S04.E09: You Want All the Juicy Details?

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Quote

Dannielle feels Garrick and Roberta should not try for a baby until she's in Colorado. Sidian courts Arielle as Tosha's mom questions the lifestyle. The Davises get serious about Danielle joining their family. Marcus pursues Janae, but she isn't sold yet.

Dannielle shows some common sense.  Garrick, as always, does not. 

The Davises want sentient bobblehead Danielle to join the family.  Of course they do.  She cannot engage in a meaningful conversation.  They have little to nothing on common.  She comes off like she's 13 years old.  Yep, she's ready to join this mess of a family. Nick is happy to drag in anyone who can help pay the bills, tell him he's the bestest ever, and will have sex with him. 

Janae hopefully continues to show the sense she showed last week and says buh-bye to Marcus.  I wonder when she can get the next flight home? 

Original air date 2022.08.01

[Auntie Anxiety]

On 7/31/2022 at 1:22 PM, PrincessPurrsALot said:

The Davises want sentient bobblehead Danielle to join the family.  Of course they do.  She cannot engage in a meaningful conversation.  They have little to nothing in common. 

Wait! You forgot that they are all Mensa members.

[candall]

Well, I am leaving Rachel Maddow's lecture on the history of Ayman Al-Zawahiri to see whether Dannnnielle will approve Garrick having international sex with Bert if he snivels about it long enough.  My parents would be so proud.

.

I'm on board with Danielle II joining the Cult of Nick Worship. 

A lid Three lids for every pot.

[Auntie Anxiety]

Well, it turns out that I didn’t accomplish anything today, but I did do a lot of thinking, so there’s that.

[Auntie Anxiety]

The new sMothered lineup? Yikes.

[Pepper Mostly]

Hey frens! I cannot believe that I'm doing this. Can someone please pass the vodka?

Just now, Auntie Anxiety said:

The new sMothered lineup? Yikes.

Just watching the last five minutes of this makes me want to jump out a window. 

[Auntie Anxiety]

Just the previouslies and I’m already sickened. 

[Pepper Mostly]

Oh god that's right, Nick went to the bathroom after sexing up Danielle, and threw Jennifer a quickie on his way back to the family bed. There is not enough brain bleach in the WORLD.

[Auntie Anxiety]

Insipidian in first up. He needs a testosterone IV stat.

[Pepper Mostly]

Ooooh, manly man Sidian builds fire. 

And look at these two! They can't keep their hands off each other! And the conversation! So sparkling! 

[Grifter Lives]

Insipidian: Arielle & I think it couldn't get any better. . . so hang up now and leave us alone.

[Auntie Anxiety]

I’m not sure Arielle has it in her to be in a polygamous relationship. Does she have any childcare skills? 

[Pepper Mostly]

Sure, Tosha, just lob that awkward question. 

She wants to imagine Sidian and Arielle getting freaky while she has a nice wank at home. It will help her feel closer to them both. 

[Auntie Anxiety]

Hahaha, Insipidian just cursed the relationship with those words.

[Pepper Mostly]

OH FUCK OFF SIDIAN WITH YOUR FURROWED BROW AND HOLDING FORTH ABOUT "THE CHOICES YOU MAKE WHEN YOU LIVE THIS LIFESTYLE". He is shit. 

Sidian, you better hope that "something comes up", heh heh. 

[Grifter Lives]

It's not that Insipidian is cheap or poor.  He's just a nature-loving, hopeless romantic.  That's why Arielle gets sunsets and campfires, and Tosha gets internet phone calls.

[Auntie Anxiety]

Dannniellle, the worst case outcome is that Garrick decides to stay in Brazil. Or it may be the best case outcome. You decide.

[Pepper Mostly]

Brother Sam: You're still sleeping while I'm drinking my coffee

Pepper Mostly: But those days will be part of your past once your damp sniveling husband impregnates Bert and you'll be up with the birds doing baby care. You'll probably have to wait on her hand and foot and cook her tempting dainties when she's pregnant, too. 

Edited August 2, 2022 by Pepper Mostly

[sainte-chapelle]

So I think Tosha was a little passive aggressive with the questions 

they didn’t ask permission before becoming intimate and she is kinda pissed.  This is reality Tosh.0

[PrincessPurrsALot]

I really want Dannielle's brother to ask how much money they have sent Bert.   

[Pepper Mostly]

Dannnnnnielle looks rough. Is she full of novocain or something? Her face looks all weird. 

Oh Dannnnnnnielle. Bert is not coming. 

[Auntie Anxiety]

Sam is talking too much sense and Dannnniellle’s brain is about to explode.

[sainte-chapelle]

Cut to Bert secretly taking the pill

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Wow, someone actually said Garrick is being selfish.  I will now refer to him as Brother Obvious. 

[Grifter Lives]

Some of Dannnielle's comments sound like she's ready to ditch Garrick if Roberta comes, or if Roberta doesn't come.  She's anxious.

[Pepper Mostly]

Oooooh, trouble in Nick's Groovy Sexytime Paradise? Wife Jennifer is not down with bringing in another wife. She's been putting on the brakes from jump. 

1 minute ago, Grifter Lives said:

Some of Dannnielle's comments sound like she's ready to ditch Garrick if Roberta comes, or if Roberta doesn't come.  She's anxious.

God, I just want to shake her! Girl! WAKE THE HELL UP

[Auntie Anxiety]

Nick is considering his options.

[sainte-chapelle]

6 minutes ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Dannnnnnielle looks rough. Is she full of novocain or something? Her face looks all weird. 

Oh Dannnnnnnielle. Bert is not coming. 

Maybe she is opening a store with Azan

[Auntie Anxiety]

So my washing machine won’t get fixed until Thursday and I have a load of VERY wet sheets in there, much to wet for me to wring out. Not a good situation (heh). But at least I don’t think I’ll have to buy a new washer, so there's that.

Marcus just learned how conversations work? Okay.

[Pepper Mostly]

Marcus, there is no plan! You are a gross, skeevy horndog who's just trawling for pussy. You're like a shark. 

1 minute ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

So my washing machine won’t get fixed until Thursday and I have a load of VERY wet sheets in there, much to wet for me to wring out. Not a good situation (heh). But at least I don’t think I’ll have to buy a new washer, so there's that.

You'll just have to buy some new sheets. I'd jump at the chance! 

[Auntie Anxiety]

Is it too much to ask that Janae still realizes that Marcus’ “dynamic” sucks?

[Pepper Mostly]

Of course she didn't ask "how does this work?" She probably slammed that Uber door and thanked the lord Jesus for her deliverance. 

And now they're going to stalk her. How will she be able to resist?

[Grifter Lives]

How is Marcus a politician and law-maker, if he believes that he has two wives?  "Between she and I," TLC sickens me with their bad illiteracy.

[sainte-chapelle]

My friend was actually in a relationship like this for quite some time. When she tells me stories about her own past polygamy the whole thing sounded one sided and really emotionally abusive. She vehemently denies this but her stories were very shocking and she is in a happy monogamous marriage now and she still doesn’t see it, even years later…..I don’t get it….

[Auntie Anxiety]

Dannniellle has to beat around the bush because she’s not allowed to have an opinion.

[Grifter Lives]

Dannielle reminds Ick 1000 different ways that he's impotent.  Ick stupidly ponders, "What do a few weeks matter?"  His love is so deep that he dreads the flight time.

[Pepper Mostly]

Of course Garrick hates to fly. He's such a weenie. 

Dannnnnnnielle tells Garrick she thinks he should wait to bang Bert. He looks like a kid whose ice cream fell off the cone. 

[Auntie Anxiety]

Why can’t Bert get her own ticket? Was that ever explained (other than the fact that she’s slow walking the entire process)?

[Pepper Mostly]

Now he's ready to just fly to Brazil several times a year to get his rocks off. He's transparent as glass. He's too chickenshit to cheat outright so he has to come up with this cockamamie polygamy story. I just want to SLAP him. Hard. 

[Auntie Anxiety]

All of these issues are just dawning on Dannielllle at the 11th hour. 🤷‍♀️

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Dannielle was not being "very emotional".  She is being rational and logical. Ick is still thinking with little Ick.  He really thinks if he impregnates Bert she'll be with him forever. 

[sainte-chapelle]

Silly Danielle…of course it is all about Bert. He wants to knock her up so she is trapped and he will move there if he has to. Stupid Dani better have secured a financial future for the kids.

[Grifter Lives]

How Ick earned his name:

"Roberta is my family," and,  "Roberta is a part of me."

Nothing like incestuous masturbation.

[Pepper Mostly]

I am literally screaming at my TV right now! Jesus, Dannnnnnielle! What is it going to take to drag the scales from your eyes?

I am all for Mama Tosha. She knows what's what. 

Just now, sainte-chapelle said:

Silly Danielle…of course it is all about Bert. He wants to knock her up so she is trapped and he will move there if he has to. Stupid Dani better have secured a financial future for the kids.

She divorced Garrick so he could bring Bert here on a fiancee visa. I am prepared to bet the farm that her kids are not adequately protected. IF Bert comes, once she gets her hooves on that marriage license, Dannnnnnnnielle and those kids will be lucky to get a crust. 

[Pepper Mostly]

Wait, they're letting Nick unfold the blanket himself? 

[Grifter Lives]

This is an entire conversation, in really bad code, about polyamory.

[Pepper Mostly]

"If she's able or capable"?? What the fuck? Do we want to know this, really? 

Just now, Grifter Lives said:

This is an entire conversation, in really bad code, about polyamory.

Bingo

[Auntie Anxiety]

4 minutes ago, Pepper Mostly said:

5 minutes ago, sainte-chapelle said:

She divorced Garrick so he could bring Bert here on a fiancee visa. I am prepared to bet the farm that her kids are not adequately protected

She needed an iron clad document to protect herself and her kids, something that Garrick couldn’t change after he becomes a father again. I doubt she has that protection.

[Grifter Lives]

Just now, Pepper Mostly said:

"If she's able or capable"?? What the fuck? Do we want to know this, really? 

No.  Brain bleach has not yet erased the hot tub scenes from my memory.

[PrincessPurrsALot]

1 minute ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Wait, they're letting Nick unfold the blanket himself? 

Sing along with me, "You're a big boy now!"