RealReality

Sometimes I feel bad for picking on Tara. But, its like she is baiting me when she writes a book on female empowerment. After all the years of playing "Hip Hop Sister Wives" with Amina, after he married and made babies with another woman and made you the side piece, and you are still looking like you are going to take him back. How the hell did she empower herself?

Its always that way. You inoculate yourself from whatever you say if you just disclaim its not something before you say it. Famous examples "I'm not a racist, but..." "Not to be an asshole, but..." "Not to be sexist, but...."

I don't know, if Kenya is this shit stirrer and provocateur with a desperate need for camera time who doesn't like Porsha I think it would be natural to assume she would bring it up at some point. Or at least to give your friend the heads up that she might bring it up so she isn't caught off guard.

Now here is my thing. Phaedra tells Kenya this. Now lets just assume, for the sake of argument, that Kenya isn't really interested in Porsha's anger management. Phaedra would still know full well that Kenya is going to bring it up at some point, because, for her that information is just too good to NOT file away and save for a slow news day. So why not give Porsha the heads up that she told her business, or that Kenya may bring it up? Or just something....anything, so that she wasn't completely caught off guard when she got there? I don't know why Porsha isn't asking those questions.

I think everyone should own their own behavior. Kenya was wrong to follow her out of that restaurant and down the street. If Kenyas behavior is provocative, I think she should be responsible for that, and if the question was "why doesn't Kenya have any friends?" than the answer would be that its her personality and she has to take ownership of that. At the same time, if people are pushed the point of violence, they have to answer for why they don't disengage before the situation crosses the line into violence. But for me, I can't equate words with violence. To me, there is a clear, hard line. If Kenya had carried on at the reunion, and Porsha had walked off stage, refused to come out of her dressing room until Kenya was cleared of all props/left the stage, borrowed a megaphone, made up something out of the clear blue sky, called Kenya every name in the book and told her she was a terrible human being who deserved to be abandoned by her mother I wouldn't have had any issue. If Kenya wants to go into a word war, than it is what it is, and its fine to pull the verbal gloves off. None of these things would have crossed that hard line, and I would say that Kenya had no right to complain. Both ladies would have had equal part, because its an equal battle field. Words for words. But violence for words is different. For me at least. So, I can't really assign Kenya part of the blame for a reaction that was over the line, to me. Her verbal altercations with other cast mates, I could reasonably think "well Kenya said x, and Phaedra said y. I may not agree with Phaedra, but its an even playing field." I think Porsha could have said her peace, faked a phone call and gotten the hell out of there. Porsha's history of violence in high stress situations is a real issue that could impact them on their trip. Whether that was their intent or not, she should acknowledge that its reasonable to ask questions about whether she can handle a high stress situation, and if she is taking steps to address that. And then just leave. For me, and certainly mileage will vary....but for me, I don't think abuse counts any less because the woman is "difficult" or "provocative." These relationships are often toxic and codependent, with difficult personalities on both sides. Unlikable, provocative people can be abused too. Or at least thats how I see it. And in Porsha's defense, maybe it all came up so quick and she wasn't able to think on her feet. Which may be a good reason for her to separate herself from the show. I'm not a Porsha fan, but she has a good thing going right now. She has Dish Network, she is on Celebrity Apprentice, she is young and glamorous. She has the right look, and is in the right place at the right time. I think she could EASILY get a network talk show, something like "The Real" or whatever else. But one wrong move and those opportunities could disappear in a minute. And she doesn't handle these stressful situations well, and Bravo AtlHW vacations are almost always a dramatic mess. Either way -- this is all just food for thought. These women are going to live their fabulous lives with their 20 inch Burmese virgin hair, designer hand bags and luxury cars no matter what I do or think :)

Oh, I forgot about that. But I feel like nobility always sort of did the fee tail thing. It was pretty recently abolished in the US.

None of those people should be concerned about Porsha, they should be concerned about themselves. I take that back, the one person who should have been concerned about her, Phaedra, pretty much set her up by telling Kenya about her anger management without letting Porsha know it came up. And then didn't say much of anything when the shit hit the fan. Porsha got up when Kandi made her comment. Maybe that coincided with her really getting angry, but she seemed perfectly fine getting into it with Kenya. And she didn't have any back up like she did at the reunion. I don't even see how anger management is that personal an issue since it was filmed for the show. I don't even know why that would be humiliating. A simple statement to the effect of "yes I'm in anger management, I'm making a lot of progress. I think I'd be fine on the trip, but if it will make you feel more comfortable, I don't have to go on the trip. I'll let you all decide and tell Phaedra. Oh, I'm getting an important call, gotta run, it was nice catching up" It seems like she is more humiliated by anger management than by her incidents of violence.

I dont even think "new john" is really a thing. I think "new john" is just a few coates of paint over "old john." I think he feels like this should be his reputation redemption, so he is trying really hard to look different. But deep down he is still that guy that has another chef do all his work, wants all the glory of being EC even when it is a terrible idea that will screw over the team, and blames the wait staff for a funky system.

I think there is a hard line at physical violence and words. Its a hard line that I draw, its a hard line that society generally draws. Should anyone follow anyone out of a restaurant? No. But is that on the same level as physical assault? No. And for me, its not really a close call. I don't think Porsha has shown any self awareness if she continues to deny she is at fault for physically attacking Kenya. No matter how "provoked" she felt by Kenya's words. Almost the first words out of Porsha's mouth are the same ones I heard years ago "you apologized, not me." as if by merely not apologizing she was somehow in the right. I mean, she won't take a scintilla of accountability for her own violent behavior, so how much has she really grown? She got up and left when Kandi told her to "piggyback her ass" up out of there, and when she saw that half the table was curious about her anger management. She may feel empowered when she has the support of others the way she did at the reunion. Her friend Phaedra wasn't saying much of anything to support her. Neither was her friend Sheree.

It is. I heard she is the second highest paid HW on the show. I'm sure a lot of other women would love to be paid for pot stirring and shade throwing.

I agree. Most of us can be pushed to violence, but I would hope that many of us...over time...learn the wisdom of walking away before we get to the point of having to hit. And that's where a woman in her 30s should be...imo. As for Kenya, yeah, she had me right up until she insisted on following porsha down the street. And i agree, it was likely for camera time, and I guess that's her job, but it wasn't a good look for her.

It sounds similar to old school fee tails. I wonder if that's why she wants to continue working.

I don't think so. People who can use their words generally don't hang around those who can't. Different social circles, i suppose. Porsha has to be around people who are her....contemporaries. There are quite a few people that don't want someone around who has the potential to be violent. And its likely to be people with the same outlook on life that are cool with that. So porsha would hang out around people who don't have those "boundaries" when they feel provoked. And that is more likely to lead to her running into someone who doesn't have any boundaries and is okay getting physical too. Which increases the chances that someone either seriously hurts her. Or she seriously hurts someone else.

Provocation is a way to reduce murder to voluntary manslaughter. And as far as I know that's about it. And adequate provocation is pretty extreme like finding your wife in bed with another man. Not being insulted on a reality tv show. But the law recognizes that even when a person is so extremely provoked their violence is still a felony punishable under the law.

I've seen Kenya come at people in a far shadier and direct way. Like the way she directly asked about kandi once dating that basketball player that another "friend of" was dating. No subterfuge, just to the point. This time she was pretty subdued. She even said that they had resolved the issues. At which time porsha launched into "you apolilogized to me!" Because again, on porshas mind she didn't do anything wrong. And when she is violent there is always someone else to blame. The easiest thing porsha could have..should have done was to be honest. Yes, she is in anger management and is making progress. She doesn't think it would be a problem on the trip, but if it's a concern she need not go. It's as simple as that. Situation diffused and she will leave it up to the girls. Now I got a call and I gotta run, nice catching up, bye. Bada Bing, bada boom. But steadily insisting she did nothing wrong shows me that she doesn't think she has an issue and she is going through the motions. I don't know that kenya waited a long time. This was the first time that they were altogether in a dinner style setting. And the first time they would all be planning an overnight trip. Kenya doesn't give a shit about porsha. Nor should she. Kenya cares about not getting in some physical altercation where she cant defend herself. These trips are stressful, or they would be for me with all the in fighting. If porshas response to stress is to be violent and claim she isn't at fault I might have a few questions before I agreed to go.

Yeah, the porsha/Todd relationship is odd. He went from good looking sweet guy to kinda weird real quick. I think he was just taking some time off so he pokes her in the middle of the night and wants to spend time with her. Maybe I've watched too many episodes house of cards, but when I think of dc lobbyist I think of rich men in suits. And i think most lobbyists are career driven and make good money. So would a lobbyist really give up his career for....a girl he just started dating? I'm not sure another firm would take him very seriously if he is all over instagram with a reality star. It seems like a very discreet world. Yeah, I was with kenya right up until she followed her out. That's when she lost me.

I guess its a matter of perspective. I see 1. Kenya getting physically attacked in response to words 2. Porsha looming over Cynthia with hands in her face about 3 seconds from making contact until Cynthia kicked out to get her off of her. I dont know how other apologies go, but generally mine dont end with my hands 2 inches from someones face and then feeling threatened enough to kick out 3. Other fights off screen So, yeah, that is a history of violence in response to stress. And even more important is that porsha doesn't seem willing to accept that she has done anything wrong. Which means she will be done violently attacking someone again.

She didn't merely yank it out of her hand. She physically attacked her at the reunion. And that is after the scepter was out of her hands. Also, from what I saw porsha was looming over Cynthia while she was sitting down and putting her hands out like she was ready to hit her. And may have if Cynthia didn't defend herself by kicking out. Porshas propensity for violence is more than a flaw. Over and over porsha gets in violent conflicts. And its unsettling for someone over the age of 20. She is now well into her 30s, and shows no sign of understanding that she can't get violent with people. Because, her violence is never her fault. She is always "provoked" to it so it's not her fault. I think that's dangerous. And this isn't just with kenya. She has gotten in multiple physical alterations. I'm not so sold on adults who honestly think violence is an acceptable response to verbal confrontation. If she can't deal with being caught off guard in high stress situations, reality TV may not be the right place for her.

Thats a pretty big risk. I think its better to get there later, so you don't have to face so many competitors. I mean, for LCK you have to win. For TC, you simply have to not lose. But, there may be some merit to your argument since he seemed to do much, much better at QF than he did in regular competition.

I think Kenya has taken on blame for her relationship with Matt. She has said that she wasn't nice to him at first, and that she got upset with him. However, I don't think she bares the blame for him being violent. I don't think she bares the blame for anyone being violent. I mean, think of all the real provocation people have endured over the years, and these people maintained their composure. If those people, everyday people, can be nonviolent in the face of far worse than anything Porsha has had to deal with....than its not unreasonable to expect her to not be violent in the face of words/pointing. I don't think she is "perfectly comfortable" with Matt since she cancelled his ticket to an event and didn't even want to talk to him unless a camera crew was around. But I also think its a mistake to compare Kenya v. Porsha to Kenya v. Matt since abusive relationships are more complex and have more layers. These shows strive on putting these women in high stress situations, especially with each other. They are encouraged to fight, bicker, and "provoke" each other. The only one who has responded to that provocation with a violent attack is Porsha. I wouldn't want to go on a vacation with someone I had to walk on eggshells around, especially if I'm being paid to not do that. Or that if a stressful situation came up, that person may become violent.

Emotional abuse because she asked her if she was in anger management? Or if she was on medication? or didn't bow down when Porsha started going off? I don't know about that, I think emotional abuse requires some relationship that Kenya and Porsha do not have. I think maybe running after her is an asshole move, but I wouldn't call it abusive or bullying. Porsha can set her car on fire and probably wouldn't mind, we have seen that Porsha has no problem breaking the law but has a hard time using her words so property damage may be her best bet to avoid jail time. As I said, objectively, Porsha has a bright future. She has been on Dish Nation, she is on CA, she is young and glamorous. As much as I don't like Porsha, I can admit she is good on Dish Nation. She may want to distance herself from RHOA since it IS a show with high pressure situations and she has a violent temper.

I think ideally Porsha would have been the one to start the conversation. However, if they are talking about the possibility of doing a glamping trip, and Kenya's concerns about Porshas potential anger might impact her decision to go or not go then I could see why she would want to make it a point to discuss it, even if she brought it up. I agree that chasing after Porsha was not a good look by any stretch of the imagination. Especially when multiple people have told you not to do it. I think they all need to remember who everyone is. Phaedra has spilled Kandi's beans. Kandi has spilled Phaedra's beans. Phaedra spilled Porsha's beans. Porsha probably left her beans at home. Truly, the person who breached Porsha's confidence was Phaedra. And then she added in the stuff about Porsha wanting to talk about her anger management. THAT should concern Porsha. She doesn't have a trusting relationship with Kenya, but she does with Phaedra, and apparently Phaedra not only told her business, but also made it seem like she wanted to talk about it with everyone.

Assuming thats true, if the opportunity never came up at the Escape Room, that wouldn't particularly mean that she should assume Phaedra lied. Talking about it at the event would make zero sense since they would be split up in two groups and everyone left after the activity. Were I in the same position, I would simply think that the situation wasn't right, but a dinner put together by Phaedra, with all of them there, would be the right time to talk about it. I don't think they had anything where they were all together with the exception of the pop up shop. I think when they were discussing the pop-up shop, Cynthia wasn't there.

Because Kenya was explicitly told that Porsha wanted to talk about it. The Escape Room was an activity, which wouldn't seem like the right place to have such a conversation. While you're trying to figure out what clues you need to get out of there or whatever. It seems like everyone left afterwards with the exception of Sheree and Kenya so there wasn't really a chance for them all to sit down and talk. No matter why it was brought up, the fact remains that Phaedra added in that Porsha wanted to tell everyone about it. Without really needing to do so. She needed only to say that Porsha was in anger management and that it wouldn't be a problem. And frankly, I think that would have been saying too much. But she made sure to tell Kenya that Porsha wanted to tell all the girls about it, and so I could see where it sounds legit. Given Porsha's behavior, I don't think she is in anger management either. They can give you medication for mood swings. If Kenya has any concerns about Porsha being on the trip, I don't think it has anything to do with Phaedra. As far as I know, for purposes of the show, Kenya is still in good with Cynthia, and Kandi (by default). Porsha has a history of violence, and even worse...unrepentant violence. She never thinks she is wrong for her behavior, and I'm sure every single incident of Porsha's violent behavior was "provoked" by someone else, and she was never, ever at fault. I'm not sure I would want to be around someone like that in a high stress situation....which is exactly what these "vacations" turn into.

If that was the way she wanted it I don't think she would have come at her that subdued. In fact, I thought she first said that she and Porsha had resolved their differences, to which Porsha, as usual, stuck to her "I didn't do anything wrong" routine. As far as she knew Porsha wanted to talk about it, because that is what she was told. So, I could see where Kenya had no idea it would set Porsha off. I think that Kenya knows she isn't about to get involved in some physical fight, so if Porsha comes for her she is going to have to take another physical assault. I don't know if she is afraid of it, but I think it would be more than reasonable if she was wary of it. If you're not in a position to fight back against a violent person, it would be reasonable to be concerned. I think if Kenya was down to fight, it might be another story, but I don't think she would go there. It might stick in Kenyas craw that Porsha got her job back, I know it would stick in mine if someone physically assaulted me and they didn't really suffer any consequences besides losing their job for a few seasons. And frankly, it does Porsha no favors, because, as Kandi said, Porsha doesn't think she has a problem, and I think she has a bunch of enablers telling her that when she attacks someone its their fault and not hers. And she will run into the wrong person one day, and end up really hurting someone, or she will get involved in a physical fight with someone who is bigger and nastier than her will really hurt her. As for Sheree, I don't know, she seems more like an information runner than anything else. I'm not sure she really wields that much power right now. And her storylines aren't particularly interesting. Pot stirring on both sides, romance with Bob, and Cairo's modelling career all feel a little desperate. The book is coming out, so maybe she will be a big time author and have a little more leverage.