S03.E11: Hard To Say I'm Sorry

[Spike]

4 minutes ago, A-Lo said:

How do I get there, Gobi?  Thanks in advance!

https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/73300-rice-a-roni-google-translate-90df-live-chat/

[Chalby]

On 10/19/2019 at 7:59 PM, Takitaki said:

I guess they assume a few k wouldn't actually make him broke and that he'd be able to earn more money quickly. 

Did you happen to catch the episode of pillow talk where one of the couples googled 'bride price" and the average quote given was between $1500 and $3000? I think Ben should cut her family off as soon as he reaches $2500. The family is prostituting their daughter for a better life at home. Once again, women are disposable in third world countries.

[OrchidThief]

9 hours ago, Chalby said:

Once again, women are disposable in third world countries.

We pretty much caught on to that at the beginning.

[Mothra]

9 hours ago, Chalby said:

Did you happen to catch the episode of pillow talk where one of the couples googled 'bride price" and the average quote given was between $1500 and $3000? I think Ben should cut her family off as soon as he reaches $2500. The family is prostituting their daughter for a better life at home. Once again, women are disposable in third world countries.

I boycotted PT for a while, so I didn't see that.  But do you remember when Ben's first estimate of what he could offer, max, was something like $2500, and Bikini told him that negotiations typically *begin* at $3000?

I want to know the real story about Bikini.  First, she doesn't make sure that he knows about gifts, then she doesn't tell him that bride price=you're married, then having him bring funeral gifts instead of bride price gifts, and now I learn she's being really shady about what the bride price might be.  I didn't think the posts suggesting this was a family scam, practiced over and over, but now I'm starting to think there might be something in it.  Instead of the family member sending money back home to the family (a la Pedro and Seabiscuit), Bikini's far craftier plan is to have the dumbass American harvest and mail back his own dollars.

Bikini has pretty much told us that she is accustomed to having sex with her dates, so the business about Ben having to stay with Fidel "so he can keep an eye on you" presumably to guard his sister's chastity, is bullshit.  Her gift-giving advice is bullshit.  Her bride price=marriage *sounds* like bullshit to me.  Her air of panic when Ben hints that he might not want to marry her (before bride price) indicates that getting the hell out of Dodge is more important to her than her massive love for Ben, of which we've seen little evidence other than her willingness to have sex with him upon his arrival (and her "meh" review of his performance).

[Mothra]

Maybe it's because I ff through so much, but this show literally puts me to sleep.  I rarely remain awake to the end.  It may be time to reassess my viewing priorities (or to take more naps).

But christ are these people boring.  Their dramas and "secrets which might destroy our relationship" make me yawn.  The only couple that jolts me back into consciousness is Anyone + Darcey, and that's only because I've become so very, very cruel.  Thanks a lot, Tom.

[RealReality]

On 10/23/2019 at 10:05 AM, Chalby said:

Did you happen to catch the episode of pillow talk where one of the couples googled 'bride price" and the average quote given was between $1500 and $3000? I think Ben should cut her family off as soon as he reaches $2500. The family is prostituting their daughter for a better life at home. Once again, women are disposable in third world countries.

On 10/23/2019 at 7:38 PM, OrchidThief said:

We pretty much caught on to that at the beginning.

.......from the very start of the 90DF franchise.  😞

[Squishy Tomato]

I am writing this before I read all 9 pages...

Tom is a dick for not taking Farcey to a beginners salsa class so that she can learn the basics. Yes, it always feels better to dance with a more advanced dancer but when you go with your romantic partner you're doing it to have fun with them..dumping them by the side of the floor is just rude..the etiquette in most social dancing scenarios is you dance with people above and below your level because *everyone was a beginner once*..also as someone who does competitive ballroom dancing, i can report that salsa is *Very Easy* compared to other dances, at the level Tom is doing it there is almost no technique... it's one of the reasons I don't like salsa, because you go to a class and it's full of guys who think they are the Salsa King just because they know a couple of moves...

Tom's sister grew on me this episode, I thought she was very kind to Farcey (and moves surprisingly well on the dancefloor!). I no longer doubt if she's Tom's sibling either because she speaks with the same intonations as Tom and I even saw some similar facial expressions.

Thank god there was no caesar on this episode although Tim is coming up a close second for dumbest person on the planet, giving jeniffffer veronica's old engagement ring. I would not accept a recycled ring either! Also Wtf with calling it a "promise ring", she looked so disappointed that it wasn't an engagement ring. It's like jesse and the appreciation ring. Jeniffer can do so much better than Tim, she needs a real man who makes her feel good about herself. 

If ben only has $800 in savings how the hell is he going to support akinyis Visa application (this is assuming his crates of orange juice are sufficient to win the approval of family akinyi)

[Chalby]

On 10/23/2019 at 7:48 PM, Mothra said:

 I didn't think the posts suggesting this was a family scam, practiced over and over, but now I'm starting to think there might be something in it.  Instead of the family member sending money back home to the family (a la Pedro and Seabiscuit), Bikini's far craftier plan is to have the dumbass American harvest and mail back his own dollars.

Given Bikini's age alone...? I thought that being single and over 23 was unusual for women? Something is up and I find it interesting that she apparently feels fine have 'sexual' dates and her religious leader father is fine with this? I am with you... this is a family troll, not just Bikini.

[Mothra]

Well, we met Sally, my son's Zimbabwean girlfriend, finally.  They came for lunch yesterday, and my son is really going to have to step it up in the gift department.  She brought me a bottle of Moet & Chandon. 

She is lovely, beautiful, and smart.  Funny as hell. Not dressed or made up inappropriately, which had been a little bit of a worry.  Lots of braids, which I managed to tangle during my hug, pulling her hair.  If it was painful, she was a trouper and didn't flinch once.

I was too chicken to ask about what her bride price might be, but she is now addicted to 90DF.  You're welcome, Zimbabwe.  She finds Angela as shocking as we do, but I was unable, given that there were two men who refuse to watch this show present, to talk to her about Bikini.  She did refer to "the sweaty boyfriend."  I'll have to get her alone.

She dutifully ate everything--she is allergic to all kinds of seafood, so my Caesar salad (yes, that's the only salad I make these days, in homage to you-know-who) had to be sans anchovies--even the risky mushroom bisque.

[Chalby]

On 10/18/2019 at 6:14 AM, Thisgirllovespasta said:

He sold it to Tim 😂😂😂

Glad you got out!!!

You read my mind! As soon as I read the ring comment, I thought Hmm, maybe phone Jennifer and ask if she's seen it?

[Hangin Out]

On 10/13/2019 at 10:59 PM, iwasish said:

I have a Colombian friend  and she and her 80 plus dad do all the Colombian dances together at parties.  At first I thought it weird but even though the dances are sexy, there’s nothing sexual going on. She’s quite a bit overweight also but like Tom’s sister she is quite light footed on the dance floor. I don’t think Darcy has any real interest in dancing, nor is she comfortable doing it. She just wants Toms attention at all times. Let him enjoy his dancing if that’s his thing. 

Darcy is not interested in anything except diamond rings, her fake hair, eyelashes, makeup, puffed up lips, designer clothes and bags and luggage and shoes.  She’s not much for intelligent conversation.  She just wants to get married.  I’m still wondering how she grew up those nice kids.  Maybe somebody else did?

[Hangin Out]

Quiet shy little Akini finally found her voice since the marriage.  Lots of luck Ben.  She looks like she will be a Motherfucker for a wife once she gets here.  Dopey Ben will realize he made a mistake, but in the States here, technically he will not be married, right?  Can he ship her back if need be?

[Hangin Out]

On 10/18/2019 at 12:57 AM, Chalby said:

I agree and disagree with your observations. You and I think the same as I too, am questioning why he needs to find love via internet across the world. Something does not sit well with me re: Ben because of his judgemental tone re: her drinking. As well, his demand that she be a step 'mother' to his son. The boy HAS a mother, and Akini has the right idea when she states she rather be as a friend. Why set her up for failure? She has no idea about parenting, and why should she. She's young and outgoing. I feel like he wants to keep her housebound. I don't feel good about this one. I understand that all of his scenes are probably doctored for lack of excitement, but still, something is wrong...

I don’t get why anyone would want someone from another country.  There’s plenty singles here.  Plus, I find some of the like Jennifer and Akini fresh, demanding and a very big bother between bride money and K1 visas and traveling money.  Those three friends of Maria’s were better dressed than some Americans and all looked like scammers.  Seems like most of them are trouble.  Why risk it?  Oh, I forgot.  This is a show, and they all are making money.  Last night was a three hour bust.  Nothing has changed.  We are still waiting for a finale. So, another show will pop up in about one or two years?  Weird.

[Hangin Out]

On 10/18/2019 at 1:05 AM, Chalby said:

Good point. BUT Is anyone else fed up with watching ONLY broke-ass people seeking love in another country? Is that why they do this? They know no one from the States is going to marry them (along with their financial issues). Do they use their American status to troll for mates overseas? Yep, I have NOTHING, but if you enter into this debt with me, you can get a green card and hopefully work and support me. They all seem to pretend to have $$, but we soon learn they have NOTHING. I certainly hope none of them are accepting financial aid, while attempt to bring a mate into the country.

YES.  Ultimately, are we, the taxpayer Americans going to wind up paying?  Maybe.

[Hangin Out]

On 10/16/2019 at 12:49 PM, Bryce Lynch said:

Maybe an accident in his gun shop?

I still say he has a small one and is embarrassed.

[Hangin Out]

On 10/15/2019 at 9:32 AM, Zevious Zoquis said:

The Ben/Akinyi thing is really quite frustrating to watch.  I don't know what her game is.  She seems to be completely bipolar wrt him.  She's also so annoying with the baby voice and the weird sexual advances.  Her family is quite terrifying as well...although I can't tell if maybe that is just a test for Ben to see if he'll stand up and be a man.  Maybe all he needs to do is say "well I'm sorry if you think this gift isn't good enough but that and the fact that I'm going to take your daughter to America is what you get.  Take it or leave it" and the haggling over bride price will come to an abrupt conclusion.  Having said that, I'm not a big Ben fan either.  He's annoying too and certainly not in any position to be bringing a foreign bride to the US.  

Yep.  No bride price.  Take it or leave it.  The funeral food and oil and paper towels was enough.  Take it or I’m leaving her with you.

[Hangin Out]

On 10/10/2019 at 9:32 AM, Kareem said:

Wonder what Rebecca's bombshell is...

That she gained twenty pounds?

[Hangin Out]

Ben, Tell Akini Father and that scary brother you don’t have and will not have anymore money for the bride price.  See how fast they will let her go,for free from now on.  She’s a problem for them and will be a problem for you, you dork. She’s starting up already ranking on you and being obnoxious and calling you fat.  Who is she to talk about how a person looks as she is no beauty.

[Chalby]

On 10/28/2019 at 8:07 AM, Mothra said:

Well, we met Sally, my son's Zimbabwean girlfriend, finally.  They came for lunch yesterday, and my son is really going to have to step it up in the gift department.  She brought me a bottle of Moet & Chandon. 

Sorry if I am late to your son's dating story, but how did he come across a gal from Zimbabwe? Was he over there, or was this an online romance? If it was an online meeting, weren't you terrified 90 day fiancee was going to play out in your home? lol

[Mothra]

On 11/1/2019 at 7:14 PM, Chalby said:

Sorry if I am late to your son's dating story, but how did he come across a gal from Zimbabwe? Was he over there, or was this an online romance? If it was an online meeting, weren't you terrified 90 day fiancee was going to play out in your home? lol

Well, yeah, it was an online meeting, but she lived in the area and they met in person the day after they met online.  I know what you mean, though--when he was younger, he fell for a girl (she was 16 and he was 18 at the time) who lived in Iceland.  I don't know if she asked for money or if he sent her any (his after-school job throughout high school was bagging at the grocery store, and he was saving up to buy a car, so it's doubtful).  Those kids today!  They don't meet in bars like I did.  It's all online.

My son's Zimbabwean gf lives in the US and works for Big Pharma.  So she's super OK with me, as long as she understands that it's the custom in the US for the daughter-in-law to provide financial support to her aging in-laws.

[Chalby]

On 10/23/2019 at 7:51 PM, Mothra said:

But christ are these people boring.  Their dramas and "secrets which might destroy our relationship" make me yawn. 

Especially when you can see that the participants are trying to please TLC (?) with their antics. Rebecca is a prime example, next to Laura. They will embarrass themselves and their families/children on TV, sharing the most gawd-awful (pretend) secrets hoping to get more fans. I truly hope with every disclosure, they actually lose followers. That would be justice in my eyes.

[Chalby]

On 10/15/2019 at 7:07 AM, Bryce Lynch said:

I don't know.  Ben has behaved pretty well, so if the congregation can get past the scandal of him being such a lurid show, they might approve him.

Churchgoers tend to be fairly conservative and I could see a congregation refusing to listen to a man preach who does not even attempt to date within his own country. He clearly has a 'type' and the members may resent that he feels no one in his own country is 'good enough'. Nor will they want to accept Akini as his wife after watching the show. He shot himself in the foot by appearing on this show.

[Chalby]

On 10/17/2019 at 9:30 AM, blubld43 said:

he just isn't in any position to bring a bride to the U.S.  

This is the main issue that confuses me about this show. Don't participants asking for a spousal visa have to prove they can support this spouse? In Canada, there are financial checks in place re: bringing anyone in (be it on spousal application, or work visa, etc.). Money is at the forefront, and the Canadian has to sign a ten year 'promise' to support the newcomer. The Americans seem so poor, too poor to finance anyone from another country. What am I missing?

[blubld43]

3 minutes ago, Chalby said:

This is the main issue that confuses me about this show. Don't participants asking for a spousal visa have to prove they can support this spouse? In Canada, there are financial checks in place re: bringing anyone in (be it on spousal application, or work visa, etc.). Money is at the forefront, and the Canadian has to sign a ten year 'promise' to support the newcomer. The Americans seem so poor, too poor to finance anyone from another country. What am I missing

I think Ben probably appeared on this show to earn the money, that TLC check probably does it.