smartyshorts

.....and for the love of doG, Charlie. Maybe they could get end of contract unnamed autoimmune disease together and fake faint off a cliff. I've been waiting for Bill to punch Liam since this whole thing started. But the way Liam went down was HILARIOUS. ...the stutter spin move to the floor, dammit I can't help myself. As disgusting as it was, I watched more than a few times. And if Liam trusts Justin beyond the four steps from the door, he deserves to get GOT.

If $Bill even remotely gets away with this "Caroline is dying of an unspecified auto immune disease", I'm out. (I'm not out til after Monaco though). I was hoping Thomas was just leading Bill along and that he knew it was a lie the whole time, but it seems he bought it hook line and sinker. Damn. Will it be Sally who advises Thomas..."This is Bill who would compromise anyone's integrity ...maybe get independent confirmation". Will Caroline step up and say...Yeah, my Uncle is an asshole and we will just keep the arrangement we have, Mmm kay? Because the argument that Thoams hasn't visited with Douglas could easily be countered - even if Thomas were safely in the bosom of Forrester Creations, he's still be up to his eyeballs working (or whatever passes for work over there) designing the "All new collection", so theoretically still wouldn't be flying to NY every weekend. I'm beyond disgusted. Has Eric been eating the lead paint off the walls in that crappy hotel? Fool done lost his ever lovin MIND!!! And since Charlie didn't pony up blackmail money...how has Sheila not been kicked out? Is she telling the desk she's Mrs Eric Forrester or something? Have we even SEEN Charlie since his ill fated visit to Sheila's latest lair? Is it too much to hope she recorded his dumbassery, the killed him and stuffed him in some luggage?

Slightly burnt dry toast.

When Mop on a Broomstick was telling ZenZey about her tragic possible infertility, he was so jubilant about his stupid news I was hoping he'd blurt out "Dont worry baby, I can get Sasha knocked up no problem and we will take that baby!!" Because in that moment he seemed just stupid enough to say that. Did I hear right? Coco and ArJay went OUT of the house. On an actual date? Are we sure they didn't just go to FC to Netflix and Chill? So Maya's modelling "style" is Bug eyed on the edge of crazy helicopter Mom dressed up for a night on the town? I would rather have watched Bill and Brooke trotting through Paris holding hands with jaunty music playing. Or Thomas and Sally finally consummating. Or the Avant parents arguing about what to have for dinner.

Not particularly related to actual storylines... but what was up with the parade of interns coming in daily to hand Steffasaurus folders and introduce themselves? Am I supposed to recognize who the fuck " Ginge" is? They aren't from Survivor or TAR... Big Bro hasn't been on in a while. Sorry, that one has been festering for a while. I don't know what deal with Satan the producers have... but can this be the last time we see or hear from "Emmy". To me, that lady is nails on a chalkboard on her regular show. But here, the manages to turn it up to 50. So happy Bill and Brooke FINALLY got married. But Maya can take all the seats speechifying during the ceremony about how to keep their relationship together. Bish... this lady has been married more years than you've been ALIVE. I couldn't have been the only one watching in open mouthed HORROR, waiting for Ridge and Quinn to consummate IN BROKE's HOUSE!!! Thank the PastaGod that the show steered clear of that.

My watching partner said "I really hope this windbag limp noodle is sterile. Go home, Zenzey." And I cracked up laughing for 10 minutes. Then we were discussing Rumple's extremely sad version of a "surprise wedding in your own kitchen". Put out some flowers, change into a more formal jacket. At least TRY to look like you might be halfway excited in case Brooke caught some brain damaging virus on her way to Bill's and actually showed up. He looked like he was having liver and onions for dinner. So.... no one is gonna even MENTION that the only way Spectra could poach designs was because ArJay was showing them to the "demon Spectra" like they were a bootleg of the new Star Wars movie. No... nothing? Ok, I guess I'm going to have to move along then. Sweet Jesus in a loincloth, hellooo Justin. Is it hot in here? Anyone else feel kind of flushed?

seemed like so much effort for a "surprise" zip line wedding (which, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA) with 8 family members, and one outsider. No professional photographer to document this spectacle? Wow. A Ridge Forrester original (blech) creation, and no documentation? Even the FAMILY couldn't take pics? Was Bill the only one there on the groom's side?Someone need to take a pic or two of what ever the hell Sally was wearing for "What NOT to wear. Ever, for anything. It looked sloppy AND uncomfortable. I think if it was a cute little dress instead of circulation blocking shorts, it could've been slightly more acceptable. Where was Taylor? Or even a MENTION of Taylor? That was weird. (Sorry, I'm at work and I hit SUBMIT sooner than I wanted to) I so badly wanted Wyatt to be drowning his sorrows with Sasha, instead of the other two drips whose names I don't even care enough to remember.

After what seems like MONTHS of the same six characters having the same conversations , as if the writers were on an extended vacation and the actors were told..." Heres the convo you'll be having ...switch it up a bit if you want..see you in February!" Finally FINALLY it all comes to s frothing crashing beautiful crescendo "Now. You can go." ... But wait, no. Lets drag it out too long like every SNL skit until its uncomfortable instead of impactful, and end it with THAT!! (As an aside, i guess everyone on the show and behind the scenes has decided to rewrite DeaQuinn history) I'm definitely not on board for that fuckery, and if tomorrow's show doesnt start off with a viscious right hook into the bag of trash masquerading as Ridge Forrester's face... Then I will go, instead of Ridge. Liam's like a six year old. Its not that he cant keep a secret, its that he cant even WAIT to let everyone know he HAS A SECRET, but he cant telllll youuuuu. Katie, you can go. I know i shouldnt have let my partner on Soap Opera crimes get me back into this roiling mess. But i still wont even dip a toe into Y&R

So how many weeks of Rumple giggling with like minded co conspirators are we going to have to endure? I kind of thought Liam was going to offer a rational argument for a second "Wait a minute. What did you do? Why didnt you immediately leave or go into the house? Like it or not, you're at QUINN'S home, peeping on her in her own back yard." But, nope no logic is allowed to breathe past the sufficating nonsense being slathered on this story like shit flavored icing. Imagine if he had tried that bullshit locker room tittering with Eric " I looked right at her boobs and she didnt even try to cover herself and cry and run away? What kind of woman isnt properly terrorized by unwanted attention??" Eric would have handed him a steaming bowl of what he served to Liam the day before. Oh look, Liam is into storming an executive meeting waving his fists around like an angry toddler! that's new, isn't it?. (is Nicole an executive now?) When did she forgive Wyatt for using her to get at Maya's big secret ... Which ultimately did NOTHING except bring the senior Avants to town for five seconds. But, I digress... Oh Brooke, always keeping her options open. No, I won't marry you but I don't object to an invasion of personal space a time or seven! We get it, Steffy is sexy and strong and brave and would unite warring factions in the Middle East if only they could stream her daily activities on instagram. Enough already. I hope everyone is enjoying a great Holiday Season!

With my work schedule i only get to watch live maybe once or twice a monty, if i wanted to. Imagine my dry heaving surprise to tune in for a quick peek at the goings on, only to find Brooke and that dishevelled hobo masquerading as Ridge re united and rolling around in foliage. Once it was obvious that this wasnt a night terror of $Bill's, i just started saying "Nope. Nope.... NOPE. NO OH OH OH OH OPE" louder and louder. I try to keep up with my stories via CountryGirl's spot on recaps, but this was rage and vomit inducing all at once. Bullshit. Bullshit on all of that. I hope bill goes on a gorgeous sailing vacation away from these inbred yokels and comes back with... I dont know... Felecia or poor Donna on his arm, tanned and "relaxed". Steffy, go ahead and take the damn CEO position. No one knows what the job entails beyond walking around with folders and yelling at Pam. CEOs and Presidents at FCs only last a few months anyway.

Glad to hear about everyone's nice Thanksgiving family and friends events. My sis has been too stressed this year with a new baby (only 5 months old) and more stress after a promotion at work, so she decided to take a real break for the holiday. So for the first time I tried my hand at making the meal on my own. Luckily, there's just my own 3 year old, who had oatmeal, (damn picky eater) and the father of that 3 year old, and myself. I had to work during the day, but it didn't take too long to bake a chicken and whip up some sides. I was really proud of myself! I was NOT proud of watching the Thanksgiving episode, with all the ass kissing to the right (to the right, to the right...spew all your bullshit directly to the right!) I know they've done that before, but it wasn't Thanksgiving -was it? Was it the ridonkulous two months pregnant baby shower right before her wig took a tumble down the 7 flights of outdoor stairs? (did she return those gifts?) Anyway, I wanted to hear the internal thoughts right after someone smiled and said something "nice" about the person to the right "I admire your strength! Internally: You're a ball busting shrew." "Thanks for being my friend and getting my toddler into school. Internal dialog: I'm gonna make your wife go nuts and stab someone"

Does Soccer star RJ still have his honorary sword necklace that $Bill sent him one of the times Brill was supposed to happen? At least Ivy had a chance to condition her hair. And does Quinn really want her to lose her "accent?" Anyway... MAKEOVER MONTAGE!!! Woo hooooo! And we're Chicken and Waffles fighting over that rag doll Steffy with the Exact Same Dialog months ago? There's been no movement in that story? Chicken has spent about 90 percent of his 'marriage' trying to convince his wife not to run away with her ex. Let it go, let it go... become one with the wind and sky....

First time I've had a chance to watch in weeks and I get an Avants and Soulverine episode? Ugh. Although I can't think of any SL that's more worthy of tuning in. Maybe the Adam n Eve saga, just for the EWWWW that is slathered all over all of them. I enjoyed watching Sasha FINALLY vent her spleen all over Nicole. But it's too late in the pregnancy for a good faint to mean a TOCK. Where's that room backstage at Forrester with all that exposed wiring? It's about time for a good old fashioned electrocution. Maybe someone's weave could catch on fire. For clarity, I only want nicole electocuted. The baby can survive after emergency c section. And maybe have superpowers. Or Sasha can catch a few thousand volts, with only Nicole knowing her secret.And While Mama Long Legs is in a coma Nicole can give Papa A the Squint Eye the whole time.

Well they stopped killing off Black Males for a while, so someone's gotta go.

I peeked in today just to see what the hub bub's all about and WOW. what in the actual fuq was that? Let me start with.. I think Quinn DID give Deacon the heave over the cliff. We only saw the last hug and then she was in a silk robe ready for pre hike Sessy Bizniz (that's totally a thing, right?). When LiDam was packing his little school bag, I thought for sure he was gonna put a couple of juice boxes in there and a Lunchables and run away from "home". Why is he not even a little suspicious or uneasy? How is this storyline supposed to have any interest if there's no possibility that he's ever going to figure this out? Steffy looks like she's trying to slowly turn into Hope. And Ivy looked and just WAS stunning. Yes, steffy, you got engaged to your fiancee's brother unseemingly quickly. $Bill is as much of an idiot as Wyatt. And right now Wyatt is the thirstiest idiot in town. And this is a town with both Rick Forrester AND Long Legged Sasha. Thank Heavens for small favors. No Firrester/Avants.

Funny thing is...this quote doesn't specify which story line, but it really could be ANY of them!

Wow, I got out in time. Sometimes I catch a few minutes while I'm getting ready for work, and I usually quickly change the channel to cartoons or something. I don't care what Maya and Rick are doing, ever. The show can pretend that only rainbows shoot out of both of their asses, but I remember, Show. I remember. I wish Sasha would just get her bunny boiling on, and go completely eyes spinning crazy. She could kidnap Rick, or Zende or both. Keep them drugged and have her way with them while sending out pictures of them doing it to their significant others and to whatever gossip rag $Bill is publishing. Why not? Its what all the cool kids are doing now. I guess we shouldn't be too surprised by the latest Fuller Foolery, Wyatt first "fell in love" with Hope when she hit her head on a rock and was passed out cold. Instead of calling 911, he smooched her back to consciousness! He learnt it from his Mama! Things have gotten really gross on this show. But I still enjoy the reactions and analysis from everyone on here. Even when their opinions or their perceptions differ from mine, its still entertaining and way more well thought out than anything on the show.

That's certainly ...different. Beats whatever cowl necked, zippered, off patterned monstrosity I caught St Maya wearing the other day. And the "Coochie Cutter" , casino flooring patterned nonsense Sasha's been prancercizing around town in. Every time that girl takes a step, I can feel a Ghost Wedgie. Get her a better weave, she's a good looking girl. She got her Weave at Steffie's house of "Too much is never enough". Ivy needs a fall off a balcony or something. She's already been pushed off a bridge into a river, then electrocuted in a wall of Silly String (seriously, what the hell kind of electrical set up is that!!!??) whats one more potentially brain damaging event. maybe she'll fall for Zende or Carter or something.

Even casual viewing of a few minutes of Show is enraging. So Thomas designed a dress for Ivy? A dress that would've gotten him Auf'd from Project Runway. And ivy ears up all the flirting. Instead of saying "I have a boyfriend", which feeds into the 'women as object's narrative.. how about.. "Dibt do that, I don't like it or want it". Wyatt yammering to Haystack about her brother not respect I g his relationship was effing hilarious. Considering that is EXACTLY how Steff got that Polyester Prize Liam back under her thumb. Last week watching Maya slobber and giggle with glee when it was confirmed that Nicole is pregnant , then practically reach for the zip ties to truss her sister up for the duration was too much for me. 20 seconds was all I could stand. You just KNOW Maya is going to Nicole to nurse, because Speshul Forrester gets gas on regular formula!! And because Maya is just the absolute worse kind of person. When I was Nicole age, she probably would've been able to manipulate me too and watching Nicole bear the brunt of Maya's blind selfishness hurts my soul. You in DANGER Girl!!

In PA as well, Snap, and it's been on in the 1230 slot for as long as I can remember. You know, for all the maids and SHAMs (Remember Michael Keating as Mr Mom getting hooked on the show?). It at least used to be the #1 show for prison populations. But I think even in lockup you might decide working out, or converting to a new religion might be a better use of that hour.

My fantasy scenario, is that Nicole DOESN'T get pregnant with the Miracle Gift Baby. They try and try and try several times, and keep coming up snake eyes. Or Nicole does get preggers, but then miscarries and with complications, cant get pregnant again. And Maya secretly HATES her sister for killing HER Pretty Princess Dreams. No matter what, I want Maya to get a big ol' LOSER buzzer every single day. Shut your mouth while you chew on bitter cakes, Matriarch.

I am so glad I don't watch regularly anymore, this Gimme a Baby story is what rage blackouts are made for. I had my first and only child at 43! And once I knew he was there.. I couldn't imagine not being bonded to him. I know families who have been given the gift of adoption, and those who have used other means. But the chance that the birthing mother will bond with and be unable to give up their child is very real and more probable than not. I wish someone could at least delay Queen Maya's baby blood lust. Someone please suggest they wait three months... three Damn cycles, and revisit this insanity in the New Year. Why does this need to happen RIGHT NOW? Is someone dying? Sorry, this was a lengthy rant from someone only keeping up with the show here, but I've seen how this kind of thing can and does backfire, badly for everyone. Plus I am loving the Parents Avant. Someone needs to toss a net over poor trapped Nicole and dork shuffle her off to an exotic locale. With REAL doctors and therapists, and REAL FRIENDS or experienced mothers to talk to and learn from. So, Thomas was "banished" to Paris for the length of a serious TimeOut?

I saw a lot of Monday's show and I swear Maya looked like she wanted to take a big old Vampire BITE out of her own sister's uterus. I full expected her to grow fangs and start drooling she looked so delighted with herself that Nicole had fallen for this manipulation. It has been what 3 days in show time from the time they approached Nicole with the idea, and this appointment when she's about to be used as a walking incubator. Give the poor girl a few weeks to think, breath, party like the young girl she is, talk to more than ONE person about this! Shut up Brooke. "I approve", Of you zipping your lip

With this writing team, I wouldn't be surprised if they retconned maya to "She was a girl all along, her parents just decided they wanted a boy so raised her as such. So all the 'painful surgeries' she talked about were just a nose job and a breast lift. She had no idea she had a uterus all along!" Or something like that. Because these writers suck. No continuity, no respect for even RECENT history and anything that we've already seen play out can and will be handwaved away. Or, a Wizard did it!

So what happened to RJ's PreSpencerfying sword necklace? Does anyone even Skype with that kid? Didn't he have a summer break? Shouldn't he be about 25 by now?