MAFS Social Media, Spoilers & Speculation

[humbleopinion]

If Jamie Otis is anywhere near this upcoming show I will have to decline.

Jamie Odious is like the sound of fingernails raking across an infinite chalkboard while having the worse migraine.

Would like both David and Vanessa to be matched successfully.

Will there be new "experts" or if actual licensed experts on relationships pick the matches there may be a chance for David and Vanessa?

Wouldn't it be ironic if David was the perfect match for Vanessa?

Edited August 11, 2016 by humbleopinion
More nonsense

[Babyitsmb]

49 minutes ago, ctbabe said:

Did he actually ask her if he could smoke weed? How can he have ask someone that uptight if you could do that? 

Yeah in the unfiltered show his friend said he asked her and she said yeah then changed her mind and started bitching but in her pre show questionnaire she check off it was okay if they smoked so the exprts took her word for it and set her up with a man that smokes sometime but since she lied on the questionnaire and to the experts they didn't know she didn't want a guy that smokes

[ExplainItAgain]

4 hours ago, Lola16 said:

Heather's relationship personality reminds me of Christina's in Married by Mom & Dad.  She has a checklist of what she wants (even if she denies it) and measures the guy up against it.  The wedding is more important than the actual marriage.  And once it's done, and she's had her party, it's NEXT!  Christina's second fiance had to work triple time to get through the honeymoon and then even harder once it was over.  He was no pushover but he had to really keep pivoting to make it work.  I don't see Derek doing that.  Nor should he.

Yes, they seem very similar. And I totally wonder if Christina and Tom are still together...

[Evil Queen]

33 minutes ago, mbarry said:

Yeah in the unfiltered show his friend said he asked her and she said yeah then changed her mind and started bitching but in her pre show questionnaire she check off it was okay if they smoked so the exprts took her word for it and set her up with a man that smokes sometime but since she lied on the questionnaire and to the experts they didn't know she didn't want a guy that smokes

I don't think you caught what was said. She said did he ask her about weed not cigs or anything else. I doubt these questionnaires or "experts" are asking if if these people are ok with being matched with someone doing drugs or that they are really asking about that much at all from the looks of things. Derek looks frickin high all he time. I don't blame Heather for shutting him down. I doubt she would say its ok  if he smoked that at all. Because of editing we have no clue all of what went on either. He could have said if it was ok to smoke a cig and he started chainsmoking. Which that would not be occasional. I have a feeling though he didn't ask to smoke that though but it was weed...which the show won't show if its weed so it comes off like she is a bitch. 

[ctbabe]

35 minutes ago, Evil Queen said:

I don't think you caught what was said. She said did he ask her about weed not cigs or anything else. I doubt these questionnaires or "experts" are asking if if these people are ok with being matched with someone doing drugs or that they are really asking about that much at all from the looks of things. Derek looks frickin high all he time. I don't blame Heather for shutting him down. I doubt she would say its ok  if he smoked that at all. Because of editing we have no clue all of what went on either. He could have said if it was ok to smoke a cig and he started chainsmoking. Which that would not be occasional. I have a feeling though he didn't ask to smoke that though but it was weed...which the show won't show if its weed so it comes off like she is a bitch. 

Let me give you my own analogy. 

They went on honeymoon 2 days after the wedding. He smoked on day3 of marriage. I think that was when they got to the hotel in PR. The honeymoon was for 4nights and 5days. There is NO freaking way he would have smoked more than once since he is occasional smoker. According to the spoiler, which I think is ridiculous. She gave him permission to smoke but she feared he might keep doing that for the rest of their lives so she bailed. I believe the chainsmoking and frequent smoking allegation are all lies. She gave him permission because she was looking for a way out. She needed an excuse to bail. If she hated smoking, she should have shut the person down regardless of what they are smoking. 

http://lm.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.chattsportsnet.com%2Fentertainment%2Fmarried-first-sight-season-4-spoilers-will-derek-heathers-marriage-last%2F6677%2F&h=8AQHozTez&s=1

Derek was also stupid to ask his UPTIGHT wife, if he could smoke WEED. 

Edited August 12, 2016 by ctbabe

[crazychicken]

9 hours ago, ctbabe said:

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=531215200414804&id=296143973921929&fs=5

Thanks for the preview, does anybody get the vibe that Lily is getting sick of the constant call for affection her laughed seemed fake and while Tom went in for a real kiss she rubbed noses instead. I do think these guys make it long term but I wonder if Lily is changing her personality a little to make Tom happy.

 

Heather is so over Derek, she could not have been shorter with him when he commented on the speed they were riding, instead of slowing the whole attitude of suck it up that is me says to me that she does not care at all.

[Evil Queen]

I don't consider someone "uptight" because they have a problem with their new spouse smoking weed....which is illegal where they would live (not sure the laws where the honeymoon is). Yet at the same time how many of you all on Derek's side would be ok with what he is doing and hang on to that in a marriage? Or can sit by and say it was ok of the "experts" to put him on this show? It says she reluctantly said he could. Didn't mean she was full on ok with it and who would be. She had to have wondered where it came from. There are risks involved in this situation when its illegal. For her it could cost her a job if something was to happen. Even if it wasn't illegal where they live it still wouldn't mean uptight if she didn't like it. I hate that smell myself and to much of it and I start to fill sick. Its not fun having a neighbor a couple doors over that does a bunch of it some days with that smoke blowing in my home. Yet if he has a medical card for it nothing can be done unless the complex we are in said its not allowed (wish they would). In the end I think she had a good reason to bolt on this mess and fast. This idiot "experts" did NOT do there jobs again and there must not be drug testing involved in this show or they don't care if someone is maybe but he should never have been allowed on this show at all considering his dependence on it. Which is obvious. I see his buddies and him trying to spin it to make her the bad guy in it all too. 

[cecig75]

Smoking is a deal breaker for many people, but Heather would've found something else she didn't like about Derek. Smoking weed/cigarettes/cigars is not for everyone, but I'm still wondering why she would give him cigars as a wedding gift? 

I feel bad for her parents because they genuinely seemed happy for her. 

I personally like Derek...he has a kind smile and he is trying his best. I am also afraid he's gonna pull a David, which would make me look at him differently.

This might sound crazy, but what about a Derek/Jaclyn match??? She was my fave from season 2 :)

[ctbabe]

5 hours ago, Evil Queen said:

I don't consider someone "uptight" because they have a problem with their new spouse smoking weed....which is illegal where they would live (not sure the laws where the honeymoon is). Yet at the same time how many of you all on Derek's side would be ok with what he is doing and hang on to that in a marriage? Or can sit by and say it was ok of the "experts" to put him on this show? It says she reluctantly said he could. Didn't mean she was full on ok with it and who would be. She had to have wondered where it came from. There are risks involved in this situation when its illegal. For her it could cost her a job if something was to happen. Even if it wasn't illegal where they live it still wouldn't mean uptight if she didn't like it. I hate that smell myself and to much of it and I start to fill sick. Its not fun having a neighbor a couple doors over that does a bunch of it some days with that smoke blowing in my home. Yet if he has a medical card for it nothing can be done unless the complex we are in said its not allowed (wish they would). In the end I think she had a good reason to bolt on this mess and fast. This idiot "experts" did NOT do there jobs again and there must not be drug testing involved in this show or they don't care if someone is maybe but he should never have been allowed on this show at all considering his dependence on it. Which is obvious. I see his buddies and him trying to spin it to make her the bad guy in it all too. 

She is super-duper-uptight. I don't think it's about the smoking incident. She was already condemning him immediately they landed at PR. Remember the gambling comment. Did you also see how she was looking at him when he said he was going to request another drink. All these happened before the smoking incident. She was definitely checking the flaw checklist.

Background: I have never ever smoke or drank alcohol. If I were in her shoes, I would do the following 

1. I would communicate my likes and dislikes immediately. I believe shelving stuff is a very wrong approach. Remember how little Lilly told her husband about how she wants her toothpaste rolled. That's openess and its needed in this experiment. 

2. I would NEVER give him permission to smoke, if I hated it that much. She more or less set him up for failure. She knew she would never go out with guys that smoked after dinner and she allowed him smoke. Definitely a setup so she could run.

3. If my new husband TRIED to smoke weed, of course I would freak out. I would appreciate the fact that he asked me but I would definitely shut it down immediately. He would have to decide if he wants to smoke forever without me  or stay married and clean. Is it normal to freak out, Yes. But I would address the issue immediately. I would never let it grow into hate before addressing it.

Since he is an occasional smoker, I believe the habit could be dropped. He only smoked once on day 3 of the marriage so I don't think I would go all crazy but I would definitely shut it down. From my impression of Derek, I believe he would have dropped the habit if she had approached the topic well. He seems to genuinely like her and wants the marriage to work. BTW didn't his friend and Jaime say he stopped smoke after that ONE incident. 

What if he was all clean and perfect now but developed a cocaine habit 1year into their marriage, should she also run and avoid the mess? She will definitely keep running for the rest of her life. What is marriage if you can't help your partner? Marriage is about building each other up. If you RUN at the first sight of trouble, you are not ready. She was definitely not ready. They were many telling signs of her lack or readiness but the experts ignored it. 

Edited August 12, 2016 by ctbabe
More extras

[HZAnita]

I know more will come out later, but I am still not convinced that this was about weed.  At least not at this point.  Why would Derek start smoking pot on day 2 of the honeymoon unless she actually did give him permission?  Also, unless you are a complete pothead, that seems pretty risky and idiotic when you know you're being filmed. I guess I'm in the minority, but I don't see Derek as a pothead or an idiot.  He's got a job and reputation just like she does.  JMO.

[ctbabe]

1 hour ago, HZAnita said:

I know more will come out later, but I am still not convinced that this was about weed.  At least not at this point.  Why would Derek start smoking pot on day 2 of the honeymoon unless she actually did give him permission?  Also, unless you are a complete pothead, that seems pretty risky and idiotic when you know you're being filmed. I guess I'm in the minority, but I don't see Derek as a pothead or an idiot.  He's got a job and reputation just like she does.  JMO.

I also find it crazy that he would do something that risky on camera and also with a stranger. If true, I am sure he would be regretting his decision. 

[Snarklepuss]

Derek reminds me so much of a pothead I had a relationship with in college that I am having a hard time not seeing Heather's pissed off attitude at him as all about the pot.  Because I went into my relationship thinking this guy was "the one".  I was head over heels for him but his smoking was such a huge turnoff to me that it ended up being a major reason for ruining how I felt for the guy and my eventual breakup with him.  Heather just met Derek.  If she has that much of an aversion to weed for any reason, and if it is true that he smokes that much (which my gut instinct is telling me he does)  I don't blame her one bit for acting the way she's acting.  I understand why she said it was OK for him to smoke on the 1st day of the honeymoon - thinking it may be "occasional" like she may have wanted to believe or he lead her to believe.  But then finding out it was a lot more than "occasional" pissed her off and it was game over.  She is acting in those clips like something has majorly pissed her off.  Granted, she may have been cautious with Derek anyway, but this was just putting her over the top into full-on MAD.

[Snarklepuss]

14 hours ago, Evil Queen said:

She said did he ask her about weed not cigs or anything else. I doubt these questionnaires or "experts" are asking if if these people are ok with being matched with someone doing drugs or that they are really asking about that much at all from the looks of things. Derek looks frickin high all he time. I don't blame Heather for shutting him down. I doubt she would say its ok  if he smoked that at all. Because of editing we have no clue all of what went on either. He could have said if it was ok to smoke a cig and he started chainsmoking. Which that would not be occasional. I have a feeling though he didn't ask to smoke that though but it was weed...which the show won't show if its weed so it comes off like she is a bitch. 

ITA, and I said something similar upthread about the show not portraying this as about weed so it's making her look like she's upset over nothing and much more of a bitch than it looks like she has reason to be.

I personally have no problem believing that Derek could have stretched the truth or at best was misleading about his cigarette and/or weed smoking with the "experts".  They may or may not have asked him about weed but even if they did and he said "occasionally" Heather is right about how subjective that is.  His idea of "occasionally" may mean getting totally stoned 3 times a week, while hers may be having a joint at a party once in a while.  I think there is far more reason to believe that Derek under-represented his weed smoking.   And I personally have no problem with Heather being pissed off finding out that his idea of "occasionally" is really far more often than hers.  The EXPERTS should have nailed him down on what he meant by that - If they did and he lied they shouldn't be putting Dr. Pepper up there to make it look like this is all about cigarettes when it isn't.  That would be a bald-faced lie.  Plus then making it look like Heather said she was OK with "occasional" when the truth is that Derek may have said that but in reality was more like a "regular" user.  To me that is just reprehensible, but I don't put that past this show knowing what I do about it.

[Evil Queen]

5 hours ago, ctbabe said:

She is super-duper-uptight. I don't think it's about the smoking incident. She was already condemning him immediately they landed at PR. Remember the gambling comment. Did you also see how she was looking at him when he said he was going to request another drink. All these happened before the smoking incident. She was definitely checking the flaw checklist.

Background: I have never ever smoke or drank alcohol. If I were in her shoes, I would do the following 

1. I would communicate my likes and dislikes immediately. I believe shelving stuff is a very wrong approach. Remember how little Lilly told her husband about how she wants her toothpaste rolled. That's openess and its needed in this experiment. 

2. I would NEVER give him permission to smoke, if I hated it that much. She more or less set him up for failure. She knew she would never go out with guys that smoked after dinner and she allowed him smoke. Definitely a setup so she could run.

3. If my new husband TRIED to smoke weed, of course I would freak out. I would appreciate the fact that he asked me but I would definitely shut it down immediately. He would have to decide if he wants to smoke forever without me  or stay married and clean. Is it normal to freak out, Yes. But I would address the issue immediately. I would never let it grow into hate before addressing it.

Since he is an occasional smoker, I believe the habit could be dropped. He only smoked once on day 3 of the marriage so I don't think I would go all crazy but I would definitely shut it down. From my impression of Derek, I believe he would have dropped the habit if she had approached the topic well. He seems to genuinely like her and wants the marriage to work. BTW didn't his friend and Jaime say he stopped smoke after that ONE incident. 

What if he was all clean and perfect now but developed a cocaine habit 1year into their marriage, should she also run and avoid the mess? She will definitely keep running for the rest of her life. What is marriage if you can't help your partner? Marriage is about building each other up. If you RUN at the first sight of trouble, you are not ready. She was definitely not ready. They were many telling signs of her lack or readiness but the experts ignored it. 

Not everyone though is open to be communicated with in that manner though either. Since she doesn't know him well maybe she isn't sure how to approach it at this point. Or she did and we didn't see it so she could be edited as the bad guy in this relationship. 

We honestly have no clue what he asked he could smoke around her. He could have said mind if I have a smoke and she said I guess so because she assumed it was a cig but in return it ends up being pot or both. Even if he did ask to smoke pot in front of her, according to the article (if what is said in it is true) you posted it said she reluctantly said yes. I would bet anything it was off camera. I am doubting he is an occasional pot smoker with how he looks in every scene and could just drop the habit. His look and manner is screaming high. He is dependent on this and who knows what else. Sure he has a job too but not all jobs are going to be overly picky on that stuff if its done off the job or care. Which she might have side eyed the drink because he had a few already. With editing we have no clue though. With the gambling I don't see her condemning him in that. Not everyone likes it for one reason or another. It came off as small talk in the car. I can imagine there was more to that talk than we got on tv though. I didn't see her at all looking for an easy way out from the get go. During the wedding she was saying he was good looking and was trying even though she did say there wasn't the chemistry there yet. They went to bed in the one shot with her in his arms. That didn't come off in any of that as her looking for a way out. Yet she could have been seeing signs of issues with something and not able to put her finger on it right away until the honeymoon when he lights up. 

I think many can say well I would do this or that in this situation but it might be different if you were really in it. Especially if you are not sure how the person might take what you say or how you say it. If the guy has an addiction to anything, you can't help them. They person with a problem has to want the help. Why do you think this kind of problem destroys relationships? If you made the person you are with get help, more than likely they will just fall off the wagon and go back into old habits of their problem. So its not so simple to say one should just stick by that person. With Heather maybe she has been there and done that in the past with a bad outcome. We have no clue. Yet I don't blame those that do get out of those kind of relationships since many can turn into worse.

I can not believe that some are thinking its ok that the "experts" put Derek on this show. As I said on the friends/family being talked to they will spin it how they want to as well or from what they get told by Derek...which being told by him what went on doesn't mean the truth either.

[Evil Queen]

9 minutes ago, Snarklepuss said:

ITA, and I said something similar upthread about the show not portraying this as about weed so it's making her look like she's upset over nothing and much more of a bitch than it looks like she has reason to be.

I personally have no problem believing that Derek could have stretched the truth or at best was misleading about his cigarette and/or weed smoking with the "experts".  They may or may not have asked him about weed but even if they did and he said "occasionally" Heather is right about how subjective that is.  His idea of "occasionally" may mean getting totally stoned 3 times a week, while hers may be having a joint at a party once in a while.  I think there is far more reason to believe that Derek under-represented his weed smoking.   And I personally have no problem with Heather being pissed off finding out that his idea of "occasionally" is really far more often than hers.  The EXPERTS should have nailed him down on what he meant by that - If they did and he lied they shouldn't be putting Dr. Pepper up there to make it look like this is all about cigarettes when it isn't.  That would be a bald-faced lie.  Plus then making it look like Heather said she was OK with "occasional" when the truth is that Derek may have said that but in reality was more like a "regular" user.  To me that is just reprehensible, but I don't put that past this show knowing what I do about it.

Well said!! I agree they should have asked what occasionally meant to all of them when that word is used. I am doubting this show asks them about their drug habits or that most would admit to having one at all or using when its illegal. Yet I don't put anything past this show either at this point on how they ask things, do things or match. 

[Snarklepuss]

5 minutes ago, Evil Queen said:

I can not believe that some are thinking its ok that the "experts" put Derek on this show. As I said on the friends/family being talked to they will spin it how they want to as well or from what they get told by Derek...which being told by him what went on doesn't mean the truth either.

ITA - I get why people want to find fault with Heather.  She already has a puss on her face so it's easy to find fault with her, but she may have a good reason for it which they're not showing on TV.  I also get why people want to like Derek.  He seems like he may actually be a great guy in many ways.  Even so, I learned the hard way in life that you have to stand your ground about deal breakers with the opposite sex or it will cause you a lot of pain in the long run.  It doesn't matter if he's a great guy, cute, has a great career, nice, etc. if he has this ONE HUGE HONKING FATAL FLAW that will totally poison the relationship, you're going to be miserable.  I don't blame Heather for not giving him a chance and wanting to find fault with him in other ways.  She has to live with breaking up with someone that may actually be nice in every other way because she can't live with THIS ONE THING.  And that has to be very hard for her to face, which is why she looks like such a bitch.  This is a huge undertaking and it can be crushing to her to find out so soon that she was not going to find the relationship of her dreams with this guy.  It's even harder the nicer the guy is.  I know all this from experience.  When I broke up with my pothead boyfriend back in college it was so hard for me I threw up and was depressed for MONTHS afterward.  You would think he broke up with ME!  I knew it was for the best, though, and knowing what I know about him today I know I made the right decision.

[WichitaStateShock]

I guess I'm having trouble understanding where this he smokes pot thing came from. There were rumblings after the first episode because he was squinting... Then this article comes out saying it's weed and she gives back the ring. Well from the season previews we know someone gives back the ring (again this preview showed prior to the article). I think the article is using gossip from sites such as this (squinting eyes, must be a stoner) and the season previews to make a story. Granted I've never smoked weed but I have a lot of laid back friends who act like Derek but sure as heck don't smoke weed.

[cardigirl]

28 minutes ago, WichitaStateShock said:

I guess I'm having trouble understanding where this he smokes pot thing came from. There were rumblings after the first episode because he was squinting... Then this article comes out saying it's weed and she gives back the ring.

Um, what article, please?  I've not seen anything about a ring being given back.  Thanks in advance for any link you might have.

[Neurochick]

7 hours ago, ctbabe said:

She is super-duper-uptight. I don't think it's about the smoking incident. She was already condemning him immediately they landed at PR. Remember the gambling comment. Did you also see how she was looking at him when he said he was going to request another drink. All these happened before the smoking incident. She was definitely checking the flaw checklist.

 

This is my issue with Heather.  She had not mentioned smoking to Derek (and if smoking bothered her, why give him cigars as a wedding gift?) yet, but she gave him the side eye when he mentioned gambling, and she did give him a strange look when he said he was going to get another drink.  I felt Heather was looking for things to be wrong with Derek.  I didn't see that in Sonia, who as a social worker has probably seen some serious dark shit; she didn't seem to be watching Nick and waiting for him to screw up.  That's my issue with Heather, that she's looking for things to go wrong.  

If I were on the show, I'd say, no smoking, no drinking, no drugs.  And if someone said they smoked "occasionally" I'd say, "no way," because occasional for one person may be frequent for another.

[WichitaStateShock]

13 minutes ago, cardigirl said:

Um, what article, please?  I've not seen anything about a ring being given back.  Thanks in advance for any link you might have.

Its a page or two back on this thread, someone posted a link to an article

[ctbabe]

5 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

This is my issue with Heather.  She had not mentioned smoking to Derek (and if smoking bothered her, why give him cigars as a wedding gift?) yet, but she gave him the side eye when he mentioned gambling, and she did give him a strange look when he said he was going to get another drink.  I felt Heather was looking for things to be wrong with Derek.  I didn't see that in Sonia, who as a social worker has probably seen some serious dark shit; she didn't seem to be watching Nick and waiting for him to screw up.  That's my issue with Heather, that she's looking for things to go wrong.  

If I were on the show, I'd say, no smoking, no drinking, no drugs.  And if someone said they smoked "occasionally" I'd say, "no way," because occasional for one person may be frequent for another.

Thank you so much for your comment. She was DEFINITELY looking for red flags. He dumbly played into her hands, if the smoking allegation is true. 

I noticed that the producers put subtle clues all through the season.

[cardigirl]

9 minutes ago, WichitaStateShock said:

Its a page or two back on this thread, someone posted a link to an article

Oh, well, can't find it.  I've googled for an article where it says she gives the ring back, and all I can find are articles speculating that she will probably give the ring back early.    So, I don't think it's something that's been verified.  Yet. 

It's like saying Heather is a recovering alcoholic, based on a preview where Derek accused her of being an alcoholic.  It's not a fact, that we know of, yet.  

Edited August 12, 2016 by cardigirl

[henrysmom]

Quote

Um, what article, please?  I've not seen anything about a ring being given back.  Thanks in advance for any link you might have.

I think people are referring to this article, but it only mentions pot and that the couple broke up before the end of the six weeks, nothing about a ring.  

http://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/heather-seidel-derek-schwartz-married-at-first-sight-drug-scandal-109728

[ctbabe]

1 minute ago, cardigirl said:

Oh, well, can't find it.  I've googled for an article where is says she gives the ring back, and all I can find are articles speculating that she will probably give the ring back early.    So, I don't think it's something that's been verified.  Yet. 

It's like saying Heather is a recovering alcoholic, based on a preview where Derek accused her of being an alcoholic.  It's not a fact, that we know of, yet.  

I went on the MAFs fan page and most people are saying it's confirmed. Don't know who confirmed it. People assume that once things are written on a lot of blog that means it's true. Ridiculous

 

This women supporting women movement has really been bothering me. I notice season 2 and some of this season women have been saying that stuff. What exactly is it? I understand never bashing a woman about her looks or maybe body type. But when a woman acts the fool, am I suppose to support her because she is a woman? Or when there is an issue with a couple, do I always need to support the woman? What happened to speaking the truth. I believe in doing what is right so I support anybody regardless of the gender. 

[Jellybeans]

I have not noticed subtle pot clues by producers.  The only pot references I have seen are here on the forum.  I am not saying they aren't true but I have not seen any evidence that it is true either.  

All I have seen is booze and a gift of cigars from Heather to Derick.

[henrysmom]

Quote

I went on the MAFs fan page and most people are saying it's confirmed. 

I think to some people "confirmed" means "I read it somewhere so it must be true".  Even if it was just speculation in the first place.  

[ExplainItAgain]

I think it's weird that it was off camera and leads me to think it could be pot. Why wouldn't they show a quick clip of Derek smoking? Even if it just happened to be off camera this first time, I feel certain in the coming episodes they will try to get it on camera if it's just cigs. Especially being pedantic about the word "occasionally" - they could show him lighting up several times. So, maybe we'll find out more to come.

[ctbabe]

17 minutes ago, Jellybeans said:

I have not noticed subtle pot clues by producers.  The only pot references I have seen are here on the forum.  I am not saying they aren't true but I have not seen any evidence that it is true either.  

All I have seen is booze and a gift of cigars from Heather to Derick.

Subtle hints about the participants especially Heather. 

[Snarklepuss]

I don't think it matters whether or not Heather gave the ring back.  If she left and they're no longer together who cares?  I think someone saw that coming attraction where they show a woman's hands with her taking off the ring and putting it down and assumed it was Heather.  I personally thought it was Sonia who did that in the attractions even though they didn't show the woman's face.  It just seemed like her.  Didn't someone on this board say that one of Derek's friends confirmed somewhere online that the breakup was about Heather not liking Derek's weed usage?  I am forgetting now, been too busy to follow that closely......

[ctbabe]

11 minutes ago, ExplainItAgain said:

I think it's weird that it was off camera and leads me to think it could be pot. Why wouldn't they show a quick clip of Derek smoking? Even if it just happened to be off camera this first time, I feel certain in the coming episodes they will try to get it on camera if it's just cigs. Especially being pedantic about the word "occasionally" - they could show him lighting up several times. So, maybe we'll find out more to come.

But  since this smoking issue might have happened once. They might not have anything to show

[Babyitsmb]

i dont think it has anything to do with weed i believe she went on the show then when she got on the show she realized she wasnt ready for marriage so she had to find a way out and the weed issue just happend to be her ticket out 

[BunnySlippers]

14 minutes ago, Snarklepuss said:

I don't think it matters whether or not Heather gave the ring back.  If she left and they're no longer together who cares?  I think someone saw that coming attraction where they show a woman's hands with her taking off the ring and putting it down and assumed it was Heather.  I personally thought it was Sonia who did that in the attractions even though they didn't show the woman's face.  It just seemed like her.  Didn't someone on this board say that one of Derek's friends confirmed somewhere online that the breakup was about Heather not liking Derek's weed usage?  I am forgetting now, been too busy to follow that closely......

I think it was Sonia, too, taking off her ring in the car. It was in one of the previews.

Heather is not the warmest person on the planet, but I don't understand why people are giving Derek a free pass if he smokes pot. Like several people have pointed out, it's illegal in FL and she has to be concerned about her job. She can't have a pothead for a husband when she's a flight attendant and goes through regular drug testing (I don't know if those tests involve dogs that sniff out stuff like that - which they could smell on her even if she herself wasn't a user -, but still). She did say several times that she found him attractive, so I think it's the personality traits that she's been picking up on that she doesn't like. These 6 weeks are the time when she's supposed to figure out if she wants to stay married or not, so of course she's paying attention to whether it's someone she'd want to spend the rest of her life with. If smoking weed is something she does not want to live with, then I think that's understandable, and it doesn't mean that she's just looking for reasons to get out of this marriage because she's not ready to be married.

[ExplainItAgain]

26 minutes ago, ctbabe said:

But  since this smoking issue might have happened once. They might not have anything to show

Well, that's why I said more to probably come. I'm sure they won't have any problem showing it if it's just cigarettes. Surely it will happen on camera in the future.

[WichitaStateShock]

4 minutes ago, BunnySlippers said:

 

Heather is not the warmest person on the planet, but I don't understand why people are giving Derek a free pass if he smokes pot.

I don't think people are giving him a free pass.  For me there simple isn't any evidence that this is pot so I'm reacting as if it was about cigarette smoking. 

[ctbabe]

15 minutes ago, ExplainItAgain said:

Well, that's why I said more to probably come. I'm sure they won't have any problem showing it if it's just cigarettes. Surely it will happen on camera in the future.

But she ran after the first time. I am kind of confused with the people saying he is a pot addict. How did they arrive at that conclusion? Do they know him personally? Do they know Heather personally? 

[BunnySlippers]

4 minutes ago, ctbabe said:

But she ran after the first time. I am kind of confused with the people saying he is a pot addict. How did they arrive at that conclusion? Do they know him personally? Do they know Heather personally? 

I said if he smokes weed. If he smokes weed, then it's understandable if Heather doesn't want him for a husband. If it was just a regular cigarette here and there, then yes, she shouldn't be so quick to judge, especially since she said on the questionnaire that she was okay with occasional smoking. But if it's weed, then she does have cause for concern.

By the same token, people who say Heather has already checked out and she's not ready for marriage and she's just looking for a way out, how do they know? Do they know Heather personally? I think we should just wait and see how things will develop.

[Jellybeans]

I think most of us agree pot is a problem in Florida.  It is illegal there.  I think we are teying to be careful not to paint him as a pothead just because someone may or may not have said something. There is no evidence. Maybe later there will be. Maybe not.

I thought the ring throwing was Sonia too.  LOL.

[Jack Sampson]

7 minutes ago, ctbabe said:

But she ran after the first time. I am kind of confused with the people saying he is a pot addict. How did they arrive at that conclusion? Do they know him personally? Do they know Heather personally? 

If he smoked weed at a party where everyone else was too, that would be occasional and probably not a problem.  If he HAD to smoke by himself to get through dinner, it creates the impression that he was jonesing and held out as long as he could (less than 3 days).

[Waterlilly]

Did Heather flash her boobs at Mardi Gras or The Regatta in Biscayne Bay?  The Regatta is quite a wild event on the water with lots of booze, drugs, porn and big money for three days during Columbus Day weekend.  I'm surprised she is so up tight, maybe it is about her job or rep,  she should have been more honest on her questions  

[Jack Sampson]

1 minute ago, Waterlilly said:

Did Heather flash her boobs at Mardi Gras or The Regatta in Biscayne Bay?  The Regatta is quite a wild event on the water with lots of booze, drugs, porn and big money for three days during Columbus Day weekend.  I'm surprised she is so up tight, maybe it is about her job or rep,  she should have been more honest on her questions  

Judging by the reports, it looks like it was spring break when she was 19 at Lake Havasu.  She was on a boat flashing the beach.  It's pretty standard stuff for spring break.

[Waterlilly]

Thanks Jack!  That was quite a while ago then. 

[ctbabe]

19 minutes ago, Jack Sampson said:

Judging by the reports, it looks like it was spring break when she was 19 at Lake Havasu.  She was on a boat flashing the beach.  It's pretty standard stuff for spring break.

But the DUI was in 2012/2013. 

Edited August 12, 2016 by ctbabe

[henrysmom]

I watched the Unfiltered episodes to see if pot was mentioned specifically (it wasn't--just vague comments about it being "something he did in a mood of vacation and enjoyment" from Derek's friend and how people involved in this show need to keep an open mind) and I thought it was interesting that Heather's family and friends were not represented anywhere in the three Unfiltered episodes I watched.  

Derek, Sonia and Chris all had friends speaking.  Nick's mother and her boyfriend spoke, and Lily's friend and sister spoke.  Nobody for Heather.  I know they showed her parents at the wedding, but I can't remember anybody else.  Who appeared in her "telling the friends and family the stupid thing I've signed up for" segment? I can't remember who Heather told.  Does anybody remember if she had more representation other than her parents?

I can see her parents not wanting to appear on Unfiltered, but you'd think they could at least find one friend wiling to sit with Jamie Otis for an FYI paycheck.  

[ctbabe]

40 minutes ago, BunnySlippers said:

I said if he smokes weed. If he smokes weed, then it's understandable if Heather doesn't want him for a husband. If it was just a regular cigarette here and there, then yes, she shouldn't be so quick to judge, especially since she said on the questionnaire that she was okay with occasional smoking. But if it's weed, then she does have cause for concern.

By the same token, people who say Heather has already checked out and she's not ready for marriage and she's just looking for a way out, how do they know? Do they know Heather personally? I think we should just wait and see how things will develop.

I can give you a long list of why I think so based on her comments on the show but I would take your advise and wait to see how things develop. 

[Jack Sampson]

17 minutes ago, ctbabe said:

But the DUI was in 2012/2013. 

Indeed.  And I would consider a DUI to be much worse than flashing boobs at spring break.  Who wouldn't want to see her boobs...at 19.

[henrysmom]

Quote

people who say Heather has already checked out

Based solely what I've seen on the show, I think this.  But hey, she might surprise me.  And I kind of hope so because it would be really cool to have three successful couples this year.  It would make a change anyway.  

In the first episodes I really had high hopes for all three couples.  It was just with the "Just Married" episode I started to wonder about Heather.  She seemed really, really intent on looking for red flags.  Or any kind of subtle hint that Derek wasn't absolutely perfect in every way.  But maybe she'll realize that Derek isn't perfect but that's okay because she isn't either and that nobody is, so you have to kind of weigh the good with the bad and decide if the person's flaws are ones you can live with.  But she sure is getting the Evil edit, that is for sure.

[ctbabe]

 ThINGs that baffles me are 

1. why is Derek still posting lots of of pictures about them on SM? Even after the rumor broke. He still tries to tag her in tweet that only mention the other 2 wives to keep her involved. Maybe he isn't mad at her or he has moved on.

2. Why didn't Heather post at least 1 picture of them together? Does She hate him that much? She is retweeting stuff from the producers and experts but not Derek. If she is truly angry, shouldn't she be also angry at the experts for giving her Derek?

3. What did she mean by this tweet? Is she dating someone else barely 3 months after her short marriage? Or are they still together? 

 

4. I don't know why people are saying Lillian and Tom making out is gross.. I would take this over the coldness of last season. 

5. Some participants are definitely on Derek's side. I would keep that has a secret for now ;) 

Edited August 12, 2016 by ctbabe

[Jack Sampson]

5 minutes ago, ctbabe said:

 

 

It's always the girl who doesn't communicate talking about how communication is key.

[Evil Queen]

4 hours ago, Snarklepuss said:

ITA - I get why people want to find fault with Heather.  She already has a puss on her face so it's easy to find fault with her, but she may have a good reason for it which they're not showing on TV.  I also get why people want to like Derek.  He seems like he may actually be a great guy in many ways.  Even so, I learned the hard way in life that you have to stand your ground about deal breakers with the opposite sex or it will cause you a lot of pain in the long run.  It doesn't matter if he's a great guy, cute, has a great career, nice, etc. if he has this ONE HUGE HONKING FATAL FLAW that will totally poison the relationship, you're going to be miserable.  I don't blame Heather for not giving him a chance and wanting to find fault with him in other ways.  She has to live with breaking up with someone that may actually be nice in every other way because she can't live with THIS ONE THING.  And that has to be very hard for her to face, which is why she looks like such a bitch.  This is a huge undertaking and it can be crushing to her to find out so soon that she was not going to find the relationship of her dreams with this guy.  It's even harder the nicer the guy is.  I know all this from experience.  When I broke up with my pothead boyfriend back in college it was so hard for me I threw up and was depressed for MONTHS afterward.  You would think he broke up with ME!  I knew it was for the best, though, and knowing what I know about him today I know I made the right decision.

I don't get it either. I just know I have that look on my face when I have to smell the pot smoke from the neighbor. Its gross and I can't help how my face looks from smelling that. LOL When we have the oil wells/whatever you call them giving off there nasty "burps", as we call them, I make that face too. I can imagine anyone will get a look similar when they come across something they don't like the smell of or something they may not like. Sometimes its hard to hide that look from others. I do think there is a reason for the look on her face though. 

2 hours ago, ctbabe said:

I went on the MAFs fan page and most people are saying it's confirmed. Don't know who confirmed it. People assume that once things are written on a lot of blog that means it's true. Ridiculous

 

This women supporting women movement has really been bothering me. I notice season 2 and some of this season women have been saying that stuff. What exactly is it? I understand never bashing a woman about her looks or maybe body type. But when a woman acts the fool, am I suppose to support her because she is a woman? Or when there is an issue with a couple, do I always need to support the woman? What happened to speaking the truth. I believe in doing what is right so I support anybody regardless of the gender. 

I think people just see him and can figure out for themselves that the dude is high. Its not that they are reading a blog or tabloid site but he looks it. 

I am not sure about what is up with the women supporting thing with the seasons. Obviously though I would take anything the Season 2 women do or say with a grain of salt. The men were horrible but hell so was the women they put in there too IMO. For me sure its not ok to body shame and such but it doesn't mean as women we should always support every single woman around. There are some in this world I would never speak up for or support and I can say they probably wouldn't either. Its just the "in" thing to do try to be like IMO. Your last sentence is how I feel as well. Why support one gender over the other? There are times when the man should have that support and not a woman. Just as sometimes is the other way around. 

2 hours ago, BunnySlippers said:

I think it was Sonia, too, taking off her ring in the car. It was in one of the previews.

Heather is not the warmest person on the planet, but I don't understand why people are giving Derek a free pass if he smokes pot. Like several people have pointed out, it's illegal in FL and she has to be concerned about her job. She can't have a pothead for a husband when she's a flight attendant and goes through regular drug testing (I don't know if those tests involve dogs that sniff out stuff like that - which they could smell on her even if she herself wasn't a user -, but still). She did say several times that she found him attractive, so I think it's the personality traits that she's been picking up on that she doesn't like. These 6 weeks are the time when she's supposed to figure out if she wants to stay married or not, so of course she's paying attention to whether it's someone she'd want to spend the rest of her life with. If smoking weed is something she does not want to live with, then I think that's understandable, and it doesn't mean that she's just looking for reasons to get out of this marriage because she's not ready to be married.

If I remember right it was Sonia that did take the ring off and in the car. As for Derek, I don't get it either. Unless someone was one as well or didn't care that they are married to one it is an issue and he shouldn't be getting a free pass on it. Agree with what you are saying on things with that situation. 

2 hours ago, WichitaStateShock said:

I don't think people are giving him a free pass.  For me there simple isn't any evidence that this is pot so I'm reacting as if it was about cigarette smoking. 

I see some giving him a pass on it no matter what he is smoking. IMO the dude looks high in ever scene. I think I can count 2, maybe 3, short clips he didn't and was more wide eyed but soon after it was back to his looking stoned. 

28 minutes ago, ctbabe said:

She is retweeting stuff from the producers and experts but not Derek. If she is truly angry, shouldn't she be also angry at the experts for giving her Derek?

3. What did she mean by this tweet? Is she dating someone else barely 3 months after her short marriage? Or are they still together? 

 

No clue why any of them bother with the retweeting but maybe they are told to do so. Yet I doubt she is angry/bitter at Derek BUT I do think she should be at the "experts" for putting them together. Because I don't go on SM I am asking those that do....does every person on the show retweet the BS that the producers/"experts" put out? If so I am thinking it must be in the contract to do so. 

If she was dating someone after a 3 month marriage (if it lasted that long) does it really matter....more so considering it wasn't like most marriages where the couple was in love when going into it. Heck even those kind that split up you see it happen shortly after a divorce or split. Yet I am not getting she is dating someone from those tweets. 

[HZAnita]

Even though Derek may be a total pothead, I haven't seen any evidence of it on the show (and I don't possess a "weed-dar" like some of you. lol).  Therefore, I am making my judgments based on what has aired on the show.  So far, Heather seems, in her own words, "turned off."  I don't know why just yet, but I'm sure she will give an explanation.  I really don't dislike Heather.  In fact, she seems like she'd be a cool girlfriend to hang out with on the weekends - especially if she could get me free flights and likes to drink wine.  IMO, she was just not ready for marriage, or the intensity of the show, or she just didn't connect with Derek in the way she'd hoped.