Dandesun

Jesus Christ, James, that's what fanfiction is for, you utter doorknob.

I think you're fine because Guardians of the Galaxy, Marvel Entertainment and James Gunn have all posted it on Twitter. Also, I'm into these one shot specials. They take me back, man. They take me back.

But I don't WANT a Thunderbolt Ross I'd Like to Fuck!

They had me full on at the very beginning. I was 5 when The Incredible Hulk was on TV and that was regular viewing in our house so that throwback, that spot. on. throwback, was just absolutely divine. I was cracking up the whole time. THEN we got the spiral of Jen's life even though she was still working on figuring out Intelligencia even after moving back with her parents (I loved her Dad telling the reporters to get off his lawn) and then the showdown at Emil's sanctuary which then gives us the ultimate 4th wall break... I loved it. It was so true to She-Hulk. But it also just took me to 4th wall breaks like the end of Blazing Saddles. Or even a movie Disney did back in the 30s that involved a guy going to suggest they do a cartoon on 'The Reluctant Dragon' and wound up doing an entire tour of Disney Studios (which hasn't changed much since then architecturally-speaking) and then got a sneak peak on the new short Disney had just finished that was 'The Reluctant Dragon.' That Jen fought for the show to end on her terms and not in a knock down drag out fight that really wasn't necessary -- though I did like how messy it was getting -- and that she just wanted to see Matt again so there he was. Nikki and Pug were delightful. "Come on Pug, be gross." "Oh God, he can't improv!!" "Does that bitch ever use a door?" "What's going on? Did they hook up? Are they a thing?" And yes, I'm totally into Jen/Matt. Even knowing that Matt's life is a constant dumpster fire... I don't care. They hit all the notes for me. LOVE THEM. This was great.

So much so that I just flat out can't listen to it anymore.

Oh. Hello GamerGate bullshit. I didn't misss you at all. Not that you ever left. Jesus, the end of this episode was harrowing and rage inducing and, yes, that fucking Hulk_king icon is clearly a nod to the equally repellent Pepe the Frog nonsense. But on the upside, I loved everything else about the episode. I loved the 'Who's this asshole?' that led to Jen being both impressed/charmed by Matt then their face off and the inevitable team up. IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE AMIRITE?! And Matt's Walk of Awesome at the end. LOVE. Mallory knowing what was about to happen with Jen's rage and warning her not to... mixed feelings. Good lawyerly advice? Yes? Reasonable after that kind of gross violation? No. And I kind of want Holloway to get slapped down. He wanted the face (and also because she was a good lawyer) but then made her beholden to complete assholes and creeps and didn't really care about Jen as anything other than a commodity. Yeah, he should be scared. And I hope Mallory steps up in a big way to represent Jen. And I hope those assholes get what's coming to them.

I just am not that bothered about Wanda being a villain and this is from someone who wept copious tears in the last several episodes of WandaVision. In fact, I felt that Wanda's further descent into darkness was effective because we got to spend all of that time with her... to understand her trauma and her pain and the brief snatches of hope and happiness that she was able to grab. And because we got to spend that time with her, to feel for her, and want her to heal... the descent hurts even more. The audience is invested in her. It's the thing no one seemed to get about Jean in the X-Men movies. Jean succumbing to the Dark Phoenix shouldn't be about Logan having a crush on her or Xavier being a douche-nozzle about her powers. It should have always been about Jean and they never set her up as a character to invest in much less care about when she goes bad. Wanda didn't have a hell of a lot of focus in the movies either. I was astonished when I actually gave a shit about her and Vision in Infinity War because I didn't expect that at all. But between that and then WandaVision (and look her losing Pietro in Ultron really moved me, too, okay?) what I ended up with as a viewer was a fully realized character that was balanced on a precipice... and fell. Look, I am not thrilled with the various Wanda stories in comics where 'oh shit, Wanda's lost it again and she's too fucking powerful to be this nuts' because it just never sit right. But I actually really liked Wanda's fall in MoM and I also believe that her story doesn't have to end here. Comics are a font of never ending chances for redemption. For a character I had come to loathe in comics ('no more mutants') the fact that I am all in with what went down and what could come next is pretty cool. I really don't have any complaints. Hell, I love that a female character got this amount of nuance and character exploration as well as being that powerful an antagonist. I don't think she got short shrift at all but I do think that the responses show how well Marvel and Elizabeth Olsen did at making Wanda a character worth giving a shit about for good or ill.

Was he really a surprise? I didn't think so. Then again, I feel like the odds on Jen Walters meeting a nice normal guy is about as likely as Matt Murdock meeting a nice normal lady. Slim to none. Not saying it can't happen but the outlook isn't great. Jen was already having trouble meeting decent guys as Jen... once she became a hulk that opened the window to a whole new pool of assholes. Should she be aware of that? I guess, but at the same time this show seems more about the learning curve of what being a hulk really means in all facets of her life because that's where she's at. Bruce had to deal with a completely different personality taking over his life when he couldn't control his emotions and Jen naively thought that having control over her emotions meant she wouldn't have to deal with the rest of it. She's been compartmentalizing and actually the group stuff today also drove home that she felt that the hulk part of her helping with success is cheating. I feel that's about as realistic as a show about getting gamma radiated blood in your system and it changing everything can be with that sort of thing. Kamala Khan was thrilled about becoming a super hero which Jen is not but Jen just hasn't quite reached the 'no normal' part of the realization yet. And I really loved the going back to "Previously about that guy..."

The whole bit after the race where Frenchie saw Sandy and went up to her and asked her if she was happy and Sandy flat out said 'No I'm not but I think I know how I can be. Will you help me?' That was huge and it often gets overlooked, I feel. Sandy wasn't happy with how things were... with how SHE was and she had her own ideas about how to fix it and asked her friend to help her. MEANWHILE, there's Danny lettering in track and saying flat out 'You guys mean a lot to me but Sandy does too and I'll do whatever it takes to get her back.' They were both calling the shots in their decisions. That Sandy's transformation was so extreme in comparison doesn't necessarily mean she gave up her own agency. She made the decision to do so because she wasn't happy.

Who's naming their kid Cinderella? That was a mean fucking nickname given by mean fucking people to an orphan they made sleep on the kitchen floor by the fire so she was covered in cinders. What the hell, people?!

Asgardian construction workers are fucking lit, man. Do they just go from the job to the rave?

Jen breaking the fourth wall in this ep was so complete she let go of the steering wheel and leaned over the middle console to talk to us. I love that. 'This is so obviously a show that I'm not actually driving this vehicle. I promise the show isn't all about cameos. Or maybe it is. Anyway, back to it!' So light elves are actually from Alfheim -- one of the nine realms (ten if we're still including Heven and the angels but I honestly don't remember if that's still sticking in print canon) -- and Surtur didn't destroy Alfheim at the end of Ragnarok. But, you know, Thor-adjacent shape-shifters, man. And I'm not going to be even remotely upset at Megan Thee Stallion getting her cameo. Now that's two Legendary judges that are part of the MCU. And on the same show at that. Not mad. I don't even KNOW what the deal with Blonski's seven soulmates in their Wickerman white robes and flower crowns. The parole board just blithely accepting that cracks me up. Sure. We have super-powered influencers now. Why not? Then there's Wong who just does as he pleases. Sorcerer Supremes don't need to follow the rules. Magic breaks the rules, that's the whole damn point. Except for some specific rules. You know what, don't ask. It's not for non-magic users. "Hey, you broke a dude out of a high security prison which is totally against the law!" "Yeah, anyway, Wong out!" Also, Dennis is the worst. And now we've got the Wrecking Crew! And some mysterious boss who is clearly after Jen's blood. Trouble is afoot!!

Renee Elise Goldsberry is going to be in She-Hulk: Attorney At Law playing Amelia. She hasn't shown up yet but she was on the red carpet for the premier and she's been in various promos... although as herself not in character that I've seen. Bring it!!

Did they admit to it? That I'm not sure but if I had a nickel for every 80's baseball movie that involved voodoo and needing a live chicken/rooster to lift a curse I'd have ten cents, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice. (Thank you, Phineas and Ferb.)

Well as far as I'm concerned, Steve went and had his dance with Peggy then got Natasha back and then came back and decided to go to art school and is living with Bucky and they are making out and having the sex all. the. time. Also, he was horribly embarrassed by the idea of Rogers: the Musical but he and Bucky went to see it and Steve liked it more than he thought he was because it was so wildly inaccurate. Plus they were all really good singers. Which is a long-winded way of saying: canon never bothered me anyway. As for this show, yes. I quite enjoyed it. It was fun, the rapport between Jen and Bruce was believable to me and, come on, Hulk Fight! Bruce is obviously missing Tony (Science Bros!) and that makes me sad (I can also happily make Tony not dead in my head, too. He had all of the Infinity Stones, there's a lot of room to work with from a fanfic pov.) AND I look forward to more.

Jameela is giving me Alyssa Edwards in these Titania shots and I am here for it.

So Disney+ just went "Dande, go have fun on your birthday. We'll be here when you're done." FINE. I GUESS. WHATEVER.

It's not that huge a leap. If they weren't popular, no one would comment on them. When something is popular and people decide to comment on it, it's very much a hit at those who made the thing popular. It's not that different when commentary about certain books becoming popular becomes a thing. "These people are consuming a product I personally disapprove of therefore they are the reason that True Art is floundering and nothing Important is being said via Real Cinema." Tale as old as time. Frankly, arguments about Art are always a hoot to me because every new thing that catches on is sneered at. Impressionists are Ruining Art. Pop Art isn't Real Art! Rock and Roll is ruining Good Music. Rap is ruining Real Music! That Ghostbusters movie with women in the lead roles has destroyed my childhood! It's just another form of gatekeeping.

Considering that the baby had wings on their ankles... yeah, that was totally Namor.

I am not remotely bothered by the CGI. Maybe I’m just easy that way. This drops on my 50th birthday and I’m ready for it. And I love that they aren’t being coy about breaking the fourth wall.

That AMA... I just love her. I LOVE HER! And I love her repeatedly pointing out that Kamala was originally intended to be a mutant. I'm so happy.

Which... to be honest... isn't the most inaccurate description of Zeus. Horny, indeed. I mean, Red from Overly Sarcastic wasn't wrong when she suggested he should be God of One Night Stands. You better fucking believe I sang that out loud at the theater. Scandalized a child in front of me but I'm not fucking sorry.

There seemed to be that little bit of Animated X-Men theme music when Bruno said 'mutation.' I am 100% down with this because Kamala should have been a mutant all along, that's something so many seemed to agree on when she debuted, but because of Perlmutter and his push to make Inhumans the new mutants... she wound up a result of Black Bolt's Terrigen bomb. Ugh. Whatever. Comparing and contrasting to the comics is always a bit of a slippery slope but I really liked the nods to the source material. The action taking place at the school because, yes, when shit went down during the Incursion Event (don't worry about it) Kamala, who had already established herself as the local hero, steered everyone to the school as the emergency community center. I also liked that Kamala's mother found out first because that's how it was established in the comics and she was understanding and even thankful because 'if you're sneaking out to help people who are suffering, then I thank God that I have raised a righteous child.' However, I really really love that Kamala's parents were so integral to her superhero name and identity here where they weren't quite in comics. The story about Kamala's name does come from the comics -- although it focused more on the "perfect" definition and was part of her father telling her she was perfect the way she was and didn't need to change herself for anyone or anything. Zoe stepping up took a little longer in comics but Kamala's friend group did catch on as to what she was up to so when she finally confessed to them in what was supposed to be a dramatic sleep over party reveal they were all like 'yeah DUH we figured it out months ago... we were just waiting for you to tell us.' Bruno she told almost immediately so he wasn't part of that particular reveal. Anyway, I really did love the nods but this was it's own thing and I think it was great. I also think that Carol at the end was Carol having been transported/traded places with Kamala and, look, I was already excited about The Marvels -- Carol!! Monica!! Kamala!! so this just fed that excitement. I found it emotional on a lot of levels. I loved Kamala proving herself, caring so much about protecting that she does so even to people who are after her. I loved that she dropped trying to make excuses and just told Nakia that she messed up and she was sorry. I love her ridiculous hat. And I love that Jersey City loves her. It's as it should be. I really did enjoy this series so much.

I am never not tickled to hear Bale speak in his native accent. I'm so not used to hearing it in his roles. So when I saw him in the premier videos and he sounds like a guy who hangs out at the pub all the time I just giggle.

The 2000s really isn't the issue, though. Marvel's bankruptcy and the selling off of it's more lucrative properties happened in the 90s. And in the 90's you had to look at the previous decades' trends, too. X-Men #1, that biggest selling issue with the various covers that was the pinnacle of the 'collectables' market, hit the shelves in 1991. X-Men 1-3 was the last Chris Claremont story (well, at the time.) Claremont kicked off the 80s with the Dark Phoenix story which was HUGE. It was the story that put the X-men on the map and that was the culmination of over two years of storytelling in monthly comics. After that, you had Days of Future Past, the Brood Saga, Mutant Massacre, Fall of the Mutants, Inferno... and you had one guy that held the reins of the storytelling so you had long plot seeds that took their tiiiiiime. The 2nd go round with the Brood is fucking nuts. There's this one page in an issue where Havok and Polaris get run off the road in the desert... FOURTEEN ISSUES LATER they go back to that and explain what's been going on with that little plothole since and it's GNARLY. Cap, Iron Man, FF... look, I'm not saying there weren't good storylines. Armor Wars was in the 80s. Cap turned into a werewolf!! (Granted, not a great story, it's one you look back on and simultaneously go 'whaaat?' and 'that was weirdly awesome.') Actually, Were!Cap was in the 90s. He fought Cable and X-Force that was a thing. I started reading Cap in the 90s actually when Mark Waid took over (post Were!Cap) and I loved it but that was also specifically focusing on the things that made Cap who he was and very much NOT going for what comics were obsessed with in the 90s (all the Image! stuff from the creative exodus... yikes.) When I say that Iron Man, Cap, Thor and the rest of the Avengers were B-list I'm not being mean. They were not valuable property despite the ideas of 'well Cap's recognizable and these guys are on the Avengers' -- the AVENGERS weren't A-list! That's just the way it was! Thor and Cap didn't get revitalized by Straczynski and Brubaker until THIS century. You also had the Ultimates which, though not to my taste, did make people sit up and take notice. I mean, the Ultimates really felt like being edgy for edgy's sake... let's make Hulk a cannibal! Let's make Wanda and Pietro actual incestuous lovers! Let's make Cap a right wing icon with his jingoism! And don't even get me started on Civil War. The point I'm making is that from the 80s well into when Marvel had to licensed off it's assets to other studios there was a REASON that Iron Man, Captain America, Black Widow, etc weren't bought up. They weren't valuable. Even Hulk was bought by Universal for the rights to a stand alone. Remember the 2003 Hulk movie? Ang Lee directed it? Eric Bana starred... that was a Universal picture. What Marvel and Feige did with what they were left with is what's incredible. They still had awesome characters and, what's more, they had more storylines to pull from, like Brubaker's Cap which heavily HEAVILY influenced Winter Soldier. (Sidenote: y'all, when I heard that they had resurrected Bucky in the comics I asked out loud 'who's next, Uncle Ben?' Death is rarely permanent for comic characters -- and hey the current X-Men have a whole major point about resurrection -- but Uncle Ben and Bucky seemed to be the ones that it was understood would never come back.) Anyway, the value of the properties really isn't hyperbole. What was valuable was snapped up and Marvel/Disney made an empire with what was left. So much so, that they were able to get X-Men and Fantastic Four back under their control. So, yes, I remain very interested and excited for what they might do with those properties.