smartyshorts

Does anyone in Genoa City ever just go on a bender and wake up with a hangovers maybe dry mouth? Any more than two drinks and some poor sucker ends up dead or caught in a bear trap. Peach, I want to survive a plane crash with your recaps.

I just kicked over my OWN trashcan in my own home after reading that. My poor two year old took it as a cue to get rock star destructive, but I just didn't care. Why Dog, Whyyyyyy???? Meanwhile back wherever FC is supposed to be, I see Liam is still standing around with his dumb mouth hanging open waiting for someone to tell him how to feel. This takeover story has moved firmly into gross territory. Can Brooke please fall down a flight of stairs already. I am sick of her swanning around in a swimsuit and sarong. I love your crazy ass Quinn, but lay off the physical violence for a while, or just use it on Deaks. He's into your whole Fifty Shades thing.

Because she actually walks around slack jawed and her resting face is scrunched up eyebrows and slightly open mouth. Like she's working on a particularly difficult math problem all the time. What floor are the Chilly and Gagadam penthouses on? All that plastic surgery must've given Bingo superpowers, to run up and down all of those flights through smoke that knocked poor Billy on his ass after half a flight. And when did he have a chance to throw a coat or blanket over Connor's pack and play? Did he come downstairs with the kid and figure he'd take a little nap on the floor?? Was he looking for a shoe or a magic music box? I guess Neil decided he didn't want to stand around listening to cane or Colin give their excuses or watch his beautiful nightmare of a wife pine for his son so he walked off to find the nearest bar. Maybe this IS Lost and they are all dead. At least they should be. Shut up Michael and your midlife crisis bangs. Maybe the Cabin Scoobies are all just playing along with this insane cover up until they get back to civilization, then someone sings like a canary.

First to address something I posted a couple of days ago, I only feel that the character of Maya has no business being lead model. The actress who portrays her has a beauty that is girl next door and almost anime at the same time. Being the wide eyed innocent faced spokesmodel for HFTF was perfect. But as the Face of Forrester, it doesn't compute. And since we never see her DO it, why is it so important storywise? Mostly I just want to clarify I didn't mean it as body shaming or anything like that. On to the GIANT ring that led to the wedding, what a sad mess that was.

Why would she demote Maya who as far as she knows was the only one on her son's side during all this mess? Because Maya should never have been or should be 'lead model' at any fashion house. She shouldn't be even A model for couture. And anything to keep her from proclaiming it in every other sentence of every conversation. I bet she gives that as her name when she gives her Starbucks order. I bet they write it as Lid Model.

My guess on How Neil Learns The Truth was that a doctor or nurse at one of his Miracle Treatment appointments would remark on the young couple canoodling outside in the waiting room and Neil's Wheels (hee hee) would start grinding to the inevitable conclusion. My partner in Soap crime thought he's sneak tap up on someone and hear them discussing the affair while hiding behind a potted plant or a slightly open door. Although I appreciate Cane loading the gun and pointing it in their direction by giving Neil the room key, he had no way of knowing Neil's eyeballs would start working just in time to be burned by he sight of his son and his wife making the beast with two backs. What was he hoping would happen? Hilary would have to stand quietly in a corner and hope Neil didn't hear sobbing? Was he hoping to "scare" them into telling the truth? Peach's disdain for all things Dummer is a beautiful thing to behold. I want to fill it with Hulk Smash coma juice.

I can't even explain how much I was looking forward to Peach's take on Blind Neil getting the Miracle Of Sight and Cuckolding. I lost a bet on HOW he was gonna find out, but now we know where Lily gets her bass mouthed gasping and gaping. Drunk and angry Neil needs to get his Righteous VENGANCE on! I hope he arranged a plane crash just to kill and or maim these duplicitous twerps Thank you Peach, thank you so much for eviscerating Summer at every opportunity, damn I can't stand that girl and her horrible Dad. I don't give two shits about whether Phyllis is in a HULK SMASH memory erasing rage or if Kelly keeps a knige and a vial of anti freeze in her purse though. Maybe she can poison Grampa Vlad and frame Phyllis for that too! Peach I want to marry your recaps at a hot dog stand in the park and then cheat on them with a stepchild.

Oh Steffy's, just go back to whatever island of misfit toys you flew in from. Why hasn't anyone mentioned that maybe the FORRESTERS should buy the Spencer's shares and take over? Although I am enjoying Liam having something to do, he can stop the whole "Rick's being mean to my wimminfolk" anytime now. Those women are adults and they can work out their own conflict resolution, or quit. I'm still not 100% sure that Aly really works for FC. Isn't she an intern for the HFTF line? And Ivy's a vendor. Why are these two acting like they're Team Cinderella against wicked stepmother Rick. What happened to Maya's spiky sister? I liked her. Now that Caroline has taken off her giant honking emerald, will Ridge replace it with a GREEN commitment ribbon? I'm glad these two finally did the deed, but Dear DOG it was so cheesy it made me constipated.

NinjaP, I agree that Steffy's needs to exit..stage left...and soon. But the cheeks on her putty face aren't the only implants, did you see that Sasha Fierce BaDONK she had in those tight pants? DAYUM, girl " Looks like some rap starrrr's girlfriend". Oh Brooke. Just a weary sigh from me over this latest nonsense. Even from "halfway around the world" Hope continues to be The Worst.

Angry Tomato Dylan just made my whole day. I want to have kids with you, question their paternity 3 or 4 times during their lives and sue you for full custody of one of them.

I was thinking Brooke's "leave my boy alone!" Speech was more because of the crowd in the room. She may tone it down once she is alone with Rick and works on convincing him to get help. But maybe her Mama Bear act was so that Rick would be coddled into believing Mommy's on his side and would be more receptive to her speaking some truth in a quieter private setting. As for Ridge charging in yelling about taking over ..I fully expected him to have a stick and start poking Rick in the side. Liam, I dig that you're all fired up about something, but have a seat. Your cousin and girlfriend are adults. Maybe just counsel them on what they can do about their hostile work environment. Bill damn near giggling at his Number One Son not only describing him, but starting to act like dear old Dad was priceless.

. This is how silly bitches get themselves killed by their off the rails exes. What was up with that shifty over the shoulder look from Liam during his and Ivy's post-coital embrace? Was it not the unicorns and rainbows that he thought it would be? I can't wait for Brooke to actually SAY something. I loved her little tweedish gray jacket.

As much as I am loving the Rick/Maya/ Carolyn /Ridge master lass...is ANYTHING else going on? There's no counterpoint storyline. What's Bill been doing? Katie? Did Deacon and Quinn fall into a hole? Or disintegrate on someone's lawn? Could RJ come home and try to figure out what the ever lovin fuck is going on with his Dad now? Even when it was 'the Dope Show' there was at least some other storyline going on that they'd check in on. And no, ALy and Ivy obsessing about where Rick is putting his penis these days doesn't count. Unless Oliver can argue with Aly about her fixation on other people's relationships.

I love that in this tragic tale I waver on who needs to take a seat, who is fresh out of fucks to give, who needs a box of tissues and a bridge to get over it. No one is glaringly in the right or wrong. Everyone's done jacked up shit to each other and everyone's getting some paybacks on someone at any given time. Except Ridge. "Everybody and their lawyer, Carter" need to call it a night and go home already. But in this story it's so fun to waver, and switch loyalties and hiss and cheer at any of the three main characters reading each other. lo and behold..no endless longing musical montages of Impatience in Paris, Abandon Ship weddings or Staircase Acrobatics(although they should insert that flash back into every episode, just for funsies).

Why does everyone have their collective Panties in a twist about Rick doing pretty much exactly what his little sister Hope did a few months ago? Choice A disappoints, move to Choice B within a half hour. The only thing keeping Rick from a shipboard spite-marriage is the time it will take to get out of his current marriage. He's using Portrait Gate as a substitute. And Ridge telling Ricky baby "tell me one more time that you don't want her back, and I'll believe you" ...... Ooh, damn you just got SERVED Baby Ricky!! He gon' git yer gurlllllll! And Maya? Grande Dame? Someone's been reading Victorian novels or something. So what happened to Living Room Tub apartment after Maya lived in it for...three days?

Peach I applaud and nearly worship at your alter for all that you do. My New Years wish for you is a week of Winters shenanigans so that you can FF all of it (if not just delete) in good conscience we would all cheer you on so you could have some peaceful time for yourself. Happy new year everyone! )

Oh Rick and Maya, you're too dumb to be having an affair. And has Maya the Honest, Supportive, Loyal, Ride or Die told her "Man" (god how I hate when she says that) that she's spilled ALL of the beans to Othello? Granted, O doesn't interact with anyone until he's needed for a party set, but shouldn't Maya have cleared that with Mr CEO? Did you know that Rick is the CEO? And apparently there's some kind of papers he wants Eric to sign or something? And then...World Domination! I totally missed the Christmas episode, but for the first time ever I will go find that episode online because it sounds like it was amazing. Hey, Hope is in Italy y'all? Did you know that? I thought she just dissolved into sparkly bubbles in her mom's yard.

Fred Willard was in Dotty Grandpa who thinks his tired jokes are funny territory but I did chuckle when he 'wagged his tail' in anticipation. Nice to see Pam getting some play! As for Ivy vs the Dynamic DuhOh, WHY do they think she's not going to say anything to anyone? Her job? Which she doesn't really NEED now that she's got all this HFTF publicity and buzz? Maya needs to be introduced to the concept of keeping a low profile. Rick is just like his sister, as soon as Choice A disappoints, turn IMMEDIATELY to Choice B. Don't take a day or two to drink or eat iced cream and cry, destroy some barware. No, do not let even FIVE MINUTES pass before you are hot n heavy in a new relationship.

Oh Rick, knock up your gorgeous wife and you just KNOW Eric will sign the papers. I don't mean it though, I don't want that bristly worm getting nasty Maya cooties all over Caro. And why exactly did Maya confess to Othello? And texted him and had him come over specifically TO tell him? I didn't realize Maya even KNEW Othello. We know that Steffy's and Rick know him, and the toothy entertainment "reporter", but when did he and Maya become best girlfriends? I don't remember who said it, but Maya has no friends. Now with Hope off communing with butterflies, what does Quinn do all day? Wyatt? Their jobs used to be following and obsessing over Hope. At least Liam has something else to do, damn if we see him doing it though. Looks like Ivy flipped on the Crazy Eyes in Maya.

. These meetings at FCC are getting beyond ridiculous. Why not have Charlie sit in and offer his two cents about 'security for the FOUR stunning, mind blowing, touched by the actual Hand of GOD' gowns. Why was Quinn schlepping around the roof in pajama pants and slippers? She's too damn hot for that. My friend said "I wish she'd go ahead and jump just so she'd shut up about Hope already."

I thought you guys were exaggerating about Hope disappearing into space, but I just watched and damn it if she didn't fade dissolve like a magical being in a cheesy after school special! The Ghost of Christmas Future doesn't get as dramatic an exit. Is it wrong that I just wanted her to trip and fall into a hole in that golf course of a lawn? She really is a hateful beeyotch, isn't she? Wyatt has lost his mother, baby and wife within like 12 hours and this C U Next Tuesday can't even muster up a goodbye for the man she pledged herself to? Steffy at least had the decency to say goodbye. Bill can stay and speak truth all day, but I can't concentrate on anything he says with that cocktail sword sitting at his Adam's apple. Is his neck getting thicker? That choker looks like its actually choking him. The Ribbon of commitment makes me laugh hysterically every single time I see it.

TobinA, I thought Speedy Waffles was gonna hit a distraught Hope running out of the house pulling away from Quinn. That would've made sense though. The roving argument was so contrived, they might as well have had Hope ride off on Steffy's old motorcycle. So we are looking at at least another two weeks of this until the grown ups are allowed to come back out to play?

Lawd have Mercy, y'all. I have got the serious vapors watching that tuck n roll down the fountain staircase over and over and over. Isn't that how she and Wyatt met? She was running around in ill advised heels fell and knocked herself out? So if they were at Brooke's (get off MY property? Really? Unless the beach shack has an identical star fountain.) maybe Maya was upstairs lounging around in Brooke's yoga sweats and saw the whole thing from an upstairs window.

Re: Diaper cakes... They are pretty popular. I have two friends whose go to baby shower gift is ALWAYS a big diaper cake, registry be damned. And I think having a baby shower this early in the pregnancy is not only bad form, but bad luck. Unless the Mom to be is about to move out of state or country. Or off the planet. Oh great, yet another occasion where I am thinking...why the hell is Maya there? No, seriously. Why was she invited, why would she accept. She and Hope aren't friends. Is it one of those things where you start thinking, 'well she's been at all of our board meetings, maybe she is someone's friend or relative and we should keep including her'. Oh Quinn, I love her crazy ass, but I need her to find something new to do. Bill could use a poke in the neck! Besides, who crashes a baby shower without even bringing a fabulous gift? How gouache!!

. If you substitute "writers" for hospital, makes sense. I'm pretty sure the writers were still sketching this reveal out up til the actors were saying their lines on camera. And it will inevitably be something dumb, like somehow it's Ian Ward's baby.