S15.E11: Jonel

[Tara Ariano]

Quote

A woman battles meth and suboxone addiction following the sudden passing of her boyfriend.

[Primetimer]

Years of suboxone and hopelessness have put a decade on the 23-year-old's face. Can she turn back the clock?

View the full article

[Court]

The name of her son distracted me all episode. Thunder? 

I hope she stays sober. What a transformation at the end. 

[mythoughtis]

The name didn't throw me.  I have read somewhere that traditional Indian names referred to sights/sounds around the baby after it was born.  Later in life, the name could change based upon significant events. 

I have little sympathy for someone who says  that her children complete her, but she's never taken care of either of them in her entire life.  The Mom has always taken care of the 1st one, and the Aunt and Uncle the second one.  Why would anyone have thought she was going to take care of Thunder when she wasn't taking care of the first one,  and he was born addicted.     

Why did Jonel's Mom build the  young daughters hopes up about her spending the night, when she knows  that Jonel never keeps her word?  I smell produtions' hands in this.

I'm afraid that the two young kids are not going to be prevented from being another generation of drug addicts.  The adults just seem to feel it is a given that the people on the reservation will use drugs, rather than do anything about it.  Many parents feel their 'neighborhoods' aren't ... good for their kids.... so, guess what, they move.  They go to college, they do what it takes.  They don't just lie there and take it.

[mythoughtis]

OMG - Mom.... step up and be the Mom.  Don't sit here and cry because Jonel may be gone to treatment.  This is your one way to start making up for what you did to your own children with your own addition.  Instead, she bawls, and crys and says she won't be able to be strong.   Be an adult.  Show your daughter how to be one.

[Enero]

2 hours ago, mythoughtis said:

 

I'm afraid that the two young kids are not going to be prevented from being another generation of drug addicts.  The adults just seem to feel it is a given that the people on the reservation will use drugs, rather than do anything about it.  

Sadly I agree about the kids likely being another statistic. The family looked to be very poor and there didn't look to be much chance for opportunity on the reservation.

Many parents feel their 'neighborhoods' aren't ... good for their kids.... so, guess what, they move.  They go to college, they do what it takes.  They don't just lie there and take it.

Easier said than done. As a friend has always told me it's impossible to pull yourself up by your bootstraps when there are no bootstraps to pull up. As stated before, the family did not look to have much money. I think when the mom lived outside the reservation before, it was when she was married, then she moved back after the divorce. Additionally, I suspect there are a lot of cultural and economical reasons why someone would remain on the reservation or return even with what appears to be a difficult environment.   

That said, I'm not sure what to think of Jonel. I'm glad she got clean and seems to be committed to her sobriety by continuing her sober living in Arizona. She did look a thousand times better after 90 days. I hope that she can stay clean and at the very least built a positive relationship with her children. 

Btw, I didn't have an issue with the name Thunder either. Like someone said upthread, I figured the name was related to her Native American heritage. 

[Court]

Sorry, I didn't connect the name to her heritage. That makes sense.

 

It just threw me. I hope I didn't offend.

[Vivigirl10]

That poor, poor, sweet, little daughter.  Frankly, I was way more pissed at Jonel's Mom than I was at her for putting that innocent child through such agony.  You know Jonel is a drug addict who doesn't keep her word.  Why set the child up for such a let down?  And then actively push her into a scene of wailing and hanging onto Jonel....because that's exactly what the Mom was doing!  Was she using the daughter's emotion to punish Jonel?  Nice way to be her protector.  

I wondered if the Aunt & Uncle kept Thunder completely away from her.  Seemed like the best option.  

[JenMcSnark]

On 7/25/2016 at 4:26 PM, mythoughtis said:

The name didn't throw me.  I have read somewhere that traditional Indian names referred to sights/sounds around the baby after it was born.  Later in life, the name could change based upon significant events. 

I have little sympathy for someone who says  that her children complete her, but she's never taken care of either of them in her entire life.  The Mom has always taken care of the 1st one, and the Aunt and Uncle the second one.  Why would anyone have thought she was going to take care of Thunder when she wasn't taking care of the first one,  and he was born addicted.     

Why did Jonel's Mom build the  young daughters hopes up about her spending the night, when she knows  that Jonel never keeps her word?  I smell produtions' hands in this.

I'm afraid that the two young kids are not going to be prevented from being another generation of drug addicts.  The adults just seem to feel it is a given that the people on the reservation will use drugs, rather than do anything about it.  Many parents feel their 'neighborhoods' aren't ... good for their kids.... so, guess what, they move.  They go to college, they do what it takes.  They don't just lie there and take it.

 

On 7/25/2016 at 7:28 PM, Enero said:

Sadly I agree about the kids likely being another statistic. The family looked to be very poor and there didn't look to be much chance for opportunity on the reservation.

Easier said than done. As a friend has always told me it's impossible to pull yourself up by your bootstraps when there are no bootstraps to pull up. As stated before, the family did not look to have much money. I think when the mom lived outside the reservation before, it was when she was married, then she moved back after the divorce. Additionally, I suspect there are a lot of cultural and economical reasons why someone would remain on the reservation or return even with what appears to be a difficult environment.   

That said, I'm not sure what to think of Jonel. I'm glad she got clean and seems to be committed to her sobriety by continuing her sober living in Arizona. She did look a thousand times better after 90 days. I hope that she can stay clean and at the very least built a positive relationship with her children. 

Btw, I didn't have an issue with the name Thunder either. Like someone said upthread, I figured the name was related to her Native American heritage. 

Enero is right.  I worked at a group home for boys for a couple years and one of my main jobs was driving the kids to their home visits (which weren't often because most of the parents had lost custody due to addiction and/or abuse/molestation).

I will never, ever forget my experience with a 14 year old Native American boy.  I took him home to his small, Northern California reservation on two occasions.  The first one was a visit to his tribe's annual Indian Days celebration.  I was under explicit orders that I was to keep him in eyesight at all times and, under no circumstances was he to go to his actual home.

The reservation itself is like a dream when you first arrive.  It's very remote and located in a valley.  You pull in and it's beautiful and all the communal grounds are well-kept, etc.  I enjoyed my first visit so much and it seemed very ideal.

A few months later, he and his family earned an actual "home" visit.  When we arrived at the reservation, he tried to convince me to drop him off at a communal building and call his family to come there.  I had to refuse.  He finally admitted that he was embarrassed about his home and didn't want anyone to see how he grew up.

After I reassured him, we proceeded.  It was all I could do to hide my shock.  When you turned into the little tract of houses, it was like a wasteland.  Trash all over.  Broken windows/bad condition in many of the houses.  Graffiti.  Broken down cars everywhere.  His house was one of the worst.  

No wonder he and his cousin had some of the worst anger issues I had ever encountered.  I don't understand how it got that way or why everything else was so nice, but it was an eye-opener for sure.  And I know that is the story on a lot of reservations.  Unemployment.  Lack of schooling.  Rampant drug and alcohol abuse.  It's really quite sad.

For the record, his mother was a very nice woman.  But the drug and alcohol abuse was a family heritage.  I hope that kid escaped it.  I still wonder about him.  

[JenMcSnark]

I just found this from an article about the reservation I mentioned.  

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For the Tribe, one of California’s largest with more than 4,500 citizens, the settlement brings hope, as 89 percent of the Reservation’s Indian population is unemployed due mostly to the extreme isolation. Sixty-eight percent live below poverty guidelines according to a Bureau of Indian Affairs Labor Force Report the release stated.

“We have hope that the settlement funds will help solve some of the Tribe’s longstanding societal problems and help our people become self-sufficient and proud,” said Jamison. “We are grateful for the opportunity to make a better future for ourselves and our children.”

 

Read more athttp://indiancountrytodaymedianetwork.com/2012/05/02/round-valley-indian-tribes-receive-85m-renumeration-united-states-111054

 Like the Blackfeet, most reservations are isolated and not in prosperous areas (because that land went to the white settlers).  

[IvySpice]

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Many parents feel their 'neighborhoods' aren't ... good for their kids.... so, guess what, they move.

They face the challenges poor rural people everywhere face. Where are you supposed to go? With what money when all your family is back at home? But there's a whole other layer when you're talking about the reservation. That's their homeland. It is the only place in the world where their nation is still sovereign. It is the only place where their culture is alive. It's a place where being Blackfeet doesn't make you a minority. Even on other reservations in Montana, the language and history is different. 

We don't know if these factors play directly into Windy's decisions, but that's the context we should take into account.

The producers showed a shot of Native kids at a boarding school, but they didn't really explain what that was all about. The reverberations from whole generations of children effectively being kidnapped and separated from their families for years led directly to the broken parenting we saw in this episode. 

[pasdetrois]

I have worked with tribes for decades and worked on the Blackfeet reservation. Of course it's true there is abject poverty and despair, but many of the tribes have established more infrastructure the past 20 years. Part of that is from gaming proceeds, part is from other business opportunities. Interesting note: a Blackfeet woman, the late Elouise Cobell, led a successful effort to sue the federal government for its failure to fulfill its fiduciary duties as a trustee of native assets, and there is a landmark settlement. Also, the rural American South is just as bad. Paul Theroux the travel writer spent a couple years traveling there for his latest book, and he compared it to third-world poverty. I see it every time I visit relatives in rural MS, LA and AL.

It seems that the price of recovery and sobriety is separation from family, and the victimized children break my heart. They just can't win.

I appreciated that Jonel's uncle had a kind word and a hug for Brandon. It helped him into recovery.

[Barb23]

I wonder what Jonel's aunt & uncle's source of income is?  Was that their house they were in during the intervention ?  It looked like a very nice log cabin type of house.

That was a weird turn of events during the intervention. They thought that Brandon was going to hold Jonel back but then it was vice versa.  Wishing both Jonel & Brandon the best but think that not returning to the reservation would be in their best interests, at least for awhile.

[pasdetrois]

Given the extremely remote locations, harsh weather, etc. often the only jobs on a reservation are working for the tribal government. Or people lucky enough to own a vehicle drive a long way to a job site. A large nation such as this one has tribal accountants, social workers, teachers, IT specialists, law enforcement, health workers, etc. Some of those jobs are for the local offices of federal agencies that support the tribes. But of course there aren't enough jobs for everyone, not by a long shot.

I mentioned a trust - some Indians receive dividends from a federal trust fund that was established long ago and is managed by the federal government on their behalf. For example, a parcel of land that is leased for cattle grazing. But in many cases the payments have become tiny - a couple dollars - because of so many descendants of the original account holder. Mrs. Cobell and Blackfeet Chief Earl Old Person were original litigants who sued the federal government. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indian_trustfund_lawsuit

And the Blackfeet have their own bank.

I think the lob cabin building was a tribal building.