FrancescaFiore

Aw, you're sweet. Teenage me could've used that advice, but now I'm well into my 50s and have made the transition from short girl to little old lady. I'm good with that - until the next time something at the grocery store is on a shelf too high for me to reach. Then I'll go back to cursing my itty-bitty parents for the itty-bitty DNA.

April meeting Valentin's family had to be one of the cringiest family introductions since Ed met Rose's family. April's nervous laugh is grating AF. She also looks like she could be Valentin's mom. All that education and she still made up the word "poverish" to describe living in the DR. It's becoming more clear why she's had a hard time in relationships. Can you imagine being comfortable if your doctor was on this show? I can't. It's just so, so ill-advised for anyone with a public-facing career. Wait - really? Carlos and VaLentine are breaking up over that? That was a hella fragile relationship, then. Lidia is such a hypocrite! Her "concerns" about Scott having sent money to women in the past and the "alert" she said it gave her are nothing more than her opportunistic radar pinging. Meanwhile Scott is willing to crawl through some rough shit if it means he's gonna get laid at the end of the shit-tsunami. But if he gets involved with Lidia, the shit-tsunami has only just begun. I can't fathom that Lidia isn't a selfish lover, so... hardly worth the effort. Matthew & Ana = Brandon & Julia - Brandon's ever-present parents.

I can fault Gabe for many things, but I gotta give him props for the courage to transition into a short guy. Females can get away with being short and "cute," but short males have a much harder time out in the world. I'm a shorty and it SUCKS!

This show has a real knack for casting people with rage problems. And not just rage problems, but difficulty communicating the reason for their rage. So they communicate the rage only and come off looking crazy like Kris and Mahmoud. Like, nobody ever told some of these people that you can express anger without demonstrating it. You can communicate it verbally without physically demonstrating it. All of these people seem to have such short fuses, whether it's Nicole for crying or Kris turning on a dime and being cold & cruel. Debbie seems well-intentioned, but grossly misguided. Both re: Jeymi and also just in general re: her own relationship with Oussama. As abrasive as I find him, I kind of understand Julian's overprotectiveness of her. I don't think she's playing the game with all the pieces, if you know what I mean. Very strange that I didn't notice Danielle's prominent beaver teeth during either of her previous seasons, but during this tell all they seemed to dominate my screen. Maybe I was just trying so hard not to look at her sun-damaged decolletage that I ended up staring at her mouth. I don't know but it looks like she gets hers next week and I am there for it. Maaaaaan, Rishi got brutalized from every angle! In some ways entirely fairly, but in other ways why isn't Jen equally culpable for the relationship continuing, despite Rishi's parents rejecting her? And her rejecting what they want, as well? Why didn't anyone take her to task for continuing to see him and engage romantically with him? She's a grown woman and she should at some point be held accountable for her own actions and choices instead of putting that all on him. And what's with the ultimatum in the preview for next week where she threatens Rishi to end the relationship if his parents ever say that she's too old again? How can he control what they say? How is that a reasonable ultimatum? I really question how much of this is entirely Jen's own fault. I appreciate Gabe trying to clarify why he came at Mahmoud so sideways about being Muslim, but he still came off like an asshole and really didn't need to be making all of the faces. I think Gabe just needs to grow up a little bit. Mahmoud could also use some growing up. It's hilarious to me that even somebody all the way in Egypt knows to follow the trope of ripping off your microphone and angrily walking away. It's such a cliche. Like screaming "I'm going to my trailer!" and storming off the set.

You. Guys. I just saw a clip from next week's Tell All where Debbie calls Jeymi a predator. IN WHAT BIZARRO UNIVERSE?? Debbie is the one who fell for an obvious scam. Does Debbie not know that Jeymi is an attorney? Did she not see Kris physically assault Jeymi? I mean, it's clear that Debbie is a bit bonkers, but that clip leads me to believe she's actually quite delusional and may require a conservator.

It never occurred to me until last night, but it must've just BURNED an attention-seeker like Kris to have shared a stage with Debbie, a far more flamboyant and fun fashionista than Kris in her goofy tutus or multiple arm-scarves. Meanwhile, diaphanous Debbie floats in wearing a hot pink boa and green cowboy boots like, "This is just my puttering around the house attire."

Things really took a turn for the ugly last night. I was surprised to see Kris become physically violent out of nowhere and Gabe who I've thought was lovely all season, really went on the warpath during the Tell All and I saw a different side to him that I don't care for. During the Tell All, Nicole comes off as less ditzy and less of the Georgia Engalls type (that's an old Mary Tyler Moore Show reference for those of you under 50). It seems like her whole personality was cowed in Egypt, but she's more herself in the US. Mahmoud has a very short fuse that does not bode well for his assimilation in America. Because people are going to ask him the kind of questions Gabe asked him in the way that Gabe asked them which is very judgmental and confrontational. I appreciated Shawn chiming in to ask whether there would be as much scrutiny if Nicole and Mahmoud were talking about raising children in any other religion than Muslim. Gabe definitely overstepped and using the word forced is deliberately provocative. Given Gabe's life experience, one would hope he would be a little more open-minded but it seems like maybe he is living a bit of a double standard. He relies on open-minded people to accept him for who he is, but he has a lot of harsh judgments about who other people are. I was disappointed in his behavior. As entertaining as all of his facial expressions are, he's not making himself more likable. I still don't quite understand what set Kris off. She wouldn't let Jeymi finish a sentence before she interrupted her, and when Jeymi tried to keep talking, Kris flipped out & turned into a textbook abusive spouse. " I told you to shut the fuck up but you kept talking, so now I'm done." Huh? You are ending your relationship because your partner refuses to obey your every command? WTF? I've said this before and I will say it again, despite all of the irresponsible speculation about whether or not Kris has a drug abuse problem, we've not seen any real evidence of that. However what we have seen is that Kris abuses people. Not necessarily her medicines but she definitely abuses people. Oussama played himself. Boy should never have given up the ghost the way he did when he told her it was about a green card from the jump. Can't put that toothpaste back in the tube, can't unring that bell. I'm so glad that Debbie saw through all of the attempts to love bomb her back into the relationship. I think my favorite thing that has not happened yet but we have seen in the previews is that Danielle gets a rude awakening about her relationship. She came in all full of piss and vinegar saying I get to say whatever I want to say and he has to just take it. Turns out, not so much. Looks like Yohan is over that old shrew. Good. I just couldn't help but remember during their love in Paradise season her laughingly using his lack of understanding of English to keep him in the dark about her plans to never move him to the US.

For like 10 minutes. I doubt he was so distraught that he didn't show up for his wedding. Also, him being late could very likely have been some producer-manufactured fuckery. I've just noticed that some people have really been grasping at straws to find fault with Gabe when the fact of the matter is that he's been one of the least egregious American fiancés who have ever been on the show. He chose a partner who is age-appropriate, on par with his own attractiveness, isn't using him for a green card, genuinely loves him and is someone he genuinely loves. He gets along with her family and with her kids. Yet, there are people still insisting that Gabe is somehow evil incarnate or has some glaring fatal flaw every time they disagree with his response to an emotionally charged situation. Despite the fact that his responses have always been calm and nonviolent, unlike some of the other people on this show (Pole, Angela, Danielle, whats-her-face with Gino, etc.).

Why they gotta ruin my Tell All drinking game of Who Tears Off Their Mic And Storms Off?

Best Use of "Talk to the hand" since it was popular in the 90's: Debbie I've seen endless armchair diagnoses to this effect, but I've never seen anything physical that leads me to conclude Kris is abusing opiates. No track marks. Still has nice teeth. Not rail-thin/eyes not sunken in. I've now seen ample proof that Kris abuses people, but not that she abuses opiates. Wait - the whole family is "chaotic?" How is the mom chaotic? How is Gabe? And it's really presumptuous to say Gabe has issues and needs therapy because he's trans. Gabe transitioned a decade ago and I'm sure that alone lifted a huge weight from his psyche. The worst thing I can say about what we've been shown of Gabe's flaws is that he needs to be more assertive and less dismissive. He's still a young man and he has lots of time to learn those things. But dang... assuming he's "chaotic" and disruptive to Isabel's life is an enormous freakin' leap, there. There's an effort to be empathetic in what you wrote, so I'm assuming you didn't mean to broad-brush paint all trans people as "having oodles of issues." This isn't meant as an admonition, but rather, as more of a nudge toward better, more holistic understanding between the cis & trans communities.

It's his wedding day - he's a little too busy to deal with his sister's hissyfit. But given that the only people from Gabe's family attending the wedding are his mom and sister, it's obvious why it meant so much to him for them both to be there. This has nothing to do with "being a man," and everything to do with the fact that according to Gabe, standing up to his sister was what caused the big argument that resulted in her saying she wasn't coming to the wedding. Monica's behavior isn't Gabe's fault - it's her own fault.

Getting married is incredibly stressful and emotional. Having a close family member try to sabotage your wedding day over some petty-ass bullshit would be infuriating! I honestly don't know how Gabe wasn't crying more. AND screaming and throwing things. You seem to want to blame Gabe for how his sister is acting, and I don't get that. SHE is the bad guy here, not Gabe. He's just trying to have everyone get along. The one thing I agree with you on is that Gabe & Monica's mom should've done more to intervene. However, I still think all that drama was manufactured. What are the odds that the producers didn't get to film the supposed big fight between Gabe and Monica? Slim to none. If there was real drama to be filmed, the TLC ghouls would've filmed it. I feel like she did that for comic effect, for the cameras. Because "This place is a desert for a margarita" was hilariously out of place. I don't buy into Debbie's schtick of "I'm just an eccentric old lady with a bohemian artist's soul." The Debbie character is a deliberately exaggerated caricature of the real Debbie. That whole scene at the café seemed to me like it was a setup for the tired old trope of older women turning to alcohol to deal with their problems. Danielle and Yohan make me tired. Holy cats, did Kris turn into a flagrantly emotionally abusive, gaslighting spouse with the quickness! "That's it! I'm done. I TOLD you to shut the fuck up and you didn't." Just.. wow. She also seems to continue that abusive behavior at the Tell All, mocking Jeymi's heartbreak and calling her a "victim." I tried to defend Kris all season from the rampant speculation/accusations that she's a junkie because I just wasn't seeing any of the telltale signs, (bad skin/teeth, sunken eyes, gaunt, drawn features, track marks etc.) but I sure as hell am seeing telltale signs of her being an abusive person. Jen sure turned on a dime, didn't she? From being all over-the-moon because Rishi's family seemed receptive to her at first to telling him to stop wasting her time and giving him back his ring. Not that I disagree with the outcome, (Jen and Rishi were doomed from the start based just on the age difference/her probable inability to have children at 48) but Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum really didn't help matters. Nevertheless, Rishi is deluding himself if he thinks that he can convince his parents to accept Jen as a daughter in law. I didn't miss Nicole and Mahmoud this week, but for those who did, I'll recap what you "missed": My love, my dear, I love you, my love, blouse, blouse, blouse, hat, hat, argument, pouting.

I don't have kids so I don't know whether all kids are as whiny and insufferable as Jessica's kids, but daaaaammn! She's raising a couple of entitled, petulant little jerks. And what was with her not lifting a finger to get her picky-ass son's breakfast? I already feel like Juan is getting treated like he's the help. Grape Ape and Lidia have only ever talked about sex and sex adjacent things. And even then, it's been through a translation app. What makes either of those two clowns think they have any sort of emotional connection? It'll be interesting to see him meet and have to deal with Nicole, who is the garbage person fruit that didn't fall far from the garbage person tree. Right off the bat, she's asking super inappropriate questions and showing that she has zero decorum or class. Grape Ape might be a hapless horndog, but nobody deserves to be subjected to those two nasty, trashy skanks. April seems like she's able to learn from books, but has not the faintest clue how to go through life without being a total sucker. She seems to have done a lot of work to change the way she speaks and the way she carries herself. The contrast between the way her sisters speak and carry themselves was pretty jarring. It could be that April is just not a super deep person, but because she's thorough and meticulous, (and riddled with OCD/germaphobia) she's worked on the surface things and honed those things to a tee. The chirpy, sing-songy voice she greets her patients in is not her real voice. I don't know how else to describe her other than... hollow? Like a stage set with a beautiful façade with very little support behind it. She's almost more persona than person. Jordan, I don't care about your voicemail. Go pop a balloon with your buttcheeks, you walking, talking migraine.

Rings true. Although evidently, Danielle (who I keep mis-typing as Damnielle.. lol) was also living rent-free, as she left owing something like $60k in back-rent. So looks like eeeeeerrrrryyyybodddddy got screwed.

Oh, sweet Summer child Oussama! Thinks America is the land of milk & honey for artists! 🤣😆 Imagine his utter devastation if he ever gets here! Who told him America values art and poetry? How apt that both Oussama and Debbie were both deluding themselves. She thought she could parlay their odd connection into an artist's retirement in Morocco; he thought he had his hooks in a US visa. The drama surrounding Gabe & Isabel's wedding feels manufactured to me. What feels genuine is that Gabe fiddles with his beard or lips when he's anxious. As much as I loathe Danielle, I have to say that outside of insisting on meeting Yohan, (which could have been producer fuckery) Taylen seemed pretty chill. But something HAS to be off for him to be so fond of Danielle, who is obviously a shrew. And now we also see Yohan's assholish side slipping out, too. Interesting that Taylen said he hadn't seen "the emotional side" of Danielle. I thought they were live-in lovers for a few months - but I guess he saw more of her back side than her emotional side. I swear, that lady MUST be a witch, because how else is she getting these dudes?? Rishi's mom brought up a point I hadn't really thought about for some reason: children. Of course Rishi's mom wants grandkids! And she expected her son to care for her in her old age, not for his elderly wife. Does Jen even want kids? Does Rishi? Have they talked about it? They had to have known that topic would come up. Seriously, what was their plan? I didn't miss Nicole and Mahmoud's story this week, but I did miss seeing the Blouse or Hat of the Week.

This picture is likely the only redeeming thing about Scott. Because let's be real: he doesn't speak Spanish, Lidia doesn't speak English. How much real, deep conversation could they have possibly had? Both of them seem super focused on sex, too. This is just an international booty call, not a romance.

Dude has THE weirdest philtrum I've ever seen on a human. It makes his face look apeish. He also has enormous teeth. He's just super cartoonish looking. Reminds me of Magilla Gorilla (a reference for those of us who are of a certain age & grew up watching cartoons). Edited to say that I just looked up Magilla Gorilla and Grape Ape. I've concluded that Scott looks more like Grape Ape. Just... philtrum-wise.

Okay, so I'm confused as hell on the timeline for Lidia. Wasn't it like, 2 years ago that Nicole got her braces off? And IIRC, she got her boobs done after that. But now I'm questioning my recollection because she still had braces, but her boobs had already been done in episode 1 of Lidia's story. And sorry, I'm not buying into the bullshit backstory they're trying to rewrite for Lidia. Nicole tried to say her father is a liar, but the fact was that Lidia was always just a side piece and she knew it. Pedro and Nicole's father was some older perv who saw a teenage Lidia and decided to bed her. The fact that she had two of his kids didn't seem to matter much. He bought her stuff, so she had a couple of his kids. She was very matter of fact about how it was transactional and there was never any love between them. But NOW we're supposed to feel all sorry for Lidia? Nope. I will not be disrespected like that today! I hope Scott and his sweet good doggo will be very happy together. Jessica's kids whining in the car made my last good egg dry up. Good luck with that, Juan. VaLentine & Carlos were so cute in their first season, but it's clearly gone horribly sideways since then.

Rishi's unable to keep a straight face as he flagrantly lies to Jen about flirting with other women online. And is TLC paying for friends of cast members to fly to other countries to cause drama, now? Because maybe I want to fabricate a friend who's in love with someone in Bali or Fiji. I could use the vacay. Of course, I'd be MORTIFIED if my friends came to another country to see me and they behaved like Jen's friends, screaming, "OH MY GAWWWWWWWD!" every 5 seconds, or pointing out how dirty the streets are. Yes, it's different there. But can you have a modicum of tact and decorum? A squinch of respect for the culture? Kris makes zero sense. So she needs to stay in Alabama doing odd jobs (evidently Kris has no professional skills, so she's looking for the same kind of work that 14 year old boys do for a few extra bucks while on summer break) because she and Jeymi need to save money, but she sends all the money she makes to Jeymi, who uses it to live off of, because SHE doesn't work. So how exactly is Kris working toward getting back to Columbia? And needing money wasn't something they anticipated? Why were they looking at $20,000 food trucks if they have no money? Oh hey, whaddya know? I still loathe Danielle. Incidentally, we don't do things for people we love to get a thank you. She made Yohan's birthday about her not getting credit for that birthday party. She's insufferable. How is Oussama's sister so pretty? I mean, lucky for her she didn't get her father's nose or teeth like her brother did. The one shot of Oussama's mom looking at Debbie like WTF was priceless. But his parents seem really lovely and I was impressed with Debbie's ability to tone down her eccentricity and just be her charming, funny self with them. It was sweet to see them all laughing together. Okay, so I get Isabel's disappointment about Gabe's birth certificate causing a delay in their wedding, but I really don't get why she was mad at him for not getting his documents back from the government. I wouldn't even know how to go about retrieving documents that I'd submitted to the government, much less documents from a decade ago. I know that the visa issues create a problem and that's why they want to marry right away, but they've got their whole lives together - a few more months isn't the worst thing in the world. Gabe's reasoning for not having his birth certificate is understandable - he had no idea he'd ever need it. And he was so young and so over the moon about transitioning, the paperwork didn't matter to him. I'm rooting for these two - I just really like them both and that's unheard of when it comes to the people who go on this show. At least one party to the couple always seems to be a huge problem. Sometimes, they're both problematic. Rarely are they both likeable.

Maybe she taped her cooch, too.

Where did he even get it from? Did he bring his own crown?

Am I the only person who was horrified by one of the boozy friends of D & S grinding on Georgi and on papa Mike on the dance floor? I mean, the flasks at the rehearsal were bad enough - these chicks were waaaaaaaaassted at the reception. And the wedding. Those two would be ideal candidates for Intervention, if they had any actual friends who cared about them. Nice toast, drunky Michael. What. An. Asshole. He just has to make himself the center of attention, even on someone else's special day. I'm kind of surprised to see what a schlub D & S' mom is. Not a glamorpuss at all. Does mom get second billing because dad is the one with the funds? It really seems like they treat their mom like an afterthought. She was treated like any other guest, not like the mother of the bride. Something seems to be off with that relationship. D & S have so much adoration and flowery things to say about their dad, but not a word about their mother. It's odd.

sot noun a habitual drunkard. verb ARCHAIC drink habitually. "the few reckless vagabonds with whom he sotted in the alehouse"

This is true. But just the fact that they KNEW there'd be booze later at the rehearsal dinner, but that wasn't booze soon enough, so they both had to supplement with their flasks, tells me the next reality show we're likely to see either Debbie or Reina on is Intervention. I don't mean to be judgy, but it kinda seems like only genuine sots need flasks. Because only genuine sots require access to booze at all times. I'm not a drinker, so maybe I'm dumb and don't know the not-sot reason to carry a flask, so I'm open to being educated. The lead up to Stacey and Florian's wedding was about as joyful and went about as well as the lead up to Connor & Willa's wedding on Succession.

At the rehearsal, Stacey looks like she was styled, head to toe, by Wish.com. D & S's lush friends each brought a flask to the rehearsal. No way they were dealing with this dumpster fire sober!