laurakaye

I did think that was true too, but it appears that the bloom is off the rose for both of them. Hard to be madly in love with someone who says, "well maybe I'll leave you too, haha!" in front of the ex-wife who is in the process of doing exactly that. Kody looked pissed and Robyn backtracked so fast, I'm surprised her eyebrows stayed intact. Normally the Dark Queen doesn't mess up like that. A. - she won't have anyone else to lord her superiority over, B. - without the other wives, there won't be a show and she won't be able to keep purchasing those delightful art pieces she has crammed over every available flat surface, and C. - she will be all alone with a giant manbaby who is becoming darker and scarier with every passing year. I think it's years of repression, depression and heaviness coming off her in such strong waves, she forgot how to actually laugh.

This sentence shouldn't have made me laugh as hard as it did....😂

Does Jill know that most people don't "decorate" their stairs? Although I am sure she was probably thrilled to have all those brand-new flat surfaces to display some of her photographs and tchotchkes and whatnot. And how long have they lived in the Barndo and didn't have access to the second floor? Seems like that would be a fairly important task to complete, DAVE. I'm so sorry for the people on vacation who are just trying to relax at the same motel where the Rods landed. I imagine the acoustics in the enclosed pool area are pretty amazing for caterwauling in 10-part harmony, too.

That "sacred covenant" thing was super interesting also because I feel like Kody went off script there in a big way, and Robyn doesn't know how to act when she and Kody haven't rehearsed their lines in the mirror before presenting their one-act plays for the other wives. But why would Robyn make him promise that in the first place? Possibly because A. - she never thought in a million years that he wouldn't be warm for her form, and she'd always be his one true lurrrve (blech) or B. - by asking him that, she was subconsciously putting the thought into his pea-brain that this is exactly what he should be doing - leaving when he is no longer in love - but with his OTHER wives. Robyn has been playing with these people since before she even officially came into the family. The fact that it seems to have finally caught up to her is beautiful. She has to know that if even Meri, for crying out loud, has seen through her shenanigans, then the jig is truly up - which could account for her potentially real tears for the first time ever (still not 100% convinced, though).

I will say, I thought there was some interesting stuff going on with the Picnic Table of Doom scenes. I do think a huge bonus for Kody bringing Robyn into the family was that she could be all woo woo, woo woo with Kody when his big scary fillings started bubbling to the surface, and she could coo him into submission by pretending to be his mind-reader, thereby giving Kody an out when he was pissed off at his other wives...if Robyn thought he should just stay silent, he could flounce off and ignore his issues, because his Real Wife gave him permission to do so. Now, though, Kody has been trolling his Men 'R Us websites and I think he's onto the idea that Robyn has been stifling his man-fillings for years. Some of the looks Kody and Robyn gave each other at the picnic table made me think that all is definitely not well in the Mansion on the Hill. Robyn's joke about leaving Kody missed the mark by about 150 miles, and Kody told us on the couch that hey - he could just walk away from Robyn as well. Now, though, thanks to their machinations, they only have each other to dill with. They have successfully driven everyone else away from them, and now they're well and truly stuck with each other. They get to reckon with the fact that Kody has allowed Robyn to drive a wedge between him and the rest of the family (by his own actions but sanctioned by Robyn), but also that Robyn is now living with a man who is scarily falling off the rails. I would not want to live under that roof when they realize that this is it, this is all they have, and they see that their relationship only "worked" because they had the buffer of Christine, Janelle and Meri.

I want to talk about this episode with you guys but I don't fill like you are in the right head space. You can't really talk about - no, shhh. You're not ready to speak right now, I can tell. Anyway, here are my thoughts on this episode - Ba! Ba ba ba! NO talky! Calm down. I know you're not yelling but I can tell you're just about to, so you just sit there with one butt cheek falling off the bench and I will tell you when you are ready to speak. Well, now you've gone and made me dry cry. So what I'm gonna do is, I am just gonna take a little walk. Just a little walk, right down this trail to the Plague Pond. Just right here.....I am gonna walk away slowly so you all can talk about me and how sad I am. Here I go. Are you watching me walk away? Can you hear me sobbing? Can you see the dejected slump of my shoulders? Are you happy now? I can't even stand to sit by you. You are breaking my heart. I'm back. What did I miss? You - what? You all broke up while I was staring at the mountains and pining over what might have been had I not stuck my big fat nose into all of your business and ruined it beyond repair? No!! This is not about you, actually - it's about me and my porch and my rocking chair! This is unacceptable, I told you that you couldn't talk, and - where are you going?? Get off that ATV! Hey - get out of your car, what do you think you're doing? You're seriously going to leave me here all alone? Can't you see how deeply upset I am? How am I supposed to get back to my mansion - walk?? Why do you insist on destroying me? I JUST WANTED TO SIT ON A PORCH WITH ALL OF YOU AND WATCH OUR GRANDKIDS GET E COLI IN THE POND WHILE GRANDPA RAN AROUND IN HIS SKIVVIES! Sigh...................

That's some pretty good brainwashing by Mahmo for Tim to try and explain away a 10-pound weight loss upon coming back home on food poisoning, which also isn't a great look for Jill's cooking. How did he explain his waifish siblings, though?

I love taking half my restaurant food home, especially breakfast - it's an automatic "I don't have to come up with an idea for dinner" celebration for me. :) Also, with two social media averse grown kids of my own, I think it's sweet that Garrison took a picture of his mom for his own SM page. Take that, "dad."

Excellent post, @Roslyn. I just made a tiny change to your very accurate description of Kody. Also, if we ever need a title change for that guy, "Pink Elephant Gorilla Caveman Fun Sucker" suits him just fine. @nosedive....your paragraph about Genielle was perfection and a genuine pleasure to read!!

But! How are we supposed to know which one is Timothy?? Maybe it's my hopeful imagination but I feel like in that second picture, Tim's smile is like, "quit caterwauling for me to smile and take the damn pitcher already, Mahmo."

Imagine you're one of Jill's kids, trying to fall asleep for the night in the Barndo, and from across the hall you hear your mother suddenly wail, "Please help me!!" Nothing like a bit of terror and some heart palpitations for a restful night's sleep. Those poor kids. They must walk on eggshells around Jill every single day. I wonder if they even know what it feels like to fully relax. I also wonder what Dave does during Jill's nightly wailing - probably just sweetly grunts and falls back to sleep.

I'm waiting for the post where Jill barges into Kaylee's house and moves a recliner into the dining room, or a microwave into the bathroom, because SHE thinks it makes some sort of twisted sense - never mind that it might not be what Kaylee wants. It's just another way Jill exerts her control over her married kids. If Nurie didn't live so darn far away, Jill would be Jilling at her house too. I can't wait for the day when Jill traipses into Tim and Heidi's house with a plastic bin full of Hobby Lobby clearance tchotchkes all ready to put her "special" Mahmo touch on their place, and Tim turns her away at his front door.

True, I forgot who I was talking about here...clearly not people who take safety into any sort of consideration. I am reminded of when Ma and Pa Noyes came to stay at the Barndo and Jill's house was a literal obstacle course of loose rugs tossed on every available flat surface. My question is, did Jill pull this crap on her daughter's house as a dare to see if Kaylee and Jonathan will change what she did? Or is Jill really so clueless as to the basic idea of a window being an exit in case of a fire? I know she's got Plexus for brains, but I also struggle to think that a grown human person would purposefully block an exit with something that probably takes two people to move out of the way, especially when that home has babies living there. I wonder the same thing about Jill's own house. With the random extension cords hanging from ceilings and various single outlets with 12 devices plugged in, it's like she's almost trying to make something bad happen.

I would love to send Jill a book on the art of Feng Shui, but she'd probably gasp and throw it in the firepit. Even so, I'm pretty sure that blocking a door and a window with a piece of furniture too huge for a room is against even the most basic design principles.

Now don't panic, but I think those might have been actual real tears for the first time ever coming out of that woman's face. Because with Meri leaving, the TLC gravy train might just pull out of the station for good, leaving Robyn to come to terms with what she has wrought - by dissolving this family, she now has a mansion that she and Kody cannot afford, as well as the collectibles and questionable artwork she thinks she deserves, a nanny, fancy dinners out with her man, etc...all of it might be coming to an abrupt end, and she and Kody might have to get jobs and - gasp - downsize significantly. Maybe that college apartment that Janelle lived in is still available?

What, you weren't riveted by that conversation? "It's not going to fit." "I think it will. I measured side to side." "But did you measure east to west?" "No, but I think it will fit if I just gun it up the ramp." "You're going to blow it out the other end." "But I did measure diagonally." "So this should work." "It's getting dark." "But do we think this is going to work?" "It probably won't work." "But it might." "OK." Best scene of the entire episode. /s No kidding, the misery comes off of both of them in palpable waves. Brianna looked like she was trying not to cry (or fake cry) when Aurora was telling us what a family champ their mother is, but I suspect part of their misery is the dissonance between what Robyn tells them, and that some of their siblings seem very willing to make amends with them. They have to wonder about who is telling the truth. Excellent parenting as always, Robyn. 1000% this - to prove what a manly man he was. Also, Christine's half-brother Levi reminded me very much of Paedon in both looks and speech. Paedon must take strongly after Christine's dad.

Mykelti is the perfect combination of Christine's breathy immaturity and Kody's raging narcissism, so declaring her own personal announcements during anyone else's moment seems par for the course for her.

A SW podcast I listen to said that when Mykelti belted out her announcement at Christine's birthday party. she was showcasing her BKE - Big Kody Energy. I totally see this. I wonder if Kody sees this too, and if he's proud of her or scared of her.

As for Jill's latest dump, I find it pathetic that poor Janessa has to play with her dad's ears for entertainment. Odd, she doesn't seem to be laughing......

ZOMG I gotta quick send this out to my social media contacts 30 times in the next 48 hours!! p.s. I am laughing so hard I am crying.....at work. 😂

You guys, I was invited to sing onstage at Madison Square Garden last weekend but I couldn't make it because I had to rearrange my sock drawer, but I promise you, I was really invited! No kidding!! Hang on while I create edit photoshop show you my invitation, it's around here somewhere. I would've been really good too, I promise! But those socks aren't going to organize themselves, right?? Hahahaha

I was momentarily stumped as I read "Our dee.......................... pest prayer and desire" Also, Jill, kindly shut up about what kind of ring Heidi wanted, as if all of us are sitting here completely scandalized about the fact that she's not wearing a diamond. You do not have to preemptively answer questions that no one is asking.

Those pitchers would've been hung above the headboard alongside that ridiculous pitcher of the two of them posing next to Kody's convertible like a still shot from a music video. For sure - after all, this is the girl who sat on the interview couch and gave us a verbal dissertation on the merits of what ingredients go into the making of a perfect crepe, or why she should be allowed to ride an ATV on Plague Pass, or screaming at encouraging her bonus mom to go out on dates. This is why it's so bizarre to me that this child can even speak in complete sentences, given her use of a pacifier at age 6 and the fact that she leaps onto her nearest sibling whenever she feels like it. She's clearly intelligent, but it's also clear that she has no boundaries at home.

This, 1000%. And deep down, in his own stupid way, he was probably hoping for another place where he could run away and hide when he felt the need to escape the Dark Queen and her flying monkeys for a little while. Now, he's well and truly stuck. And I love it.

Exactly, she probably modeled this for David and he was all, "bow-chicka-wow!!" In contrast to Kody Brown, who was disgusted by watching Christine eat a damn nacho.