Season Four General Discussion

[SRTouch]

1 hour ago, DoctorK said:

Then there is the great struggle to move the vehicle, naturally with no safety rope around a tree, just two people holding ropes on a slippery slope. Then let’s put the youngest person in the 2,000 pound car so that if things go wrong she goes into the water and may be trapped. By the way have I mentioned 2,000 pounds enough times yet?  The same 2,000 pound car that didn’t seem to make the raft sit any lower in the water than before the car was loaded.

Some more terms these clowns have never heard of: Pulleys, Block and Tackle, Mechanical Advantage, Come-Alongs (cheap manual winches)

More on the raft - Since they already knew that the raft tends to nose down at anything over walking speed, did no one think of loading the car slightly behind the center of buoyancy so that the barge would tend to nose up slightly? Sorry, silly question..

Ah, the Great Haul. First off, Ami conspired with Billy, hurt her neck again, and Billy had to sit and hold her hand while the adult kids and 13yo did the work. I thought we were going to see the clowns use a come-along when they were loading the car on the barge, but no they went with brute muscle. No surprise, they follow The Brown Doctrine: Work Harder Not Smarter. Someday someone should let them know they have a couple words switched around. As you say, DOCTORK a little old fashion mechanical advantage would revolutionize their hauling business. Never mind those new fangled electric winches they could pick up for the price of Noah's new drill press and bench grinder, people have been using block and tackle to haul/move/load heavy sh*t since forever. I couldn't believe how long it took for them to figure out they could flag down a pick up and have that thing towed off the dock.

Ok, yes, with 4 adults pushing, and maybe a couple camera dudes helping, it probably was a lot faster to just push the car onto the barge. The come-along was not the best tool to quickly move the car 2-3 car lengths uphill. It would work, and one person could do it if someone else steered, but it would be slower. Still, though, whenever I see several Browns struggling to raise/lower something from the dock, I can't help but think one person could do that one handed with the right setup.

[mmmsoap]

Noah's smelting:

I've seen all of 1 video on Youtube regarding home smelting, and I know enough to know that what he did looks fishy...shouldn't he be dealing with the slag? A couple bullets looked like they went splat when he dumped them in the bucket of water. I'm pretty much anti-anything-Noah-says-or-does, so I'm also unimpressed with his monkeywrechet.

Regarding the car:

How much can we go on and on about how "Rainy is really stepping up" and "Rainy's job is sooooo important"? There's no reason for her to steer down the hill when they're going to stop at the bottom anyway; they should have had someone who actually knows how to drive do that part, since gravity is doing all the work, and assuming they actually care about getting the car there in one piece. The actual job they needed her to do, steering/braking while they got onto the raft, wasn't any more difficult then when I would steer my dad's car as he pushed it out of the garage onto the driveway so he could work on it or wash it. This seems like yet another case of "if we gush about it, people will think it's important."

Getting the Integrity to wherever:

I love that Billy gave the most unhelpful advice ever, and that Bam called him on it ("Yes, of course I tied it down.") If he's really so "worried" then he'd have one of the kids stay with Ami while he supervised or helped. Instead, his super-important-can't-be-called-away job is to sit next to Ami, without actually doing anything because she's refusing all medical care. Also, it's interesting that Billy really only cared about the Integrity not having lights, and the Coast Guard potentially showing up. Not about possibly losing the Jeep into the water.

Noah's date:

I love the spray foam insulation in the chicken coop. I totally believe they built that themselves. Also, I applaud Noah's stalker-level obsession of this girl who (apparently, according to his song) he hasn't seen in 2 years. Classy that he sang his obsession song to his new date. Good thing the other chick went to college elsewhere, or I think he'd have started sewing her skin into his leather jacket by now. Kudos to the "date" and/or the editors for her very tactful assessment of Noah; she called him on being creepy/weird, without being impolite, and without seeming too terribly fake.

Delivering the Jeep:

I like that Bear can't take anything seriously, especially Bam's ability to pilot the boat. 

Saying goodbye to the skiff:

Billy tells Noah (nicely) to stop playing his whistle. Anyone else catch the eyeroll that Noah gave? I couldn't tell whether he's eyerolling at Billy for telling him to stop, or eyerolling at the producers for making him do something so inane in the first place. If it's the latter, my estimation of him incrementally improves. Also, how awkward was it with the family trying to come up with "nice" things to say at the skiff funeral? Clearly they were there because they were told to be, not because anyone had the desire to be.

/sigh...I'm home with no internet temporarily and a twisted ankle, so I watched this episode through twice. I miss Netflix!

Edited May 15, 2016 by mmmsoap

[DoctorK]

Quote

The Brown Doctrine: Work Harder Not Smarter

Right on point. However we can't blame them for failing the concept of "work smarter", they don't have the tools for that.

[Rock knocker]

Pushing the Suzuki up that steep dock ramp seemed really safe.  Four people behind a vehicle they can barely handle with a child in charge of the brakes.

 

And no escape if something goes wrong.

 

You'd have to be real stupid to get something to eat while the tide came in and lessened the angle of the ramp.

[brgjoe]

If this were legit, no way they wold have Rainy doing the driving of that thing -- especially considering just how "critical" and "dangerous" that part of the job was.  She's the one who should have been back with Ami to make sure she was OK, and Daddy Billy should have been out there.  But of course, we all know all of this is about as legit as a WWE match.

Ah yes, the old skiff.  Umm .. why the heck would they just simply burn/destroy it?   You'd think Noah would be able to build a battleship out of the leftover parts of that thing.  ;)   If nothing else, I would think it would be at least repairable enough to give them a working skiff to do some light duty, like fishing or I dunno...rescuing another lobster trap that one of those idiot boys lost to the sea.  Just seemed silly to simply destroy it and waste all that was left of it.

And I rewatched that one about them first mentioning them getting punished for that Alaskan dividend thing.  Billy was talking to one of his "lifelong friends" at the dock.  He kept protesting that he didn't have all the records and receipts to prove he was actually staying up in Alaska during that time.   As I understand it, the reason why they were caught was that there TOO MANY records that they were NOT in Alaska.  That it could be proven that they were actually in the lower 48 when they claimed they were in Alaska.  Probably because the kids just got homesick for their pizzas.  ;)

One never knows how much of it is acting or just how messed up some of those kids really are.  I mean, most seem a bit off, but Noah appears to be more weird that most.  At least he creeps me out the most when he's on my TV screen.  So I guess I don't know why they are trying to pair him off first with a girlfriend (actress) first.  Must be because he writes such lovely poems and is such a talented musician.  Ha! 

[Beden]

Quote

the middle guy was showing how knowledgeable he is by mentioning the Battle of Leyte (pronounced lay-tee) Gulf, but called it "Layette Gulf". Shows what happens when you just glance at your scripted spontaneous moment.)

My dad fought at Leyte. When I was a kid and he'd mention it I always thought he was saying 'Lady'; it took me decades to realize I was wrong.

Last weeks ep, well, again, just gosh. The raft--how they managed to not sink it and the car is now one of the wonders of the earth. The 13 (15?) year old who's supposedly never driven anything is at the wheel, a one ton or more vehicle being held back by two guys with a rope as it rolled downhill, headed for water-and why would they assume that the brakes worked? Hadn't the owners said that it hadn't been used in years? No way to get the damn car up the ramp in town (and how did they get it off the raft???? That should have been darn entertaining). Mom, again has an attack on her bad neck pinched nerve; because why would she think to travel with her meds?

Noah. No words. No wonder why the parents worry about the kids when they're more than 7 feet away from their sight. I'm astounded they allowed him to stay home alone--aside from the production crew, I mean. And could that very attractive young lady who was clearly straight fro central casting, have looked any more bored and bewildered if she tried? I'm guessing she's not his soulmate.

[DoctorK]

Quote

I'm guessing she's not his soulmate.

I'm hoping that she is not his soulmate for her own sake.

[SRTouch]

2 hours ago, DoctorK said:

I'm hoping that she is not his soulmate for her own sake.

Hey, there's room in the chicken coop ?

[Rock knocker]

I'm always just amazed at how little the kids have learned, and I put that all on Billy.  When they go hunting, they glass the area using their rifle scopes - a massive breach of safety and ettiquite.  The two oldest are about thirty, and are completely incompetent at docking a boat.  Look a Sean Dryer on the Deadliest Catch, who is only 23 but was taught the right way to do things.

 

The four oldest go out with out dad and have engine trouble, and Gabe who was kind of  the engineer, was completely clueless.  Check for water in the fuel is easy and common on a boat, yet he had no idea of how to do anything about it.  Yet another case of poor training.

 

And their construction skills are reminiscent of Old man Jack Hoffmans mining, everybody should just do something random.

[Rock knocker]

Billy and Bam to begin sentence, on ankle monitors.

 

One thing though, they can't have weapons where they are serving their homes.  I'm sure we'll eventually get a bunch of bellyaching by Billy how the state of Alaska is endangering the entire family by not allowing them to have weapons out in the bush.

 

http://www.adn.com/article/20160418/instead-jail-alaskan-bush-people-stars-will-serve-time-ankle-monitors

[new jersey devil]

I noticed that Noah was wearing quite expensive looking leather boots. In fact, it seems the cast has been spending on upgraded jackets, boots, etc. And those black powder pistols looked new(and expensive).

And they still don't seem to want good outdoor gear...

[Beden]

Do any of the legal-experienced folks on this site know what ho me confinement means in real terms? It sounds obvious but does it mean that they must actually stay within the walls of what ever they're calling 'home'?...an apartment, the physical confines or a rented house? Could they, say, go to the grocery store? Would they then have to report to a PO for a specified amount of time? AT what point might they be able to return to Alaskan filming?

I guess I'm just an innocent...

[Jenkins]

Kind of curious on that too.

I believe typically a person on home arrest wears an ankle bracelet that is monitored through GPS. I also believe they can get permission from the parole officer to go to things like a grocery story, etc.

But I also believe you can work while under home arrest (I would hope they would encourage that). And since Billys work involves driving a boat all over the place...not sure what good home arrest will actually do as a punishment?

Now that I think about it, home arrest is a pretty damn big joke for them. None of them have real jobs or want to go out "partying" or whatever. So being confined to home or possibly their boat (their "job") isn't much of a punishment.

[Beden]

True, if that's what home confinement means. But since their hauling business involves traveling to a number of different towns and they seem to claim their real home is Browntown, well, I don't know.

Anyone have any ideas?

[Kittenkat]

This show bugs the heck outta me.  How do they stay so clean out in the bush?  Noah got his wardrobe up in hoonah?   And  I have a hard time believing the Browns constructed that house.  It is too perfect looking.

[AZChristian]

I talked to some people in Hoonah while there last week on a cruise ship stop.  When you ask the locals about the Browns, the answers are all the same.  The Browns do NOT live at Brown Town.  It's pretty much just a set for the TV show.  And they hire local contractors to do all the work on the property - including construction of the cabin.

One gentleman I talked to saw Noah downtown in Hoonah with his big white headphones, listening to his iPhone.  He took a couple of sneak pictures.  As soon as Noah saw him, he pulled off the headphones and tried to hide his iPhone because - well, you know - they don't know anything about that technology stuff.

Oh - and the only thing as trashy looking as Brown Town is the Hoonah Town Dump.  (Actually, the dump looks better.)  Hoonah is a lovely town, and the people are very friendly.

[DoctorK]

I can't say that this show is one of my favorites but this thread is one of my favorite snark places.These morons are such an easy target.

[Beden]

I wonder what will happen to Browntown after this things ends...sell it off to someone so a real person/family can live there? Rent it? Abandon the place, leaving another Brown mess?

[Eme]

Quote

And his pipe wrench hatchet is stupid

Pretty much everything he does and says is Stupid.  Clearly....RIveting.....but Stupid nonetheless.  That song!  Ugh.  A couple of small people in my house cannot stop mocking him for that horrible "Fleeting" "poem".  They caught is as they were walking by (I try to keep them from the Horror! The Horror!) and they cannot believe that a grown man had such terrible rhyming skillz.  

Why wasn't he CLEANING up the junk or at least putting it in a huge pile to burn later?  Crap all over was just disgusting.  Seriously?  They are going into an area of beautiful wilderness and ruining it.  

There was a scene in a recent episode when they were in the house and Amy was talking to one of the girls --- ALL THE MESS!  The piles of crap and stuff in bags. Amy is a Hot Mess.  We don't see her doing anything at camp...because she does NOTHING.  

Why was she on the boat anyway?  What possible help could she be in that hauling effort?  Billy sitting next to her...exactly WHY?  I think he did not know how to do it and wanted to BLAME the boys and ChristmasSnowflake when something went wrong.

Billy impresses me as very inept and sad sacky.  He's a terrible Teacher and has provided no guidance to these men. It's a good thing this is just a made up show because the thought of them having their own Town is gross.  At some point someone mentioned that they were doing this show "based on" a book Billy wrote about a short period of time when they were living "in the bush" -- and that is why some people thought that the "boys" attitudes and actions seemed to be frozen in time from when that event happened -- possibly in their early teens.  So, OK.  If that is true, that this is "based on" that time....why the subterfuge? Why not just say, we did this, but we are not doing it now...but we are showing you (the audience) what we would do if faced with this situation now....That would free up the Men to ACT LIKE GROWNUPS (assuming they can)....and would fill in a lot of unnecessary holes.....Just sayin'

[SRTouch]

Ackkk, my DVR thought last night's "BOOK OF GABE" was a new episode, just a bunch a rerun clips and yakking with and about Gabe. I started watching, and lo and behold learned Gabe is now wearing braces. Here's hoping Bird jumps on that particular bandwagon - her snuggle tooth still gets me every so often. Anyway, I watched the rerun clips awhile, and gave up in the scene where they're building the cabin, leaving the tools where ever they fall, and they wake up to snow. Once again I get pissed at the stupidity, what with the chainsaw left out overnight, and Matt smashing his hand with the beam. They should really start putting disclaimers warning people to never try this stupid sh*t in real life. I started to FF looking for anything not quite do stupid and maybe a little interesting. Didn't find anything prompting to slow down and watch.

NOTE:  not really about the clip rerun clips debacle, but Noah's date last week. I read on another forum that those who said that girl was out of his league and she must be a desperate actress looking a part or someone looking for their 15 minutes of fame were right. Turns out she's Karryna Kauffman http://us.blastingnews.com/showbiz-tv/2016/05/alaskan-bush-people-noah-s-date-was-actress-karryna-kauffman-00925895.html an ex Miss California contestant, model, actress, waitress, and wearing a wedding ring in her Facebook photos. 

Edited May 22, 2016 by SRTouch
Correction

[brgjoe]

Wedding ring, eh?  Well, maybe the date(s) went so well she's actually married to Noah by now! 

 

(I keed, I keed)

[Beden]

If she threw him over maybe we'll be treated to another ode sung to lost love.

[lallalla]

I'm watching the repeat where mom is making a sweater out of Cupcake the dog's fur, lamenting that she couldn't bathe him first, so she'll just have to wash the sweater. She's literally pulling hair out of a dog brush and making a sweater. WTF? Am I alone in thinking that's not ingenuous but odd-ball disgusting? I can't say I recall ever reading any literature from say, colonial, pioneer, or more primitive days where a wife/mom/woman took dog fur and made clothing from it, particularly not a German Shepherd type dog. WTF?

[SRTouch]

16 minutes ago, lallalla said:

I'm watching the repeat where mom is making a sweater out of Cupcake the dog's fur, lamenting that she couldn't bathe him first, so she'll just have to wash the sweater. She's literally pulling hair out of a dog brush and making a sweater. WTF? Am I alone in thinking that's not ingenuous but odd-ball disgusting? I can't say I recall ever reading any literature from say, colonial, pioneer, or more primitive days where a wife/mom/woman took dog fur and made clothing from it, particularly not a German Shepherd type dog. WTF?

Nope, not something I would have thought of, but check  http://www.jumaka.com/spinning/petfur.html on which how to make dog or cat fur garments, and http://heavy.com/social/2013/04/clothing-made-of-dog-hair-resourceful-or-wtf/ for pix of people standing with their dog wearing fur coats made from their fur.

[lallalla]

22 minutes ago, SRTouch said:

Nope, not something I would have thought of, but check  http://www.jumaka.com/spinning/petfur.html on which how to make dog or cat fur garments, and http://heavy.com/social/2013/04/clothing-made-of-dog-hair-resourceful-or-wtf/ for pix of people standing with their dog wearing fur coats made from their fur.

UGH Why does this seem disgustingly bizarre instead of resourceful? 

And, FWIW, it's not the fact it's a dog for me, it just seems like a silly insulator. I get it, it keeps a dog warm, but I'm not sure certain hairs/furs translate into warmth when it's the brushed off debris from something or someone.  Maybe I'm wrong or dumb, but I don't see it really retaining heat or holding up to normal wear and tear, let alone laundering.  That 'fuzz' that comes off is different from attached hair follicles that attach at the root. Maybe I sound like an idiot, but it seems very different from say, shearing an animal and using the fur (or skinning it).

I have traveled to countries where they sell dog meat kebabs on the street and I know in some places like China, dog meat is not unheard of. So for me, it's not some bizarre thing because they are household pets over sources of food or other things (not that people in these countries don't have dogs as pets, I hope my explanation makes sense), it just seems impractical and WTF-ish.

Edited May 21, 2016 by lallalla
further explanation, typo!

[lallalla]

On 2/2/2016 at 0:09 AM, Rock knocker said:

I believe that when the judge rejected the plea deal, Bam and Billy were then allowed to rescind their guilty pleas and the whole trial must begin anew.

On this 'hair from the dog brush weaving clothing' episode, Billy was speaking about the charges, all I gathered was yammering and excuses about how they'd been misunderstood, maligned, and never wanted to dupe the great people of Alaska (my paraphrase, not his direct words).  I don't know the answer to your question based on that, but my half-watching ears perked up once I caught that's what he was touching on.

[jdoggs]

i agree it is disgusting, but from this extremely odd family i guess making a dog hair sweater is normal. this family is such a joke who seems to be learning as they go but portray themselves as like they actually live in the bush full time. but they are such clowns and look extremely odd that it has to make you laugh

[lallalla]

On 12/31/2015 at 2:55 PM, Xena said:

 

"It's not what you fling, it's the fling itself"  well, that's how I remember it anyways.  The look on Shelly's face SLAYED me.   Maybe if the Brown's visited Cicely it would make for a more interesting show...

 

Topic?  The show is so boring and bloated I keep forgetting a new season is on!   I finally did watch this week.   One thing that bugs me because I can't quite figure it out and maybe you folks can help - does it seem like Matt's accent is MUCH less... affected this season?  I could swear there were a few sentences last night where it was almost gone.  HOWEVER, I'm not sure if I have just gotten accustomed to it, and now it 'seems' less... fakey?  Just me?  The rest of them seemed pretty much the same.  

Maybe he loses an ounce of affect for every new gray hair.

[DoctorK]

Oh boy, another week of ridiculousness.

Last week they burned the old skiff in a pseudo religious ceremony, this week it is in good enough shape to be converted into a hot tub. Yeah right.

Noah and his electrifying moss? This guy is a moron, not as an insult, just an observation; he is so stupid AND ignorant that there is something really wrong with him. If we get lucky he will electrocute himself from total ignorance of electricity, science, engineering, etc.

I am halfway through this episode and I can’t stand the stupidity anymore tonight. Maybe I will watch the rest tomorrow. The phrase "suffocating waves of ignorance" comes to mind.

[lallalla]

1 minute ago, DoctorK said:

Oh boy, another week of ridiculousness.

Last week they burned the old skiff in a pseudo religious ceremony, this week it is in good enough shape to be converted into a hot tub. Yeah right.

Noah and his electrifying moss? This guy is a moron, not as an insult, just an observation; he is so stupid AND ignorant that there is something really wrong with him. If we get lucky he will electrocute himself from total ignorance of electricity, science, engineering, etc.

I am halfway through this episode and I can’t stand the stupidity anymore tonight. Maybe I will watch the rest tomorrow. The phrase "suffocating waves of ignorance" comes to mind.

Yet he's the braintrust of the family. 

(where's the fall down laughing emoji Yahoo used to have?) :D

On 12/30/2015 at 4:33 PM, clod said:

hang off the side of a boat (using one hand) while trying to haul in a fishing line.......  which is heavy enough that one hand is not enough.     because that's how bush fishermen do it.  ?

I think they should try 'noodling', like I saw an episode of something recently..was it Intervention? Ugh, why can't I remember?!

[SRTouch]

59 minutes ago, jdoggs said:

i agree it is disgusting, but from this extremely odd family i guess making a dog hair sweater is normal. this family is such a joke who seems to be learning as they go but portray themselves as like they actually live in the bush full time. but they are such clowns and look extremely odd that it has to make you laugh

Guess it makes more sense than most of Noah's "inventions" that he stole  from a school science lab workbook.

[SRTouch]

18 minutes ago, lallalla said:

Yet he's the braintrust of the family. 

Yep, a modern day Renaissance man, a real da Vinci

[Beden]

My mother, a major knitter, used to joke about making a sweater from our old dog; luckily she had the sense to joke about it. I guess you could, sure, but wouldn't anyone with a brain want to wash it first? I'm no expert but don't real weavers and yarn makers always wash and card the raw fibers to remove the crap/smell before they spin them? Also, FWIW, back in colonial days people would often make shoes out of dog leather (no kidding--I'm a font of useless knowledge-supposedly it was both very strong and supple); hence the phrase 'my dogs are killing me' if your feet hurt. Look out Cupcake...

I also agree with the above posters. It was fun for a long time but the blatant BS is wearing thin for me. If these people were really this clueless about their supposed need to live bush one would think they'd have a small clue, show some experience, grown men wouldn't always have to look to Pa for any and everything. If this storyline were true they'd all be dead, eaten by bears, drowned or frozen to death by now. I simply don't find idiocy, stupidity and self-destruction entertaining. But the fact is that we and many others know that this is simply another fake reality show,probably scripted and that Browntown is a set built by local craftsmen, the family actually lives in some rented rooms or house in Hoonah, eat junk food whenever they want some, have and use the usual electronics and are lying, shady grifters.

I had this fantasy last night as it was playing; as the production team were in talks to begin initial filming they went around the room, asking who wanted to play which part; the surly son (Bam), the village idiot (Matt), the family intellectual (Noah), the steroid laden jock (Gabe), the hyper ADD one (I just blanked on his name, sorry) and so on. I can see the hands raising as they took on their roles.

Edited May 21, 2016 by Beden

[Blondie]

Had a good chuckle watching last night's episode. 
But first, why was Noah's right wrist bandaged up?  Why was he unable to go on the boat with the others?  He limps in some scenes and not in others so his "injury" can't be all that bad. 

Matt and Bam butting heads again?  We get it. No one cares.  I do enjoy watching the funny side of Matt, but Bam is a waste of screen time. 

They showed a repeat of Ami talking to Noah about staying behind and having a date.  Was it just me or was Ami trying to suppress  laughter?  I know I would have a difficult time trying not to laugh at that idiot.

I wish they could spend some time with a speech therapist.  Noah is the worst followed by the Gabe, Animal (can't think of his name but he reminds me of Animal from the Muppets) and then the girls. 

[AZChristian]

Amy was trying to suppress laughter at the idea that they are actually being paid for being lying slobs.

[SRTouch]

Sure didn't take long to find something to poke fun at this week.

The episode opens with THE BATHTUB. According to Ami, at long last she's going to be able to bathe indoors. Of course, it's typical Brown ingenuity. They bring in a old 300 pound porcelain tub, and Ami insists it go upstairs. To get it upstairs, they toss a rope over a roof beam and haul it up to the second floor balcony. No sissy block and tackle, or even a simple pulley, just toss the rope and haul away. But boy is it heavy, even Billy is shown lending a hand. But wait... we see 4 boys (no Noah) carry the thing from the new skiff. Course they doing this at low tide so they have a LONG way to carry it. (thankfully, we're spared the keystone cop routine of getting it to their bay.) Don't worry, though, these guys has STRONG hands, and they carry it to the cabin with no problem, each guy just grabbing the tub with 1 hand, and off they go.

When they get to the cabin they toss the rope and haul away. Like I said, this thing is HEAVY, even Billy is shown straining away, with the 13yo right in there lending a hand, while Ami supervises. Gabe does his orangutan impression, hanging from the beam and trying to pull the tub straight up one handed. No sign of Birdy or Noah, though. 

Once they get it inside Ami decides it belongs on the far side of the room. New flaw in their plan comes to the forefront. Did anyone think to wipe the mud off before bringing it inside? They try to carry it around the foot of the bed, and of course end up dragging the muddy thing across the bed. Ami must REALLY WANT this tub!! Despite the many hours she must spend scrubbing that white comforter on a washboard down at the creek, and all the bleach she uses to keep it that brilliant white, she's not the least bit upset.

Assume for a minute that they actually live in the cabin and plan to use the tub. Did they consider how much that tub will weigh full of water and a Brown is bathing? I can just see a tub falling through the floor like some movie comedy. Far as I know, the only running water is at the kitchen sink from that gravity fed system the boy genius rigged. How many trips up those stairs will it take to fill that tub? Did they get a water heater I'm not aware of? What am I thinking? They don't need no stinking hot water, they're used to their PVC pipe shower and bathing in the stream. I suppose the easy, but still essential, part of the plumbing, the drain, will be a snap. Sounds like that bubble bath the boys were talking about is going to be an awful lot of work.

A simple metal tub next to the stove never crossed the mind of these people after years of living in the bush. Nope, they'd rather go outside than bathe like countless people did in the past. I mean, hang a sheet up for privacy, get the hot water from the stove, and jump in. When you're done, use the same drain they jury rigged for the sink.

Here's a novel idea. If they've given up on raising chickens (remember back when Billy told us how VITAL the chickens would be to their subsistence life style - they needed the chickens or they were all going to STARVE) kick Noah out of the coop and covert it to a bath house. They might even get around to getting rid of the chicken  wire they still have falling down around Noah's bedroom. I remember at the time thinking they were over engineering the coop, so it should have no problem with the weight of the tub. Billy has told us several times what great carpenters they all are (despite the fact they have trouble driving nails) so it should be no to put one of those 55 gal drums up on a simple elevated platform for a gravity feed system. With all the rain in that part of Alaska, they might get enough water from rain to fill the drum if they put a catchment system on the coop roof - even if they don't it would be a lot easier than hauling water upstairs in the cabin. Put in simple wood stove, a metal tank above the stove to heat water, a garden house drain, and they'd have a bath house. Or, just paint the drum black to get some solar heat. Hell, they have the skiff hot tub, with a little work the Browns could have a sauna--- wait, did I just say "a little work" and "the Browns" in the same sentence? What was I thinking!?!

Edited May 21, 2016 by SRTouch
Clarification

[Beden]

And am I the only who noticed that winter is 5 minutes away, they have almost no wood for heat and Browntown is a mess from the bears and them being both away and inept so Daddy Billy decides that they all need a break so--hey!--road trip (okay, sea trip) to pick up some empty water tanks they were supposed to moved whenever the hell ago but never got around to. Then Matt and whichever bro it was opted to spend time making a hot tub from the previously burned and leaky skiff.

Don't they know they could die??? I mean seriously, laughing all the way to the First National Bank of Hoonah.

[AZChristian]

5 minutes ago, Beden said:

And am I the only who noticed that winter is 5 minutes away, they have almost no wood for heat and Browntown is a mess from the bears and them being both away and inept so Daddy Billy decides that they all need a break so--hey!--road trip (okay, sea trip) to pick up some empty water tanks they were supposed to moved whenever the hell ago but never got around to. Then Matt and whichever bro it was opted to spend time making a hot tub from the previously burned and leaky skiff.

Don't they know they could die??? I mean seriously, laughing all the way to the First National Bank of Hoonah.

Nah, they won't die.  There are several restaurants in Hoonah (one of which has the BEST halibut fish and chips I've ever eaten), and they live during filming season at a hotel in Hoonah which was described to me by a local as "rustic."  But still better than Browntown.

And they have plenty of money to continue to pay for the hotel and to eat out.

Come to think of it, I don't watch all that closely.  Have they ever shown them having a real sit-down meal together?  

[clod]

32 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

 Have they ever shown them having a real sit-down meal together?  

 

 I think it was in Ketchikan.    they were sitting around eating in that small apartment.  iirc, some were sitting on the floor.      :)   

[SRTouch]

2 hours ago, Beden said:

And am I the only who noticed that winter is 5 minutes away, they have almost no wood for heat and Browntown is a mess from the bears and them being both away and inept so Daddy Billy decides that they all need a break so--hey!--road trip (okay, sea trip) to pick up some empty water tanks they were supposed to moved whenever the hell ago but never got around to. Then Matt and whichever bro it was opted to spend time making a hot tub from the previously burned and leaky skiff.

Don't they know they could die??? I mean seriously, laughing all the way to the First National Bank of Hoonah.

Typical of the Browns. When they finish putting the tub in place (as if the fact it's sitting in the corner means it's ready to use) Billy tells us some of the things they need to get done. A garden, boardwalk, yada yada. Next scene the modern Renaissance Man shows us his electric moss experiment, Gabe and Matt mess with the remains of the faithful skiff, Birdy is making a cat walk the plank, Billy is surveying his domain leaning on the porch, and Bam is planning a covered porch on his hovel. Guess maybe Bear, Rainy, and Ami slept in at the hotel and are eating pizza while the crew gets the comforter cleaned. You're right, that night while they sit around with a dozen candles burning (because none of them bothered to check the generator has fueled) they decide to take a vacation. Never mind all those things that need to get done, everybody load up and let's take a cruise.

[To No]

I'm new to this forum and I thought I'd share this website. This guy does a great job of summarizing the Alaskan Gritters.

http://railingkill.com/category/alaskan-bush-people-episode-recap/

[Beden]

Quote

When they finish putting the tub in place (as if the fact it's sitting in the corner means it's ready to use) Billy tells us some of the things they need to get done. A garden, boardwalk, yada yada.

No no no, sorry and with respect (as always) Billy wasn't summarizing what they needed to do to get Browntown ready; he was giving a to-do list to the local contractors of what he wanted finished by the next episode. The tape was taken back to Hoonah so the real carpenters/electricians/plumbers could get their marching orders.

[AZChristian]

27 minutes ago, Beden said:

No no no, sorry and with respect (as always) Billy wasn't summarizing what they needed to do to get Browntown ready; he was giving a to-do list to the local contractors of what he wanted finished by the next episode. The tape was taken back to Hoonah so the real carpenters/electricians/plumbers could get their marching orders.

Either that, or he was quoting for viewers a list of the projects that the real workmen are already scheduled to do, so it will LOOK like Billy planned them.  The locals will tell you that none of the Browns do any of the work - it's all done by locals who are paid to do it.  Not bartered - PAID.

[Missmissie173]

I finally figured out what this show reminds me of - a combination of The Hardy Boys meet Beevis and ButtHead.  Let's get really stoned and try to figure out advanced engineering problems in the freezing cold and drizzle, while on a boat, that looks ready to sink

The entire dog hair sweater/hat/bathmat (whatever they were weaving) scene made me dry heave...that was just so gross. Way to add to the FUNK that already lingers around these Jokers. 

Next week, Ami will instruct Bird Bath and Herbal Essence in the ancient art of making macrame plant hangers and raccoon alarms.  Because, you know, housewifery life skills are important in the Bush.  And that's the way she rolls.

[new jersey devil]

Anyone else thinking Matt is on some stimulant? Meth, maybe?

I remember when he was arrested for that hit and run, the cop said he seemed high, and smelled like a "homeless person".

And i'm thinking our boy Noah is "functional idiot". 

[DoctorK]

To No - thanks for that link, I was laughing out loud at their recaps, they sound a lot like us. If they haven't copyrighted it, I think we should adopt their term Brownklownz.

[crazycatchick]

So "The Book of Bear" special was on last night. I didn't watch it yet, I don't know if I will as I can't take an hour full of Bear talking about how "extreme" he is when I am pretty sure he doesn't actually know what that word means. Extreme, IMO, isn't climbing trees, howling, running, or hanging off the side of the boat. Or setting up an obstacle course. 

Billy saying how the family needed to spend more time together and go out on the boat was ridiculous. The family is literally together 24/7. He was mad because they were all working on separate projects in Browntown like 3 feet away from each other. I know this show is fake but Billy's hold on his family is not normal. And then in the previews with the secret daughter, he's like I have been married once before....I was a teenager. Um, sort of like your current wife was when you basically brainwashed her away from her family?!

Another thing that bothered me--was why did they have to take the cats with them on the boat. That is not safe. These people should not have pets. 

Also, Rainy asking if they could roll the jeep window up because she didn't want her hair to get "whiplash." 

The amount of self esteem/egos these people have is astounding. 

[DoctorK]

Quote

These people should not have pets.

These people should not have children, pets, relatives, neighbors, house plants, etc. Nothing that requires responsibility.

[Beden]

Okay, I'm past the whole this is fake and scripted thing--that's accepted now and just sort of is what it is. The thing which truly bothers me is that this family (obviously including Baby Rain, still a minor)  not only are they profiting from being lying grifters but Ma and Pa are perpetuating this to the new generation with the unspoken assumption that this is an okay thing to do and is a valid lifestyle choice. Not only are they scamming the less cynical viewing public (unlike us who get that this is all BS) but the tacit take is that it's okay to lie, steal and generally take from anyone you can to get by then pack up, leave a frigging mess and move on to the next set of victims/dupes and profit from it. The producers willingly going along with Pa's assertion that the fam are just innocent victims and Big Brother just won't let them live the free life the good lord intended. I refuse to believe that TBTB believed Billy's load o'crap explanation about whey he and Bam were sentenced and have just let it ride to keep ratings and ad dollars flowing.

Clearly, money talks.

To quote Mammy "It ain't fittin', it just ain't fittin'. It ain't." I'm to the point where it's getting pretty offensive.

Edited May 27, 2016 by Beden

[Rock knocker]

I just watched the repeat of last weeks episode as well as this weeks new episode.

 

1) Pa docks a boat as ineptly as the kids

2) They should be ashamed of the condition of the air cleaner of their boats engine.  Soon I'm sure we'll have a new crisis when the engine pukes, because dad summit, nobody thought to ever change the air filter.

3) Twilla seemed board put upon, disinterested and less than genuine in her visit.  It was kind of a repeat of Noah's date last week, writ large.

4) I puked when Ami asked Twila to call her mom.  Billy played no part in her life, and Ami less than zero.