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Season Four General Discussion

clod

By clod
in Alaskan Bush People [V]

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DoctorK

DoctorK

(edited)

Oh God, these morons are going to build a mechanical bull to impress the pseudo daughter/sister when she visits. Maybe you might want to clean up all of the shit around your "town"? Maybe you want to take baths in your spiffy hot tub? Maybe you might want to put in your dentures and bridges? Nah, lets make a mechanical bull. Oh, and our resident genius Einstein/DaVinci invents a chemical heat pack (which has been around for at least 40 years.Nothing but snark for this pathetic show. BullshitBilly tells people that everybody is so impressed when they visit - sorry, there is a difference between "impressed" and "appalled".

Edited by DoctorK
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Beden
Beden

The problem for me is that, while the snark here is still a giggle. the show itself has worn out it's welcome through mindless repetition of idiocy and stupidity mixed with an increasingly thin plot w

Blondie
Blondie

Right.  The one with the seizure disorder drives the vehicle.   Check The great hunter goes hog hunting with a pristine bright white T shirt, cause we all know that covering oneself with mud

DoctorK
DoctorK

I can't say that this show is one of my favorites but this thread is one of my favorite snark places.These morons are such an easy target.

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brgjoe

brgjoe

I did get a chuckle or two out of this episode though.  That "phone" had to be one of the dumbest ideas seen on this show.  And that's saying something.  Though I did smirk a bit when Bam was walking away as Matt was trying to still talk to him using that contraption.  Also chuckled a bit when Rainy thought that maybe they might scare Twila away when she would actually meet up with them.  Gee, ya think!?  Especially when she sees that stupid mechanical bull thing.  And wait until she meets Noah with all his experiments with moss and chemicals and stuff inside that chicken coop. 

Yeah, Twila looked like she was reading from a script at times.  Her body language was pretty much like, "Get me the hell away from these kooks!"  If this show was even halfway legit, I couldn't imagine her wanting to stick around more than 5 minutes around that bunch.  My guess is that will be the last we see of her.  Unless she gets paid a lot of Disco $$ to come back, I suppose.

Another funny (and a bit chilling) line was at the end, when Billy says he wants to see his grandkid.  Oh noes!  Get that restraining order issued now, Twila!  If I were her, I wouldn't want him within 1000 miles of me and my child.   Yech.

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Beden

Beden

What  Rock Knocker said +3. I almost giggled out loud when Twila first stepped off the float plane and all we saw was her long blond hair hanging down--for a moment I thought it was Billy's scary facial hair revisited. Even in the unlikely event that her visit wasn't producer driven could it have been any more awkward for the woman? She travels for hours/days to meet her previously never-met-them-wouldn't -know-them-if she-fell-over-them extended family on the set they pretend they live on. A production crew follows her every step filming and recording. No wonder she held her daughter back and the girl (age? who knows--did they say she is a teen?) until she knew what the hell she was getting into then flew away, apparently the same day she arrived in Browntown.

I would have also loved to see her reactions to Bear's unfinished tree house, Noah's chicken coop abode and the rest...

I was also wondering; if they ever used that 2nd floor bathtub, how would they drain the used water? Bail out the window? Run a pipe through the wall? I mean, after they hauled it upstairs by hand. As I recall, water weights about 8 lbs a gallon...

So much BS, so little time.

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Rock knocker

Rock knocker

The scenes from next week show Billy getting hurt out in the yard working.

 

Dad gummit, it's always something when you try to work.

 

If it's not Billy, it's Ami mooping around and Billy has to be with her while the kids try to load the Suzuki in the most absolutely critical, make or break, if we fail we all die and then the Coast Guard will be pissed hauling job since D-day.

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SRTouch

SRTouch

Anyone else cringe when they see the way the whole Brown clan treat tools? I suppose it's because I was raised surrounded by carpenters who taught me from a very early age to take care of tools, but the way they abuse tools bugs the hell out of me. Not only that, but it's not exactly what I would expect from people who live in the bush and depend on those tools. This week we see Matt ruining a pulaski style fire axe instead looking for the hammer Bear undoubtedly dropped where he finished pretending to "work" on his tree house.

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Beden

Beden

(edited)
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Oh, and our resident genius Einstein/DaVinci invents a chemical heat pack (which has been around for at least 40 years.Nothing but snark for this pathetic show.

Y'know, I was thinking the same thing-- can't you buy chemical hand and foot warmers in any pharmacy, sporting goods store and most $1 stores? Of course, Master Noah wouldn't know that since he's spent all his life in the bush (aside from the time he spends not in the bush).

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BullshitBilly tells people that everybody is so impressed when they visit - sorry, there is a difference between "impressed" and "appalled".

Let's see now, we had Noah's 'date' last week, Miss California or whoever she was, desperately trying not to laugh and now Miss Twila (btw, now the good lord knows I could be wrong but the only Twyla I've ever heard of is Twyla Tharp, the choreographer. I know, spelling is so lower 48, no reason why it can't be spelled any number of ways). I also recall Hoonah's mayor paying his respects to the new neighbors and keeping a straight face and let's not forget Hauler Paul who is clearly being paid some $ to pretend to give the Brownies hauling jobs. The man basically and politely told them they had the wrong boat and didn't know squat.

Dang it--what phone invention? Damn those badly timed phone calls but Hell will freeze over before I tell any friends I can't talk now...Brown's Bush Babies is on. I mean, one must have at least some standards, thank the lord.

Edited by Beden
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Missmissie173

Missmissie173

My main take away from the last two episodes was boredom...I didn't finish watching either one.  I just read the great comments here.  Much more fun than the actual show.  I used to be strangely attracted to these characters, but the overblown malarkey that they come up with has just gone too far - building a bucking bronco barrel so Twila will feel "at home?"  These twats now make me think of "The Hills Have Eyes" rather than "Bush Family Robinson."   

One Observation - Run, Twila, Run!  Leave no Forwarding Address.  Join the Witness Protection Program.  Browntown wants new blood!  Honestly, If I were her, I'd be scared!

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Missmissie173

Missmissie173

On 5/28/2016 at 11:17 AM, mmmsoap said:

According to the preview for next week's episode, "something" (that involves Billy limping between between two sons) is going to rock Browntown to its foundations.

How many times is that now? 

The "Foundation of Browntown" has been rocked so many times that it should be a giant sinkhole by now  We could get lucky. Maybe they could all fall in!

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Beden

Beden

Just had the latest ep on (I was talking on the phone to an out of state friend who'd called so may have missed some nuances...). Then the RV caught fire. Seriously? Didn't they use that plot device when a boat caught fire last year or so? They had to barter for a conveniently available 'nother RV but pretending they knew how to use heavy equipment? Of course they did--again. And they've never, ever been in warm water never ever? Yeah, right. So they all ran into the ocean with their damn shoes on. They had to be back in Seattle in a week for Billy's treatment or appointment or whatever so they drove from Washington State to Dan Diego..at trip of of (depending on route) around 1,200 mi -1,500 mi---each way. Why, yes, you can drive 3,000 miles in a week--with a sick old man and a non-reliable vehicle, taking time to camp here and there, hunt and sight see along the way. They're supposed to be broke, right? Obviously we know better, but what does a 1-2 week large RV rental cost? And what credit card did they put it on since they've previously stated they don't have any? Gas? Who paid for the good lord knows how much they went through or the fast food one of the boys was complaining about. Why on earth didn't they just kill that rattler, skin and eat it; y'know, the bush way....

Okay, I know--it was paid for by the production company who tagged along and scripted the road trip. God forbid they could pretend to leave a few kids in Browntown to pretend to get ready for winter which they'd spend in a paid for heated hotel/lodge, anyway.

I'm sounding cranky but this has now hit the point of simply being insulting. I mean just really now. I know they're laughing all they way to the bank but this is just plain flatout stupid.

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Blondie

Blondie

(edited)

Right. 

The one with the seizure disorder drives the vehicle.   Check

The great hunter goes hog hunting with a pristine bright white T shirt, cause we all know that covering oneself with mud (that tastes good) will give you better camoflage.  Check 

One of the girls can take pictures with her cell phone but when the camper caught fire they had no way to get help (thank goodness a passerby called for help.  Check

I know why the camper caught fire.   Too many liar liars sitting in it.


Why do I bother to even watch this show? 

Edited by Blondie
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DoctorK

DoctorK

(edited)
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Why do I bother to even watch this show? 

I ask myself the same question. I recorded tonight's show and when I got home, I started to watch it. Five minutes in I felt my IQ dropping so fast that it hurt. I may brace myself to watch it this weekend out of morbid fascination. Actually, the reason I watch is so I can enjoy the snark over at http://railingkill.com/category/alaskan-bush-people-episode-recap/

Edited by DoctorK
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SRTouch

SRTouch

I grew up in Bakersfield and made the trip north to Oregon several times, along with the drive south to see family in San Diego many times. Is it possible to drive from Seattle to San Diego and back in a week? Sure, if you're driving straight through, just stopping for gas. With the stops and detours they made the trip would take a couple weeks. They drive south and break down, spend the night, then spend a day working in the salvage yard. Hope that guy charged big bucks for letting the Brown boys abuse his heavy equipment - Bam operated that thing like he docks the Integrity. Next day they take a short drive and stop to hunt wild pigs (still in northern California). Next day they head south again, I'm assuming on I5, but for some reason they detour to visit the desert. Another day of driving, and they get to San Diego, where they play on the beach. I think this is where Noah meets his new girl.  By my reckoning, Billy better hop a plane to get back for his appointment. 

Too bad they didn't show a more realistic trip. They drove through some beautiful country, mountains and forest on the Oregon/California border, down by Mt Shasta, the Central Valley farmlands, etc and very little of that made it onto the show. I once took three days driving from Medford to Bakersfield, cutting over to come down through the redwoods and down the coast - the Golden Gate, Monterey, Carmel, Big Sur, etc. They could have really had a great road trip if they spent 2-3 weeks, even better if they took the time to visit the Sierra Nevadas to see Yosemite, Mt Whitney, Tahoe etc on their way to see the Mohave. That's my version of a great road trip, anyway.

If all they wanted was a day at the beach, they bypassed a lot of good beaches driving all the way to San Diego - which no doubt has great beaches. It's not like they were trying to get to Blacks Beach - hmmm, maybe that was what they were looking for, that would explain why they didn't have swimsuits and had to wear their clothes in the water. For those who don't know, Black Beach is a rather famous secluded beach - famous partly for some great surf as well as one of the largest nude beaches in the US.

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Beden

Beden

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One of the girls can take pictures with her cell phone but when the camper caught fire they had no way to get help (thank goodness a passerby called for help.  Check

I looked up from my call at that and all I could think of was 'don't any of the crew members have a AAA card'? And Noah meets another hired actress to pretend to be his new soul mate and I missed it? Damn you good friend who called me during this!!!!

Oh, c'mon, hunting permits are sooooo lower 48....

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SRTouch

SRTouch

24 minutes ago, Beden said:

I looked up from my call at that and all I could think of was 'don't any of the crew members have a AAA card'? And Noah meets another hired actress to pretend to be his new soul mate and I missed it? Damn you good friend who called me during this!!!!

Oh, c'mon, hunting permits are sooooo lower 48....

Oops looks like folks misunderstand what I meant. They didn't show Noah meeting the girl last night. When she came to Browntown they showed them meeting in a flashback to when he meets her on a beach in San Diego. What I meant was this trip must be when they met. They didn't show her last night - if they had they would have had to pay her again. I'm not sure they could afford to pay her after paying the junkyard dude to let the Brown boys "work" with the heavy equipment.

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Rock knocker

Rock knocker

7 hours ago, jumper sage said:

Ok, let's talk about the guns.  Who the hell carries a gun like that?  They don't even have the basic skills for gun safety.

Everything they know from boat docking, diesel engine engineering and Noah's welding has been poorly self taught.  I didn't catch that particular breach of gun safety that you are refering to during the pig hunt, but in an earlier post  pointed out their incredible breach of etiquette when they were hunting and used their scopes to glass the area instead of binoculars.  That type of mistake is all on Billy because he should be teaching the right way to do things, and not doing things that are potentially dangerous because they are easier and cheaper.

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DoctorK

DoctorK

Well, I fortified myself intellectually for watching last night's show with a Bowery Boys movie on TCM. A few thoughts on this episode:

When BullshitBilly told us about how they live "an honest way of life", I waited for a lightning bolt to strike him dead; no such luck.

Burning up the RV - hey Billy, there is a thing called a temperature gauge (or at least an idiot light) on the RV; too modern a device for you to understand? Also, with all of the drama about fire, I saw nothing but smoke (real or not?) and colored lights shining on and through the "smoke", never any flame.

No pigs in Alaska? I beg to differ http://www.huntwildpig.com/state-specifics/alaska/

New Brownklownz hobby - snake molesting.

I wish the camera on the beach had turned around so we could see all of the normal people fleeing from these nutcases.

Ah, the meat roasting on a spit. I noticed that the meat was not sizzling, there was no smoke when they were showing the (incidentally well roasted) meat turning, and no heat shimmer from the non existent fire just below the image frame.

As noted above, the driving time line is completely unbelievable.

Another week of complete BS.

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DoctorK

DoctorK

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I'm not sure they could afford to pay her after paying the junkyard dude to let the Brown boys "work" with the heavy equipment.

I have to figure that one of their main expenses is carrying liability insurance for whatever damages the Brownklownz cause. Heck I would let them borrow my car because the odds are good that the show would have to buy me a replacement after these bozos got done with it.

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Rock knocker

Rock knocker

9 hours ago, DoctorK said:

 

No pigs in Alaska? I beg to differ http://www.huntwildpig.com/state-specifics/alaska/

 

Doc, did you read that link?  I think not

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There has been no sightings of wild boar in Alaska since 1998, when a private citizen, Reed Oswalt tried to create a huntable wild boar population on Marmot Island. In 1998 a hunter supposedly killed the last pig on the 18 square mile island. In 2008, wildlife biologists surveyed the island and found no tracks or rooting activity. After contacting  the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, hunting wild pig in Alaska falls under the same regulations as hunting big game. 

So…. Are there Wild Boar in Alaska??? No.

 

brgjoe

brgjoe

I have to say, you all have more fortitude than I do.  I saw the previews to this latest episode earlier.  And I just knew the absurdity level had to be off the charts with that one.  I mean, even more than usual with these bozos.  So I passed on seeing it.  I can suspend SOME disbelief.  But I can't see it folded, spindled, and mutilated in front of me.  Sounded like I really didn't miss anything. 

Wonder if they'll ever show Billy and Bam Bam getting their ankle bracelets put on?   Ever since that one episode earlier, I don't think their punishment has been mentioned, has it?  Gee, I imagine poor Browntown will just be felled to it's knees if ol' Billy boy is gone for any length of time. 

And is Noah still living in the chicken coop? 

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Beden

Beden

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Wonder if they'll ever show Billy and Bam Bam getting their ankle bracelets put on?   Ever since that one episode earlier, I don't think their punishment has been mentioned, has it? 

I recall reading somewhere that the judge in their case prohibited TPTB from filming any part of their sentences. That may have been before they were reduced to house arrest or whatever it was changed to if that makes any difference. Didn't they also get community service + fines? I suspect that may mean we won't see them in semi-shackles or picking up trash by the side of the road.

Goodness, of course Noah is still in the coop--how else is he going to impress his next soul mate? He'd want to show her his experiments and be able to serenade the wench/fair maiden. I do vaguely wonder why Christy--his former true love--bailed from the show, though. Maybe she really did decide to go away to school or maybe she just didn't want to play along any longer. Or maybe she asked for a raise?

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SRTouch

SRTouch

1 hour ago, Beden said:

Or lack thereof. I was raised around large boats and taught how to handle them starting when I was about 12. I'm not an expert mariner by any means, but I can dock a damn boat, thank you.

Just another of those times when the demonstrated skills of the brownklownz fails to match their claims. According to the back story and Billy's claims, the Integrity has an abundance of "captains". Like you, I'm not an expert mariner (in fact I've never docked a boat), but with all those "captains" on board you'd think someone could dock the boat. OK, from what I've read, I realize it can be tricky to dock a single engine boat against the wind and/or tide, not the same as with two engines. Sort of like backing a trailer, you can look silly the first couple times, but it's not that hard to learn, and with practice you're backing into a spot with ease. So, I'd forgive these idiots the first few times, but these ex commercial fishermen and self proclaimed captains who were raised on boats regularly ram any dock they come to. IF IIRC, didn't Bam ram the dock with the previous boat? Sort of like how they're all carpenters who have built multiple cabins - yet don't know how to put on a metal roof.

Beden

Beden

Quote

The mayor of the island of Hoonah makes a visit that could change the face of Browntown forever

Sounds like we're all catching a lucky break, and Browntown won't be rocked to its foundations as per usual

With apologies, didn't someone above post that Browntown is actually on a piece of land owned by the Mayor and being rented by TPTB? Maybe he shows up for an inspection, sees the godawful mess and evicts them...

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AZChristian

AZChristian

56 minutes ago, Beden said:

With apologies, didn't someone above post that Browntown is actually on a piece of land owned by the Mayor and being rented by TPTB? Maybe he shows up for an inspection, sees the godawful mess and evicts them...

Yes, the mayor does on the land that Browntown is destroying.  It would be wonderful if he did an inspection and evicted their sorry butts.

BTW, someone who checked into the Extended Stay America in Juneau on June 5th reports that the Browns are in the room across the hall from him.  And Bam and the girls were photographed at the DMV in Juneau.  "Incarceration" is over, and the weather in Hoonah is awesome right now.  Shouldn't they be preparing for winter NOW instead of in late September?

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SRTouch

SRTouch

1 hour ago, Beden said:

With apologies, didn't someone above post that Browntown is actually on a piece of land owned by the Mayor and being rented by TPTB? Maybe he shows up for an inspection, sees the godawful mess and evicts them...

Unfortunately he seems to be one of those who think any publicity is good, so is happy to let the Browns do whatever they want as long as he, his family, or just the town of Hoonah make it onscreen. I suppose in a way he does have a point, as tourists have new attraction now when they get off the cruise ship.

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