mamadrama

God, you all are going to think that I am so weird but...I earned extra income in college by being an artist's model. I LOVED my job. One of the artists that I worked for had showings all over the country. Nothing sold for less than $5,000 so it was all out of my price range. (Even my pretend price range.) When I finally quit after several years, he gave me a drawing that he had done of me. He used to do several different sketches for his creations, just things he'd use as references. He wound up finishing one as a present for me, and he signed it. It's basically me sitting in a chair in all my glory. (Because I am sitting, you actually can't see that much but it's obvious that I am wearing my birthday suit.) I framed it and it hangs on our bedroom wall. For a while it was at my mom's house. Not only did she have it in the living room, but she proudly hung a light under it to make it glow, ha ha. It was a conversation piece. On the other hand...I don't discuss my sexual history with my kids or in front of my kids. My husband and I don't put ourselves in the position (ha ha) that would allow the kids to see us being intimate. (Well, there was this one time we forgot to lock the door but they just thought he was , uh, tickling me. It happens.) Farrah has zero boundaries. Zero middle ground. Zero sense of what is appropriate. It's scary.

I mean, really, how does Michael know? Maybe that person DOES have all of those things. The ego and ignorance are real with this family.

Ha ha. I literally still have my flip phone from 2005. Of course, I don't have an active phone at all. In addition to cutting the cord on my cable 2 years ago, I gave up my cell phone. If I need to call someone, I use Skype on my laptop. That happens approximately once a week. If they need to get in touch with me, they email. People think I'm totally lying when they ask me for my number and I tell them that I don't have a phone.

Sometimes I miss renting. In the past year we've had to pay for a new water heater, a new heating/air system, and new floors for our living room. We actually went without air conditioning all summer (in 100+ degree heat) and without heating other than our woodstove and some space heaters all winter (in below zero weather) because we didn't have the $8,000 to install a new system and didn't qualify for a loan. I think that, in some situations, renting makes more sense. My mom is a homeowner, for instance, and she shouldn't be. She absolutely can't handle a house on her own. She NEEDS to be able to call people to take care of things. Having to find the plumbers, electricians, etc. herself is just too overwhelming for her. A landlord who will come in and fix crap, or call someone to do it, would just be more practical for her. (She is also 70, but she's been this way for a long time just because of the kind of person she is.) Left to her own devices, she'd just let the house fall in around her rather than pay someone to fix stuff. My husband basically takes care of things for her. We wish she had a landlord. If you're moving around a lot, too, and don't really want to be settled in one place then I can see renting. Generally, though, I agree with you. There is NO reason why Amber can't pay off the IRS, or at least enter into a solid payment agreement with them. For someone in her position, building up equity and owning their own property would be a fabulous idea. I am proud of Gary for what he's doing. The fact that she'd rather spend a ton of cash on the men in her life rather than settle that debt just continues to show what a piece of shit she is.

Farrah is more than just a bitch. Mentally healthy people just do not behave in this manner. We're all capable of being awful people every now and then, but if you videotaped the majority of us during our actions and then we watched said footage, we'd feel appalled. We'd probably try to make changes. Farrah is the opposite. With each new footage of her bitchtrosity it's like she gains more superpowers. And her parents, in their own ways, are worse. There are lots of things that I am on Farrah's side about. In many ways I am rooting for her. And I actually applaud her for filming segments that don't involve her sitting around on the couch or moaning about her life all day. Homegirl works and she is VERY hands on. But these histrionics that she's not only capable of but proud of? I just caaannn'ttt.

When I was in high school, I spent two summers singing at Dollywood. I was in a country music show one year and in a 1950's show in the other. Dolly would always comedown twice a summer and meet all of her employees. I met loads of other celebrities that summer through their headliner concert series. Some were total asshats and some were very nice people but Dolly was still the friendliest and most genuine.

You and me both, girlfriend. I'm a Pisces and also wishy washy to boot.

Honestly, I don't like the idea of striving to be "strong." I feel like we live in a culture in which we praise people who are "strong" but what that really means is that they keep their feelings and emotions to themselves. I see it with people who are going through cancer treatments and stuff and they never complain or cry in public. The folks around them are like, "Oh you're so strong!" But really, at home, they're probably freaking out and crying. They're human. We celebrate those who who keep their emotions hidden and apply "strong" as a moniker for those who don't make us uncomfortable with their very human reactions and feelings. "You have to be strong now" "She's so strong, you never hear her complain", etc. etc. Instead of me telling myself that I am "strong", I prefer to tell myself that I am human and that I am allowed to feel angry, hurt, scared, etc. Especially in grief, I feel that it's important to recognize those feelings and deal with them, rather to ignore them and push them aside. (Although I still believe in being kind, polite, and taking personal responsibility for things I may say or do in those situations.) Sorry, didn't mean to ramble. I just remember that in the worst of my grief I hated hearing that word. What it meant to my friends was that they didn't want to hear about how I was feeling or what I was going through. "Strong" from them was like a medal and I didn't want to have it revoked by letting them see me upset. I finally made a friend who was like, "Honey, I don't care what you do. You don't have to be 'strong.' You can scream and cry and do whatever you want around me." God, it was such a relief.

Those kinds of affirmations have never done a thing in the world for me. To me, they're just words. Cliched words at that-the kind you'd find written on those posters that you used to be able to buy at Hallmark. I guess it may work for some...

Ugh. I am so sorry. It is really frustrating.

Good luck! The problem I have now is that the doctors are saying that my insurance won't cover putting me to sleep. But there's no way that I can have all of my teeth pulled, or even the 6 that HAVE to be pulled now, without them knocking me out. I can't have Novocaine. It literally causes my soft tissue to disintegrate. I have different insurance than I had last year. At least my old stuff paid a little. One of my teeth is broken off completely at the gumline and there's nothing to grab ahold of at all. It's super frustrating but it's basically because my dental insurance sucks and doesn't pay for a damn thing, other than simple extractions and fillings. I am hoping that they can word this to make it sound like a medical problem and not a dental one.

I sometimes call my son "fartknocker" because, well, he's REALLY gassy and it sounds like someone's knocking at the door. But I don't do it every day. Or in public. Or in front of his friends. Or outside of the house. Or on camera. And I've only kept it up because he thinks it's hilarious and has taken some pride in it. The fact that Amber continues to do this even though it could follow Leah through school and cause public embarrassment just slays me. I'm starting to think that she just doesn't remember the kid's name.

Thanks. I've had time to process and it's no longer fresh for me, but it's still painful. I went back and watched Tyler's scenes again. I think he was genuinely distraught when Kerthy told him about Cate but I wonder if a small part of him broke down out of anger. This happens sometimes with caretakers and it's a perfectly normal human reaction. Tyler probably feels that he is doing everything to "move 'em on up" and create this Pinterest-perfect life but his family keeps falling apart. Pretty much everything falls on his shoulders. I don't blame Cate for falling apart, and I don't blame him for whatever mixed emotions he probably has. I have zero love for Tyler but I DO have some sympathy.

I gave people the link if they PMed me but I didn't really want to post it here. And yeah, the FDA sucks. The only reason that they're trying to ban it is because it works and the pharmaceutical companies realize that they're missing out on money. What will happen is that they'll ban it and then, in a year or two, Pfizer or one of the other ones will bring it out in pill form and make billions. Grrrr... I love our house. It's a bitch to clean, though. I mostly just shut off the bedrooms and extra rooms that we don't use until someone comes to stay with us, ha ha.

My son died in his sleep. it was a complete surprise, there were zero signs that anything was wrong. Time was the only thing that helped with grief. I couldn't imagine if my entire livelihood swirled around me having to relive that moment over and over and over again. IMO, Cate and Tyler haven't been able to properly process or move on from the Carly adoption because they literally have to relive it and their feelings about it to get paychecks. Weird.

So that news story ran on me yesterday and, overall, I think they did a good job of capturing what I told them. The way they framed the segment was interesting-they framed it as me being this former world traveler (they kept using "off the beaten path" for the things I've done) who now only has "memories" of a different life due to my condition. It's definitely the best news story I've seen on kratom, though, and because the FDA never got back to the newscaster, the only segment was pretty much about me, ha ha. I'm glad I cleaned my house. They showed so much more than I expected. It started with an open shot of my entire house and the words, "She lives in a big house on a hill..." We were watching it and cracking up.

I get what you're saying. It's not even just going to rehab but they're constantly talking about how they're "stressed" and have "too much going on" so they have to take a trip. It doesn't seem like they ever actually address their problems, they just leave town. ETA: If Cate was truly feeling suicidal then she definitely needed to go to the doctor for her own safety. For most of us, though, that's a trip to the ER which sometimes results in admittance. Not immediate acceptance into a $50,000 resort rehab.

Or bake her a pie...

She looks at least 10 years younger in that bottom picture. It's really weird.

Really? Her "determination" is what she is addicted to? Her determination to do what? To make up excuses, be the center of attention, overindulge, and make everything about her? Okay, I'd buy that. Telling her that her determination to reach goals is an addiction, on the other hand, is just as bad as someone saying, "I'm too nice. I care about people too much." It's an over-inflated sense of self. Whitney doesn't do ENOUGH. Someone telling her that she does TOO MUCH just gives her validation to continue on her downward spiral.

Good! Glad it's not just me! I thought my computer was out of synch. Turns out it's just Farrah.

Reminds of me of 10 Things I Hate About You... "What is it with this chick? She have beer-flavored nipples?"

Or to work on his big, important career. Seriously, though. How successful IS he if he can up and move to Indiana and start a family? Hollywood is a fickle business. So much of it is about networking, even for the behind-the-scenes people. Out of sight, out of mind. They're both dumb.

It's one of the reasons why I have trouble in Eastern European countries where haggling is all almost required. I'm like Mary Jo in that episode of DESIGNING WOMEN where she talks about having lived in Mexico and shopping at the market. "Have you ever tried to buy a chicken in Guadalajara?" Mary Jo: I hate to bargain, I've never been good at it. You know I lived in Mexico for a couple of years when Ted was in medical school and let me tell you there's no such thing as the price of eggs south of the border. At first I'd just go to the market and I would just pay whatever price they asked and after a couple of weeks I told Ted, "We can't live in Guadalajara, it's just too expensive." Charlene: Well how'd you get by? Mary Jo: Well I finally figured it out. I'd go to the guys in the market and I would say, "How much is this orange" and they'd kind of size me up and say "$600." And I'd walk away and they'd say "$0.30!" I hate that.

I agree. To me, Rory was not a great communicator. Foreign correspondents need to be able to get right in the middle of the action, ask the hard questions, and actually TALK to people. Rory always came across as someone who was more likely to stand back against the wall and observe.