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Red: Backwoods Hillbilly

Whimsy

By Whimsy
in Utopia (US) [V]

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Whimsy

Whimsy

Here's your Red topic.  I am open to suggestions for a new thread title.  Too many to set up to be witty and I don't know these people yet.  I haven't watched any live feeds.

From the Utopia Website:

 

Red Vanwinkle, 42, married, father
Hometown: Cecilia, Ky.
The self-proclaimed “backwoods hillbilly” is a jack of all trades who won’t tolerate fools in Utopia. “I can fix just about anything,” he says, “but there ain’t no fixin’ stupid.”

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Kris117

Kris117

If you look in the dictionary for the definition of "inbred," you'd see a picture of Red. Unbelievable. I firmly believe that if he'd seen someone else do the stupid thing he did, he would have been all over it. But because someone called him out, he didn't listen or think. No one objected to him running the hose for a big to get cool water—they only wanted him to use a bucket to catch that warm water. 

 

Oh, well, maybe one day he'll evolve a thumb. 

  • Love 1
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candall

candall

Is it just from watching "Winter's Bone"?  I see someone that young and that toothless and I just think "meth".

Not only what is commonly referred to as "meth mouth."  Emaciation.  Paranoia,  Grandiosity.  Lack of impulse control.  Combativeness.  Low tolerance for frustration.

 

I live where there's a high incidence of meth labs, but even if the entire production team is straight out of Beverly Hills Prep, the simplest personality inventory should have set off ear-shattering alarms about Red.  Ditto Dave and his anger issues.  I'm cutting them some slack about Bella because "Preppers" are extreme, by definition.  Searching for aliens is breaking some new ground, however, even for preppers.  Yikes.

  • Love 3
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kassa

kassa

I call shenanigans on the editing, because he was pitching a fit about not getting ramen, when the camera very clearly showed that they DID buy Ramen (you could clearly read it through the white plastic bag they did a closeup on).  So either he flipped out before he realized they DID buy it, or they bought the wrong flavor or something.

  • Love 1
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backformore

backformore

(edited)
I see someone that young and that toothless and I just think "meth".

 

I thought maybe he grew up without that awful cancer-causing fluoride in his drinking water, and all his teeth fell out from decay.   

Edited by backformore
  • Love 1
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candall

candall

I call shenanigans on the editing, because he was pitching a fit about not getting ramen, when the camera very clearly showed that they DID buy Ramen (you could clearly read it through the white plastic bag they did a closeup on).  So either he flipped out before he realized they DID buy it, or they bought the wrong flavor or something.

"I said Szechuan shrimp with pea shoots!!!"  <stomp stomp stomp>

 

(Ha.  Ramen's about ten cents per pack by the case.  I thought it was the best idea Red's come up with.)

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DeLurker

DeLurker

Well surprise of all surprises - Red, even with his Dave-related asshattery and general disagreeability, has turned out to be a rather likeable and all around good guy. Being both competent and caring with the animals, the mootopians especially, goes a long way in my book to offsetting his early behaviors. They may have been unwarranted at the time, but after additional exposure to these twerps it seems like a much more mild offenses.

  • Love 4
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candall

candall

It's amazing, isn't it?  The majority of the others are so devious, lazy, psychotic and/or clueless, Red's become the fan favorite.

 

If it weren't for the verification from the live feeds, I'd accuse the editors of putting way too much curve into Red's redemption arc.

 

Go Big Red!

  • Love 7
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hatemyneurosurgeon

hatemyneurosurgeon

I'm still not a fan of Red's.  Any time I even start to think there's a benefit to having him around, he goes off in another hissy.  Like he's got a giant chip on his shoulder and it's him against the world.  I was surprised he even had a wife, though I think he can be a decent guy, just as long as everything goes Red's way.  As for the teeth, so many possibilities.  One by one my own teeth have been breaking the past few years, from dry mouth I'm told.  Currently on 4 medications that list dry mouth as a side effect(as though I can't feel it lol) and hard to say which others I've taken over the years may have contributed.  That, and dental care impossibly expensive since times have been tough for some time due to numerous health problems.  In Red's case, given his locality, I'd guess Mountain Dew in his sippy cup(20/20 or Dateline?).

Though he's not afraid of work, hardly anyone can stand to work with him.  His rather childish fits and foul temper have cause nothing but discord among the Utopians..They don't have time to tiptoe around a landmine like him. This shows full of surprises, time will tell.

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clod

clod

Though he's not afraid of work, hardly anyone can stand to work with him.  His rather childish fits and foul temper have cause nothing but discord .....

 

in my area,  that would get you laid off from any factory job, making it hard to earn a living in the usual ways.  ( as an employee of a business )

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candall

candall

Well, yeah, I'm sure Red is a HUGE pain in the ass in almost any situation, including this one.  But in this group of bickering, petulant, entitled, lying, delusional, scheming, backstabbing, lazy, immoral famewhores, the one guy who's willing to get up at 3 or 4a.m. to bottlefeed a helpless newborn calf starts looking pretty good.

 

Same with Josh--that first night of drunken groping would ordinarily end him for me.  But, hey, in Utopia, he's the only person with any work ethic whatsoever.

 

Somehow the standard yardstick isn't an effective measuring tool within the walls of Utopia.

  • Love 2
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areca

areca

(edited)

Reddit did a Q&A on Reddit yesterday where he said he had tried pretty much everything a normal person would try to reason with these people, and then realized the only thing that worked was throwing a temper tantrum. His Q&A actually sounded mostly intelligent and fairly well thought out.

Edited by areca
  • Love 2
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candall

candall

I've defended him as the protector of the baby Mootopian, but I was shocked at the level of outright hero worship for Red on the AMA.  I got tired of the "stupid can't be fixed" repetition, but I guess Red's cementing the catchphrase for his t-shirt business, website and other assorted entrepreneurial efforts.

 

On occasion, I hire my own volatile, toothless, sporadically handy guy.  He also nods sagely and intones "You can't fix stupid."  I know he's going to want a Red t-shirt to match all the promotional gear he has from his other idols, Duck Dynasty.

  • Love 1
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DeLurker

DeLurker

I read through some of the Reddit AMA and was also surprised by the absolute adulation   In the sections I read he was pretty straight forward/straight talking so all the praise did not seem go to his head (granted, the head may not be perfectly screwed on to begin with but I digress).

 

I'm sure he'll be marketing the "stupid can't be fixed" shirts, but can I order at shirts for all the members, full and part timers, of the Cool Kids Club shirts that say "stupid"?

  • Love 3
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