Sins Of Our Mother

[Enero]

Lori Vallow was known to friends and family as a devoted mother of three, a loving wife, and a woman of God. But over the past three years, something went very wrong: Now Lori is in jail, waiting to stand trial for conspiracy to commit murder and first-degree murder in connection with the deaths of her fourth husband, her fifth husband’s wife, and her two youngest children. For the first time, Lori’s surviving son Colby steps forward to provide exclusive insight into his family’s backstory as well as their present-tense narrative as Lori faces justice. At the heart of this three-part series is a single burning question: how did a seemingly normal woman become the most notorious mother in America? 

[Enero]

Finished this series last night. At first I thought Lori Vallow may have been having a mental breakdown and Chad Daybell saw that vulnerability and took advantage. But after listening to what was said about how she always needed to feel validated by some higher power as if that higher power was directing her, I think she got caught up in her own delusions of grandeur. When she met Mr. Daybell he was just the type of “believer” and “profit” she’d been looking for and thus she went all in with her religious delusions.

The delusions were so ridiculous I wondered if we were gong to learn that she and Chad were abusing drugs. I mean accusing people of  becoming zombies? Funny though how all the zombies were people whom they knew, who’d angered or offended them in someway. If they were killing random people their delusions would’ve had some logic albeit still delusional. But their actions were clearly personal and for their own gain. 

Charlie Vallow saw the writing on the wall but unfortunately he couldn’t make anyone believe what was happening and ended up dead. Don’t understand why his “son” and daughter in law didn’t bother to read his emails about Lori’s crazy until after he’d been murdered and the kids were missing.

Still not clear on how Lori’s brother, Alex Cox, died. Or Chad Daybell’s wife. I will say all the folks involved in this tragic mess came off as very odd people. 

I’m glad Lori has been found competent to stand trial. Hopefully she gets life in prison along with Chad Daybell. Also glad Charlie Vallow had the foresight to change the beneficiary on his million dollar life insurance policy to JJ’s grandparents. At least Lori didn’t get the financial windfall she was expecting from his murder.

My heart broke for JJ and Tylee. I wish she could’ve got away from that situation and taken JJ, but she was just a teen herself. Where would she go? Her “loving” brother couldn’t be bothered to keep in  touch. And the grandparents seemed out of touch too. It didn’t seem like it was all Lori’s doing that an estrangement had happened, especially on the brother’s front. He stated outright that he was busy with his on life and didn’t keep in touch with Tylee.

I also felt bad for JJs grandparents.  I’m sure they never imagined that when they asked Lori and Charlie to raise him, he along with Charlie would end up dead 7 years later. 

[Adiba]

Just finished this, and the thing that stood out to me was how many warning signs were there, but there was nothing anyone could do legally to protect the children.
What really bothered me was when Charlie Vallow called the police and they treated him like he was crazy. Lori took his truck and ALL of his possessions yet nothing happened to her? My opinion is that because she was an attractive woman she could charm her way out of things.

I think Chad andLori fed off of each other and their narcissistic delusions of grandeur— that they were “special” and that they had spiritual powers granted by God that exempted them from human laws.

[SunnyBeBe]

I’m on episode 2 and I’m pretty ticked about the family and friends who were aware, but chose to stay clear and hope for the best.  Anyone with half a brain could see Lori was unstable, bizarre, unsafe…..REPORT HER.  Even if it goes nowhere, do it anyway. If enough call, they’ll eventually look into it. (CPS) With what they knew about Lori at that point, they should have joined forces for the kids. But nooo…..they protect her right up to the end.  🤬  They not only did nothing, but shunned the voice of reason or just hoped for the best and ignored it.  How can you sleep at night knowing people like her are parenting 2 kids?  It’s so outrageous.  Knowing ALL they knew….those family members STILL chose to defend Lori after the kids disappeared and there was a tv docu about it.  WHAT?  Shame on them.  I get why they feel bad.  Those kids were not only betrayed by their mom, but their brother and most all other family members.  I’m not sure I can tolerate watching the entire thing.  How many people can drop the ball on a serious child safety case?  Man……..pathetic.  

[IntrovertRed]

I don’t think the families thought that Lori and Chad would actually commit murder.  If eere pointing fingers, why not the police?  If Lori had been brought into the psych ward in Arizona, and also not been told about it beforehand (by the police!), what would have happened. Or if the police had actually investigated Charles’ murder and realized the many holes in Alex and Lori’s stories, would JJ/Tylee/Tammy be alive?  But Lori was attractive and knows how to charm people.  I believe that Zulema, Lori’s niece, and Melanie Gibb all knew what was happening. The podcast Pretty Lies & Alibis is a good resource for this case.

Lori’s mom saying they were a normal family, talk about a load of crap.  Lori’s dad was/is a nut job.

I bet that Chad is gonna turn on Lori.

3 hours ago, Enero said:

Also glad Charlie Vallow had the foresight to change the beneficiary on his million dollar life insurance policy to JJ’s grandparents. At least Lori didn’t get the financial windfall she was expecting from his murder.

I would love to know how he did that, I tried once I became separated and was told I couldn’t do until we were officially divorced. 

[Enero]

8 hours ago, KLJ said:

The podcast Pretty Lies & Alibis is a good resource for this case.

Lori’s mom saying they were a normal family, talk about a load of crap.  Lori’s dad was/is a nut job.

I bet that Chad is gonna turn on Lori.

I thought there was a LOT missing from this documentary. They seemed to try hard to paint Lori’s family in a positive light and honestly gave very little details about her crazy behavior often just saying she started acting “weird” after so and so event.  So while entertaining I didn’t think this documentary was outstanding and could’ve been done better. 

I’m going to look for this podcast you mentioned and listen. 

Quote

I would love to know how he did that, I tried once I became separated and was told I couldn’t do until we were officially divorced. 

If he worked he may have been enrolled in a group Life insurance plan, which will allow you to change your beneficiaries at anytime. If it was a personal plan that had dividends there may be laws in your state that prevent removing a spouse as a beneficiary until after the divorce. Because the plan would be considered assets. Though Charles and Lori were having problems and separated I dint think they’d started divorce proceedings. 

[gesundheit]

Lori's mother insisting, even knowing what she knows now, that she sees no reason to "pile on" to Lori for murdering her children was a hell of a thing, and tells us a lot about the origins of Lori's psychosis.

[SunnyBeBe]

2 hours ago, gesundheit said:

Lori's mother insisting, even knowing what she knows now, that she sees no reason to "pile on" to Lori for murdering her children was a hell of a thing, and tells us a lot about the origins of Lori's psychosis.

Totally bizarre!  Yeah, that family is messed up.  I won’t go into it here, but the adult son, Colby, was in the media recently….did you read about that?  Oh well…that’s a whole other story.  

[gesundheit]

13 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Totally bizarre!  Yeah, that family is messed up.  I won’t go into it here, but the adult son, Colby, was in the media recently….did you read about that?  Oh well…that’s a whole other story.  

I did see something that he and his wife are separated and that she pressed (and later dropped?) sexual assault charges against him or something? Disturbing and sad. The cycle continues.

[SunnyBeBe]

From all that I saw…..I’m not impressed that they were this oh so special LDS family…..ever.

[Enero]

15 hours ago, gesundheit said:

Lori's mother insisting, even knowing what she knows now, that she sees no reason to "pile on" to Lori for murdering her children was a hell of a thing, and tells us a lot about the origins of Lori's psychosis.

Completely agree. Could not believe what I was hearing. She murdered her children and her husband there’s no limit to the pile on. 

13 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Totally bizarre!  Yeah, that family is messed up.  I won’t go into it here, but the adult son, Colby, was in the media recently….did you read about that?  Oh well…that’s a whole other story.  

I haven’t seen the recent news stories about him, but I will say his memorial on the beach in Hawaii for JJ, Tylee and Charlie was odd. It was obvious that he didn’t care much about what was going on with them until they ended up dead. So his tears and thoughts about losing them seemed disingenuous. 

[merylinkid]

I don't blame Colby for not stepping up.   I mean he did have his own life, and wasn't much older than his sister.   It's not HIS job to protect her.   

Honestly, I wonder how involved the brother was in the deaths.   Sure Lori was batshit crazy, but her brother was willing to do her bidding.   She said someone was a zombie and boom, he would go attack them.   Then claim self-defense.   So Lori wasn't the only looney tune in the family.   

But the documentary was a hot mess.   I had to watch the first episode twice and I am still confused.   It was just all over the place.   And the next two weren't much better.    It was just didn't hang together for me as a coherent story.    Other than you know Lori was crazy and Chad Daybell is delusional too in believing their own prophecies.    the addition of the prophet chick didn't help matters.    

[bilgistic]

Janis completely is and always has been an enabler for Lori.

I am never prepared for seeing Janis's face onscreen no matter how many times I've seen her and her botched plastic surgery and years of smoking and sun damage.

How did any of these people have money to move constantly while never seeming to be working? Does self-publishing actually pay anything?

[SunnyBeBe]

For me, when any child is in a dangerous situation, there’s  a duty to report.  That mom was very over the top and warning signals every where.   It included  the Hawaii friend as well,  who knew they were in danger. You can report anonymously.

Edited September 20, 2022 by SunnyBeBe

[Guest]

On 9/17/2022 at 10:49 PM, gesundheit said:

I did see something that he and his wife are separated and that she pressed (and later dropped?) sexual assault charges against him or something? Disturbing and sad. The cycle continues.

It wasn't his wife who pressed the charges, it was another woman; they were already separated. 

Which leads me to this: there's also something seriously wrong with him, too. Listen closely to how he frames everything with an "I" statement and made this all about himself. Every time he spoke, he sounded like he was verbally expressing a Facebook post. Then, there's the last scene with he and his wife on the beach in Kauai. He'd get a failing grade from the Teen-Mom-school-of-fake-crying-for-the-camera. I dunno, but I get the feeling the guy is a grade-A psycho who comes from a family of other grade-A pscyhos. Not that he had much choice—he was raised by a narcissist but he's a psycho nonetheless. 

I was shocked that the police let Lori go when they found her ex dead in her house and her manner was inappropriately casual like she had just been told there was a bird flying around in the sky.

I'm sad that the Daybell kids didn't participate in this, but, given that it was a pretty shitty doc in the end, it was probably the right choice.

[libgirl2]

8 minutes ago, Giant Misfit said:

It wasn't his wife who pressed the charges, it was another woman; they were already separated. 

Which leads me to this: there's also something seriously wrong with him, too. Listen closely to how he frames everything with an "I" statement and made this all about himself. Every time he spoke, he sounded like he was verbally expressing a Facebook post. Then, there's the last scene with he and his wife on the beach in Kauai. He'd get a failing grade from the Teen-Mom-school-of-fake-crying-for-the-camera. I dunno, but I get the feeling the guy is a grade-A psycho who comes from a family of other grade-A pscyhos. Not that he had much choice—he was raised by a narcissist but he's a psycho nonetheless. 

I was shocked that the police let Lori go when they found her ex dead in her house and her manner was inappropriately casual like she had just been told there was a bird flying around in the sky.

I'm sad that the Daybell kids didn't participate in this, but, given that it was a pretty shitty doc in the end, it was probably the right choice.

Yes, there is something wrong with him but look at his childhood, he was a victim of CSA, his mother and all that family are nuts, the one person he seemed to bond with killed (by his uncle). All around really sad. 

I would like to have seen the Daybell kids too as well as Charles Vallow's kids, though it does look like they have in the past.  

[SlovakPrincess]

It's insane to me that, after Charles Vallow reports Lori has gone insane and may be a danger to the kids, him ending up shot to death by Lori's brother, and Lori's "eh, whatevs" reaction to said killing, and Lori almost immediately fleeing to another state with the kids ... that the cops and family still barely reacted to what was going on with Lori until it was too late to save the children.

[Jax7917]

On 9/17/2022 at 7:54 PM, gesundheit said:

Lori's mother insisting, even knowing what she knows now, that she sees no reason to "pile on" to Lori for murdering her children was a hell of a thing, and tells us a lot about the origins of Lori's psychosis.

I was thinking the same thing. Her mother was talking about not wanting to "pile on" her daughter as if Lori's sin was not separating the light from dark laundry. As you said, she MURDERED  her 2 kids. Plus murdered a string of other people. You can tell the mother just put on a sad front for the interview but she clearly doesn't understand or care about the magnitude of what her daughter did. I honestly didn't see anyone in this documentary that came off that well, aside from the son and I even felt that he was sort of putting on a sad act for the interview. Even her friend Melanie didn't seem to care about the missing children. It was mostly just, "Lori, why did you tell the police the kids were with me? That's not being a good friend." How about the concern for the kids?? Like Lori, where the hell are they ? The son was 7 years old, not 18.

Edited September 29, 2022 by Jax7917

[Bastet]

I generally hate true crime programming, but I thought this director's The Girl in the Picture went out of its way to correct most of the genre's usual mistakes, so I agreed to watch this with a friend.  Bleh.  Too many zealots to keep straight (and I can't handle religious wackadoodles under allegedly benign circumstances, never mind when it results in kids being murdered), and they should have waited until the information that's going to be presented at trial came out to try and tell this story.  I have no idea what the point of this was, other than the usual titillation and exploitation.

This Who's Who and Timeline from East Idaho News explains the people and events far better.  And here's their article on "the religious circle surrounding Chad and Lori Daybell".

[Rlb8031]

On 9/22/2022 at 10:35 AM, Giant Misfit said:

I was shocked that the police let Lori go when they found her ex dead in her house and her manner was inappropriately casual like she had just been told there was a bird flying around in the sky.

This^^^^.

Let's start with the fact that Tylee's story, clearly didn't line up with Alex's story and neither meshed exactly with the mom's and yet, after that first round of questioning, the cops just said - yep, this is all on the up and up. Now imagine, this had been a Hispanic or Black family - any chance that there isn't ONE follow-up question?

I gave Colby a lot of breaks in this story. First, because I had absolutely no doubt that his mom took a "its either her or me" stance with his wife. Second because he was clearly raised with a TON of instability and a mom, who for all her piousness, put her relationships with men before her kids. Finally, I know that there is tons of crazy in the fringe LDS communities and lots of things that are completely unacceptable in the everyday world are overlooked by mainstream LDS people regularly. 

Spoiler

The Who's Who article linked above includes references to inappropriate intimacy between Alex and Lori. That may also have impacted Chad - who's now being charged with domestic assault (although he has allegedly described it as "rape").

And it seems even Tammy's children are impacted as they are all supporting their dad and claiming that he had nothing to do with their mother's death - I don't know how they are explaining away the texts between Chad and Laurie???

[gaPeach]

What a mess.  Lori was definitely a master manipulator.  I felt so bad for her oldest son.  The guilt he feels must be overwhelming.  As we all know, Hindsight is 20/20.  He could a, would a or should have done something but what?  It is his mom and unlike his grandmother he was not giving his mom a pass for murdering his siblings and his father, but he has to live with it.  I too thought the beach scene with his wife was a bit dramatic.

Lori, to all appearances was a normal mother and all said she would do anything for her kids.  Whatever got to her was a slow transformation until she got around enough other believers, especially Chad and then it took off.  But she had Charles (ex-husband) killed before she even met Chad.

I too believe it is possible that Lori's niece (the one who's ex-husband was shot at) and Tammy knew a lot more about the kids then they let on.  It was unsettling the Tammy was more upset Lori told the cops she had the kids then the fact, that Tammy DID NOT have the kids.

Alex the bother, wow.  He killed for his sister without even batting an eye.  His demeaner with the cops after killing Charles was chilling how he did not even feel any bit of remorse for what he did.  The fact that Lori's story did not match Alex's was nothing to the cops.  If they looked in to anything they would have found the incident when Charles talked to the cops when Lori threw all of his stuff away.  The cops that told Lori how to avoid getting picked up for a psychological evaluation, should be ashamed of themselves.  I wonder if they consider that IF they had done their job, the kids and maybe even Chad's wife would be alive?  Goes to show that men are easily charmed by a good-looking women.  Even a murderous one.