sistermagpie

How many friends does Joel have on the level of Sam? It seems like both of them have other people in their lives--Sam seems friends with the other women at the bar too--but they're just particularly close to each other. We don't see Fred at home so we don't know what this transition has been like for him, but Joel's been unhappy about not seeing his friends enough too, and I assumed that meant Fred and Sam. I mean, what I'm seeing is that her friends aren't drifting away, they've just both hooked up with partners who expect to take over their lives in ways Joel and Fred don't expect in return. It doesn't seem to be something Fred or Joel enjoy either.

Couldn't help but remember what a big deal it was when Kyle called Kim an alcoholic on camera every time Dorit explained that really the problem with her marriage was that PK had a drinking problem. Was an alcoholic. Was a raging alcoholic. Was a total raging alcoholic. It seemed to get worse every time she told someone. And seriously, they're not telling a 10 year old that they're separated and think they'll get away with that? I get that it's easy for them since they seemed to spend months away from each other anyway but...you're saying this on TV.

I liked how Joel going through hell at that Bible meeting made him brave enough to ask to put pictures on the fridge. So it seems Sam really does have a crush on Iceland, but I'm still hoping she's just assuming it's a crush when it's really wanting to be more like him. Although hey, if he invites her to see the Northern Lights on a romantic trip she's earned that too! Re: Sam's singing voice, I still feel like it's mostly just that she's at her warmest and most open when she sings more than she's supposed to have the biggest knockout voice, and since we're usually hearing her friends praising it, that's part of it. Most of her singing moments just make other people happy more than impress them. I was talking with a friend after this ep and we both agreed that it would never occur to either of us to ask the other one to look at our vagina if it burned when we peed!

I could be wrong, but I feel like the point of Iceland is more role model than romantic possibility. He's very okay with himself alone with his dog and he's very calm, which makes Sam even more nervous around him, it seems. And if he can come to Kansas, she can visit Iceland and see those northern lights. This isn't a guy who spends time thinking about all the things wrong with him. I've heard the actor playing him is very well-known in Iceland and he filmed all his scees at once. (I'm going to feel silly if I actually heard that on this board!)

I assumed that since last season, while the father was traveling, the mother was moved to a home in a different state, the father had just settled in Texas and so moved the mother to home near him in Texas. I just can't see how Sam would either be lying or even have a reason to lie. Especially since, iirc, the doctor, who knew the family, was the one who brought it up.

I think she's telling the truth and that's the way they're telling the audience that that's where they are. Sam's dad didn't die, only the actor playing him did. Sam's dad went traveling around, and I guess we're supposed to assume he eventually settled in Texas and the wife is there too. That's why the doctor asked how they were enjoying it--she did know they were in Texas because everyone in town knew.

I had the same thought, that I'll bet Sam winds up going to see those Northern Lights, whether or not she's with Iceland. There's something really wonderful the way the show makes it clear that he does something to her. She's always so nervous and babbly in his presence. And it's not that she has a crush on him. I think he just represents a possibility for her she can't completely name. (I can feel it in my tummy!) The arc of the show started with Sam feeling so alone and lonely after Holly's death, then she found happiness with community, and now she has to go back to being alone without being lonely. It's a good juxtaposition with the couples we see now, where Sam's friends are avoiding important issues just as much as she is--everybody does it. It was a relief to hear Fuck Susie too. Fuck Susie!

Wow, I knew from the preview that Fred's wife was going to say something that made Sam feel bad, but I wasn't expecting it to be that bad. I'm surprised the summary describes her as "a friend" who's being "brutally honest" when she doesn't know Sam that well and seems to be judging her more based on what she looks like and liking donuts more than snacks that come with a "they taste better than they look!" caveat. I'm so interested in what they're doing with the new couples this season, in fact. On one hand we've got Sam's issues we already knew, where she doesn't like change. But she's working on that. I loved that Brad trusted her enough to work with her on the song, and the way she encouraged him and made him feel safe enough to sing to Joel. This is not a woman who's dragging people down. And I hope she becomes friends with Iceland--he seems great and he's a good example of a person who seems to be alone and okay with himself. But otoh, there's signs that being in a couple doesn't automatically mean you're making healthier choices that will make you happier and more yourself. Tricia's hiding her pillow empire from her new guys, which is just funny and I like her feeling like she has a secret identity. But then we've got Joel clearly never wanting to really stick up for himself and what he wants. Sam's right that wanting children is not something you can just let go like a second piano--and it was hilarious when she pointed out that Joel's stepchildren were 30 and he'd never met them so does that really count? Joel's so sensitive to others he backs down without Brad even forcing the issue. And then we've got Fred's wife deciding that Sam is a bad influence on Fred. I don't see how batting practice can really become a thing that takes the place of the brunch where Fred, Joel and Sam could talk and laugh. Joel and Sam already naturally prefer to stand on the sidelines. One of the perks of being an adult is not having to go to gym class. Sam is trying to keep things the same, but she was right that Fred didn't have to eat anything she brought. Sam isn't pressuring him to eat donuts the way his wife is pressuring him and everyone else to eat her granola and celery. She seems to have made Sam her nemesis in this and that's going to drive a wedge between Sam and Fred. Especially since it seems like Fred's happy to blame any slip ups on his part to lack of will power when Sam puts food in front of him rather than just honestly object to being enrolled in an intense weight loss program he's not really committed to. He and his wife had a long distance relationship before, it seems, and she's made a lot of plans for how their life will be now.

My memory was that they were living in Sam's house and Joel was renting his house out?

Right, that's why I'm not saying it's never been done. Just that since it's so rare I'd feel like I'd need to know the details of the times that it has been done before assuming it's a sex change for a minor, even if they had prior gender dysphoria. The important point, imo, isn't that it's never happened under any circumstance, but that U.S. surgeons are appropriately following international guidelines, making it very rare. So not the problem it's made out to be.

No, I can see it. I don't think it contradicts anything.

I was briefly confused as well, I think because Tricia left her there at the house as if Sam would naturally be and stay there without her.

I couldn’t say for sure there’s never been gender-affirming surgery done on a trans minor in the US ever, of course, but most of what anti-trans care activists are asking for is what we’re already doing. It’s probably a good idea to look into the details of any particular surgery if we want to know what’s being done and why. It's rare. For instance, apparently about 97% of top surgeries done on minors is—no surprise—being done on cis males. You don’t have to go to therapy to get breast reduction if you’re cis boy who doesn’t want breasts. Or if you’re a cis girl who wants a breast reduction because of physical discomfort. Or probably even if you’re a minor cis girl who wants breast augmentation. All gender-affirming care was created originally for cis people. It's Megyn Kelly’s #1 issue because she feels very strongly about strict gender identities and has a problem with trans acceptance in general.

That's exactly what I was thinking. Particularly when she's not only having him on a different diet, but she's making him cancel a weekly brunch with friends? Even if you've got him on a healthy diet you can let the man have French toast once a week. Especially when you're taking away a social thing that he loves. It seems like he's just going with it now because they're in a honeymoon phase and either he'll turn out to be the kind of person who lets their spouse run their life or he'll start ignoring it for his own happiness.

This show is so brilliant in how it portrays these little things as so important for Sam. I know Bridget Everett is a pom owner, so I wasn't surprised to see her fall in love with Pepper, but I'm hoping she'll wind up going back to the shelter. The show did a great job of introducing how great pets can be for people, and how Sam's now so scared of losing people she's afraid to take a chance even on a dog. It's funny, I remember last season there was some suspicions about Fred's wife, or at least it was easy to feel like she was a sudden interloper like she felt to Sam, but it really is annoying that she's coming in with rules about Fred not having his weekly brunch with Sam and Joel. I know she just doesn't get how important it is for Sam and that she's worried about Fred's health, but it's still, imo, too presumptuous--especially having it replaced with a sport. I wonder if it'll turn out that she's threatened by Sam in some way. Loving our Icelandic border--and totally believed that Tricia would consider him smelly because he looked smelly even when he wasn't.