Sofa Sloth

She’s making money because she has enough sycophant gullible sellers under her now to not have sell as much herself. She’s a ‘trainer’ in the pyramid (which means high up). She likely can live off the sales of her downline comfortably at this point, and her main job now is swanning around to their locations and cracking the whip on THEM to sell, sell, sell! to send that money up the pyramid to her. Also note to old Mare, (as I know you read here). While you ARE mentally twelve, 🚨spoiler alert 🚨 you’re actually 48 years old. Referring to yourself as a ‘girl’ all the time, is sad and desperate. That ship has long sailed love, you’re a middle-aged woman, let’s try act like it now huh? Good chat.

I love this!! Just added a bit more in bold to it, that I fill may have also been in the fambily agenda memos. What’s the bet he also did a powerpoint presentation meeting about ‘presenting a united front on social media to secure TLC income’ similar to the Flagstaff move one? 😉

It is Aurora, she’s 17 now and wearing make up. Looks like more Brown damage control to insist she still hangs out with the other kids and has a relationship with them if you ask me. But Robyn’s kids don’t count Meri, it’s always been painfully obvious they are favored by you. Looks like much of the family was there at the concert. Gwen has a pic of her and Ysabel and Christine there too. Meri’s acting like it’s a date with Aurora. Happy fambily 🙄

Ok it’s official. She’s mentally twelve years old.

My favorite part was the fact that their ‘strict modestly standards’ she even applied to her wedding dress, don’t apply on loved-up holidays. I’m sure post-partum Christine (and overweight Janelle and Meri) were thrilled to watch the fit lithe new wife flaunting her pins on the beach with their husband of nearly 20 years. Like Meri with the abseiling Mexican trip too, for one so shocked by upper arms cleavage and thighs, we saw waaay too much of her chesticles then (ironically the very thing she blasted Mykelti for once in a modest-by-comparison t-shirt). If that was really a tenet of their faith like they claimed, then there are plenty of more modest (and sun safe) swim shirts. They are so full of it.

Yes sorry! I just did some google research as my memory is obviously rusty. So they went to California for first one! Then jetted off to Hawaii after they became legally married in December 2014. Robyn claimed at the time the trip wasn’t a honeymoon, it was instead a trip for her birthday in October (despite the fact they’d just got legally married. Seems legit 🙄) She also said she saved up her grocery money to pay for Hawaii. Poor DaytonAuroraBreanna, I guess Christine had to feed them for a few months prior, lucky she had all those food stamps to rely on.

https://allaboutthetea.com/2016/05/17/he-identity-of-meri-browns-catfish-lover-face-revealed/ This article has some more info.

This is how I recall it happening too. I feel like it was definitely pieced together and the producers scrambled to recreate bits to have them be a united front like when they had Meri pretend it was ALL HER idea and presented it to Kody and Robyn (who could barely contain her glee) that she decided to divorce him, out of the blue, on her own free will. Sure Jan 🙄 And yeah, the wives were sitting around bitching while they were on their first honeymoon to Hawaii, they still lived in Lehi then, sitting in camp chairs at a picnic, complaining that they all only got a road trip around Utah and Wyoming for a few days for their honeymoon and 11 days was excessive. The secret honeymoon after the legal marriage was never publicly acknowledged (and probably passed off as an innocent unrelated holiday to the wives), obviously due to the fact it blows the narrative that it was ‘simply a paperwork shuffle’ and meant nothing. It was painfully obvious to all with eyes, the wives struggled and it DID mean a lot and matter, particularly to Meri. The fact she was continuously crying and morose throughout the process of the ‘simple paperwork shuffle’ divorce, meanwhile Robyn and Kody were waltzing around like smug overjoyed lovebirds at their legal marriage at the courthouse.

I’d say now that’s true, but they sure made a scene about it the first birth she missed. There was even a hostile special trip to Nancy the therapist regarding the topic if I recall (in their own separate cars naturally). 🙄 It will be interesting to see the next season play out as it really does appear on social media Meri’s completely checked out of family events. How can they possibly sell us the plyg family together dream, now it’s painfully obvious she’s never there except when filming requires.

So the PR talk to tighten up appearances has definitely happened 😂 Look who now not only follows the daughter that she’s in pyramid scheme competition with, that she previously didn’t... but is even now commenting on her posts! Well well well.

In any case, the fact that this selfish douche lord STILL has his fancy two seater sports car when he has eleventy young kids and teens at home, tells me all I need to know about him. Full-time asshat, part-time father indeed. I guess transportation of the fruit of his loins is the woman’s work.

Two options here - 1) She filtered and face tuned her eyebrow into obscurity while trying to delete her wrinkles 2) She was pissed about not being invited to Maddie’s birth again and had her usual ugly adult tantrum, later when inadvertently wiping her eye boggers and plotting revenge, she accidentally went too high and smudged the handiwork she had drawn on earlier with Areola’s brown crayon; she then didn’t bother to check herself before posting a dig photo aimed at all the other Brown’s, by declaring a random person in her pyramid scheme her ‘fav person eva!’ FYI haters, she didn’t bother to check her eyebrow because she loves herself just the way she is, brown tooth, mismatched clothes, MLM, half an eyebrow and all, so it’s all ok.

It’s definitely Kody, here’s him wearing the same shirt as pictured with Axel above. There’s a video on the TLC website (but I can’t watch it due to being in Australia so let me know what’s said if anyone watches) https://www.tlcme.com/shows/sister-wives/video-playlists/sister-wives-videos/#video-1

I love this amazing and under utilised word crotchety! It also works very well. I would like to propose (and then I’ll get right back to Christine or move to small talk mods I promise), pending the founders permission of course, that COL is an inclusive club and members can be either Clueless Old Ladies or Crotchety Oldish Ladies or any mix of the above, as long as they come together for their common mission statement, of not tolerating the Brown’s loitering on their lawn with their grifting ways.

I’m only in my thirties but I’ve just gone and invited myself to the clubhouse and nobody’s turned the hose on me yet 🤞🏼 It’s fairly inclusive here, I’m sure you’ll be fine. Mariah would be proud of us.

Well I’m not sure how many Brush babies Maddie plans on having but there’s lots of great options to go with Evaginalynn. I’ve taken the liberty of including the nicknames she can use also, instead of calling the kid the given name too (as is the case for Areola and Evaginalynn). My picks:- Jenatalia (Jen, Nat or Talia) Cunilingus (Gus or Cunny) Gonorria (Ria) Syphillyis (Philly) Orgasma (Orgy... 🤔)

Why does it look like she’s wearing socks? If it is #toomuchheat why is she then wearing a long-sleeve, heat attracting black, sweaty, clingy polyester dress and standing in the sun? Why does the pattern look like a close up of a virus 🦠? How do Lularobbery take a fail proof wrap dress concept and somehow make it so unflattering? I just always have questions with Mykankles posts.

This sounds about right. She gave birth on TV for money, only to throw said money down the drain, in the form of an expensive car. There is a saying that ‘a car devalues the instant you drive it off the lot’ and it’s absolutely true. Cars are a money suck and you should only buy expensive cars if your wealthy enough to justify losing a ton of money. I seem to recall they all upgraded their cars just after they moved into the McMansions, (which seems like a smart plan when you also just took on massive mortgages but that’s Brown logic for you). Side note: We never buy brand new cars, A family member is a car dealer and my husband got a dealers licence under him, so we buy used wholesale at dealers auctions, we fix them up, detail and repair them as necessary over time (while using them as our personal vehicles) and are able to resell making profit or at least breaking even (if we like one and keep it a few years). Some cars only need a good clean and detail and minor parts replaced to turn small profit in private sale. I may look like a Duggar, but they’ve got the right idea there and much more savvy than the Browns. I refuse to lose good money on expensive cars.

Wow! Low-key alright 😆 What a pity she wasn’t deep in the Lularobbery scheme then, or she could have seen him in his jaunty fedora, dress shirt, tie, knee socks and Oxford shoes and raised him with her best mismatched striped tee, floral skirt, scarf, vest, smart watch and uggs. They would have made such an inconspicuous pairing and been oh so subtle on their little theme park rendezvous. Exactly. That’s why this is so incredibly sad actually, as she’s obviously incredibly starved for adult affection and attention since her sister wives and ‘husband’ hate her, (not saying it’s not deservedly) so she clings onto the ‘sisterhood’ of the Pyramid where they all kiss each other’s bums to make more money, but the minute this scheme crumbles her ‘best BFF’s’ are out of there on to the next. She’s left alone waiting for the show to film so Mariah comes to see her and she’s forced to interact with the family. It’s been said a thousand times but this lifestyle is not for Meri. She’s too domineering and controlling to go with the sister wife flow and too bitter, uninvolved and unlikable to establish relationships with the children (that aren’t hers). There’s what? like 19 hundred people in that family and she can’t fulfil her desire for company from within, with anyone except Mariah? Just leave already woman.

It’s so bad it doesn’t even need to be changed to make fun of. It looks like the kind of made-up name (the kind that resembles a name but isn’t), that pharmaceutical companies give to a drug. Young woman: ‘so doc, I need to find a new contraceptive pill’. Doctor: ‘ok what oral contraceptive have you already tried? Let’s see here, Levelen, Aranelle, Estellea...’ Young Woman: ‘yes I’m currently taking Eviane but I’ve also tried Natazia so what else is there? Doctor: ok well Evangalynn is the newest one. Let’s start you on that, once a day. Side effects can be acne, weight gain and bloating...’ I’m likely going to hell.

He legitimately looks 42. It’s that unfortunate receding hairline that does it. I actually didn’t realise he was so much older than Maddie, she must have practically been a teenager when they become romantically involved then? Bit gross. I agree with whoever said it above about Maddie being a bit of a disappointment. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be a mom (or even a young mom for that matter), but it’s great to have some ambition and vision for yourself beyond motherhood also. For all the talk about her going to college and law school in the early show seasons, she’s ended up a 23 year old college dropout with two kids and a failed MLM under her belt, meanwhile in comparison her sis-in-law Michelle is kicking the actual education and career goals in Law that Maddie had once dreamed of and setting up a stable financial future for her family one day without MLM and TLC. Go Michelle! Maddie, you’re a dud, sorry not sorry. Evie is much better than Evaginalynn (or whatever that spellingk they chose whey they butchered that perfectly nice name), plus being short and snappy, it’s harmonious with Axel too. Just throw Evaginalynn in the trash and go with Evie.

Microblading is perfect for those with thyroid problems, when brow tails can fall out and get sparse. Microblading will create those little hair strokes on the tails giving you back your full brows. I probably recommend to continue to tint your brows and get Microblading (to match with the color you tint) on the tails and blended gently through the brows. If it’s done correctly you won’t even know it’s not your real brows. Find a good technician and have a chat in person. Just FYI when on thyroid medications you may need touch ups a little more frequently. Sometimes color fades a little more quickly with those with hypothyroidism. Good luck and keep us updated if you go ahead 😊

You’re so welcome. Make sure you do due diligence with your research and go over before and after photos of the technician with a fine tooth comb. Talk to others who’ve had nice results and get recommendations. Remember that it’s art and you will get what you pay for, so look for someone in demand and not too cheap. Before you commit to tattooing also, you can try a professional shape and tint to see if you like the look. You be surprised (even if you have little to work with) what a good beauty therapist can achieve with a shape and tint. Tinting can very temporarily (3-7 days) give a stain to the skin and give you a good indication of how you may feel with more fuller brows. Haha the way of our image obsessed world nowadays Kohola. There’s a beauty specialist for everything 😊 There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you never having touched your brows, if they’ve never bothered you or you’re not inclined! That’s a good thing, they likely look great as they are and you don’t need too. If you did decide to try something, try a tint and shape first. Oh that’s great! It sounds like you had a very good reputable technician which most are, but you do get what you pay for. I see poor jobs walking around occasionally, but I notice more in the form of technical execution, not shape (that’s often the clients own fault with at home make up and tweezing). Eyebrows need to fit your face and colouring and compliment their natural shape. It’s art and it needs someone with a delicate hand, finesse, skill, professionalism and the ability to say ‘NO that wouldn’t be flattering for you, here’s why...’ when someone requests the sperm shape or other unnatural looks. Obviously customer satisfaction is important, but those brows are going to be walking around town with people discussing them and they have your name on them! Let’s just say, I would die if my name was professionally linked to Meri’s brows (or any of the Brown’s brows for that matter!)

Ok I’m bummed I somehow missed all this eyebrow chat in real time, but I’ll jump in here late to the party. This was my career for years (before I switched to cosmetic injecting), so I can hopefully answer some questions. There are two commonly used techniques nowadays with regard to eyebrow tattooing. Eyebrow feathering, which imitates the appearance of real eyebrow hairs. Tiny fine lines resembling hair strokes can be created by a hand held tool with several tiny needles, which is called microblading. Microblading involves making tiny scratches in the dermal layer of the skin by gliding needles making thin tracks where pigment is then deposited. This look works great for clients who want to fill in gaps in the brow line or create brows where hair has been lost. I often recommended microblading for fair-skinned, fair-haired clients, or clients with sparse brows hoping to achieve a natural result. Then there’s Powder fill or solid fill technique (also referred to as block method) which is beneficial for more mature clients. The pigment usually lasts longer and will look denser but it can be made to look very natural and soft when done correctly. Powderfill eyebrows have greater impact and longevity than hair-strokes (aka feathering) and resemble the look of using a brow powder. You can also do a combination of feathering and solid fill techniques by using some strokes to create a natural hair look and then add in soft shading through the rest of the brow to create a natural ombré look. Strokes are usually drawn around the edges, where they’ll be the most visible and then powered shading is added to the body of the brow to give it a fuller appearance. Block method would be what Meri has had, although I’m not convinced she’s had them done as NO decent technician I know, would create a shape this hideous! The tails are too far down her temple and the arch overly rounded. (I’m hoping it’s just a bad case of self-placed eyebrow powder, or that technician should really not be practising!) For those considering getting it done, take into account your technician’s qualifications, experience and look closely at their before and after photos. The technician should shape your eyebrows with a pencil first and design your brows using your facial dimensions to enhance your best features & achieve symmetry and get your approval in the mirror before they go anywhere near you with semi-permanent ink! They should also consult with you regarding the color. Powdered brows traditionally last for 2-4 years, while microblading usually lasts 18 months-3 years. It isn’t permanent (unlike body tattooing), as the ink is deposited more superficially in the dermal layer of the skin. You can always expect them to be dark initially, but the ink is absorbed by your body over time; the immune system will digest the ink and also push out the pigment, so as the skin cells naturally turn over, it fades. You will require touch ups, but at least you won’t be stuck forever with eyebrows that you no longer like if your face changes or eyebrow trends change over time! Hope that helps anyone out who had questions! X

Me too! I was laughing thinking ‘oh haha good one, wonder what they really did call her though?’ Maddie just lost another rung on my ladder of respect for that one. I once had a client who’s unfortunate name was Anita Crapp. 💩 Crapp was her married name too, so she actually had a choice with that one!