S01.E09: L0m1S

[ottoDbusdriver]

Episode Description:

 

Nine different planes are involved in a coordinated Wi-Fi attack.

 

 

 

[PhD-Purgatory15]

The Krummy going rogue to catch the evil teen hacker mastermind definitely had me flashing back to previous CSI episodes/storylines. In particular, the one where a video game was playing out in the real world and the villain ended up being a college coed from Miami-Dade Uni...not to mention on CSI:NY, Flack getting away with shooting Detective Angel's killer...and finding out later why Mac didn't turn him in during a near death dream sequence episode a couple seasons later (hint: it involved the Super Bowl). Other than that it was a pretty meh episode...

Edited April 30, 2015 by PhD-Purgatory15

[henripootel]

So the hacker this week was running a blackmail / identity theft scam, and it looks like it was going pretty well.  So why did she arrange to have her victim's phones shut down the plane's internet?  To draw unwanted attention to herself and her crimes?  Seemed like an awful lot of trouble for something pointless and stupid.

 

Krummy's been after this kid for how long?  She's been Keyser Sözeing since grade school? 

 

Logic check: whomever showed up to physically load up the poisoned charge-point was not automatically the hacker themselves.  Could have just been another anonymous cut-out paid to plug a drive into a phone system, just like the idiots she recruited to scam money who also never met her.  Likewise, not finding incriminating stuff on the hacker-girls ipad doesn't mean that she's free and clear.  Could be she has two ipads.  

 

And not for nothing but Krummy has bigger boobs than my wife.  And his beard continues to remind me of this u-shaped shag rug my mom put around our toilet when we were kids.

[ottoDbusdriver]

Your cell phone will get hacked while charging your phone, your credit card info will be stolen and maxxed out and then it will kill you and everyone you love.  It could happen to you.

 

Once again, another CSI:Cyber episode that is just mind-blowingly stupid.  And are viewers supposed to drink everytime someone says 'L0m1s' this episode ?

 

Do they really monitor Wifi uptime on airplanes ?  Because that shit frequently goes on the fritz that they would get so many alerts that they would just be ignored.

 

How did Avery, Mundo and Bow Wow get to Miami so quickly ?  And why does Mundo always seem to be hauling around a giant monitor in the field -- he had one in the Miami airport, and previous episodes it was in the back of the CSI:Cybermobile.  And then Krumitz flies by helicopter from D.C. to Miami in minutes.  WTF ?  Helicopters are even slower than airplanes.  And for good measure they all flew back to D.C. for whatever reason and then they all flew back down to Miami to bust the perp in her parent's house. WTF again ?  They  couldn't get anyone from the local field office to do that.

 

I couldn't believe that they were setting up in the gate area with all those people just wandering around.  All the flights took off around 9am to 10 am, which means that Team Cyber wouldn't even have got to Miami until noon or 1pm, and Krumitz's helicopter flight would have taken at least 5 or 6 hours.  Are the writer's for these shows incapable of doing basic math or using Google Maps ?

 

Why did they make the plane in Miami wait at the gate until Team Cyber showed up ?  Because there should have been a lot of pissed off people that their flight had been canceled, returned to Miami, and they weren't allowed to deplane.

 

And would they just fuck off already with Avery and her incredible powers of observation while interrogating people.  Watching Avery during her video call with homebase as she walked through the terminal with her hand stuck all the way out was just painful to watch -- the camera moved more than her face did.

 

Juice jacking -- that's just ridiculous.

 

Krumitz can fuck right off with bullying that one passenger at the charging bar.  What a tool !!  Here's a thought -- what if he was using a power-only USB cable ?  So I didn't feel bad at all when Krummie got verbally bitchslapped by Avery at the end.  Why would that charging bar be rigged for data in the first place ?

 

Where was Raven this episode -- vacationing ?  Not only was she no where to be found, but no one even mentioned her.  And don't care about Peter MacNicol's character and his boss issues.

 

Did Bow Wow go to all the other airports and remove the malware from the passenger's phones of the other 8 flights ?

 

And for good measure, there's not only hacking and theft, but a murder. Mwa - ha - ha - ha !!!  Oh those evil hackers.

 

How would those three hackers have made all those purchases at brick and mortar stores so quickly with the stolen credit card numbers ?  There were 18 stores on that map.

 

That takedown by JvDB by flying through the air and crashing into that table was so overacted.  Even worse -- the dancing blue character with the gotchas that was taunting Krumitz, it was so cheaply low-tech.  And the trace program that just dropped somewhere north of Afghanistan -- shouldn't old Krummie have known it was bullshit once it bounced off of Santa Monica and San Antonio first ?

 

Avery just knows that Krumitz illegally hacked into L0m1s' computer because he knew she was 1st place in the Miami-Dade County High School Chess tournament -- but wouldn't that be public knowledge that would have been posted somewhere in the Internet.  But no, Avery knows he saw it on her wall.  WTF ? Where would a teenager who plays soccer, takes dance lessons, plays violin, practices chess enough to win tournaments, and goes to school full-time ever find the time to become this super legendary black hat.

 

It actually gets worse -- if this L0m1s hacker is a legend that came on the scene a few years back and someone that Krumitz has been chasing for the last 3 years, that would mean she's been a super black hat since she was 13, and had to have been training for years beforehand to get that good.  I seriously doubt that.  And just outright releasing her because "she's a juvenile" is ridiculous -- they prosecute teenagers in adult courts all the time.

Edited April 30, 2015 by ottoDbusdriver

[henripootel]

And just outright releasing her because "she's a juvenile" is just ridiculous -- they prosecute teenagers in adult courts all the time.

I think what Avery said was it'd be hard to prosecute her 'due to sentencing guidelines'.  Fuck does that mean?  That there are guidelines for this particular concatenation of crimes that specify that 16-year-olds get a such a light sentence that it's not even worth a trial?  Jack McCoy would vomit over such stupidity.

[Jamoche]

So the hacker this week was running a blackmail / identity theft scam, and it looks like it was going pretty well.  So why did she arrange to have her victim's phones shut down the plane's internet?  

Was that part intentional? I thought (not that I was paying that much attention) that the hacked phone was sending lots of packets accidentally, like this aggressively tweeting lightbulb.

 

Ooh, and Lifelock is running ads about hacked... somethings. I'm not going to back up to see.

 

So, Krummy taking the time to explain to exactly one of the phone charging people in great detail what USB connectors do - mega infodump, take a drink. And I've installed integrated power outlet/USB chargers - it's not like card skimmers, you're dealing with standard wiring there. Anyone tries to pop that out without flipping the circuit breaker is risking getting fried. And that's how she got caught? When she's already got disposable minions? Come on, you're a net-savvy kid, you should have read the Evil Overlord's List.

 

TSA didn't raise any red flags over duffle bags full of unfamiliar equipment with wires sticking out? Really?

 

And - the only record that the kid's a chess champion is a piece of *paper* on her wall? Right...

Edited April 30, 2015 by Jamoche

[Zahdii]

So many things wrong this week, as usual.  I didn't get the "she's too young to prosecute" bs.  Hasn't anyone ever heard of a teen being charged as an adult?  She admitted she did it because she could, and she was bored.  How is it that hard to prosecute when the perp admitted what they did and why they did it?  I was also surprised no one pointed out that the girl was exhibiting textbook sociopathic behavior, for that alone she should be kept in custody away from electronics and given daily therapy.  Maybe she was still young enough to be helped.

[shapeshifter]

Your cell phone will get hacked while charging your phone, your credit card info will be stolen and maxxed out and then it will kill you and everyone you love.  It could happen to you.

 

Once again, another CSI:Cvber episode that is just mind-blowingly stupid.  And are viewers supposed to drink everytime someone says 'L0m1s' this episode ?

 

Do they really monitor Wifi uptime on airplanes ?  Because that shit frequently goes on the fritz that they would get so many alerts that they would just be ignored.

 

How did Avery, Mundo and Bow Wow get to Miami so quickly ?  And why does Mundo always seem to be hauling around a giant monitor in the field -- he had in the Miami airport, and previous episodes it was in the back of the CSI:Cybermobile.  And then Krumitz flies by helicopter from D.C. to Miami in minutes.  WTF ?  Helicopters are even slower than airplanes.  And for good measure they all flew back to D.C. for whatever reason and then they all flew back down to Miami to bust the perp in her parent's house. WTF again ?  They  couldn't get anyone from the local field office to do that.

 

I couldn't believe that they were setting up in the gate area with all those people just wandering around.  All the flights took off around 9am to 10 am, which means that Team Cyber wouldn't even have got to Miami until noon or 1pm, and Krumitz's helicopter flight would have taken at least 5 or 6 hours.  Are the writer's for these shows incapable of doing basic math or using Google Maps ?

 

Why did they make the plane in Miami wait at the gate until Team Cyber showed up ?  Because there should have been a lot of pissed off people that their flight had been canceled, returned to Miami, and they weren't allowed to deplane.

 

And would they just fuck off already with Avery and her incredible powers of observation while interrogating people.  Watching Avery during her video call with homebase as she walked through the terminal with her hand stuck all the way out was just painful to watch -- the camera moved more than her face did.

 

Juice jacking -- that's just ridiculous.

 

Krumitz can fuck right off with bullying that one passenger at the charging bar.  What a tool !!  Here's a thought -- what if he was using a power-only USB cable ?  So I didn't feel bad at all when Krummie got verbally bitchslapped by Avery at the end.  Why would that charging bar be rigged for data in the first place ?

 

Where was Raven this episode -- vacationing ?  Not only was she no where to be found, but no one even mentioned her.  And don't care about Peter MacNicol's character and his boss issues.

 

Did Bow Wow go to all the other airports and remove the malware from the passenger's phones of the other 8 flights ?

 

And for good measure, there's not only hacking and theft, but a murder. Mwa - ha - ha - ha !!!  Oh those evil hackers.

 

How would those three hackers have made all those purchases at brick and mortar stores so quickly with the stolen credit card numbers ?  There were 18 stores on that map.

 

That takedown by JvDB by flying through the air and crashing into that table was so overacted.  Even worse -- the dancing blue character with the gotchas that was taunting Krumitz, it was so cheaply low-tech.  And the trace program that just dropped somewhere north of Afghanistan -- shouldn't old Krummie have known it was bullshit once it bounced off of Santa Monia and San Antonio first ?

 

Avery just knows that Krumitz illegally hacked into L0m1s' computer because he knew she was 1st place in the Miami-Dade County High School Chess tournament -- but wouldn't that be public knowledge that would have been posted somewhere in the Internet.  But no, Avery knows he saw it on her wall.  WTF ? Where would a teenager who plays soccer, takes dance lessons, plays violin, practices chess enough to win tournaments, and goes to school full-time ever find the time to become this super legendary black hat.

 

It actually gets worse -- if this L0m1s hacker is a legend that came on the scene a few years back and someone that Krumitz has been chasing for the last 3 years, that would mean she's been a super black hat since she was 13, and had to have been training for years beforehand to get that good.  I seriously doubt that.  And just outright releasing her because "she's a juvenile" is just ridiculous -- they prosecute teenagers in adult courts all the time.

Thank you for all of this.

Clearly you thought more about it than the writers, producers, editors, et al. did.

Only plausible explanation: They are in the Fringeverse where you can drive from New York to Boston and back in an hour through wormholes to alternate universes that allow you to see your younger or older self.

Instead of a PSA, we get a Smart Phones and E-Commerce Are Dangerous warning. Did the writers think they could make a bundle short selling Apple stock yesterday? If so, I hope they didn't just gamble away their life savings.

[ottoDbusdriver]

TSA didn't raise any red flags over duffle bags full of unfamiliar equipment with wires sticking out? Really?

 

How was this not seized by the TSA ?  And why would hackers carry anything on them that could identify them like those stupid plastic mini-wizard hats ? They're in the middle of committing a crime and probably all three of them ended up going away for a long time for computer crime, fraud and manslaughter for killing that innocent woman managing the charging bar (unless they are all under 18 in which case according to this show they would have been released with no charges).

 

Only plausible explanation: They are in the Fringeverse where you can drive from New York to Boston and back in an hour through wormholes to alternate universes that allow you to see your younger or older self.

 

I miss Fringe.

[mnfe]

DH and I hatewatched this last night.  SO many ridiculous things.

 

In addition to what was said above:

 

1.  Yanking your arm away from someone and hitting a bathroom stall, first with your shoulder then with your head, is enough to kill someone?  Seriously??

2.  The acting scene with the "I just want to know whyyyyyy!!!!" was over the top bad.

3.  I'm not clear on how hacking cell phones got so many credit cards.  Do people really store all of their credit card data on their phones?  Maybe I am just not with the times on this one.  Or a little more security conscious.

4.  The minions bought all the high ticket items that could be converted to cash, and then had the cash the same day?  Afterall, they said L0M1S didn't show up for her share.  How did they convert it all so fast?

5.  That payment website must have some kind of security flaw in it to allow a virus to piggyback onto a webform submission.

 

We also talked about all the missed potential of this show.  With different actors, of course.  There are so many interesting stories about the dark web, where anything is for sale, the silk road, etc.  And instead we get hacked baby monitors, evil twin routers, and juice jacking.  This is the small change stuff.  Now wonder that guy didn't get the promotion.  They're taking down penny-ante crooks and completely bypassing the big fish.

Edited April 30, 2015 by mnfe

[Jamoche]

We also talked about all the missed potential of this show.  With different actors, of course.  There are so many interesting stories about the dark web, where anything is for sale, the silk road, etc.  And instead we get hacked baby monitors, evil twin routers, and juice jacking.  This is the small change stuff.  Now wonder that guy didn't get the promotion.  They're taking down penny-ante crooks and completely bypassing the big fish.

Yeah, but telling stories about real hackers wouldn't scare people into signing up for whatever LifeLock is peddling.

 

ETA: Snarky recap - http://www.vulture.com/2015/04/csi-cyber-screencap-recap-airplane-edition.html

Edited April 30, 2015 by Jamoche

[BooksRule]

I think that everything I noticed that was bad about this episode has been mentioned except maybe this one:  How did those two people manage to carry an unconscious bleeding woman through a busy airport, arrange her carefully on a chair and walk away without someone noticing them?  It wasn't as though she was semi-conscious and they were 'helping' her walk--you could see her feet dragging on the floor.

[Jamoche]

I think that everything I noticed that was bad about this episode has been mentioned except maybe this one:  How did those two people manage to carry an unconscious bleeding woman through a busy airport, arrange her carefully on a chair and walk away without someone noticing them? 

This is some strange time-warped airport where all TSA does is record X-ray images of your luggage. They don't even make sure you have a ticket before you get into the terminal area.

[thuganomics85]

I could tell this was a boring episode when Mundo was chasing the hacker and I was really wishing someone had a trampoline in the backyard.  Seriously, how awesome would it have been if during the chase scene, Mundo just jumped on a trampoline and tackled the guy from above?!  Yeah, this not a good kind of boredom.

 

I can't make heads or tails of this L0M1S (ugh) stuff.  Krumitz sure made it sound like this was a long-term feud, so was she this master hacker since, I don't know, ten? Is she like the female version of Scorpion's Walter or something?  And, seriously, that ending.  Granted, law isn't my thing, but I really found it hard to believe she got of scot-free.  Even if she wouldn't be sent to jail, I have to think juvy or house arrest (and no access to the internet), would come into play.  But, nope: the courts are just going to let someone who destroyed a Senator's career because she was "bored", go free.  I guess they better not hope she gets bored enough to help terrorists or sell American secrets.

 

Did Raven just quit and they didn't tell us?  Maybe the actress found another gig; that would probably be the best, for her sake.  But, it's just so weird they don't even throw a line in about where she might be.

 

I've seen enough technical exposition to last a lifetime, but Krummy explaining juice hacking to that random guy, has to be one of the worst.  He was this close to busting out a powerpoint, and asking everyone to take notes.  I know CBS probably doesn't think highly of its viewers intelligence and ability to comprehend technology, but could it have been any clunkier?

[solotrek]

Did Raven just quit and they didn't tell us?  Maybe the actress found another gig; that would probably be the best, for her sake.  But, it's just so weird they don't even throw a line in about where she might be.

 

The actress live tweets during episodes and says she'll be back next week. Seems like she's in a band that just dropped their EP or something, so that might explain it.

[Jamoche]

Here's a thought -- what if he was using a power-only USB cable ? 

I would have loved it if he'd pulled out the cable and pointed to a tiny piece of tape that makes it power-only. If this show was really about informing people of tech risks instead of fearmongering, that would've been perfect. 

[Raja]

We have time to get a rifle armed SWAT team to attack computer hackers, But then none of them think to cover the back door before bareheaded underarmed agent with a pistol is first in

[Tony]

Neckbeard was even more annoying in this episode than usual. Him and his "white whale" storyline was beyond stupid.

[ottoDbusdriver]

Neckbeard was even more annoying in this episode than usual. Him and his "white whale" storyline was beyond stupid.

 

I'm still trying to figure out how Krumitz went from the mailroom to becoming a black hat -- what about Krummie's mailroom skills piqued Avery's attention to give him a shot at C-TOC ? </sarcasm>

[henripootel]

I'm still trying to figure out how Krumitz went from the mailroom to becoming a black hat -- what about Krummie's mailroom skills piqued Avery's attention to give him a shot at C-TOC ?

I'm still trying to figure out who gave Avery her job.  So she's an academic too dumb to hide her sensitive patient files, who then decides hey, I think I'll give law enforcement a shot.  Next thing you know she's in charge of Cyber Division, not consulting for (which would still take some training to get her up to speed), in charge.  The 'human lie detector' thing is massive bullshit anyway but if that's her magic power, use her as an interrogator.  But nobody ever thought to put Fitz in charge on Cracker (which have made the cops on that show laugh themselves schiavo), and he was actually a devastatingly good interrogator.

Neckbeard was even more annoying in this episode than usual. Him and his "white whale" storyline was beyond stupid.

Made all the more ridiculous by the fact that his 'worthy nemesis' had to have been a child when she started spanking him and is still bieber-demographic age.  Yet they still give him a smug 'I got the cuffs for you right here' shot like he's Javert .  Jeez, this stupid show.

Edited May 1, 2015 by henripootel

[Raja]

 

Made all the more ridiculous by the fact that his 'worthy nemesis' had to have been a child when she started spanking him and is still bieber-demographic age.  Yet they still give him a smug 'I got the cuffs for you right here' shot like he's Javert .  Jeez, this stupid show.

Well as a franchise CSI knows what to do to a Bieber, wait for sweeps

[Calamity Jane]

So bad, for so many reasons.  How does this stay on the air?  I gave up for a while, guess that's my plan for the future.  Just so, so bad.  Thank you everyone above who detailed all the many reasons why. 

[iscoffy]

Why did they decide to do a show about cyber crime if they think we're too dumb to get it or they think it's too boring to show?  One of the things about the original CSI that caught people's attention was that it was quirky and the science was interesting-- they found ways to make GSR or fingerprint comparison or blood spatter or whatever interesting.  What they did not do (or almost never did) was loudly yell, "YES!  GOT YA!" and start high-fiving and chest bumping all over the lab every time they figured out anything, in a pathetic attempt to make it seem like something happened that we ought to care about.

 

My "favorite" part of the episode was Krummitz and his trembling lip explaining that he didn't want to let Avery Ryan down, so he... did something that would guarantee that she would be disappointed in him if she found out?

[henripootel]

so he... did something that would guarantee that she would be disappointed in him if she found out?

If she found out?  Someone was absolutely gonna ask Krummy how he figured out who L0m1S was.  And it'd be in his official report.  And he'd (ostensibly) be going to court some day to describe just how he found her, this being an integral part of proving she was guilty.   This was so obvious even Avery told him this, although she said he was off the hook because there'd be no trial (for ... reasons).  Uh, no, Avery - Krummy still has to file an official report and somebody is gonna ask how he figured out who L0m1S was.  It's kinda the point of the whole case, so if he broke the rules (or the law) in his investigation, he'll be lucky to only get fired. Surely they'd have mentioned little procedures like this to him when they moved him up from the mail room.

 

And not for nothing but if If Avery covers up for him, she'll be joining him on the unemployment line, or so I would think.  But then nobody said boo about the Beek roughing up an innocent guy in interrogation, nor Lil Bow Wow tipping off a suspect (to set him up, but still).  I mean I'm totally cool with dramatic license and all but this is some bullshit.

Edited May 1, 2015 by henripootel

[iscoffy]

Didn't you know, if the perp doesn't get charged, you don't have to write a report!  That's because it's not just crime... it's CYBER CRIME.  On the dark web, and Friend Agenda, and the airport charging stations!

 

I'm going to assume that Krum got the same level of training getting bumped up from the mail room as Avery got to effortlessly transition from psychiatrist to behaviorist to cyber crime expert team leader.

[hnygrl]

I'm torn. Really. I both love and loathe this show.

 

I love the concept enough to ignore the horrifically awful acting. The tech makes me weep it's so fly. but the acting. Oh my sweet Jesus, the acting is horrific. Not. One. Decent. Actor. on the whole show. Sheesh. Juice Jacking is a real thing, maybe not as huge as they made it out to be, but still it's the reason I have a 10500 MaH charger fully charged in my purse at all times so I don't have to jack in to public jacks.

 

I also carry an emergency (just enough megabytes to get me through a day) Portable wi-fi hot spot so I don't have to use public Wi-Fi if my phone/tablet's data runs out/is out of range.

 

Love the show. HATE the acting!!! HORRIBLE acting. These people SUCK!!!

[Kromm]

This show is like magic.  Just when you think it CAN'T possibly get any worse, they somehow pop out an episode that trumps the earlier ones in terms of ridiculousness, bad acting, bad writing, bad dialogue, etc.  It shouldn't be possible--there should be some upper limit they reach where it can't POSSIBLY get worse. And I keep getting suckered into thinking they've reached that point. And new episodes keep coming out that prove me wrong about that.

 

In it's own way it's a kind of sick miracle. Sort of "pulling dog poop out of a hat" (a kind of inverse "pulling a rabbit out of a hat" thing).

 

The list of what was "wrong" with this episode would take pages.  I'm too tired to do it, so lets just summarize in one word. Everything.

Edited May 5, 2015 by Kromm

[shapeshifter]

This show is like magic.  Just when you think it CAN'T possibly get any worse, they somehow pop out an episode that trumps the earlier ones in terms of ridiculousness, bad acting, bad writing, bad dialogue, etc.  It shouldn't be possible--there should be some upper limit they reach where it can't POSSIBLY get worse. And I keep getting suckered into thinking they've reached that point. And new episodes keep coming out that prove me wrong about that.

 

In it's own way it's a kind of sick miracle. Sort of "pulling dog poop out of a hat" (a kind of inverse "pulling a rabbit out of a hat" thing).

 

The list of what was "wrong" with this episode would take pages.  I'm too tired to do it, so lets just summarize in one word. Everything.

Maybe we can start a thread titled: CSI Cyber Magic: Pulling Dog Poop Out Of A Hat

[henripootel]

The list of what was "wrong" with this episode would take pages.  I'm too tired to do it, so lets just summarize in one word. Everything.

I think the part that annoys me the most is that the 'signature' bits of this show (the hacker crap, the ridiculous tech, the 'human lie detector' bit) - they're just so stupid.  Original CSI had their own questionable tropes (5-minute DNA tests, lab techs interrogating people) but at least it added something to the show, and their characters were fairly low-key professionals.  This show is built on BS and most all of the characters just grate my tits.  If you're gonna bake improbable stuff into your show, at least make it interesting.  I'd honestly prefer Avery to have magical mind-reading powers than her stupid 'trained to spot tells' nonsense.