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I don't think I would find Austin so insufferable if he wasn't such a spectacularly poor sport. His histrionics just seem so disrespectful to his competitors. You aren't the only one playing, jerk!

THANK you Rabithed! The granny apple doll is exactly what I was thinking but I couldn't put it together!

When Raven said "Cheers, Scallops" it sounded so scripted and forced that it momentarily took me out of the show. Then Wells piled on with his phony "oh, didn't you know?" douchiness. Did they think we forgot everyone whooping it up last week behind her back? Turds. Also, Raven has kind of an old-lady-without-her-dentures face.

Robby to production: I want to turn it up a notch with Amanda. Can you help me put together something really special? Production to Robby: would seven glow sticks do the trick?

Hey Bachelor in Paradise! Seventh grade called. It said to tell you that it's embarrassed by how mean, completely immature, and not funny you are.

I don't understand how this show can make fun of itself while simultaneously taking itself so very seriously. Do they really think they taught us an important lesson tonight? They think they can show clips of crabs, use circus music to signal us when a date isn't going well, and CH running up the beach in a suit Bay Watch Style and then sit us down and have a serious conversation about consent and race? I feel like I need a shower now and not for the "right reasons."

I think the thing that annoys me the most is that the Ginger-Hanson-Makenzie brothers pronounce "crab trap" as "crob trop".

Rachel, during every date: "But enough about me. How do you feel about me?"

Was Dean wearing skinny sweatpants? And dress shoes? Dress booties? That was really confusing.

I waited TWO WEEKS for someone to get punched in the eye. They ended up hitting themselves in the face with a cardboard shield. Thanks for making a fool of me, show.

I don't understand the "to be continued..." On an elimination show like The Bachelorette, EVERY week is "to be continued"! Just because you are switching the order and putting rose ceremonies in the middle isn't fooling anyone, show!

Asking Fred to go talk as she picks up the group date rose seemed especially cruel, even for this show. Unless it's really is all fake? Then it was lame because she should have held it between her teeth or something.

I agree! This commercial makes me feel like I need a shower. And Volkswagen, the only thing I think about when I see one of your cars is Dieselgate.

I smugly said "alfalfa." My cheeks feel warm even typing that!

The yoplait "protein, protein, protein" carpool ladies. It annoyed me to even type the word "protein" like that. But I don't get why there is such a mean-spirited vibe to it. Like the driver is trying to get the passenger to spill her yogurt by jerking the car. And the look on their faces. It's like they hate each other. Or maybe I'm projecting because I hate THEM.

After Corrine was booted, I thought it looked like she was contorting/covering her face to stifle laughter, not fight back tears. I wasn't paying attention before the rose ceremony when she was "crying", but after I did not see any actual tears. Dry face, dry fingers after wiping her eyes. My hat is off to her sleeping abilities though. As a lifelong sufferer of occasional insomnia, the girl's ability to instantly achieve R.E.M. anytime and anywhere is enviable!

Did they seriously not tell Raven her dad's news until that moment? This show is fun to snark on and all but that just seems beyond wrong. I want to watch and mock, not feel guilty for in any way enabling a reality show to so heartlessly keep information like that from someone just to stick to some arbitratry show rules. Yuck.

That definition says "initial consonant sounds" though, not just the same consonant. Ok. Done beating my dead horse!

I'm bothered that "saddle shoe" was considered alliterative. I thought that meant that the words start with the same sounds, not necessarily the same letters. Anyone else?

This show is so confusing. One minute I'm enjoying myself, mocking the fakeness and making clever, snarky comments to my husband who is playing on his phone and not even pretending to watch. The next minute someone is telling a genuinely terrible story about childhood trauma and I'm ashamed of myself! And the next minute I'm feeling that German word for vicarious embarrassment while grown women show poor sportsmanship during a beach volleyball game. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, SHOW???

I have emetaphobia (fear of vomit). I understand that I have a problem. And that I'm the kind of person that will literally run out of the room with my fingers in my ears screaming "la la la" if anyone near me hints of nausea. But how, HOW can you have your face right next to someone while and then KISS them right after they throw up? Does he have no sense of smell? TASTE??? In my head I said, "Huh. They must have a toothbrush and mouthwash available on that plane because that could not have happened otherwise." And then she said she couldn't believe he kissed her even though she just barfed and my legs went numb and the room went dark. That is the grossest thing I've ever seen on tv and I watch "Naked and Afraid."

My mistake--the montage of Jarod's love for Rob Thomas was aired during the after show. Nothing wrong with Hanson or Rob Thomas--I just thought it was odd that they both liked musicians who had most of their commercial success in the 90s. And it was the most enthusiastically I've ever heard Jarod speak of ANYONE. Kind of nice to see him passionate about something!

I finally understand the unbreakable link between Ashley and Jared! They are time travelers! Last night she slipped by saying Hanson is her favorite band. Tonight Jared pledged his allegiance to Rob Thomas. How did the editors let such anachronisms slip by them? But seriously. Rob Thomas? That explains a lot.

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It was awesome to watch people vomiting and writhing in abdominal pain then have to watch a commercial for Burger King's Whopperito. #vomitphobia#pleasedontshowthrowup#sonothungry