe I was wrong.

 

Paul’s just glad he can be there for Needy Nikki.  Nikki thinks it’s great that psychopath Ian has brought Dylan and Paul and her all together.  “Once Ian is all locked up, where does that leave us?” asks Paul.  What kind of relationship will they have with their 40 year old son?  Someone knocks!!  What if it’s Ian, whispers Nikki.  If it’s Ian, you can handle it, whispers Paul.  He hides behind the door.  IT’S MAUREEN.  With a brown paper bag.  “I got the vodka!  I think we can both use a drink!”  Paul’s SHOCKED.

 

Nick gets home.  Sharon’s fabulous.  She says how about next week, you, me, and the kids, City Hall?  He’s down with that.  He goes in the kitchen, and Sharon calls Madam Isadora to schedule a psychic reading ASAP.

 

Phyllis tells Victor about the flashes she’s been having.  She remembers seeing him at the clinic now.  Was he really there?  He sure was.  He was there the first time she opened her eyes.  He did everything in his power to bring her back.  Now he wants her to do everything in HER power to help HIM.   If it’s to trash Sharon, I don’t think he has to ask twice.

Edited October 23, 2014 by peach

[peach]

Mon, Oct 20    We’re All On A Path That Travels Upon Itself

 

Victor and Phyllis conspire like spiders.  “Recently comatose, little ole me?  Come to the aid of the TGVN?” asks Phyllis.  “How AM I supposed to do that?”  You tell me, says Victor.  She remembers dribs and drabs, like him showing her a photo of Sharon, of all people.  “You and Sharon share information that is of great importance to my son, Nicholas.”  He knows she knows, “so let’s deal.”   Phyllis asks what he’s offering.  He’s like, excuse me??  I already brought you back to life.  He expects to be repaid with information.

 

Summer and Austin are at the club.  Oh, goody, Austin got a job at the gym.  They think it’s sexy, which is easy when you have a trust fund to fall back on.  Jack calls Summer.  “We have A Situation!”

 

Dylan is STILL bitching and moaning at Harding to let him out against Paul’s wishes.  Super Dylan says there’s NO TIME for anything but letting him out so he can find the super secret trapdoor at the club!  There’s definitely NO TIME  to contact Paul.  He tries to convince Harding that Ian will get the jump on Paul and Nikki and the entire police force if he doesn’t let him out.  IT COULD ALREADY BE TOO LATE!

 

Maureen’s at Nikki’s door with a bottle of vodka.  Nikki keeps trying to get rid of her while Paul listens.  Come on, Mo wants to get this party started!  Nikki’s not interested.  Mo gasps…does Nikki have a MAN in there?  Hubba hubba.

 

Michael grudgingly makes an appointment with Dr. Botnick because a psychic frowned at him, and he nags Avery to reschedule a deposition for him, because she’s his legal secretary now instead of his partner.  He knows she’s busy with the case of the man she loves, but could she focus, please? She CANNOT focus, because Joe Superman is standing in her office.

 

Ashley has come in the back of the Abbott manse and surprises Jack.  She asks about Victor’s car being there, and Jack says he came to see Phyllis.  He’s got big issues right now, like THIS PIECE OF PAPER, which is the medical consent to treat Phyllis with anti-coma juice…signed by SUMMER.

 

Phyllis wants to know how Victor is going to use her information.  Well, he doesn’t have enough details about the information (as in any), so he can’t answer that.  Gosh, well, she’s sorry she can’t help him out then.  She requires full disclosure about what he knows, and what he plans to do.  Victor knows they aren’t close, but he also knows neither one of them want to see Sharon with Nick. 
Phyllis claims she’s with JACK now, so she doesn’t care what NICK does, never mind her busting down the door of the chapel.   “Do not use me to hurt him,” she says.  He is using her to HELP his boy.  She’s like what’s the deal?  You use my info to get Nick to ditch Sharon, and bonus, he never speaks to ME again?  He promises to blow Sharon out of the water…but Phyllis’ hands will remain clean.

 

Summer has to get over to Jack’s to see what the showdown is between Grandpa and Daddy.  Austin decides to go too.  She warns him that this is like Clash Of The Titans, her old family versus her new family.  Austin’s like, maybe we shouldn’t go.  He doesn’t like the idea of her being caught in their battle.  SHE IS THEIR BATTLE.  And Summer can’t leave poor, helpless Phyllis alone with them.  Austin says he has her back.  She reminds him not to tell Phyllis they’re married, or that Jack was living with Kelly, or let her use a laptop to get on the internet. 

 

Ashley walks in and hugs Victor.   She politely tells Phyllis she’s glad she’s well, and that she looks fantastic.  Phyllis throws her head back and laughs.  “How did those words feel crawling out of your throat?”  Ashley’s like, still the same old bitch, I see, but she says she was just trying to be polite.  Well, Phyllis is trying to make a reentry, and when people who hate her start making nice, she feels like an invalid.  “Oh, how insensitive of me trying to be pleasant to you,” says Ashley. 

 

Last thing Phyllis remembers is Ashley making an all out attempt to keep her away from her brother.  Ashley thinks a lot has happened since then.   Victor thinks it’s time for him to go find his wife who’s in the middle of a sting to catch a psycho.  Jack says not so fast.  It’s time for him to face the music inside this manila folder!  Victor smiles.

 

Nikki tells Maureen there is no guy!  And she hates to be rude, but some other time, yo!  Maureen’s offended and finally leaves.   Nikki hems and haws to Paul about how all of THAT sounded, but he’s frantically looking at his phone. There’s NO TIME for that, Nikki!  Super Dylan is in the building!  He used his super speed…and he’s already spotted Ian!  “What?!” gasps Nikki.  There’s a knock on the door!  Paul draws his gun.  Nikki opens the door.  Cymbals crash.  It’s IAN WARD.  “Hello, Nicole.”

 

She says he’s early.   He chuckles and asks if she thought her ridiculous trap would stop him from taking what he wants from her?  Oh, Nikki doesn’t think her trap was so ridiculous…she throws open the door and Paul jumps out with his gun!  “GASP!” says Ian.  He tries to run, but gets surrounded by police officers, and Harding, and Dylan, who was 100% unnecessary.  “Ian Ward, you are under arrest.”

 

Avery is flustered and demands to know what Joe is doing there.  He was just innocently looking for some legal advice.  Then she advises him to find another attorney.  Well, he was trying to, he’s there to see Michael Baldwin.  How was he supposed to know she was his partner?  He explains that Cane recommended Michael, and he does notice that she kept the CLARK in her name.  Joe talks to Michael while looking at Avery and somehow manages to make his trip to review commercial real estate documents sound seductive.  Michael asks if she minds.  “Why would I MIND,” snaps Avery who just threw a fit over Joe even being there.

 

Paul reads Ian his rights.  Ian demands they take the cuffs off, but Paul ignores him.  He says if he can’t understand his rights, they will bring in a professional to determine his mental status.  “I’m more sane than anyone here!!”  He tells Paul he’ll be free faster than they can blink.  Nikki swoons and sits down, so Dylan rushes to her side.  She asks how HE got there.  By nagging the shit out of Harding.  Super Dylan totally called it that Ian would come through the hidden trapdoor because of course.   Paul asks if Ian heard that.  “The man you tried to frame for murder, is the man that brought you down.” 

 

Ian zeroes in on Nikki.  “I came back for you, Nicole.  And I’ll be back for you again.”  Dylan jumps up.  He says it’s OVER.  For NOW, says Ian.  Harding drags him out while Ian yells about excessive force.  Paul promises Nikki that Ian won’t slither out of these charges.  They have him dead to rights for kidnapping Mariah.  “He’s out of your life, Nikki,” says Dylan.  Not quite yet, says Nikki.

 

“Face the music, Jack?” asks Victor.  Instead of harassing him, he should be celebrating Phyllis’ good health.   Don’t mar her homecoming with a baseless attack on him.  Jack’s like this is NOT baseless. Ashley thinks he should at least let Victor explain himself.  Summer arrives. 

 

Jack explains that Victor secretly arranged for experimental treatment of Phyllis by pulling strings and committing crimes.  “Sweetheart, helping your mother come out of a coma is hardly a crime.”  Jack shows her the consent form with her signature, and he also accuses Victor of providing the art grant to get Daniel out of the country.  Summer looks at the consent form and tells everyone that Victor tricked her into signing it.  Victor seems bemused by their Clue detective work.

 

Michael is happy to take Superman’s business, I mean, who wouldn’t be?  He has to go to his appointment with death, leaving Avery alone with Joe.  She asks him why he pretended he didn’t know she was Michael’s partner.  “What kind of game are you playing, Joe?”  He looks like he’s imagining some games right now.

 

Dylan, Paul, and Nikki are back in Paul’s office.  Paul asks why she feels the need to face Ian one more time?  Dylan says he stresses her out too much.  Paul and Super Dylan are wonderful, but she just has to look that creeper in the eye one more time and tell him what she thinks.  She marches out into the station to confront him.  “Nicole!  I knew you wouldn’t be able to stay away from me,” he smiles.
Nikki tells him the game is OVER.  He has no power over her anymore.  She monologues about their history, and then she says he is gone.  “Oh, you think you’ve won,” says Ian.  She knows so!  He just laughs at her.  He admires her little family tableau with Paul and Dylan, and asks what’s missing.  Oh, that’s right, her HUSBAND!  “You always did love to play the field,” he laughs.  Paul has to hold Super Dylan back! 

 

Victor tells Summer to look at the bigger picture.  Summer likes pictures.  Her mother is here and she is well.  Rocket Scientist Summer figures out that he tricked her when she signed the trust fund documents!  Grandpa, she trusted you when you were giving her all that money, and you LIED to her.  “WHY was my daughter signing trust fund documents?” demands Phyllis.  Summer’s like, uhhh, that’s not the point! 

 

She asks why Victor didn’t just ASK her to sign it.  He claims that JackAbbott would have blocked any attempt that came from him.  Jack angrily denies this.  Victor says if he had done nothing, Phyllis would still be comatose, because of the man she loves.  Jack says that’s absurd!  Is it?  Why don’t they all ask Jack why he didn’t go to greater lengths to find a cure for the woman he loves?  Summer and Phyllis stare at Jack with suspicion!

 

Avery is like, HOW can you pretend you didn’t know Michael was my partner, when you CALLED me to congratulate my new PARTNERSHIP?  Joe’s like, I didn’t pay any attention to who your partner was!  I’m a dude!  “Why would I lie about that?”  She can’t think of a reason.  But truth be told, he’s not sorry he got to see her again.  She stares nervously.

 

Ian enjoys taunting them some more.  He so enjoys Dylan’s temper because it made it SO easy to convince people he was a murderer.   Paul says what he didn’t count on was how well Paul knows his Super Son and that he wouldn’t commit a murder.  Ian says he knows he had his doubts!  Paul says but HIS SON is too honest and decent to do that.  Ian tries not to vom.  He says how does Paul know that, look at those eyes!   “How close are you right now to strangling me, huh?” he laughs.  “Yeah, there’s evil inside there!”  This goes on for a while.  They stand together as a family while Ian has nothing.  Neither does Christine.  Nikki and Dylan embrace. 

 

Paul tosses Ian in a jail cell.   Ian reminds Paul what he taught him about this show:  we’re all on a path that travels upon itself, time, the universe moves in a circle that never ends.  If you would only grasp that truth then you would know, NOTHING IS OVER!   Paul’s like, sure, buddy, and locks him in.  Once he’s gone, Ian looks pretty worried.

 

Jack insists he moved heaven and earth trying to find a cure for Phyllis!  Just not Switzerland.  And he wants to know what OTHER crimes Victor committed trying to FIND this treatment.   Victor asks Phyllis, is she or is she not grateful for his part in her cure.  Well, okay, yes.  But that was before she knew he manipulated Summer.  Did he get her to sign anything else?  Yeah, that’s what Austin wants to know!  He doesn’t like seeing Summer manipulated by the guy that kept his ass out of prison.   Victor’s like did anyone ask you, peon?   All he did was find her a cure.  Ashley thinks he has a point, of course.

 

Jack is happy about the outcome but he DOES NOT APPROVE of how he got there, and he is going to LOOK INTO IT.  Victor doesn’t giveadamn!  Jack is like what about SIDE EFFECTS.  Oh noes, says Summer.  Phyllis claims not have any side effects, she feels stronger by the minute, and she wants this argument over NOW.  Jack tells him to leave and stay away from Phyllis.  Victor is sure Phyllis will not forget to thank HIM for curing her.  He leaves, and Ashley tries to change the subject by asking how Phyllis likes her new son-in-law.  Uh-oh.  “You’re already married??”

 

Avery doesn’t know why Joe would want to see her again, they’ve been divorced for years.  He’s concerned about her since Dylan is locked up.  She insists she’s fine, and she needs to get back to work. They argue about Dylan being innocent.  She is STANDING BY Dylan.  “Like you stood by me?” he asks.

 

Paul is so proud of Dylan for not beating Ian to a pulp.  Dylan admits Paul’s way was the right way, and nobody had to get blood on their hands or the carpet or anything.  Nikki says it was a very effective plan.  Dylan guesses they’re done now.  He starts to leave and turns back to say they ALL made it work.  Especially you, Nikki.  She sinks into Paul’s shoulder with relief.  It’s over.

 

Victor gets to the club and has a flashback to the fight with Nikki when she wore the green jacket and knocked over the roses because she was hammered.  He wonders about it.  He tries to call her AGAIN.  The staff said she was at the club, so he’s there looking for her.  Drunken Maureen overhears him at the bar.

 

Phyllis gets after Summer for lying to her.  She’s like are there grandkids running around somewhere, too?!  Everyone says no, but she asks if she can get that in writing.  Austin says Summer was just trying to protect her.  She’s HAD IT with being protected.   When was this marriage?  Back in July, so Phyllis says there’s enough time to get an annulment.  Summer LOVES AUSTIN and she is NOT getting an annulment!  “We’ll see about that,” says Phyllis.  Summer freaks out and says other people have already tried to break up their marriage.  IT WILL NOT WORK.  Jack says that’s true, he even tried to bring in the police, but then backed down because of Kelly. 

 

Jack says she needs time to let it sink in.  Phyllis doesn’t think time is going to help.  Summer’s barely out of her teens.  “I’m an ADULT!” declares Summer.  “Who JUST got tricked into signing legal documents, sweetie.”  Burn.  Summer says lesson learned, but she’s not going to wreck her marriage.  She runs out and Austin follows.  Ashley excuses herself. 

 

Jack knows this marriage was a shock.  He was sure shocked when they eloped.  ELOPED??  He says they had a church service later.  Phyllis is livid that he didn’t try to stop them EITHER TIME?  Jack says to take her frustration out on him, but don’t fight this fight with Summer.  She’s every bit as stubborn as her mother.  He’s more worried about Victor’s accusation that he didn’t try to get her out of the coma.  Phyllis never doubted Jack.  He knows Victor’s real motivation anyway, which was to uncover information that could hurt Nick.   She admits Victor talked to her about it.  Jack says Sharon can’t even remember it, but she knows that Phyllis is the keeper of the secret.  Phyllis says it’s a convenient thing to forget.  “Then you DO know what this information is?” asks Jack.

 

Michael sees the doctor.   His PSA blood level’s elevated.  “I have cancer?” asks Michael.  That Madam Isadora knows her stuff.

 

Phyllis says that’s not what she meant, she just thinks it’s suspicious that Sharon would forget something so important.  And she doesn’t care about stupid Sharon right now because her head is spinning over Summer being married.  Austin comes in and asks if he can talk to Phyllis in private.  He’s super sorry for how all this went down.  He loves Summer, and he’d do anything for her.  Okay, she has a way to prove he’s worthy of her. I hope it doesn’t involve sex.

 

Ashley finds Jack in the dining room and apologizes for spilling the beans about Summer.  Jack says it’s okay, Phyllis is a lot stronger than they gave her credit for.  “Do you think she’s strong enough to learn that some other woman is sleeping in her bed??”  Jack’s like, hell, no.

 

Phyllis says Austin can prove himself by telling her what everyone is keeping from her.  Austin’s like, uhhh, like what?  She says there has to be something big they’re all holding back on.   How about he just gives her his cell phone so she get on the internet.  Austin’s like, omg, that was on the list!  He can't.  She’s like, now, Austin, if you love Summer and want her mother’s support, then hand over the damn phone.  Summer comes in and saves him, though.  Phyllis says she and Austin are coming to an understanding.

 

Avery asks Joe if he’s picking a fight with her.  Blah blah.  She’s like, whatever, we’re divorced.  Talk to Michael about your business.  Hey, about that business…Avery opens the door and it’s SUPER DYLAN!  They hug!  Joe stares daggers at them.  He’s plays it cool and is all like, so, you must be Dylan.  Dylan has his best blank expression on and says, “Who are you?”  O_o  Seriously, dude, you’ve NEVER seen a photo of this guy?  Joe’s like, I’m just the guy who’s going to tear down your two bit coffee shop, dumbass.

 

Maureen gets Victor’s attention and says she can help him with Nikki.  Victor is skeptical, but Mo says she knows where she is.   What a great friend.

 

Paul tells Nikki he knows she’s been under a lot of pressure lately…but that friendly visitor she had today, toting the bottle of vodka?  “Have you been drinking again?”  Nikki stares at him like she’s never heard of vodka.

[movinon]

 

Victor is sure Phyllis will not forget to thank HIM for curing her.  He leaves, and Ashley tries to change the subject by asking how Phyllis likes her new son-in-law.  Uh-oh.  “You’re already married??”

I love the actress, but I detest Ashley and her stupid adoration of Victor.  She follows Victor to the door and gives him a sweet hug for all the devastation he has just caused her family.  He admits tricking "oh so smart" Summer, insults Austin, and of course, insults Jack repeatedly, who need no help looking stupid,  I have no doubt he would have insulted Mrs. Martinez if she had stepped in.  Ashley, then has to drop the bomb about Summer's marriage.  For someone who is supposedly a brilliant business-woman, she does one stupid thing after another.  AND, just when I was beginning to tolerate Victor again, he reverts to type and becomes an ass, one more time.