S04.E09: You Want All the Juicy Details?

[Auntie Anxiety]

Whenever I watch these stupid people, I am so thankful that my own kids aren’t fucked up.

[candall]

I'm back!  I stretched out JUST FOR A MINUTE at 8:57 and woke up in time to hear that fucking moron Garrick agree that PROBABLY there would be "part of the year" when he didn't see any children he might father who lived in Brazil.

Derp.  Was he drooling when he made that laser beam observation?  No wonder Dannnnnnielle was weeping.  She has joined her life to a imbecile who can't see farther than the end of his dick.

[Pepper Mostly]

1 minute ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

She needed an iron clad document to protect herself and her kids, something that Garrick couldn’t change after he becomes a father again. I doubt she has that protection.

You know that Garrick just bleated at her that he "would always take care of her and the boys!" And she bought it. She's going to be really, really sorry. 

[Auntie Anxiety]

Why does Tosha feel the need to discuss this with her mother before anything actually comes of Insipidian’s tryst?

[sainte-chapelle]

Oh mom…living with your brother is not even close to the same thing

[Grifter Lives]

Just now, Pepper Mostly said:

You know that Garrick just bleated at her that he "would always take care of her and the boys!" And she bought it. She's going to be really, really sorry. 

Dannnielle & her parents will be out on the street.  There's no way that they're going to live in the 7-bedroom home when Ick & Bert are the happy, gross monogamous couple that God divined.

Wasn't Tosha's mother also living in Idaho before?  Did she move with them to Portland, or is Tosha back in Idaho?

[Pepper Mostly]

Tosha is just as idiotic as Dannnnnnnielle. "She's spent months without Sidian and I get to be with him every single day" she simpers. And of course he will marry Arielle and eventually Tosha will be out in the cold. She has no kids with him. He'll toss her aside like a Kleenex.

[Auntie Anxiety]

Mother Squeaky, just tell her you think it’s a stupid idea and wish her luck. Then get a box of popcorn and sit back because you will be proven right in the end.

[Pepper Mostly]

1 minute ago, Grifter Lives said:

Dannnielle & her parents will be out on the street.  There's no way that they're going to live in the 7-bedroom home when Ick & Bert are the happy, gross monogamous couple that God divined.

God will tell Garrick that he's changed his mind. Its a miracle! 

[sainte-chapelle]

4 minutes ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Tosha is just as idiotic as Dannnnnnnielle. "She's spent months without Sidian and I get to be with him every single day" she simpers. And of course he will marry Arielle and eventually Tosha will be out in the cold. She has no kids with him. He'll toss her aside like a Kleenex.

Isn’t that his MO? Tosha was the new wife and his first wife was tossed aside….rise and repeat. Karma is a bitch Tosha

Edited August 2, 2022 by sainte-chapelle

[Grifter Lives]

1 minute ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Mother Squeaky, just tell her you think it’s a stupid idea and wish her luck. Then get a box of popcorn and sit back because you will be proven right in the end.

She must be thinking, "I'm so proud of my daughter!  I really instilled great values in her."

[candall]

"I get to live with Sidian every single day!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh, fortunate woman.

[Pepper Mostly]

Marcus. That's not a vibe. You have a fever. See your doctor.

[Auntie Anxiety]

1 minute ago, candall said:

"I get to live with Sidian every single day!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh, fortunate woman.

I was wondering if that’s a feature or a flaw.

When will Marcus’ voters start a recall? 

[Adeejay]

Garrick may miss Roberta, but I doubt she misses him.  As long as he keeps sending her money, she will keep in touch.  The “try for babies” is just him needing an excuse to bed her.  I believe Danielle is starting to realize that Garrick would dump her and the boys for Roberta in a heartbeat. 

Somebody should probably tell Tasha that just because she grew up in a house with her mom, uncle, and uncle’s wife, it wasn’t a plural lifestyle.  Based on what her mom said, her father wasn’t in the picture, so they were her “village”.  Big difference!

[candall]

Wait.  You mean to tell me this chick's still in town??

[Pepper Mostly]

God, the sleaze just radiates off Marcus in waves. He does that thing where he licks his chops and thinks he looks sexy. 

And now he's pressuring her to meet the other women? BACK OFF CREEP

[Auntie Anxiety]

Marcus’ bullshit double talk makes me despise him that much more.

[Grifter Lives]

This is all I can see with Marcus:

[Pepper Mostly]

Janae, take that drink and pour it over Marcus' bald head. 

[PrincessPurrsALot]

For a moment there I thought the background music was from The Exorcist.  It would be apropo. 

[sainte-chapelle]

These assholes always sell the female empowerment angle.

[Auntie Anxiety]

Janae, have some self respect. He’s a gross pig.

[Pepper Mostly]

2 minutes ago, candall said:

Wait.  You mean to tell me this chick's still in town??

A PA must have offered her a bonus if she'd stick around and pretend to entertain this. 

1 minute ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Janae, have some self respect. He’s a gross pig.

He really is just so shudder inducing. I wouldn't want him anywhere near me. 

[candall]

This out-of-town woman wants no part of Marcus and his mess.  Is she just hypnotized by the camera crew?  Is there a per diem for walk-ons?

[sainte-chapelle]

I hope Janae is just harvesting the TLC dollar

[Pepper Mostly]

She can barely contain her eye rolls. Her incentive must be strictly monetary. 

[Auntie Anxiety]

First, I would tell Marcus that I won’t even entertain the idea unless and until he gets tested for STDs. Then, after that happens, I’d still say no.

Garrick needs higher heeled cowboy boots.

[Pepper Mostly]

Garrick moons and sighs over Bert like a middle schooler. He is just so gross. 

[candall]

". . . . that God blesses us, and we get tickets booked. . . " and that I don't have to wear a condom. . .

[Grifter Lives]

Just now, Pepper Mostly said:

Garrick moons and sighs over Bert like a middle schooler. He is just so gross. 

His Brazilian Portuguese was the language of love.  "Hhola, Amor!"

[sainte-chapelle]

I do feel for Dani. She is being foolish but she was with her husband since she was very young. Love and the fear of letting go leads to poor decision making but she needs to think of the kids.

[Auntie Anxiety]

Roberta’s mother is her ace in the hole. But Garrick can still keep sending the Benjamins.

[candall]

Oh, look.  Garrick's crying.

[Pepper Mostly]

Aaaaaand Garrick is weeping again. What a fucking weed. 

[Grifter Lives]

Oh!  Garrick's tears!  Sitting through this whole episode was worth it, just to see him cry and wipe his eyes.  "I love hearing your voice," he responds to the translator app, before he gently weeps.

[Pepper Mostly]

Just now, candall said:

Oh, look.  Garrick's crying.

 I can't believe it. He's usually a rock. So stoic.

[candall]

Wow, Episode 10 seems a bit late for Sidian to be explaining the Fiancée Visa to Arielle.

[Pepper Mostly]

Well, peeps, we made it. I feel like I need a shower. 

See most of you on Friday for a nice, wholesome dose of Love after Lockup. 

Stay cool this week! MWAH!

[sainte-chapelle]

Goodnight all,until we snark again!

[Auntie Anxiety]

That translator app deserves a nomination for best supporting actor.

That hour always flies by. Guess I’ll now have to give some thought to my wet bed sheet dilemma. Avoiding a laundromat might go by the wayside as an option. 

Have a great week, dearies. Stay strong, be safe and live your best life.

[PrincessPurrsALot]

The translation on screen did not match the translation App. The on screen text implied that meeting mom again would not lead to happily ever after with Bert travelling to Colorado to be with the Icks.  I expect her mother to act like she is on death's door when they're there.  Then he can tell himself that Bert is such a good person she cannot leave her mother. 

[candall]

Well, I'm glad I woke up in time to share an emotional moment or two with you and the Merrifields.

Happy travels, everyone.

[Grifter Lives]

That was fun!  

I like to think that I have standards.  So, I draw the line at Welcome to Plathville and the Amish shows.  

See you on the boards!

[magemaud]

2 hours ago, PrincessPurrsALot said:

Sing along with me, "You're a big boy now!"

Next we’ll see Nick in a Pull Ups commercial 

[ladyscorpio]

I just got done watching this episode tonight and I have a few thoughts about everything and everyone....first off Danielle needs to stop treating Ick with kid gloves on. She has all these serious, legit concerns about him and Roberta ( which she should) but when she tries bringing them up to Ick, she's very passive about all of it and won't just come out and tell him she's afraid that if Roberta gets pregnant, he will up and leave his boys and her and move to Brazil. I think maybe she's afraid to come out and tell him her true feelings about all of this because she doesn't want to start arguing and risk losing him. Even though it would be his loss, not hers. I kinda feel bad for her, she has two innocent sons with him that are caught in the middle of this train wreck and I can't imagine how unimportant she must be feeling, her poor sons also. It's so obvious all he cares about is Roberta. He can't even get thru a call or say her name without bawling like a baby. It's annoying and I really want Danielle to stand up for herself and her boys and not put up with this nightmare situation any longer. I know it's easier said than done though. It makes it harder for her to leave him having kids with him. I feel bad for her boys. I'm sure they must be feeling scared and worried that their dad is going to up and leave them all for Roberta. The stress is wearing on Danielle so badly. She looks aged and exhausted all the time. She deserves better than what she's getting. There's nothing good in it for her and the boys. They're an afterthought in Ick's mind is what it looks like. I heard Danielle mention that they're sending her money, for what? For the plane ticket? Or do they send her money all the time? It looks like Roberta is just using them. The only time I hear Ick say that God is telling him they need to be with Roberta, is when he's around Danielle's parents. Now on to the other people, the black guy with the two white wives (I forgot their names) I don't think the nodding cabbage patch is ready to be committed to their family forever. She's too young and I don't see them lasting. The husband sure is proud of himself having it made with two women supporting him financially and he doesn't have to lift a finger except spewing out nonsense *trying to sound intelligent) when they walk in the door from work. And he has no ties to them legally so he can just split whenever it's no longer fun for him. It's like the "husband" has no standards who he's with. Not that he's a catch anyway.  As far as Sidian and Tosha, I see another Ick/Bert/Danielle trainwreck waiting to happen.  Tosha will soon be forgotten about if the other one comes to live with them and Sidian will be bawling on cue every time he sees his new wife or hears the mere mention of her  name. Lastly, the Epps family, if it's going good like it seems to be with just the three of them, they should leave it how it is. I can see India having a problem with the newest recruit. Especially if the new girl is only about being with Tiny Tim and not wanting to get to know the wives and wants no part in building a close relationship with them. I don't see it working out. 

[ladyscorpio]

4 hours ago, Grifter Lives said:

How is Marcus a politician and law-maker, if he believes that he has two wives?  "Between she and I," TLC sickens me with their bad illiteracy.

Another question, How is he a politician in Ohio yet they live in Florida. And don't politicians have to at least appear to having a squeaky clean image? ? He's putting all his skeevy behavior out in the open on national tv!!

[EtheltoTillie]

Marcus if you have to “sell” Janae on the polygamous lifestyle she’s not ever going to be interested. 

I don’t think Sidian and Tosha threw the first wife out. She left and left her children behind. There’s more of a story there. I wonder what it really is. 

Wow Icky is crying again. 

[magemaud]

8 hours ago, ladyscorpio said:

And don't politicians have to at least appear to having a squeaky clean image? ?

Not anymore, apparently

1 hour ago, EtheltoTillie said:

Marcus if you have to “sell” Janae on the polygamous lifestyle she’s not ever going to be interested. 

I can't understand why he's set his sights on Janae and now has to promote polygamy in the remote chance that she's interested. He should have started out by auditioning women he KNEW wanted that lifestyle, maybe from social media like the other horndogs on this show, then narrowed down the field from the crop of willing women. 

[Pepper Mostly]

And never mind that, he thinks if he and his "wives" somehow all basically stalk her, and probably get her in an empty room with a bare bulb and a rubber hose, they can talk her around! DUDE! Slow your fucking roll!