S02.E35: Love or Con?

[cooksdelight]

I’d send Angela some Chapstick if I thought she’d bother to use it.

[KateHearts]

4 hours ago, Unsinn said:

 Considering Lizzy’s apparent  level of knowledge, she may not even be aware she’s keloid. 

a keloid is just an overabundant scar; a person isn't "keloid," like they might be "diabetic." I do agree that her lesion looks like a keloid. It happens sometimes; a person might develop a keloid in one area but not another.

[RealReality]

I think Alexander has drug dealer money.  Real hidden drug dealer money, not like Josh or lamondre.  His mother "loaning" him jewelry money when we haven't seen her being as involved as Daniels mom makes it seem like he put assets in his mom's name.  Maybe lamondre was doing the same thing, but if so, he is dumb for having anything to do with Andrea who apparently can't keep her mouth shut.

[cooksdelight]

1 hour ago, RealReality said:

I think Alexander has drug dealer money.

See his & Glorietta’a thread.

[RealReality]

4 hours ago, cooksdelight said:

See his & Glorietta’a thread.

Intriguing!

[mamadrama]

On 11/2/2019 at 10:22 AM, Kangatush said:

Promise rings are for 12 year olds and the religiously conservative.

What about "appreciation rings"? 😉

[RealReality]

4 hours ago, mamadrama said:

What about "appreciation rings"? 😉

We should all invest in a line of rings for the committment phobic.....

Promise rings

Appreciation rings

Gratitude rings

Praise rings

Acknowledgement rings

Given our target market of ex-cons we'd obviously have to price our rings somewhere around the $20 - $50 price point....and the rings would have to be gaudy but I think we could make a fortune 

Edited November 8, 2019 by RealReality

[Unsinn]

6 hours ago, mamadrama said:

What about "appreciation rings"? 😉

If Daniel wanted to take a(n icky, grotesque, permanent) “page” from Alexander’s Book of Criminal Appreciation & Romance, (available now from the Amazon..com section of self-published masterpieces 🙄😉😁) he could “memorialize” his “appreciation” for Lizzy, and her flesh(y) contributions, with a tat.  Alexander could be function as a living (albeit gross) “flash wall” of “criminal [and criminally-bad] luuuuuuv appreciation” done by prison “scratchers”.  

No doubt Daniel’s Mom/Teresa would have even more reason for maternal pride and confidence; he fleeced her for a “promise/engagement ring”, no doubt he’d do it for an permanent tat.  Plus, on a 150-200 US$ budget, and the level by which Daniel defines “quality”, it’s not likely he’d know, seek out or be able to afford the more artistic of those who proudly identify themselves as “loyal to the coil”, spend years in apprenticeship and are constantly developing and mastering different techniques and innovations, while devoting themselves to improving their own artistic style (stilo, in Alex-speak, ya feel me? 🙄😄)

As mentioned before, the application of tats while incarcerated is both illegal and a punishable infraction of the rules to both the “doer” and the “receiver”.  However, it doesn’t appear Alexander has met any of those who have somehow managed to create “art”under those conditions, anyway.

It’s not like Lizzy is likely to be averse; she has some (less than impressive) ink herself (as does the glorious Glorietta, cue shrill, nasally tittering).  

I’d mention LALers all getting wedding tats, but perish the thought, they’d probably all think it was an awesome idea, and I don’t want to risk  the karmic responsibility, even with irony, sarcasm, as a joke or a fluke. 😳  DeBeers was wrong.  Diamonds may last eons, but bad ink, even with the best of biting, searing lasers, may edge out diamonds for “forever” (and not that, for all the feelings of entitlement, any of the LAL-lovelorn are likely to get a genuine diamond with good “4Cs” ratings larger than a drill bit).

[mamadrama]

5 hours ago, RealReality said:

We should all invest in a line of rings for the committment phobic.....

Promise rings

Appreciation rings

Gratitude rings

Praise rings

Acknowledgement rings

Given our target market of ex-cons we'd obviously have to price our rings somewhere around the $20 - $50 price point....and the rings would have to be gaudy but I think we could make a fortune 

Between the 90 Dayers, the Pounders, and the LALers we'd make a fortune! We could even have some signature lines, like "the Darcey" (both gaudy AND a deal because you'd get 3 rings-one for each of your soulmates). 

The "appreciation ring" is something that we've gotten mileage out of to no end in my household. 

[Unsinn]

On 11/4/2019 at 1:28 AM, Hellohappylife said:

I’m finding the trips to these higher end jewelry stores/ wedding dress shops a little cringy to watch.

SPEAK IT.

The trips to the bridal boutiques are worse (thus far, the jewelry stores have been smaller chains and pawn shops).  It’s pure Fantasyland, and the “bridal consultants” are beholden, for all the reasons “HelloHappyLife” mentioned.  They cannot afford to stand on snobbery or to judge a book by its cover (not that’s ever “okay”) and have to take everyone who walks in the door as if they have a black MasterCard and are shopping for a Royal Wedding... even when they look and act like Giggling Glorietta, high on helium and Halperidol, and Angela with her wayward tooth (and wayward fiancée on the lam).  It doesn’t matter that most good salespeople develop a sense of who’s serious, who’s not, who’s open to going a bit higher, who really shouldn’t (and so the sale - and ensuing  problems - will come back to bite the salesperson in the a**)... a good salesperson greets every customer with champagne and congratulations, eager to make the bride the “Queen for a Day” of [the bride’s] dreams.

The vast majority of LALers don’t make it to the altar, despite the hard press from their determined “civilian” fiancées (fiancés in the cases of Clint, Scott and Vince, none apparently completely on the up and up themselves and whose mental health/sanity could be fairly called into question) the minute the cons hit the terra firma of freedom (or parole).  

While Mary (of Mary and Dominic) put aside her fantasies for a bare-bones boatside vows (and in, um, streetwear, and in the Winter!), Clint and his runaway back-and-forth bride Tracie had two; one in a cowboy bar and the second  in Vegas.  The “civilian” Johnna (mea culpa; I still can’t get over someone naming a baby Vajohnna ; High School and the catcalling of Va-jay-jay had to be hell) wised up at least long enough to bolt from her (allegedly) con-planned beach wedding, leaving Matt standing bemused in the rose petals in the sand with the JP with no one else, aside from the LAL crew, in attendance.  That’s what allegedly wised up Johnna, however temporarily - real awareness evidently arrived later - when her wedding didn’t involve her beloved father walking her down the aisle.

Maybe LAL budgets more ”fantasy” for the more solid couples?  Marcelino and Brittany had a very nice wedding  as I recall. I don’t remember Andrea and Lamar’s wedding off the top of my head (was it shown on LAL?), but Andrea is such a (in all other ways) good, observant Mormon girl that I can’t imagine her living in sin just on and on.  Lamar, on the other hand... Sure. Easily.  But last I saw Lamar he was speeding out of Utah full-throttle, thoroughly freaked by the all-Mormons, all-the-time, Full-Court-Press on conversion “Children of the Corn” vibe (Lamar’s own hysterically on-point characterization).  Andrea certainly wanted a big do-up (and certainly one in a Mormon Temple, at least at some point).

The Pilgrimage to the Bridal Shop, complete with the brides - their usual “looks” aside - all go for the super-hyper-most of the tippy-toppiest of bridal froth and trimmings is a LAL staple for which the “civilian-fiancées” have been planning and pining for years (in most cases).  Glorietta in her mermaid gown (has anyone, anywhere, including anorexic 6’ runway models, looked their best in a mermaid gown? It’s a tough look to pull off in real life without fans to lift it and make it “flow”, etc).  Forget Snagglepuss’s wayward tooth, perpetually-manicured talons and omnipresent cigarette, Angela went full Vera Wang designer Snow White-Cinderella... would Tommy be her Dude of Honour?...  if only she had not received such an importune and shocking phone call that her Prince Charming was unaccountably on the lam!   Our poor damsel in distress could only weep as her friend, the experienced Former Prison Catfisher herself, dried Angela’s tears and advised her to cut bait permanently and do some running of her own.

Maybe LAL has a few bridal shops on retainer for these scenes, or a bridal shop set? 😳

[Rt66vintage]

@Unsinn, Andrea and Lamar had a gang-bangin' wedding at his ?brother's home in Los Angeles. She made her guests wait 3-4 hours because it was "MY DAY!," and her hideous, size 12 platform fake designer sandal shoes had not arrived. Also, she was so proud to cut the BLUE-for-crip cake, and her ignorant friend from Utah made a comment about there being a lot of black people at the event, some who apparently were smoking ganga weed. Oh dear, why is this so clear in my memory? 

[Rukiddingme]

I think Julianna is trans. She looks like a trans woman. Not that it matters but Glorietta is not smart to have so much hope in Alex. He played her and God knows how many other women. She just needs to cut him loose. 

[RealReality]

On 11/23/2019 at 6:51 AM, Rukiddingme said:

I think Julianna is trans. She looks like a trans woman. Not that it matters but Glorietta is not smart to have so much hope in Alex. He played her and God knows how many other women. She just needs to cut him loose. 

I tend to agree with you about Julianna being trans.  But, I think that Alex being head over heels for a trans woman would make him so much more interesting.

[goofygirl]

I remember Andrea & Lamar's fabu wedding now!  She just about lost her freaking MIND over those SHOES!!!!!  Lawdy.