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Small Talk: Ughngnggh! Ugghhnnn!

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I was born an Army brat.  My father got out of the military not too long after I was born, but he had a touch of The Great Santini about him; part of his time in service had been as a drill sergeant, and it took him a while to shake that loose - one of the reasons why to this day I respond as quickly to my last name as I do my first, because when I was in trouble I got addressed by surname at something in the neighborhood of 130 dB or so.

Anyway - the earliest bonding experience I remember with my father?  Him spending a few afternoons teaching me the proper way to throw a bayonet.  By the time we were done I could sink a bayonet into a tree better than an inch deep from an 8-10’ range or so, about three different ways.  I was 5 at the time.  That was kinda our relationship’s version of playing “catch”.  🙂

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6 hours ago, Nashville said:

I was born an Army brat.  My father got out of the military not too long after I was born, but he had a touch of The Great Santini about him; part of his time in service had been as a drill sergeant, and it took him a while to shake that loose - one of the reasons why to this day I respond as quickly to my last name as I do my first, because when I was in trouble I got addressed by surname at something in the neighborhood of 130 dB or so.

Anyway - the earliest bonding experience I remember with my father?  Him spending a few afternoons teaching me the proper way to throw a bayonet.  By the time we were done I could sink a bayonet into a tree better than an inch deep from an 8-10’ range or so, about three different ways.  I was 5 at the time.  That was kinda our relationship’s version of playing “catch”.  🙂

Is it safe to assume that your dad wouldn't care if you had the outdoor game Jarts? 

Some of the things that my parents let me have as a kid were a heckuva lot more dangerous than Jarts (lawn darts).   They wouldn't let me have Jarts.

I remember my dad dragging me into a smoke filled bowling alley on Friday night's so he could play in his league.   The bowling alley smelled like cigarette, cigar, and pipe, smoke.  I have never smoked in my life, but I have breathed in enough second hand smoke in my lifetime to choke a horse.   The stench of stale beer was also evident.

Edited by icemiser69
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7 hours ago, Nashville said:

My father got out of the military not too long after I was born, but he had a touch of The Great Santini about him;

"Shut your yaps and police this place up, sports fans!"?  Sorry to hear that, Nashville. I read the book and then saw the movie.😱

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20 minutes ago, AngelaHunter said:

"Shut your yaps and police this place up, sports fans!"?  Sorry to hear that, Nashville. I read the book and then saw the movie.😱

No worries.  Pa wasn’t 100% full-blown “Bull”-ish - especially not the drinking - but it took him a little while to adjust to life outside the constraints of military expectations and norms, and the drill sergeant discipline and behaviors took a LONG time to shake loose.  Also probably didn’t help that his only son was a four-eyed liberal intellectual with a big brain and even bigger mouth (yeah, we got those in the South too).  😄

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I once thought I was pregnant when I was 6-7, not sure how funny that is. But I have a sister who is 15 years older than me and when she had a baby my mom told us how babies were made. I played "war" with my friend Regina's brother and he was rescuing us and we were POW's and we got ambushed. So he threw me on the ground and covered me. So I thought I was pregnant because a boy was on top of me. I was not the brightest bulb in the box.

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So, I am in the hospital having blood tests done.  They gave me a drink with a plastic straw in it.  So,  I casual said to the older nurse thinking nothing of it other than to make conversation and that I would get a chuckle from her, with the millennial age nurse present, "So when are you going to ban plastic straws?"  

The older nurse said they  (the hospital) were working on it.    The millennial nurse was panicking, saying that she can't wait.  I thought she was going to pass out from hyperventilation or have to run home and pet her therapy dog.

I don't know what is happening to the younger folks as they head through the school system, but by the time most of them graduate, most of them are probably going to need to be "deprogrammed" and have a great deal of therapy after that.

When I was in school I didn't buy into all of the bullshit that teachers were spouting.   I had an open mind and listened to all sides.   I thought that is what school was for.  Apparently there is only one side now on any given issue, heaven forbid if anyone is on the wrong side of it.    Sadly, if they are, they are immediately shunned by most of the younger folks.

Edited by icemiser69
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On 2/22/2019 at 3:01 PM, icemiser69 said:

Any funny or interesting moments from your childhood?

I was a little kid running around the yard barefoot.  I stepped on a bee and was stung in the process.  I was bawling like a baby.   So, my oldest sibling walks up to me and says, "imagine how the bee feels".

I stuck a cigarette filter up my nose and ate a poisonous plant.  Then I carried a dead hawk around for an afternoon.

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1 hour ago, Mu Shu said:

I stuck a cigarette filter up my nose and ate a poisonous plant.  Then I carried a dead hawk around for an afternoon.

All on the same day? 😉

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10 hours ago, Mu Shu said:

I stuck a cigarette filter up my nose and ate a poisonous plant.  Then I carried a dead hawk around for an afternoon.

9 hours ago, Nashville said:

All on the same day? 😉

My exact same reaction! Damn Lassie would have had a time with you! "Where's Timmy? He fell in a volcano? He was juggling scorpions? on a pogo stick?!"

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52 minutes ago, nachomama said:

My exact same reaction! Damn Lassie would have had a time with you! "Where's Timmy? He fell in a volcano? He was juggling scorpions? on a pogo stick?!"

Swear to god - when I read that, my reaction was exactly the same as the very last guy in this:

https://youtu.be/94wGndbOIPk

🤣🤣🤣

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2 hours ago, Nashville said:

Swear to god - when I read that, my reaction was exactly the same as the very last guy in this:

https://youtu.be/94wGndbOIPk

🤣🤣🤣

You’uns are mean, I was an extremely active child.  

The poison plant and filter were on the same day.  The hawk happened after.

then I tied my annoying cousin to a chair and made her sit in oyster shells.  My other cousin had a more sinister plan for her, so that was the compromise. 

She had snitched on us, so we were showing her what we were gonna did.  Little punk she was.  

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Is there a forum for Ride w/ Norman Reedus? I searched and searched and can't locate one. But it could also be user error.

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1 hour ago, theredhead77 said:

Is there a forum for Ride w/ Norman Reedus? I searched and searched and can't locate one. But it could also be user error.

I looked, and I couldn't find one either.  I am sorry I wasn't more helpful to you.

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Interesting moments? I do vaguely remember  - I was maybe three - putting a doorknob in my mouth and then probably turning blue because I couldn't breathe. I ran to my mother who grabbed me by the ankles, turned me upsidedown and shook me. It worked.

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5 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

Is there a forum for Ride w/ Norman Reedus? I searched and searched and can't locate one. But it could also be user error.

No, I've never seen one here, even in the previous version of the forums. I looked when the first season was on. 

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11 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

Is there a forum for Ride w/ Norman Reedus? I searched and searched and can't locate one. But it could also be user error.

Ask the Mod if they can set one up, they did say to let them know if we had any show requests.

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On ‎02‎/‎27‎/‎2019 at 12:39 PM, Mu Shu said:

You’uns are mean, I was an extremely active child.  

The poison plant and filter were on the same day.  The hawk happened after.

then I tied my annoying cousin to a chair and made her sit in oyster shells.  My other cousin had a more sinister plan for her, so that was the compromise. 

She had snitched on us, so we were showing her what we were gonna did.  Little punk she was.  

Are you currently employed by the mob? You growed up scary. I'm quite skurred of you.

Every year my niece would come visit in the summer and we somehow always ended up wounding her in some fashion. One year we were playing circus games and basically tumbling the small children. We were laying down with our knees up and the little kids would climb on and we would "buck" them like the rodeo or then we learned how to flip them through the air. and of course we sprained her arm. We wrecked her on the her bike. One year after vacation bible school we were tooling around on a little Honda 75 motorcycle, maybe 1 step above a mo-ped and she was singing the vacation bible school songs and dancing. I told her that she can't dance because she was jerking the bike back and forth and the next thing you know, we went SPLAT! She was fine, got up and we were laughing then a humongous torrent of blood gushed out of her head. She screamed and ran and ditched me,  I had to push the bike home. By the time I got there my mother and various neighbors were patching her up. It was a minor scratch but apparently your noggin bleeds like a mofo and she was more scared than anything but holy hell did I get in trouble. To this day I catch hell about the time I gave her massive headwound (the scar is very small)

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This reminds me of another story involving the niece. My mother was a fascinating (completely nutso) woman who in 30 some odd years of driving had never mastered the art of downshifting. My father insisted we always had a stick shift, no automatic transmissions for us. So my mother took us swimming and we were driving home, my niece was in my lap in the front seat and my mom was driving on the frontage road, and she was behind a little old man going slow. So my mom tried to pass him, only she has never learned that you can't gain speed in 5th gear. So we see a car on the horizon. We alert my mother because even though we are like 8-9 years old we know she cray cray needs all the help she can get. So we alert her again and my niece jumps into the back seat and buckles up. We notice there are lights on top of the car. We said, "mom that's a cop, drop back" My mothers only response to all of this was "I can make it" so eventually she runs the cop off the road and swings around and very calmly approaches the vehicle. "ma'am, do you realize we nearly had a head on collision?" and she says "I thought I could make it" . he gave her a $50 ticket which she paid immediately so my dad would never find out. this was also the day she bought the Madonna nekkid playboy issue cuz she wanted to see what the fuss was about. So she bought a magazine, looked at Madonna naked and saw she had hairy armpits and said she was not impressed then gave the magazine to some teenagers.

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14 hours ago, Superclam said:

No school tomorrow. Daddy still has to work though. 😥

When I was a kid, schools weren't canceled until the early morning of the day of school.  That really sucked.  If I had known that school would be cancelled the previous night, I wouldn't have to go to bed so early.

There was that one time when schools were cancelled so late, that all of the kids showed up at the bus stop for a bus that wasn't coming.  We were there freezing our butts off for a good half hour until some motorist stopped and told us that school had been cancelled.  It was so damn cold, my balls still haven't dropped.

These days, anytime someone sneezes on the road, schools are cancelled for a week.

Edited by icemiser69
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It's ridiculous, because there's about 3 inches of slush on the ground. Buses and subways are working. 

And yes, I'm going with "when I was a kid," but when I was a kid, I think they cancelled school due to snow twice in my 13 years of pre-college education.  

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I only vaguely remember a few snow days and now one of my childhood bff's works for the schools back home and she's always posting 2 hour delays and school's cancelled notices and I was like "damn, do you ever go to work?" Seems like we had 2 maybe, tops, because I know if you hit like 5 you have to have make up days and we never ever ever ever had make up days.

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On 3/4/2019 at 2:55 PM, nachomama said:

I only vaguely remember a few snow days and now one of my childhood bff's works for the schools back home and she's always posting 2 hour delays and school's cancelled notices and I was like "damn, do you ever go to work?" Seems like we had 2 maybe, tops, because I know if you hit like 5 you have to have make up days and we never ever ever ever had make up days.

We usually had quite a few snow days, but it always did stink that once you hit a certain number that days were added to the end of the school year.

Edited by icemiser69

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When I was a kid, my biggest dream was to live in my own apartment and melt a pound of butter and eat it with a spoon. 

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On 2/22/2019 at 12:01 PM, icemiser69 said:

Any funny or interesting moments from your childhood?

My Mum used to drag me out to all sorts of places late at night when I was a wee one.  Long before he became my stepdaddy, but long after he stole my soul, Mum followed him one night with me in tow (of course).  We ended up parked somewhere watching his car, and she tried her best to make me hide on the floorboards of his back seat, and instructed me to pop up and say "HI, Daddy" once he drove away with his paramour.  She tried to assure me she'd be following right behind, and that he wouldn't kill me, and even promised me White Spot if I complied.  I did not.  And never held it against her.  He made everyone around him crazy - he was that fucking evil.

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1 hour ago, Mu Shu said:

When I was a kid, my biggest dream was to live in my own apartment and melt a pound of butter and eat it with a spoon.

OH, god - couldn't wait to get my own place (unlike today's youth, who hunker on Mommy's sofa til a court order is issued for them to get their asses out of there). The butter was also a dream since we only ever had margarine at home, but what I really wanted to do was cook a pound of bacon and eat the whole damned thing.

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3 hours ago, icemiser69 said:

We usually had quite a few snow days, but it always did stink that once you hit a certain number, days were added to the end of the school year.

That happened here during Hurricane Sandy - President's week was taken away! 

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1 hour ago, AngelaHunter said:

OH, god - couldn't wait to get my own place (unlike today's youth, who hunker on Mommy's sofa til a court order is issued for them to get their asses out of there). The butter was also a dream since we only ever had margarine at home, but what I really wanted to do was cook a pound of bacon and eat the whole damned thing.

Come to my house.  We will melt the butter with cheese, bacon, and Tabasco and eat it with a spoon. 

It really burns my biscuits when dumbasses  at work hope for a hurricane to get off work.  Like it’s fun to be in 94 degrees with no ac and nowhere to go and a bunch of fucking trees to chop up.  Then your old, loud Cuban cousin shows up to play dominoes, eat all the food, and demand you fetch water from the pool to flush the toilet.  And bitch about Fidel Castro.  Who is dead.

Edited by Mu Shu
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14 hours ago, Mu Shu said:

It really burns my biscuits when dumbasses  at work hope for a hurricane to get off work.  Like it’s fun to be in 94 degrees with no ac and nowhere to go and a bunch of fucking trees to chop up.

It does seem a mite self-centered to hope for a disaster so you can get some time off work. Heh.

14 hours ago, Mu Shu said:

Then your old, loud Cuban cousin shows up to play dominoes, eat all the food, and demand you fetch water from the pool to flush the toilet.  And bitch about Fidel Castro.  Who is dead.

🤣🤣🤣

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I do recall rolling up pieces of bread, squishing them into tight little balls and eating them, now I think "how gummy was that?" and also taking a bite out of the stick of butter, which has been established was margarine. blech also salad with Miracle whip which does underneath say "salad dressing" which was how my dad liked to eat salad so I tried to be like him. His idea of salad was literally a bowl of lettuce with Miracle whip on it. so yeah...gross.

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One thing that has held up from childhood. cheesetoast, sliced bread with a slice of cheese under the broiler. I love the bubble. I eat the bubble you can keep the toast. :D

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On 3/4/2019 at 8:07 PM, Mu Shu said:

Come to my house.  We will melt the butter with cheese, bacon, and Tabasco and eat it with a spoon. 

It really burns my biscuits when dumbasses  at work hope for a hurricane to get off work.  Like it’s fun to be in 94 degrees with no ac and nowhere to go and a bunch of fucking trees to chop up.  Then your old, loud Cuban cousin shows up to play dominoes, eat all the food, and demand you fetch water from the pool to flush the toilet.  And bitch about Fidel Castro.  Who is dead.

Sounds like you have good premise for a sitcom.

Edited by icemiser69
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36 minutes ago, nachomama said:

One thing that has held up from childhood. cheesetoast, sliced bread with a slice of cheese under the broiler. I love the bubble. I eat the bubble you can keep the toast. :D

We used to do that.  We called it an open-faced sandwich. We would put the toast under the broiler until brown.  Take it out of the oven, flip it over and put mayo, tomato, cooked bacon, and cheese on it.   We would then put it back under the broiler to let the cheese melt.  Now when I make it, I use vegetarian bacon.

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We had mayo and lettuce sandwiches and also sometimes ketchup.  Let me tell you that sucked.  

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1 hour ago, nachomama said:

His idea of salad was literally a bowl of lettuce with Miracle whip on it. so yeah...gross.

Yeah. That's the only salad we had when I was a kid - and the lettuce was only ever iceberg -  but if we were very lucky we'd sometimes get a slice of tomato in it. Or onions. I hate raw onions to this day.

My mother used to eat mashed potato sandwiches but never could I go there.

5 minutes ago, Mu Shu said:

We had mayo and lettuce sandwiches and also sometimes ketchup.  Let me tell you that sucked.

You're lucky you got the lettuce and ketchup. We only got the mayo.  You're just trying to be all high and mighty (an expression from a Judge Judy litigant to express her disdain for people who work for a living).

21 hours ago, Mu Shu said:

Come to my house.  We will melt the butter with cheese, bacon, and Tabasco and eat it with a spoon. 

Oh, gawd - I'm there. Now I think I have to put on my longjohns, socks, boots, scarf, hat, coat and mittens and go buy bacon. 😮

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16 hours ago, Mu Shu said:

We had mayo and lettuce sandwiches and also sometimes ketchup.  Let me tell you that sucked

For me, ketchup and lettuce just don't go together.  Yuck.  Mayo all the way. 

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23 hours ago, AngelaHunter said:

My mother used to eat mashed potato sandwiches but never could I go there.

There is no doubt I would get all bound up eating that.

Kind of reminds of that old joke.  How did the constipated mathematics professor solve his problem?

With a #2 pencil.

I used to eat cream cheese and jelly sandwiches.

We also used to have for breakfast hot popovers with butter and jelly.

Edited by icemiser69

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We had baloney and ketchup sammiches. hurl.

I did go to a girl's house once and they made "dip" for chips and it was mayo, mustard and ketchup swirled and I could barely contain my stomach contents. I understand that it's basically thousand island but I don't have to see it made so that was a new one on me.

Yes, it was only iceberg lettuce as a child. Never heard of no fancy romaine, and we never died from the lettuce neither! I'm very basic, salad now can be any combination of lettuceseses, letteese? Letti? anywho, I adore a tomato, there's a special pointy cherry tomato that is especially tasty, cheese of some sort, preferably a very sharp cheddar, some croutons, some bacon, I'll throw in carrots or broccoli if I've got it. (I don't care for cucumber, I say it's a non food, it has no taste, if it comes with a salad I'll take it but I'm not spending my money on a non-food) I do enjoy possibly some grilled chicken in the salad and avocado when it's perfect. I say I've moved light years beyond the lettuce and miracle whip but it's still just your basic salad.

My sister makes a salad that I do not care for, it's basically got everything but the kitchen sink in it. Pepperoni. (blech) she won't eat cooked vegetables but she'll eat anything raw so this thing will have jicama, broccoli, cauliflower, sunflower seeds, onions, cabbage, carrots. It's like $94 to make a salad.

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Lunch boxes.  When you went to school did you use one?  If you did, who was on the box?

 I had two of them

"The Wild, WIld, West"

The thermos broke when my mom took the thermos which was meant for cold drinks only, and put hot soup in it for my sibling to take to work,

The other Lunch box I had was "Pebbles and Bamm Bamm". 

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4 hours ago, Nashville said:

Tater dogs.  Nuff said.

not nearly nuff said. Is this like a tater tot-dog?

I never liked beenie weenies...I don't like corn dogs. My pops used to make some kind of "pigs in a blanket" that was his corn bread but his corn bread was yucko. As in it was just corn meal and hot water, mash it into a round disk and deep fry it. So when he made pigs in a blanket we just dug out the pig and tossed out the blanket

I inherited a Vinnie Barbarino thermos, not the lunch box which had worn out but had the thermos. I believe I had Scooby and the gang. Charlie Brown I'm pretty sure. My sister had Garfield.

Edited by nachomama

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I definitely had a Peanuts lunchbox. The sheet metal kind. I vaguely recall an H.R. Puffinstuff lunchbox that I got as a hand-me-down. 

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I enjoyed HR Puffenstuff but even as a child I knew that was some fucked up shit, yo. Witchie Poo and the kid with the flute scared me equally. The child catcher in Chitty, Chitty, Bang, Bang was the scariest thing every to me.

I loved the claymation christmas specials, loved Riki Tiki Tavi, loved Godzilla movies. Puff the Magic Dragon. I used to race into the room to watch the Carol Burnett cartoon, I thought the whole show was just the cartoon cleaning woman that was the credits. Once again, I was not a bright child.

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57 minutes ago, nachomama said:

The child catcher in Chitty, Chitty, Bang, Bang was the scariest thing every to me.

Holy. Shit. So terrifying. 

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8 hours ago, icemiser69 said:

Lunch boxes.  When you went to school did you use one?  If you did, who was on the box?

 I had two of them

"The Wild, WIld, West"

The thermos broke when my mom took the thermos which was meant for cold drinks only, and put hot soup in it for my sibling to take to work,

The other Lunch box I had was "Pebbles and Bamm Bamm". 

I had two of the sheet-metal ones as well.  

  1. First one was “The Partridge Family”.  The box was painted up like the bus, and actually looked pretty cool.  The thermos, though, had some truly horrifically distorted pictures of the cast - they looked like the Partridge Family got fucked by some aliens, and these mutants were the result.  
  2. Second one was “Hot Wheels” - and I think that bitch is actually still sitting up in an attic somewhere.
8 hours ago, nachomama said:

not nearly nuff said. Is this like a tater tot-dog?

Nope; think like a chili dog, but with mashed potatoes instead of chili.  Potatoes were much cheaper, especially if you grew your own.

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ok, tater dog is new to me. I guess weenies, of the beanie and skettios variety were the go-to protein for children.

We usually got the knock off or off brand lunch boxes and toys. Like my Barbie was an unofficial Barbie, and at some point a "home-made" cabbage patch kid which was ugly as sin. Not home-made like my mother made it but some lady in town made them and my mother bought one. We weren't getting the name brand toys. We didn't get a "light bright" but some kind of peg board and we just punched random holes in paper, no pre-made designs. I did get Donnie and Marie Barbies at one point. Santa brought them although there was a note from Santa that Marie didn't make it on the sleigh xmas eve so she could be picked up in town at the western auto store after xmas :D

And hoo boy Donnie and Marie made out a lot because I wasn't quite clear on the brother/sister relationship, I thought they were married. so they had babies and everything. My father did have questions when all the male barbies were walking around with no pants. Basically the first time you bent them over to have them sit on the furniture (couches and beds were made out of maxi pads stolen from the bathroom) anyway, the boys all split their pants so they just wandered around with no pants. Donnie had a purple jumpsuit so Donnie was  more naked than the rest. My father was very bothered by this. . 

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On 3/7/2019 at 8:26 AM, Superclam said:

I definitely had a Peanuts lunchbox. The sheet metal kind. I vaguely recall an H.R. Puffinstuff lunchbox that I got as a hand-me-down. 

Mine were made of sheet metal, the problem is that they used to get rusty.

I was kind of embarrassed to have the Pebbles and Bamm Bamm one.  The artwork on The Wild Wild West lunchbox was really cool.

Edited by icemiser69
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