SnideAsides

Do you remember the year the Met Gala went viral because they picked "camp" as its theme and the rest of the world mocked America for not knowing what it meant? This is that, but for music instead of fashion. Like there was attempted camp, sure, but this was basically Eurovision as interpreted by people who think the filler performances during award shows are the height of camp culture. And I know it's unfair to compare something that's in its first year to something that's been around since the Soviet invasion of Hungary, but... you know, you want to trade on the brand and you hire people who've produced the OG version, you get the comparison whether you like it or not, show. And since I'm comparing them, I don't think many of these songs would have made it through a Eurovision semi final. Rhode Island sure, it's the sort of song that always finishes like fourteenth because juries love it but phone voters don't care for it. Wisconsin absolutely, and probably Oklahoma and Iowa on the strength of K-pop and punk rock voters alone (certainly not on song quality in either case), but that's about it. Maybe Puerto Rico in a weak semi, but it's the sort of thing that typically only just squeaks through and then flops in the final. The rest? Not a chance, and I'd struggle to imagine a situation in which that awful Wyoming song would've even gotten a single point. In conclusion, Minnesota's act is the non-union American knockoff of Lake Malawi, and one is enough.

The noodles are different - South Korean noodles are generally made with wheat flour, but North Korean noodles are made from ground corn. Plus North Korean food is slightly sweeter because they use fresh mountain water rather than tap water.

I mean, the very obvious solution to this whole mess is to not cast someone who's so clearly going to be given such a rapturously negative reaction by well over half the population? Like, Ken and Robin's reactions are entirely valid, but wouldn't need to have happened if the person in question was never cast. My concern isn't why Ken and Robin walked off, it's why Jenny and Nicole and Nick apparently didn't. The show can't even claim ignorance on this, because, like, look how much they were criticised for having Palin a few seasons back. Also Tom Bergeron tweeted during the week that it's the same talent booker DWTS uses, so not only is it this person and Palin, it's also Spicer on DWTS, and per that talent booker's IMDb they also do Celebrity Big Brother, so she's also responsible for Omarosa and Scaramucci on that show. This kind of controversy comes up every fucking time, from this one booker in particular, and it's about fucking time we got the same kind of reaction from someone on screen that we get from the public.

The rewards have been terrible for years, even before Covid (hell, even before they were defaulting to Fiji every season). They've been doing things like "we can't be bothered finding somewhere cool to go, how about we just deliver pizza/ice cream/etc to camp for you?" since at least Caramoan, and you can pretty much set your clock to the first three rewards of any given season nowadays being a fire kit, fishing gear, and the tarp/blanket/chair package in that order. And the specific example cited in the episode was a letter from home, which they could have done without any effect on the show's Covid protocols (except maybe printing off emails instead of having actual mail repackaged in those cheesy fake envelopes they use). Like I haaaate that the loved one episode has devolved into a twenty-minute backdoor pilot for a reboot of Probst's failed talk show, forcing the show to do a half-assed non-challenge that's even more of a half-assed non-challenge than all the other half-assed non-challenges they trot out every other week now, but a "letter from home" reward would have hit the same spot without any of the negatives. Hell, if it wasn't visual enough for them they could have had a fucking Zoom sponsorship. Grilled chicken and broccoli simply doesn't cut it. Also there were plenty of places that would have willingly given them somewhere suitable to film a season safely far sooner than Fiji did. They totally could have avoided skipping a year if they were willing to even consider the notion of, say, going back to Thailand (which was actively courting tourism and would have absolutely bankrolled production as a soft diplomacy measure like Fiji does) for two seasons, or using the "dawn of a new era" to return to Malaysian Borneo, or to finally give us that Jordan season that had to get cancelled two decades ago because of 9/11. The fact that they refused to even consider doing anything like that, instead wearing on the Fijian government until they let them back in (and, very possibly, bringing the coronavirus with them - there's a spike in cases that lines up PERFECTLY with when 42's cast would have been in quarantine) isn't a sign of the strength of Fiji's excellent Covid management, it's a sign of Jeff Probst's incompetence and laziness.

About time someone criticised how boring the rewards have gotten on the show.

The problem is they did "only the clothes on your backs" for the first time in Pearl Islands, which turned out to be popular, then did it again the next two times in Palau and China, which both turned out to be very popular seasons. Then when they started giving them colour-coded wardrobes so you could tell the tribes apart (that's what the buffs are for, producers) it evolved into "this outfit is all you get" and now we're stuck here.

Christ, ANOTHER extended preview? Here goes with the spoilers:

Even with the amazing cast, this season kind of isn't grabbing me because it's falling into the same traps as the civilian season now, where instead of being creative with the challenges and keeping them on their toes naturally it's just "how will a new batch of contestants handle yet another version of this Masterchef challenge that people liked that one time? And how about THIS challenge? But what about THIS bullshit twist?" Especially given part of the fun of this season in particular is that they AREN'T looking for someone who wants to work in the industry, they really should be getting quirkier with the challenges instead of sticking to restaurant-style challenges and the usual gimmicks. This is the perfect season for a Lockdown Baking™-inspired bread challenge, for example, and based on the three weeks so far I don't hold enough faith in the current producers for them to even have that small level of creativity.

Well, that was disappointing. No real way to win with that bottom two.

Just a heads up: That extended preview at the start of the first episode spoils at least the first elimination, and probably the second and third as well. If anyone is wondering more specifically (direct spoiler for Sunday and indirect spoilers for the next couple of weeks):

Planet of Giants, part one in 1964 and The Zygon Invasion in 2015.

I usually really hate the "you on a plate" challenge because everyone tries too hard and I wind up thinking they're wankers, but this group doing it was... kind of fun? Also Chrissie is a national treasure and I will not hear otherwise.

My biggest disappointment was how they went out of their way to highlight how the international versions of the show have been running since 1973, and then literally all of the international clips were HD shots from the last decade or so. I don't know that we needed so many clips of a one-off UK special that wasn't even technically The Price is Right, or of the shortlived 2012 Australian revival (a catastrophic failure chiefly remembered for how they plugged the Walmart-knockoff sponsor store over 20 times in its 30-minute premiere episode and how they replaced the previous version's $600k+ showcases with $4k of crap and a Nissan Micra) when there were so many other, better versions available. Sorry, I guess I still have a little bit of TV-induced trauma about it.

Better yet, "why is"? "Why is garlic bread?" "Why is Donkey Kong Country?" "Why is Belgium?"

Meanwhile, in Australia: I have no clue how they could afford (apparently) Anastacia, especially considering they've already had Macy Fucking Gray this season as well: Also just for camp goodness, here is a toilet doll singing It's Raining Men:

Starts Sunday night in the usual timeslot.

Wow, Australia's first reveal. Also, Vampire sang way better than I expected from the "would have gotten mocked by Ve Neill on Face Off" costume.

I suspect the solution is going to be a LOT of self-driving legs, remote locations, and rapid testing for task employees where interaction with locals is necessary (eg, boat drivers in island legs). I don't think Asia is necessarily off the table, just that most of the "usual suspect" countries are. It's true that places like China and Japan and Vietnam are out, but Turkey and Jordan and Georgia and the Maldives and Uzbekistan are all basically open as long as you present negative tests upon arrival (and they'll probably do testing at every Pit Stop for exactly this reason no matter what countries they pick), Thailand's islands (including Phuket) are open as long as you avoid the mainland, Sri Lanka's quarantine is only for a couple of nights if you're fully vaxxed, Singapore and South Korea both offer quarantine exemptions for business travellers (ie, TV cast and crew) who can present negative tests... Asia is definitely doable. I don't think a route with something like [the three legs that are already filmed] - restarting in Africa - eastern Europe - Turkey - Maldives - Phuket - Korea - US is out of the question. It's just going to depend on whether they're deadset on going to a certain country or if they feel confident they can do something good with what's available. Having several new countries this season might not be what they wanted, but it certainly looks like it's going to be the best way to get the season filmed and it could absolutely be used to the show's benefit in promotions and so forth. (In particular, Jordan is perfect for TAR right now - it's safe and cheap and America-friendly, it's got more major global landmarks than basically any other country TAR has never been to (The Dead Sea! Wadi Rum! PETRA!), it's got a strong culture that could sustain multiple legs of TAR tasks if needed, and if nothing else the irony of it saving TAR after Survivor was saved by not going there as planned after 9/11 would be brilliant.) Also, as an Australian, Netfoot's assertion is completely false (though I don't think I can argue why without going off-topic). Australia won't be part of the route, but it's not because of any of that.

Today's 20 years since the first episode aired. Admittedly, I've been a critic of things the show's done over the years - the Japanese game shows, the fact that Africa had been demoted almost entirely to slums, safaris, and schools until they finally did a "modern city" leg in the continent in season thirty, the casting of basically every returnee season - but I've never once doubted the show's heart is in the right place and they're trying to do the right thing, which is more than I can say for pretty much any other show on television anywhere in the world.

Masked Singer Australia is back September 13. Costumes include Baby, Kebab, Pinata, and Toilet Brush.

WIDM did a livestream challenge over the weekend, basically just the Sri Lanka election challenge with a larger cash prize and with exemptions involved somehow. Eleven players for the first time since 2002, but even more notable is the diversity. The usual Caribbean person (two this time! One from Curacao and one with Surinamese heritage!), a Latina woman, an old white dude born in the Belgian Congo (now the DRC), an Afghan refugee, and a son of Palestinian refugees. And then the white people are the niche celebrities (opera singer! Magazine editor! Voice of Smurfette!) instead of the big names. Amazing.

I never knew I needed a ska cover of Ode to Joy until tonight.

As usual, the medal match not featuring the United States was the more interesting one. Every Olympics, without fail.

I think the thing with bouldering is just that the scoring is broken. If it was setup as an elimination style event where, like, you get one shot at a time each and they keep going on with each section until a certain number of people reach the top, then it would work better. It's definitely the weak link of the three types of climbing though; speed is nuts and almost all of the issues with lead are due to the camerawork making it hard to tell which way is up.

Oh shit. Paris has to do a "come visit us in 2024!" bit in the Closing Ceremony, doesn't it? CANCAN RIVERDANCE OR BUST.