S11.E13: Jax Attack

[chlban]

19 hours ago, politichick said:

Yeah, when I saw her applying fucking mascara to the girl's lashes, I was, like, What?!? That is so stupid. She'll be wearing lippie next. So stupid.

Ally and James sleeping with animals? Not a pet person, so I don't get it. And even if I were, my bed would be off limits

Brittany sleeps with Jax so there are definitely worse things.

[chlban]

13 hours ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

What is Scheana claiming? If Sandoval could cheat on Ariana with Rachquel, this destroyed her trust in her loved ones. She now worries that Brock would cheat on her with Lala? That seems like a stretch to me.

Scheana always has to make everything about her. Sometimes it requires real mental gymnastics but, in the end, she will find a way.

[hoodooznoodooz]

Spoiler

Jax might be cheating on Brittany with their publicist, Lori. (Brittany unfollowed both.)

 

Apparently a lot of Vanderpump individuals pay the same publicist. 

Edited April 25 by hoodooznoodooz

[Mahamid Frauded Me]

1 hour ago, JenE4 said:

I think Lisa is bitter that they’re using “her show” as a platform to spin off “Jax’s show” that she has nothing to do with. I’m assuming she’s likely pissed about him getting another show on Bravo after probably being happy he was fired from her show. She’s so superfluous that she can’t even prevent Bravo from bringing Jax back into her place of business to spin off his new show.

I believe Lisa is actually a producer on The Valley, so more scripted drama

[AnnieBananie]

Re: Scheana putting makeup on her toddler - I think that Scheana is the kind of parent who can't wait to be friends with her kid. 

[hoodooznoodooz]

5 hours ago, lasu said:

Accurate.

Also accurate, lol.

I actually think this is way smarter of Jax than what Tom & Tom did.  He's just putting his name on something without putting any money in, from what I understand.  It's just another form of a paid endorsement, he's got nothing to lose.  (Though I agree with the larger point that he's accomplished nothing.) (And yet still seems to have way more than me, lol.)

Hahaha!!

[farmgal4]

17 hours ago, dancingdreamer said:

It's awful  to admit,  but I had the same anxiety  leaving  my dog, that James does. We did go away, but I had anxiety. I needed updates. 

Omg Jax is so creepy  looking,  between  his  greasy hair and botoxed face, eww just so  creepy. He was on  something  before  he started drinking. Scheana  needs help, I dont  think she actually  applied any makeup  to her daughter,  I rewound  it, the mascara  didn't  touch her eyes.

 Anyway,  she's  super anxious about leaving her daughter, I don't  think she can blame Sandoval  for that. Scheana  and Brock,  need therapy. 

Katie was smiling this episode, I don't  particularly  like her, but everything  she said about Jax was true. Schwartz don't move in with Sandoval,  cute tattoo of your dogs! 

 

Eta: Someone  had a photo  on X, it was play makeup Scheana  used.

Jax looks like a low budget porn actor.  I would cringe if he laid so much as a finger on me.  Just yuck.

[Sweet-tea]

21 hours ago, politichick said:

Scheana also powdered Summer's face. What the fuck?!? She is nuts.

She's a narcissist using her child as a prop. Her daughter is an extension of her vs. being her own being. I feel sad for Summer's future. It will only get worse. 

[farmgal4]

14 hours ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

What do we think was coursing through Jax’s veins when he impregnated Brittany?

I like to know who he’s fantasizing about when he screws her because I don’t think he’s physically attracted to her AT ALL.

[Sweet-tea]

13 hours ago, Chatty Cake said:

What the hell is wrong with Brock not making a relationship happen with his older children? If he’s just sitting around while Sheana earns the checks then why can’t he make an effort with his kids?

I wondered about this too. It could be that either the ex doesn't want him to see his children or they don't want to see him. I don't know how old they are, but at a certain age they can choose. One of his comments implied that the children weren't interested in a relationship with him. 

When they kept showing Jax as "former SUR employee" I was reminded of how much this show has change now that no one works at the restaurant. I kind of agree with Jax (although I loathe him) that Lisa isn't really needed and is more of a prop. 

Or they should recast the show with younger people who are all working at the restaurant. 

20 hours ago, princelina said:

What on earth did Brittany have done to her face?  Her mouth is in permanent frownie face!

I've never thought she was very attractive and over the years she has become less so to me. The breast implants, facial work and whatever else is going on. I'm surprised she and Jax got their own show. I find them both super annoying. 

Edited April 24 by Sweet-tea

[hoodooznoodooz]

Ben said someone reviewed SUR. I think the host seated that person and a friend at a table. There were two glasses filled with water and some ice. They each drank some water. A waiter came over and told them that those two glasses were there from the two guests who had dined at that table earlier.

[Marigold66]

10 hours ago, JenE4 said:

I think Lisa is bitter that they’re using “her show” as a platform to spin off “Jax’s show” that she has nothing to do with. I’m assuming she’s likely pissed about him getting another show on Bravo after probably being happy he was fired from her show. She’s so superfluous that she can’t even prevent Bravo from bringing Jax back into her place of business to spin off his new show.

Lisa is an executive producer for The Valley so I think this is all on act on her part.  In the end, she knows Jax will shoot himself in the foot because c'mon... this is Jax we're talking about lol. 🤣

Edited to add I didn't see that @Mahamid Frauded Me already stated the same about Lisa til just now!  And as for Brittany and her perpetual frown face, I heard that she got a chin liposuction or something of that nature 3 weeks before "The Valley" started filming.  The plastic surgeon said she should be fine before that commenced but that obviously didn't end up being the case.  I always ride the line between wanting to laud a woman's choices to do what she wants with her face/body with judgement on what I deem "too much" (not proud of this!) but damn, can I just say she was a beautiful girl naturally and I feel like Jax just fed into her insecurities!  

Edited April 25 by Marigold66

[hoodooznoodooz]

2 hours ago, Sweet-tea said:

I've never thought she was very attractive and over the years she has become less so to me. The breast implants, facial work and whatever else is going on. I'm surprised she and Jax got their own show. I find them both super annoying. 

I am shocked that they gave Jax and Brittany their own show. I always thought their relationship and their scenes on VPR were the most boring. I used to think her accent was cute, but she’s really leaning into it these days. It sounds like she’s doing a parody of herself. I think because of Scandoval, Jax and Brittany’s podcast saw a lot of action? I dunno. 
I am also surprised that he agreed to have a child with her. 

[farmgal4]

4 hours ago, AnnieBananie said:

Re: Scheana putting makeup on her toddler - I think that Scheana is the kind of parent who can't wait to be friends with her kid. 

At some point in time, I predict that she’ll be jealous of Summer.

[hoodooznoodooz]

27 minutes ago, farmgal4 said:

At some point in time, I predict that she’ll be jealous of Summer.

I predict that she’ll attempt to flirt with Summer’s boyfriends. Especially if Brock divorces her.

[IntrovertRed]

People HAVE heard of toy makeup, right?  Scheana may be dim, but I knew she wasn’t using real mascara, etc, on her toddler.

Scheana does realize that that there are other meds she can try if Zoloft made her tired? Did she try taking at night?  I think if her OCD was so bad, she should continue to try other medications. It took me several months to learn what helped me with depression. It’s not a one and done. Hearing that was frustrating. So that must be why she’s resistant to a nanny, she’s afraid of living ‘The Hand that Rocks the Cradle’?

Too much Jax. One show is enough (I hate that I’m enjoying The Valley, in spite of him/Brit).

Loved less Lala though. 

I really think Ariana has handled herself great his season, and laughed when she noped out of talking to Scheana when she started talking to Sandoval. 

Who knew getting divorced would finally see Tom and Katie getting along so well. 

Are all these people saving money for when this show ends and their bars close?

Edited April 25 by IntrovertRed

[princelina]

7 hours ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

For the sake of arguing, would LVP want us to know what Jax said about her on a podcast? 

Sure - because she thinks she's so great and it gives her the chance to discuss her second favorite topic after genitals - "what I've done for you!" 😄

7 hours ago, lasu said:

If Lisa actually showed up to Sur that day with no idea Jax was filming an event there, I'd actually lose more respect for her, because that would mean she knows far less about her businesses than I ever suspected, and that her staff would book someone who talks shit about her behind her back.  It's weird - the story she's selling makes her look worse than reality, which (IMO) is that she doesn't actually care if Jax is there or not, and she is just showing up for work and to collect checks.

IMO she's looked like a bad business owner for all of the years that she refused to fire Jax.  Now of course we know it was because of the show, but it didn't make her look like the "scary boss bitch" she wanted us to think she was.

44 minutes ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

I am shocked that they gave Jax and Brittany their own show. 
I am also surprised that he agreed to have a child with her. 

Since they referred to their method of birth control as "spray and pray" he didn't have to actually agree to it 😄

[hoodooznoodooz]

Lala imitating Sandoval sounded like Kramer after Novocain.

[hoodooznoodooz]

Unprecedented? No one bullied/excluded new girl Ally. Everyone welcomed her into the group. She was on WWHL, on her own, in the “best chair,” without James propping her up.

She babbles on with her hippy-dippy astrology, and no one disrespects this the way Stassi scoffed at Rachquel’s Puppy Shower. 
 

She’s stealth with the singing pursuits.
 

She may have targeted James at one of his gigs a couple years ago, but the relationship seems to have evolved into something real. On WWHL, she defended James’s loyalty to Hippie vs. loyalty to her. She insisted that James often prioritizes her over everyone. 

Edited April 26 by hoodooznoodooz

[hoodooznoodooz]

How cute was Summer reading/looking at her book while Scheana and Brittany were discussing Brock’s and Jax’s delicate He-Man Egos.

”Puppy. Puppy.”

Edited April 26 by hoodooznoodooz

[TattleTeeny]

On 4/24/2024 at 5:38 AM, hoodooznoodooz said:

Schwartz’s tattoo stencil looked like he leaned against something.

 

 

It looked normal to me. Most stencils for portraits look like a mess of lines. To be honest, that tattoo came out better than I expected, based on the other tattoos I’ve seen on Bravo shows.

Edited April 25 by TattleTeeny

[Bossa Nova]

On 4/23/2024 at 10:38 PM, choclatechip45 said:

I don't understand why Scheana would ever want to be friends again with Sandoval.

Short answer:

The show. 

Need to interact

Plot lines, etc.

The show equals income. $$$$$$

 

Per the great Dame Brian Moylan, who has blogged about all of the Housewives' shows for years, plus many other Bravo shows:

Remember, its always about the show.

[Katie W]

22 hours ago, lasu said:

I actually think this is way smarter of Jax than what Tom & Tom did.  He's just putting his name on something without putting any money in, from what I understand.  It's just another form of a paid endorsement, he's got nothing to lose. 

Yeah it's like Lisa's restaraunts in Vegas.  She doesn't actually own her spot in Paris hotel. I went there for drinks and one of the bartenders said she just has her name on it.  Most "celebrity chefs" have deals like that in Vegas. 

[Sweet-tea]

20 hours ago, farmgal4 said:

At some point in time, I predict that she’ll be jealous of Summer.

It saddens me to say that I agree, because I experienced this growing up with a narcissistic mother. I never wanted to be in competition with my mother. I just wanted her to love me. 

[princelina]

13 hours ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

Unprecedented? No one bullied/excluded new girl Ally.

I think they mostly bullied new girls who worked at Sur.  Brittany didn't get bullied but she started out at Hooters 😄. And "Lala" started the Raquel bullying because she wanted James to like her best, and others let it ride because they hated James.  Who is now the #1 guy of the group!  (Sorry Jax, Tom and Tom! 😂)

[Sweet-tea]

20 hours ago, IntrovertRed said:

Too much Jax. One show is enough (I hate that I’m enjoying The Valley, in spite of him/Brit).

I tried. I only last 15 minutes. Too much for me. 

20 hours ago, IntrovertRed said:

really think Ariana has handled herself great his season, and laughed when she noped out of talking to Scheana when she started talking to Sandoval. 

I think she handled herself well this episode, but not for the whole season. JMO though. 

[farmgal4]

3 minutes ago, Sweet-tea said:

It saddens me to say that I agree, because I experienced this growing up with a narcissistic mother. I never wanted to be in competition with my mother. I just wanted her to love me. 

I’m so sorry.  My heart is hurting for you.  I wish I could give you a hug right now. 😢

[farmgal4]

17 minutes ago, princelina said:

I think they mostly bullied new girls who worked at Sur.  Brittany didn't get bullied but she started out at Hooters 😄. And "Lala" started the Raquel bullying because she wanted James to like her best, and others let it ride because they hated James.  Who is now the #1 guy of the group!  (Sorry Jax, Tom and Tom! 😂)

Lala is an instigator/trouble maker.  She thrives on that.

[hoodooznoodooz]

At SUR, after James asks everyone over to his house for a pool party.

Did you guys catch Lala saying, “Wait. I have to call my husband, and find out if I can go.” She pretends to hold a phone. Brock doesn’t miss a beat. He pretends to hold a phone, and says, “Lala, you just called me.”

Edited April 26 by hoodooznoodooz

[hoodooznoodooz]

Sandoval: Say, I stepped on Kyle’s shoes. Then he burns my house down- -

 

I want to know what he would have said next.

[hoodooznoodooz]

I’m ashamed to admit that I think Sandoval was correct, pointing out that Scheana’s meltdowns are exponentially more extreme than Ariana’s. 
 

 

[hoodooznoodooz]

Brock might be a Beta, like Shay. But he’s much less content to be a Beta.

[hoodooznoodooz]

16 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

It looked normal to me. Most stencils for portraits look like a mess of lines. To be honest, that tattoo came out better than I expected, based on the other tattoos I’ve seen on Bravo shows.

Rusty came through!!

Next Schwartz tattoo: Gloves! I love gloves!

Ronnie & Ben riff on Rusty’s name. He works at a tattoo parlor!

 

Maybe Hepatitis was working on another client. 

[Carolina Girl]

16 hours ago, Sweet-tea said:

I tried. I only last 15 minutes. Too much for me. 

You're nicer than me.  I wouldn't even give that low-life ONE minute.

[Carolina Girl]

16 hours ago, Sweet-tea said:

I think she handled herself well this episode, but not for the whole season. JMO though. 

I think it's hard for me to figure out the timeline for a lot of this and when the cameras went up for filming the new season.  I give her something of a pass for anything within even the first three months, since she was still raw and the press wasn't shutting up about it.

Also, since Scheana, Lala et al went to her when this all broke and advised her they had her back and were through with Tom, he was no longer their friend, yada yada - you would think they would stick to their word.  In no time at all they were finding excuses for doing a 180 as they rushed to get more camera time filming with Tom.  She was perfectly within her rights to say "hey, if you're friends with him. you can't be friends with me."  The time was THEN for these women to talk her off the ledge - not a few months later when they realize that Tom is going to continue to get some significant camera time and best to get in on the action.  I don't think initially that she thought she was going to be thrown together with Sandoval the way she has.  

But then again.....maybe this is all just being supremely scripted (and in some cases well-acted) long-con attempt to keep a dying show alive.  I have one friend who, after looking at all of said the only thing she believes wasn't planned in advance was "the bubble head not wanting to come back."  

[ZettaK]

On 4/25/2024 at 7:25 PM, Sweet-tea said:

I tried. I only last 15 minutes. Too much for me. 

I think she handled herself well this episode, but not for the whole season. JMO though. 

I agree that Ariana didn't handle herself well all season, only this episode.

On 4/26/2024 at 3:57 AM, hoodooznoodooz said:

Brock might be a Beta, like Shay. But he’s much less content to be a Beta.

Even Shay rebeled at the end (cheated).

[ZettaK]

I'm not a Lisa Vanderpump fan, but Jax would be who knows what (working at a third rate restaurant for nothing, or back to Florida) if not for her and her tv shows, because she is a producer on The Valley, as well. I don't know why she would add Kristen and Jax on The Valley, but she probably doesn't take important decisions, and she knows they would both create drama.

I will say again that I don't want to see Jax and his annoying wife (who doesn't look good compared to what she used to look years ago because of bad plastic surgery decisions- her implants scare me) on two shows. Brittany said Jax was upset she was earning more than him, I assume when he was blacklisted and she made at least $1 million from Jenny Craig. 

It doesn't matter if it's real makeup, or not, Scheana trains her daughter to wear makeup at such a young age. 

Edited April 29 by ZettaK

[Sweet-tea]

He is obnoxious. I just read he and Brittany are expecting another child. Aren't they divorcing? The poor kid is going to grow up with two screwed up parents. 

[ZettaK]

14 hours ago, Sweet-tea said:

He is obnoxious. I just read he and Brittany are expecting another child. Aren't they divorcing? The poor kid is going to grow up with two screwed up parents. 

I checked, and I didn't see anything about another child. Hopefully it's not true.

But unfortunately, this is true. Jax and Brittany reunite to attend the White House Correspondents' Dinner....

https://www.eonline.com/news/1400245/jax-taylor-and-brittany-cartwright-reunite-at-2024-white-house-correspondents-dinner

Edited April 29 by ZettaK

[princelina]

On 4/26/2024 at 1:28 PM, Carolina Girl said:

  I don't think initially that she thought she was going to be thrown together with Sandoval the way she has.  

But then again.....maybe this is all just being supremely scripted (and in some cases well-acted) long-con attempt to keep a dying show alive.  I have one friend who, after looking at all of said the only thing she believes wasn't planned in advance was "the bubble head not wanting to come back."  

If she didn't think that then she's certainly not the smartest person she or anyone else knows!!  She's been in the game long enough to know how it works.  What she also knows is that she can act as outrageous and horrible as she'd like and the producers will smile and nod and say, "More please!" 😄

[lasu]

I actually worry a bit about Scheana being so opposed to Brock working.  I think it's tied in with her insecurity, in that keeping him financially dependent on her will help keep him from leaving.  And if so, that is abusive.

[ZettaK]

4 hours ago, lasu said:

I actually worry a bit about Scheana being so opposed to Brock working.  I think it's tied in with her insecurity, in that keeping him financially dependent on her will help keep him from leaving.  And if so, that is abusive.

I agree. What does she think will happen when the show is over, and she will have fewer endorsements? Does she think she will be a guest on The Valley? Scandoval is at its last leg. I don’t think she will have any serious (or not serious) offers. She was broke during Covid when VR filmed less, and Sandoval had to help her financially. It seems Brock wants to have a career of some kind, but she doesn't like the idea. He has sports/exercise related experience. It appears like she is also the parent who takes most, if not all the decisions about their daughter. 

Edited April 30 by ZettaK

[Carolina Girl]

21 hours ago, princelina said:

If she didn't think that then she's certainly not the smartest person she or anyone else knows!!  She's been in the game long enough to know how it works.  What she also knows is that she can act as outrageous and horrible as she'd like and the producers will smile and nod and say, "More please!" 😄

Good point but I wonder what everyone thought the INITIAL filming scheme would be - that they operated under the idea that Rachel would come back and it would be two warring camps and the it would be Schwartz and maybe a couple others caught in the cross-fire.  Certainly when we came back it was Tom only filming with Schwartz and the D-List Brigade (some of whom are still hanging around).  Now that there is no Rachel and Tom, they are stuck with the idea of boring footage of Tommy and the D-Listers (that's what he should name that band of his) and footage of everyone else, but neither of this is entertaining, dramatic and the audience is being bored to sobs.  I don't give a fig about Scheana and Brock or Lala and the sperm donor.  So it's time to make Ariana and Tom interact - and even then I don't give a shit.

By the way, how can anyone bear to listen to Scheana's voice going on and on in a podcast?  I want to stuff forks in my ears every time she opens here mouth!  I remember when you used to have a decent voice.   

 

[princelina]

3 hours ago, Carolina Girl said:

 Tommy and the D-Listers (that's what he should name that band of his)

 

Hahahaha love it!  Maybe his next band 😂

[ZettaK]

4 hours ago, Carolina Girl said:

Good point but I wonder what everyone thought the INITIAL filming scheme would be - that they operated under the idea that Rachel would come back and it would be two warring camps and the it would be Schwartz and maybe a couple others caught in the cross-fire.  Certainly when we came back it was Tom only filming with Schwartz and the D-List Brigade (some of whom are still hanging around).  Now that there is no Rachel and Tom, they are stuck with the idea of boring footage of Tommy and the D-Listers (that's what he should name that band of his) and footage of everyone else, but neither of this is entertaining, dramatic and the audience is being bored to sobs.  I don't give a fig about Scheana and Brock or Lala and the sperm donor.  So it's time to make Ariana and Tom interact - and even then I don't give a shit.

By the way, how can anyone bear to listen to Scheana's voice going on and on in a podcast?  I want to stuff forks in my ears every time she opens here mouth!  I remember when you used to have a decent voice.   

 

They are all boring. The producers must have been furious when Rachel didn't return. Such a loss of explosive scenes, and it would be so close after the reunion. But they would be boring without Scandoval anyway.

[Gharlane]

Wow, I totally forgot to post some thoughts on this one and don't particularly feel like rewatching this one right now. Maybe later... 

[Carolina Girl]

2 hours ago, Gharlane said:

Wow, I totally forgot to post some thoughts on this one and don't particularly feel like rewatching this one right now. Maybe later... 

How dare you take the intelligent approach to this show....