S18.E03: Auditions 3

[Mr. Sparkle]

Third round of auditions airs Tuesday, June 13th, 8:00 PM EDT. 

[ShowsILoveToHate]

Ok, seriously?! I think they put that guy through only because of his age. Yes he was excellent but he didn’t do anything that many other “regular” people can do. Oh well. He was sweet…. But still! 

[ams1001]

• Guitar guy was good. I will echo Simon's "I was not expecting that."
• I actually really liked the 12yo ventrilo-mentalist...A pleasant surprise since she had us just expecting the second coming of Darci Lynne and mentalists generally aren't my favorite, but this was a fun twist.
• Filipino singer. Oh, stop crying. I have a sore throat just listening to him.
• I sorta missed a few while scrounging up some dinner.
• Non-verbal stand-up comic...that's new. "Stephen Hawking from wish.com" 😄 I liked him a lot. (Also his dog, who looks like he's just thinking, "what.")
• Hula-hooper made me dizzy.
• Is it really necessary to suggest to the kid that he should be terrified before he performs?
• Is this a talent show or a Guinness record competition?
• Ukrainian dancer was cool.
• Sword-swallower was pretty to look at but I can't watch those acts. I'll have to take the judges' word for it. (I went to get ice cream.)
• The spokes-kid for the drummer group is adorable. He's hoping for the golden buzzer. There are eight minutes left. Gee, I wonder if they're gonna get the golden buzzer. (Snark aside, they were fun. I like drumlines...make it pint-sized and it's even better.)
• Hey, look, I must be psychic. 
• Is it just me or is the actually-talented to stupid-act ratio much higher than usual this season?
• As much as I am enjoying them, for the most part, I still haven't retained a single name of any of these people.

Edited June 14, 2023 by ams1001

[LennieBriscoe]

Old Guy With Guitar was great! But he'll be cool with not progressing far. 

 

[Frisky Wig]

Really tired of Howie’s big loud laugh guffawing at stupid, stupid crap. 
 

The only thing that impressed me about Alfie’s audition is Heidi knowing he was singing a Lady Gaga song on, what was that, the first note? 

[InternetToughGuy]

It seems this show is losing popularity even here, since there are so few posters and discussion ends hours within airing. Not like there's anything to talk about. I've realized that putting in effort for a show I hate to watch, hate to talk about, and for people whose Primetimer avatars aren't naked selfies is self torture for no reason. As you can tell, I had nothing to say at all and writing this crappy post wasn't enjoyable.

///

John Wines - A bite sized summary for Gen Z would be "slay Queen", an actual summary would be it was alright. Probably won't go very far.

Brynn Cummings - I must have a hidden talent for ventriloquism, as during these acts my lips as well as eyeballs and every muscle in between fails to respond. The drawn out delivery was annoying.

Roland Abante - Asking how he got into the country is redundant at this point when the money alloted for the wall will be spent on a 1000 mile wide welcome mat. After what feels like pride decade, I had to assume the lyric "When a man loves a woman" was a Weird Al parody of a song meant to brainwash kids. I got nothing to say.

Riccardo Pace - The squeaky fart sound is what would come out upon opening the U.S. Treasury purse. Anyway, I used to obsess about people's height, but now I obsess about age - I thought he looked pretty old for 21.

Ahren Belisle - He looks like me when I actually have to back up my Facebook threats. He was pretty good for the first half before he started talking about race; it's a sensitive topic when it has anything remotely to do with me.

Grace Good - Well she looked decent

Alfie Andrew - It was alright

David Rush - I don't mean he's fearless when I say Howie is afraid of nothing, as I asked a well respected scientist for any proof confirming the idea of germs wasn't a lie and he hung up. Nothing to say of course.

Alexandr Leshchenko - I think the applause they got for being from Ukraine was louder than for the actual performance.

Herwan Legaillard - Didn't look cause I was grossed out; a reaction usually reserved for overweight singers

Chioma & The Atlanta Drum Academy - It was alright.

///

This show is trash.

[Mr. Sparkle]

I've liked the last 2 weeks of auditions, which is surprising. Still a mediocre show overall. 

Some random thoughts:

• Middle-aged guitarist - better than I thought it would be. Not going beyond the next round. 
• Ventriloquist - an interesting twist on the genre, not as good as Darcie Lynne. 
• Singer from the Philippines - good voice, I kind of hate that song. He'll go pretty far. 
• Hand fart guy - so help me, I thought it was kind of funny. His earnestness sold it. 
• Disabled comic - pretty funny. This show laps up stuff like that. 
• Hula hooper - all that stuff has been done, just not all in the same act. It was ok. 
• Kid singer - I thought he was lousy. If he were an adult, he would have been criticized. 
• Guinness record - boring. 
• Ukrainian mixed media - it was ok. Nothing we haven't seen before. 
• Sword swallower - I was bored. 
• Drumline - didn't see that golden buzzer coming from a mile away. Kid was adorable, act was ok.  

[marketdoctor]

I liked Grace Good, the hula-hooper arielist, a lot, because although it combines two types of act, they blend together well.  Likewise ventriloquism and mentalism and the sword-swallower/arielist.  The comic made me laugh.

I lost it a little when Simon said "maybe we should make a kid's version of this show"--because you did, and no one watched it.  This week had more kid acts (and more blend dancing and something else acts); they probably could have mixed up the acts better and moved one of the kid acts to the first week.

World record attempts are cool (I've tried a few), but hard to follow up.  THAT is the show they could make:  "One Trick Pony", where everyone who has one act/type of thing that they can do once and it's cool, and once with a twist is cool, and...that's it, but that's OK if that's all that's expected.  Down side is it would be an expensive show to produce, because you'd need a lot of acts.

Overall, a good week, and again, I'm not sure why one of these acts wasn't the first week, unless they're doing a reverse fake-out, and actually showing the acts in chronological order (they're not.)

 

 

 

[rr2911]

Let me start with the obvious.  Everyone in the whole AGT universe knew Terry Crews was going to pick some dance group, choir, community organization from inner city.  Look, the drumline group were pretty good and they deserved to go through, but these Golden Buzzer acts are just being repeated.  I wish the show would get tid of them and make the show about talent.

There was only one act that deserves to be menioned and that was the young female ventriloquist act.  I know this show has many ventriloquists before but not with mentalism attached to it.  Very well done.

AGT is quickly heading towards the "bubble" for me.  It was better back when there wasn't a GB and sob stories weren't taking over.  Pretty soon AGT will join American Idol and Dancing With The Stars in my reality show trashcan.

[Tango64]

I've never understoood the Golden Buzzer, at least from the audience's perspective. Sure, it's good for the performer who is guaranteed to go to the live shows and skip the rounds where they might be eliminated. But let's say I really like this act and would enjoy seeing them again. Now they get the GB and I won't see them again for a good while. Sometimes when they show up on the live shows I've completely forgotten them.

[Neet]

I almost couldn't be bothered to write a post, much to the dismay of nobody. There's real commentary in it for once instead of just acting stupid.

John Wines - You're saying that someone who practices an instrument for several decades will become good at it? At least a million other people can play like him, so the only "draw" is him being old.

Brynn Cummings - I think "judges" has become one of those words on par with "moist" that I never want to hear again, even more so when said by a puppet. There's a constant insinuation that the TV audience is supposed to think of them as your friends or surrogate parents. The act was better than most like it because of adding a magic trick, so it wasn't just unfunny snark banter, although the actual ventriloquy was kind of weak.

Roland Abante - About 20 years ago, America was so up its ass with patriotism that every other country felt like the enemy. People would thank the Coca Cola deliverymen for their service, although that probably still happens. Now, anyone else coming into the US, even illegally, gets a standing ovation. He has a good voice, but it's sickening to see the audience act like they'd pack an arena to watch a random guy singing. Simon used to at least pretend he was looking for marketable talent.

Riccardo Pace - In fairness, modern Kelly Clarkson would sound pretty similar to this.

Ahren Belisle - Nice to know this guy isn't so impaired as to not obsess over race like everyone else. The first third was good, then it became a list of socially acceptable topics to bitch about, nearly absent of punchlines.

Grace Good - Her name sounds like Roland's review of her performance. I can't remember much of it.

Alfie Andrew - I thought it was really good the first time, then played it again and could hear how amateurish he sounded. At least he doesn't seem to be an act given massively undue praise just for being a kid. Fake Dad Simon's comment about his clothing was easy to see coming, thankfully nobody really reacted.

David Rush - Could he possibly have underset his first record in private to dramatically break it on TV? Probably. A more interesting record to set than fist bumps would be verifying a single instance of germ theory - or most tinfoil hats fashioned in 60 seconds.

Alexandr Leshchenko - Didn't Americans used to call people who run away from war cowards? I'd dodge the draft like a teetotaler, don't get me wrong. Anyway, this is another act where someone dancing around a laser tag background is supposed to make you feel the sanctity of life or some other nonsense. A snooze.

Herwan Legaillard - What prompts someone to know they're able to swallow a sword? Him doing this during Pride month certainly draws some implications, but it was pretty good. At least he was doing more than just standing in place.

Chioma & The Atlanta Drum Academy - AGT must be contractually obligated to always end with a group of black men/boys doing something in unison. The formula of African American + group + from shitty neighborhood must equal Au, though I haven't taken chemistry in a while. They have a lot of energy, but the actual drumming was just alright. I could slot this in for any act, but Terry acting like a spellbound simpleton and feigning a heart attack 20 times a show is getting really irritating.

Having watched this show since 2011, I think the fun ended many years ago. It's way too predictable and sanitized, not to retread the judge worship. American Idol is similar, but I somehow can't hate it anywhere near as much. AGT being a variety show should imply higher highs, but almost everything is just okay and thus makes every episode drag on.

Edited June 14, 2023 by Neet

[Lonesome Rhodes]

Full marks to the elderly Zakk Wylde knock-off.  I hope he goes as far as possible if it means we get a wee bit of actual rock.  I loved his English personality.

Although the comedian demonstrated an innate/organic humor (unlike most AGT comedians) it is patently unfair for any act to show up and just push "Play."  His entire act was tracked.  All of it.  The material was way better than typical AGT offerings, but I can't imagine having to sit in an audience for a "live" performance as he texts jokes.  He could still fashion a career in comedy as a writer or as a performer who puts out digital performances.  I wish him well.

The mixed media acts do not translate well to TV monitors.  The effects work far better live.  Yet, here again, there is a huge reliance on pre-fabricated performance elements.  The Ukrainian dancer did an excellent job, though.  This act would be perfect for the Las Vegas shows.

I was genuinely surprised Howie allowed that particular touching in the world record deal.  Good on him.

The drumline was the worst percussion act I can remember seeing on AGT.  Incredibly weak composition of material and sloppy performance, which was at least understandable given the ages of the performers.  For me, it's the weakest GB evah.   It was, however, entirely appropriate to this ep, which was lousy.

[gaPeach]

Quote

 

It seems this show is losing popularity even here, since there are so few posters and discussion ends hours within airing. Not like there's anything to talk about. I've realized that putting in effort for a show I hate to watch, hate to talk about, and for people whose Primetimer avatars aren't naked selfies is self torture for no reason. As you can tell, I had nothing to say at all and writing this crappy post wasn't enjoyable.

I agree.  I am back watching it after years of not watching.  This show has turned into a platform for any act coming to America.  Not many contestants are from America.  Or maybe it just seems that way.

But this show is going down the same rabbit hole with the sad backstories, adorable kids (that they just can't say no to) or a disability.  Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with the backstories etc.  It's just too much and it is getting old.  At least they have not gotten as bad as American Idiot but its close.  I have not seen many Nos on this show so basically, like AI, they are only showing us the acts they already know are going through.  It's just so fake.  And I liked the acts that were bad and got the Xed. 

And what do they give the audience to react with such passion for each. and. every. act?