FrancescaFiore

Leave it to these two histrionic bitches to make their father's TIA about them. The wailing and sobbing were so ridiculous - their dad wasn't even kept in the hospital. My mom had 3 mini strokes and didn't know until her doctor told her she had them. And Mike said the truest thing he's probably ever said to them: Don't come home; you only bring more drama.

Oooooohh chile! Georgi shook the troll like a ragdoll.

I absolutely howled

Don't forget the heavyset brunette lady who wandered across the shot twice while D & S were "singing." It was Larry David-esque.

Especially because when she says it, she's really thinking, "Oppressive patriarch" and he's really thinking, "Crazy American lady."

Stellar sleuthing work! She's oh-so financially responsible! So I guess she's a good driver, but an epically shitty parker. Either that, or she was unable to manifest a legal parking spot in the Bronx.

For some reason, I remember them being parking and speeding tickets.

Ugh, what a dull episode. Nicole behaves like a bratty child, so does Mahmoud. Neither of them is mature enough to be in a relationship. Every scene with these two makes me want to knock their heads together and tell them to just break up already. There is no affection between them outside of the performative pet names they call each other, almost ironically. Seeing him get all pissy with her when she asked if she's required to wear something under the swimsuit (a totally legitimate question - I wondered too) really drove home how little slack she's getting cut being an American in Egypt. She's going to have some questions and it isn't going to work if Mahmoud bolts out the room in a huff every time his wife needs him to answer a question about his culture. I just hate these two together. I don't think I've ever hated two people as a couple on this show more. I also very much hate the cultural norms in Egypt. It's a gazillion degrees outside ALL THE TIME and the women are forced to wear dark, heavy fabric that covers them from head to toe, even in a swimming pool. Meanwhile, the men are free to remove their shirts and get relief from the stifling heat. The oppression and double standards of that culture make me angry at Nicole for agreeing to participate in it. Love is not only blind, but stupid as hell, too... evidently. Jen & Rishi... I don't care. Gabe & Isabel... the show's producers are really slipping. The attempted cliffhanger about whether Isabel's father will accept Gabe was executed so poorly, it was like they'd never done a cliffhanger before. Obviously, Isabel's dad is fine with it. The most no-drama drama ever. I can barely even look at Danielle anymore. She's just so annoying and ridiculous. "I didn't tell Yohan to rent a bigger vehicle or that I was schlepping 10 suitcases with me, but he should've psychically known so now I'm going to blame him for my lack of planning." And then the audacity to insist on driving the car and claiming to be a better driver than him. She's got a shit ton of unpaid tickets that say otherwise. I loathe her. It's amazing how differently she was portrayed on Love in Paradise, where she was just a girl who fell in love while on vacation. Now she's this hypocritical harpy trying to "manifest" a life where she doesn't have to work or pay off any of the massive debt that she's left behind. I couldn't help but smile while Debbie was enjoying that camel ride. She's such a weirdo, but a delightful one. In no way do I think she belongs in a romantic relationship with Oussama, but in that moment, they seemed to really be digging each other and the experience they were sharing. I thought it was sweet.

You guys are the best when it comes to ferreting out the real information! I had no idea that these databases were a thing, but it seemed like such a no-brainer that they should be.

Can a person get nationally barred from buying prescription meds? Is there some sort of "we think this person is a drug abuser" database that pharmacy chains keep?

They were a LOT more canoodle-y during Love in Paradise, but there were always signs of trouble from the start. The nicest thing Danielle could say about Yohan is that his dick is the size of her forearm. The nicest thing he could say about her is "maybe she's not a witch, but she does some hella witchy shit."

This week, we learn that it's possible to get not one, but TWO masters degrees without being smart enough to carefully read the incredibly salient-to-your-plans terms of a tourist visa. We also learn that Nicole is the saddest Teletubby in her modest Muslim swimsuit, that Isabel's dad is super-Jesusy, that Gabe is terrible at sending subtle signals with his eyes and that Oussama is probably the sanest, most rational person to have ever been on this show. Other than all of the performative "my loves," we have seen exactly ZERO affection or chemistry between Nicole and Mahmoud. There's something else going on with those two, and it ain't romance. It's painfully cringe watching her in every scene wincing and acting like she's constantly being stung by wasps just because she's being asked to respect the cultural norms of the place she supposedly wants to make her home. Oussama wanting to spend time with Debbie "in reality" is the wisest, most mature plan of action any couple on any season of this show have ever had. I totally don't get Debbie's outrage. I also don't understand why she'd have to go back to the US after 2 months. If living together "in reality" for the 2 months goes well, why wouldn't Debbie just stay in Morocco with Oussama? It seemed to me like he was saying that he understands that she has family and business in the US and he expects her to need to return on occasion to deal with those things. I didn't get why that made her so angry, since it seemed like he was just stating the obvious and telling her he didn't have a problem with her needing to return to the US sometimes. I really don't understand why/how these people in relationships, especially with someone in an extremely religious Muslim country, talk for years and travel all the way across the world to be together, but somehow neglect to discuss where they'll live (or with whom). I don't even plan a vacation without knowing where I'll be staying while I'm there. How do people move to a whole other country without any idea of where they're going to live once they arrive. To me, that's insanely short-sighted - something you really can't afford to be if you're going to immigrate to a new country. So Kris brought her CBD gummies (Jeymi referred to Kris' "candies," which I assumed to mean gummies) to Columbia, but not her prescription medications? I have a confuse. Actually, I don't. What I have is a suspicion that something is hinky there. I'm not quite ready to hop on the bandwagon of "Kris is a junkie," but there can be little doubt that there's something off with her and that she's not being entirely honest about who she is. I don't even want to address the scene with Gabe, Trey and Isabel because I suspect the whole thing was staged. The producers needed to inject some manufactured drama into their storyline because otherwise it's just too normal and boring. Isabel's dad doesn't seem like a zealot - he just seems like every other Columbian dad. It's clear he's fond of Gabe, and doubtful that Gabe being trans makes any difference to Dad, as long as his daughter is happy. Isabel has already produced grandkids for her parents, so that can't be the basis for any objection to her marrying Gabe. I'd like to give a quick nod of thanks to the producers for sparing us from Danielle this week. I was already irritated enough by Nicole and her sourpuss.

Oh! I forgot the most ridiculously-done-with-a-straight-face moment! Little Miss "You don't know how to run a successful business, let me help you" shows us that her brand of "help" is candles and herbs from the bottanica. And not just a few little baubles, noooo. $235 worth of bullshit Earth Mother oils and spices! These were her "necessities." And y'gotta laugh at her being so aghast that Yohan refers to what Danielle practices as "witchcraft," because that's exactly what Wicca is: creating potions and spells using herbs, candle wax, oils and other various things and ceremonially putting those things into a small pouch. It was just so absurd, her being all, "Why do you keep saying this is witchcraft?" when she's standing there with little jars full of nightshade and eye of newt.

Au contraire! In 1942, there was precious little that a 16 year old girl could do for entertainment besides go to the cinema. Heck, I went to the movies more as a 16 year old than I do as an adult. I think any movie from her teenage years is something she was probably into, the same way that teenage girls were into Titanic. ETA: Maybe I should read things more thoroughly because I toooootally misread the OP. Don't mind me, just derpin' out over here.

Well, that explains the 'Merica shirt

Nicole's facial expressions are an absolute gift to 90DF memes and gifs. She is SUCH an Eeyore. I can't help but notice that there doesn't appear to be any physical affection between she and Mahmoud. No hugs and kisses in the privacy of their room. It's been 2 years since she last saw him and they aren't even talking about wanting to have sex. Something is definitely up with that relationship. Kris and her weapons: a narcoleptic who has night terrors and is on opiates with a giant stabby-stabby: what could possibly go wrong? I felt for Gabe when he realized that he left something essential back in the States. I have a recurring nightmare about being overseas without something I absolutely NEED and I've felt that panic and the sinking feeling in my stomach when I realize I know exactly where the thing I need is: thousands of miles away. Gah! That sucks so hard! It appears that Danielle done manifested herself a shitty relationship. Why she's all up in some other woman's abortion is beyond me - seemed like some producer-manufactured bullshit to me. What does it matter to Danielle that some ex of Yohan's had an abortion? What possible relevance does that have for her? Why does she feel so strongly that Yohan owed it to her to tell her about some other lady's abortion? That's kind of not his decision to reveal. And Danielle goes straight to "You're toxic. I want you to be a different person," instead of explaining how this "lie" impacts her (it doesn't and she wouldn't be able to articulate the significance because it has none). I just think she's awfully finger-waggy for a person who likely hasn't disclosed to her husband how much debt she's in and why that means she really can't go back to the US for at least 7 years, when her credit record gets reset. And I don't think either of them can afford the K1 filing fees or an immigration attorney's fees, but I doubt that Danielle has expressed to Yohan that she's too broke to even be able to file for a visa for him. I wonder how him knowing that would effect their relationship, since he seems so interested in moving the the US so he can work and send money home to his family. Oussama seems like a sweet kid. Bless him for feeding and caring for the many stray cats of Morocco. Nevertheless, there's just no way he and Debbie are going to work out. He's naïve and she's living in a fantasy world. Regardless, I thought Julian was a dick about it when he took her to the airport. He managed to eke out a little good son behavior at the very end, but he talks to Debbie like she's incompetent and senile. She's just terrible at identifying appropriate relationships for herself, hence her 3 prior failed marriages. And she seems like she's a little... dotty. I could've sworn she was about to launch into a whole Bing Crosby/Bob Hope Road to Morocco song, but then caught herself when she realized that's a reference only she (and some of us oldie viewers) would get, but it would sail directly over her betrothed's head. And can we just talk about what a bummer his name turned out to be? I mean, do the math: 9/11 happened 22 years ago, when Oussama was 2 years old. He got to have that name for 2 years before it became the 'Adolf' of the 21st century.

I can totally see that.

Right. I did get them mixed up. Kris is in Columbia. But Columbia isn't really known for opiates. Stimulants, sure. But not opiates.

I question Nicole's commitment to living in Egypt for a number of reasons, but not the least of which is her lack of dedication to learning how to say the most basic words, like hijab. Because really Nicole? "HiGAB?" Really?? Gimme a break. And nothing has been done to quell my 'Mahmoud gives off big 'mo energy' concerns. From the way he dramatically rolls his eyes at Nicole to the campy flicks of his wrists, everything about him just screams "HOMOSEXUAL!" (And before anyone suggests cancelling me, I am a big 'mo myself. It's not a pejorative; it's a term of endearment. I got permanently banned from Television Without Pity years ago because the mods didn't understand how gay people joke about gay people & thought I was being homophobic.) Storyline aside, Nicole's facial expressions are hilarious. Especially her indignant "I don't understand" face. Watch for it - treat yo'self. Debbie has a knack for being able to justify doing clearly insane things. While her arguments for going to Morocco to marry Osama are fairly unassailable, (she's found a kindred spirit and feels it would be crazy to abandon that, she's in her sunset years and wants to live the rest of her life pursuing what she believes will make her happy, etc) her son's common sense arguments against going to Morocco are also solid and likely accurate. A prenup is a great idea, but it just scratches the surface of what Debbie should've done at that point to protect herself and her assets. Reddit seems convinced that Kris is an opiate addict, but I suspect she's just a hypochondriac. Not that the two things are mutually exclusive, but I can't imagine anyone who has a serious opiate habit being able to maintain it in a country like Morocco. And I also can't imagine any opiate addict not making damn sure that they would have access to their substance of choice before traveling to another country and I don't think opiates are as readily available in Muslim countries. I lean more toward her being a hypochondriac because she seems to have a host of allergies/health issues. I know some people like her - never met a food allergy they didn't have, has every disorder they've ever read an article about or heard about on the news. Restless leg syndrome? They have it. Fibromyalgia? Check. Celiac's? "GET THAT BAGEL AWAY FROM ME, ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME??" Unfortunately, there's a quack with a prescription pad for every loony with an insurance card, so Kris has been prescribed all manner of pharmaceuticals. This isn't something I know for a fact, but rather, something I just feel in my bones. ETA: People on Reddit are calling the trip to the pharmacy the smoking gun about Kris being an addict, but the pain meds Kris got at the pharmacy were just OTC, not prescription. Edited AGAIN to add that evidently, some medications that are Rx here in the US can be purchased OTC in Columbia. I stand corrected. I continue to love Gabe & Isabel in all of their boringness. Special thanks to TLC for giving us a break from Danielle this week. It felt good to watch a whole episode without wanting to punch my TV.

I might've misheard it, but I thought I heard Nicole's dad ask if she was going to become "a muslin."

Let me just hop aboard the bandwagon of people who wonder what's going on in Nicole's empty lil head. Because I just don't understand how she could remain so willfully ignorant about the culture of the man she's supposedly in love with. Why wouldn't she have done a little research first, before committing to changing religions and getting married to a guy who she's only known for a short time? Why wouldn't she have bothered to learn what was expected of her as a Muslim woman/wife - especially since her plan was to live within that culture? The entire scene at the airport seemed so scripted and awkward - like, why would she think she wouldn't be allowed to hug her husband in public? Every time she questions him about why he wants her to cover up, or says "I just wasn't sure what the rules are," I just want to shake her. It's not his job to make sure she knows the proper protocols when immersed in Muslim culture. Evidently, his job is selling pretty fabric and keeping himself safe from being stoned to death for being gay by pretending to be straight. Because Mahmoud is pinging my gaydar, big time. Oh, the train wreck that is Debbie. She could just as easily be on an episode of Hoarders or Intervention. She's that level nuts. I will never, for the very life of me, understand why "artist" and "bonkers life decisions" always seem to go hand in hand, but damned if this is isn't the perfect example of that. What on EARTH does she think a 24 year old boy wants with a 70 year old woman? We haven't even met Osama yet - other than the creepy little laugh he does in the previews, we know very little about him. But I'm utterly skeeved out by him and I don't know exactly why. Maybe it's his jacked up teeth. Maybe it's his granny chasing. Is Debbie planning on moving to Osama's country? I don't remember hearing anything about him proposing to her. The whole thing seems really tenuous. Still having a really hard time watching Jeyme and Kris' segments. There's something undeniably off about both of them - Kris' "offness" comes across more plainly than Jeyme's, but there's something going on there, as well. It's just super uncomfortable to watch because I can tell there are mental/emotional issues that are going to rear their ugly heads. Beyond that, there's just not any substance to their relationship that we've been shown. I hope against hope that the Gabe/Isabel storyline remains boring. There's very little that this world needs to see more than how mundane and normal their relationship is. Trans people are dull, just like us! Because trans people are.. people. Jen & Rishi remain uninteresting to me. It's just cringey storyline deja vu.

Darcey is out of her mind, thinking dressing like a straight up ho is appropriate for a first (or any) date. It's no wonder she keeps getting chewed up and spit out - she makes herself look like that's the kind of relationship she's into. Out of every season Darcey was on 90DF and every season of D & S, Michelle the dating coach is, hands down, the MVP. Not that her sage advice isn't falling on deaf ears, but at least we all finally got to witness someone telling Darcey to her now-weird-overdone face that the way she's been going about trying to land a husband is only repelling quality men and attracting losers. Meanwhile Florian is getting mean! I've never seen anyone have such a sourpuss while cake tasting! His face was far more expressive during that scene than it was the whole time the modeling agency lady was taking photos of him & desperately trying to get any expression out of him besides "dead fish." I laughed so hard at Florian getting all irritated with the modeling agency for telling him the truth about what modeling agencies in Miami look for - and pointing out that Florian doesn't currently offer those things. I think lil Flo is getting his first taste of reality outside of the "I'm a very lower-case-c-celebrity from reality TV and I expect people to treat me like I'm special" bubble he's been living in since moving to the US. At this rate, more people will have been on reality TV than haven't been, so Florian's cache is rapidly diminishing. Beyond that. he doesn't have much, if anything, to offer. He needs to come to terms with the fact that he has to get an actual job. I just don't know if he has the capacity to actually reach that epiphany. Out of every horrible person D & S have brought onto the show, I find Michael to be just about the most obnoxious, which is quite a feat considering all the awful people we've met through D & S. I can't possibly be the only one who is actively rooting for their awful, tacky brand to fail.

I can tell that Anniko & Aspen agree with me about this: Darcey needs to stop saying "snatched." She sounds like such a poser. I'd very much like to smack whoever made Darcey think that "snatched" is flattering term.

Well, hope springs eternal, but this is TLC, aka The Learning Channel that never learns its lesson about putting the sorriest excuses for human beings on television and providing them with a platform and lower-case-c celebrity. Hoping for TLC to do better is kinda like hoping for monkeys to stop hurling turds: it ain't gonna happen.

We're only 2 episodes in & haven't even met all of the train wrecks, er, I mean couples yet. This show is heavily formulaic, so if you find the formula boring, chances are good that you'll find every season of the show boring.