Quotable Quotes from Psych: Whaaat?

[amensisterfriend]

From He Dead, otherwise known as an episode that very few non-me people love :) (Granted, I fast forward through Abigail going behind Shawn's back to arrange a meeting with Henry despite him specifically saying he wasn't ready for that, which...ugh, don't get me started!) 

 

Rich widow: "I'm really quite shocked."
Lassie: "You are?"

RW: "Yes, it just doesn't show on my face because of years of botox."

 

"Note to self: be rich one day."

 

Hilariously obnoxious, spoiled son Garvin responding to Shawn's lame Heathers reference: "I get it, even though I was, like, zero when that movie came out."

 

 

 

The maid to her boss in regards to Shawn: "Who is this man? Make me make him leave."

 

"If I belonged to a club like this, I'd have to cancel my membership on account of them letting in the likes of me."

 

"First of all, there is no 'Relationship Shawn' or 'Boyfriend Shawn.' There's just Regular Shawn and Malibu Shawn. You know that."

 

"You know what they say about a man with a large carbon footprint?"

 

Victim's daughter: "I can't believe you think I would kill my own father."

Shawn: "In my defense, I initially thought you were sleeping with him."

 

Shawn to Henry: "Considering the fact that we've never tried to kill each other, I'm willing to admit that our family is not as messed up as I thought we were." 

Edited September 30, 2015 by amensisterfriend

[DittyDotDot]

Office Space, y'all...so very funny. Some of the best funniest parts aren't quotable--just Gus panicking--but there are a few...

 

Shawn: Woody, you are calling me.

Woody: Don´t pick up.

 

 

Shawn: You call it insane, we call it Tuesday.
Gus: It´s Thursday.
Shawn: Is it really?

 

 

Shawn: Gus, remind me what Deja Vu is
Gus: This is Deja Vu.

 

And, my personal favorite...

Woody (tied up at the Psych office): Happier than a swine in poo. By the way, this was all my idea. I can not be trusted.

Edited November 4, 2015 by DittyDotDot

[Check Sanity]

I just watched Dead Bear Walking the other day and still have this interaction popping into my mind and can't help but chuckle every time:

Gus: I'm dead serious. I don't even like bears in fables Shawn. Goldielocks was a crazy blond shorty for going up into that house in the first place.

Shawn: Don't say shorty.

Gus: Shorty. *walks away*

Shawn: You're going to the bunny den aren't you?

Gus: Don't be making that your business.

Shawn: Why are you talking like that?

Gus: I'm deep in the streets Shawn.

Shawn: You're on a wooded path to nowhere!

I don't know why, the delivery of that last line tickles me.

[DittyDotDot]

From American Duos, there's really so, so many, but this always has me in stitches...

Really? That was your plan? That has to be the poorest executed attack in history. I was two feet away from you all the time! I mean, you have to be absolutely, without doubt, the worst murderer I have ever seen. 

[DittyDotDot]

Camp Tikihama
Oh, what you are
Reaches near and reaches far
 

From white-capped mountains to crystal lakes
Sing out loud for Tiki sakes

We are friends who bond over bight amber fires
Then to marshmallow dreams we will retire

Camp Tikihama
You're so true

La-la-la-la-la
And then view

La-la-la-la-la
And then view

 

I know you've always wanted to know all the words to that song. You're welcome! ;)

 

Edited October 26, 2016 by DittyDotDot

[ulkis]

Ion has prompted me to watch a lot of episodes I never completely watched. From "Santa Barbarian Candidate":

Lassiter: Are you saying that Spencer might actually win this thing? My God, the Mayans were right. 

Henry: That's it, I'm gonna have to move. There's no other solution.

Gus: Will you guys calm down? Shawn is not going to be mayor. It's just for the investigation.

Lassiter: These things have a way of snowballing Guster. One day he's mayor, the next his face is on our currency. Can't believe I'm going to have to assassinate a public figure.

Henry: You know, when he was 10 years old, he ran for office on the promise that he'd build a thunderdome in the schoolyard? I can't even imagine what that idiot's got planned now.

Shawn (talking to reporters): That is an excellent question, Tina. It's essentially a giant, cage-like structure, an arena where conflict can be solved in a public forum. My administration will be all about transparency, hot dog wieners of unusual lengths, and gladiatorial justice.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0D-VKDM8Ejs

[GHScorpiosRule]

Henry: "It's this new soap that I'm using. It foams more."

Shawn: "It foams more? Dad, it's called Bubble Bath."

Henry: "Well, I don't think it's officially called bubble bath. If the bubbles happen accidentally, but whatever, Shawn."

Shawn: "Who are you? Where's my father?"

Me: ??????????

"He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not, He Loves Me, Oops, He's Dead!"

[GHScorpiosRule]

Gus: "Look, I'm sorry.  I was wrong for not telling you.  But dude, you know when I get married for real, you'll be standing up there on that altar, right next to me, as my best man."

Shawn: "Thank you for saying that.  I needed to hear it."

"There's Something About Mira."

I just love that moment between Gus and Shawn.

[GHScorpiosRule]

Scene: Pet Store.

Gus: "I have something big to tell you."

Shawn: "You know you can say anything to me, Gus!"(while stroking an adorable bunny) "We've known each other forever and there's absolutely nothing that could dent our impenetrable bond."

Gus: "I have a secret girlfriend."

Shawn: "You're Dead to me."

Gus: "Shawn-"

Shawn: "I can't believe you. You brought me all the way down here to get hopped up on bunny love so you could spring this on me, and I wouldn't make a scene."

Gus: "Yeah, pretty much."

Shawn: "Well, it's working. I don't even remember what this whole thing was about. God, this bunny is strong. Must be Colombian."

***************************************

Gus: "Shawn, the thing is, you have a tendency to scare my girlfriends away."

Shawn: "Why, because I ask a few simple questions?"

Gus: "You asked one girl if she knew the answer to the riddle of the sphinx."

Shawn: "Aaand? Bullet dodged. You're very welcome."

Gus: "You only knew that because you saw it on SuperFriends."

Shawn: "She had the same opportunity to see that same episode, Gus."

"Thrill Seekers and Hell Raisers"

Edited December 2, 2016 by GHScorpiosRule

[jird]

I made my son watch "Gus's Dad May Have Killed an Old Guy" yesterday and now he cannot stop saying, "Let's put baby Jesus in this shot glass!"

[Skyfall]

On 11/22/2016 at 2:01 PM, ulkis said:

Ion has prompted me to watch a lot of episodes I never completely watched. From "Santa Barbarian Candidate":

Lassiter: Are you saying that Spencer might actually win this thing? My God, the Mayans were right. 

Henry: That's it, I'm gonna have to move. There's no other solution.

Gus: Will you guys calm down? Shawn is not going to be mayor. It's just for the investigation.

Lassiter: These things have a way of snowballing Guster. One day he's mayor, the next his face is on our currency. Can't believe I'm going to have to assassinate a public figure.

Henry: You know, when he was 10 years old, he ran for office on the promise that he'd build a thunderdome in the schoolyard? I can't even imagine what that idiot's got planned now.

Shawn (talking to reporters): That is an excellent question, Tina. It's essentially a giant, cage-like structure, an arena where conflict can be solved in a public forum. My administration will be all about transparency, hot dog wieners of unusual lengths, and gladiatorial justice.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0D-VKDM8Ejs

Psych foretold the future!

Also a great minor line from the pilot, "Clearly you feel very strongly about this."

[ulkis]

On 12/13/2016 at 9:08 AM, jird said:

I made my son watch "Gus's Dad May Have Killed an Old Guy" yesterday and now he cannot stop saying, "Let's put baby Jesus in this shot glass!"

My favorite line from that may be, "and then she lifted up his body at this slow, agonizing pace!"

[DittyDotDot]

On 12/18/2016 at 1:34 PM, ulkis said:

My favorite line from that may be, "and then she lifted up his body at this slow, agonizing pace!"

Coupled with Gus's slow and agonizing ride up in that lift chair! ;)

So much of this show isn't just the words, but the reactions and other things going on in the scenes. Like the scene in Office Space where Gus is trying to "clean up" the crime scene and just keeps making it worse. There's no dialogue, but it has to be Dule's most brilliant and hilarious work on the show. 

Edited December 21, 2016 by DittyDotDot

[ulkis]

10 hours ago, DittyDotDot said:

Coupled with Gus's slow and agonizing ride up in that life chair! ;)

So much of this show isn't just the words, but the reactions and other things going on in the scenes. Like the scene in Office Space where Gus is trying to "clean up" the crime scene and just keeps making it worse. There's no dialogue, but it has to be Dule's most brilliant and hilarious work on the show. 

I didn't know if I saw that episode, so I looked it up, and the description reminded me of a scene in "the greatest adventure in basic cable" (paraphrasing that episode title), and the scene ties into what you're saying - the scene where Shawn and Gus are trying to untie themselves and Shawn is using a pen to dial. 

I just saw the one where they're at the hippie compound. Tons of good non verbal stuff in that one as well.

[andromeda331]

Office Space aired two days ago on Ion, it is still so funny. The guy from Corporate had me cracking up too. Telling Gus to stop using the cocoa because he that makes him a jerk. Who knew. Also Gus's fake reaction to his boss's death. "Oh, no. Oh no." In that deep voice.  And not at all suspiciously remarking about how "You see a man yesterday, and not at all in between, and now he's dead.  A few minutes later admitting that he took someone else's lunch.

[jird]

On 1/5/2017 at 8:59 AM, andromeda331 said:

Office Space aired two days ago on Ion, it is still so funny. The guy from Corporate had me cracking up too. Telling Gus to stop using the cocoa because he that makes him a jerk. Who knew. Also Gus's fake reaction to his boss's death. "Oh, no. Oh no." In that deep voice.  And not at all suspiciously remarking about how "You see a man yesterday, and not at all in between, and now he's dead.  A few minutes later admitting that he took someone else's lunch.

That episode just kills me. Everything Gus does in it is so perfect. "The meats and the cheeses. . . they're not gonna touch."

[DittyDotDot]

"Luckily, I'm wearing my probable cause door-kicking shoes."

HA! Every now and then Lassie gets a good one! ;)

ETA: Forgot to mention the episode: Let's Doo-Wop It Again.

Edited February 22, 2017 by DittyDotDot
Because "probably cause door-kicking shoes" doesn't have the same ring as "probable cause door-kicking shoes." ;)

[bettername2come]

Watching some season 7, because those are the eps I happen to have saved to my computer, and I come across 2 favorites that are polar opposites in terms of seriousness.

Shawn: No, Jules, that's not gonna happen. That's not gonna happen, because, if I do that, then all of this goes away, all of it. And with it goes the good. All the lives that I have saved, the lives that I've improved. This is-this is what I have, Jules. This is how I do good.

 

Gus: What? Z crushed you? With a piano? Like in the Road Runner? Yes, I'm coming, I'm just saying, how fast can a piano move?

[twoods]

From Psy vs Psy, one of my favorites:

Shawn: You might want to check the cash from the dealership. It's not all counterfeit.

Ewing: That's ridiculous. If I learned to laugh as a child, I would do it right now.

 

Lassiter: I wrestled in high school.

Ewing: With your conscience?

 

Shawn: Dad, I'm confused. These look like plans for a wet bar.

Henry:  yeah, that's right. For entertaining.

Shawn: right, but I don't see anywhere in the plan a portal to 1976.

 

Juliet (about washing machine): That's a really cute front loader.

Ewing- Thank you. 

My favorite exchange is when Ewing quotes Romeo and Juliet and Shawn quotes Facts of Life. Kills me every single time. I dont know the exact quote sadly. 

[bettername2come]

So this video on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cs8i-c-Jwbg has a Shawn quote from every episode, and here are a few of my favorites from it:

Shawn: Imagine you weren't just a bland, gangly, average human, huh. That you could wink at someone and light up their world. That you could make a child think that you have given them an ice cream cone without giving them the cone! And then watch them skip off into a beautiful meadow licking nothing but air! Imagine that!

 

Shawn: Oh, my God, Gus is gonna die!

Gus: I'm not gonna die, Shawn.

Shawn: You are! Soon! Definitely before me if statistics prove correct. Which is so wrong, 'cause I'm practically asking for it.

 

Shawn: When I was a kid, I had a recurring nightmare that aliens came down and abducted me. And they did experiments on my brain. But where are those aliens now?

Henry: Shawn, look.

Shawn: Please, take me away!

 

Gus: Today was Bring Your White Best Friend To Work Day. Did you not get the memo?

Guy at Gus's Work: I didn't get the memo, and even if I did, I don't have a white best friend.

Shawn: That makes two of us.

 

Shawn: Your new legal name is Recap McGee.

 

Shawn: We get caught together. We face death together. It happens every week.

[bettername2come]

Shawn: He's no dandy.

Gus: He's a black gentleman ninja!

 

Woody: Freeze, you elegant bastard!

 

Ordained villain: Shall we begin?

Shawn: I do!

Jules: Me too!

 

Vick: Get out of here? Mr. Guster, this is my first field action in two years. Do you have any idea what the chief of police does?

Shawn: Yeah, they cut ribbons and stuff.

Vick: Exactly. It's awful! So, if you'll excuse me, I am going to go shoot some bad guys.

[DittyDotDot]

Shawn: You know who wears a beard, beard. Overachievers.

 

Shawn: Your right eye has a name?
Gus: D'Ontario
Shawn: What's the left eye?
Gus: Lisa Lopez
Shawn: Walked right into that.
Gus: You need to tighten it up.

 

Gus: I'm the hunter. Me. Cheetahs don't wait for gazelles to hop into their mouth.
Shawn: Dude, I think you might be the gazelle.

 

Gus: My name is Burton Guster and this is my partner, White Privilege. 
Shawn: Eh, that's my bit.

 

Gus: Look, you can't follow me around, research me, try to kiss me, sniff my head, make me feel uncomfortable...
Shawn: He's literally done all those things since Thanksgiving.
Woody: He's getting Gussed. No wonder he doesn't like it.

 

Juliet: Heather Rockrear?
Gus: What? That's what we're calling her. And the brother's the Black Gentleman Dandy.
Shawn: That's correct, Gus. And you're the Thin White Duke!
 

Shawn: Hey, I'll be doing all the Jack-tagging around here. Okay, Jack.

 

Gus: I may make a jump for it. How many sharks you think are in the bay?
Shawn: At least one.
Gus: Dammit!

[ElectricBoogaloo]

El Proveedor: Buying or selling?
Shawn: Browsing. Window shopping, if I'm being completely honest. I just started my Christmas shopping today, okay?

El Proveedor: Who the hell wears a beard over a beard?
Shawn: Who wears a beard-beard? Overachievers, that's who, Jack.

Gus's boss: The problem for me is Neil deGrasse Tyson gets as much wrong as he gets right. I mean, I just don't appreciate being talked down to about, especially about asteroids or physics. Hawking is in the ballpark. He gets it half right.

Gus: I don't remember giving you permission to borrow my Hagrid costume, Shawn.

Shawn: Hey, man, is that sourdough?
Gus: You know damn well it's sourdough.

Sammy: Is this Extreme Makeover: Criminal Edition?

Shawn: It looks amazing, doesn't it? I just finished the addition. I matched it exactly with the thirtieth anniversary bluray.
Gus: Of Gremlins?
Shawn: Jes.
Gus: Shawn, we're eight feet underground at the end of an alley in Chinatown.
Shawn: Gus, don't be the comma in Earth, Wind & Fire. This is a glorious triumph, especially considering all the restrictions you gave me - cable car adjacent, gotta be smelling distance from Ghiradelli Square.

Gus: It literally looks like a bunch of letters pushed together.
Shawn: psychphrancisco - one word, all lowercase, PH for the F. What's not to understand, Gus?

Shawn: Have you ever heard the saying, "You gotta spend money to buy things"?

Shawn: You should sit down.
Gus: On what?
Shawn: The rickshaw.

Shawn: I'm pitching this to sweeten the pot - as we drive across town, we stop at every single Cinnabon.
Gus: I'm listening.
Shawn: We Pandora up a Prince death tribute.
Gus: Shawn, you know Prince isn't really dead.

Gus: Nick, you sound paranoid.
Shawn: Plus you're mixing horizontal and vertical stripes.
Gus: While hiding behind a reindeer and a menorah.
Shawn: It hurts your credibility.
Gus: It's theologically incongruous.

Gus: Listen, tonight's moon is a waxing gibbous and Venus is in retrograde.
[later]
Gus: What did I just say Shawn?
Shawn: I don't know. Something about waxing Leeza Gibbons.

Gus: There is nothing here but wood, pollen, and fruit bats.

Shawn: Gus, don't be the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile.

Shawn: Omigawd, are you playing Pokémon Go?
Gus: You know this is how I manage my stress. I'm trying to hatch a ten kilometer egg and I'm pretty sure there might be a Jigglypuff in there.

Gus: Eris is stupid. Pluto is, has been, and always will be the ninth planet.

Woody: This is called an NBA hug.

Butterfly: [Woody] got fired for closing up a cadaver with a chili dog in the chest cavity.
Woody: Not true, Butterfly. I got fired for opening the cadaver back up to retrieve the chili dog.

Gus: You don't even know me.
Selene: I know all I need to know. You like the sky, your mother, safecracking, a bakery called Boom Boom Boom Muffins.
Gus: That's all on my business card.
Selene: I know when you were eight years old, you won a contest for doing a comic strip about an Egyptian dog that became pharaoh.
Gus: You know about Mesopotamian Pomeranian?
Selene: I wish I would have known you then. I bet you were a dead ringer for Bud on The Cosby Show.
Gus: Look, you can't follow me around, research me, try to kiss me, sniff my head, make me feel uncomfortable-
Shawn: He has literally done all those things since Thanksgiving.
Woody: He's getting Gused. No wonder he doesn't like it.
Gus: And yes, maybe your lips are warm and soft and taste like caramel, but those lips are wrapped in an electric blanket of crazy set to medium high.

Gus: I'm going to keep this fluffernutter sandwich because I think it's rude to waste food.

Shawn: I'm freaking out. What if I'm sleeping with Nick Nolte from Mulholland Falls?
Gus: Then you're really getting the short end of the stick, Mulholland Falls-wise.

Ted: This makes no sense. Why does a psychic operate in the shop from Gremlins?
Shawn: To potentially meet Phoebe Cates.

Shawn: Dad, I specifically told you to dress for dinner, not Adam Levine's funeral.
Gus: Is that scarf tweed?

Billy: Do I look worried? I'm wearing ladies' makeup right now.

Billy: What's this? Does no one think the rules apply to them anymore? Now I've got to call this in on this stupid walkie talkie.
Shawn: Call it in to who?
Billy: Whom. To WHOM. Can someone please explain that to him?

Edited December 10, 2017 by ElectricBoogaloo

[bettername2come]

Shawn: We walked right into that one. It was kinda dope though.

 

Shawn:  Show me your belly button and prove you're my father!

Gus: Some of us are eating!

 

Shawn: You always have my back. Because that's how we do it. We take on these, these crazy obstacles, right? And we come at it together because we are an us, we are a we, we are lovers in the night time.

 

Allison: Duly noted. Can you shut up forever?

Edited December 11, 2017 by bettername2come

[roseha]

My favorite for some reason: 

"Gus, don't make up words!"

[bettername2come]

I'm rewatching The Musical, so may I add:

Gus: I do not sell face cream, Shawn. I sell the drugs that keep you people from seeing dragons at night.

 

And as I continue rewatching, because this one is very relatable: 

Shawn: I don't want to accept it, I just want to be right.

Edited December 15, 2017 by bettername2come

[bettername2come]

Gus's Mom: And how does this differ from that pet baptism business you had as kids?

Shawn: First of all that was an LLC, and I'm the one that let Gus believe that Jesus was black the whole time we were growing up - which of course he is. He is that. That's - he is that.

 

Shawn: My God. We went almost three hours without having an argument. 

Henry: Huh. It's our best holiday in years.

[GHScorpiosRule]

On 12/24/2017 at 0:12 AM, bettername2come said:

Gus's Mom: And how does this differ from that pet baptism business you had as kids?

Her name is Winnie. And Gus's dad is William.

Gus: "Uh, Shawn, can I talk to you for a minute?"

Shawn: Cackling with laughter. "This Guy. Talking about one of us being married. Can you EVEN imagine that? Why aren't you laughing?" (Shawn's laughter dies. "Why aren't you laughing?"

Gus tilts head side to side.

Shawn: "My GOD! You were MARRIED?"

*************************************

*Gus: "Look, I'm sorry. I was wrong for not telling you. But, DUDE, you know when I get married for real, you'll be standing there up on that altar, right next to me; as my Best Man."

Shawn: "Thank you for saying that.  I needed to hear it."

Gus: "You're welcome."

*I already posted this up thread, but it's such a great scene and the emotions so heartfelt. And the dialogue so natural.

**************************************************************************

Shawn: "Duuude!"

Gus: "She just smelled so nice."

Gus looks at Shawn.

Gus: "Don't judge me, Shawn. I'm weak."

*******************************************************

Shawn (emotional and scared): "Gus in in Danger. We have to save Gus! Come on! Alright, I left Mr and Mrs. Gaffney a message, but Gus isn't picking up at all.  Someone give me a gun."

Jules and Lassie: "No."

Shawn explains how Jan was a con man, and Mace his partner, killed him and was now going to kill Gus.

Shawn: "SOMEBODY GIVE ME A GUN!!!"

Jules and Lassie: "No!"

Shawn: "Then Drive faster! That's my best friend In there!"

Me: Great example of how much Shawn loves Gus, when the chips are down.

"There's Something About Mira."

[rejnel]

Vick: I'M THE CHIEF OF POLICE.

Big Wendy: And I"m the Chief of Making Bitches Do Shots.

[slf]

Shawn, Gus, and Mary are going to see Yang in an institution and they have to wear white onesies that cover even their heads:

Gus: Why are we wearing these?
Nurse/guard: They're a preventative measure, she gets overstimulated by color.
Gus: What about my face?!

Edited April 21, 2018 by slf

[GHScorpiosRule]

Shawn: “Remember when I asked you what you should do when you think your partner is wrong? What do you do when you know they are?”

Henry: “That’s simple. You tell them the truth. But in the most respectful way possible.”

***

Shawn waiting for Gus to get out of his ?.

Shawn: “You were wrong! WRONG!WRONG!WRONG! WRONG!WRONG!WRONG! Finger gun PSHHU! Wrong! PSHHU! Wrong! PSHHU! Wrong! PSHHU!”

Me:?????????????

”The Devil is in the Details.”