S08.E09: The Lovely Duckling

[MagicEyes]

1 minute ago, Pepper Mostly said:

(nudge) "Hey, Cindy, check it out, I didn't know there was entertainment here!" 

My neighborhood coffee shop is boring. Nothing like this ever happens there. No arguments, no messy breakups. Just coffee. 

[Auntie Anxiety]

Skoochera? Skoocella? Did I get that name right?

[tvrox]

17 minutes ago, Shelbie said:

I made a new gluten free recipe yesterday (my daughter in law has celiac. It was a plum pie. The crust was meringue with crushed almonds. Everyone loved it.

Ooh yum. 

[Pepper Mostly]

1 minute ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Jasmine and Gino. Yeah, not interested.

Same. This is painful. Why is Gino hanging around for this? Go to a movie! Talk a walk! 

[Auntie Anxiety]

Yikes. The pageant director looks like the makeup artist thought s/he was working at a morgue.

[AR Traveler]

1 minute ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Same. This is painful. Why is Gino hanging around for this? Go to a movie! Talk a walk! 

Us, or Gino?

[magemaud]

2 minutes ago, Pepper Mostly said:

One of my ancestors (great grandfather on my dad's side) was known as "Contrary Joe" Davis.  

My eight times great grandmother was named “Experience Quackenbush.” I wish I had known about her when I named my daughters 
 

[Pepper Mostly]

1 minute ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Skoochera? Skoocella? Did I get that name right?

I don't know, but her frozen face is frightening me. 

[Shelbie]

Jasmine is again trying to suck all the oxygen out of the room.

[Pepper Mostly]

1 minute ago, AR Traveler said:

Us, or Gino?

Yes. 

[magemaud]

These women are all paid to say nice things about Jasmine. 
“Sparkle, baby!”

[Auntie Anxiety]

Wonder how much Sharp had to pay the contestants at the workshop. Or maybe they did it for free, just for the non-existent exposure.

[MagicEyes]

Just now, magemaud said:

These women are all paid to say nice things about Jasmine. 
“Sparkle, baby!”

Get it, girl!

And don't forget...

Pretty hands, pretty feet!

[tvrox]

25 minutes ago, AR Traveler said:

All yay for me-I finished my ProGen class, a 15-month genealogy class that is a huge step towards preparation for certification.   I turned in my three-generation kinship report last week (in other words, proving relationship from one generation to another).  That was a bear. 

Now I've set a two-year goal of getting both accreditations in genealogy (Certified Genealogist and Accredited Genealogist).  

Go you! That's awesome. 

[Pepper Mostly]

Will Jasmine start wearing a crown and sash everywhere she goes now? 

[Auntie Anxiety]

The butt implants are beginning to sag.

[magemaud]

1 minute ago, MagicEyes said:

Get it, girl!

And don't forget...

Pretty hands, pretty feet!

Gino is slipping her pixie sticks backstage. 

[tvrox]

18 minutes ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Liz: I don’t know what I would do if this is the end of our relationship.

Me: Rejoice? Have a party? Do a jig?

What she should do is spend time with her poor daughter that got dragged into this mess. 

[Auntie Anxiety]

I read an article today about DIY insemination kits that you can buy on Amazon for $99. Sperm sold separately.

[WerWerWer]

Just now, magemaud said:

Gino is slipping her pixie sticks backstage. 

And Red Bull!

[For Cereals]

1 minute ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

I read an article today about DIY insemination kits that you can buy on Amazon for $99. Sperm sold separately.

So you can’t use a turkey baster?

1 minute ago, WerWerWer said:

And Red Bull!

Go go juice 

[Pepper Mostly]

1 minute ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

I read an article today about DIY insemination kits that you can buy on Amazon for $99. Sperm sold separately.

But the kits come with Kyle's contact information. 

[MagicEyes]

5 minutes ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

The butt implants are beginning to sag.

That's going to be a problem when it turns out that costs $5000 to fix. Which will she choose--fix the butt implants, or bring her children to Michigan? 

[Auntie Anxiety]

1 minute ago, For Cereals said:

So you can’t use a turkey baster?

Turkey basters have been known to work. These kits are a little more high tech.

Just now, MagicEyes said:

Which will she choose--fix the butt implants, or bring her children to Michigan? 

Not even close.

[tvrox]

21 minutes ago, MagicEyes said:

Liz is a teeny bit delusional. Ed might eventually be the best version of himself, but that's still going to be not very good. 

More than a teeny bit. 

[Auntie Anxiety]

3 minutes ago, Pepper Mostly said:

But the kits come with Kyle's contact information. 

And you can access his You Tube channel for step-by-step instructions.

[Pepper Mostly]

2 minutes ago, MagicEyes said:

That's going to be a problem when it turns out that costs $5000 to fix. Which will she choose--fix the butt implants, or bring her children to Michigan? 

Oh honey. You know the answer to that. She'll get the implants fixed and whine and cry to Gino that he's keeping her kids from her. 

[Auntie Anxiety]

This is too stupid for words. And I am so fucking bored.

I am 💯percent certain that Patrick isn’t juicing again.

[magemaud]

42 hours into surgery…

[Shelbie]

2 minutes ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

This is too stupid for words. And I am so fucking bored.

I don’t know what you’re specifically talking about but I agree completely.

[magemaud]

Why is it I can watch Dr. Now hacking away at his 600 pound patients and I’m getting queasy watching Loren’s surgery? 

[MagicEyes]

I wonder how much she paid for this cold toast. 

[tvrox]

Wow they let her eat that day? When I had abdominal surgery I couldn't eat for around 4 days. 

[Pepper Mostly]

Didn't Alex bring a book or something? He just sat there looking dumb the whole day? 

[Auntie Anxiety]

Loren decides to get elective surgery that she really didn’t need and then comes to the realization that it wasn’t a walk in the park. I just can’t with these people.

[MagicEyes]

1 minute ago, magemaud said:

Why is it I can watch Dr. Now hacking away at his 600 pound patients and I’m getting queasy watching Loren’s surgery? 

I can't watch Dr. Now do surgery. It gives me the icks.

[Pepper Mostly]

Just now, tvrox said:

Wow they let her eat that day? When I had abdominal surgery I couldn't eat for around 4 days. 

When I had a C section I was def eating food the next day. 

[Tuneful]

On 5/11/2024 at 12:04 PM, goofygirl said:

She's the one who is putting on the beauty pageant "workshop"...  I'm guessing she's also the one who puts ON the actual pageant.  This is seriously the DUMBEST storyline ever.

Cheeno thought he had problems with her before?

They will pale compared to her running with this crowd including to spend like a drunken sailor "because it's what makes me happy." What she needed is therapy, not more perfectionism and triggering about her appearance.

But she's too entitled to listen to therapists.  

[For Cereals]

I had to go the Max route and ffwd through Gino, Jasmine, Loren…I’m almost done.  Just here for the laughs. 🤣

[Pepper Mostly]

He's "starting" to realize the hard part is just beginning? Not too swift, our Alex, is he? 

[magemaud]

Now for the bad news. Loren can’t have sex for three months. 
Oh that damn breathing thing. I always hated that! 

[Tuneful]

44 minutes ago, Pepper Mostly said:

After tonight, I never want to hear the word "surgery" again. 

And she's milking every second of being a victim in this (unnecessary) surgery. 

[Auntie Anxiety]

Sophie always looks like she smelled fart and Rob the Knob checked out weeks ago. And he’s still the victim.

[Suzywriter]

31 minutes ago, Pepper Mostly said:

My husband swears one of his ancestors was a Blackfoot "princess". I roll my eyes and change the subject. And I have had endless fun debunking the Ellis Island name change thing. 

One of my ancestors (great grandfather on my dad's side) was known as "Contrary Joe" Davis. You have no idea how much joy that brings me. 

We had 'Stracted Henry' in my family. This proves that my ADHD was unavoidable.

Edited May 13, 2024 by Suzywriter

[Tuneful]

1 hour ago, xls said:

We're just not used to looking at naturally aged women;

I think Emily's Mom, e.g., is aging naturally and beautifully and would have a whole lot more credibility than this scary scarecrow lady. 

[Auntie Anxiety]

I really don’t want to think about Rob rubbing the knob.

[MagicEyes]

It would be a twist if this ended up with Sophie becoming a bodybuilder. She and Patrick could be Tell All buddies!

[Suzywriter]

Sophie's head is wrong for her neck.

[Tuneful]

It's a tossup for me who's the bigger pair of idiots, Knob and Sopee or PrEd and Whiz. 

[Pepper Mostly]

Jesus fuck Rob is such a fucking asshole. "You want me to say something nice to you right now? (heavy sigh) FINE."