Small Talk: Out of Genoa

[Cupid Stunt]

Have a great day, Gloriole! 

[jewel21]

Happy birthday, Gloriole!!! I hope you have a wonderful day despite the Neil sadness. Have some cake!

[Cupid Stunt]

• The goose that conquered America

• What people don’t get about why planes crash -- The hero pilot is an enduring character. This may explain why, when planes crash — as two Boeing 737 Maxs have over the past five months — people immediately speculate about the folks in the cockpit. “Was it pilot error?” I am often asked by those who know my background as a former air accident investigator and the author of The Crash Detectives. Pilots may be the first to arrive at the accident scene, as the saying goes, but the question still troubles me. Accidents are never the result of one thing or one person. They lie at the end of a long chain of events.

The cheap and shady business of taking selfies with tigers -- You can take a selfie with a tiger for a couple bucks in some zoos around the US and the world. That doesn’t mean you should.

Bengal tiger resting on Sleeping Buddha at the Theravada Buddhist temple in the Sai Yok, Thailand.

[Cupid Stunt]

In 1958, Joan Anderson (94) a native Australian, visited her homeland on vacation. On the beach, lots of people were playing with a device they referred to casually as “the hoop,” a circle made of bamboo that they twirled around on their hips. Anderson brought one back to her husband, and they decided it would be a great idea to market stateside. She began calling the toy the “hula hoop.” Anderson’s husband consulted Arthur Melin, a business acquaintance, about partnering with Melin’s company, Wham-O, one of the biggest toy manufacturers at the time, to market and distribute the hoop. Melin thought it was a brilliant idea. took the idea and ran with it. Until his death, Melin maintained that he had invented the Hula-Hoop as Americans today know it. In the film, Anderson explains that because she and her husband failed to patent the device, they lost the lawsuit they filed against the Wham-O Corporation after the Hula-Hoop became enormously successful.

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• US measles outbreak is largest since disease was declared eliminated in 2000

• Extinction Rebellion, the climate protesters disrupting London, explained -- Activists want the UK to commit to zero net emissions by 2025. Is that possible?
• Why the US bears the most responsibility for climate change, in one chart 

• To grow up healthy, children need to sit less and play more -- New WHO guidelines on physical activity, sedentary behavior and sleep for children under 5 years of age

• Skydiver reunited with prosthetic leg he lost while 10,000 feet in the air

• Bookstores band together for Independent Bookstore Day

• Tyson sells stake in plant-based meat maker Beyond Meat to develop its own line of alternative protein products

• Gold worth billions smuggled out of Africa

Edited April 25, 2019 by Cupid Stunt

[Cupid Stunt]

Recently Thing1 found a box of unmarked mini cassettes, and feeling nostalgic, asked to see some videos. I found the now long-antiquated camcorder and rigged it to the TV, popped in one of dozens of cassettes and pressed play. It was Thing2's 5th Batman birthday party and he was overjoyed playing a NERF game with his friends and cousins. 

Thing1 and I were laughing along, commenting on the other party guests when I heard it: a sound that caught me up. It was my grandfather’s voice just off camera. He’s been gone for 10 years, but suddenly he was in the room, full-throated and laughing, talking to us. He was more than a memory from the past. He was alive, speaking for himself. We were no longer a family living with the empty chair, the unpolished boots in the mud room, the missing laughter; he was there and I was whole again.

I miss my grandfather, but I didn’t realize how much until I heard his voice. It was back again: his humor, his warmth, the pride he had in his family. It was a surprise to feel the pull of memory his voice triggered in me: security of family, yearning for the land, the belonging to something greater than myself. I miss his measured surety. 

As Thing1 and I watched the rest of the video play out on the screen, Grampa stepped into frame next to my son, and my heart broke a little as he embraced Thing2 and they exploded in laughter. I'm grateful for that sharp pang of grief and sudden joy remembering what it was like to be loved by him.

[boes]

7 minutes ago, Cupid Stunt said:

Recently Thing1 found a box of unmarked mini cassettes, and feeling nostalgic, asked to see some videos. I found the now long-antiquated camcorder and rigged it to the TV, popped in one of dozens of cassettes and pressed play. It was Thing2's 5th Batman birthday party and he was overjoyed playing a NERF game with his friends and cousins. 

Thing1 and I were laughing along, commenting on the other party guests when I heard it: a sound that caught me up. It was my grandfather’s voice just off camera. He’s been gone for 10 years, but suddenly he was in the room, full-throated and laughing, talking to us. He was more than a memory from the past. He was alive, speaking for himself. We were no longer a family living with the empty chair, the unpolished boots in the mud room, the missing laughter; he was there and I was whole again.

I miss my grandfather, but I didn’t realize how much until I heard his voice. It was back again: his humor, his warmth, the pride he had in his family. It was a surprise to feel the pull of memory his voice triggered in me: security of family, yearning for the land, the belonging to something greater than myself. I miss his measured surety. 

As Thing1 and I watched the rest of the video play out on the screen, Grampa stepped into frame next to my son, and my heart broke a little as he embraced Thing2 and they exploded in laughter. I'm grateful for that sharp pang of grief and sudden joy remembering what it was like to be loved by him.

How lovely - and sweet and sad and all things inbetween.  That tape is a treasure, your memories, priceless.

[Cupid Stunt]

(((boes)))

I've been struggling with the KSJ/Neil Winters episodes. Every time I try to post something it veers into weepy nonsense, and I delete it. 

Hearing KSJ's voice in one of the flashbacks brought back the memory of watching the video of my grandfather.

Now, back to my blubbering and nose-blowing.

[bannana]

4 hours ago, Cupid Stunt said:

Recently Thing1 found a box of unmarked mini cassettes, and feeling nostalgic, asked to see some videos. I found the now long-antiquated camcorder and rigged it to the TV, popped in one of dozens of cassettes and pressed play. It was Thing2's 5th Batman birthday party and he was overjoyed playing a NERF game with his friends and cousins. 

Thing1 and I were laughing along, commenting on the other party guests when I heard it: a sound that caught me up. It was my grandfather’s voice just off camera. He’s been gone for 10 years, but suddenly he was in the room, full-throated and laughing, talking to us. He was more than a memory from the past. He was alive, speaking for himself. We were no longer a family living with the empty chair, the unpolished boots in the mud room, the missing laughter; he was there and I was whole again.

I miss my grandfather, but I didn’t realize how much until I heard his voice. It was back again: his humor, his warmth, the pride he had in his family. It was a surprise to feel the pull of memory his voice triggered in me: security of family, yearning for the land, the belonging to something greater than myself. I miss his measured surety. 

As Thing1 and I watched the rest of the video play out on the screen, Grampa stepped into frame next to my son, and my heart broke a little as he embraced Thing2 and they exploded in laughter. I'm grateful for that sharp pang of grief and sudden joy remembering what it was like to be loved by him.

How amazing to have that memory.  My grandparents were all in Europe, and by the time I visited there, they were mostly gone. You are very lucky to have grandparent memories.  It's a beautiful remembrance @Cupid Stunt. 

[Cupid Stunt]

"How about a little fire, Scarecrow?"

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• Tracking Africa’s smuggled gold

• Some Amazon Sellers Are Paying $10,000 A Month To Trick Their Way To The Top -- An emerging black market offers Amazon sellers pricey ways to cheat the marketplace and mislead customers

[Cupid Stunt]

7 hours ago, bannana said:

How amazing to have that memory.  My grandparents were all in Europe, and by the time I visited there, they were mostly gone. You are very lucky to have grandparent memories.  It's a beautiful remembrance @Cupid Stunt. 

(((Bannana)))

The past is never so far away as we imagine. Thank you everyone.

[AngelKitty]

Hi guys, I'm going to use you to vent because if I don't do something, I'm going to explode. Here's what's happening:

My MIL passed away a month ago. She was 94 years old and in pain, she's not suffering anymore and is at peace. Mr. A's sister has been handling the details up until this point and has refused my help at all which seemed kind of weird since I just went through all this with my own mother 4 years ago.

Anyway, she invited us to go to a lawyer for the will and we all went last week. Before her mother passed, she had her write a new will giving her 2/3 and Mr. A 1/3 instead of 1/2 and 1/2 which is what it had always been. 

Now you have to understand that I had a very good relationship with my MIL and she had gone over the will and the trust she had in place because she respected me and knew I would understand everything.

So, when I saw the changed will, I asked about the trust and the lawyer didn't know anything about a trust. Heh, heh, Sister thought she put one over on her brother. I really think the MIL trusted me more than her daughter because I'm sure that woman knew a will is only good for things not in the trust and she only did it to stop the daughter from bugging her about it.

Whew! thanks, I feel calmer now. Sorry.

[peacheslatour]

10 minutes ago, AngelKitty said:

Hi guys, I'm going to use you to vent because if I don't do something, I'm going to explode. Here's what's happening:

My MIL passed away a month ago. She was 94 years old and in pain, she's not suffering anymore and is at peace. Mr. A's sister has been handling the details up until this point and has refused my help at all which seemed kind of weird since I just went through all this with my own mother 4 years ago.

Anyway, she invited us to go to a lawyer for the will and we all went last week. Before her mother passed, she had her write a new will giving her 2/3 and Mr. A 1/3 instead of 1/2 and 1/2 which is what it had always been. 

Now you have to understand that I had a very good relationship with my MIL and she had gone over the will and the trust she had in place because she respected me and knew I would understand everything.

So, when I saw the changed will, I asked about the trust and the lawyer didn't know anything about a trust. Heh, heh, Sister thought she put one over on her brother. I really think the MIL trusted me more than her daughter because I'm sure that woman knew a will is only good for things not in the trust and she only did it to stop the daughter from bugging her about it.

Whew! thanks, I feel calmer now. Sorry.

It's amazing how families turn on each other when there is money involved. My husband only speaks to his mother through attorneys now that his father has passed. His dad wanted him to have certain things and his sister convinced my MIL to cut him off entirely. Your SIL sounds like mine.

[AngelKitty]

26 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

Your SIL sounds like mine.

I'm so disappointed in her. I really thought we were friends. Oh, well. At least she's not getting away with it. The worst thing for her is that we would have negotiated with her if she hadn't done this. Now I don't want to give her anything extra.

[peacheslatour]

11 minutes ago, AngelKitty said:

I'm so disappointed in her. I really thought we were friends. Oh, well. At least she's not getting away with it. The worst thing for her is that we would have negotiated with her if she hadn't done this. Now I don't want to give her anything extra.

Mine is never to set foot in my house again. She gave us no quarter, she'll get none from us.

[boes]

2 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

It's amazing how families turn on each other when there is money involved. My husband only speaks to his mother through attorneys now that his father has passed. His dad wanted him to have certain things and his sister convinced my MIL to cut him off entirely. Your SIL sounds like mine.

2 hours ago, AngelKitty said:

Hi guys, I'm going to use you to vent because if I don't do something, I'm going to explode. Here's what's happening:

My MIL passed away a month ago. She was 94 years old and in pain, she's not suffering anymore and is at peace. Mr. A's sister has been handling the details up until this point and has refused my help at all which seemed kind of weird since I just went through all this with my own mother 4 years ago.

Anyway, she invited us to go to a lawyer for the will and we all went last week. Before her mother passed, she had her write a new will giving her 2/3 and Mr. A 1/3 instead of 1/2 and 1/2 which is what it had always been. 

Now you have to understand that I had a very good relationship with my MIL and she had gone over the will and the trust she had in place because she respected me and knew I would understand everything.

So, when I saw the changed will, I asked about the trust and the lawyer didn't know anything about a trust. Heh, heh, Sister thought she put one over on her brother. I really think the MIL trusted me more than her daughter because I'm sure that woman knew a will is only good for things not in the trust and she only did it to stop the daughter from bugging her about it.

Whew! thanks, I feel calmer now. Sorry.

That's astounding and sad and infuriating and so hurtful.  I'm glad that your sister-in-law was foiled in her ugly attempt, AngelKitty  and I'm sorry that your's wasn't, Peacheslatour.  That crap leaves wounds that never heal over, and for what?  A few more bucks, a few more things......

Your sister-in-law dishonored her mother, AngelKitty and your sister-in-law dishonored her father, Peacheslatour and I'm so sorry you've been touched with sort of cruelty.  The ugliness taints them, though, not you.  But the hurt, that's the gift that keeps on giving.

Small hearts like theirs, though, wizened and dried up are what they have to live with.

So sorry for what you've been through.

[peacheslatour]

30 minutes ago, boes said:

That's astounding and sad and infuriating and so hurtful.  I'm glad that your sister-in-law was foiled in her ugly attempt, AngelKitty  and I'm sorry that your's wasn't, Peacheslatour.  That crap leaves wounds that never heal over, and for what?  A few more bucks, a few more things......

Your sister-in-law dishonored her mother, AngelKitty and your sister-in-law dishonored her father, Peacheslatour and I'm so sorry you've been touched with sort of cruelty.  The ugliness taints them, though, not you.  But the hurt, that's the gift that keeps on giving.

Small hearts like theirs, though, wizened and dried up are what they have to live with.

So sorry for what you've been through.

Thanks, man. All I can say is I'm damned glad I'm an only child.

[Gam2]

When I read these comments from so many of you, I realize that I’m so glad that I’m a better person than those people. Not that I’m tooting my own horn but I know that I’d never treat anyone in my family the way you’ve been treated. How can anyone with a conscience live with herself when she’s so greedy that she’d cheat her own family members? I cannot even conceive of such a thing and thank God that I think that way. I’d never be able to show my face in my family again. 

[peacheslatour]

1 minute ago, Gam2 said:

When I read these comments from so many of you, I realize that I’m so glad that I’m a better person than those people. Not that I’m tooting my own horn but I know that I’d never treat anyone in my family the way you’ve been treated. How can anyone with a conscience live with herself when she’s so greedy that she’d cheat her own family members? I cannot even conceive of such a thing and thank God that I think that way. I’d never be able to show my face in my family again. 

Preverts are good people. My SIL would never fit in here. She was born with no sense of humor. Ironically enough, she calls herself a  Christian.

[Gam2]

1 minute ago, peacheslatour said:

Preverts are good people. My SIL would never fit in here. She was born with no sense of humor. Ironically enough, she calls herself a  Christian.

Sadly, I know some folks who truly believe they’re Christians, attend church every time the doors are open and stand in judgment of everyone they know. I do believe that God will stand in judgment of them at the Gates and say “Nope, shame on you.”  

[Cupid Stunt]

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[Cupid Stunt]

17 hours ago, AngelKitty said:

Hi guys, I'm going to use you to vent because if I don't do something, I'm going to explode. Here's what's happening:

My MIL passed away a month ago. She was 94 years old and in pain, she's not suffering anymore and is at peace. Mr. A's sister has been handling the details up until this point and has refused my help at all which seemed kind of weird since I just went through all this with my own mother 4 years ago.

Anyway, she invited us to go to a lawyer for the will and we all went last week. Before her mother passed, she had her write a new will giving her 2/3 and Mr. A 1/3 instead of 1/2 and 1/2 which is what it had always been. 

Now you have to understand that I had a very good relationship with my MIL and she had gone over the will and the trust she had in place because she respected me and knew I would understand everything.

So, when I saw the changed will, I asked about the trust and the lawyer didn't know anything about a trust. Heh, heh, Sister thought she put one over on her brother. I really think the MIL trusted me more than her daughter because I'm sure that woman knew a will is only good for things not in the trust and she only did it to stop the daughter from bugging her about it.

Whew! thanks, I feel calmer now. Sorry.

I'm sorry you and your husband have to go through this shortly after your MIL's death. It is discouraging when people choose to irrevocably ruin relationships over so little.

Take heart, AngelKitty. You know exactly what you're up against.

[AngelKitty]

40 minutes ago, Cupid Stunt said:

Take heart, AngelKitty. You know exactly what you're up against.

Thank you for your support. I knew I could count on my Y&R preverts. Please forgive me if I update you periodically. The latest is a text to Mr. A wanting to talk to him without me because now I have shown my colors of being greedy. She's trying to make me the villain because I foiled her plan but I have only ever been generous with her.

This hurts my feelings so much. And I have to admit to you guys that I started taking anti-depressants about a month ago because it seemed like I was crying all the time but since taking these pills, I haven't cried at all and I was kind of worried about that but now I'm thankful.

[Cupid Stunt]

1 hour ago, AngelKitty said:

Thank you for your support. I knew I could count on my Y&R preverts. Please forgive me if I update you periodically. The latest is a text to Mr. A wanting to talk to him without me because now I have shown my colors of being greedy. She's trying to make me the villain because I foiled her plan but I have only ever been generous with her.

This hurts my feelings so much. And I have to admit to you guys that I started taking anti-depressants about a month ago because it seemed like I was crying all the time but since taking these pills, I haven't cried at all and I was kind of worried about that but now I'm thankful.

Of course she wants to talk to Mr. A without your immediate input. <shakes head> Yes, let's burn more bridges.

Not knowing the terms of the new will and trust of your MIL, it might be advisable to speak to a lawyer that specializes in Family Law, if only to know what your rights and fiduciary duties might entail. Your SIL might have her lawyer file a writ in Probate Court to attempt control any claims on the terms of the will. This will end up draining the proceeds to pay the lawyers and court costs, while tying up the settlement and increasing the tax liability. 

Talk to people you know for a recommendation for a lawyer. If you come up empty, contact the lawyer that drew up you MIL's trust for assistance.

[AngelKitty]

1 hour ago, Cupid Stunt said:

contact the lawyer that drew up you MIL's trust for assistance.

Yep, already done. Plus we've gotten in touch with the financial institute with the MIL's account to find out what they need from us to disperse the funds.

I even talked to the lawyer SIL hired to draw up the new will to see if we could get a copy. She, of course, would have to ask SIL, so I said "nevermind". She did tell me that she would deter SIL from getting any courts involved since a will can't change a trust.

So now we just follow procedures and see what happens. These things take time and hopefully, everyone will keep cool and no more damage is done.  Ever the optimist, me.

[jpagan05]

On 4/25/2019 at 4:38 PM, Cupid Stunt said:

Recently Thing1 found a box of unmarked mini cassettes, and feeling nostalgic, asked to see some videos. I found the now long-antiquated camcorder and rigged it to the TV, popped in one of dozens of cassettes and pressed play. It was Thing2's 5th Batman birthday party and he was overjoyed playing a NERF game with his friends and cousins. 

Thing1 and I were laughing along, commenting on the other party guests when I heard it: a sound that caught me up. It was my grandfather’s voice just off camera. He’s been gone for 10 years, but suddenly he was in the room, full-throated and laughing, talking to us. He was more than a memory from the past. He was alive, speaking for himself. We were no longer a family living with the empty chair, the unpolished boots in the mud room, the missing laughter; he was there and I was whole again.

I miss my grandfather, but I didn’t realize how much until I heard his voice. It was back again: his humor, his warmth, the pride he had in his family. It was a surprise to feel the pull of memory his voice triggered in me: security of family, yearning for the land, the belonging to something greater than myself. I miss his measured surety. 

As Thing1 and I watched the rest of the video play out on the screen, Grampa stepped into frame next to my son, and my heart broke a little as he embraced Thing2 and they exploded in laughter. I'm grateful for that sharp pang of grief and sudden joy remembering what it was like to be loved by him.

That is awesome and sadly sweet. I recently found a VHS tape marked "1996". I was really missing my mom's voice so I had it converted to a DVD at Costco. It seemed to take ages and I was physically sick waiting for it. Sadly it had mostly my sister's dickhead of an ex-husband. No mom's voice. For some reason I can't remember it. It's like it's too painful and my brain won't go there. 

On 4/26/2019 at 9:44 AM, peacheslatour said:

It's amazing how families turn on each other when there is money involved. My husband only speaks to his mother through attorneys now that his father has passed. His dad wanted him to have certain things and his sister convinced my MIL to cut him off entirely. Your SIL sounds like mine.

This is so true. My Grammie passed a few years ago (which was my impetus for finding these forums❤️. She was my Y & R buddy, among other things). She and my grandfather had some beautiful, pristine mid-century furniture that was actually purchased in Iceland and Denmark in the mid-century. They also had a beautiful art collection which we spoke endlessly about together. I live 6000 miles away from home. When she passed I went home asap (10 days before her funeral) to help clean out her home and hopefully collect what was promised to me my whole life. I got none of her things. My sister (younger) helped herself to whatever she and her husband and kids wanted before I arrived. My sister's taste in art is what hangs in a bank lobby and she's doesn't communicate with any family in Iceland, nor has she ever been there. They took what they knew was the most valuable. I can't speak to her. My heart is broken. Now my dad tells me stories of his friends' siblings who have "dropped dead". I have so much guilt and anger around it. I really wouldn't even know what to say to her. Sorry for the rant.

Edited April 28, 2019 by jpagan05
wicked bad proofreading

[jpagan05]

There was a beautiful tribute to Kristoff St. John on The Talk that I recorded and just watched. Did anyone see it? I haven't started watching this week's Y & R cuz it's only about 2 o'clock and I'm planning on wearing pajamas and drinking wine with a box of tissues nearby.

Edited April 28, 2019 by jpagan05
same

[Petunia13]

On 4/22/2019 at 9:42 PM, jewel21 said:

I don't believe in turning our animals vegan unless they are naturally meant to only eat veggies like bunnies. Cats and dogs are carnivores and I refuse to deny them that right. It just seems cruel to me to force them to alter their diet to mimic my own. 

On another topic, if you had the opportunity to go to Europe for the first time ever for 9 days, would you go, even if it meant putting your bird in boarding. Keep in mind your bird doesn't eat when you're not there and you fear he might die while your gone. I'm so torn. I want to go but I'm totally worried about Steve. Boarding is at the vet so if he doesn't eat, they can incubate him (force feed) but still, I don't know what to do. 

Yeah when George was young he actually had a point he was medically underweight and the vet was concerned plus he is finicky (that’s common w Yorkies), he still sometimes is picky with his food or turns down stuff. He also does this when he’s stressed out. I’m not going to fuck w anything he actually will eat when he feels like it since his health is my priority. 

I hope you enjoy your trip to Europe 😊 how exciting and that Steve enjoys his staycation at the vets. When you get back I’m sure they’ll be sad to part w him. 

[jewel21]

Aww, thanks, Petunia. Well my plane ticket is booked and I'm officially going to Italy. I ended up booking my return flight a day later in order to get a direct flight back and it was actually cheaper that way. I hope Steve will be okay while I'm gone. 

So remember that other animal hospital I worked at and stopped going to because my last interaction with them was horrible and I now go to another vet in the south shore? Turns out the new vet I see bought the old vet hospital I used to go to and now works and owns both places. I admit I'm a tad annoyed because I stopped going there for a reason but now it feels like I'm just travelling a bit extra for nothing. 

On a more happy note, I saw Alegria today in the Big Top at the Old Port. It was amazing!!! I've never been to the circus before and I was blown away. I went with my brother and his baby mama and we all enjoyed it so much. The music, the costumes, lighting, the performers, it was perfect. 

On a more depressing note, my other brother with the mental issues has been really depressed lately and borderline suicidal and my mom had to call and ambulance for him yesterday. But, he willing went back to the psychiatric hospital and wants to be there this time. I just hope they'll help him rather than kick him back out on the street like these places normally do. Fingers crossed he gets better. 

[jpagan05]

That sucks about your brother, @jewel21. I feel like it's a positive thing that he wants help. I hope he receives it. I'm very jealous about your trip. 😊

I'm starting my Y and R now, but I opted for tequila instead of wine. 

[boes]

4 hours ago, jpagan05 said:

That is awesome and sadly sweet. I recently found a VHS tape marked "1996". I was really missing my mom's voice so I had it converted to a DVD at Costco. It seemed to take ages and I was physically sick waiting for it. Sadly it had mostly my sister's dickhead of an ex-husband. No mom's voice. For some reason I can't remember it. It's like it's too painful and my brain won't go there. 

This is so true. My Grammie passed a few years ago (which was my impetus for finding these forums❤️. She was my Y & R buddy, among other things). She and my grandfather had some beautiful, pristine mid-century furniture that was actually purchased in Iceland and Denmark in the mid-century. They also had a beautiful art collection which we spoke endlessly about together. I live 6000 miles away from home. When she passed I went home asap (10 days before her funeral) to help clean out her home and hopefully collect what was promised to me my whole life. I got none of her things. My sister (younger) helped herself to whatever she and her husband and kids wanted before I arrived. My sister's taste in art is what hangs in a bank lobby and she's doesn't communicate with any family in Iceland, nor has she ever been there. They took what they knew was the most valuable. I can't speak to her. My heart is broken. Now my dad tells me stories of his friends' siblings who have "dropped dead". I have so much guilt and anger around it. I really wouldn't even know what to say to her. Sorry for the rant.

Jpagan05, I'm so sorry that you had to go through this.  For your sister to steal, to cut you out for what appears to be nothing more than greed is well nigh as close to unforgivable as I can imagine.  She reduced your grandmother to a price tag and devalued your relationship with her in the same way.  I bet that if she'd had an emotional connection to these things and it had been in your power to do so, you would have shared with her.  But for her to disregard the relationship you had with your grandmother, to ignore the family links these things represented......how could you have anything but anger, and what could you say that would make any difference?

I am so sorry - trite as it may be, the one thing that's inviolate, that neither your sister or anyone else can touch, are the memories and the love you shared with your grandmother.  Those are priceless.

I'm just sorry that you had this ugly intrusion, from someone who should have cared for you, and all so that she could indulge her greed.

[jpagan05]

Damn it @boes, I am crying. Thank you for that sweet response. We divvied up my mom's things together- she was actually still alive but non-responsive and lying in the bed in the same room. I wanted mom to hear. We put her 60s and 70s pins and necklaces on her and us. It's a beautiful memory for me. It's so incredible how things can degrade. I miss my sister a lot but I'm at a loss. I just don't get it. 

[bannana]

6 hours ago, jewel21 said:

Well my plane ticket is booked and I'm officially going to Italy.

YAYYY!!!  

@jewel21 I cannot wait to hear about your great Italian adventure.  🍷✈️

[OhioSongbird]

Sad to hear all the stories.  Death, wills and family money will break up families you never thought would fracture.  I can relate. My Mom was the oldest of 5 and when my Grandfather passed leaving a nice chunk of land in eastern KY that was being 'topped' and mined.  The youngest boy (who inherited the land and house) wouldn't even let my Mom and the other brother see the will.  They never got a penny and the other 3 split everything.  Never thought that would happen to them.   My Dad's family is another story as they were never close.  He didn't expect anything and received nothing.

I feel for you all.....

[AngelKitty]

30 minutes ago, OhioSongbird said:

Sad to hear all the stories.  Death, wills and family money will break up families you never thought would fracture.  I can relate.

It really is sad. I'm sorry I brought up all these memories for everyone but you all have helped me calm down about the situation.

[PatsyandEddie]

It really helps to know that you aren’t alone and by hearing others ‘ stories, you can find solace or advice 🤗

[Cupid Stunt]

4 hours ago, AngelKitty said:

It really is sad. I'm sorry I brought up all these memories for everyone but you all have helped me calm down about the situation.

These stories are important to share, if only as life lessons in What Not To Do Unto Others. What you, jpagan, Peaches, and so many others have gone through, says plenty about avarice, and the assignment of money and property as proof of love. Intellectually we are reasonable, rational and agree with the philosophy that money and things do not equal love. But in our insecure secret corners and recesses, we clinging to the idea that love is scarce commodity, and things can embody finite measures of love.   

It's a reminder to get our lives in order and make the hard decisions of what happens after we're gone. To make the disposition of our property known and recorded. To choose, as best as we are able, a dispassionate party to handle and negotiate our estates after we've died. 

On my side of the family, the land is in trust. We can bitch, but it doesn't matter if you don't have the assent of the trustees. My parents updated their wills a few years ago, and by talking to all their children, listed specific items going to each. There is a delineation what property is in the trust. The rest can be divvied up by lottery, sold or disposed.

Mr.Stunt's family is a bailiwick of trusts and land and developed property and businesses and a charity and expensive flotsam and jetsam and lawyers and accountants and board members and family to be attended, negotiated and placated. A couple of years ago Nana Stunt (Mr.Stunt's paternal grandmother) changed her will and I was made her executor -- A highly unpopular choice by a wide margin of the Stunt clan. I wasn't happy about it either; apparently someone that doesn't constantly talk about her money and is just happy to include her and be is her company is the right person to handle the disposition of her estate. It's in my best interest to keep Nana alive and annoying her children.

AngelKitty -- My only other advice to you is to stay in contact with your SILs lawyer and reconsider her offer in obtaining a copy of the new will; the lawyer is trying to work with you, so let it work for you. My guess is that the lawyer knows this zero sum battle could lead to a less-than-optimal Pyrrhic victory for either side. Take notes and do whatever you can to get as much information from the lawyer as possible; it may come in handy later if the disposition of the will and estate escalates. You are rightfully disgusted with your SIL, but you want less antagonism with as little financial liability to yourself and Mr.A. Protect your flank (Cover your ass), as my father will tell you.

[Cupid Stunt]

• This woman needs to get out of my grocery cart and start pushing

• Major emperor penguin breeding ground gone barren since 2016

When Frank Zappa's Instrumental Album Jazz from Hell Received an “Explicit Lyrics” Sticker

• Frank Zappa Debates Whether the Government Should Censor Music in a Heated Episode of Crossfire: Why Are People Afraid of Words? (1986)
• The devilish history of the explicit lyrics sticker

And I looked and behold, I saw a pale horse. And its rider was Death.

• Prince memoir ‘The Beautiful Ones’ coming out in the fall

Edited April 28, 2019 by Cupid Stunt

[jpagan05]

18 hours ago, AngelKitty said:

It really is sad. I'm sorry I brought up all these memories for everyone but you all have helped me calm down about the situation.

Jeez, no apologies please, maybe we all needed it! 

My Grammie did a fine job with her money assets. She was shrewd and had great guidance but as far as something physical in her house, she would say, "put your name on the back". It cracks me up now. She was so classy. How garish would that have been? "

[Cupid Stunt]

• Motivated by hate, gunman kills one and wounds three in synagogue attack, police say
• In the past 6 weeks, churches, mosques and a synagogue have been attacked
• Online hate forges a dark path for suspect in attack plot 

-- Google and Facebook executives went before the House Judiciary Committee this month to answer questions about their platforms’ role in feeding hate crime and white nationalism. Twitter announced new rules last fall prohibiting the use of “dehumanizing language” that risks “normalizing serious violence.”But experts said the problem goes beyond language, pointing to algorithms used by search engines and social media platforms to prioritize content and spotlight likeminded accounts. “Once you indicate an inclination, the machine learns,” said Jessie Daniels, a professor of sociology at New York’s Hunter College who studies the online contagion of alt-right ideology. “That’s exactly what’s happening on all these platforms ... and it just sends some people down a terrible rabbit hole.”

• Ignore The Poway Synagogue Shooter’s Manifesto: Pay Attention To 8chan’s /pol/ Board

• South Korea opens hiking trails on world's most heavily armed border

• Beluga whale with Russian harness raises alarm in Norway

• Tarnished Brass -- Fired for a felony, again for perjury. Meet the new police chief.

• Unused Audio Commentary By Howard Zinn & Noam Chomsky, Recorded Summer, 2002, for The Fellowship of the Ring -- Part 2

• The Antitrust Case Against Facebook You Need to Know About

Edited April 29, 2019 by Cupid Stunt

[valleycliffe]

this is a beautiful song.

sound of silence performed on an 18 string harp guitar

[Cupid Stunt]

This video of robot continuously building a looped track in front of a Brio toy train is a metaphor for something … Procrastination? Life with small children? I don’t know. Having lived with a Brio wooden train collection that was perpetually under foot. it makes me SO ANXIOUS! Why does the arm wait so long to place the next section of track?!! Aaakkk!I couldn’t watch for more than 30 seconds without wanting to change the robot program.

• Work Más: A Day at a Taco Bell Hiring Party

• Lawyer fighting palm oil among 6 to win environmental prize

Join me at the corner of The Underpants burned out lot, Genoa City Court House and Rexx Rugs:

In traditional intersections, right-of-way has essentially been outsourced to unthinking objects like stop lights and signs. Shared spaces place the responsibility of determining right-of-way back with the individual motorists, pedestrians, and cyclists. Both approaches have their pros and cons. Accessibility is an issue with shared spaces.

Moo …

• How far will you go to reduce your beef intake?

• Beyond Meat's IPO plans give it a $1.2 billion valuation

[Cupid Stunt]

• Hundreds honor WWII Marine who died without living relatives

• Scientists have spiders producing enhanced web that can hold a human -- A team of scientists in Italy fed some spiders a solution of graphene and carbon nanotubes, which the spiders duly incorporated into their webs. The result is webbing that’s five times stronger than regular webbing, on par with the strength of bulletproof Kevlar. And why stop with spiders? Creating super-spiders might be going too far, this research is only the beginning. Pugno and her team are preparing to see what other animals and plants might be enhanced if they are fed graphene … The future is gonna be very weird.

• Wandering horse: Strolling mare causes stir in Frankfurt -- “My name is Jenny, I didn’t run away, I’m just going for a walk.”

• Ban on banana-eating artwork draws ridicule in Poland

• Malaysia destroys 4 tons of ivory tusks, products

• Big Ben runner has bad time at end of London Marathon

Edited May 1, 2019 by Cupid Stunt

[Cupid Stunt]

May Day 2019: Workers demand higher wages, rights, respect

[Cupid Stunt]

• May Day labor protests around the world, in 17 photos

Favorite picture from May Day 2018: 

• Americans borrow $88 billion annually to pay for health care, survey finds

•  
• Girls outscore boys on tech, engineering, even without class
• Teen girls are now poisoning themselves at alarming rates. There are ways to help. -- In teen suicide data, deaths are rare but just the tip of the iceberg.

Squirrel!

• Squirrel initially scares, then snuggles with subway riders

• A closer look at Washington’s superb new 100% clean electricity bill -- The bill contains groundbreaking changes to the way the state’s utilities do business.

[peacheslatour]

OMG you guys, early last evening my DH found a nest of five baby bunnies in the middle of our front yard. I can't understand why the mama bunny would have dug a nest in such an unprotected space. We spent a couple of hours chasing crows away from them. I did not know crows ate baby rabbits but one actually got a hold of one of them and if we hadn't been there it would have killed it. What do?

[AngelKitty]

I'm afraid there's not too much you can do. If you move them the mom won't be able to find them. I guess just try to cover the hole as much as you can.

[peacheslatour]

5 minutes ago, AngelKitty said:

I'm afraid there's not too much you can do. If you move them the mom won't be able to find them. I guess just try to cover the hole as much as you can.

That makes sense. With grass or something? We knew not to touch them. The good news is their eyes are open and they can run.

[Cupid Stunt]

Wild rabbits "hide their nests in plain sight," often putting them in the open; in the middle of your lawn. If you find a nest has been disturbed, don't handle the babies and do all you can to restore and protect the nest rather than to attempt to rescue the infants. You can prop up a wheelbarrow over the nest, so that the mother can get to it but the crows can't. You can also cover the nest with a plastic laundry basket with a hole cut in it for the mother to enter. Observe from a distance, and hopefully the mother will accept the environmental change and feed her babies

[Cupid Stunt]

• SpongeBob SquarePants’ 20 years of brilliance, explained in 3 episodes
• How SpongeBob memes came to rule internet culture

• Make a veggie burger that doesn’t taste like a hockey puck -- This is a recipe from America's Test Kitchen archives, and highly recommended. You can use vegan egg-substitute as a exchange for the egg binder.
• PepsiCo drops lawsuit against Indian farmers over potatoes used in Lays chips
• To feed the world, begin with maggot sausage and insect ice cream, scientist says

• A Chinese billionaire’s Stanford bribe shows how the college admissions scandal makes both zero and complete sense -- Every POC in higher education who had a peer or professor think they got into college because of some sort of affirmative action is shrugging. "White people" just assume there's no affirmative action for mediocre white folks in the US, which is the biggest affirmative action program for mediocre white people since the British royal family. 

• Iraq: Yazidis to accept survivors of IS rape, not children

• Garbage clogs once-clear rivers in Bosnia, govt is blamed

• A police officer responded to a noise complaint about a man playing the drums. He sat down and jammed out too

This Saturday is the American Humane Society Walk For Animals Campaign. In many cities all over the US, people are walking their dogs and pot belly pigs, strollering their cats, putting their bird cages in coaster wagons to raise money for what is often the first line of defense against animal abuse and neglect. Please join us.

Edited May 3, 2019 by Cupid Stunt

[valleycliffe]

i haven't seen any baby rabbits around my house yet..

my cat who lives up to her terrorist name isis (grand named her after an egyptian god) has been known to leave them headless in our driveway...we have also found headless rats, mice and shrews and occasionally a bird.