Totale

Or CBS. Same difference.

Puck's dodged the bullet so far, if I were him I'd have trouble showing my face around Antonia, especially if I had to judge her against Isabella.

My cats have an innate fear of slobbering stank beasts and run wherever Isabella laughs.

I knew there was someone who rubbed me the wrong way even harder than Blais, but I'd driven it from my mind.

I haven't read the book and have no idea, but I thought the characters and the whole deal with the Rent-a-trailer looked pretty shady and I don't think it's full of dolls - I think it's full of skeletons. They had clothes made up to match those in the family photos and are about to stage a tableau Day-Of-The-Dead style. When Dogkiller ran out saying "I tried" I thought he was talking to Patti. He tried to get Kevin to kill her, but couldn't. I think he's the "higher-up" in the GR Kevin was asking about. He was around for Gladys, too, you'll recall.

Madres was heart warming and made everybody tear up and their food sounded great. They also got $500 extra and brought their whole extended family along (so they must have been nearly as home town as the beach bunnies) and came in third. What's up with that? I hope I heard right that somebody (Texas?) said their dish was $5. That's how it should be done, and if it was Texas that's how they ended up in first place with no extra in the till. The lobster guys can snerk about how they needed more steak in their quesadilla, but I'll bet that you can't walk away from their truck without spending $25 or more. For that much dough I'll sit down, thanks. A good lobster roll here costs $15-20 and we don't have to fly the lobsters across the country. Drop one of their trucks and the Texas truck somewhere where money is tighter and I know who I'd bet on to win. We buy our hummus at Costco in big tubs. Adapt, kids.

Speculation: Tyler will wake up hung over and forget to shave before taping.

I think the point of this show is this show. I think the only way TPTB are interested in an actual cooking show that will be sustaining is if the principals produce it themselves and present it as a licensed package, like Ree or that smug chick from the Midwest whose name I always forget. Hide under the vagina table. They'd never look there.

For some reason I looked back at my first post for this season, where I innocently said it was very likely that FN had already signed the contracts and done the background checks on the winner. Well, I was half right, maybe....

I didn't and wouldn't see "Married to the Job", but I hope they have a fly on the wall in the lawyer's office as they hammer out the prenups. Now that's drama.

That's what I thought at first, that they would have this knockout deal every two weeks with the losers of the last two weeks with a KOfinal at the end. But then Pug said Brooke would be back next week, so I don't see where they were "guaranteed" anything. Brooke could conceivably run the table in Knockout if it's going to be a continuing deal, so then where does the Knockout final come into it? Either I'm not smart enough for TV, or this setup is just as the thread title says and the scripting was way off.

Beyond the general obnoxiousness of aftershow shows where it's harder to skip commercials, this was confusing as hell. Both contestants and the Pug were talking about how winning this would guarantee them "a spot in the finals". Then it sounded like the winner was guaranteed not a spot in the TCD finals, but the TCDKnockout finals. Then at the end Pug was saying congrats to Brooke and now you have to compete again next week. What "finals" are next week?

I agree, but in one of the final rounds last week (the burger I think) wasn't the decision unanimous? With three votes it's either unanimous or 2-1, I guess they could always go left to right or something but at least it's not drawn out over a commercial break like a Ramsey show.

Masterchef had their Luca, too, he was named Luca. Good looking guy but no Conan build, born in Italy, beautiful wife, family recipes.

Or worse. The great Food Truck Race should be starting soon......

I thought that might be it until Julia's "Khaaaaaan!" scream. Now I think they're just fucking with us. They have to know. My question (which i'm not going to go back and rewatch the first season to try to nail down) is where along the line they realized making this into an elaborate parody of spooky TV was the way to go. From what I remember of the first couple of episodes they were playing it pretty straight.

Dome and Domer.

Maybe the likes of TMZ and The Smoking Gun think FN is so minor that not enough people will care to make it worth their time. "What's next, an HGTV scandal?"

I guess they were sure Cow Pah would go over better than Pah Style, and signed him up for the job before all the crap came out. I think they'll give him his two hours on air (6 shows * 20 minutes with commercials), scripted to the hilt, show them once and cut him loose. He won't be flying to any fancy restaurants and "cowboying up" their cuisine, he'll stand and stir and read his script like Aarti and other duds have done before, then he'll be gone. Too bad, I would have liked a steel cage match between him and Ree's husband, broadcast live from the ranch.

If you're of a certain age and temperament there's another reference. A couple weeks in I asked my wife if it was just me, or if she too couldn't see the name of the show without thinking of Viv Stanshall singing with the Bonzo Dog Band. She said she had thought the same thing, but had kept it, uh, bottled up. From the early 1970s...

It was a Thanksgiving Feast episode. I didn't see it until after she'd started her own show, but it was pretty clear it was all set up to introduce her to the network. If I remember correctly she challenged him to come to the ranch for a Thanksgiving throwdown.

Big reveal: "I let the box go through. I was paid to do it." Question from Captain Obvious and every sentient human on the planet: "Paid by who?" Why didn't Our Heroes even ask?

Put "coffee steak rub" into Google and see numerous examples, with at least three from other FN personalities on the first page. And some look considerably more interesting.

I'm enjoying the new season so far. Please nobody tell Kermit and Medusa somebody snuck some cooking onto the Food Network.

I'm late because I just DVRed all this and finally took the time to catch up. (Which doesn't take long, BTW. The show's pattern once they get into the "meat" of each episode is six minutes of show, then four minutes of commercials. Makes the hour fly by). But in this episode right near the beginning, Barbie is sitting with the Scooby-Doo gang and they ask where Junior is. Barbie says he and Junior were out all night looking for Lyle. What? When? Junior was with Lyle at the cabin, then with Uncle. Did the writers abandon the plotline Barbie referred to, and then forget to go back and edit out that line?