S03.E08: BFF

[TexasGal]

Quote

Ruth isn't happy about Marty and Wendy's plan to bury the hatchet with Frank Jr.  The Byrdes make a difficult decision about Ben.  Maya is reprimanded.

Airdate 03.27.2020

Keep your discussion to this episode only - thank you!

[DoctorAtomic]

I'm glad Helen blew up at Wendy. Getting rid of Sue was the right call, and they were ridiculously at risk for blowing up and spilling it all in front of her. 

Fantastic reaction shot by Charlotte when Erin planted one on the brother. 

Uh oh. That look on Helen's face when Ben started yelling. I don't want to be on the end of that look. After 8 episodes, they could have lost this entire storyline and the show would have been fine. I guess the point is that everything affecting them puts on undue risk, but I already knew that so it's not like it added anything. 

Edited March 29, 2020 by DoctorAtomic

[leighdear]

I have hated Ben from the beginning, and I hope he gets put down like the rabid dog he is.  Ruth is no angel, but she doesn't need yet another demented, egotistical asshole controlling her and ruining what tiny shred of self-esteem she's managed to develop.  

They have spent WAY too much time on him, his incessant ranting bores me silly.  They need to stop it.

Die Ben!

Edited March 30, 2020 by leighdear

[Mr. R0b0t]

I do not care for the Ben character much, but the actor is killing it so far.

 

Also, let me get this straight...Ben drove to KC for a fight that he got intimidated out of in Ruth's SUV, then goes to a swanky hotel bar also in KC instead of back home?  He picks a fight, gets arrested, then Ruth shows picks him up driving her SUV?  How did she get to KC?

[leighdear]

22 minutes ago, Mr. R0b0t said:

I do not care for the Ben character much, but the actor is killing it so far.

 

Also, let me get this straight...Ben drove to KC for a fight that he got intimidated out of in Ruth's SUV, then goes to a swanky hotel bar also in KC instead of back home?  He picks a fight, gets arrested, then Ruth shows picks him up driving her SUV?  How did she get to KC?

The fact that the actor makes me hate his character so much definitely proves he's doing a great job. 

I think when Ben got hauled in, Ruth probably took a cab from the casino boat to the police station to bail him out.  I don't think they showed her arriving there in her truck, just driving away from the cop shop with Ben in her passenger seat.  

[DoctorAtomic]

39 minutes ago, leighdear said:

The fact that the actor makes me hate his character so much definitely proves he's doing a great job. 

The actor being good and the plot being shoehorned are mutually exclusive. 

1 hour ago, leighdear said:

Ruth is no angel, but she doesn't need yet another demented, egotistical asshole controlling her and ruining what tiny shred of self-esteem she's managed to develop.

The growth she's had to this point where she's running a casino, basically considered a made man, and scheduling the laundering drops really strains me to think she's getting into this guy. I guess the choices are slim in the area or she's lonely, but they aren't really selling it. 

[sas616]

On 3/30/2020 at 7:49 PM, Mr. R0b0t said:

I do not care for the Ben character much, but the actor is killing it so far.

He really is.  I remember when he 1st appeared on Guiding Light nearly 20 yrs. ago.  He was brilliant as Reva's long-lost son,  Jonathon Randall.

[Raja]

On 3/29/2020 at 3:32 PM, DoctorAtomic said:

I'm glad Helen blew up at Wendy. Getting rid of Sue was the right call, and they were ridiculously at risk for blowing up and spilling it all in front of her. 

Fantastic reaction shot by Charlotte when Erin planted one on the brother. 

Uh oh. That look on Helen's face when Ben started yelling. I don't want to be on the end of that look. After 8 episodes, they could have lost this entire storyline and the show would have been fine. I guess the point is that everything affecting them puts on undue risk, but I already knew that so it's not like it added anything. 

My only question is will we get a graphic scene or will he go out like the therapist. 

[CynicalGirl]

On 4/13/2020 at 1:52 PM, sas616 said:

He really is.  I remember when he 1st appeared on Guiding Light nearly 20 yrs. ago.  He was brilliant as Reva's long-lost son,  Jonathon Randall.

It was driving me nuts trying to figure out where I knew him from. Banshee. He played the former skinhead tattooed guy who became a cop. Reminds me of Keanu Reeves.

[Dobian]

Oh Ben, Helen gave you a look that if this was Greek mythology you would have turned to stone right there.  And yes, the actor does look like Keanu Reeves!

[scrb]

The Ben character is so unbearable.  His voice, the things he says.  And probably a bad thing to say but that accent too.

They gave the character a condition so that he can’t be fully guilty for the things he says or does.

But I can’t believe the kids or Marty wouldn’t be hating him or that Ruth would fall for him.

I understand that they needed another wildcard element, like Petty or Russ, to put the Byrdes under stress.

 

But this stupid character ...

 

At the end of the series, they will probably feel guilty or devastated about him being one of the victims.  

They should have sent him away as soon as he showed up with that irritating drawl.

[DoctorAtomic]

9 hours ago, scrb said:

They gave the character a condition so that he can’t be fully guilty for the things he says or does.

Yes, that's what's bothering me about it. It's not a bad idea to have an outsider coming in to the show, but it kind of gives him a pass on anything he does so he's effectively a walking plot point. 

9 hours ago, scrb said:

They should have sent him away as soon as he showed up with that irritating drawl.

To be fair, Marty did tell him to leave. Wendy wanted him to stay out of spite. 

[Anela]

I'm going to miss the therapist, and I don't like the Ben character, but I loathe that these people can just kill people who know too much about them. It's insane, and I'm not rooting for them. I'd much rather see them be taken down by his big mouth, but it won't happen.

[SlovakPrincess]

As frustrating as Ben is as a character, the actor is absolutely killing it and I just love him.  However -- does being off his meds also make Ben irretrievably stupid??  He's not just lashing out violently and having outbursts at his sister in inconvenient places now, he is going out of his way to anger someone he knows is a drug cartel operative who orders hits on people.  The Ben-confronting-Helen-and-yelling-at-her-daughter scene was a huge eye roll for me ... and how does he even know where she lives??

And of course Darlene The Walking Plot Point swoops in and makes this implausible scenario possible.  🙄

I actually felt bad for Wendy when she was sobbing to hear her brother screaming and crying.  Although it occurs to me this is like a weird, ultra violent version of Laura Linney's plot line in Love Actually.  

Charlotte was a sweetheart to remind Jonah to be happy about his first kiss, instead of focusing on how the night ended for Ben.  

Edited May 17, 2022 by SlovakPrincess

[paramitch]

I haven't chimed in on the last few episodes of my continued Ozark odyssey, because I hate the Darlene/Wyatt stuff so much I can barely watch -- not because of the age differences, but because I just find her so absolutely loathsome (and she's probably one of the worst written characters for me -- sometimes she's supremely capable when we've seen her be wildly erratic (at Ben-levels), sometimes she's a psychopath who loves no one, then others she's supposed to seem sort of loving and Earth Mothery? I mean, I just hate her so much I can barely keep watching.

Meanwhile, I'm really surprised that I'm in such a minority, but I like and care about Ben. Sure, he's frustrating, but as someone with more than one very mentally ill relative, I find him very realistic as a character. He's fantastically acted -- serious kudos to Tom Pelphrey, and I'm glad to see he's been getting a ton more work since.

And he's beautifully written, and this entire arc is so tragic because the Byrds live in a tightly controlled powderkeg and he's a spark that can doom them at any moment. They can't have someone uncontrolled like Ben around them, and this disaster is the result.

But while I've found Ben maddening (yet yes, realistic and still lovable), he's been a great asset to this season in the larger sense. I love the vulnerability he brings out in Wendy (who has been increasingly colder otherwise), and I love him with Ruth. So I care about him, I hate watching him go through all this, and I'm cringing at the expected outcome.

And writingwise, I love the fact that it was all there, all foreshadowed in his opening scene, when we saw that he's smart, he's eloquent and caring, he doesn't like seeing people get hurt -- but then he will also totally go off the deep fucking end and into irrationality and violence.

And so here we are. Poor Ben. Totally doomed.

On 3/29/2020 at 3:32 PM, DoctorAtomic said:

Uh oh. That look on Helen's face when Ben started yelling. I don't want to be on the end of that look. After 8 episodes, they could have lost this entire storyline and the show would have been fine. I guess the point is that everything affecting them puts on undue risk, but I already knew that so it's not like it added anything. 

Oh, man, when Ben started yelling at Helen and her daughter I felt actual terror even though THIS IS JUST A TV SHOW. But Helen is fricking terrifying. Aghghghgh.

On 3/30/2020 at 4:05 PM, leighdear said:

I have hated Ben from the beginning, and I hope he gets put down like the rabid dog he is.  Ruth is no angel, but she doesn't need yet another demented, egotistical asshole controlling her and ruining what tiny shred of self-esteem she's managed to develop.  

I get that people hate Ben, but I absolutely do not see him as being tyrannical, misogynistic, or controlling Ruth in any way. Except in terms of him making her vulnerable because she loves him, etc. Ben has many many problems, don't get me wrong, but he's nothing like Ruth's dad or the other men of Ozark.

Ben's a pretty liberal guy compared to almost any other male character on the show, and is nothing but complimentary and supportive of Ruth. I mean, is he a disaster who will inevitably break her heart (and we're well on that road right now)? Oh, hell, yes. But I disagree that he's abusive in any of the ways that you're describing. He's sick, not abusive or toxic.

On 6/9/2020 at 11:29 PM, scrb said:

They gave the character a condition so that he can’t be fully guilty for the things he says or does.

But I can’t believe the kids or Marty wouldn’t be hating him or that Ruth would fall for him.

I disagree and think this is too pat. Ben is shown to be guilty -- and self-aware -- of what he's said and done. I agree that the writers gave the character a condition that makes him a wild card, that makes him difficult to control and unpredictable, but it's also a mental illness millions of people also have. He's not a child, he is responsible for what he says and does.

AND he's absolutely screwed the pooch here by going off meds and doing all these unbalanced things. But the tragedy -- for me -- is that the Byrds' casual lifestyle of crime and corruption are what he (and many fully sane people) has no ability to handle. It's just too big. Some of the culpability has to fall on Wendy and Marty here.

That's why I don't understand is the complete lack of sympathy for Ben's situation because he is in an inhuman pressure cooker and he wasn't equipped to handle it. This is not a guy capable of keeping secrets about murder, or shrugging off the knowledge that people tortured his girlfriend, or threatened the lives of his sister's family. In almost any other family, Ben would simply have to go back on meds, he might piss some family members off, go in and out of institutions, etc. But that isn't this situation. Ben is mentally ill and in a situation in which that is the worst possible thing to be, because he cannot handle the situation around him like everyone else can (even the kids).

I feel incredibly sad for Ben -- and for Wendy and Ruth, who truly love him. 

On 9/4/2021 at 3:52 PM, Anela said:

I'm going to miss the therapist, and I don't like the Ben character, but I loathe that these people can just kill people who know too much about them. It's insane, and I'm not rooting for them. I'd much rather see them be taken down by his big mouth, but it won't happen.

Honestly? I was kind of psyched that Ben told Helen's daughter. Helen is evil. She lives an evil life. And she has already gotten her daughter mixed up in all sorts of danger this summer with her own arrogance, her assumptions that her daughter is more controllable than she is (another nice reflection of the Ben situation in a different way). So I'm glad Ben told her daughter. At least Helen can't pretend she's some wonderful person anymore.

On 5/17/2022 at 9:56 AM, SlovakPrincess said:

As frustrating as Ben is as a character, the actor is absolutely killing it and I just love him.  However -- does being off his meds also make Ben irretrievably stupid??  He's not just lashing out violently and having outbursts at his sister in inconvenient places now, he is going out of his way to anger someone he knows is a drug cartel operative who orders hits on people.  The Ben-confronting-Helen-and-yelling-at-her-daughter scene was a huge eye roll for me ... and how does he even know where she lives??

I find it pretty believable that all the Byrds know where Helen lives -- it's never been shown to be a secret, and for all we know Ben carted the kids around a few times, etc. 

I loved the scene when he confronted Helen, even if I also went, "OH SHIT NO." Helen deserves it. I hope her daughter goes back to her father, tells him everything, and they end up in witness protection or something.