Eldemarge

Not if you're a hoarder! Holiday decor year-round! I'm going to go with the theory that they're hoarders and just cleared out their place before she got there.

Crying, codependent parent?

Lol. "Colt doesn't eat bread for breakfast. You'll need to learn his favorites." Take a seat, Debbie.

Aaaaah the "Mr & Mrs" pinterest art on the wall over the bed...

Ashley reminds me a lot of my white, cross-eyed cat. Who isn't that smart.

Oh god, what is going on with HIS HAIR. D: Low-flow showerhead in the hotel?

She is and I am so here for it!

I snorted out loud at "droopy eyeballs." Thank you.

Right?? So he's NOT supposed to try and be a father now? Oy. He's screwed either way, I guess. This family is...not the warmest, are they?

Kalani couldn't give two shits about making her fiance happy, could she. It's all about her being happy and someone helping with the baby.

First woman to touch his wang. Seems pretty clear from over here!

Just look at Eyebags's lack of dental work and you KNOW he has no funds. It hasn't hit her by now?? Gurl.

Another person chiming in to say that I owned the yellow, 90s glasses.

I can't wait to see what tank top/hat combo Tarik chooses from the Elmer Fudd Collection to wear at the reunion.

Next week it looks like Tarek is upset because they haven't had sex therefore he has no proof of her love. He needs proof of her love and they've only known each other like three weeks. This guy is a straight-up skeeze, isn't he. Also, Tarik, aren't muscle shirts for guys with muscles?

Yes! Thank you. Don't forget basically putting the name of a stranger on her child's birth certificate (we did establish this happened and I'm not imagining it, right?).

Re The Twin Life....good god, that intro music. Also, I'm so over Rachel pearl-clutching over open relationships, saying she "doesn't approve." Okay? Is he asking you to be in an open relationship? Is he supposed to apologize? Because you're so pure, Rachel. Whatever.

Angela looks so hard behind the eyes. I'm convinced she's a scary abuser and probably has that reputation in her town. Her dating pool is full of people who know to stay far away from her.

I would have loved to see Katya do Stevie instead. So glad to see Thorgy go. It must be exhausting to be her friend IRL if this is what she's like.

Cierra has way more sense of boundaries than I did at her age. And probably even now. She is awesome.

Oh Lawd, where is my podcast? I need to hear some old hooker commentary on this nonsense.

The ripped leggings/space shoes was the worst outfit I've ever seen on Catfish, which is saying a lot. Also, Nev's wife getting the Robin McGraw treatment is weird.

The thought of Steven out in society, totally free in a normal body and not confined to a bed or a room makes me shudder. He ain't right.

I was SHOUTING the whole time that he better write that girl a check. Come ON. I'm obsessed with that $300. Oh, and I knew there would be a gif here with not-Wayne and that popsicle. Totally called it.

Some of the vape things I've seen guys at work smoke do look like that (like a small flask with a pipe attach to it). At first I also thought it was a beer bottle, but then I could see what it was...I tried to chime in on Twitter but I am an old and I don't know what I'm doing. There needs to be some sort of gif repository for Shocked Catfish faces.