Sofa Sloth

Ok, this guy is in dire need of a grammar lesson or ten. I used to think he could perhaps help Mykelti proofread her posts, but obviously that’s not going to help. Here’s a lesson for free FT - Where ✖️We’re✔️ Let’s use these in a sentence to help you differentiate them - Where are we? We’re right back where we were, with Mykelti wearing only slightly more hodgepodge and horrific rags than usual. scotish ✖️Scottish✔️ Argghhh. I wonder if he would like his culture referred to as mehican. Capitalise and spell check you buffoon, before posting to the masses. It’s really not hard. My gorgeous wife !!✖️ My gorgeous wife!✔️ No need for double exclamation marks here FT. One, that is grammatically incorrect and two, is she that gorgeous that any are even necessary for emphasis? I mean calm down, she’s not a taco, so just one at the most will suffice mate, (extra points off for random space before double exclamation mark also).

Wow! Accurate. Brick walls, maniacal laughs, dog shots, trendy drinks. But this below extract really resonates for her - 👌🏼 ‘I became convinced that I was so fascinating. If I was the centre of attention on my phone, that should translate into being the centre of attention in real life. It makes you the worst kind of dick: entitled, self obsessed, and incredibly dull because the only thing you think about is yourself. And it wasn’t helped by being in my 20s and so naturally inclined to think the world revolves around me’

Thank you, thank you, you’re far too kind 😘

Agree, while I never liked him, in very earlier seasons he was somewhat more palatable and tolerable for sure. It was an interesting insight into the dynamic of that lifestyle at first and you thought, ok this guy seems fairly genuine, but at some point, he let his fake guard down and showed what an asshat show pony he actually was, multiple times. I really started hating on him around the time of Truely’s birth, when he was clearly more preoccupied with Robyn, than the difficult situation his pregnant wife was going through, she was abandoned and preparing the baby nursery alone, while he sauntered out of town, being enamoured with the new thing Robyn and doing the bare minimum for Christine’s emotional needs at a vulnerable time while ignoring the needs of his newborn daughter also.

I kind of understand what you are saying here. There is the old saying if you can’t say anything nice you shouldn’t say it. Sometimes I do remind myself she is a real person not a fictional character to analyse. However I agree with @laurakaye, my feelings are the behaviour portrayed by some of the Browns, is the behaviour you sometimes wish you could call people out in real life for. Of course social convention rightly dictates you should live and let live and makes this highly unacceptable, but humans are judgemental creatures by nature. You give us a scenario and we can ALL have an opinion on it, secret or spoken. Mariah is choosing to live her life in the public eye and controlling her narrative to her advantage for financial reward. She is putting herself out to the masses and selling herself for money basically. What she is surrendering, is the right to control what other people think of her. You will receive unwanted opinions if you do that. Its par for the course. To me, this forum gives a nice outlet to snark with like-minded people and let out my true opinions and feelings of a person who (rightly or wrongly) is fair game for scrutiny. As she’s continued to remain public, being analysed openly is the deal with the devil she’s made. I wouldn’t want people to discuss my life, so I’d never sacrifice my privacy for money. That’s a choice she has made now in adulthood. My social media is locked down private and even then, I share minimal aspects of my life. I’m an introvert by nature. That said, I also live by the philosophy, that what other people think of me, is none of my business. Despite all the negative opinions I give on Mariah, she’s obviously a confident girl to decide to continue to live the public way she is. I’m very much joking, when I say she reads this forum, or would care what any of us have to say about her. Snark on my like-minded friends. It’s healthier to get it out here in a safe way, then to blast someone similar you may know in real life. 😂

Ugh. This is what’s wrong with this social media obsessed world. Narcissistic twat waffles go to overpriced and overrated places, to take narcissistic selfies of themselves, to post on social media, to boast about having been somewhere, to gain likes and followers, to feed their egos and wallets, and the cycle repeats again with a fresh crop of ‘influenced’ morons, until a place that is decidedly average goes from trendy and cool, to then completely overhyped. Nobody goes anywhere to experience things anymore, they just go to get the perfect photo proof they’ve been there. I find it all sad. Like all those phones in the air at concerts. Put them down. Immerse yourself in the live experience and the moment. You’re never going to watch the wobbly crappy footage again trust me, so enjoy what’s in front of you. Sorry I got sidetracked, I just see Mariah as the epitome of the above description, despite her protests she’s so woke. I’m really looking forward to this new Instagram change, in Australia they’re now trialling the removal of likes on post so they can’t be seen, (thus removing a major component on the bargaining power an influencer has to sell themselves to companies with). Bye bye influencer marketing 🤞🏼 🙏🏼

Yeah absolutely. There’s been more than a few headlines I’ve seen of dimwit people getting impaled by these replica type things. Once they reproduce (shudder) they’d surely have to grow up and get rid of them, as that is a major safety risk if they fell off or were pulled off by a curious child. Also @TurtlePower I’m very embarrassed that you highlighted a glaring grammatical error of mine I didn’t notice until now (hangs head in shame). At least it’s in good company, being as it's immortalised in Mykelti’s thread I suppose. 😉

This probably belongs in the Meri thread but she’s listed as a trainer on her website. I would say due to her celebrity she’d be in the ‘high’ bonus earnings bracket of around $230k annually. That’s not including her retail sales which would again likely be good due to being a known personality with fans who’ll lap up her crap. She’ll be cleaning up in this pyramid scheme, no doubt about it. Robyn would be furiously jealous she didn’t jump on board first.

How’s the tooth whitening on that filter she’s used? Wowsers! show your mum Mariah, she could really use this😉

My thoughts too. Plus they’re Teevee stars who’ve advertised on public social media the outside of their house a few times, exactly what’s in their house in the way of multiple huge tvs, a good camera (that they have no idea how to use), laptops, video games and collectors things that may be of worth to someone. An intruder now also knows where to grab a threatening attack tool (or ten) onsite. Those two are so full of tacos, you just know they don’t run. If there’s a violent home invasion using their own weaponry, they’re ain’t coming out on top. Luckily no one is going to be able to steal Mykelti’s ring, that sucker is firmly stuck there on her finger for life, it would need to be chopped off. Thank god a crazed intruder doesn’t have easy access to a samurai sword or two...oh... Stay in school kids.

There was a reply comment to a fan on one of his or her posts once, about how they spent way too much money on nerdy memorabilia but it was an investment thing, so that’s how they justified it. I’ve spent an embarrassingly long amount of time trawling through their Instagrams and looking for the comment; my IQ has gone down at least 10% from it, so I’ve admitted defeat and given up.

I’m about to get petty again here, but that stomach looks pudgy and dimpled like mine and I’m early thirties, mainly a sofa sloth and have been through three pregnancies. (Actually I’m going to say mine looks better and it certainly did it at her age when I worked out often). She’s 23 with no kids and a yoga/wellness devotee who apparently works out regularly and eats veggies - She really ought to be in prime physical condition, especially if she’s going to preach to others about the benefits of it. Sorry I just can’t take her seriously she’s Janelle 2.0, all talk, no results. Also Mariah, Mykelti called while you were posing. She wants her wall back.

‘What I do know is that we have within us an innate ability to determine what we need and what will fuel ourselves best’ Exactly Mariah, so you’ve said it yourself here. Your services are not required. Your job is null and void here. Go away and get a 9-5 like everyone else. ‘My intent here is to empower you to find the intuition within yourself to live your own best life...’ Yes, thank you so much for all the sweaty selfies and the 23-year-old-know-it-all, woke motivational speeches! It is really helping my live my best life and I can totally see why it helps others. Not 🙄 Her narcissism is next level honestly. If you were really authentic and honest Mariah - ‘my intent here is to build my following of gullible saps that worship and trust me, so I can shill crap to them here and on my blog, and companies will pay me for it, so then I don’t have to get a real job using my degree like everyone else. I’m way too special for that’ ‘Additionally on the flip side of that, my intention will always be to share things from a place of love and empowerment’ Will it? Like the time you publicly ripped apart an actual celebrity who was supporting your cause and actually putting her money and time where her mouth was? So loving and empowered, got it.

Minus the stupid toddler pose and superhero costume look of the dress, this is the nicest I’ve seen her look in a while. Blue is a really good color for her and her hair looks nice a bit lighter and less severe. If only she could now find a backdrop that isn’t the same ugly brick wall.

Oh that Meri and her ‘edginess’ 😆 I remember how excited she was when she came out of the dressing room in that mucous themed monstrosity, and was like ‘Oh I love it and best of all it’s only $50!’ I was literally scratching my head, sneering at my TV, thinking ‘the shop should be paying you $50 to take that off their shelves, it is that freakin’ heinous, you’re doing them a favor.’ And then to combine the worst dress in history with the most uncoordinated and unflattering shrug and sash. Who would buy clothes from this woman and trust her style judgment?! Christine’s dress was also damn hideous, but at least hers fit her somewhat and didn’t leave her looking like a 8 month pregnant ball of snot...

If her idea of being an activist and fighting for a cause is to just take a mugshot in a T-shirt and ask people to buy it on Instagram, it’s not exactly strenuous or difficult for her to do. It actually helps her public persona for her to be seen to be charitable, so there’s lots in it for her. This is the first we’ve heard about her support for the cause and I wonder how deep her passion for it runs or whether it’s just another self serving ‘look at me being a surface level social justice warrior on Instagram post’ only to be forgotten tomorrow. I wonder if she’s called her reps or wrote letters and urged congress to close the camps, organised home grown fundraising or campaigns, volunteered her time as needed or even donated more than just whatever the amount is given from sale of the T-shirt to the cause, after all her so called research? Anyone can buy a T-shirt and post to their followers to do the same and many do. While I acknowledge that’s still something, it’s still the bare minimum of effort in terms of truly helping at the border and she’s not deserving of accolades for that. Many ordinary people post the same everyday too and don’t call themselves ‘social justice warriors’. Side note: Same price, which would you rather?

Christine’s really looking like her mother Annie now she’s lost weight, I never thought she resembled her but it’s quite uncanny in this pic.

Just let those blonde roots grow already, she’d look closer to her actual age with her natural colour. The only colour she should alter is the deathly white corpse body. Surely Meri has some fake tan or bronzer she could borrow? (I’m sure old Mare must have a whole room in her 5 bed house solely devoted to tanning products, the way she slaps it on with a garden trowel everyday, she’d need to buy in bulk). And the eyebrows... they are either drawn on to excess with a felt tip pen or completely non-existent. Sheesh, is there some kind of happy medium here? I badly want to do a decent shape and subtle tint for her. Mariah call me, let’s collab!

Read the caption guys. It’s official, 🚨 sound the alarms 🚨 the Browns have infiltrated the forum, battle-stations! We’re being trolled! 😆 I like how she just ripped off Mariah’s ‘love my body’ speech but put her very eloquent Mykelti spin on it - ‘I love my body and what it does whenever it does stuff’ Wow! profound and groundbreaking stuff there Myke!

I agree, much of it is just unfortunate Meri facial genetics - the ‘bum’ chin, the downturned ‘sad’ mouth, the weathered, pigmented complexion, the deep nasolabial fold lines and jowls from carrying a bit of weight in the face... it just all contributes to that ‘face like a dropped pie’ look and will only worsen with age. I actually do hate to rag on her facially, but it’s very true she appears at least a decade older. While I appreciate her face has an appropriate expression for the tone of her post here, unfortunately combined with the stringy unwashed hair, the end result looks just like a mugshot of a meth addict.

100% . If you google search her name, (which you just know a self-lover like her would) this site comes up fairly promptly. Our opinions are non brown-nosing (pardon the pun) real talk, not the sycophant, ‘you’re just so awesome’ fan drivel she gets daily. Since she blocks any negative on social media, maybe she pops over here when she’s feeling mentally up for a reality check and a more balanced view of how she comes across and then tries to prove us all wrong. I like to think we provide a nice service. 😉 (Hi Mariah! Keep up the charitable stuff, try and post less narcissisties and ‘buy this product’ bull crap and stay in school now ok? 👋🏼)

‘Hydrating then yoga’ Ugh pretentious twat talk. Let’s get real. You aren’t ‘hydrating’, Mariah, you’re pretending to drink water out of a old used jam jar, while Audge photographs half your body in a way you think is artistic and mysterious, but really just makes you look like your trying to pluck out a chin hair with your bare fingers.

That curtsy toddler pose is the worst pose I’ve seen yet from her and that’s saying something! This IS the woman that brought us visual delights such as these here (please all enjoy again a handpicked selection of my favourites) - Seriously though, she must take her modelling tips from sewing or knitting pattern covers from the 70 & 80’s or children’s clothing catalogues. It’s hysterical that she’s so unaware it’s so bad...

So yeah Kanye has no idea that she even exists, (but let’s just humour her for a minute) and pretend he called her up, I imagine it going like the Taylor interruption Grammy speech ‘Yo sludge & pudge, I’m happy for y’all and ima let you keep on being queer, but my sneakers are the whitest and best of all time. Of ALL Time.’ Also If I were in charge of marketing for those companies, I’d actually call her up to offer her a deal to NOT publicly associate their name with hers. Like ‘here’s $2000, please never ever photograph our stuff on you again, thanks bye!’ (I’m a well snarky COL today sorry!)

They are all well established big brands that definitely don’t need her help anyway. They run big campaigns with proper fit celebrity influencers and models not z list pudgy wannabes. Dream on Mariah.