There Once Was A Merle From Nantucket: The Walking Dead Limericks

[CletusMusashi]

Blah blah blah Negan

Blah blah buildup, blah blah speech

Blah blah cliffhanger

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Attention held

With bullet points.

Good Knight, Sir Morgan.

[PeterPirate]

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe
Rick's been caught by a stronger foe
Who kills his friend, then lets him go
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe

 

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe
Negan's worse than Gov or Joe
Rick will reap as he has sown
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe

 

Eeny, meeny, miny, mo
Rick was high, and now he's low
Half his stuff is what he owes
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe

 

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe

Slavery is the status quo

The Saviors are the Gestapo
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe

 

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe
The cliffhanger happened, so let it go
You're still going to watch this !@#$%^& show
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe

Edited April 18, 2016 by PeterPirate

[Nashville]

<applause>

[Watcher0363]

K-I-L-L my enemies. K-I-L-L my enemies.
I am your superior, blood on my bat!

 

K-I-L-L my pawns. K-I-L-L my pawns.
You are my subjects, blood on my bat!

 

K-I-L-L to make a point. K-I-L-L to make a point.
What is yours is mine, blood on my bat!

 

K-I-L-L! K-I-L-L!
I am your landlord, I am your master.

 

K-I-L-L! K-I-L-L!
Blood on my bat! Blood on my bat!

[CletusMusashi]

King Ezekiel

has a fondness for tigers

and also cougars

[Mu Shu]

The Kooky Kingdom

Wayfair has just what they need

Plush outdoor pillows

[AngelaHunter]

20 hours ago, CletusMusashi said:

King Ezekiel

has a fondness for tigers

and also cougars

Hey, wait just a doggone minute. She's seven years older than he is - hardly putting her into "cougar" territory.

[Mu Shu]

Daryl the captive

Will Negan bash his brains out

Or give him a bath

[CletusMusashi]

6 hours ago, AngelaHunter said:

Hey, wait just a doggone minute. She's seven years older than he is - hardly putting her into "cougar" territory.

Shiva is bear-sized.

If Carol ends up with him...

Cougar beats grizzly.

5 hours ago, Mu Shu said:

Daryl the captive

Will Negan bash his brains out

Or give him a bath

Rules about Daryl:

Don't feed him after midnight

or give him a bath

Edited November 1, 2016 by CletusMusashi

[Mu Shu]

CletusMusashi, you are the Shakespeare of haikus.  Daryl is indeed a gremlin.  Wasn't there one with long, filthy , slimy looking hair?

Edited November 1, 2016 by Mu Shu

[Mu Shu]

Oh sweet Caroline

Cobbler never tasted good

She's not inclined

[SpaghettiTuesdays]

"It's The Kingdom," said Morgan, a brave and fair knight.
He's given Carol the debate - is killing right?
He showed her the gardens, the clothes, the food.
But when she sees King E, she's in the mood.
He's a LARPer, that's for sure,
Are there skeletons behind the closet door?
The people are cool, the tiger neat.
King E is dreaming of the sheets.
But the thing is, the most important of all,
true love creeps up and makes us fall.
As for Carol and King E,
He wants her, she wants the D.

[SpaghettiTuesdays]

Here sits Daryl in his own dirt,
Not wearing pants and ne'er a shirt. 
My mom was happy, screaming with delight
Until she saw the torture brought by Dwight.

We're happy here, on Easy Street.
Except poor Sherry in Negan's sheets.
Gordon was fed up, ran away.
Dwight's begging couldn't make him stay.

The system is crude, made up of points.
Still have Mary Jane to make the joints.
A frat house on drugs are the Saviors.
Rude, mean,  terrible behaviors.

And now they take stuff from Camp Dinner Bell.
Rick's weak, a former shell.
Fear not! Michonne has a gun.
Soon it will be Negan, ready to run.

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Ques up "Easy Street",
Then disappears with swift feet.
Daryl cried and feels punched in the gut,
'cause they threatened him with a haircut.

[CletusMusashi]

Let's play Simon says:

We could be good friends, ha, ha!

Didn't say "Me says!"

[SpaghettiTuesdays]

Midseason premiere, time has come
To look at what our friends have done.

With Rick's new balls and Maggie's as well,
I like this new Camp Dinner Bell.

Will we see Negan, hit with Lucille?
I wonder how the Saviors will feel.

We'll give them a fright, give them a scare.
Much excitement fills the air.

I can't wait for tomorrow, it's been so long.
My mom won't shut up, 'til she sees Daryl's schlong.

I've missed writing these poems, as I am witty.
I just hope this season ain't so shitty.

[walnutqueen]

I'm glad you're still with us, Spaghetti

'cause YOU make me so much less petty

Hope springs eternal

with this show, so infernal

For now, I'll not jump off a jetty

Edited February 12, 2017 by walnutqueen
stupid "keyboard"

[SpaghettiTuesdays]

Jesus is everywhere, in my heart.
But Gregory is still a dickhole, a fart.

Who's really running the Hilltop town?
For certain it's Maggie and not the clown.

Rick needs an army, some food and things.
Let's go ask Zeke the king.

He says no, anger ensues.
But Rick goes on, ne'er subdued.

They find some bombs in the road.
And there they go! Walkers explode.

Tensions arise, the ladies of Abe.
I think one might be expecting a babe.

Pee Pants runs off, where is he?
He's taken the car, some cans of peas.

What's that? A shadow? A person in there?
If Pee Pants is gone, then I don't care.

They find a clue in plain sight
And they're off in daylight.

There's people afoot, new ones to meet.
But Rick and his crew can't be beat.

They've found the men, the army, the guns.
And now they're certain to have won.

They'll fight against Saviors, Negan's peeps.
They'll need some gas, some bombs, some Jeeps.

We'll wait in silence and in fear,
For the battle will soon be near.

And who will they kill, a favorite again?
All signs are pointing to Ben.

Edited February 14, 2017 by SpaghettiTuesdays

[walnutqueen]

So now there's this new hipster group

Who're out of The Saviors' loop

They have quite a knack

as they're all dressed in black

For slicking their hair back with goop

 

(and making us all hate their troop)

[CletusMusashi]

Jadis: "Bring stuff. Soon."

Rick: "What kind of stuff and thangs?"

Jadis: "Words. Bring words."

 

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Look at you enjoying a crappy videogame, that's so cute,
Pardon me while I stare at the screen, like a mute.
I drank too much, I think I might be sick,
Cease your verbal noise and watch me play with my controller-joystick.

That looks like a lot to handle,
Vacate the immediate vicinity as I'm gonna light this candle.
Wow, look at that white stuff shoot out even more,
Lady, that is just a lucky happenstance of metaphor.

You're one us now, Haircut.
Is there any possibility of chance I could get a look at your bared butt?
I didn't say it before, but that's quite the mullet,
If you truly appreciate this fine follicle helmet, you should spectate later as I endeavor to manufacture a bullet.

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

A synopsis of "Bury Me Here" as narrated by Judis:

Fruit.  Insufficient.  More.
Guns.  Surrender.  Now.  (guns... *drool*)
Benjamin.  New.  Trial.  Winslow.  Replace.
Man.  Crazed.  Not.  Now.  Again.
Woman.  Isolated.  Now.  Again.  Fight.
 

Edited March 13, 2017 by iRarelyWatchTV36

[CletusMusashi]

If a dog had died

I would call this episode

quite melancholy.

 

[Nashville]

There once was a hothead named Richard

Who to Ezekiel couldn't get his war pitch heard.

So a plot he did build

But it got Benjy killed

And on asphalt Morgan saw Dick's skull fissured.

[CletusMusashi]

Oh, give me a town with no Negan around, where the pig and the cantaloupe pay

Where seldom is heard a non-Renaissance word, and where Jerry serves cobbler all day

Oh, Tigertown's fun, why can't it be the show every time?

Screw it, let the main cast walk in circles half assed

While we watch Zeke instead of Rick Grimes...

[walnutqueen]

Oceanside is Rick'd

Hershel and Dale roll in graves

Who remembers them?

[CletusMusashi]

Single Grimy Man

Seeks Dirty Naked Space Elf

Yes. That will end well...

Edited December 2, 2017 by CletusMusashi

[Nashville]

There once was a grimy man Grimes

Went to forgive some trashy folks’ crimes.

But they stole his boots instead

And locked him in a shed.

Good god, Rick - how many fucking times...?

[walnutqueen]

Bad Bangs Bitch wants Rick

Not now, but after Michonne

Nude sculpting the Grimes

[walnutqueen]

There once was a lawman named Rick

Who sported a sizable dick

He claimed he was done with his really big gun

'Cause Michonne gave his white ass a lick

 

[ICK!!!]

[CletusMusashi]

On 2/4/2015 at 4:10 AM, CletusMusashi said:

Haiku for the seasons:

 

Season 1:
A hero gets shot.
Then civilization falls.
Then he fights zombies.

 

Season 2:
One group saves zombies.
Rick's group just moves in with them.
Zaniness ensues.

 

Season 3:

Move into prison.
Then find whole town of people.
It's evil though. War!

 

Season 4:

"All leaders are bad.
'Unless they are named Rick Grimes!"

Really? WTF?
 

First half of Season 5:

Carol is awesome

but most of these people suck.

Where's Lord Fluffington?

Second Half of Season 5:

Time to cull redshirts

Whole lot of dumb shit happens

But, hey! Morgan's back!

Season 6:

Parades are a thing...

And Saviors might be scary

if they'd just talk less.

Season 7:

Negan likes to talk

And the group sucks without Glenn

Isn't Negan cool?

Edited December 10, 2017 by CletusMusashi

[AngelaHunter]

Bang bang bang bang bang

What the fuck is going on?

Neil is dead? Oh no!

[walnutqueen]

It is dark.  Too dark.

I can't see a fucking thing.

Who the hell is Neil?

[CletusMusashi]

Season 8A:

Seven was so great!

Let's just keep doing that shit!

Fans will need shit pants!

[Nashville]

Rick locked up in dark.

Daryl drives the garbage truck.

Rick's plan goes to shit.

[CletusMusashi]

Someone told Gimple:

Zombie stories should be dark.

He misunderstood.

[Nashville]

“Carl, now, don’t be scared.

You are gonna beat this world.”

Looks like Gimp beat him.

[CletusMusashi]

"I want an eye patch."

"Not a problem, kid, trust me!

It's NOT a problem!"

Edited December 16, 2017 by CletusMusashi

[CletusMusashi]

To watch or not to

That is indeed the question

Neither will please me

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Check it out dad

Told a walker to eat me

Intent confusion bites

[walnutqueen]

"I'm going to kill you!"

said Rick, for the hundredth time.

"Suck ballz!" said Negan

[walnutqueen]

Morgan built a jail

Let us move the plot along

Unfair Wolves; Negan

[Nashville]

There once was an ex-cop named Rick

Took a walk with Morgan, who was feeling pretty sick.

They found some Saviors, Rick lied,

And all of them died.

Turns out Negan’s not the only huge prick.

[CletusMusashi]

Season 8B:

Writer without balls

to kill off Rick or Negan

drops anvil on Carl.

[CletusMusashi]

Negan escapes jail.

Shops for Fonzie suit. Returns.

Must have audience.

[CletusMusashi]

Mah dotta run off

Ah fond 'er en tanned 'er hahd

So she'd be drissed raht.

[AngelaHunter]

Please, gang, do NOT stop!

You give me so much pleasure

Way more than Show does

[Nashville]

Alpha’s accent screams,

”This is Hollywood Southern!”

Like Blanche Deveraux.

[AngelaHunter]

Henry, Oh, Henry!

You're King of Candyland

Now fuck off and die.