Yours Truly

I was so excited about this franchise because Little House on the Prairie is my FAVORITE show in the whole wide world so I couldn't wait to see Kyle. I also remembered Kim from a few movies I saw when I was little as well as the one episode of LHOTP she was on as well (she played a girl named Olga, with uneven legs, One of my favorite episodes :-) So I was so very shocked and disappointed to see that Kyle was/is the ultimate mean girl and I felt terrible for Kim. Throughout the seasons I've gone up and down with Kyle because she does have some favorable traits and can tone it down when she needs a redemption season so her funny side gets more screen time but yeah Kyle is one spoiled unlikeable brat.

Don't be too sure. It's all the rage for people to be unapologetically offended by their childhood if it doesn't meet the fairytale standards of today. I get working through childhood trauma but as the years go on it's getting more and more acceptable to point fingers and shame parents for not being perfect or not delivering A-Z of "required" parenting. I'm getting ready for my sons "sit down" when he's in his early/mid twenties to tell me how he felt it was "unacceptable" for me to have.................................... and boy oh boy is that not going to be a good day for either of us. Just sayin'. Now a days it's encouraged for people to look around and find somewhere to place their unresolved issues and complaints and hurts and grievances etc. etc. and yup you guessed it a lot of it is directed back home. I'm all for working stuff out and achieving better mental health but I do think it's a bit distasteful how society encourages such a harsh doses of shame and guilt in order to achieve these goals. Parents were once children too as well as just human and there's this unrealistic expectation that somehow some way Parents should magically morph into "do no wrong" beings once children become part of the equation and that just ain't it.

Yeah, and probably wouldn't throw out Jessels mother in a crisis. Look, Sai was hella genuine about how she felt guilt about her mom passing and let me tell you I completely understand how an impossible alcoholic gets a one way ticket to leave...... I get all that FOR SURE but at the same time I really wonder just HOW supportive her husband actually was and did he actually TRY before deciding Sai's mother needed to go? How disruptive was Sai's mom? Or was her first infraction all he needed? Not that it's not an acceptable decision to make because hell yes it is but at the same time I have a feeling that it didn't take much for Sai's husband to kick mom dukes out the house siting "the children". Not that it isn't a good enough reason but I get the feeling that a Pavit type of husband would have had a different type of approach with regards to supporting his wife in such a situation and maybe THAT'S where some of Sai's resentment comes into play. "I don't want to see such an accomodating husband that's pretty chill and supportive while mine forced me to kick out my sick mother..." Maybe deep down she feels like she could have used a more "Pavit" type of husband while dealing with her mother and her issues and that makes her want to invalidate Jessel and Pavits relationship that much more. I dunno...... COMPLETE speculation and I know it's a huge unknown as well as a big reach but there's something about guilt that makes your mind spin a thousand and one "what ifs" around after the fact. Either way one thing is for certain, Sai cared WAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY too much about Jessels marriage FOR SURE.

I think it's distasteful. Whether they are having it or not the fact that Abe's little jokey joke about feeling bad for Erin cause he wants it all the time left me skeeved out. I get that it was a joke and he's not tossing her on the bed and ravishing her against her will but there was a bit of self awareness in his little joke. That tells me that he gets it at times when Erin may not be in the mood and in all honesty I'm sick to my stomach that it's still such an acceptable practice within a marriage.

Okay so here’s my little assessment about the Ubah, Brynn, Erin Sai debacle. I understand why Ubah also blames Erin. I have to admit that when I watched that scene of Erin bringing up David it was a stir the pot move for sure but it wasn’t done that intensely. I feel like the only negative energy surrounding Erin disclosing this info was the normal amount that surrounds any housewife doing their job. Erin didn’t seem all that extra when explaining it to Sai and it really felt like a moment when Erin was just moving the needle a bit and needed something to stir up but it didn’t seem like she was trying to get Sai to go after Ubah full speed ahead. With that said, I can understand that Ubah, understanding Erin’s ways, felt that Erin sharing that information with Sai created the situation where it gave Sai the opening to say something about Ubah. THAT’s where I understand why Ubah feels that way. Basically Erin opened the door. Personally I think it’s a pretty flimsy angle but I UNDERSTAND how that's enough for Ubah to be mad at Erin. The way I see it Sai didn’t like hearing that about her husband and even though Sai wasn’t all that wound up during her exchange with Erin you could tell that she didn’t appreciate Ubahs reaction or that she complained to Erin. In that scene you can see Sai get a bit pissy and THAT’S where she decides to say “screw this secret” and coyly mention that A) Ubah is fine (that’s her way of dismissing any discomfort Ubah felt during the exchange with David) and B) is seeing someone (her way of sticking it to Ubah for trying to throw her husband under the bus). Sai does what she does best which is dismiss anyone’s displeasure with her with a condescending wave a hand and an oh well whatever but because of her anger she also threw in that tid bit of information that Ubah asked her NOT to repeat. That was a catty move, prompted by Erin’s unnecessary sharing. Now, I DO think that Brynn isn’t innocent because if they were talking at dinner and Sai explained that Ubah doesn’t want anyone to know so it CAN’T be mentioned and Brynn does so anyway…. Well that’s just a dick move. An obvious one at that. Now if Brynn truly didn’t know that it was a sensitive subject (which I don’t believe) and no one told her it was off limits (from Ubah) to talk about then I can give her a pass. I personally don’t think Brynn was absolutely clueless about the secretiveness of the information. Brynn acting like Sai already said something about it on camera gives permission to Brynn to speak on it is absurd because to Ubah it is STILL a private matter. Brynn casually waving away her part in it as if contributing to the situation isn’t a big deal cause someone else made the bigger boo boo is just bullshit and bitchy.

I want to say that Jessel looked really good and very pretty. Wasn’t that fond of the dress tho. I also want to say that I’m happy Jessle is speaking to the mentioning of not having sex was in connection to postpartum. Erin and Sai were the ones that broke it off from the original sentiment and turned it into some mysterious conundrum they couldn’t wrap their head around. But of course they needed it to be some sort of relevant riddle that needed figuring out so that they could continue to shit talk about Jessel. The deliberant confusion was their way of trying to make their constant talk around it justified and it was just all so forced. I hope Jessel is able to really take the conversation where it leaves off this episode. It actually didn’t occur to me just how wicked their handling of it was until she pulled me back and reminded me that all of it stemmed from Jessel speaking on how her sex life is postpartum and THAT’S actually the important part to focus on. Here she is sharing with girlfriends how having the children has been and how its changed her life, adding that piece of information regarding sex and throughout the season it was used to sorta shame Jessel (and Pavit) for not having sex. I mean to be honest I think it’s so lame and ridiculous to think that sex is the end all and be all of any and everything. Yes, sex is an important part of a relationship but the attitude towards it and how quickly people will laughing condemn the (GASP) concept of having to do without it for an extended period of times always comes across as HELLA ignorant to me. As well as childish and simpleminded. So a good marriage, friendship, connection, partnership and lifelong commitment has no real relevance if you’re not banging at least 3 times a week??? It’s just such a sad and pathetic stance to have on a lifelong commitment. That’s just ONE part of the bigger picture and people constantly put it out there that that’s the biggest factor we all need to focus on in order to be happy and not lose such an important part of your life. Sure, it needs to not be ignored but its such an ick factor when people matter of factly turn it into such a harrowing obligation. Sex is supposed to be something shared and enjoyed by both. Something that happens out of a mutual attraction and desire. It’s not supposed to be a time-stamped, clock-in clock-out moment of your day and some people treat it as such. As if there’s a quota to be reached. A checkbox to mark off. That’s what I got from Erin and Sai. It was so childish. Not to mention Abe chiming in about how often he “needs” it pretty much confirming that there’s most likely some times where she’s just expected to service him. That’s how I see it when one person sounds like they want it more frequently than their partner. I’m not a fan of that equation. Sorry not sorry. But I mean, If ya'll both WANT TO constantly go at it like bunnies then hey, match made in heaven but that's not usually the case. If other things are going on, it’s very likely that it affections those natural romantic urges and I for one never like to have to “force” my responses or force my initiations. If it ain’t genuinely gravitating towards an intimate encounter than it just ain’t happening WHICH can absolutely be the case with postpartum. Understandably so. To put it simply, I like to be in the mood or no sex for you. Plain and simple. And with twin young toddlers running around? Yeah, no surprise the mood aint right. I hope Jessel really gets to flesh this out in the next part of the reunion.

Especially when you ain't all that. I LOVE confidence too so you don't need to be a beauty to be ALL THAT but announcing you're soooooo pretty everywhere you go is just corny. I honestly believe her head turning status comes from her swag and not necessarily her "stunning" beauty. You can be average and be a head turner with some fierce styling, makeup and overall complete look and I think that's Ubah's appeal. Face alone? Ehhhh. Show me Zendaya walking down the street on a regular day non glam and i'm still wow'd with her beauty. Ubah, not so much...(even when she is glammed up, actually).

OMG! I thought it was just me but yeah her eyes are small and with those puffy cheeks they look like they've sunken into her face just above them. Ugghh. Her lips are okay but they look a little to small for her face. And everything looks very crowded into the center of her face so it just looks a bit odd to me.

I really want to like Brynn because I think she can brings seriously good funny and a good amount of fun as well. I really, truly dislike the sex kitten routine. It brings me second hand embarrassment for her targets and for her. I have to admit that that much self appreciation is a huge downer for me, I'm looking at you too Ubah.... Personally, I don't find Ubah all that attractive. I UNDERSTAND why she's considered attractive and I CAN see it but there's something about her face that doesn't WOW me and it actually does the complete opposite but as I've gotten older, eye of the beholder and all that ya know. I feel the same way about Brynn. She's pretty enough but there's nothing about her that WOW's me to the point that she needs to be acting so "but of course you'll be honored for me to flirt with you". I see that more from Ubah because butterface aside she's got the complete "Look" so I get why she turns heads. I'm absolutely obsessed and in love with her braided look in the confessions. I found her absolutely lovely. My observations about Ubah doesn't mean I don't feel like she regularly Kills it, it just means that I believe her ability to turn heads is not necessarily because of her face. Its how she carries herself, how she commands a room, her outfit and overall LOOK that contributes to how her presence in a room is received. Add it all up and yes, she's "stunning". That's my equation anyway. So technically my thing is that, to me, her face is pretty ehhhh but since she has the complete package it puts her over the top on the grading scale. I feel the same about Brynn but on a lesser scale cause although she does walk into a room with a particular air about her it isn't as fierce as Ubah so her lackluster appeal doesn't reach the same level. Yes she can walk in and get alot of attention for her looks but to me she's rather average, which is not a bad thing she's not something to write home about. I guess I'm just a bit of a snob when it comes to these things cause I'm from New York too and pretty, young, fierce things are a dime a dozen in that city and I've seen PLENTY so it takes some serious stunners for me to truly be gobsmacked. You need to be JLo gorgeous, Angela Bassett gorgeous, Salma Hayik gorgeous, Zendaya gorgeous for me to be impressed to the level I see people describe Ubah and yes I do understand that to some people Ubah is that level of gorgeous but I don't see it.

Erin's husbands hair is just gross. Not only is it a very unflattering "style" but when he was at Brynn's birthday his hair just looked messy and dirty. I'm guessing that was product in his hair but the back of his head looked absolutely greasy and gross.

So Gina and Emily try to throw Heather under the bus by saying that when the cameras were down she said something to the effect that Shannon's relationship should be fair game on the show. Ok, noted. So what? She shared how she felt OFF camera and how she felt was that she thought it shouldn't be something they should have to shy away from when the cameras are rolling. That's not a smoking gun that's her stating her opinion. I'm so over Gina and Emily taking simple interactions and conversations and trying to assign some nefarious intent. THEY are the one's that continue pushing the narrative of "scandalous" actions and "damning" comments being made. They want to bring conflict up so all of a sudden every last comment out of Heathers mouth has some ill intention attached to it and that's their story. Look, ain't nobody pretending that Heather isn't having her own little internal dialogue that tip toeing around Shannons pathetic relationship is bullshit but at the same time I doubt she put all that much energy trying to hatch some scheme in order to put Shannon on blast. Ahem, that was Tamra. I think what really bugged the shit out of me was Emilys constant REACHING with all things Heather. Some of the stuff had a tad bit of merit to it but Geez Louise Emily was just a blathering fool for most of the season especially when she was trying to come for Heather. Oh and side note: I HATED!!!!! Emily's wardrobe for most of the season. Those black yoga/athletic pants that she had to wear EVERYWHERE and all of her bodycon outfits were so painful to see. Crop tops, mini skirts, everything sticking to her body. Look, my problem with her looks were that they were too try hard, look at me, "I'm not fat" or "See, my body looks good" or "I'm really not as big as you think". It was just so pathetic how much she was beating over our heads that her curviness is a good thing (which her curves did look good) but the desperation and the "just a little too tight" obviousness of her looks were constant fashion fails to me. Not to mention, she did all that to lose the weight anyway..... Just proves that much more that her outfit choices were screaming- "Please, please think I'm sexy!" It was her obvious need to be lusted after is what left a bad taste in my mouth.

I was confused why Kyle was going over the menu with the guest in the first place when Tumi had already spoke with them. Did I miss a scene where Tumi told Kyle to do one last walk through on the menu with the guest after she printed up the menu? I totally thought that was going to piss Tumi off but she just rolled with it once Kyle updated her. I was okay with no drama there but I was still a bit confused by it. I thought Tumi would consider it as undermining of her conversation with the guest but whatever. Another thing that was absolutely bonkers was that Kyle didn’t immediately GO tell Tumi about the change and it seemed like no one even bothered to let the chef know until right around service. I was absolutely confused about the hell was happening. Jack let one person say Tumi is talking shit about him and now he decides he’s going to be difficult and rude to Tumi? Damn Jack I was rooting for you and your food looks awesome, not to mention your skills in the galley so I hope this Tumi hiccup smooths out. Tumi is a tad disorganized when it comes to follow through which is where Natalya would be a perfect fit to work with since she’s so energized and pumped to get the job done. Too bad they have been set up to be mortal enemies this season. Sigh…..

Also there didn't seem to be a moment where Tumi met the rest of the crew aside from bumping into a few while boarding the boat and maybe the walk threw. Did they even show Tumi meet Jessika before their whole sit down after Kyle arrived? It just seemed extra weird.

Taylor and the movie was another drummed up corny attempt at Heather doing something other than being Heather. Just because her nicities seem scripted and/or rehearsed doesn't change the fact that she does offer up basic manners in most interactions. I get it. Her demeanor this, her demeanor that. Feel free to dislike having these types of moments about them. Feel free to roll your eyes and shit talk to a friend. The part that bugs me is when the extra step is taken to 1- punish Heather by callously being rude to her at random occassions due to festering miscommunications 2- single her out at a table to call her out about some random interaction that was mainly pleasant and uneventful 3- Ad libbing and/or inserting insinuations by Heather that she didn't not imply.... The list goes on and on with regards to the liberties these women take when reliving, rewriting, reinventing any and all interactions they've had with this woman. I have nothing against being annoyed with Heather for whatever reason. People have a right to feel how they feel but it's the part where the cast was truly bending over backwards expecting something from Heather as if she needs to be apologetic about who she is. I don't mind confronting issues and problems. But the thing with Heather is that they just don't like her in general and there's no real way for Heather to make amends for that. They kept trying to hitch their annoyance with her to an act or specific offense but everything they threw at her really had no real legs. That's the part that annoyed me. They wanted a general overall change from her but turned it muddy when they tried to prove their point by nitpicking on every little thing. It just got so tiresome.

So, unpopular opinion here but I am so over the narrative that people MUST apologize just because. Heather has a reputation for over explaining and never taking accountability and I have to say I’m the same way. I like to explain myself before taking ownership of anything because I find in this day and age people get to accuse you of “offenses” they’ve picked out for you. Nah, nuh-uh. YOU don’t get to CREATE an offense out of thin air and place it on ME. We need to discuss, put it in context and I get to tell you what my intentions were regarding said interaction. Most of the time things get taken out of context in order to lay bullshit at someone’s feet and to get the finger pointing started. Now, in all fairness this franchise is based on just this and most of them DO IT on the regular. What Heather does is rolls her eyes and goes nope. It didn’t go down that way. These women want her to apologize for trumped up charges, heresay, and overblown accounts of what she’s actually done and personally I ain’t mad at her for that. I’ve been know to piss people off because I get peppered with the whole, “here you go again, with your explanations…” Well yeah, I need to understand what has actually offended you, especially since I know that I wasn’t attempting to be mean or cutting or whatever it is I’m being accused of so I need to explain where I was coming from so you can then explain to me how you took it and then we can figure out where the confusion in conversation lies. If I just say, “oh I’m sorry” then it’ll probably happen again cause I have no idea how my actions offended you since that wasn’t what I was aiming for to begin with. Heather choses to interact with them the way she does. Some of them are rubbed the wrong with her demeanor and choice of actions and have mentioned it to her on a number of occasions. After that it’s up to them to decide whether or not they want to accept these character trait or not. They can’t force her to keep apologize for who she is and how she conducts herself cause she’s grown and has obviously determined that her behavior isn’t for all that. Either take it or leave it but demanding apologies and a complete personality overhaul is just juvenile and pointless.

My point is that the podcast isn't a smoking gun. Tamara and Teddi were the one's throwing it around casually and sharing it on their platform. I personally think that in the moment Heather tried to accept some responsibility by going ahead and owning that she was most likely talking about Noella and whoever. Look I’m not that worried that much about “clearing Heather’s name” but I really think that the “evidence” against Heather in this instance is very, very, very thin. EVEN with Heather “admitting” that she was calling Noella a loser. First of all I do believe Heather in a way when she says it’s not in her vernacular to throw around the word Loser cause Heather has proven that she’s very particular in the way she handles her conversations with these women especially. Do I think in a moment of frustration and irritation she may have off handedly said something like, “ugghh, let’s get out of here I want to get away from these losers” not really but it’s absolutely possible. The reason why I think this whole Loser, name calling “scandal” is a pretty dumb hill to die on is because of all the stages it’s gone through. It went from it being a second hand comment coming from Tamara, to a direct insult, to an inside joke about Heather, to Heather associating it with Noella, blah, blah, blah…. I mean first of all it wasn’t even that deep to begin with. Heather is annoying. Most definitely and I hated the way she treated Shannon when Shannon joined the cast but this season Heather has actually been super duper tame and somewhat enjoyable. She’s put forth an effort to be pretty neutral with all of the women and I’ve appreciated that throughout the season. Because of her toned down approach to them it made all the other pretentious events and moments she’s provided rather humorous. It's like she's still a bit of a show off but I feel she's a bit more self aware about it and poking a bit of fun as well. I don't know it didn't come across as stiff as it has in the past. The effort to be annoyed with EVERYTHING Heather this season was extra heavy handed and forced which is why I can’t give two shits about this alleged name calling incident. And I definitely can’t get behind the ridiculous overreactions from Gina and especially Emily. It’s exhausting and totally fruitless how hard they are trying to paint it as some truly gruesome crime against humanity that Heather thinks less of them. Hell I think less of them and I didn’t just sell my house for 55 million dollars. LOL. Emily’s brutesome behavior towards Heather throughout the season over INITIALS and trip gifts and snuffolopogus comments is way more troubling to me that anything Heather has done. What it boils down to is, Heather bugs them. And? It’s gotten hella uncomfortable watching them throughout the season try to get Heather to be someone other than herself in order to appease their dislike of her and I NEVER ever think that’s okay. At their ages they should be old enough to recognize a situation for what it is and adjust accordingly. Not demand that a person change for them. I get not tolerating abuse and mistreatment in any interaction but Heather isn’t abusive and doesn’t mistreat them, she annoys them on occasion and that’s it. Get over it cause she ain't changing for you and trying to drum up her offenses as something other than personality conflict has gotten boring and tiresome. The drama for the show is expected so I understand bringing shit up and complaining and having confrontations. It's a part of the job but their relentless badgering of Heather at any and all events was just childish, unnecessary and pretty baseless. The complaints were so ridiculously mild but then ramped up when in all reality the gripes amounted to schoolyard shanigans that should have been blown off after one episode instead of lingering throughout the whole season. Hell, the real meat and potatoes of any confrontation should have stayed with the fact that Shannon threw out Gina’s DUI yet again. That Shannon sauced up the story by throwing in how her kids were at risk to be taken by CPS. Now THAT was something to get into and have a very real conversation\smackdown about that would warrant a few episodes worth of conversations. The whole Heather “takedown” had very little ammunition but took up the whole season. Name calling, whale outfit, Heather’s initials, snuffolopogus, trip gifts. Like seriously??? This is what these women had to complain about Heather. This is what we keep revisiting over and over again? Like damn, enough already. Whatever. Who in the actual fuck actually has PTSD over Heather rolling her eyes and initially everything? Dude if you're that fragile that Heather Dubrow got you so pressed you are making a drunken fool of yourself at every one of her events (Emily) then maybe you need to be on pause and use that time to go into therapy. It’s just so ridiculous how “traumatized” these women want us to believe they are because of Heather Dubrow. Uggghhh!

Just to clarify, the extended clip of Tamara and Teddi's podcast shows Tamara's saying it in jest as an "inside joke" between her and Shannon. Does it imply that they are joking on Heather, and that they are quoting Heather? yeah it does but it still doesn't expressly point to it being something Heather actually said. I'm more inclined to believe that Shannon and Tamara ad libbed in their ragging on Heather and inserted "loser" in there joking banter about Heather since the theme is always that Heather thinks she better than everyone. I feel like they introduced the word loser during their moment of making fun of Heather and making up Heather like dialogue to describe how THEY THINK Heather feels about people. I don't think Heather actually used the word loser but it doesn't mean that it's not possible she feels that way about some of them. And she'd be right anyway, honestly.

I get Erin's reaction in the pool when she started tearing up. Ubah was being hella childish and even if I was on her side about all the valid reasons why a missing phone is not a fun experience (I left my phone in an Uber the night before I was leaving vacation early the next morning and my ID, credit cards and of course all other conveniences like my electronic boarding pass saved on my phone) but Ubah was really trying to get the other girls to be mad at her. I mean Ubah wants to torture Erin that's her decision but the way she kept trying to get the other girls just as mad at Erin as she was was really going too far. I don't like that shit. It's like she was truly trying to get the other ladies to start attacking Erin too. I don't think I like Ubah to be honest. She's a bit too full of herself in a stank way. I am all about being fabulous. Hell I used to defend Luanne ALL. THE. TIME cause Luanne WORKS it! I love that Luanne isn't gonna let other people tell how she has to act, that she can't be extreme and that she has to dim her shine. I get how Luanne was a bit much at times but I loved her presence. I loved how, for the most part she at least always wanted to have a good time and not be so damn serious. Luanne had a personality that warranted the reception she received not to mention looks but with Ubah, she seems to walk into a room expecting admiration instead without giving off much warmth. Ubah just walks around as if she's owed admiration. I have no problem with Ubah speaking her mind and voicing her issue with the Erin but what I cant get behind is 1) the aggressiveness. It was aggressive and unacceptable FULL STOP. 2) Her trying to justify her aggressiveness and reassigning it as something else. 3) Her continuing to harp on it in such a rude and immature way throughout different portions of their daily activities. 4) Her need to deliberately create an uncomfortable environment for Ein AFTER Sai asked repeatedly for her to let it go because she didn't want it to continue to disrupt the group as a WHOLE. Even though I've mentioned that Sai shutting down a conversation with her whole, I'm tired of it and I don't want to hear it anymore can be problematic for me she was right in doing so in this instance. She probably would have been better served by saying "okay Ubah you monopolized the day with you negative energy long enough, I for one don't want to continue to suffer for Erins mistake so we need to stop making this a group problem and shift it into a you and Erin problem. I'm done with you hijacking our whole outing with this and holding us hostage so take that energy somewhere else or drop it!" Sai making it about herself (you see, Sai deciding SHE is done with it can be received negatively) gave Ubah the opening to tell Sai well then don't get involved. Cause that's how I feel about Sai inserting herself. Girl, I ain't talking to you so keep you opinion to yourself. However, in this instance Sai had a right to shut it down cause Ubah had been dragging out her tantrum and I'm with Sai. Bitch, shut up already, you're making the WHOLE table uncomfortable you self centered brat! Get a grip already! Ubah's need to drag the women on her side like a 12 year old child really lost her points with me. Not to mention that she again advanced towards Erin in an aggressive manner when they were in the pool. I get being unhappy with someone but Ubah's way of handling conflict seems to be to agressively bully them relentlessly until they scream uncle and that tells me that Ubah hasn't fucked around and found out with the wrong one yet. Just sayin' .

ALL. OF. THIS!! Especially that last part!! LOL Meanwhile my explanation AFTER I handled that mess would have been "Don't start none, won't be none" with a simple shrug of the shoulders.

While I do appreciate this about Sai I don't like it when she does it to shut a conversation down AFTER she's participated and said HER peace. I’m all about minimizing a conflict or argument that’s gone on too long or needs to be squashed but sometimes she likes to do this in a mean girl “nobody cares” kinda way and that’s when it bugs me. It also takes a slight condescending tone making whoever is invested in the conversation seem simple and ridiculous. Again, some of these interactions deserve this sort of an attempt at moving on but she sometimes does it in a disrespectful way. It also bugs when she chimes in with this tone from the outside when other parties are trying to hash out their shit that has nothing to do with her. I get that sometimes it’s beating a dead horse but popping in with an eyeroll and a “who cares, whatever” approach annoys me. I still think Sai is OKAY for now and as long as she doesn’t go too far over the line with her little condescending tendencies then I can stay on board with her. Sometimes she can pull it off and lightens everyone up to shift the energy and sometimes she comes down hard with it in a nasty way. So we will see what her percentage is with regards to how often she does either. Mean girl, or fun friend trying to deescalate from a merry go round discussion and move on. Hmmmmm.

I agree. I mean I don't actually dislike her that much but she definitely doesn't get the "God all the ladies suck EXCEPT for Jenna" thumbs up from me. She gets side eye too. Look, I get insecurities and lifelong hang ups and stuff like that especially with some of the physical details she' s dealt with but what bugs about Jenna is that she plays up the whole "ugly duckling" self deprecating angle a little too much for my taste. Give it a rest honey. Not completely buying it because there's gotta be some spice, some self appreciation and some lime light chasing in your bones that has you join a show like this. Quit it already. Touching on things and/or pointing out these details to explain certain tendencies you have, okay fine but continuing to fall back HARD on this "who me? Why I would never" schtick she pulls with the ladies is a bit much. She also has this whole "huh, what? I never would have guessed it would be an issue..." childishness that has gotten annoying as well. She doesn't seem to be straight forward about things which I find odd considering she's such a successful woman in such a fast paced, hard edged city. Stop with the baby talk, and cringy scared little girl body language. It's time to speak up clearly and say shit with your chest.

Who is denying that Joao can and has been an ass I wonder?

Eh, two grown adults not knowing how to handle casual sex. Actually I think Joao has NO problem with casual sex its dealing with women who pretend to be okay with it but put the blame elsewhere where when it shockingly doesn't come with committed relationship behavior that throws him off. LOL I say it all the time. Casual sex just isn't for everyone and it cracks me up when women test the waters and then get mad that its ice cold. I'm just not in the habit of infantilizing women who should pretty much know better and that goes double for Tzarina who already had her preconceived opinion of him and plenty of information. She had everything she needed to not even go there but the vagina was making demands and God forbid it gets denied. Blah.

Baited her? See this is what I mean. It's the diabolical interpretation of what happened that I find comical. To me they were having a pretty basic conversation. Joao was trying to see where Tzarina's head was at and ASK questions to try and get her to be more clear about what her intentions were. The question he asked was " What's the first thing you think of when you think of me?" (paraphrase) how is that a manipulative question?? Looked to me he was trying to break it down to something more simple since Tzarina's turned into a jibbering fool during that date. Look, I'm about looking at the big picture and not overreaching. It's not Tzarina's fault they didn't work however Tzarina did act all deer in the woods on that date which is very different from the cool, low key, positive energy chef Joao was interacting with during the season. I have absolutely no problem with Tzarina being guarded and confused about how she wanted to proceed with Joao but she did resort to being insulting when asked how she felt. That was also a childish way to treat Joao and the situation. I think Tzarina was doing a little bit of manipulation herself with her double talk and feelers. In the rack with Joao she mentions "absolutely catching feelings" then quickly hardens up and reinforces the casual angle. That was her way of letting him know that anything further casual or not would most likely result in her catching feeling for him. She was lightly throwing bits and pieces of information at him HOPING he would get the hint and take over from there. As in, promise it wouldn't be just a fling. All in all that's what she wanted to hear from him but she didn't want to ask it OF him. She was hoping he would make the first move towards claiming a serious attempt at an official relationship and when he failed to do so her guard kept going up and up and by the time he asked the question she blurted out her insult since he wasn't delivering what she was hoping he would. I'm a woman, I saw all that coming a mile away. Joao's, like a lot of men, was looking for absolute confirmation that Tzarina wanted more before throwing his hat in the ring. Honestly I'm not so sure what his answer would have been had Tzarina just came right out and admitted/asked for what she really wanted. But what I think Joao wanted was to at least know EXACTLY what he would be making a decision on. Something casual doesn't require him offering guarantees and reassurances. Something official would. So whether he would have backed of and said he didn't want to do more than casual or yes would have wanted to give it a shot, that date, I THINK, for Joao was for him to be able to understand what it was he had to make a decision about and not just play it by ear moving forward.

I agree. Sai is doing it wrong. And she's being pretty mean while she does it cause not matter what life you lived you should never dictate to someone else what their life experience has been. Jessels problem is that she's tone deaf. That can be very hurtful and Erin and Sai are trying to make her aware of how she chooses to relay her life experiences. I don't think people should walk on eggshells but I also think people should understand when something is in bad taste and how to time certain things in a more thoughtful way. Erin wasn't wrong when she said Jessel comes across like she want the others' stories to also be her story in a sense that Jessel wants to be seen as a person who has also worked hard for what she has and in her head that's where the commonality is but she fails to realize it's not the best comparison to make based on the other ladies life experiences. Jessel see the caring and support they receive from the others and wants to relate as well being that she comes from a family of immigrants but fails to see how that in itself doesn't exactly equate with the life experiences of some of the others. A couple of times Jessel was asked to share so it's not like she inserted herself right after Brynn's story or Sai's story to try and jump on board the woe is me train, so I feel there is a bit of unfairness there but at the same time Jessel needs to lay off the emphasis on the idea that she was "down and out". Agreed and it's not cute.