MollyZee

Cuz she’s a meth head too.

I doubt very much that he provided 3 of ANYTHING, frankly. Grangela is an established liar and Mah-kull could barely conceal his abject shock (and disgust) at her unexpectedly “older / fat / masculine” appearance and mannerisms when he saw her at the airport. He may have taken one for Team USA, but there’s little chance he laid that pipe on repeat all night. She’s hellbent on selling their story to the viewers (and the ICE censors?), and this lusty consummation fairytale fits that narrative to a tee.

I’m still reeling from River’s Sideshow Bob hair. That is all.

Bonus points for filth to UBT for contorting his already deformed face in a (failed) attempt to produce one single tear over Kaiser. ?

LOL at Brittany’s crocodile tears sniffling that she really cares about DeVoid while he awkwardly shrugs about narrowly dodging jail time on account of “not knowing” there were multiple warrants out for him.

“In her sleep” mmhmm. We see you, Hulk. ?? eta: @kazu beat me to it. Lol

When the shape shifting Manatee / She Hulk exudes class and character on camera compared to you, you know you’ve pissed off the editors irreparably. Also, sorry if this has been covered before but what’s wrong with Bri’s ass?! It’s a perfect rectangle. Curious.

OMG CORNY YAAASSSS. If anyone could make Nicole’s simpleton whinging seem like amateur hour, it would be her and her droopy eye. Also Paul and Kreeny can’t possibly be that busy can they? Unless he’s still struggling to extricate himself from his full-body swimming condom.

This is me every time I see “Mahamit / Muhammit” and other versions of “Danyeel.” In fact I’m rolling now just trying to type this. MAHAMIT.

I counted 1 suitcase full of Pao’s ho-stroll clothes, 1 for her fuck-me pumps, and a third with just Russ’ jeans. So yeah.

I know Tyler = DRAMZ but man, it does make me sad to see him shut down completely whenever his dysfunctional family comes around. Adderall Ambie walked into the house and he hightailed it out of there like Carly was waiting for him in the other room. His mood shifted, his body language tensed up, he was broadcasting GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE I CAN'T SAVE YOU and in comes Billy the dealer to try and bro him up? Seriously whoever said Amber needs to read the room nailed it. The codependency there is real and it is DARK. Kim must be some kind of award-winning actress because you don't procreate repeatedly with a hillbilly addict criminal and get to be half as normal as she appears to be. Something is up with her and it's wreaking havoc on that whole clan. NuMatt's disgusting shape-shifting beard makes my skin crawl. It's like his teeth are growing out of his facial hair, like there is no skin there at all. Vom.

Mileage varies on this, I guess. She got raked over the coals by the cast, Andy, and her family for her assertion last year that she would need cancer-grade chemotherapy to "manage" her RA, and feigned ignorance as to the difference between "a cocktail using a mild form of ONE (of the many) drugs that may also be used in the treatment of some types of cancers" and "chemotherapy for management of RA." She's a drama queen and a famewhore, so it seems like her litany of "conditions" are amplified - by her - for TV drama.

How old is MJ, though, *really*? She must be 45-50 and I have a feeling that the reason she's been so casual about how simple it'll be to become pregnant is bc she already knows the "natural conception" ship has sailed for her ancient ass. The sexytimes-with-Tommy antics are just for ratings; she'll go the test tube route whenever HE agrees to go down that road with her. I'm betting that's what has her so worked up about his sudden crisis of conscience. She lost her laboratory sperm donor so the story she wants to sell about a natural pregnancy is about to blow up in her face. I'm betting that's (partially) what has her ass so fired up about Asa, too - Asa stole MJ's fairytale. On another note, I think GG's hearing loss storyline is about as authentic as last season's chemotherapy-to-treat-RA. She was giggling and smirking in that audiology booth, I don't buy it. And is she cured now of her RA? <<shrug>> There is a pathology there that is incredibly unsettling. Annelise knows exactly what Swervin Sherv is up to, and she's decided to be cool with it. She's not that into him, from what I can see. He's just her ticket into LA / reality TV Z-list famewhoredom. That said, MJ needs to mind her damn bidness about it already.

Furthermore Mike was legitimately & justifiably frightened for his life in Turkey - and he expressed as much repeatedly on and off camera. Neither GG, nor Shervin, nor MJ, nor Asa would have any such concerns in Israel. Her histrionics are all the more ridiculous and ignorant as a result.

I thought the party was hilarious, I guess since Reza qualified it repeatedly as a deliberate intent to offend / poke fun at EVERYONE and not just ONE religion / culture / ethnicity, it was less gross than it otherwise might have been. Mike as Moses and Adam as a Hassid had me in stitches. GG is too fucking dumb to breathe air, I swear. Mike was dead right on the Israel vs Iran discussion and as soon as she realized it, she reverted to LochNessa with her tired old "I'M NOT GONNA DOOOO THISSSSS" trope. So predictable. I loved watching her trip and nearly fall down on the runway and then pretend it was her actual personal preference not to do runway shows in the future. The show is always so much better without her crazy ass on it. She is just gross.

The juxtaposition of TRav's creeper-white-supremacist-French against Mama and Papa Naomie's cultured-well-traveled-and-generally worthwhile-human-French is not lost on me, editors. Well played.

I'm used to suspending disbelief for this show by now, but how Carrie made it from her Brooklyn brownstone to Washington D.C. in under a minute is asking entirely too much of the audience.

Gracie both lamenting the lack of Lunchables (since when is that even a viable option?! Like, occasionally if you're out late or run out of time in the morning MAYYYYBE but for that to be their go-to "healthy" lunch is just terrifying) and later on washing the dishes made me shake my head til I got dizzy. What the fresh hell, Leah?!! And while Addie was mainlining saccharine packets her face was already covered in bluish purplish candy or Kool-Aid remains. Where I live (NYC) breakfast is only provided for low-income kids who qualify financially, and they have to arrive to school EARLY in order to eat it. Leah not only wouldn't qualify for the breakfast program here but it seems to me that in any case those kids would have been too late to eat before school started. I don't side-eye Corey & Miranda one bit, even if they're bad-mouthing Leah in front of the girlses. Frankly I don't know how they haven't taken out a contract on her lazy, indulgent, addicted ass yet. I can't help myself from LOL everytime Barb shows up and greets Jenelle, "oh HIIII Jenelle...." like the conversation hasn't even started and she's already exhausted and exasperated. Poor Barb but still.... hahahahahahaha Everything I need to know about Chelsea/Aubree/Cole was explained in one short question, "Is Cole here??" when Chelsea went to pick her up from her first day of school. She's doing everything right, that right there is LOVE.

I sure hope BrandonandTheresa are watching this show with a pen and paper handy, so they can flesh out Carly's full medical history, what with Tyler's recent invention-- er, recollection of clinical depression, attempted suicide, cutting, and theater makeup application. <yawn> We need to get Gary the Hairy Fairy: PI on the case, stat, to examine these allegations and search the public records for any documentation of such incidents. And did I hear Tyler insisting that he just "didn't pay attention" when Carly called him her dad at the wedding?! Why does Dr. Panda keep on encouraging this delusional fuckery? Where is the untherapist in all of this? Does the adoption counselor lady from Bethany Baby Stealing Inc. see this as reasonable separation? These people are off the rails unstable, each and every one. Also, April and her smug, shit-eating methface smirk can exit stage left A.NY.TIME. The self congratulatory thought bubbles floating over her addled brain make me furious. You're not better than anyone, sweetheart, and you have almost nothing to be proud of here. Good grief. What a mess.

Actually, IF ANYTHING, the only "okay" time to consume alcohol while pregnant is late in the third trimester, when all of the critical organs and systems are largely developed already. Consuming alcohol in any quantity while the fetus is still just a bunch of cells multiplying and splitting to form a human being is decidedly NOT ok and is a direct cause of FAS. The idea that Maci might have researched this issue, and made an informed decision regarding the occasional tipple during her first trimester based on what is best for her unborn child, though, is laughable.

WHYYY was she all over his damn face last night, with the squeezing and the pinching and the swatting?! I don't know what is going on behind his Ray Bans, but I have to assume it's a hell of a lot of eyerolling, and probably a bunch of weed too. GAHHHH. At one point he was actually literally sitting on his hands, probably to keep from throttling her on camera. @Brooklynista, there couldn't be enough anal in the world to make this worthwhile for him.

Mileage definitely varies on things like pacifiers and bottles and such (my pediatrician for example said pacifiers gone at 6 mos, bottles transition to sippy or "starter" cups by one year) but my point was that all we ever see this child doing is sitting around looking glazed over and sucking that damned binky. And, whatever, he's a baby so that's fine but I wish the producers/camera dudes/whoever would stop zooming in on him because: Not Interesting.

Chris' absence made absolutely no difference to the storyline, but I do wonder why, if he had to leave for "work" (or otherwise), he didn't just take the kids home with him. They were clearly not going to be participating in HW shenanigans, and no one else had young children there to entertain Kim's kids, so why not just shuttle them home already? I could watch a week straight of Ayden coloring and glittering, mind you, but I'm not interested in the male Maggie Simpson and the too-old-for-such-a-crap-attitude other one. Another MEH for Tootie. bloop bloop.

"Kenya, late to dinner. Add *that* to your list, Cynthia!" I mean, Nene is fundamentally a vile human being, but every once in awhile she really earns that peach. Heh. I do love how my girl Phaedra has no fucks to give Kenya. "More bad acting by Miss Kenya, mmmhmmm..." Overall a mostly-boring episode but definitely had a couple of lines that cracked me up. In conclusion: oh, Porsha. <<sigh>> That's not how ANY of this works. Idiot.

Constantstink looks like he hasn't showered since we last saw him in 2005. Pickles was shockingly enjoyable and has grown a lot as a performer and a human being. And I still say Haley Reinhart wuz robbed.